195 thoughts on “Three Crappy Mistakes I’ve Made As A Boyfriend”

1. I kept waiting for the punchline but it never came…

   1. Yeah I really thought it was a parody

   2. I don’t see a problem here. Mindless bashing serves no purpose. Raul isn’t saying you should submit to your girlfriend, just don’t insult her for no reason.

      1. WRONG! There will be times when you HAVE to insult her for no reason. You HAVE shit test them. You HAVE to be a dick. It breaks my heart every time, but they can NEVER feel that they can “read” you. They have to go crying to their omega pillow-boy (Felix) about how they just can’t figure you out. But don’t worry, they secretly love the challenge. Nice one day, ASSHOLE the next, sometimes if front of mutual friends. Maybe as a schizo Gemini, this came naturally to me, but believe me, its when they are scratching their heads about you is when they are happy.

         1. There will be times indeed.. just not all the time

      2. Insult a woman and she’ll come crying and begging to you for more.

   3. Lets not be too hard on him. Game isn’t really a factor with Mexicans. Ultimately, they just knock up some random 16 year old, then have 8-10 more kids from there, and that’s pretty much it from then on..

      1. Or white women who hate their father.

   4. Me too. What is this, a Beta Male White Knight Construction Kit?

2. Is that actor Jake Gyllenhall checking out the chick’s ass in the middle photo?

   1. probably looking at her purse

      1. Hahahahaahahaha

   2. Yeah.

3. Oh boy, I will be sure to follow all these instructions so maybe I can get some……ha ha ha ha ha….not…..wtf?

4. Surely this is meant as comedy?

5. this article must be a joke

6. You’ve made mistakes?
   I had a gal in high school invite me to her house and I declined.
   Two years later she showed up as a Hustler centerfold.

   1. That’s a true facepalm.

      1. It gets worse. A couple years after that I was in a massage parlor near “Ft.Bragg” NC and there was the centerfold on the wall. I tole the girl I was with that the centerfold model went to my high school and she just shrugged as if I was claiming to know a celebrity, let alone having had a failed shot at her pussy. As she gave my loins an industrial massage I contemplated the sometimes humiliating nature of existence.

         1. So she pretty much said “I don’t care… you pay to give you hand job, not to listen.”

         2. She was American not Korean, hence the poor customer service attitude.

         3. hahaha thats too fucking good

   2. I just have to say, Elmer, that you are always a reassuring presence in the comments sections of ROK articles. Avuncular and slyly humorous, your comments always strike the right tone. Many thanks.

      1. Well, thanks. I continue to get accolades from across the internets for my idiotic comments, though the ladies of Salon are seething about my small penis and the mail-order slave girl I keep in my basement.
         If I could collect these rambling and publish them in an “ebook” perhaps it would provide some amusement to my fan base.

   3. Those are the worst mistakes. They gnaw at you for years. I should know.

      1. It’s enough to make one weep.

7. Be the Skittles man.

   1. Bring the movies.

      1. Nah man too.

8. I think there is some good advice in here, but not enough qualifiers.
   You’re right in saying a guy shouldn’t be a completely uncaring asshole to a girl he is dating and potentially loves, but that is a mistake very few men make.
   Most men in relationships will make the mistake of not being enough of a challenge to their girlfriend. They will buy her lots of presents, compliment her looks, and pretty much let her know she can do no wrong.
   This girl will become bored with her predictable niceguy boyfriend if he keeps this behavior up for very long. You have to be a HUGE asshole for a girl to lose attraction for you, and she will give you plenty of opportunity to make slight changes to be nicer.
   Alphas will be given a hundred chances to treat their girl better, betas never get a second chance to be more alpha.

   1. You hit the nail on the head man. Being too much of an asshole tends to be FAR less of problem than being too much of a pussy. Most female dating advice to men translates to “Be more beta!”

      1. Be caring, and compassionate, and gimme lots of gifts they say.
         Proper dating advice is, if at the end of every day they think you may leave them if you get bored, you are doing something right.

   2. That last sentence is gold.

   3. Nice. You actually get what the fuck I am talking about. It fucking great saying being an asshole, be an asshole, be an asshole. I was. Sometimes you need to tone this shit down and actually not be a total fucking dickhead.

      1. I pretty much don’t give a fuck about anything unless it actually affects me, so in relationships I’m pretty much completely uncaring and so never find the time to be an asshole, What are some good things to be a dick about that will work in my favor. I’m mostly a silent guy so I don’t talk much and I don’t give out compliments unless deserved. So when I am an asshole, most people I know think something is wrong.

      2. Levels of advice, right? First, you have to learn how not to be beta all the time. Once you’ve got that down, it’s time to learn how to be beta the right amount of the time. I think CH said something about this a while back — when courting someone, you want to be about 2/3 alpha, 1/3 beta, but in a relationship, the correct ratio is closer to 2/3 beta, 1/3 alpha.
         The hottest girl I’ve dated came from a rich/kinda spoiled background, and was surrounded by old-school gentlemen. It was fascinating to watch — they treated their women like children, but took care of their every need. A kind of dominant-but-benevolent relationship that I still don’t quite understand.

9. Buy flowers and be more romantic? That may work on Israeli girls but certainly not on american girls.

   1. The guy dates money-loving, whiny Israeli jew-bitches. He is a tool and an obvious doormat that has horrible taste in women.

      1. Have you actually met Israeli women? You have an idea how hot they are and how good their family values are?

         1. Lets just say Jewish women aren’t exactly known for their good looks….if you noes what I mean.. And yes, this article sounds like something out of Maxim or Friendzoned Fedora Weekly…

         2. Nose*…. I meant the Jew broads have big, ugly hooked-nose beaks

         3. You’ve obviously have never been to Israel. No man who has would make that statement.
            Walk down Dizengoff in Tel Aviv and make that asinine statement just one more time

         4. I lived in Israel for a year and half. I know what the fuck I am talking about.

         5. Israeli girls are pretty damn hot.

         6. Haha… adorable. I guess you don’t realize that Israel is a melting pot of jews from all over the world and over a few decades it has created a very unique set of great looking women. Also, thank you reminding me, I have to renew my subscription to FriendZoned Fedora Weekly.

