I’ve recently been re-reading Way Of The Superior Man for the 4th time (yes it’s that good, I highly recommend it) and it never ceases to amaze me at how much wisdom is packed into this little book. Published in 2004, it’s gone on to change the lives of hundreds of thousands of men all across the world—and for good reason. The novel struggles with the concept of masculinity, and how it applies to work, love, mindset, and most importantly, purpose.
The novel, despite being filled with countless gems of neomasculine wisdom, is so beautifully written that even women can appreciate it. It doesn’t have the usual “I’m angry at the world” undertone that a lot of red-pilled material does (not that the anger would be unjustified). Thus, I’ve decided to share 5 of my favorite quotes from this epic piece of literature, so that we may all learn from it, and hopefully live a better life.
1. On Women Giving You Shit Tests
![couple-arguing[1]](http://www.manosphere.at/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/couple-arguing1.jpg)
Your woman knows your weaknesses better than anybody. She knows where you will falter and give up. She knows the degree of mediocrity you will settle for. And, she knows your true capacity as a full man, a man of free consciousness and love. Her gift, if she is a good woman, is to test you with her darkest moods, over and over and over, until your consciousness is unperturbed by feminine challenge, and you are able to pervade her with your love, just as you are here to pervade the world. In response to your fearless consciousness, she will drench your world in love and light.
It is no secret that women will constantly test you as a man to see what you’re worth. It’s also no secret that learning to effectively pass a woman’s shit tests is one of the best ways to make her desperately want you. Yet despite this common knowledge within the manosphere, many men are still very uncertain as to why women test them.
Plenty of men get angry at the games that women play, the snarky little comments they make to try to undermine your confidence, and the sneaky tests that they throw at you to see what you’re made of. But, as David Deida points out, a woman’s shit tests are actually one of her greatest gifts to you, as a man.
Women don’t reward weakness. They do not reward a man who is spineless, who lacks firm boundaries, or who refuses to stand up for himself. They do, however, reward strength. They reward a man when he is completely and utterly grounded. They reward a man when he is a megalith of confidence, completely unmoved by her tests. This is, in fact, the greatest secret of all.
She WANTS you to be a strong man. Secretly, she’s hoping that you’ll be the amazing man who she wants to sweep her off her feet. As David Deida says, any woman you grow close to is very aware of what you will settle for. You can bet that she’s aware of where your weaknesses are, and unless you work on them, she will pound on them over and over again.
This is a woman’s greatest gift to you, ironically enough: to harden you through testing you.
2. On Masculine Spirituality
![masculine[1]](http://www.manosphere.at/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/masculine1-1.png)
The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth.
As I’ve been saying for quite some time now, masculinity gets a bad reputation for being some sort of primal, ape-like essence. Yes, as others such as Jack Donovan have pointed out, masculinity is very much physical. However it doesn’t stop there.
True masculinity is embodied in all “core four” areas of your life, as I have coined them: your body, your mind, your heart, and your spirit.
A man’s body must be physically strong and his mind must be sharp. Everyone knows these things, however what most men are not aware of, is that masculinity is also part emotional and part spiritual. A whole novel could be written on the nuances of emotional masculinity, but essentially what it comes down to is this: men draw state from within, and women draw state from without.
In other words, a man’s emotions influence his environment, whereas a woman’s emotions are influenced by her environment. Yes, obviously this is a gross oversimplification, but in general it’s true. This is why women love to talk; vibing with their girlfriends puts them both in a good mood. It’s why they love to dance; they draw good emotions from the music and their environment, much more so than men.
It’s why men are the creators, the movers, and the producers of the world; their internal ambition acts on their external world. They have an emotion, and they make it reality.
This is precisely what David Deida is saying. As a man, it is your duty to penetrate the world with your love, and with your vision. Do not waste time over pettiness or frivolities. Seek to leave your mark on the world…”not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth.”
3. On Fear
![To-understand-your-fear[1]](http://www.manosphere.at/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/To-understand-your-fear1.jpg)
Your fear is the sharpest definition of your self. You should know it. You should feel it virtually constantly. Fear needs to become your friend, so that you are no longer uncomfortable with it.
It is a common misbelief that fear is a bad thing. Fear, in excess, or should I say without courage, is definitely a bad thing. Even then, however, it points you to exactly what you need to do.
Many a poet, author, and motivational speaker, have lauded fear for its ability to show you the way. Fear is like a guidepost: it shows you what you must do if you wish to fulfill your destiny. Fear is that nagging little bitch in the back of your mind that’s telling you to “wait another day,” before you start that business.
It’s that voice telling you to give up and just get a stable job, because you’ll never be able to achieve your dreams. It’s that voice telling you to give up on your purpose as a man. Ironically enough, however, you must do exactly what it is that you’re afraid of.
I believe it was Stephen Pressfield who said that the more inner resistance we face towards doing something, the more vital it is for our personal growth…and this is so, entirely true. When you’re afraid to do something, you’re on the verge of a massive breakthrough in your personal evolution. When you confront your fear, and tell that bastard “fuck you,” as you fly in its face and do what it is that you want to do, you take another step towards becoming the ideal version of yourself.
Whether it’s learning game as a newbie, making an irrevocable commitment to yourself, or deciding to leave behind your material life to pursue a passion, if you’re afraid of it, you can bet your ass that you need to do it. As David Deida says, “Fear needs to become your friend, so that you are no longer uncomfortable with it.”
4. On Living Life
If you are waiting for anything in order to live and love without holding back, then you suffer. Every moment is the most important moment of your life. No future time is better than now to let down your guard and love.
This quote speaks to me on a very deep and personal level. For most of my life, I was afraid to just be myself. Years of dysfunctional relationships and abuse had left me a completely broken shell of a man, too afraid to live life on his own terms.
But something told me that this would not do. In the words of C.S. Lewis:
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
The man who waits for something, as David Deida says, in order to live and love without holding back, will ultimately only suffer. I’m struggling to find words that can express my thoughts without having to resort to cliches…and I can’t do it.
I can’t do it, because everything that needs to be said has already been said a million times before. It’s all a cliche, but that’s the point…a cliche is something that everyone recognizes to be true, but that nobody really lives by. Everyone, on some level, knows that we only have one life. Everyone knows that they’re going to die some day, and that they would be happier doing something else.
But nobody fucking does that something else. They just take the path of least resistance and end up dying a miserable, meaningless life, without having left anything behind. I implore you not to be like them; do not leave anything behind. To quote another oft quoted cliche: “Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today.”
5. On Masculine Purpose
![new-poster-out-ranveer-singh-as-the-fierce-warrior-in-bajirao-mastani-0001[1]](http://www.manosphere.at/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/new-poster-out-ranveer-singh-as-the-fierce-warrior-in-bajirao-mastani-00011.jpg)
Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship. If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, disserves the universe, and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer his full, undivided presence.
I thought a lot about which quote to include as my final piece of advice. There’s a plethora of incredible quotes on having a purpose from this book, but I thought that this one was the most poignant, because I believe it’s a lesson that many men have yet to learn, and what’s more, I believe that many of us have had to re-learn this lesson a number of times before finally accepting it.
You. Must. Not. Make. A. Woman. Your. Purpose.
When you make a woman your purpose, you deny the universe the greatest gift that you can give it. As a man, being on your purpose is not only your obligation, but it is the only way that you will be happy. Why do you think that depression is such a widespread disease among so many modern men? It’s because they lack a strong sense of purpose.
For millenia, our purpose was given to us; we had not a choice. Our purpose was to defend the tribe from invaders, and to protect our women and children, as well as our brothers in arms. But now? We have no purpose. We have no great war, no impending doom…just a miserable existence in a world devoid of purpose. This is our gift.
