In society, one of the most controversial subjects we have to deal with is false rape accusations. That’s when a woman deliberately accuses a man of raping her when he has done no such thing. This can occur for a multitude of reasons. Perhaps she wants to defame the character of the man because of his social status (CEOs, professional athletes, high ranking military officers, etc.). Perhaps a failed relationship aroused feelings of scorn. Perhaps it’s because she feels guilty of spreading her legs too fast to a guy she just met and immediately regrets it. This is arguably the most common.
Regardless, this has happened often enough to the point where debates rage on discussing whether or not rape actually occurred. Was there really consent? Is this girl just attention whoring? I personally ask these questions now whenever I hear about sexual assault in the workplace. In addition to an innocent man getting sent to prison; the worse thing about false rape accusations is that the real victims suffer. And that is what I want to talk about. I had to deal with this with a girlfriend of mine.
Quick Background
Immediately following high school, I met a girl through a mutual acquaintance. We ended up dating and getting serious after a while. A little over a year into the relationship it happened. She was walking home from work (she was a waitress) and was attacked at knife point. There was no alcohol involved on her part. She was dragged into the nearby woods. I do not want to go into too many details on how bad it was, but to this day the scars are still visible.
Mental anguish
When someone gets raped, there are a barrage of emotions that goes through the head. My girlfriend had felt intense anger, and fear. There were fantasies about killing the man who attacked her and random bouts of anger thrown at me every now and then. She also felt utter humiliation. The act of someone beating you and forcing their privates inside of you garners feelings of helplessness.
The worse part was the fear. When I first saw her that night she was frantic about everything. It made me feel weak and emasculated that I wasn’t there to protect her, despite not even within walking distance of her. Her attacker has not been caught yet, meaning there is the persistent fear of wondering whether this guy know where she is and if he is still watching her. She no longer works at the restaurant as a waitress.
My girlfriend had felt tarnished and filthy. She never got pregnant but did come down with an STD. It should be noted that I was the first guy she had sex with. This means her thoughts and feelings of “spoiled goods” were only enhanced. There are feelings of shame as well. Aside from me, two friends, some family members, and police authorities, no one else knows what happened to her. She thinks no one will take her seriously. “Rape happens a lot anyway right? I’m not anything new nor special. They probably won’t believe me anyway.” These were her words. She prolonged therapy for several months because she kept questioning the integrity of therapist. Suppressing these feelings enhances the mental anguish even more. It also makes the triggers worse.
Intimacy, Sex, and Triggers
When rape occurs, there are primarily two paths that the victim tends to follow in regards to sex. The first is that they become more sexual. Promiscuity and cheating for example can run rampant in some sexual assault victims. I believed some of this to be about the need to regain control and the loss of trust and respect for the opposite sex. These assertions were confirmed by some of the trauma therapist I spoke to. This really sucks for the sexual assault victims and the people they end up in a relationship with but there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
The second path is the complete opposite, meaning the loss of interest in intimacy or sex. This is what happened with my girlfriend. I of course understood the loss in sexual desire and this did not bother me. What did hurt was the loss of intimacy. I remember one night when I tried to do the nose rubbing and kissing thing she loved while rubbing her hair softly. She responded by batting me away like a fly. I unintentionally activated triggers. The memory of the attacker forcing her head to the ground.
Triggers are an interesting thing. It’s one thing to try to control what people say out of fear of offending them a la today’s overly politically correct environment. It’s another to go through something extremely traumatic and have to shut down emotionally so that you can avoid having to experience that pain again.
What can you do?
There are things you can do to help the situation if you are dating or marrying a girl that has been raped or gets raped during your relationship. This excludes your girl coming home and telling you she “made a mistake because she was drunk.”
1. While she doesn’t need to go to therapy right away, and you shouldn’t force her, you need to make sure she does at some point. If not then she will begin dissociating and the fallback from triggers will be tremendous.
2. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry or melancholic. There is even nothing wrong with tears. In fact, you could be making your girlfriend or wife more comfortable talking to you about it. Speaking of that, make sure you let her know that she can talk about it, but only when she is ready and on her terms.
3. Men are protectors so yes, feelings of shame, anger, emasculation, etc. are all normal too. You may possibly need some people to talk to as well. If you have any hobbies you like to engage in then make some time for that as well.
4. Don’t take it personally if she flips out on you or cries at random times. This is more of a good thing because pain is being let out.
In regards to the rapist, don’t worry about hunting the guy down yourself. This does nothing but indulge your ego. It will not make anyone feel better. Just see to it that the authorities punish him.
It is unfortunate to say but in spite of this, your relationship may not survive. Mine deteriorated after six months. We still talk sometimes, but the sunny disposition is no longer there. She will never be the same person again.
Read Next: What Real Rape Culture Looks Like
It seems like in America, dealing or interacting with women at any level is like playing in field full of landmines, you never know when you’ll step on one. How do you guys cope with such social conditions, no wonder men are committing suicide at an alarming rate
I imagine male rape victims would respond in similar ways after a trauma like that?
Male rape is way worse since it is usually man on man rape. Still, you will not be heard or helped by anyone anyways.
The entire prison complex runs on the fear of male on male rape. I don’t know if prison is a fuckfest of that sort or not but it certainly functions at the back of your mind as such.
Well, it is not very effective considering the US prison population. I also heard that prison rape is over estimated and any sexual encounter is considered a rape there. I haven’t studied that so I am not sure.
Unamericanized Latinas.
At the risk of being insensitive, how is this different from being a beta in today’s society?
Answer – it’s a one time thing for her.
Good point. The reason (actual) rape is so hard on a woman is because it violates, on an evolutionary level, the most valuable thing a woman has going for her: her chastity and virtue.
The most valuable thing a man has on the other hand, is his ability to provide resources and his prestige, both of which get smashed on a monthly basis following a divorce…..good luck finding help for men though.
Another one? The psychopaths are coming out of the woodwork for this one…
Dude, STFU
Can we be banning people like Spaniard? We don’t need blue-pill’ers here.
I’d argue that since a woman is quick to shit on her virtue and piss away her chastity, her sense of victimhood is misplaced.