         7. Yep, I was replying to Alexei. I came out on to the streets of Tel Aviv after spending three weeks in Jordan and Egypt and it was like coming out of prison. I was approaching every girl in site

         8. Oh yeah dude. When I first moved there I nearly broke my neck checking out all the chicks. Like god damn.

         9. better you should renew your subscription to the magazine for Israelis: “We are in America”. Send $24 made payable to that name, to: P.O.Box 570283, Tarzana, CA 91357 the Hebrew is quite anglo-cized, as one might expect from a LA-centered community. PS: we can only IMAGINE what Alexei would comprehend when the Russians & Ukrainian chicks of Israel (gigantic community of them in Afula) tell him to go back to his mom’s basement.

      2. You know why I don’t bring up the subject of string theory with friends and family?
         Answer:Because I would have no fucking idea what I was talking about.
         Let me guess, Alexei-you simply can’t relate

10. What a load of nonsense. Typical American manboob that probably only bangs fat Mexicans. This site is going downhill…

    1. Nah, just Israeli girls, the Americans of the Middle East. In Tel Aviv, girls would ask if I have a car before even knowing my name.

       1. Huh, I lived in Israel for a year and half no girl ever, ever asked me if I had a car, how much money I made, or any of that sort.

          1. I lived there eight years, and there is a very well defined status pyramid according to origin and ethnic group, and also the kind of job you do and the two most important things: if you own a car and if you own your own place or rent alone in the city (which is expensive).

          2. Raul, if that’s your photo, you have your answer right there. You’re a good looking, lantern jawed, muscled (I’m assuming, since you’re ex-military) guy. You could be an unemployed bum and still have some. Most guys don’t have that kind of background.

11. 1. +1 for the Billy Madison clip =)

12. I only take issue with your first one.
    1. Always keep minimums and maximums – Never treat any girl more special than any other girl, make principles a part of your behavior and stick to them.
    For example, if you like anal sex, and you give a new girl one month before she gives up the ass, then she better give you anal before one month is up or she’s out. That’s a minimum.
    If you believe it’s wasteful to spend more than $50 (or .05% of your yearly income) on any one meal, then stick to it and don’t spend more. That’s a maximum.
    2. Look at whatever you want, and don’t make a big deal out of it. Give a sheepish grin when you check out a girl’s ass. Makes em jealous.
    3. Don’t give pointless criticism, but let her know if she can fix something. Complaining about her boob size is pretty pointless unless you’re gonna pay for the boob job. On the other hand, telling her she’s doing a great job with her diet and to keep it up is the right way to go.

    1. Maybe it was my fault for not being clear about this. This all implies you actually think this woman is a quality woman worth keeping around. This implies that you’re actually in a relationship and dare say I, love this girl. I guess we can stick with a working theory that no one woman worth ever loving and they’re all pieces of shit.
       I agree that never treat them special in the dating stages, but if stuff does get real, you can let down your asshole behavior.

       1. Don’t worry about it Raul, the freedom to talk shit and be judgmental assholes towards each other is what separates the manosphere from blue-pill sites.

          1. Its not for the soft-skinned that’s for sure.

       2. Some people,mostly those who were white knights before go to the other extremity and start being a full-time assholes,even hating on women but as in everything BALANCE is the most important thing.Dont be a fucking pussy but dont be a retarded psychopath either because maybe its good enough for getting one night stands but there is a reason manosphere posts are 99percent about one night stands and not managing relationships,girls get bored of you if you are an asshole all the time.BALANCE GUYS,BALANCE!!!Good post btw!

          1. You’re right; once you hang up the sword and shield, you go too far in the other direction. It’s a daily battle, which is why those of us who were the worst offenders are social retards when we first swallow the pill and subsequently discover Game.
             Without Game to practice, we’d probably be completely incapable of interaction with women.

       3. Girlfriend? Phhhhhh
          Just don’t marry her okay? lol

       4. My engaged guy friends are happy as fuck, and have never deliberately put up an “asshole attitude” toward their girlfriends. Call them beta if that makes you feel better, but they seem pretty well off to me.

    2. Agree. Standards of quality are an essential part of masculinity, and are all too lacking among men today.

13. Garbage. Lift the ban on “womyn” writers and let them contribute, cuz I’d rather read their comedy then useless shit like this! I heard enough of this crap from my mother growing up, and it took four years of college, two years of grad school and three years living overseas to DEPROGAM myself. Fuck you, Felix!

    1. Awww… thanks for the love “worldmusic” <3

14. I think this was a beta test. If you didn’t crease up at the first paragraph, you might be beta.

    1. The first paragraph where I wrote about how you have your woman on lockdown and are using her as your little sex toy? Real beta talk right there.

15. I’ve become more emotionally (not physically) abusive because not only have I become fed up with women’s shit, but also because they reward my treatment of them. This pisses me off even more, making me more emotionally abusive, which makes them more submissive towards me. I don’t like it, but most modern women must love sociopathic behaviour. Not only that, but they must be pretty worthless themselves to hold such socially destructive behaviour in such high regard.

    1. Bang on the money.

    2. … here is a pro tip: Don’t fucking date chicks who love sociopathic behavior. If a chick makes you become something you don’t want to be, then why the hell are you doing it?

       1. How about because most women are wired like that, so you cannot get away from them.

          1. I think I have to back up Raul on this one. If the chick you are with only gets wet from deliberately cruel sociopathic behaviour and you are not that type of guy, then let her get her yayas with some drug dealing scum and go find someone better. Let’s not stretch it too much and say all women only respond to being treated like total shit, now. Sure, some are like that, but personally I find that type of damaged goods beneath me and not worth the effort.
             Sure, you shouldn’t be a supplicating beta. You shouldn’t be a needy pussy beggar. You should definitely work on improving yourself and becoming a confident, exciting man who can draw in worthy women with his charisma and aura. You should maintain frame and lead the relationship. You should approach it from an abundance mentality, and so on and so forth. All of these and more will give you the proper mindset. But there’s a big difference from being a confident man on a mission who knows what he wants, to becoming a sociopathic scum bag. If you feel the latter is the only way to get some nice pussy, there’s something wrong somewhere.

