What Is The Difference Between a “Hook Up” Date And A “Serious” Date?

It would appear that, in the Twitter-sphere at least, there are still men who believe there is a distinction to be drawn between the sort of date that you would go on for a ‘hook up’, and the kind you would arrange for a more ‘serious’ encounter. Of course, this is illusory. A first date, whomever it is with, should always be the same.

You should go for a few drinks, and not overcomplicate things. Perhaps this flies in the face of conventional ‘wisdom’. Well, conventional wisdom is wrong, for at least a couple of reasons. The first is that when you are going on a date with a girl for the first time, you shouldn’t even be thinking about whether this is going to turn into something ‘serious’ or not.

Even if you are in the market for a girlfriend, building up a date with someone who you presumably hardly know into a big deal is the very worst thing you can do.

What if you go out with said girl and she turns out to be a moron who you can’t stand? The whole purpose of meeting up with someone is, after all, to get to know them a little better (whether or not things end up in the bedroom).

And even if she does turn out to be the girl of your dreams, making too much investment before you’ve even slept with her screams of desperation and provider mentality. In fact, if you’re not careful, it might look as though you are trying to impress her simply to get her into bed.

The Truth About Attraction

The reason the men mistakenly believe that they should somehow behave differently with ‘good girls’ they are looking to get more serious with belies a fundamental misunderstanding about how the sexual marketplace works.

Bear in mind that initial attraction operates the same, regardless of whether you wind up as fuck buddies or an old married couple. And attraction has to be there at the beginning no matter what. So whatever your longer term intentions are regarding this particular girl, you must play it cool at the outset. And you must spark attraction. And the very best way to do this is not to try too hard.

Think about this. Imagine you meet a beautiful girl who has all the qualities that you desire for a long-term partner or wife. Perhaps you meet her at the library, or in a museum or bookstore, or some other environment that would indicate to you that she is a good catch.

Because she is not a club girl, or the sort who frequents bars (or so you assume), and because you infer that she has long-term potential as a result, you decide to organise something special for your first date. You buy tickets to a recital of a Schubert’s string quartets, and then arrange a candlelit dinner at an expensive restaurant afterwards.

After all, this is a special girl. You are not in the market for a one-night stand and neither is she (clearly). And because you are hoping to initiate a relationship with her, you want your first date to be memorable.

So you meet the girl, you sit through the string quartet in your itchy suit, and then you go to dinner, where you make small talk about books on the New York Times bestsellers list.

When the evening draws to a close you walk the girl home and she gives you a peck on the cheek at her door. The next day you send her a message telling her how much you enjoyed her company. She doesn’t reply. You never hear from her again.

The Fatal Nature of Over-Investment

Regrettably, you have made the number-one error of all average frustrated chumps the world over—you have invested too heavily too early on, and this has pushed her away. It is a trope of human nature that which is to available to us is immediately tarnished and soon becomes detestable. And if you indicate to a woman upfront—through your investment level—that you are unequivocally available, then she will be repelled.

Don’t assume that she is so sweet and innocent that she will be grateful for your ministrations. That is naive in the extreme. Instead, control your urge to go over-the-top, and instead, treat her like you would any other girl—in the initial stages at least. If you get on well, and it does develop into a relationship then, of course, you can treat her then.

But never forget that you won’t enjoy the warm comfort of comfort and affection before you have first ignited the white-hot heat of attraction.

Just Meet Her For Drinks

So follow the attraction model. Take her out for a drink, and make the interaction sexy. Flirt with her. Make it clear (in your eye contact, in your tonality, in your touch, and even directly) what it is you want. If she rejects you then fine—plenty more fish. If she doesn’t, then take things further.

After you’ve slept with her and you’ve spent a bit of time with her, then you can determine whether or not this is someone you want to be in a relationship. And at that point, it’s perfectly OK to start organising trips to the zoo, and walks in the park, and so on. If that’s your thing.

But for a first date? No, keep things simple. Any other approach could well be counterproductive, and wreak, rather than improve, your chances.

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Read Next: What To Do On A Date To Maximize Your Chances Of Closing

47 thoughts on “What Is The Difference Between a “Hook Up” Date And A “Serious” Date?”

  1. Americans scream that people should be moral and obey the law, but then they shrug when told that Trump broke the law when he cheated on his wife by illegally using a prostitute.

    1. Cheating on his wife and banging hookers? Is that what you think Americans should be angry about? Really???
      I am angry, extremely angry, that Hussein Obama lied about me being able to keep my health insurance. The one I liked. The one that let me see any doctor I wanted without going to my “primary care” physician first. The one I had for 20 years and cost $278/month. I now pay $729/month so parasites can get pre-natal care and pediatric dentistry for future welfare recipients and crips/bloods/ms-13 members. That’s one of the things I am angry about. High taxes are another, and yes, Trump has not yet helped me out on this front.

