In today’s society, there is no longer much of a grey area regarding the gap between good and bad leaders. As a young military officer, this fact has been apparent since my enlistment, particularly in the armed forces, but it wasn’t not until recently when I began undertaking an MBA program within a civilian university that I realized how critical the disparity between the two had become in most organizations and why the lack of discipline in men’s lives today has caused such a shift of power from strong, alpha leaders to weak, beta managers delegating all important tasks to avoid making tough decisions.
In our first course regarding Leadership Theory, I was matched up with men and women from various industries, be they defense, agriculture, production, or entertainment. What I found as a common theme in their opinions regarding leadership was that the important piece was always to save face and take the path of least resistance in order to resolve conflicts as smoothly as possible, thus avoiding any potential collateral damage of any kind.
During these discussions, I wrongfully held my tongue, thinking of how the whole premise of leadership is to cut against the grain and push subordinates and followers to their limits in favour of achieving whatever goals you, they, and the organization have set.
1. Refine your emotional intelligence
Through readings of American organizational theorist Richard Daft’s The Leadership Experience, the course textbook for this class, the concept of emotional intelligence was introduced, which is essentially a concept describing one’s ability to recognize our own emotions and those of others, as well as how to use it in favour of progression in organizations. It was at this point that I began piecing together what was occurring in these men’s live to cause them to be so cowardly faced with decisions deciding the fate of their and their organizations’ futures.
Emotional intelligence is divided into four basic components: self-awareness, social awareness, self-management, and relationship management. This concept has been mentioned in many articles prior to this one and training the four components leads more wholesome leadership, but also to better game, more happiness and overall better control of one’s life.
Emotional intelligence is developed easily at an individual level—it just takes actual awareness and will to do so. For social awareness, read the news more. Take in your surroundings for your particular community. This will then enable you to reach out and work on relationship management by getting out to community events, not to mention the higher quality women you’ll meet who also want to share in quantitative social events other than drinking at clubs.
2. Learn to respond rather than react
It is without a doubt the element of self-management that is essential to effective leadership and what is currently beginning to lack in this generation of male leaders. Bending to the will of others simply to “stay the course” and “not rock the boat” is what is beginning to crumble the foundations of what was once a great society. It is therefore crucial we learn to respond rather than react when faced with any and all situations.
Where reacting is using one’s intuition and emotions to answer a situation, responding is using rationality and logic. Although many situations can be overcome by reaction, for example an ambush on a position, due to prior knowledge, practice and drive, complex situations generally require forethought and analysis which is only available by activating the part of the brain that uses logic and rationality. Self-management of one’s emotions through discipline may be the difference in making the decision that goes against one’s instinct but is safer and more prosperous in the long run.
To further my example of an ambush, it is instinct and tactical to fight through the ambush, particularly with a larger force, however in certain positions pursuing enemy forces may be part of a feint leading into an enemy kill-zone. Only through the use of rational analysis can one potentially determine that it is safer to cut losses and withdraw than push through the terrain. This can also be mirrored to the business realm where great investors are known for that “killer instinct” or knowing when to back off a stock. One must be able to decide based on rationality, not emotion, yet always remaining aware of the emotions in play.
Working on self-management is a little harder than other components, but can be done by simply taking a pause before making decisions and actually evaluating the options for the course of action you are about to take. At first, this will take a moment or two, but as you work on this, it will become second nature. Try using this approach for all decisions, be they what you’re going to have for a meal to where you’re planning your next foreign expedition.
3. Instill discipline in your life
It is self-management through discipline by which the other components of emotional intelligence are driven. It is key to not only establish a routine in your life, but to stick to it. Great leaders are creatures of consistency and habit. If you want to know where to find the greatest military leaders I have met so far, then you need look no farther than the gym at 0600 hrs each morning.
They devote their lives to habit and what is right, and part of that, particularly in the military, is being physically fit which has been shown countless times to boost all other areas of life. There are countless articles out there (particularly on ROK) that can be the foundation for your new journey towards fitness. So start that today.
But discipline is more than just working out every day. It is a lifestyle you must adopt in all facets of your life. This means cutting toxic people out of your life for good, and not seeking their help when you’re feeling lonely or the going gets tough. It means establishing a healthy, hearty routine into your life and following it, regardless of what others think. It means not answering the trolls on social media or getting that cheeseburger for dinner instead of cooking your own meals. Discipline is a simple concept to enact, but it is by far the hardest of all to develop and master.