          2. Seth, there is so much wrong with that reply to Raul alone, that my head is spinning. What do you mean “can’t get away from them?” Are you saying that we men are predisposed to dating no one but sociopaths and sycophants? And what do you mean “most?” Yes, I agree that women are wired a certain way–and way differently than us–but not completely like that.
             From the looks of things, it seems like either consciously or unconsciously, you enjoy playing the victim to insane bitches instead of opening your mouth and communicating with them what you will and won’t put up with early on. If they want to launch themselves into the crazy orbit after you lay down the law, then that’s their fucking problem, not yours. THAT is how you “get away from them.” THAT is how you screen for better women than the whackjobs you’re all too happy to deal with.
             I’m just saying.

          3. I work with women doctors all day long, so in a working day, I cannot get away from them. Female doctors in Canada and the US are much more pleasant, because medicine is done as a postgrad and not undergrad degree. Here, they start as early as 17.

          4. Given your situation, of course you can get away from them…when you clock out at the end of the day or eventually quit. Further, what does THEIR behavior have to do with YOU as a man? Yeah, I’m sure it’s aggravating as hell, but it’s far from a be-all-end-all determinant of women’s behavior.
             In your reply, you’ve failed to qualify this. It also sounds to me like you’re taking bullshit home from work when you don’t need to.

16. What is this? A Cosmo article? Roosh, I understand the need of having fresh content, but please mind the quality of your contributors. Fewer is sometimes better.

17. We might need an occasional reminder to lighten up the asshole game from time to time and use some nice guy game, but c’mon… this is gay. I remember how to be nice from my pregame days, and I still bring it out occasionally if a girl earns it, but it us the least important skill in your game repertoire… at least with American women.

18. This must be the worst article i´ve read on RoK.com. Truly unRoKish.

19. Leading off with “…mistakes I’ve made..” Only to take the tired old condescending tack. Small dicks. Hilarious. Bad writing all around. Sure, be vulgar, but you have to have some respect for your audience and you must give them some reason to listen to what you have to say. I don’t see either happening with this piece. Drop the hyphen too. Especially if you are going to write in Jezzie style.

    1. What hyphen are you talking about?

20. According to this goofy clown author, the only way to be a good boyfriend is to be an obedient little slave who serves the pussy, hand and foot. In other words, we can read this article in 10 billion different places on the Internet, in other words, this advice is crap.
    Here’s a better article:
    3 Crappy Mistakes I’ve Made As a Boyfriend:
    1. Not being master and commander to my woman
    2. Not keeping her bitch behavior in check from the get-go, not keeping on top of her bad behavior and calling her out on it
    3. Not training my woman to be submissive to my male authority
    I’ve produced a more useful article in 1 paragraph than this guy did in 20.

    1. You sound Alpha to the max Lyle.

       1. You do come across as a bit too fixated on worshiping women to me. It is your life though.

          1. Well…
             It kind of seems like you all come across as being way too fixated on having women worship you -or more accurately, your dicks.
             Just saying, an intellectual intimacy is nice too. You all seem to have some very bizarre and manipulative streak to try to coerce women into having one night stands with you instead of enjoying the fruits that come from conversation or even just having non-sexual fun.
             Ever play chess with your girlfriend? How about walk around the city and go into the weirdest looking stores? Did you ever stay up late and talk about time-travel (or anything for that matter)?
             My girlfriend and I did lot’s of things together, because believe it or not, you can actually have fun with girls! Wow! It’s almost as if they’re actual people!

    2. No long term relationships more than a few weeks. All problems solved. If you want to get married wait until you go abroad.

    3. “Her body has a special uniqueness that only belongs to her…Your hands have free to reign to run wild all over her body and feel how her special curves line up. Enjoy it, because they are a part of her and most likely, you’re never going to fuck a girl that looks perfectly like her again.”
       Hahaha this is clearly a parody. You almost had me there Raul!

21. A tiny bit of it once in a while, just to surprise her, but asshole game must stay up 95% of the time.

22. This writer must not be a frequent reader of the Manosphere…

23. This author is a fucking pussy. I feel like I’m reading Salon or Cosmopolitan right now.

    1. how would you know what reading cosmopolitan feels like?

       1. I’m assuming it’s like this. Don’t be a douche because the writer is your butt buddy.

          1. oh im not a douche because the author is my butt buddy, im a douche because you implied you read cosmopolitan. also, how do you call someone a “pussy” and then tell someone else not to be a douche without the hypocrite charge attaching?

24. two questions:
    am i rip van winkle and it is april 1st 2014?
    how come the internet trolls arent all over this but always on my articles?

25. is roosh trying to troll us?
    Some of the advice is ok but its pedestrian. the average man knows this stuff.
    rather than ‘vulgar’ the author comes off as pathetic and try-hard. that new Bruno Mars song where he whines about not being beta enough was playing over and over again in my head while I read this.

    1. more like the one about jumping on a grenade

26. I hope your single game beats your relationship game. Cause if you’re not single, soon you will be…

27. the author should watch this video repeatedly:
    

28. The vagina of the author must have been super wet writing this to his alpha readers. Good girl. Now go get daddy a beer, and have it open before you return.

29. This guy’s points weren’t even ridiculous. Let me get this straight, they were basically:
    – make time for her, don’t get lazy (but she’s still totally your sexy vixen nymphololol and will stop sexing you if you get too lazy)
    – respect her enough to not lie to her constantly (but still check out other girls unashamedly all the time because whatever. That’s normal and you’re too childish to not get your way all the time. Maybe she’ll pick up on what you seem to like and serve you better)
    – don’t criticize her body all the time (because then you’ll get less sex because feelings)
    He seriously dialed the sexism back just a tiny bit. The littlest, tiniest of bits. And everyone here in the comments is losing their shit.