The worst thing a rapist is guilty of is shoplifting. Fucking the skank without buying her a drink in other words.
How many real rape victims are there and how many incidents would have been avoidable had women not been living in a fantasy world where their sense of entitlement is the equivalent of iddqd?
…can’t argue with that. Shoplifting…spot-on!
No it doesn’t. On a evolutionary level, her getting raped is just one of many ways for her to fulfill her biological imperative.
1. Women fantasize about being raped.
2. They desire rough dominant sex and come harder when receiving it from dominant males.
3. Many rape victims have orgasms as well as get extremely aroused during the act.
This is all hind brain wiring. Nature could care less how she gets pregnant. And from what evidence we have, it’s obvious women evolved mentally and physically to accommodate rape as an option for procreation.
Most of the psychological stress and burdens associated with rape in the western world is cultural.
Now for any who may be stuck on stupid, this IS NOT an endorsement for rape. Just a statement of facts.
You’re asking how being cut up, beaten, and raped at knifepoint is different from not being able to get laid with good looking women?
I somewhat see where he’s coming from though, just not on the beta male stuff. Everyday men are being killed, raped and tortured in greater numbers than women. Statistics show that men are far more interested in harming other men than they are woman. Why do we need to give attention to a woman being raped as if its the end of the world? It is not any more significant than what men go through. An article on a man who has been raped in prison and what steps can be taken to avoid it would be
far more helpful to ROK readers than this.
The Fundamental Premise
nahhhh, when men are raped we just play a song about it on the radio. all good fun yeah?
No ass-clown, he’s asking how being cut up and forcibly fucked once is worse than spending an entire lifetime being marginalized by a society that only views you as valuable so long as:
-you’re invisible
-you provide for their needs at any expense, up to and including your life.
-you take the blame when things go wrong.
…they’re both bad deals, but between getting raped and living as an American man, only one of those deals come with a support group, the other is just expected.
Nailed it.
Dafuq?
A bit too much. I would posit that being cuckolded is the male equivalent to rape.
As a disclaimer, I have an older sister who was raped (lost her virginity that way and the whole school knew about it). She was majorly messed up, took a lot of it out of me and is relatively fine now although understandably neurotic.
So just saying I do have some personal experience regarding this issue.
At least she’s not a kid in Gaza
Monday – “Got raped”
Tuesday – “Got my house bulldozed”
Wednesday – “Dad got shot for being a “terrorist”
Thursday – “US Congress said I don’t exist, guess I can stop worrying.”
…thanks American tax-dollars!
At least Gazans arent in northern Iraq.
Lolz and ISIS is CIA with a Mossad leader, paid for with American tax dollars 🙂
There’s much worse things than being “a kid in gaza”. Try being a Yazidi in Iraq. Or a syrian kid.
I’ve known 2 girls who were raped, as in held-down rape-raped, not drank too much and did a 5-way raped, it is a pretty fucked up scene. It also gets you pretty pissed off at the women trying to get in on the victim card with this “oh, yeah, I was toooootally raped” song and dance.
That’s a sad story, but thank you for this article. I like how calm and well thought it is. It gives some insight how to handle a situation that I hope will not fall upon any of us.
Real rape makes my blood boil, and feminists have the nerve to twist and redefine rape as drunk sex.
Finally. Thought I was alone in a madhouse for a moment here.
There’s a special rung in hell reserved for cowards who strongarm pussy.
It is said that ,, The pussy you don’t pay for in this world, you EAT in the next.”
That topic also deserves an article here.
No doubt that if and when that article gets released on ROK the feminazi shit storm will be unreal I can just envisage now the amount of victim carding and rapist allegations that they will throw at us while completely being unable to accept any logic in the article that having drunk consensual sex is not rape but hey we all know that it isn’t the femicunts fault for getting drunk all her mistakes are everyone else’s problem.
Have you ever noticed that the feminists proclaim and preach ‘female independence’ and their own ability to make cognitive decisions yet when shit hits the fan their decisions automatically become null and void and whoever the poor male bastard is that happened to be with the woman is now vicariously liable for the cunt’s actions. That’s right boys we have arrived at the feminist hypocrisy – ” I want all the ‘rights’ and ‘status’ you have but you cant make me take any responsibility for the shit storms I create on a daily basis”.
We always joke that these women are like children but this is sadly becoming more and more of a reality every single day for example if your child is under the legal age of capacity and commits a crime or even in a more general sense breaks or vandalizes something, you, the parent are liable for the kids actions. When a woman makes the conscious decision to get drunk out her tits and then later didn’t enjoy the sex she consensually agreed to have and claims rape yep you guessed it fella its your fault, her decisions are your responsibility now.
The day that women have to take responsibility for their actions and cant pawn it off on innocent men and even other women for that matter I might maybe just maybe start to consider them as equal to men. But we all know this isn’t ever going to happen.
Time to sit back and enjoy the fucking decline.
Oh, don’t you know? If a woman and man are both drunk and have sex, only the man has agency. Only he is accountable for his actions. I’m surprised nobody has tried to create legislation preventing women from being charged with DWI. They were drunk, therefore they couldn’t choose to drive that car. Lol…
There was a “no doesn’t always mean no” article here, and as predicted, the shitstorm was wonderful to see.
Yeah I remember it, something like 2000 comments, way above average for ROK.
Lo, behold and observe, those types are pretty much no-shows on the replies section.
Because they know how it makes men’s blood boil.
Indeed, real rape is clearly wrong. That said, I would not date a rape victim. Why? Because I did and she had the most dysfunctional sexuality out of all the girls I’ve ever dated. I just don’t believe that, mentally, a girl can ever be the same after having that happen to her.
Well that’s not true.
Crazy as it may sound, not everyone is affected by rape in the same way.
Some won’t be able to leave their house and will be forever scarred by it, some will be able to move on and live a perfectly functional romantic and sexual life without much help.
That’s an aspect that has definitely been overlooked in all sides of the debate about rape, when it shouldn’t have. Does who will always suffer more from it on the long term are children, and that’s one of the main reasons most efforts should be focused on protecting them.