“How can this be our gift, Jon? We have no purpose!” I can hear someone ask. Yes, you’re right. We do, in fact, have no purpose.
Now, it’s our turn to create one.
It’s our time to forge our own destinies, and charge down our own paths, carving out our places in the world, creating a ripple of positivity that will last for eons. It’s our time to delve deep into our own souls, and discover our life’s meaning. It’s time to take responsibility for our own destinies…and I hope that you’re all up to the task, because we’ve got one hell of a road ahead of us.
Summary
If these five quotes have been meaningful to you, then you need to read this book. I cannot stress how life-changing it was for me, and I’m thankful that I read it during a time when I was having a personal crisis. I would likely not be the same man that I am today without his guidance.
David Deida is one of my favorite authors on masculine spirituality; as I said before, he forcefully exposes red pill truths, yet he writes them so eloquently and beautifully, that even the most hardened feminist could appreciate them. If you are wise, you will get yourself a copy, highlight it, dog-ear it, and re-read it for years to come. That’s what I’ve done, and it’s served me well.
Read More: 21 Quotes Of The Vikings’ Havamal To Guide A Masculine Lifestyle
Great article. #1, though, is a simplification. A woman who is constantly making snarky little comments to belittle her man should be taught that that is unacceptable. She isn’t helping him become a better man. She’s spitting venom because she hates herself. If she can’t be cured of it, she should be dumped.
Very true. Here’s the way I see it: expect a lot of that shit early on when you first meet her, but if it doesn’t go away after you’ve been with her for a while, dump her ass.
Also you can tell a shit test based off of the tone. Usually shit tests are said in a more light-hearted way, whereas chump-shaming (aka where she belittles you all the time) is very mean and directed towards you in a negative way.
Yeah, I like that distinction. It doesn’t matter how strong a man is, having a relentlessly derisive, mocking audience in the person who is supposed to be your ally is a recipe for disaster.
I think the occasional shit test is still healthy, though. Whether it’s in the form of “I’m having an emotional day” and she needs you as a man to calm her down, or whatever it is. Being in a relationship is a great way to get experience passing these nuclear shit tests.
Agreed. I was reading that paragraph and shaking my head.
I have a strong dislike for negative attitudes and for anyone who would repeatedly question and doubt my abilities. Repeated shit tests are to be terminated. If my relationship partner doubts my abilities to that extent, it’s time for a new partner. You will encounter occasional shit tests, but they should not be on a never ending basis.
Time for more Havamal-esque renderings:
1
The strength of a man is found
In both heart and limbs
As fighting increases strength
So arguing strengthens the mind
2
From a man’s heart
Flows strength and love
In the company of a good man
The world becomes a better place
3
In the darkness of man’s heart alone
Can fear thrive
A man who knows his fears
Can turn them to strength
4
No man can foresee
The moment of his death
He who lives his life well
Need never fear it
5
The man who chooses his paths
Walks with his head held high
Better alone with his purpose
Than chasing another’s whim
EDIT:
Original 1 read as such. I replaced it with a more general (and appropriately true) one:
The strength of a man is found
In both heart and limbs
As fighting increases strength
So women strengthen the mind
Great comment. I like how a lot of the masculine wisdom that’s passed down is really all saying the same stuff.
Don’t let women fuck with your emotions, give the world your all, face your fears, live life to the fullest, embody your purpose…
Thank you!
The Eddas and Tao Te Ching have been my most useful “life advisors”. In Havamal, it is all clear as water and even now, as truthful as it was when first written.
You might also enjoy the book of Proverbs (I prefer the KJV).
We have neglected the wisdom passed down to us, and we suffer for it. Truth is truth, and people are the same as they’ve always been.
I know the Holy Bible very well, and what you say is right.
However, there are serious inconsistencies between the Covenants and I definitely walked away from the Christian ‘ethos’ (for different reasons). Nevertheless, the Bible will always have a place in my home and in my mind, and a great value as a spiritual guide, of course. I second your advise. Everybody should read it at least once.
I’m working my way through Ecclesiastes right now. It tells the story of every philosopher in history, in every era.
What’s fascinating is that Roosh’s more recent posts allude to the same exact path. Indeed, there is nothing new under the sun.
I have comented here in that line too. People saying we live a completely different era and reality of our species are simply living an illusion. We are what we are, sometimes with better gadgets, others with less, but the fundamental fabric of our nature remains the same. And that is NOT a bad thing. We need to accept it.
Only a sad man would desire to be more or less than what he really is. Atheism is sort of a reflex of people who reject their nature, who want to be others (maybe demigods or demiurges of their own godless universes) before they knew who they were in the first place.
The most important book in the Bible for me. Before I knew about the existence of Red Pill related philosophy, this was probably the section that helped get me through dark times in college.
I’ve always loved how with just two or three lines the book of Proverbs would sum up entire books, treaties, and philosophies. “The mouth of a whore is a bottomless pit, he will be destroyed who fall within”. Those couple lines basically sums up all the red pill, the effects of feminism, and the state of modern man, in one sentence.
I don’t know. I respect the effort but “Masculine Spirituality” is something of an oxymoron. Just go do shit.
Also, very heavy usage of the word “Love.” That’s a purple pill word on its best day. Go eat the ass of a girl who does low-bar back squats. Forget “Love.” It’s not 1987.
I like to recall that the Greeks defined four “loves”. There is the compassionate and merciful love of a ruling Lord to his people (agape), the love between brothers (philia), the love between man and woman (eros), and empathetic love for others (storge).
In their best states, these are great things. We tend to think of a corrupted eros as “love” – that feeling of maddening and unrequited desire that is so common among the young and cowardly – but that is not its limit.
Respectfully disagree. Spirituality doesn’t have to be “woo-woo,” it can be very masculine.
Spirituality can be either feminine (receptive, contractive) or masculine (assertive, expansive).
Well it can be this and it can be that and it also can be taken too far into saccharine levels. Some of this stuff is getting dangerously close to that.
How so? Can you provide quotes. I like when people disagree with my work, it gives me a chance to think about it in a different light.
Not your work, but Deida’s. I call ‘snake oil’ on him, frankly. I respect your efforts. Go further back though. Go to the real masters.
Ah, I can see why you say that. He does approach the “woo-woo” territory quite often.
I strongly think so. Put your mind (and it’s a good one) to greater thinkers than this manque.
Your effort is solid here. Put that mind to other thinkers also.
The Indians are woo-woo and if you put all the Ghandi shit aside they aren’t no sitting bull.
I had never thought of it in those terms, but it’s absolutely correct.
One reason I have yet to find a church after moving is that they all emphasize the feminine. I like to meditate and sing hymns and pray as much as the next guy, but as James once said, “Faith without works is dead.”
Yin and Yang.
Yup – Christianity actually used to be red pilled as fuck. The elites have slowly infiltrated religions though, and made them all wishy washy and emotional.
I went to a Catholic school as a kid (which I’m very thankful for) and the girls all had to wear skirts no more than an inch above their knees, boys had to wear slacks and tuck in their shirts, we were educated about Greek philosophers, and had to do service projects (volunteering or something) each year.
When I graduated I saw that the school was becoming more feminist and “muh feels,” though. They brought in some SJW principle who was changing the culture, and the older men resented it. A bunch of them were fired.
Ironic insofar as “Social Justice” originated in the Catholic Church, donchathink?
Did it really? I always thought it was the Marxists.
Admittedly, the most powerful weapon in the Marxist arsenal has always been the Christian moral code. A little twist here and there, and you can get many Christians to accept all kinds of anti-Christian teachings.