    1. ”
       When is the last time you’ve done something to really make your woman feel special?” lol

       1. she gets to feel special cause she IS with a man who already is and feels himself to be special

    2. Thanks for getting what I’m saying. I guess if my advice doesn’t say “constantly dick slap your bitch and law down about how big a of boss player you are” it automatically makes me a mangina and a pussy.

30. I don’t think the author is being a beta nice guy. I think he’s taking a middle-of-the road position between conventional alpha and beta wisdom. He does maintain standards, such as his women not being fat, and I suspect that he holds other standards at well that may net him a higher class of women that perhaps are a bit more worthy of traditional romance. Obviously if I had a woman who was actually housewife/mother material I’d probably want to heed the author’s advice, or at least most of it.

    1. Exactly. There too much of a focus on how much American women do suck. That’s all these guys can think about, how much women suck and bitch about it. How about when you get one who is actually a high quality woman and housewife material? Are you really going to be a cold, heartless SOB or you can try to do things to keep her being your little sexy vixen.

31. I saw that bell-end with the wine and flowers and was near-enough, instantly repelled by this article.
    I always look at other girls. If she sees, so what? I also make it a personal policy not to say really dumb shit. Call me crazy.

32. Some of this sounds good, only in extreme moderation. Being “romantic” and telling a girl she’s beautiful, rapidly reaches a point of diminishing returns. No gesture or gift will ever substitute for your physical presence and attention. Did the Israeli girl ever take an hour and a half bus ride to see you?

    1. I’ll say and this goes for male friends as well. If it’s always you getting on the bus, driving over or paying for things you have to question the validity of therrelationship.
       At the very least if you do something for a girl she should be making an effort to please you by dressing sexy, making you a meal or some form of non financial compensation. If she expects gifts as a matter of course, she’ll quickly take you for granted and even expensive items will be received with contempt. Be harsh with her but I agree that being an asshole for the sake of being an asshole is trying too hard.

    2. She’d take the bus to see me all the time. It wasn’t a one street. She did a lot of things for me. I did she things for her.

33. Does anyone even like 36DD tits these days? I much prefer smaller well shaped tits. In fact I don’t really care about tits at all as I’m more concerned with the ass. I often can’t even be arsed to get girls tits out.

    1. FUck Yeah, ASS all the way bro!!

34. I cant remember when was the last time i labeled someone as a “mangina”… But this dude deserves it.
    Why someone that doesnt took the red pill should have a text published in a manosphere blog?

    1. Looks like page clicks

35. Think this message was meant for returnofqueens.com.

    1. That actually made me laugh. Nice.

36. If I ever master Game to the point where I pull worthwhile girls into relationships, the warnings given in this article will be far from my mind.
    Can any experienced Game masters who are in relationships comment as to the wisdom presented here? I have to ignore it since it smells too much like beta bait, and I’m in the “Alcoholic’s Anonymous” of beta orbiting/relationships.

    1. What Raul wrote makes sense in certain cultures, for certain girls, and in certain relationships. People who are complaining here are thinking he meant this for your average- western-slut bar star/ Facebook whore.

       1. I see what you’re saying; I guess those of us who are still learning stateside would do well to keep this article in mind when we start pulling girls we want to park into long term relationships.

37. I couldn’t even finish reading this incredibly mundane boring dating advice, that might as well have been written by a typical american woman…
    Has the author completely lost his manhood and identity amidst the feminist propaganda… is it in the food you eat gents, what has happened to you ??? Is there absolutely no editing control on this website now ???

    1. He probably drinks soymilk

38. It’s one thing to NOT let a woman get away with murder in the hope she will later spread her legs. It’s another thing to just hate women. There is some hate in these comments from play-acting “alpha” wannabees. Women are not the enemy; just some of them.
    Balance is key.

    1. Hating women has the pleasant side effect of getting laid.

    2. Look, I’m no Alpha, but I hope to be one. This article isn’t aimed at me since I’m still working on grinding out and refining my amateur approaches into netting 6’s, but I’m also skeptical. It runs counter to a lot of reading which is well received.
       Again though, this article is way above my level. Master class for those who’ve used Game to turn a worthwhile target into a love slave and want to keep her I guess.

       1. People don’t even know what alpha means. To them, being an alpha is just an excuse to be a dick towards a “target” that they don’t even see as being human. An alpha is a leader. A leader takes care of his pack and ensures their survival. Too many self-proclaimed alphas don’t even care if their “pack” survives. They are just as bad (unbalanced) as the feminists that they claim to hate.

          1. You’re undoubtedly right; for those of us just starting out though, we have to be careful about reading “master class” articles for those who have the basics down. We still have a whole lot of disgusting oneitis to get rid of and confidence to build.

39. Alright, I see what the author was getting at, and +1 to him for treating his audience as intelligent readers who will read between the lines and put the article in context – that is, as a guide for the contrasting comfort/love behaviors which one would apply to a girlfriend after firmly establishing Alpha frame.
    Where he failed was in using classic beta blunders – buying flowers, riding long-distance to see her, candlelight dinners – to illustrate his point. Might as well ask us to hold her purse. Take 100 readers of this site, and for 99 of them, the first step toward success with women was to abandon those behaviors in favor of other ones. We’ve all been there, listening to a girl whine about her life, taking her somewhere nice, holding back criticism, cuddling without getting laid; it’s put all of us in orbit at least once. It would have been better to use other Greater Beta examples – take her dancing or horseriding (assuming you know how to look good doing either), cuddle and talk *after* sex, invite her over to cook *with* you (sous chefs put out), something like that. At least put that part last; the other two bits of advice were solid and would have made the audience more receptive.
    Regarding those last two pieces of advice, both are good reframes of classic Alpha game – don’t be ashamed of your own sexuality and wandering eyes (reframed around her desire for honesty) and don’t say anything that will make a girl insecure about sex (reframed around empathy for body image issues).

    1. Thanks for your thoughtful feedback. That was my mistake, I should have been a little more clear about what type of woman you’re doing this for. I think a lot of the commenters assume I’m talking about whatever hag. That’s a negative. I’m talking about a woman who is actually worthy enough to be in a relationship with and you’ve established yourself as a man. You can soften up a little bit.
       Exactly. You can still have a classic dominating mind set without having to be a total over the top asshole. There is a balance and it can be reached.