The fact that so many kids are victim of incest/rape just shows that we as adults fucked up somewhere, and need to think of ways to fix it.
Derailed a bit but just wanted to share my sentiment.
Drunk sex is not rape. Taking advantage of an incapacitated drunk girl IS rape.
I agree with you so much my god.
Lucky I’m not a relationship person and if I ever would become beta, I could afford to have a car so the girl wouldn’t need to walk alone.
In summary, all you need to know is end it immediately.
I’d bail. Maybe I’m a bad person, but I’d bail.
BF/GF is essentially saying, “This person is the best marriage prospect I think I’ll find, so I’m calling dibs.” That’s the best case scenario for a bf/gf situation.
Even though it’s not her fault, this clearly made her a weaker marriage prospect.
I might’ve hated myself, but I would’ve mashed “eject” right quick.
I hate to say it too, but I’d bail as well. It is true chicks are fucked up for life when genuine rape happens. It just aint worth it, man.
I too would ditch the bitch. Rape sucks but it’s not your responsibility to pick up the pieces. Should she ever find a more alpha male you being there for her all those times means Jack.
Nailed it brother.
Psychological therapy can cure the trauma, but it requires a strong mind and a really heavy catharsis process.
…if a woman doesn’t genuinely care about getting it resolved anyhow, it’s pointless anyway.
She actually has to be willing to try. And less is like throwing your time, money, & feelings down the toilet.
Good, bail, If you are so weak and heartless, don’t waste her time. She deserves a stronger man anyways…
Yeah like we all know women stick around a man when his bank account gets raped…
A real girlfriend in for the long haul would stick around if you are in a financial rough spot.
If you are having this problem you should first make sure you have some sort of attractive qualities besides your money, if you do have some great qualities, stop dating gold-digging hoes.
why so cynical?
Archie, look below my post: White Knight detected.
Its a shitty situation, but its not like you could “fix” it. Besides, a woman is given a pass for bailing when a man:
-loses his job
-acts unstable/clingy/dependent
-doesn’t “meet her emotional needs”
…good for the goose and all that.
Or, honestly, any time she finds a better option or thinks she has a good shot at finding a better option.
Good point. And, imagine if you admitted to your fiance that you were ass raped 2 years ago. How long do you think she would stick around?
Answer: No longer than it would take her to slip out the door and shut it right behind her.
Yup, and every one of her girlfriends would be right behind her talking about “0MG, sheez juss got tew l00k 0ut f0r hersellllf…”
“BF/GF is essentially saying, “This person is the best marriage prospect I think I’ll find…”
Not necessarily. For me I’ll date a girl (above one-night-standing) if the sex is good and frequent, if she’s funny (or at least has a sense of humour) and indulges in the same vices as me. It’s got zero to do with marriage and more to do with partnership (in a business sense, not romance). As soon as that partnership stops being profitable to me I move on… and it often becomes unprofitable as soon as she starts falling in love.
I concur. I don’t even think I’d last a week under that situation.
Reinhardt, my advice to you my friend is to end the relationship but to try to help the girl as a friend. This article should help – http://www.drlwilson.com/ARTICLES/RAPE.htm
Patriarchy is for women. The Muslim Sharia “no unescorted women” thing is for this. Not to oppress them, to protect them. This is awful stuff, should never happen, but it’s not a perfect world, and measures need to be taken to make the best of things.
We live in a system based on deprivation and desperation, so women NEED to work. If the girl was safe at home, she’d be just that- safe at home.
Every time I hear “patriarchy oppresses men too!” I think, “Fuck that- feminism oppresses women.”
Working isn’t a privilege. Whenever I hear someone talk about working for slave wages as a liberating, empowering experience all I can see is the “Arbeit Macht Frei” gate.
When most people lack a strong family with land and resources this is the world we live in. That’s what peasant revolts and revolutions used to be about, because they could see this shit for what it was. Nowadays people accept jokes like mortgages and votes as true enfranchisement and the result is a world of slaves.
In a flood of comments by white knights and chivalrous dudes as if this were the 50s, yours and a couple others are the only ones I’ve seen that “get it”.
This is a crushing story, but what truly saddens me is that it will never see the light of day for those outside of ROK. Many women seem to be under the idea that we enjoy raping women and would treat them horribly, and that we somehow think it is the fault of rape victims that they themselves are raped. Nothing could be further from the truth, ROK is a place where men, can come and improve themselves all while discussing numerous matters, simply because we do not nod our heads in agreement with the politically accepted mantra that everyone must agree with, lest you be a savage. When reading this article you can truly understand the author’s sadness for not being able to protect his woman when she was not around him, my heart goes out to him and his loved one.
Well-said and I agree. My heart goes out to his girlfriend and I hope that she can overcome this and find happiness. A real man is not a rapist and whoever did rape her deserves a lifetime in hell.
It often sucks that we get labeled as misogynists. We are merely people that promote lifelong improvement. We do not like people who are fat or make excuses because they are weak and unwilling to improve. We do not like the politically correct because they are only enabling the wicked. The more time we spend hunting down the men who took part in inebriated coitus, the less time we spend trying to find and stop real offenders. Women who offer up respect to us will receive equal parts love in return.
Hard to follow up a great comment like that!
Who cares what we are labeled as? Labels are only relevant to those mental weaklings affected by them… Women and children. The accusation of misogyny is the equivalent of a schoolyard insult. It is of no consequence.
Agreed.
Unfortunately, the victim/modern feminist thought process and mentality is devoid of crediting the average man with being a good man and genuinely concerned with a woman’s well-being in most cases.
If anything, so many men now are too cowardly and timid to commit such a heinous crime a rape or serious physical harm.
Instead, only focusing on the actions of a statistically insignificant few and using that as the “go-to” reference for a whole gender, then turning it into a self-righteous crusade against a perceived, fictional epidemic.
We are at the point where some go so far as to try to prevent boys from growing up with natural, healthy masculinity, to attempt to rid them of their “violent nature.”
What a bizarre, messed up country we live in.