      1. I pay 1600€ tax per month and get relatively little in return whereas as my Syrian neighbors pay nothing and get quite a lot of gibsmedats. Our chancellor hates us. Trump at least seems to have your back

        1. Yes, I agree that he seems to have our back, but I still do not have a wall, the illegals are not being deported, the “dreamers” still have protected status and I still lose 40+% of my income to the government. He has 2 more years to fix this mess. Yes, I voted for him and yes he was much better than the alternative, but still, I do not have high hopes.

      2. Happened in Toronto bro. Back in 2011, I used to pay $100 for university health insurance, but for the 2012-13 academic year, they included birth control and IUDs and it skyrocketed to $400 per semester. I applied for student loans and student grants ever since.
        I left for Asia ever since 2016 and I haven’t paid a dime back to OSAP. Thanks Turdeau!

        1. Savings and consultant for engineering firms from Australia. It’s easier to find a job that requires professionals in Asia-Australia than to find a general labour job in Toronto! How fucked up is that?!

        2. @ TC
          My current contract is with a top 5 IB.
          They have a large IT center in Manilla.
          They let me know that they will keep me on contract until the time limit runs out (about 3 more years). When that time comes, I will seriously consider going full time as a VP with them if they can transfer me to Manilla.

      3. I paid $1,400/month under Obamacare and when I needed a heart bypass, Obamacare refused to cover it initially until when I recovered from surgery, I fought for my reimbursement.
        Obamacare only refunded 85% of the costs of my heart bypass surgery.

    2. Redpill Forum
      Why so petty?
      Obama weaponized federal law enforcement agencies, the IRS, and the intelligence community, to spy on a presidential candidate.
      To keep it “legal” they even brought in help from the “5 eyes”.
      Hillary, with the help of players in the MSM and DNC, stole the presidential nomination from Bernie Sanders.
      Not to mention, Hillary’s private server was not “hacked” by the Chinese, but it was made “available” to them.
      And all you can think about is who-slept-with-who?

    3. “But for a first date? No, keep things simple.”
      A few drinks then back to my hotel room for sex, it doesn’t get more simple than that. (Always a hotel room, I don’t like them knowing where I live)

    4. @Redpill “pussy” !!
      What if I say that Mr. Trump’s wife cheated Him first; by not being obedient, by not showing any gratitude & respect to her MAN, by trying to use societal & legal double standards, by only wanting His hard earned $$$… etc… !!
      A prostitute is a prostitute; doesn’t matter whether “legally or illegally” !! Assuming that what you said is even true, that prostitute will feel she is the most LUCKIEST pussy on this Planet !!
      If there is anything “illegal”, the pussy must be punished, NOT the MAN.
      *** May the Supreme being Bless Mr. President with Good Health and Strength ***

      1. America is gynocentric and Canada is worse that it includes anti-male bashing and feminist tyranny.

      2. In the final analysis all women are prostitutes in the sense that for all women sex is transactional. As for all women love is conditional.
        The only difference is that for “professional” prostitutes the deal is explicit and up front. For “non-professional” prostitutes the deal is amorphous and the end liabilities for men are much greater and effectively unlimited.

    5. Feminist teachers don’t follow law when they get their pussies and anuses ravaged by pre-teen adolescent boys in their school of employment. Many of the feminist teachers get pregnant like rats and rabbits and more than Moslem in Europe.

    6. I do not give a rat’s ass about who the prez (current or past) may/may not be banging…if you can get’em, do’em…
      What I care about is how he runs the country…
      BTW – were you screaming bloody murder when Clinton was raping/assaulting women in his glory days? Or does this prudish bs apply only to conservative presidents?