       1. It’s also important to note that a lot of us are just starting out with cold approaches and stuck stateside. After reading about the bare basics of Game, reading stuff that encourages us to act even a little like the disgusting wretches we were is a huge shock and we tend to overreact.

    2. @MaccAodh I agree with you and props to Raul for holding his frame here against backlash of some of the readers.
       Like some of the sharper readers pointed out here, this article was more of a “a guide for the contrasting comfort/love behaviors which one would apply to a girlfriend after firmly establishing Alpha frame” vs. a how to have a one night stand how-to-guide that is more common on this site.
       To know Game is to know how to “push and pull” a girl emotionally. It cannot be all push and no pull. Your grade A asshole game has to be intermingled with sporadic spontaneous chivalrous behavior. I think this is what he is talking about in point No.1.
       Secondly, he is discussing girlfriend game, not dating pre-bang game, which I believe is quite different. Post-bang, especially after a few rounds of the cock, and especially if she made it clear that she is more into you than you into her, you can relax a bit. You’ve accomplished your main goal and you are cruising. The ball is in your court. You have control. You can dump her, treat her the same, reward her a bit for good sex, good behavior. Hell, when you read bang, Roosh definitely advises to take a girl out for dinner, call her, or do nice things with/for her *after* you banged her, and *after* you gained control in the relationship. This is the Key here.
       Third, I believe Raul is not talking about Anglo-Whores in this article, but about Jewish women (specifically one he dated). I have not idea, but I will assume culturally, they are a mix between EE and Western Europe and Middle East. (Many immigrants from Ukraine, Russia to Israel in last 20 years.) Therefore, I believe standard western game might not apply here. Remember how Roosh said, he got the best result in Poland by being a “horny beta”. You have to calibrate. Raul probably brought his western A-game to a nice Israeli girl. He got the bang, the girl, and control, but then lost it as he went too far on the “push”, and not enough on the “pull”. He didn’t calibrate it to the culture.
       Don’t bash this author before you realize what exactly he is talking about.

       1. You’re actually spot on. She was a Ukrainian immigrant and went to Israel when she was only 3 years old. A really different mentality and culture. A more family centered culture than here in the United States. I pushed my asshole tendencies too hard, too much, over a long period. It cost me. She actually tried hard to stay with me because she was head over heels in love with me. I pushed her to her breaking point. Thus why I have the experience to speak about it.

40. I AM CONFUSE.

41. did you get lost here on the way to Beta land

42. What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

43. I think Raul Felix and I agree, but he is not clear which is why I misinterpreted the artice.
    I run my relationships on a reward-punsh system. If a female is being good to me, sucking my cock, meeting my needs, not giving me an attitude, then I reward her by taking her out to a fastfood restaurant. But Raul’s article says I should do more than that, he says I should lavish her with gifts and fine dining. This is where we disagree.
    Now the opposite of reward is punishment, this is the part most guys ignore, including Raul. Even a great relationship girl needs to be corrected through verbal punishment when she is anything other than sweet, submissive, feminine and supportive.
    Unlike the other guys, I agree with Raul, to only be an asshole when it serves the purpose of correcting her bad behavior. Being an asshole is not a game, it’s not for shit tests, it is a weapon and a dominant man uses his asshole only when it is necessary.
    Raul, do we have an agreement or not?

    1. Not a 100%. I don’t believe you should “lavish” a girl with gifts and thus buying her love. But there is nothing beta about actually doing something sweet, caring, and romantic for a your woman on occasion. I didn’t say take her to sushi everyday or buy her flowers every day. I said, it wouldn’t hurt to do that shit now and then. To be clear, its for a woman you’re a in relationship with who is great, before you manoshpere bots start calling me a pussy.
       I have done the asshole over the top shit. I have learned my lessons that it isn’t always something you need to do or push. You can be calmer and even nice and caring, and still be the man of the relationship who makes her panties tingle. A lot of men here have the mentality that you can never be soft, that you can never give an inch, that there are two extremes, either alpha or beta. The game isn’t black and white.

       1. That’s the difference between a western slut and a feminine eastern European girl. One won’t care what you did, the later one will appreciate what you did. The bottom line is if you are doing something nice because you enjoy it as well as she and she truly appreciates it, then, occasionally, it makes sense to do it.

    2. This seems like the typical alpha show off comment from a kid who met zero quality girls in his lifetime.

44. Case by case right down to the details, I believe this equation might work for the author. Or it could by psyops, who knows?
    See his bio. He went from Army, which is slutsville to commitment apparently. The implied or assumed premise is that he is happier now as old-fashioned couple bait because he no longer needs to catch-as-catch can. Some more background might be useful to your readers here.

    1. Actually I didn’t got to commitment. This are mistakes I’ve made as a boyfriend because you know, I acted like an asshole all the time and lost the love of a woman I deeply loved. This is my look at what I did incorrectly. I am man enough to admit when I fucked up and not constantly push the blame on others like so many in the manosphere like to do.

       1. This comment illustrates why the article is so far off base, particularly the first ‘mistake’. You seem to be coming at this from a place of pining after an old fling that you ‘deeply loved’ who you have latched onto in your head. When they tell you, oh, I’m breaking up with you because you should have given me more presents, and made more grandiose gestures for me and you were too much of an asshole, these are usually not the real reasons for the breakup and often are the opposite. These are the reasons they latch on to that are conventional, acceptable rationalizations for the things that their animal brain is telling them to do for entirely different reasons. It sounds to me like you fell too hard for her, and that sort of thing just doesn’t go over well with a young, attractive woman with options, it can easily make them wonder why you value you them so highly, and take it as a reflection on your value. In my experience, when I fall a bit for a girl, and let my guard down, and start making the little romantic gestures and extra efforts of the sort you recommend, that is when paradoxically now I’m too much of an asshole and don’t try hard enough and maybe this isn’t going to work.