Yes. Original socialists were generally Christians trying to bring that whole Heaven thing to earth earlier than anticipated. I work for a Catholic company and they talk about social justice, in a non-political context, all the time. Things like helping the poor, defending the weak, etc., basically extrapolating Christ’s life and trying to be Christlike. When put into politics, where it *clearly* does not belong, it becomes many of the underpinnings of socialism. Where it fails is that Christ requires individuals to make moral choices, as there is no collective salvation, whereas socialists reverse that.
I’ve opined that the key difference between the Left and the Right on many issues is individual moral choice. The Left operates from a collective mentality because they do not accept their own degeneracy (e.g. no personal desire to help the poor, but desire to see the poor helped -> welfare). The Right accept that they are individually degenerate but strive to be otherwise (e.g. know they should desire to help the poor even if they find it uncomfortable -> charity).
Should we stop trying to make the world a better place for ourselves and our posterity? God forbid. But we must start from within, or every change we make will make things worse.
“and they talk and they talk about social justice, in a non-political context, all the time. Things like helping the poor, defending the weak, etc.,”
A catholic company? My parish associates “social justice” with marxism, homosexuality, feminisim, etc.. it is simply another deception of the devil to mislead. If you want to help the poor, teach them to fish (skill).
Yeah, me too. Also everybody seems henpecked.
Very well said. The closer to home that starts the more sincere and appropriately applied it is.
I think that they’re covertly against Vatican II. We have nuns walking around on Ash Wednesday with ash on their forehead, in the office (when I worked in the office I mean), and Christmas is the ONLY “holiday” celebrated in Winter, and Easter is about Christ. They’re kinda hardcore on that stuff. We also have a lot of emails with Latin headers or quotes at the signature, which I really enjoy.
I honestly enjoy working for them. I haven’t worked for a company that I actually like since the mid 1990’s. It’s a breath of fresh air.
You’re a good man, Charlie Brown. I really enjoy your posts and that you “get” what I’m saying almost intuitively.
Where it fails is that they took the “Kingdom of God” as meaning trying to force some utopian,everybody lets hold hands, ideal into political existence, NOW. The problem is the Bible only says something like that is possible only when “all former things are passed away”. Trying to do that with an unregenerate humanity is foolish, and will only lead to gross suffering, as we have seen from all socialist regimes in existence.
That’s wonderful. I shudder to think what work opportunities will exist 50-100 years from now. Corporate desert hell…
True, women are implosive, while men are explosive
Which is why men fight for the greater good, women fight for special rights for the few by depriving the rights of the many. What benefits men benefits everybody, what benefits women takes away from the benefits of the many
Implosive energy is ironically 1000’s of times more powerful then explosive energy, but has a very limited area of effect
While explosive energy isnt as powerful at any given point, but it has an infinite area of effect
This is mirrored in real life, women have a concentrated area of effect, giving birth & are useless for anything else
While men have an incredibly wide area of effect literally creating civilisation etc.
You can only champion or fight for the weak by enslaving the strong. You cant build a strong civilisation by championing the weak, as it always enslaves the strong
Champion the strong & you uplift the weak as a byproduct
Success is to be found at the other side of Hell
Two months after the wedding, she stands over me while I’m typing and issues a nuclear shit test: “What’s more important, me or your career?”
I think about it, then hedge. “You’re both equally important.”
That was wrong. The correct response should’ve been this: “My career. It was here before I met you, it’s here right now, and after you’re gone, it’ll still be here.”
She walked out a few years later. My career is better than ever.
That, sir, is indeed a nuclear shit test; among the likes of Hiroshima.
I’m a straight up sap, so here’s what I likely would have said.
“I love you, girl, more than you will likely ever know.”
Doesn’t really answer the question (which is more important), and that’s the point. Follow it up with a passionate kiss and some rough sex, and hopefully it never comes up again.
Would you have cried too?
Nah.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwww
Yeah, yeah, get it out of your system.
How about “I love you less when you give me these shit tests”.
Rookie shit test. The correct answer is a pondering deep thought look and then a head nod to the assured answer of “pizza is more important”. Then smirk and walk away asking yourself out-loud “Is it Dominos or Pizza Hut, today?”
Then, wait for the little girl plead for you to answer the question as you withdraw your attention from the obvious attempt to cause you drama.
Homer Simpson taught us how to pass a shit test, after all. Good old television.
Two things:
1) She was not the type to accept flippant answers. As I recall, I tried to deflect and reframe, but she came back twice as hard.
2) This wasn’t some casual fuckbuddy. We were legally wedded, which is why I was surprised when the shit tests amplified to stadium-level. I’d thought I’d already passed, you know?
Important lesson for the unmarried, here.
My dad always said my mom changed the instant he proposed. I’ve seen similar things among my friends, as well.
Marriage isn’t necessarily the commitment and love we like to hope for. For some women, it’s license to ramp the bitchiness up to 11.
EDIT: But it doesn’t have to be, if you learn to select for those women less prone toward such behaviors and maintain frame throughout the entire relationship. It can work, but first you have to be properly trained.
Dating and being engaged are like subjects in school, and Marriage is like you passing the Final test.
Most people that pass forget everything they learned about the subject material, and the vast majority of people stop trying after they get married.
This is something I learned from dear old Dad. He grew up with a bunch of brothers and a largely-absent mom, so he was unfamiliar with shit tests. Watching him learn to handle them over the course of my childhood taught me a lot.
Of course, fighting and losing with my mom and sisters for almost two decades helped a bit, too. Shit tests aren’t just for the men they date.
Important lesson to the unmarried: stay that way
Guys who grow up with a lot of sisters know how to calibrate to women. They’ve played the game their whole lives. Guys who grow up with a lot of brothers have to learn it as adults.
In marriage as in battle
One must always lead
Better to be master in one’s home
Than slave in another’s
or
In marriage as in battle
A man must choose his company
Close companions breed victory
Subversives are worse than enemies
Ok princess. You’re right. Guess that’s why your still married, right? You think she magically changed into someone else who is equal to a man when you married her? Wrong. She was the same woman and responded to the same ole game. You failed. Live and learn. Just learn to admit when you failed. Marriage is just dating on hard mode.
Ha, I think/hope I have managed to avoid that. I waited a looong time before proposing (like until I’m sure she was wondering if it would happen) and the wife now works harder on being better – improving her cooking, working on diet and exercise to “stay skinny” for me, etc. And she’s an American woman!
Preach brother. They think that cause they put a ring on it they now own the dang woman. Wrong ladies and gents. That is amateur hour stuff. Still gotta game and still gotta court.
Grew up with single mom and two slim, blonde, entitled asshole sisters. Shit test are breakfast for me
Women are typically even worse. No more pretense of being pleasant. No more restraining the crazy thoughts that enter her head. Dropped fashion sense, etc, etc.
Or being single rocks!
The pic says it all
“Tell me about your father?” Should be one of the first questions you ask a potential LTR. The good ones tend to have dad in the background.
Better:
“Introduce me to your father” Assuming you’re far enough in to consider a LTR of course.
If dad and mom don’t live together, split. Immediately.
True. However I had (a good) one metnion, he passed away from cancer a couple of years ago and her parents were together till his end. Hence, proceed cautiously with “asking” about her father.
Absolutely correct, ex(es) who had horrible relationships with their fathers seemed to have a lot of difficulty respecting and loving, the current one who has a great relationship with her father is on point. If I’m sitting there when food is out and she doesn’t get me a plate then her mom will tell her. Solid board so far.
It didn’t hit me to much later in life how true it is.
Also if you want to know how a woman is going to turnout later in life, observe her mother. My own mother told me that one.
Yeah, death is an excusable reason. Heh. Assuming it wasn’t mom who killed him I mean.