Where to go from here
In conclusion, it is clear that to succeed moving forward as male leaders, emotional intelligence, responsiveness and discipline is key. We must return to the days of self-management and self-control that allowed our forefathers to create strong family units as well as lead our nations to great endeavors. It is this concept that we must continually work on, day in and day out, to become not only better leaders, but also better men.
On your individual level, you must start small. Do it right now by picking up a newspaper or going to your local gym. But you must not let any more opportunities pass you by. The key to becoming a leader is to actually lead, and that starts with taking the initiative to do so.
Read More: Why Being A Loner Makes You A Great Leader
Three Cs of leadership: Competence, Confidence, and Communication. They’re all equally important and if any one of those abilities is missing and you’ll have issues.
You can’t learn to be a good leader, you either are or you aren’t.
John,
Although I do agree that leadership is an inherent piece in terms of foundational skills, I do believe that there is something to be learned for everyone in terms of leadership.
Just because you don’t lead a battalion of troops doesn’t mean you can’t become a better leader in say your household or even your own social circle.
Regarding your 3 Cs, I agree with the order in that their cannot be “confidence” without competence / accomplishment. So many times I have read here and on other sites that males need to project confidence. But confidence without anything to back it up makes one look like nothing but an obnoxious jerk. Ray Romano had a great line on his TV show: “Every jerk I ever met was self confident”.
I’m not the most confident person in the world. Far from it. I prefer to focus on doing the best job possible given the task at hand, be as correct and efficient as I can be, and help out junior people (or senior people) when they ask or show interest. Not sure if that is considered “confident”, but that’s how I do things.
Obviously we all have unique strengths and styles of leadership. However, if any of the Cs are too weak and no one else covers up for the boss, it ends poorly for everyone involved. I’ve had bosses that were deficient in each individual category and they all are disastrous, but for difference reasons. A boss lacking confidence will be very indecisive when immediate decisions are required. Incompetence usually leads to poor decisions and micromanaging to compensate. Lack of proper communication ends in confusion for the subordinates and often lack of delegation for required tasks.
Hello everyone,
I’m begging for some spare change for a one-way train ticket out of the Toronto area. I can’t stand these women here anymore. I hate women in Toronto. I hate antifa Toronto and I hate BLM and their alliance with the gay community at the 519 in Church & Wellesley Gay Village in Toronto.
I took advice from the forum to apply for Warehouse jobs, but they only want to hire immigrants and women. Yes you heard me—-Warehouses prefer women to do jobs requiring standing up for 8 hours and lifting at least 40lbs.
Fuck Toronto and it’s gay ass sjw city. I need to get out of here FAST!
(((Einwitz))) is it that dire in Toronto that men don’t have any ca$h to even take a train ride out of the city???!!!!!
And why the fuck would a warehouse, I’m assuming General Labor jobs, would prioritize hiring some fat twat over a masculine (((man))) for tedious and physical work at a poorly climate controlled dusty warehouse? It doesn’t make any sense, but since you mentioned Toronto I’m not one bit surprised at that pandering to women.
I have extra to give you, but I have to make sure that it’s for your train ticket rather than opiates or some harmful shit.
Get a grip (of yourself and local talent).
Excellent article. ROK should feature more like this. Information like this is what men really need to know AND do.
Another part of leadership is setting being an example. For instance, you mentioned being at the gym at 0600. And cutting out toxic people from your life.
I want to add sharing the hardship with your troops. For example, when I recently worked a real job, rain was hard and cold. Everyone else there would leave our hardest worker to himself to work in that. I worked more in that than he did. He insisted a few times that I didn’t have to. But I did anyway.
He is in the reserve of a branch of US military. When our task was complete, which took an hour, cold and rain the entire time, I was soaked.
Basically, I told him that he can see the piss-poor quality of so-called leadership in the civilian world. Having been in the military myself, I testify that leadership there, for the most part, is lacking.
So!
What’s the big deal about working in the rain?
Share the hardship.
If you’re not going to do it, do not tell or ask anybody else to do it.
I have given that young man advise on life in general. Recently, he started accumulating “fuck you” money. Also, he opened an account with a traders.
Leadership is influence. It is setting an example. And it is mentorship.
Again, leadership is several things.