          1. The first point in the article has been misunderstood by the author and ultimately by the readers. It is not the act of buying something physical that was the mistake, but rather complete reciprocity. I invest a lot in my relationships and I believe in treating each other as human beings. I treat my partners very well and I expect the same in return. Relationships are not for all men, particularly insecure men. I am glad Raul is trying to make himself a better man and is not scared to admit his short-comings.

       2. You are working of a false premise; you did not lose your girlfriend because you were not nice enought. I guarantee it.

45. when seeking attention girls say, “look at me look at me! Look what i can do!” boys say with sly grins, “look what i made.”
    I think this was what Felix was trying to point out, though i would argue that flowers and chocolates are more of a, “look what i can do”. I would suggest instead commiting acts of creation or procurment. This is great news because the act of creation is subject to interprutation and procurment can be deceptively simple.
    Cooking dinner can be a feminine performance of ability, “look what i cooked/did” or an act of creation, “I cooked/made/created dinner” (a somewhat short Hemingwayish statement of fact with little room for interpretation).
    Procurment need not be satifyied by grand displays, keep it simple. If she visits the restroom and ask you to order her an orange juice remember that she doesn’t like pulp and order accordingly. When she returns tell her outright, “I made/created the order for no pulp in your orange juice”. But remember that these simple measures will only tide her over (women being social climbers by nature) and lead to your own complacency if you dont strive for greater things.
    Remind her of your great strengths, from time to time, and strive to push your limits by making a grand show of power. Aquire something diffucult, but within your realistic means. If you are a poor man it will likely be a poor showing, rich and it will likewise be a rich showing. This is as it should be and she will expect as much. If you wish to surprise her DO NOT OVERREACH!!! Any surprise she feels must be in your unexpected increase in social standing without her knowing. Her surprise and excietment is caused by your increase in value and validates her self image as the great woman behind the man. Overreaching your bounds is a deception in her eyes and the fall from prideful hieghts wont be forggotten.
    Hate to leave it on that note but such is the world of men.

46. This article reads like something you’d find in the USA Today ‘Men’s dating advice’ section. That is, all your points are beta as fuck and you focus on the wrong things. For example, she should be going out of her way to see YOU. In a relationship your girl should be totally devoted to you and wonder if you are going to leave her for a better/hotter chick. She should be obsessed with trying to win you over, and you should always have the willingness to walk away if she steps out of line.
    Oh, and the point about not criticizing her body?
    Watch this:
    

    1. So based on your video you would encourage her vanity, encourage self destructive behaviour for your own benefit. Congradulations you monster.

    2. “In a relationship your girl should be totally devoted to you and wonder if you are going to leave her for a better/hotter chick.”
       This is the secret weapon against anglobitches everywhere. They’ll happily use this against you but particularly if you get attention from younger woman they just can’t handle this.

       1. That’s because most anglobitches, especially “hot” ones, are insecure as fuck. The more beautiful they are, the more they have to lose from some younger, hotter broad one-upping them.

47. I thought women had been banned from writing articles @ROK

48. This isn’t so much a red pill blue pill issue as it is one of treating others as you would like to be treated.
    Let’s try this in reverse:
    1. Your girl is does little more than just show up. No sandwiches from your favourite falafel place, no carefully selected and wrapped presents, no extra effort in bed, no home baked cookies when you bring her around your friends and family.
    2. Your girlfriend checks out other men and then lies to you about it.
    3. She also criticizes your knock knees, pale skin and crooked teeth.

    1. You don’t have to swallow pills: this shit is the fucking golden rule.
       Treat others as you would like to be treated. Conversely, insist upon being treated with the same kindnesses you are prepared to give.

       1. Bullshit. Kindness is for betas. Pride is for Alphas. The idea of equality is a sham. You’re either better/stronger than someone, or you’re not. You either have status or you’re a loser.
          The Alpha male lion has other lions do the hunting and then he eats first. If he fucks a female lion, he kills all her babies that aren’t his. Human tribes of the past used to attack other tribes, kill them, steal their shit, and rape their women without giving a second thought. Humans lived that way for hundreds of thousands of years. Welcome to reality

    2. Women will only treat you kindly if you are high status. Which as we know in the west disqualifies around 80% of men.

       1. High status… Meaning what? Attractive? Educated? Fit? High earners? Accomplished?
          These men are treated well because they insist upon it. They have enough affirmations of their worth that they can calmly affirm their worth to the world. That’s gets a man much farther than 6-pack abs or a brand new truck.
          Man or woman, a doormat does get stepped on.

          1. You must be a woman.

49. Uh I really hope this post was sarcasm

50. I can’t believe some of the idiots posting here. Anyone who has actually had a girlfriend (not the keyboard jockeys calling everything “beta”) would see the value in this. What the author is saying is not to be a dick to the girl you love and do nice things for her on occasion. I like the author have lost girls I cared about because I was too focused on “keeping the upper hand” and not coming across as needy. The irony is that if you’re thinking like that you’ve already lost. Being able to show you care about someone without obsessively worrying about whether it’s “beta” is a huge sign of confidence. I wish there were more articles like this on the manosphere.

    1. Thanks man. I’m glad to see there are few guys who can take genuine advice without having to do “alpha male” posing.

       1. No problem dude. It’s just nice to see a post from someone who actually knows what’s good and doesn’t pidgeonhole every single action with women in to “alpha” or “beta.” Anyone who has actually dated a hot, sweet and feminine woman would know exactly where you’re coming from. Hope you keep it coming.

          1. A women where I don’t have to game her might be worth sticking with long term, women like this are rare. Most women are worthless as human beings.

    2. I wish there were more articles like this on the manosphere.”” There are, you’re just looking in the wrong place, maybe Ian Ironwood’s work is up your (our) alley.

       1. Thanks for the linkage.

51. I’m sorry to see so many haters commenting on this, but not surprised. The author is describing a certain type of long-term game, one which should be a part of any man’s toolkit. Alpha is anything, remember? Even romance. If a man can’t apply romance to an LTR while remaining masculine, then he lacks a crucial ability.