Long story short, I went on a date years ago with a girl I met through friends. She sucked my dick on the ride home, I wasn’t complaining. Then I noticed every time we went on a date, she would go for my dick as soon as the date was over and I was driving her home. This prompted me to say, jokingly, “jeez, did your dad abandon you or something?” and she actually replied yes and continued on grabbing at my dick. I let her do the deed but that was that, never again.
Many, many men have told me the girl changes after the wedding. My last close friend to marry (I was his best man) told me she changed literally (Hitler) the day after the wedding. They weren’t even at the Honeymoon destination and she was a different person. He says he will stay married to her as long as it works, but would never marry again.
Get fat? Look at those chunky arms and cheeks and linebacker shoulders. If this is the best she could put together for her wedding day she isn’t that far from fat now
I think there are exceptions to every rule, but like most rules, this should be followed in 99.9% of cases. I am currently seeing a feminine kind, polite, submissive latina whose father left when she was around 12. That really troubles me, and is probably my largest concern in continuing a LTR with her, but she seems to do all the right things. And dad is still a part of her life.
If I had a choice between two otherwise similar women, I would take the one with intact family every time. But this is sort of a different comparison (Feminine, conservative foreign raised Latina who hates tattoos and degeneracy, is extremely compliant and submissive vs American girl raised in a corrupt culture whose parents are still married).
I know I’m running the gauntlet, and will need to teach her some things she didn’t learn from having a good father figure, but she’s over a decade younger than me and still impressionable. Then again, I could be fucking up royally, we will have to wait and see.
Damn you are uber-discerning. I want your rejects, dude. Send me some photos and phone numbers.
I think you’re being too hard on the gal. Based on current weight-metrics, she’s well above average.
My uncle said the same thing recently. He told me they were about 25 miles from the wedding reception in 1970 when he noticed it and it dawned on him he made a huge mistake. It was a long and sexless marriage until the divorce.
I have a discerning palate
Every relationship is a gauntlet. Stick to your guns, man. She sounds like a keeper to me, too…
Yeah, his brother openly tells me “I hate that bitch” so I’m pretty sure things are not rosy and my buddy is in a similar situation. We only talk every few months now.
I’ve known her a year, and girls can keep a lie going a long time, but I’ve never seen her get angry or crazy in that time. It actually makes me kind of suspicious.. every girl I’ve known in my life flips out at some point.
As per my previous comment in this thread….. point proven.
I need to ask, was your standard response simply lapsing into silence and smirking at them the whole time? Then scoffingly laugh when they stormed off?
They do exist. I met one – and only one. Dated her for seven years. She got mad and “flipped out” only once. This consisted of her throwing her eyeliner on the floor of the bathroom, and saying, “Darn it”. She immediately apologized. She was raised Catholic. I don’t know if your girl was raised the same, but many latinas are…
My former spouse’s mother was loving and supportive of her children and even me … but she could verbally flay her husband. And she was a control freak, the type who literally hated leaving home because leaving home = losing control.
The apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
On our honeymoon, my ex picked four massive fights in nineteen days. “I wasn’t ready to get off the cock carousel why did I marry you” was the overall message. I wasn’t panicking, but a little voice in the back of my head told me that it didn’t matter how solid my frame, how cocky-funny I acted, how ripped I got. She was eventually going to find a reason to get out, period.
In the end, she didn’t even have a reason. I withstood all the shit tests, and she couldn’t find a way to object any further, so she just slunk out like an idiot.
But if dad is a doormat to a horrible mother, then it’s even worse than having an absent father.
And kept a ready hoard of Shake Weights?
There’s something to be said of a girl who has taken time to trim the triceps.
Yes, but you eventually meet him and see that for yourself.
Eh, I think that’s a little harsh. My dad did a lot for me, but I don’t blame him for divorcing after 25 years. Nothing he did was ever good enough and all my mom did was complain and criticize. He did the right thing and kept the family in tact for us to grow up and now he is free to do what he wants and live in peace. There is no reason for them to be together since the kids are all gone.
Speaking to the father has almost nothing whatsoever to do with you, unless he’s absent. It’s about observing his relationship with your mother. Ultimately, that’s the kind of man you’re going to seek, whether you’re willing to cotton to it or not, all women do (generally, insane psychos to the contrary notwithstanding). If that guy ain’t the man you’re marrying, there will be big, big issues.
The problem is that at the beginning, she’ll be everything you want. She WILL settle into what was dealt to her by the absence of her father. 100%. Every, single, time.
You are the wind beneath my wings. My first thoughts were “average, with clear indicators of trending towards a future fatty. Side cheek kiss, this will be a perpetually sexless marriage”.
? Id paint Hawaii all over that baby, no butter no napkin. Looks gorgeous to me.
“Dont know, mom drove him to suicide cheating on him when I was a baby.” -former sociopath gf
Conservative latina with top shelf maid skills FTW married one
How about calling off the engagement if she ramps up the bitchiness? Many women know enough to wait until after the wedding ceremony to change but if she is stupid enough to do it before the wedding then just call it off. Better yet, just don’t get married given today’s environment.
Raising ye olde BS flag….
The way I cook I either need three more wives or some serf kids. Cooking for yourself suuuucks, too much waste and effort.
If you think that she’s chunky, then you need to get out more often to see the land whales that dominate the landscape. A woman on her wedding day is probably the thinnest she’ll ever be for the rest of her life. What’s with kiss on the cheek?
If you’re going to get married and your future wife comes from a non-divorced household, looking at how the wife’s parents interact with each other is an important clue as to how your future wife will behave since that is her main example of how relationships operate. If the future wife comes from a divorced household, then she may be more prone to jump ship when things get difficult. Don’t ignore the signs and better yet, don’t get married.
Time for your close friend to divorce her before they have any kids and he gets trapped living in Hitler’s concentration camps.
He would of been wise to stop at a McDonald’s and told her to go in and get him a Big Mac. While she was inside McDonald’s he could of driven off and saved himself much suffering.
I actually very much enjoy and do a good job at that.
she can say too : “Now, I can stop giving him blow jobs”
Look at the dumbasses sideburns. What a doofus. .
…
She cant wait to cheat
Must be efficient with the leftovers
Ugh. Ouch. I hope you stood up and walked immediately?
Haha….yep. You can tell by the look in her eyes she’s Already thinking about some other dude she would rather have laying the pipe.
Have to say it…Cleveland rocks!!! Lol. Loved that show.
Look at the body language on her face: “I can’t believe I’m settling for this pathetic beta…”
I think this is the wise survey: 1/relationship w Dad growing up and currently 2/her parents relationship to each other 3/her prior guy relationships and how they went and ended. That will tell you 99% of what you need to know… IF you can get some accurate info.
Oh had to hear about grandpa sticky fingers too. Evil background
One wonders why she settled if that’s her attitude. Maybe she’s insecure and needs a weak man to feel superior or something?
Then when there’s a kid, that really seals the deal. My mother, of all people, warned me about that one.
Maybe he has money.
Might be an old picture. They were “in” 15 years ago.
That’s most kids period, these days.
Run.
You nailed it. Don’t fucking get married. Not in this current society.
There are some really good cookbooks about cooking for one.
Sounds like it already isn’t working. He means “until she leaves.”
Hindsight.
My thought exactly!!
These Latinas will hang in there like refugees clinging to the last life raft. Tread very carefully.
Wise. My friend got engaged to this dude who I knew was a first class verbally abusive asshole. I asked her this question, “how does his father treat his mother”. My friend gave me the unfortunate answer and I responded, “that will be your life”. She dumped him.
Try buying half of a good quality prepared meal and then just make the other half.
Fuck that. Then what’s the benefit, if it’s work? Fight for the woman who’s continually becoming less attractive and more bitchy? Act like a clown for the rest of your life to keep her interested, when we can pick up younger hotter girls with half the routine?