It is true, the victimization mentality is rampant in today’s world. And through trying to remove masculinity they end societal advancements achieved by men and their male drive. Surely you know of our intelligence being much more varied than that of a woman’s however, instead of appreciating that the highs allow humanity and our quality of life to increase exponentially they choose to focus on the lows which will arise also as a result of intelligence variation. All the great scientists, artists and thinkers have all been men, and from an evolutionary standpoint this occurs so that women will also find us more attractive. Shit, we even came up with tampons for them, but they can’t appreciate how far we’ve brought the human race.
what a moving speech. just a little spoiled by the constant chatter of “dumb that bitch” or “girls who get raped become whores” which is going on in the rest of this discussion board. but hey! thumbs up for the nice try.
Thanks, intent is everything, there are guys on ROK all about white supremacy, some guys just want to bang, and others just want to find a great girl, it’s what makes this community so dynamic and provides multiple perspectives to look from which is never a bad thing.
Teach your girlfriends to shoot , get them a gun and permit, and these things will be far less likely of occurring.
There are states where that is still illegal.
http://articles.philly.com/2014-08-07/news/52519339_1_gun-charges-evan-nappen-intervention-program
Then a high powered stun gun, taser, pepper spray gun, or blade will do.
I think the US should run its armed services like Israel- in that everybody should be a trained member of the military. Every citizen armed, every citizen prepared, then the politicos can’t use fear to promote their military policies.
Aside from that, no more fatties, no more wimps, no more easy marks for criminals.
Dude, take a look a the US military. Its a fully feminized, PC-friendly fat-camp.
That’s because chicks in the military is politicized. The problem is the agenda. Every girl in the military is an opportunity to prove a point. If they all had to be there it’d become a simple matter of how best to use them. None of them would be a G.I. Jane barrier breaking hero, they’d be just another maggot for R. Lee Ermey to shout at.
The Swiss military was the model for the founders. A militia that defends its lands rather than embarking on wars of conquest and plunder. The level of marksmanship is incredible there. Hitler called off his invasion of Switzerland. He realized that his soldiers would be getting picked off left and right.
True. When the Kaiser once asked a Swiss diplomat what they would do if a Prussian battalion outnumbering the Swiss two-to-one showed up through the Alps he simply replied “shoot twice and go home”.
No the Swiss hid German loot.
Every citizen fully ready and able to shoot fish in a barrel. Of course, when it comes to a war with – say – Lebanon, with people armed and ready to defend their country, it’s a different story.
Is Mexico coming for us? Is Canada coming for us?
I’m not following your train of thought here
A good and greatly needed article. An ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. Let us all take this as our own warning when thinking about women in our lives.
inb4armchairalphas “I only care about me fuh fuh fuh”
I ran into a couple cases like that last year. One was particularly mind-boggling. She kept encouraging me to keep trying but she was tense every muscle in her body and become like a piece of rock.
Being raped is the #1 female sex fantasy. Can you imagine that being your top fantasy? Women are so messed up. The reason lots of women feel guilty after being raped is because sometimes her body will respond positively to it. What’s unspoken is that some women report climaxing during rape, including women who can’t normally orgasm. I’m sure this is tied to our animal past somehow, and has to do with hard-wiring in old parts of the brain. Natural selection rewards successful reproduction; it does not care how it happens. In the animal world, for example, alpha males usually don’t ask for sex. Now I’m not suggesting you should rape anyone, and I certainly am not “pro” rape (stay out of prison, kids), just pointing out an uncomfortable fact. We have laws. The Red Pill is about confronting politically incorrect truths, and that’s why I pointed it out.
Get back to Wickedfire you spoof 🙂
That is a very valid point. 5 out of 6 women admit to fantasizing about being raped. The 6th women is a pathological liar.
With any fantasy that you have you can stop it at any point. You can even die and be mentally unharmed. Although if you die in real life thinking anything is kind of off the table. I never dream of dieing after rape I had just put that as an example. Also who ever you fantasize about or have rough sex with is usually someone you know about or trust.
Definitely true. But that conflict is played out at levels below actual rape as well. Women may well respond to forcefulness, men taking the lead, or just being men. None of those thing have anything to do with rape as long as ultimately the act is mutual / consensual. I emphasis mutual though as feminism has tried to take over consent, in order to define it as radically opposed to mutual / reciprocal male / female relationships as possibles, and will no doubt continue to make things increasingly difficult simply because of the power that flows from so doing. What this means is that rape has come to symbolise the paradigmatic conflict within women; namely between the conscious mind that feminism has sought to seduce with expectations of radical self-determination impossible for either men or women to achieve and the unconscious mind / body that responds to normal age old sexual stimuli, including rough sex.
rough sex and rape are not the same thing, that’s like saying two men who beat each other to near death in a cage match is the same as getting jumped in the street. With a prepared match it’s likely both parties know what there getting into have copious experience and are very much into the experience on a regular basis.
Sorry I meant to reply to that post one before this one.
I’m saying that the feminists are seeking to define sex and consent in a way that is quite idealistic and legalistic rather than grounded in the real world where the complexities of sex are negotiated (i.e. the man and woman may have different / shared desires, expectations etc, and will have to negotiate those as part of establishing consent). Ordinary women to the extent that they are influenced by this feminist discourse will seek to regulate their sexual encounters accordingly but in doing so their actual desires take second place. This necessarily creates a conflict between what they believe sex should be like and what they may actual desire. I am not really offering an opinion here on what women ‘really desire’ which is a separate although interesting debate. I also think feminists taking control of the debate on consent is a disaster for both men and women not just for men.
That doesn’t make it any less traumatizing…
I think the real reason it is traumatizing to some women is because they expect it to be because that’s the socially conditioned reaction.
I have never heard of top women’s fantasy is being raped. I witnessed my friend being gang raped in primary school. Boys made me feel sick, I didn’t feel safe at school and I wanted to go to God. Unfortunately, I suffered from the fear of being raped. I had to climb over the school fence to get aways from these bad boys. I had to run away from guys that threaten to rape me on 2 other occasions. I was a very attractive girl and I got far too much male attention. It was only last year that I was able to tell my mother, husband and close friends about my girlfriend been raped. Sexual abuse is a chronic illness which I have to live with for the rest of my life. Fortunately, I married a supportive husband.