And it is something that is sorely lacking in the West today.
Great article.
Thanks for the vote of confidence Edward!
I definitely respect the idea of leading by example and leading by the front!
Look for more articles on those two pieces from me in the future when work / studies allow me more time!
Good article .. get rid of fake Troy Franco pua b.s.
There is a lot to be said for asceticism. There is also a lot to be said for maintaining an intelligent balance between following through on the right decisions even when others may not be happy with them, and not setting fire to your own clothes on the other hand. Depends on the environment and situation I suppose.
And speaking of intelligence: ‘Emotional intelligence’ is FEMININE INTELLECT (in so much as it exists, which is barely at all). Ascribing this BS concept to men is simply mainstream academia’s attempt (yet again) to undermine healthy masculine brain-workings. It’s as much horse sh*t as Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs crap.
Emotional intelligence is wisdom, or EQ (the proper application of one’s knowledge, or IQ). It has nothing to do with female biology, son. My advice to you is to read a book on the topic you wish to critique before doing so.
Nonsense. Wisdom is REASON. Reason is logic. Logic is the masculine brain. Emotion is the feminine.
Consider the possibility that books that introduce and promote certain subjects (such as Critical Theory, Psychoanalysis, and yes, ’emotional intelligence’) are NONSENSE, that they only exist because they provide a ‘theory’ that easily impresses the gullible (99.9% of Americans) and the naïve masses that make up the electorate/consumerist herd.
I’m not arguing my opinion about what I think wisdom is. The writer refers to emotional intelligence in terms of EQ. If you’re going to debate against that, familiarize yourself about what EQ means before doing so.
Troy,
I agree that a lot of today’s psychological and philosophical academia is essentially hack job money grabbing material.
However, what I attempt to convey in this article is the small steps we can take to have better control over ourselves before we can lead others.
An example I’ll use, is after my first car crash where I felt powerless and overwhelmed to the actions occurring, I took a defensive driving course through work and got some training on how to go through difficult driving scenarios. I find myself now more capable and almost as if things are “slower” when I am in critical driving situations or about to potentially have an accident. This is an example of responding rather than reacting and how, by making efforts and taking initiative, we can take control of situations and essentially handle them rather than letting them handle us.
I don’t understand how “masculinity” has anything to do with these tenets of leadership. The title should simply be “3 Ways to Become a Good Leader”. If anyone is to become a leader in anything that happens to be an area of their expertise (whether that be the CEO of a company, a commander to one’s platoon/battalion/flight , or to one’s own children), they should practice these tenets. You all would be smart to not overtly “gender” things that don’t have any in the English language. If I’m not mistaken, this site as a few female followers too, despite this site being for men. If you all truly wish to combat the cultural degeneracy that you all bemoan about, you’d be smart to not only preach it to half of those that make it up by implying that these truths have anything to do with “gender”, and thereby inferring that good character should only be expected of males. If any of you care about furthering your ideals for a better society, you’ll further them more wisely. Otherwise, you’re only preaching to yourselves and RoK is nothing more than what MGTOW is.
More nonsense. True superior quality leadership requires: ORGANISATIONAL SKILLS, DISCIPLINE, FORTHRIGHTNESS, DIPLOMACY, UNAMBIGUOUS COMMUNICATION, DEDICATION, CORRECT IDENTIFICATION OF QUALITY (OF PEOPLE AND OBJECTS, TANGIBLE & INTANGIBLE).
Men are by far the superiors in these attributes. Women, obviously, have their own feminine attributes that they – as women – excel at. But MANagement, when performed in the most superior manner, is truly a man’s role.
[You may note that the attributes required to be a exceptional leader are similar to many of those required to be a decent soldier.]
I’m convinced that you are illiterate, sir, as I made no implication that females make good leaders.
show me ANY female leaders who LED ANYONE through a a life or death crucible event…..you have none? thought so…..
Joan of Arc
Whilst masculinity might not be essential for the tenets of leadership. Better to be led by a competent woman leader than an incompetent male one. Much better to have a competent male leader. In the actual world masculinity is a major factor to whether a leader is good or not, more so if its military leadership. Women do not understand violence, either intellectually or emotionally. They usually only can express it as an emotional reaction, without really knowing what is going on. This leads to poor judgement and mistakes, that cost people their lives. How many times have you heard women say violence is never acceptable?