Hahaha
Exactly bro. American women are stuffing their faces committing sexual suicide just to prove they can.
I had an abusive man hating feminist mom, and an awesome dad. Today, Both my sisters are man hating feminists, and treat our parents like shit, even tho my dad was great to them. Marriage and family is over for the straight man in America.
They only way I can think of beating this fucked up culture is marrying some native indigenous or super religious, traditional woman from a small third world country, and raising the kids on a reservation somewhere.
…that is after you’ve crushed at least 200 chicks and turned 55
Typically That scenario creates a lot of betas. At some point you have to compromise, instead of holding your ground. My family was together long enough for me to see that women can not have control.
They will ruin everything for everyone just to see if they can.
Exactly. Every girl in SoCal hates her dad and is estranged from her family. Upon further questioning they usually reveal how awful their suburban life was.
On the contrary, a girl who’s close with her family always makes a great lover. Maybe because she understands her role as a woman.
If she had other positive male role models, her mother was a traditional example, and she understands her role in a relationship, You’re prob alright.
…but I’d keep her away from American tv, shopping malls, and white girls from big cities. You don’t want her to get infected.
Your dad did the right thing. My dad divorced my mom when I was twelve. She went nuts and tormented us for 6 more years. Family is still in ruins 15 years later. Sisters hate each other and me and our parents. I’m close with him but that’s it.
Oh trust me, if I bring her here, her social life will consist of activities with fellow immigrants. There will be no television, no shopping other than groceries, and I will screen her girlfriends carefully.
I kind of buy that one but in my experience the best indicator of her relationship to you is the one with her father, mostly for the reason that women are bit bier as hey get older and who knows how her dad kept her mom in line. Ive seem some worthless moms try to sabatoge a good daughter with a strong relationship with her dad. With moms I’ll take it under advisement, in terms of their relationship with their fathers though, if they don’t respect him then that’s it.
What I would reply: ” *deep sigh* *profound thinking* *gaze into her eyes* Frankly speaking, if I were unemployed and living with Mama, would you go out with me?”
That’s logic to an emotional question. Just say career and that you married her mostly for her looks and that she better be a good trophy wife. Say it with a wink and a smile.
Should have jawed her, picked her cellphone up from her incapacitated body and called her sister. A little extreme but, ya know
Instant shit test resolution. That, in western medicine, is called “treating the source” versus treating the symtom. Lol jk
Hahahaha yes
Direct, physical, unmistakable communication of your answer and intent.
Say what she wants she can never say you weren’t clear
Exactly. It’s true “communication”. Heh.
She could mumble through her jaw wired when her friends ask why she stays “he is a good communicator”
He really knows how to get those primal cave man tingles out of dormancy.
“What’s more important, me or your career?”
If I say “you” then my career goes to the wayside and we get to be poor, and then you get mad and leave. If I say “my career” you immediately get mad and leave. How about, in the future, we don’t indulge in pointless questions with no good outcome? Or is that your thing, now?
In reality a girl asking that probably isn’t getting laid out on the ol’ workbench enough and doesn’t feel the connection. Not fronting for the chicks here, but you can in fact (in a marriage) pay too little attention to the woman. Sometimes it’s necessary, but if it becomes habitual, it can become a problem and, likely, rightly so. Take her to dinner a couple of times a month, fuck her brains out with regularity, bring home some flowers now and then, the question then goes away.
Good point, true for most women. But in her case, she was a narcissist, which I didn’t know at the time. With the benefit of hindsight, I now see that she was trying to use me for narcissistic supply.
All this happened eight years ago. ROK has helped me fill in the cracks. Today, she’d be a fuckbuddy and nothing more. I’m here trying to pay it forward so that 25 yr/olds don’t make the same mistake. If we deny women the commitment they yearn for, their behavior might change, at least for the next generation, the boys and girls who are 10 years old right now.
To all: KNOW the flags of narcissism (and BPD). They are spectrums of course, but if you see more than 3 factors displayed, run. Fast. Do not walk. Do not look back. PS: They can be positive indicators for fun/flings (as long as not 5+ present) since those will tend to be the more “fun” women, but are serious no’s for a LTR. I will allow you one guess on where i got this valuable information.
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Yes…GOJ you’re right . If you become a lazy slug and don’t keep things interesting ( do all the things you mention) she will leave you or shit test you to death. On the other hand a women should not make you her performing monkey or Roosh’s term your CLOWN. We should not be a chick’s entertainment and social director either…
No question, correct. But doing things with here now and then, and throwing your dick inside her frequently isn’t a bad thing. If you marry her you should probably at least enjoy spending some time with her.
That’s why it’s measured and on your terms.
Ultimatums are a tool of the powerless.
They are also a very effective way for a busy man to cut through a lot of wasted time and bullshit. Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Yes, but giving someone a choice of your way or else is the strategy of a person with no other tricks in their bag. Shows your hand instantly
I do see your point. I’ve become impatient over the years, plus due to my profession, I am good at reading people quickly. I guess I just prefer to cut through the predictable bullshit.
Like A Boss…
Right, your career thats giving her the good life, and she has no concept of appreciating it. Perhaps the correct response should have been “can’t you see im busy, you’re acting like an ungrateful spoiled brat, this career puts food on our table and allows us to afford the life we have, we will talk more about it when im finished typing, until then get out of my sight until i cool down”……her in about 15 min after storming out and swearing you off…”hey, i just wanted to let you know i’m sorry”
She was constitutionally incapable for apologizing for anything. I once asked her, “Can you say the words ‘I’m sorry?’ Can your mouth form the words?” She didn’t answer me and left the room.
Some are like that.
Just an interjection– I don’t get how men nowadays put up with a woman swearing at him in his own house. Granted, in a marriage there’s little you can do in terms of throwing her out. In any relationship I’ve been in, the moment she starts dropping F bombs, it’s immediate grounds for throwing her out on her ass.
There is nothing more disrespectful than a woman to think she has a right to degrade a man in his own house, on the furniture he bought, after the dinner he bought. The threshold for that kind of disrespect needs to be established early on.
I let her drop a lot of f bombs when she’s on my furniture, on her back.
Or belly. 😈
With some, the variant response “where did that come from?” can be valuable. Find the root insecurity and snub it out.
Remember that few people know how to ask the right question. When I studied hypnosis, I was surprised to learn that a little thing buried deep within can lead to a massive change in someone’s life or outlook. In fact, it is a few very little things that separate the Left and the Right, if you dig deep enough.
The Socratic turnaround, yep, I use that sometimes.
“Do you think these jeans make me look fat?”
“Why do you ask that? Do you feel fat in them?”
The things you can avoid answering by posing a counter-question. Always a great tactic.
Women like hearing questions and pleasing others, men don’t like to be questioned and enjoy pleasing themselves and providing for their loyal. This all squares up pretty nicely once you can get in on your bench and open it up properly. Theres no reason to rush, but when one rushes they ruin their work (whatever it is) their moods change quickly, don’t rush, don’t evade, and don’t take it seriously. Hold fast in my experience.
Amen to that Rudi.
I was shrieked at. “You always answer a question with a question! Just like a fucking Jew! Are you? Are you a Jew?”
For the record, I’m not. I don’t see why it would matter if I were. Regardless, I nexted her two days later. Got threatened with a false rape and battering accusation. Thank God for saved emails, texts, and recordings.
“I only have one career, but there’s women everywhere.”
Women are like buses. There’ll be another along in ten minutes.
Those exact words were told to me by a good friend of mine, of Sicilian decent, long ago in the army. He said his father told him that one.
If you have any ambition in life you’ll never keep a woman around unless shes 50+ …. they are just too needy bitchy demanding and lost in their own petty minded world…… whats more is that no#1 in this article is idealistic garbage – the shit tests never stop they just forever amp it up until you leave them ….. shit tests are not her testing you…. they are her trying to break the relationship so she can go and get new cock….. thus mathematically they only stop when that goal is attained.