That is probably the real reason why rape is very underreported. Also, because of this, I think most of the supposed trauma caused by rape is precisely because society conditions women to have that reaction. If trauma is the natural reaction to rape, then rape fantasies make no sense.
Since western women are conditioned from birth to find rape repulsive, but at the same time have rape fantasies and then if they get raped, they orgasm, it causes cognitive dissonance. This cognitive dissonance may actually be the source of the mental trauma women feel after rape, assuming that they do.
This is typical of how our fucked up society creates a bigger problem out of a small one. I use to date a French girl who was raped once. She was able to talk about and it was never a big deal to her. It was the same as if she had fallen off a bike. Our puritanical attitude towards sex is what really screwed up your ex. Had everyone said, hey it’s terrible that it happened but it’s no big deal she would be fine right now. Imagine, we everyone ran around screaming when a kid fell off of bike what would happen to that kid. It’s the exact same thing that happens to a rape or any crime victim. We mentally screw them over 10 times worse than whatever actually happened after the fact.
Bingo. On goldmund unleashed he was writing about how in Mexico tiny little kids fall on rocks and the old ladies don’t bat an eye. The kids know they’re not getting special attention unless they need real help (read: hospital).
People gotta live- bad stuff from my past only harmed me for as long as I allowed it to. Granted, I’ve never been knifed or raped, but every day there’s a choice to move forward, stand still or go backward, and only one of those choices will help you..
I grew up in South America and this is exactly how I grew up. As long as you could walk it wasn’t something you cried about.
There is a significant difference between falling on rocks or off a bike and being (genuinely) raped. Rape is a form of assault and treated like a crime, period (as it well should be). Notwithstanding agreement regarding the puritanical qualities of America and what this environment does to people, you got some really weird views about the kinds of things people should just “shake off”. perhaps getting savagely beaten or even shot should also just be shaken off, as it’s no big deal really, and others simply inflate it out of proportion. When life is cheap, why not?
Let’s assume your were shot at, savagely beaten, then raped. How does dwelling on it and living as victim help you in any way? Is it going to undo what has happened? You cannot change the past. The ONLY thing you have control of is how you think of your past in the present. You can either put it behind you or allow it to beat you up continuously for the rest of your life. And believe me, that’s much worse than whatever beaten or raping anyone can do to you. That only happens once, what you will do to yourself will happen for years and years.
Ok yeah, that’s fine. I understand and agree on that part. The point was that you made it out as if society was being too touchy-feely around these crimes when in fact a healthy and honest reaction does involve genuine outrage at what has been done to those people. That said, friends and relatives should also not neurotically pathologize the experience to the point where the victim becomes mentally handicapped for life following such tragic events. So I think we are actually quite in agreement here.
Communication is a tricky thing even when speaking the same language 🙂
I was amazed at the extreme tolerance of people in Argentina..and how much of a whiny bitch I was taught to be in the US. Which country are you from?
Closure in such circumstances generally involved the family and friends of the raped going round to the house of the rapist and killing them. The law doesn’t allow for that anymore.
Well, the day you get raped and someone says “hey, el Amante, it’s no big deal!”, don’t get angry at people for being insensitive. Rape is, wherever you are, a crime and an awful thing to experience. I can only imagine what it must feel like after being raped. It’s nothing to joke with.
Actually, I was. I was raped when I was about 10 yrs old. But you have the power to decide how your pass will affect you in the present. I chose not to allow it to affect me in a negative manner. We cannot undo our past but we can prevent it from undoing our future.
Were you raped in the ass?
A lot of truth in your comment. Very, very important point about past/future.
I have yet to see anyone say that rape is not a significant and damaging event—if anything, the opposite. Certainly the author made it clear as well.
Subjects like this always bring out the emotional gun-jumpers who overreact and have no sense of context.
He’s not saying it’s not a bad thing. But we make it worse when we treat it they way we do. Wallowing in pity never helped anyone. They (rape victims) need to pick themselves up and focus on enjoying the rest of their lives. And they need their loved ones to help them do this.
What a fvcking fvck wad you are. Who the Fvck are you to tell rape victims what to do. Priceless. What a fvcking vile loser you are. And you wonder why women (and most men!) think MRAs are dangerous, hateful people.
“Frankly, I think I’d rather be gang raped in the arse than, say, have my hand broken.” I hope your wish comes true very very soon.
a) I didn’t wish for anything.
b) I’ve never identified as an “MRA”. Why would you think that?
c) I’m not telling anyone what to do.
d) You seem nice.
e) I hope you remember that you just wished rape upon someone.
Um, because your profile is not on private, anyone can peruse your commenting history. Hence, the MRA remark. You’re a sick individual who promotes violence towards women. Men like you need to be taught how to behave in civilized society. You likely have very few friends and an ex wife who had a better lawyer than you or some such thing that made you blame everything on women. Get a life. And it was YOU who wished rape upon yourself dimwit. I hope your wish comes true. Soon. By some big hairy man prisoners. 🙂 have a nice day.
Sorry, when did i wish to be raped? Doesn’t that make it not rape if you want it to happen? Because I said I would rather be raped than have my hand broken? I would rather have neither happen to me!
You just wished rape upon me the second time. I hope you remember this in the future.
If you think my comments on sites like A voice for men make me an MRA, then do my comments on Jezebel make me a feminist too? Or my comments on this site for that matter, which is not exactly on good terms with the MHRM.
No I’ve never been married. I’m in my 20s for one thing, and I’m not stupid for another.
“You’re a sick individual who promotes violence towards women”
Example? One instance where I have promoted violence against women? Go on, go through my comment history, I’m waiting. You’re the one wishing rape upon me, I’ve not wished any harm upon anyone, I’ve not even called anyone a name, you’ve aimed several insults at me in just two comments.
If you want to find a “sick individual who promotes violence” – then I suggest you reread your own comments, then take look in the mirror.
Your response does not surprise me. You are the type of person who says something and then denies saying it (ie your wish to be butt-raped rather than having your hand broken). Your comments on Jezebel do not make you a feminist because your comments are anti-feminism.