52. Baby steps. ROK articles should focus on the alpha aspects of game (and more than just the “western women suck” articles). I have the beta game down pat. Which keeps me perpetually single. More advice on the alpha part please, I’ll have no trouble going beta down the road, like riding a bike.

53. I’m curious, what are lovely Israeli girls like?

    1. A lot of them are pretty great. Fun and friendly. Very family oriented. But they like to get married young, usually at 24 to 27 when they finished their Army duties and University.

       1. Hmmm. Given my preferences that all sounds pretty good 😉 Thanks bro

54. Raul speaks of the “keeper” girlfriend, who is strong, self-assured, healthy, not the neurotic self-loathing clingy women that so many guys here seem to need to prove themselves as Alpha males. Crazy women do not make good marriage partners, or raise healthy children. Taking advantage of confused fragile females does not make you an Alpha or a grown man. If you need a dog to kick when you get home, then you can’t be much of an “Alpha” out in the real world, i.e. well educated, successful career, financially secure, emotionally stable. Take his advice. Fix yourself first, then a nice girl will want to stay with you. Love means you don’t have to play games.

55. If the woman likes sex so much, why do you think you are “punishing” her orifices when you have sex with her?
    Urgh, I care less about any of the stuff listed here (except for the third one, criticizing someone’s body is rude) than about the guy not being a sexual sadist.

56. This is exactly the kind of article that should not be on this site. Traveling 1.5 hours to see her multiple times a week? Complimenting her out of shape body? Buying extravagant gifts? These are exactly the kind of beta things girls with come to resent very quickly. A girl should come to you. She should feel enough anxiety that she wants to look better and stay in shape to keep you around. She should appreciate any gift from you, no matter how small. You paying the wrong picture. Be beta in a relationship is not good advice

    1. It is if you want to keep a girl around for a long time. She might keep getting fatter, she might give you less and less sex and become more bitchy, but she’ll stick around. For a while. As for me, I’m good on that. Lol

57. If the author’s time in Israel was as an American guard at a Patriot missile site then there is a possibility this israeli “Girlfriend ” might have been using him for something else. Did she ever access you computer Mr. Felix?

58. Refreshingly healthy perspective amongst the usual acerbic tripe on here.
    Although I’m only in partial agreement with #3. Whilst I agree it’s not prudent to tear into your girlfriend’s self confidence, she must know that you have strict expectations of what you will tolerate in respect to her attitude to her physical appearance.
    I spend a lot of time and effort looking after myself, it’s the mimunum I expect from her.

59. 1. Not every guy is interested in having a girlfriend, so this advice is somewhat useless in those cases. I prefer to use the term “piece of ass I’m with for the moment” as a better term — especially for guys under 25 who have no business being in a long-term relationship to begin with until they learn the true nature of women beforehand.
    2. Giving gifts on occasion is fine and very thoughtful. However, never EVER do this predictably unless it’s her birthday, Christmas or major holiday, and your anniversary. She’ll come to expect it. Half the fun is surprising her when she least expects it. Lastly, don’t go overboard and splurge that often. If she starts expecting that, especially in the beginning, beware the gold-digger and chart your exit course.
    3. Spot on about easing up on the criticism. If you unleash that fury on her, then she won’t take it well. As for a woman criticizing you, if you’re centered and inured to shaming tactics, you should do fine.

60. I thought this was a good post. A lot of guys here didn’t because it’s in contrast to pick up game, which is mostly Alpha. Relationship game has to have a proper mix of Alpha and Beta. Believe it or not, fellas, in a LTR you will have to tone down the assholery, the aloofness, and the jealousy-inducing mind fucks, and do a romantic thing or two to show appreciation. They key is to know when to do what, not to overdo it, and to remain unpredictable and mysterious even as you do things that are “nice.”

61. Author seems a bit of a mangina

62. http://raulfelix.com/about/
    The author is a good looking ex-military guy. He’s young, has all his hair, he’s muscled. He’s Latin. Keep this in mind while reading what has worked for him. This is like the natural alphas who say “just be yourself, man.”
    Please.
    I’m his opposite and women would laugh in my face and steal my wallet if I tried to pull off this beta shit.

    1. Being Latin has worked AGAINST me more than it has for me. . Since I prefer to date white women. If you read the book Dollars and Sex, which is an economical study on how Money and Sex intermingle, it states statistics stating that while white women SAY they’ll date a man outside of their race, only about 10% of them are actually willing to do it.White males are actually the prefered race for a vast majority of women.
       Muscled? Yeah, I worked out my since I was a scrawny teenager. Nothing is stopping you from doing the same. Ex-military? There is a recruiting station somewhere in your city. I have nothing that you can’t possess.

       1. Only tools join the military. Do you endorse murder you coward?

          1. I understand the appeal of the lifestyle, but it comes at the cost of tax payers money, and if you join the army you are basically a amoral hire goon for the state who kills people in other countries.

63. I think a lot of the comments about “beta game” are off. Beta game comes from a different place. It’s about trying to buy sexual approval from a woman who has little to no investment in you. The author, I think, is talking about occasionally dropping the “uncaring asshole” routine and doing something to let your girlfriend know that you actually do have some emotional connection. While flowers and chocolate may be cheesy examples, something like walking in the door and saying “put on something nice, I made reservations at the new sushi place we were talking about” can go a long way if it’s unexpected. As your relationship progresses from the early stages, you need to demonstrate that yes, she has in fact made some impact on your aloof/manly/rugged/alpha/etc self.

    1. The whole problem is the mentality that you ‘need to demonstrate’ anything. The only reason you would ever feel the need to demonstrate your oh so romantic love to a woman is if you’re afraid she is going to leave you if you don’t. And by doing so you are supplicating to her. Fuck that shit

       1. You ‘need to demonstrate’ a lot of things during the course of a courtship. RoK tends to focus on the things you demonstrate in the beginning, like high social value and lack of neediness. What you ‘need to demonstrate’ later on isn’t a misguided notion of ‘romantic love,’ but instead that yes, she has somewhat won you over. Heartiste talks about this concept occasionally. Here’s an excerpt from his day-to-day alpha post:
          “If you’re doing it right, you’ll be less beta early on when the girl needs to feel your masculine sexy energy, and more beta later on when the girl needs to see more signs of commitment. You’ll be more alpha up front, less later (as a function of time spent together), and the beta behavior that is more like a pleasantly surprising seasoning during the early stages of courtship will become more of a staple in an LTR.”
          In the beginning of the traditional manosphere journey, people tend to dial the “alpha” to 11, but I think that as they get more experience they realize how to apply game tenets in a more subtle way.