She’ll either rip you to shreds until she has a reason to leave or make you leave her…
This is absolutely true, brother, though there are a few exceptions. My sister is totally supportive of her guy. I was joking last weekend that I should be a hillbilly because I’m looking to find a woman like my sister lol.
What’s the longest you’ve been in a relationship? Serious question. I’m heading quickly towards the 25 year anniversary, with a few years dating beforehand. Nothing like what you’re saying, at all.
The article makes it sound like shit tests are to be welcomed and will make you stronger. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. I have a strong dislike for negative attitudes and for anyone who would repeatedly question and doubt my abilities. Repeated shit tests are to be terminated. If my relationship partner doubts my abilities to that extent, it’s time for a new partner. You will encounter occasional shit tests, but they should not be on a never ending basis.
Her: “What’s more important, me or your career?”
You: “Sure, I’d love a beer!”
*two thumbs up*
Two months after the wedding she should have already been pregnant If not you wasted your time getting married in the first place.
You should have asked which one is harder living poor or living without me ?
Not that its gonna solve the issue but a point of view .
Had you said “my career” she woulda thrown a fit , stormed off and fucked your brains out later that night. Women are inscrutable…
As I wrote elsewhere, I didn’t know at the time that she was a narcissist looking for her supply of admiration. The normal rules may not have applied.
They wouldn’t.
The correct answer is “God”. If you had said this, you probably would be with both your career and your wife.
All personal purpose, relationships and material ambition are merely vanity without God.
It is not about frame, it is about trolling women. Never answer their shit test in a logical fashion, never directly answer her questions at all. Just troll them and always end with a question addressed to her. Examples:
Q: “What’s more important, me or your career?”
A: I think the world peace is the most important matter in the world today and I am sure you’ll agree and join me in a naked protest in front of the Churchill statue. You want world peace, don’t you?
Q: Why did you hire this cute waitress, you want to sleep with her, don’t you?
A: Did I tell you that today a client came in and said: You don’t know how lucky you are to have me Jesus Christ in your bar? What do you think the little cute waitress said to him?
Q: We never talk.
A: When I was in the army we played a game. It was called “Catch the mosquito”. Buzzzzzz. Btw, I’ve never asked you. Were you in the army too?
Q: We need to talk.
A: Last week, I said that to guy who didn’t pay his bill and in the end of our conversation he wanted to charge me. He said he was a shrink. Can you believe it?
You get the gist. Women like chit-chatting and regardless of the apparent nonsense you say, they will have forgotten about their shit test in end of your trolling. Your ability to spit random words puts you in higher estimation in her book.
Like taking dating advice from a container of sour milk
It’s like treating dehydration with Mexican tap water.
That may work but that conversation is less likely to occur. It’s too consistent to ever leave a woman’s mouth. First question? Yeah, sure, they’re more likely to deviate from it and open a whole new Pandora’s box full of shit you don’t remember.
wont work. they’ll get more and more pissed and get more annoying and more annoying and eventually you wont be in the mood to troll, but fuckin slap the shit out of her. and obvi that wont do any good in 2016
Great post. Not enough good things can be said about David Deida and his work The Ways of The Superior Man. I read it every so often when I feel I am off in intention or acting in a way not in accordance with my main goals. Can’t say enough good things about this one book.
“We have no great war, no impending doom”
Yes we do. The great war is against leftism and its cousins atheism, consumerism, feminism, etc.
Not visible to the naked eye.
Which immediately begs the question: You can buy eye clothing?
If you fight this war right, you can do it on the cheap. Sell yourself as a traditional man who has a vision of frugal virtue, and you can stop your wife and children from wasting money on expensive clothing and accessories. You have more money and time left over for her to raise children with, and the child will take up the energy she would have otherwise wasted on silly modern frivolities. In this way, victory is manifest.
Amazing. Just amazing. Thank you John.
I’ve read the Way of the Superior man before but interestingly for me, the language style was a bit of a obstacle. It’s simply a little too flowery for my taste, but I do recognize that it contains much wisdom on matters of interest.
Really liked the article, very nice job. However, I have a different perspective to add to the mix here.
If I were to swallow the shit-test notions outlined by David Deida in his book, I would have to fully embrace the notion that all women are somehow magically superior to me in a far-flung, all-seeing, all-knowing, omniscient sense. I would also have to believe that they have nothing but my best interests at heart, in everything that I might do. And I’d also have to believe that passing their shit tests will magically change their very nature. (Which would be like teaching a Chihuahua how to be a pointer, or a Dachshund how to herd sheep.) And I believe none of those things about women.
I believe shit tests are the result of a woman’s innate desire to subconsciously, or consciously, destroy everything around them – most especially the very qualities that attracted them to the men they date in the first place. To me personally, it is amply evident that women are just unhappy by nature. And they wish to make all people around them, especially men, as unhappy as they are – if not more so. True, by holding frame and rebuffing their shit tests, I might make them more compliant. But the energy I would expend in the process of doing so, makes the endeavor pointless for me personally, not to mention self-destructive. Because no matter how many tests I might pass, they will still want to see me fall on a very basic, animalistic, pre-programmed level. They want to “win”. To them, winning means destroying people so that they might keep their masks in place, so that they are never discovered…
So I follow one very simple rule – instill the fear of god into them if you are dumb enough to bring them under your roof. I tell them that I only have one rule. And this is it – if they ever bring trouble to my door, I will teach them the waking, screaming definition of that word. And ever since I have been doing this (the last 25 years or so), I have not gotten one shit test from a woman. And for me this is perfect, because it suits my self-absorbed lifestyle (accomplishing personal goals) and I don’t believe in LTR unicorns anyway, and I don’t care if a woman eventually leaves me, because I am likely to do the same to her…
If a man truly believes that a woman will fully embrace him, flood his world with light and love, and do all of the things that he ardently wants her to do of her own volition, simply by passing her endless shit tests…well, to me this is sheer folly, because that man is living in a dream world which will eventually implode on him. Because that’s not what women are all about; that’s not how they think and that’s not what they want to do for any man. They want to see him fall; they want to destroy everything, due to being terminally masochistic. And they know that this is true, down deep. By laying out this one simple rule, you make them realize that you know it better than they do. And this generates instant respect. And they crumble in front of it, if they want your action. To me, you will be playing right into their hands if you follow the shit-test recipe suggested by Mr. Deida.
Well said.
Point 1 is a bit presumptious that it drives a man to be better….”a woman’s shit tests are actually one of her greatest gifts to you, as a man.”
I see it more as a woman undermining you as a passive-agressive response to results or actions she simply doesn’t understand, control or could achieve on her own.
Agreed. They know they are fucked-up beyond salvation. So give them no options if you feel they are suitable for a relationship (however long it may last). Many will find this hard to believe, but I still have women trying to find me, many years later, after I split from them, just because I used this one simple rule. Yes, they are little children. Treat them as such and prosper.
Or, like a 2 year old, give them a this or that choice. If they waffle, make the choice for them. Even children can learn.
Excellent point, sir…
Like a child. I’m sensing the common theme, here.
Outstanding comment.
The female desire to destroy everything has never been more evident than today, watching what they are trying to do to Europe and the West. They just want everything to burn down, because like you said they are masochistic, unhappy, and too stubborn to embrace the one thing that would make them happy – subservience to a worthy man.
I haven’t read the Deida book, because the excerpts always sounded a little too hippy-dippy for me. It sounds like a romanticized version of reality.
But I know this – you cannot placate a woman by passing her shit tests UNLESS you are also several points above her in SMV. So the only way a man wins, is by purposely losing (dating beneath his value). Hypergamy rules all.