Even if they gain an intellectual understanding, they still have no practical real experience. Kind of like a female sports reporter telling you about your favourite male sport, despite the fact they have never played the sport themselves. I’d rather hear about it from a male ex pro sportsman who has had real experience. They instill confidence immediately, whilst a woman would need a very good, long track record to come anywhere close. Even then the fact that they never played, is going to linger in the backs of the minds of the followers. Not a good option.
Men grow up with violence from preschool onwards and have more experience, and are more likely to be able know when shit is going to go down, and what to do about it.
There are literally thousands of years of evolution behind this, genetics and learned behavior.
Female leader s emotions and world view are more likely going to get you in trouble.
When something doesn’t go according to their plan(which was probably unrealistic in the first place) they go into denial, instead of adapting to the reality of the situation. Think Angela Merkel and her feel good plan about saving all those poor muslims, by letting them flood into Europe. The road to Hell is indeed paved with good intentions.
Funny how soy boy / leso down voters never reply and actually try an refute an argument.
A good leader leads by example, inspires his men to follow his lead, knows when to take the reigns or delegate responsibility. He should also know how to manage the men under him, what motivates each individual member of his team so as to make best use of their skills and abilities. He should always take responsibility for his own decisions and stand up for his men when they make a mistake. He must earn respect, never demand or expect it by his position. He must maintain a certain distance from his men but not be so aloof his men cannot trust him.
SOXMIS
Concise, excellent definition and description of leadership. Well said.
TVM (ta very much)
Id like to give a final bit of advice to the author of this article. I got the sense from your writing that you’re a little more ‘me’ than ‘we’. I suggest as you start your career you observe the better SNCOs under your command, there’s no shame in learning from men who are masters at leading even if they are lower in scale than you.
SOXMIS,
I appreciate the comment. SNCOs, particularly the ones under my command, have been excellent to me and I like to think I’ve done my best to help them develop their own academic facets of the job just as they’ve helped me lead the troops and develop my technical expertise in my trade.
I agree that the article is more based on an individual level from my perspective than that of my team, and that was purposefully done. I truly believe that prior to being able to lead troops, one needs to be able to lead themselves first. You can’t lead men if you’re emotionally unstable or simply unfit to lead, that’s how people get killed (that aren’t the ones you’re looking to kill…) .
In future articles, I think I’ll expand on the importance of SNCOs and just men in general from prior generations that have the experience we lack so much in today’s society. Again, thank you for the incredibly valid point!
Edit: I misspelled my own name in my comment. Shit happens.
Another foolish article.
1- Masculinity is NOT related to emotional intelligence.
2- Being a Leader does not require anything other than the ability to maintain power
3- Most Leaders are jerks
4- Leadership is SEIZING power in the moment, NOT “responding”
5- TRUE Discipline and Leadership is inherent, it cannot be “learned”
Could you expand on your notion of ‘maintaining power’ ?
Anything can be ‘learnt’ if you are a willing and able student. While it might be true that some people have natural attributes that could be an advantage in leadership, the idea of ‘born leaders’ is wrong.
If a leader is a jerk, they are not a leader, simply someone using power to control others.
Women may make good leaders when leading women but I’ve yet to see an effective woman leading men, in any situation. Any experience I’ve had with female bosses has either ended up with them following my lead, or tears, always theirs. There may well be women out there capable of leading but they would be a rare exception.
In the words of Mickey Rourke……’you also need somewhere to lead people’
Good article. I would recommend a nuanced and lean approach to the news, given that almost all of it is now “clickbait fake.” I mainly read the financial publications, the idea being that if they are wrong, their investor readers lose money, so there are higher journalistic standards and accountability. It isn’t perfect but there’s a reason the WSJ is behind a paywall: it doesn’t suck! Netflix being the rare exception a couple times/mo, I do not watch any television and now do not go to movie theaters either, since most of it is blatant leftist propaganda. A common trait among many leaders and highly successful people is their ability to ruthlessly tune out distractions better than most others. Many do not even have smart phones or social media accounts or if they do, it is heavily restricted. i know a few who have no phone at all and only communicate by email or even fax. Many Consulting and law firms forbid social media accounts altogether due to distractions and liability and the simple flip phone is now making somewhat a comeback. Remember, the “smart phone” is not a phone: it’s a slot machine that doubles as a tracking device.