Your comments about what a woman needs after being raped are ludicrous. You are not a qualified professional. To make bashing feminism a past time when only in your 20s is very telling. If it’s true, then that is really troubling. Most guys in their 20s understand the need for feminism. My child is in her 20s and going to college and not ONE of her male friends is anti-feminism. Because they are not THREATENED by women and women’s equality in the work place.
People like you don’t understand feminism and the need for it. You cherry pick comments by someone who may say something considered radical and offensive to you and then declare that that is how all feminists think.
Why this particular issue? Is feminism really so threatening to you? You really feel like your
rights are being stomped on because women want equal pay for equal
work? I find it interesting that guys your age are pushing back against equality. Please tell me why you feel so threatened.
I’m not denying saying that I’d rather be raped than have my hand broken. I said that and I stand by it. That does not mean I want to be raped. It’s not even possible to want to be raped, otherwise it isn’t rape then is it? I’d rather have my foot broken than have my hand broken too, that is not an invitation break my foot. Understand?
Let’s go through what you said but I’m getting tired of this:
a) I’m not “threatened” by women, women are tiny, I’m over 6 foot. Why would you think I’m threatened by women? Besides, if we truly do live in a male dominated society then I have even less reason to be threatened by powerless women don’t I?
b) ” Is feminism really so threatening to you? ” – No it’s not. Feminism isn’t threatening to me at all. When did I say/act like I was threatened by it?
c) “You really feel like your rights are being stomped on because women want equal pay for equal work?” – No I don’t. Why do you think that? Totally reasonable request.
d) ” I find it interesting that guys your age are pushing back against equality” – No I’m not. When have I pushed back against equality? huzzah for gender equality I say.
“Your comments on Jezebel do not make you a feminist because your comments are anti-feminism.”
Are they anti-feminism? I can’t seem to find them. Here, seeing as you enjoy sifting through my commenting history, you can have a look, and let me know when you find some of my anti-feminism comments:
http://acebean27.kinja.com/
I’ve no doubt you think your comments make for extremely absorbing reading material because you have such a brilliant mind. I can assure you, though, from what little I’ve read, they’re quite boring, sophomoric and even dangerous.
Anyone who posits that women who were raped are “wallowing in self pity” and offers the advice to “pick themselves up and focus on enjoying the rest of their lives” clearly does not understand the psychology of rape. Your comments are irresponsible and harmful. When I read that I was incensed. How dare you, you irresponsible little turd. Grow the fuck up.
You said my comments were anti feminism. Which ones? Quote one which is anti-feminism was my challenge.
I didn’t realize you were the world expert on the psychology of rape. Perhaps you could explain why I am wrong rather than calling me names? That would be more constructive methinks.
I stand by that for victims of any tragedy, be it rape or the death of a loved one, the best thing you can do is pick yourself up and carry on as soon as possible. That’s what I did when my Father died when I was child, that’s what my Mum did when she was raped when she was younger – it actually inspired her to become a police officer, which is a pretty damn awesome response to it I think.
I actually think you may have misunderstood me now, I wasn’t criticizing rape victims for “wallowing in self pity”, or anything like that, I was saying that we shouldn’t encourage them to do so. In my opinion. No I’m not an expert, I’ve had some experience with victims of rape and other traumatic experiences, and in my experience the best way to react to someone who has experienced such a thing (some time after the event itself), is not to pour pity on them, but to go to the cinema or make them laugh or play some sport with them. Something fun. Wallowing on the event, whatever it was, has always seemed like the absolute wort thing you can do,
If you think this makes me an awful person, then fine, we’ll agree to disagree, but I’m not the one insulting people, nor am I the one wishing rape upon people. I’m the one trying to offer what I think to be constructive advice. If it’s actually terrible advice, then that would be unfortunate, but I’m not trying to hurt anyone, despite what you seem to think.
Don’t feed the Cunt Troll.
I agree with this. Alot of how you respond to things is culturally biased. And a big part of Feminism is telling women how rape is the worst thing that could ever happen to them and how men are always raping women (all sex is rape!). I suspect the real traumatizing part is more the extreme violence. I had a mugger try to rob me by hitting me with a metal pipe when I wasnt expecting it. For two weeks afterwards I couldn’t stand anyone coming up from behind me..joggers made me literally jump. I’m thankful it happened though I was a fool who wasnt aware of his surroundings, and didnt have the knowledge that there are people ready to kill you as if you were a fly. That said Ive known women who have been raped and it does usually push them to the extremes of sexuality..slut or prude.
As a vet I am often tempted to tell these PTSD fuckers to quit malingering. I really don’t get it. Yes, when a helicopter flies by I might have a little flashback. No, it doesn’t run my life. My grandad saw hundred upon hundreds die at Iwo. He was FINE. Absolutely FINE. He could talk about it plainly and rationally. Some people jjust don’t do trauma. Its not an option for them. But I relent. Maybe some people just don’t do stoicism. Stoicism is not an option for them. Maybe they’re not weak for being ruined by trauma. I dunno. Too hard to tell and so much at stake. Some things are worth being a cocky judgmental asshole about, and some things require reservation in judgement. I do know for a fact that some people fake PTSD, malingering.
There are real physiological effects on the rape victim. While the exact effects will vary with the type of rape, in general rape:
1. Weakens the adrenals.
2. Raises estrogens significantly.
3. Damages the thyroid gland.
4. Damages the spinal alignment.
5. Reduces one’s nutrient level of zinc and selenium.
6. Increases the body load of arsenic, cadmium, copper and perhaps other toxic metals found in male semen.
7. Stresses the cardiovascular system and heart, in particular – both the physical heart and the emotional heart.
8. Deranges the nervous system, as explained below.
9. Upsets digestion and elimination, as part of upsetting the autonomic nervous system.
10. Damages the immune response by introducing infections, causing wounds, bleeding and other ways.
11. Seriously depletes subtle or etheric energy by several means. This can shorten one’s life.
Very valid point and worthy of discussion. I really wonder how much of an impact societal coddling had on the victims outlook.