Interesting. “Hypergamy rules all.” You know, I’ve made a lot of mistakes, as all men do. But as I age, I have begun to realize that selecting a woman based on a lower SMV is a smart play. Case in point, when I was younger and banging everything that moved (so long as it was “hot enough”, in my naive mind), a girl who was much younger and grew up around me, while we were children, came out of the left field and proclaimed her unending love for me, which had first hit her at the age of nine. She was 18 when she told me this, and I was 22. Not considering her to have an equivalent SMV, I politely tried to assuage her misplaced feelings. Now she is a doctor with the Mayo Clinic. And she still feels the same way about me, decades later. I have recently come to the conclusion that being with a woman who truly loves you, from afar, with a lower SMV, is pure gold. She is way less likely to disrupt your life, because she will have gotten what she always wanted and is more likely to watch your back. With that being said, they’re still all crazy, and self-destructive. They still want to see you fall. But if a man wants an LTR unicorn, nothing beats selecting a woman in this category. And virtually every man has a woman in his past, in a similar vein. So all you young dudes out there, consider this one, if you want marriage, family, and all the trimmings…it’s better to be loved than to love somebody else. You can always grow to love a woman. But you’d better make sure she proves her love before you do so, and always sleep with one eye open…
I’ve never believed in “leagues” or that some girl is of higher SMV than I am. For a man, SMV relies heavily on confidence and attitude. A 9 to another man, to me, is just another broad. Once she picks up your vibe, she’ll keep the looks but adopt the submissive attitude. At least in my experience.
I agree with you – now. When I was younger, I didn’t have a clue. Which was why I suggested taking the hypogamic approach (dating down, versus hypergamic, dating up) to all young dudes. These days it doesn’t matter to me, as I have a totally different outlook – just like you. But I think many of us older guys already know this shit, GOJ…the younger ones, they might need a little advice now and again (even though I know that most won’t take it, just like I wouldn’t have taken it, at their age). But we all pay for our education, one way or another. That’s a law.
You’ll love this. My son, who is a monster in the gym, a lacrosse defense player AND a college mechanical engineering major, told me this last June when I asked him about three 7.5’s who approached him on the beach during vacation at Panama City, Fl, “Dad, I don’t have time for anything less than an 8”. The kid snags 8’s like candy from a baby. I said “But son, what if it’s away from everybody you know, and you know, you got a 7 who is ready, willing, able and you’ll never see her again”.
“I got my pride, dad.”
*high five*
I have spent my adult life raising an alpha son and traditional daughter. It’s all I can do to thwart the tide of Leftism. My son, now a man, fills me with pride like you would not believe. And he dominates his “competition” without lifting a finger most of the time.
It’s akin to how I was raised by my alpha dad (fighter pilot) and uncles (biker and backwoods mountainman hunter and former Marine infantry). Hopefully the seeds planted now pay off in the future.
Think globally, act locally. Let’s use the Left’s tactics against them. Outbreed those fuckers and leave them in the dust.
You were right, GOJ – I loved this one…and I use that exact phrase a lot myself – “Think globally, act locally.” So true.
The thing about male youth (among myriad other such issues), is you’re constantly under the raging impulse to fuck, fuck, fuck. And most guys are raised to think it’s cool to fuck anything, pretty much. Which you and I both know is poison. You have to be discerning, or you’re going to pay a much higher price after the fact.
Good on you for raising such a fine son. You should take enormous pride in that alone, and in all of his accomplishments both now and in the future. Because your parenting has definitely shaped what he is today. And he’ll be loyal to you to the bitter end, too. Not like today’s single-mother kids. As soon as their parents hit the wall, those kids will have long turned their backs on most of them…
Developing solid game benefits a man in so very many ways – the most important of which, I think, is confidence. When he knows he can score the best-looking girl in the room, he knows he can do just about anything in life…and he can, of course. He only has to first learn that he can take what he wants in just one arena of life, and transfer it to another.
Warmed my heart just reading this one. Yessir it truly did…thanks for sharing, amigo.
From your lips to God’s ears.
You’ve just depleted the cringe reserves for the next week.
Yeah, those traditional families with standards are so creepy.
yep. my fiance (or should i say EX) just sabotaged our engagement for no apparent reason, after putting the engagement on FB and instagram right after it happened. meanwhile, i never announced it on any soc-med channel. yet she was the one to break it off. the only thing to understand abt women is that you shouldnt try to understand them.
When they have a good thing going, they freak out and rush to destroy it. They absolutely love being miserable and having things to whine about.
Mine tried to sabotage the wedding two weeks beforehand. Then she acted like a tiger in a cage for at least six months afterwards–fights, fights, fights. Run. Count yourself blessed.
amazing how someone u invest 3 yrs of your life for (and i mean reeeeally invest) , u can one day drop like a fly and from the phone no less , never to speak again. wont ever understand how a person can be that heartless
sorry to hear about yours as well but like you said – blessing in disguise.
treat em like dirt, they stick to you like mud. with this one i treated her like a queen. and i got what i deserved as a result. lesson learned
It’s actually the drama it creates. That’s the true craving.
I agreed with you until the last paragraph. If you marry a 9 (or 10, although I married a 9) and you age together, she loses SMV naturally and you gain it naturally (if you stay in shape). It works out quite well, once you get past the stupid “young dumb love” part (stupid in the sense of not knowing what to do, where you’re basically fucking 24/7 and hoping it never ends).
You and I started out on the wrong foot. You’re making some really solid comments the last couple of days, so, well, kudos.
Thanks. I’ve always respected your opinions even though I haven’t always acted like it. I apologize for the insults. But anyway, you are probably lucky. I’m guessing you met your wife a good number of years ago. It seems nearly impossible for a decent White kid to get a faithful 9 to marry him these days. I have a brother who is much younger than me. Good looking kid. Smart, thoughtful. Not a chance in hell he will ever be with a woman who matches his SMV. It’s just a terrible landscape nowadays. Myself, I have always been happier with women who were pretty but not knockouts.
Sometimes I think GOJ is a sage. Sometimes, I think he’s full of shit. We’re all imperfect. I do know that I am always better off from having had the debate.
I agree.. the “women are helping you by giving you shit tests” part struck me as complete fiction. For one, complete strangers will give you shit tests immediately upon meeting you. Are these just kind fellow travelers in our life journey that are there to help us on our path? Or are they just some entitled smug drunk bitches in a bar? I vote for the latter.
To me personally, it is amply evident that women are just unhappy by nature. And they wish to make all people around them, especially men, as unhappy as they are – if not more so.
THIS.
Know thine enemy. Putting lipstick on a pig is for betas. IMHO.
They get mad when you don’t do as they ask. They will get more mad at you later if you do what they ask.
So much wisdom in what you just said.
I dunno man. I had a shit test thrown at me tonight that I turned her around on and she ended up doing what I wanted. We ended up sitting together and I got a back rub as she cheerfully chirped away about her day. Life isn’t as dire as it may seem sometimes.
They aren’t trying to make you stronger by continuous shit testing, they are trying to tear you down. It doesn’t make you stronger when someone who is suppose to support you is questioning your abilities on an ongoing basis.
If you subject yourself to a constant barrage of shit tests, your confidence level will usually decline over time due to the constant questioning and doubt regarding your own abilities. I need support from my partner, not someone who is going to doubt my abilities on an ongoing basis. If she doubts my abilities to that extent, she is obviously with the wrong person and it’s time to move on. She can then search for her perfect Prince Charming (good luck with that since she will soon be unhappy again). I do not agree with the article which makes it sound like shit tests are to be welcomed since it makes you stronger since I feel that it actually makes one weaker when your support network is continuously doubting you.