64. There seem to be many contradictions in this article with respect to Manosphere teachings. It rubbed me the wrong way.

65. I’m usually a relationship kind of guy (although I do have my streaks when I’m single) and a big fan of RoK but I agree that this guy took the wrong tack on this article. He comes off just way too soft.
    You are free to talk and check out and flirt other attractive women unapologetically in her presence. It builds a healthy level of jealousy from her and lets her know you are still considered very valuable to other women.
    Your girlfriend getting anywhere near obese means your game is slipping or you have no standards. You maintain your diet and physique and you expect the same of her. Chubby girls are for the herbs.

66. Change the name of this article to What have You Done for Her Lately?..and resign from the Manosphere…did you accidentaly swallow one of her BC pills?

67. This article is shit you probably would have got more from that girl or a higher quality girl by refusing to even ride the train for an hour to visit her. This article is degenerate pedestal behavior shit with out any qualifiers.

    1. Hello, “Poop”. This article is definitely not “pedestal” shit. Because it seems like he’s expecting the same behavior of a woman. I treat my man like a king, and he’s the ruler of our house. I cook for him daily, massage him, watch sports with him even though he knows I don’t like it. You know why? First, because I love him, and second of all, because I know he’d do other stuff for me that makes me happy.
       If a man on this site is actually looking for a relationship (most of them seem to just want prostitutes, which…hey, a victimless crime, fine, do it) this is the kind of thing they should be looking at. He’s not being a “Nice Guy” at all. He’s just treating someone how he wants to be treated. It would be beta if he accepted shitty treatment in return, but he doesn’t.

68. The most scary thing in this article are those two guys next to Jake Gyllenhall texting or checking their phones, I don’t know, like two little girls – they don’t watch the girl walk by and they don’t watch the game. Scary.

    1. Haha, I didn’t even notice that.

69. Is this the good man project? Who gives a fuck about long term relationships with a women?

70. Too many armchair alphas in here. Good luck maintaining relationships more than 2 months with quality girls by just being on dick mode.
    You gotta be a gentleman. And no, being a gentleman is not being a nice guy. The term has been bastardized by women to mold it into the betas you see pullulating today, but the original meaning is more in line with what a man should aspire to. Ever see those old brit movies and the way the men treat women, like they are barely a step above kids? Yeah, that’s how you do it. Stern when you have to be, playful when you have to be, protective when you have to be, let them make their mistakes and learn when you have to, put them in their place when you have to, but above all, always stay unfazed.
    You are safe in your alpha superiority, no need for verbal or physical beatdowns. Insults are a reaction, and drama queens crave reactions. Best way to discontinue bratty behavior is not being a dick like so many people on here believe, it is complete and utter indifference. Keep your pokerface.

71. Woman here.
    75% of you are immature asshats. If you want ONS and booty calls, then by all means, keep being an asshole ‘alpha’. But if you actually care about the girl…taking Raul’s suggestions is a wise move.
    You can still be an in charge alpha with out being an asshole to your lady. Some would describe my fiancé as an asshole. And he kind of is…..to people other than me! He has never bought me flowers in 2.5 years, but he does do nice things for me and makes me feel special. You can be romantic without doing the traditional flowers, jewelry, and candle-lit dinners stuff. Anything that requires you make an out of the everyday effort, and any little thing that says ‘I was thinking of you’ can be romantic and get you some that night. It doesn’t need to be a huge gesture.
    My fiancé was buying himself some books and saw an out-of-print book on the French Revolution so he picked it up and gave it to me since he knows I enjoy that kind of thing. Simple, easy, cheap, extremely minimal effort involved….and it got him laid.
    The suggestion about owning up to checking out other girls is a great one. I’ve told my fiancé from the beginning – you can look all you want, but you cannot touch. It’s actually something that keeps things fresh for us because if he see something and points her out, I look too, and we comment on the chick together. I’m not bi….but I appreciate a hot woman’s body and enjoy looking. If you lie to your girlfriend about something as simple as checking out another girl, how is she supposed to trust you on bigger issues?
    I think one of the secrets to a happy relationship is letting the other person THINK they are in charge. I think I wear the pants, my fiancé thinks he wears the pants and we both let the other one assume it’s true.
    Like Raul said…..things are NOT black and white. Relationships are balancing game. Put your big boy panties on and go see a ballet with your girl one night. Hold her purse while she shops. Then maybe she will be down with getting season tickets to the local NFL team. Give and take guys…..shouldn’t be that hard to figure out, and calling out a man as a beta and a mangina for realizing this just shows us ladies how truly fucking immature you all are.

72. This is a great post. One thing I dislike about feminism is the ridiculous double-standards. Unfortunately, I often find similar double standards (which also defy logic) on the manosphere. This is one of those rare articles that actually gets at logical, good behavior between two people. Modern-day feminist writing encourges unequal relationships (woman barely brushes her hair, and expects man to be head-over-heels amazed) and a lot of manosphere blogs promote men just cheating on women constantly (and most likely, having to pay for it…yuck). This really gets at a logical, good relationship- well done!

73. Bloody hell there *some* extreme women hating comments here. Either you truly despise women or just keeping up with the competition. Anyone who gets it, women or man knows that being a mug and letting someone else walk all over you becomes unattractive to quality people. As a woman I have dated the ultra nice guy and the dickhead. Now I have someone in the middle. I understand and want him to take the lead, make decisions and ill look after him. When I get out of place I want him to take me down, in fact it’ll probably turn me on. But I won’t stand for abuse. It takes certain types of people to understand the importance of boundaries.

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