Plenty of women raped during the last world war (by the allies, btw) and from what literature I’ve seen, it was hardly an earth shattering event.
Had the discussion once and was asked “what if you were raped in prison”… Whole ‘nother ball game because of the homosexual component and the fact that by nature, man is the dominant gender, and to be subjugated is humiliating in itself.
Apples and oranges.
I agree. It’s like the placebo effect. If I give you a sugar pill and tell you it will cure your arthritis and you sincerely believe it is real medication and it will cure your arthritis and you take it and lo and behold, your arthritis pain goes away, it’s not that the sugar pill did anything, it’s the belief that it did something.
Likewise with rape. Women in the west are conditioned from cradle to grave to believe that if they are raped, it will be the most traumatic experience one can ever have. Since they sincerely believe it to be true, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
There may be some truth to this.
I once dated a girl that was raped at the age of 14. When I met her she was 19 – already was a hard smoker, had 2 tats, and a serios baggage of menthal shit. Of course at time was thinking myself to be Captain Save A Hoe. ,, I can save this bitch” i said to myself – i’ll just explain to her that it isn’t that important, that she just needs to detach emotionally from that experience, eat healty, excersise etc. After seeing my Beta Saviour mode, of trying to help her cope with her past demons, she did the most beautiful and out of the blue gesture – she fucking dumped me – ,,eah go fuck yo’ self Mr. I can save any bitch”. Fuck that shit !!! Whenever I hear of a women beeing fucked with, or having some swort of mental ilness, i quickly mark that bitch with the label ,,TOXIC WASTE”. I will never try to help a bitch again.
Don’t ever try to help a woman that was raped as a child. Or as an adult.
There is no help for them, especially not from a man. The best they can do is seek lifelong psychological counseling and keep experimenting with a drug cocktail until they get one that provides some psychological relief.
If you do get mixed up with one of these women, mark my words, no matter how sweet or into sex or whatever she appears, she will eventually (within a matter of months usually) take all of her anger out on you. That will 99 of 100 times come out such a twisted way that you will think you are mixed up with a vampire.
Stay the fuck away from them.
Do feminists want to experience real rape culture? They should move to Pakistan, or Somalia, or Afghanistan.
I have to say this has hit me hard.
One of the girls in my current lab is Ukrainian, long legged, blonde, blue-eyed, slender…and I have been trying relentlessly to get her into bed…
I thought she was just a picky slut or “not THAT girl” i.e. I just needed to try harder…but then I was told she never dates or has been intimate with a guy in public by her peers who have known her for six years.
This is what got me thinking:
“The second path is the complete opposite, meaning the loss of interest in intimacy or sex.”
I think the girl in my lab was sexually assaulted. What a waste.
I’ll try your suggestions…but now that I know what might be up, I just don’t want the hassle to ‘rehabilitate’ her…just for one night…it seems like a lot of work.
It is not worth it.
Also, never go anywhere near a woman that was sexually molested as a child. It fucks them up forever.
Agreed. The girl I mentioned above she was molested as a child by a peer (Fuck grade 3). She’d shake if you touched her intimately and would only let you touch her if she was buzzed.
So she got PTSD from playing “doctor”?
That’s a new one.
Amen. Men who do so are in for a life of movie script type epic failure.
Oh bull. My wife was raped at 7 years old and she’s fine. She saw a counselor as a teenager, only felt the need to talk about it once or twice with me. It’s had no impact on our sexual relationship and she’s not a traumatized little waif. The only chicks who make a big deal out of it are the ones who are conditioned to think that they should scream and faint every time a man touches them.
Society does not function according to it’s exceptions. Likewise, Anecdote does not equal Data. I am confident your experience, if true, is rare.
Truth.
The storm is over. The lessons are learned. Game another virgin. You’ll be fine. Regretably a partner spoiled in that way can’t just wipe herself clean no more than any girl can wipe herself and be new like a virgin. Who’s zoomin’ who? Find a new virgin and teach her that if she’s ever attacked to FIGHT or FLIGHT. There’s also a third response little mentioned which is to SHUT DOWN or play possum. This has explained a few sole survivors of airline disasters found wandering around like zombies when everyone else was mangled. They SHUT IT DOWN. In rape I wouldn’t advise shutting down only as a last resort. I would tell my girl to act coy if hopelessly pinned down. Act sweet and tell him you’ll suck him first and that your stripper friends will hook with him later. Then when his blacksnake is in your venus flytrap mouth, BITE DOWN LIKE A PITBULL. GNARL YOUR HEAD LIKE A BEE BOP DANCE AND RIP IT OFF. Spit the uncooked chitterling out and then go back to the blood spray and have some BALLS FOR DESERT. Phtooooey. Hey at least you can wash your mouth out with scope and you saved your primary and most important hole for YOUR MAN. Like dying for your man, THAT’S ALSO FEMININE.
I don’t remember who studied it, but it was a look at violent rapists. Very few (even in war zones) attempt to put their dicks in a gal’s mouth until she’s ‘beaten’ down. Well, either that or drugged, same difference.
Men don’t want to lose their package, and while many women won’t bite (fear of being killed) that’s a risk most rapists won’t take. Now, when a girl is ‘beaten’ (gives up due to shock / mental trauma) it’s not an issue anymore. Most violent rapes don’t have this time frame though, as they are short term attacks.
In war zones, however, women can be raped repeatedly in a vicious manner. This eventually leads to the woman just giving up after the tenth or twelfth rape. At that point she’s so ‘beaten’ that they quite often cease emotional response, or any response. (they just lay there staring off in space)
These ‘men’ (rapists) are the scum, but they quite often aren’t stupid.
I had a friend who was violently raped. The guy grabbed her on her way back from class (off campus), pulled her into an alley, and didn’t waste time. He used his knife to cut her pants / panties open enough for access, and raped her bent over, knife to her throat. The whole attack, beginning to him finishing was probably 5 minutes. He never said a word except for ‘scream and I kill you here’ and a bit of grunting.