After five years of continuous shit-testing, the marriage as you knew it is dead. You can’t have the same feelings towards her as you used to. Women destroy the thing they love.
Biggest surprise of my whole divorce: How happy I felt after she moved out.
And some of us don’t want to have to work that hard. Especially when we get a little older. I like my life. I try hard to keep it mostly drama free.
Some good advise in his writing. The part about shit tests isn’t some of it.
I used to do house-to-house computer and electronics repair / installation stuff freelance. It was all word of mouth. I did a job for this old Italian lawyer and his wife. They would constantly interrupt each other and tell each other to “shut up, I’m talking to Spicy.” It wasn’t said in a hateful way, just a.. frustrated way, if that makes sense. At the time I found it humorous, although it was quite jarring.
I think the end result of a woman shit testing you for a lifetime is that you develop a level of bitterness that you treat each other this way at the end.
A woman is doing you no favors by shit testing you. I personally find it disgusting. I will pass a few of them easily, but if she persists, she is gone.
Virtually all super-old couples I’ve met are either like this, or they’re like my grandparents, where my Grandma does 90% of the talking, and my Grandfather only speaks when he has something important to say, or to put her in her place.
Another reason I won’t consider marriage until at least 40. Hold off as long as you can, and maybe you have a chance of preserving your sanity and a healthy love for each other.
My ex had two such bickering parents. I always thought, “Why does he put up with it.” Just tell her you have a shovel and you know how to dig a hole and bury her in it, in the beginning of the “relationship”. Much easier. Way more efficient.
There are couples who have been married for +50 years with multiple grandchildren in my neck of the woods and most would assume their “love” kept them together all these years. From my observation they simply have found a way to tolerate each other and finally accept their spouses as they come.
That’s all anybody can do. “Love” in the sense of eros is fleeting and temporary. Marital “love” that allows long term, really long term, marriages involves a mixture of many of the other kinds of love as well as no small amount of learning diplomacy combined with always keeping frame. If you’re not a natural in this day and age, it’s a tough row to hoe.
I think that you’re touching on something very important. Insecurity, emotional anyways is a curse to women. If they can’t feel secure and get on your team after they’ve tested you out then they’re the type that will never stop bitching and provoking and testing because they are damaged. They simply can not respect and love a man, it will never end with some.
I don’t think that’s the only outcome Spicy. In a few weeks I’ll be with Mrs. OfJefferson for 25 years. We’ve had our issues, but came out on the other end without seething hatred. Truces were made, agreements and arrangements created and end of the day, life ain’t too fucking bad.
I can be quite cynical, but I don’t mean that is how all marriages end up. I mean that is how living 40 years with shit tests ends up.
Fear can be a dirty crackwhore, or a beautiful Latina. Depending on how often you’re willing to dance with her.
I just started reading this good…very good.
I love your articles man. I never read Deida, but I saw his books on Amazon and they striked me as very positive masculine material. Makes sense that you would pick that stuff up.
Some good ideas in the article with the exception of the woman doing you a favor by shit testing you. Who needs it? Seriously. For a short fling, OK if she is hot enough for you to put up with it. But, in the long-term? Do you really want a woman doing this? Fast forward to when she is middle-aged. 10 or 20 years later, you still want her shit testing you? You want to come home after a hard day’s work and instead of loving support, you get shit tested? No thanks.
Good point though on: You. Must. Not. Make. A. Woman. Your. Purpose.
I see that as a major problem with white western men. By the time they are middle-aged they are content to just have a woman in their life and let her manage their relationship and social life. You become like the house dog. And older men are even worse. Give them a younger wife and they won’t ask for anything else.
I think hat the point of the shit testing is for her to check if you’re 100 proof which, I can understand. Within a healthy woman though you gain her respect and thus her trust and you just move on. Personally I would even deal with a woman with either no need to shit test nor the switch to turn it off.
They aren’t doing you any favors and they aren’t trying to make you stronger with continuous shit testing. They are trying to break your frame and break you down if you play their game. I don’t want anyone on my team who isn’t going to support me. Continuous shit testing means its time for her to find her next Prince Charming and time for you to say adios. She’ll do the same thing to her next Prince Charming. Don’t LTR anyone with continuous shit testing character flaw.
This…
Guy on top of a hill with “awms whad oupahn” “finding himself” = NO.
Love Deidas books but after I bust my nut the shit tests are annoying as fuck…Much better to deal with them when I’m filled up with baby batter and want to fuck bad…
Do you know what genuinely masculine men DON’T do? Mentally masturbate over or over intellectualise masculinity like this silly wanker.
Alot of red flags popped up through reading this article, so I thought I’d– AHA! Just as I thought. A gay faced Jew!
I find all those artircles hilarious. Full of false wisdom by young men who know nothing about spirituality or the world, yet keep parroting things they don’t understand, and violate the very same principles they preach.
For example, take your last quote, about not making a woman your purpose. Most of the authors and readers here on ROK, do this very thing. They care so much about women, and feminism, and understanding women, and conquering women, and keeping women. You are obsessed. Think about it for a second.
Also, you people promote a weak beta point of view as some kind of masculine thing. For example, take the first quote. You preach that it is acceptable for women to treat you bad and “shit test you”, and that you should accept this behaviour because it is the masculine thing to do, it is “a test” to pass. But by preaching this, you actually undermine your masculinity, you elevate females to a pedestal of master-status (after all, only a master of a thing can test it).
In reality, this behaviour is unacceptable, and we should hold women to a higher standard. Shit tests are poor behaviour, and we should demand it to stop, period. If men were REAL MEN, women wouldn’t have the audacity to shit test anybody. You clowns embrace your transformation into beta faux-alphas and think this is an achievement, and you make articles about it.
You do make a valid point about obsessing over women and shit tests being inexcusable, bad behavior. At the first shit test, I warn her to behave. If she continues, I walk. If she begs for a second chance, she gets ONE. The next shit test, I make her aware she’s doing it again. If she persists, it’s sayonara.
Also a good argument for having a couple in the pipeline at any given time, that you are prepping.
What to you expect? This site is run by some old pervert who still thinks he can snag a 20 year old virgin girl. Top rated commentators are bored, washed out keyboard warriors with much too much time on their hands, believing they are masculinity incarnated, lol.
” Why do you think that depression is such a widespread disease among so many modern men? It’s because they lack a strong sense of purpose.”
Nailed it.
Nice to see some consensus in the comments, most of which I agree with.
You. Must. Not. Make. A. Woman. Your. Purpose.
Agree completely with this. Best piece of advice to any young man.
But the concept that shit tests are one of her greatest gifts…sheer nonsense. It’s contradictory. If a woman is not our purpose, is low priority (as she should be) and is easily replaced (she is), we shouldn’t be caring about her idiotic shit tests.
Yes, she wants a strong man, but shit tests aren’t needed to determine that. How you handle yourself among others can give her the clues she is looking for.
When a woman tries to pull that crap, I firmly tell her to never talk/act that way to me again. Most get the hint, and if they don’t, who cares. She’s not my purpose…
I can’t tell you how many girlfriends from my past have asked: “When are you going to give up playing guitar and get serious and settle down?”
Well, other than being married for 3 years (to the one woman who never issued that ultimatum mind you), I’m still a bachelor, I play my guitars every day, and I’m better than ever at it and getting better every day.
#1 sounds like a beta making excuses for why he’s in the dog house.
I don’t want to fight the world in business, then come home and be shit tested by “my woman.” Fuck that. I’ve spent decades on personal development and have more skills and talents than the average renaissance man. What woman deserves to administor tests to me? Does her intimate knowledge of reality tv shows and Instagram equate to the level I’m on? As far as I’m concerned she has a role to fill. Support me or gtfu.