    7. RedPill, if you believe that attorney Michael Avenatti’s story from Stormy, then you are really uninformed or simply clueless about why Trump HAD to pay Stormy off and do the NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement).
      Stormy was working as a hooker when she, like everyone else attending that event, had her photo taken with Trump at his golf course years ago. That is the sole piece of evidence she used to blackmail Trump for cash.
      “Why would he pay?”, you might ask. Because Trump is a BRAND, not just a real estate developer company. The bad publicity from a false accusation and the cost to litigate such a frivolous claim is much higher than the payoff to get an NDA.
      America employees more lawyers than the rest of the world combined, so that should tell you our litigious culture is terrible. We have TV ads 24/7 from lawyers “did you inhale asbestos? Get cash now!” or “sue this medication and get tons of money” etc etc.
      The Don may very well be telling the truth, especially when he says he never banged Stormy. And the fact The Don paid her blackmail cash demand off is NOT proof it actually happened. Here is why:
      I worked in legal field for years and I can tell you it is common practice for wealthy people to pay off “nuisance value settlements” to make false accusations of any variety like this go away. Rich people in America have a target on their backs, they get falsely accused of all sorts of things by employees, contractors, co-workers, and even so-called friends. People accuse them of discrimination, abuse, racism, affairs, and more. The goal is simple: money. The false accusers do not want fame or anything, they just want CASH.
      Stormy is different because she got $130g from Trump but what she wanted is to stop dancing at strip clubs for $20 a dance and go back to high end porn and make tons of cash fast. Probably is, she is all used up and unemployable and even the guys who hired her as an “escort” paid less than what she used to make in movies. So Stormy shook down Trump, but has since spent all the $130k on garbage.
      When Trump ran for Presidency, she waited until 1 month before election to blackmail him. Trump could not risk another “Insider Hollywood” scandal, so he paid the blackmail. Then she spend the cash really fast (like what we see with Dubai Porta-Potty girls) and needed more. Trump said “no”, so she hired that scumbucket Avenatti to smear Trump publicly and TRY to get back into movies (which failed and she got NO money from this and now is facing $80 million in lawsuits from Trump due to violations of the NDA she willingly signed). Stormy is dancing in a shoddy stripclub in Richmond for $15/dance).
      This is a shitty legal system where successful men get shaken down all the time, no doubt. If we had Tort Reform in America where loser pays all court costs and frivolous lawsuits resulted in disbarment for lawyers and serious financial penalties on the Plaintiff acting in bad faith, this shit would end, products and services would cost less, medical care would be 40% cheaper across the board, and it would make our lives better. But the trial lawyer’s lobby is well-funded and consequently, powerful, and they literally own the entire Democratic party and the RINOs are terrified of them.
      But do not come here and try to say Trump “broke the law” by cheating on his wife. 1) You have NO evidence of that; 2) adultery is not a crime; 3) if you have been watching Judge Kavanaugh saga, you KNOW women LIE all the time.
      So get off your high-horse. The Don is easily the best President we have had in decades.

  2. “What if you go out with said girl and she turns out to be a moron who you can’t stand?”
    I have no issues whatsoever with a girl who is a moron.
    As long as she is young, thin and pretty.

  3. Never ever ever assume a female to be sweet and innocent just because they don’t act slutty, well presented girls usually turn out to be the filthiest sluts in the game.

    1. And they can support themselves after they divorce their husbands because “they don’t love him anymore”.

      1. Feminist teachers state that it’s illegal for teenage boys to have sexual feelings for their female peer, but feminist teachers get pregnant by their 10 to 14yo male students like rabbits.

        1. Toronto chad,
          Do you have an article on that? I want to read more about the affairs between feminists teachers and their underage students.

  4. The only good thing about a Troy article are the pics of the smoking hot sluts. I’m gonna go beat my meat now. Oh, and mohammed was a little bitch. Seriously, he used to get his ass kicked by children on a daily basis and a little less known fact is that he used to bleed from his vagina once a month. A true bitch

    1. “The only good thing about a Troy article are the pics of the smoking hot sluts.”
      Hope that’s flame. Those sluts are 7/10.

  5. Very good article it hits spot on really.
    Since ive quit the drink i either take bitches out for coffee or an ice cream on first dates

        1. They can suck all the sweet sugar sap out of my trouser snake, then leave without comments. Bitch better swallow too so she don’t spit it out and stick it in her snatch then scream rape.

    1. There is nothing wrong with an ice cream cream date as long as it ends with whipped cream on the tits and a banana up the ass

  6. I go to ROK hoping that someone will take on the Judge Kavanaugh saga only to find a Troy Francis piece on how not to wine and dine a prospective mate. Men should not take advice from an unmarried 43 year old, moderately successful, average looking dude who is a non-breeders. Even the bitter divorced guys of the manosphere managed to get one woman to say “yes.” Please Troy, no more articles coaching men on a fulfilling life of fucking dumb, foreign, diseased women.

    1. Thanks Timmy
      You are a voice of reason,
      I see that overinvesting is what a chump would do, but trying to get into pants too early just sounds very desperate..

  7. Why are manosperians against breasts? Post some photos of women that don’t look barely pubescent sometimes guys, I know you can do it.

    1. I heard men who have low testorene likes women with high testorene (boyish figure).
      Yet I have also heard that men who weren’t breastfed enough in infancy likes big tits..

  8. Well compatibility is important, still a girl who sleeps with you on first date!
    What if I am dating a virgin?

  9. i am a german and we think Trump is the same as Hitler we hate Trump
    and we hope that he lost the next election
    Dieter Funke

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