She was very afraid for a long time. They never did catch him as far as I know. They have his DNA on file now. He gave her the clap, 4 scars (including a very ‘nice’ one where he used the knife to cut her pants / panties), and a cracked jaw. I’d kill the guy, and I wasn’t even dating her. I can only imagine what her bf felt like. I know my gf at the time didn’t want to go anywhere alone for weeks.
See Pakistani Paedophile gangs in Rochdale and Oxford:
“In war zones, however, women can be raped repeatedly in a vicious manner. This eventually leads to the woman just giving up after the tenth or twelfth rape. At that point she’s so ‘beaten’ that they quite often cease emotional response, or any response. (they just lay there staring off in space)”
There are no front lines.
Just imagining this happening to my girlfriend I feel great pain.
Reinhardt, this was a great article. Ill be looking forward to more.
Lol… Please. Bail on the bitch now. Trust me you don’t want to be ‘that guy’. What I mean is, you don’t want to be that shoulder she ‘cries’ on. To be honest with you, rape is a common feature of many societies and one many women in the West wear as a ‘badge of honour’, given that many of them have rape fantasies and gleefully exploit any opportunity to unabashedly tell their sexual history of ‘abuse’. I don’t know the details, but it just seems odd and out of place. Walking alone (after a long shift at night as a waitress), attacked at knife point in an isolated area where no one heard her scream, and absolutely 0 witnesses?
Also the absolute certainty you were her first (I mean did she bleed on the sheets?) and how do you know she wasn’t fucking anyone on the side? Let’s get real here for a second, we’re talking about an Anglo woman or worse… an American woman. Now, you’ve already pedestalised her to the point of even believing she could do no wrong, like fuck a guy, feel ashamed afterwards, because maybe it was a bit rough and contracting an STD. There are just two many variables left out to really take her seriously. The attacker still isn’t caught and it seems given the background of your scenario, you may reside in a small town, where the people are twice as likely to be identified?
Lastly, I don’t take most people in this society who claim to have ‘PTSD’ seriously. We live in a society of pussified men and lying whores. Example, the Soviet Union went through a period where 27 +million people died in a four year time period, and men on both sides went back to their wives and children in a seemingly normal fashion, not trying to soak the state of benefits for life. 5 million East Prussian women were raped (real rape) by the Soviet hordes, and hardly any of them were looking for some sympathy from their Western occupiers nor trying to publicise their suffering. So sorry guy, I don’t take your bitch seriously, especially not in today’s culture where so many lying whores, lie for the sake of money, sympathy, shame or plainly to destroy great men i.e. Kobe Bryant.
Don’t you know evil hooded rapists simply magically appear out of the bushes, do their dirty deed, and then mysteriously disappear right back into them never to be seen or heard from again. It is as is as if the bushes themselves actually spawn them and reabsorb them after the fact. Spooky.
On a more serious note, I have never heard of any genuine rape occurring anywhere around me, nor to anybody I personally know of – both close and extended. While I’m sure some rare isolated instances still occur nowadays, they are nowhere near as prevalent as made out be by those having a vested financial interest in keeping the fantasy alive and well.
That was the final conclusion in the Central Park Five. We are to believe that a serial rapist turned up after a gang of men battered the Central Park Jogger. Rolling my eyes. They didn’t jack roll her, no sir.
Mad nigger, be mad.
Lol… cute.
Lance is half black you racist shithead.
Oh, did you come to that conclusion by simply swallowing his cum? Does your taste buds detect DNA or did you master this incredible ability through experience… and training?
I will eagerly wait for you reply, goy.
Sounds like youre the faggot since you seem to know so much about gay sex.
Mad faggot, be mad.
And on a previous article Lance said himself that he was half black.
Haha, you are white knighting a man. Jesus.
I haven’t seen anything more beta or pathetic, and in the times we live in that is saying much.
The fact that she got an STD is a bit suspicious. Girls with boyfriends will yell rape if they get an std or have group sex and dont want their beta guy to break up with her. It happens all the time.
There’s a possibility it could have happened but I agree with you. If it was a small town this would be very easy to catch. Most people would know who would commit a crime like that. Also, if she got an std they could cross check anyone male that got that specific std ir treatment for it in the area for a year or 6 months.
You could make the argument that the collective trauma of ww2 was such that absolutely every European shared it. It Became background noise. I’m not sure where you are connecting the trauma of a relatively benign sheltered crime victim to that of a mass experience like ww2. The only people unaffected by ww2 in Europe are the Swiss, Irish and Swedes. All the civilians in Europe had direct contact with occupation, bombing or the front line rolling over them. If not that then they lost a dad or a brother.
I’m pretty sure my grandfather who served in both World Wars was driven to alcohol by it all. Probably realized he’d wasted a lot of effort on the wrong people.
Anyway, yeah the STD infection does sound like the motive for a false claim.
And the Spaniards. Otherwise, spot on.
Did you major in watching CSI?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1389435/YMCA-rape-Girl-11-pregnant-contracts-STD.html#comments-1389435
A rape with added STD.
I’m often accused of being racist because I appear to dislike black people. This is incorrect. I dislike stupid people and many blacks are stupid.
You however get the J.Jiggler seal of approval. I agree with all your points 100% and are one of the commenters I look forward to reading (no homo).
It’s hard to have a higher than average IQ in 2014. Must be brutal to be a black man of higher than average IQ.
Keep preaching brother. Some of us appreciate your eloquent posts.
Don’t marry ever. But especially do not ever marry a woman that has been raped!
I should clarify that I am talking about REAL rape. Violent rape. Not the bull shit feminist notion of date rape.
Real rape will scar a woman for life. If there ever is a recovery, it will be well after her usefulness to you as a wife, or even a girlfriend, is well past. She’ll be too old by that time.
The reality of how damaging REAL rape really is highlights how sick and disgusting it is that feminists call all manner of consensual sex “rape.” Feminists and any politician or college administrator that participates in calling consensual sex “rape” should be shamed. And, if we were actually a sane country, jailed.
Agreed. This one girl I knew she was struggling very hard to get past this, and could only have sex with a couple of tequila shots in her.
I remember once when my hand brushed her bare thigh, she was on her knees she started to shake, visibly shake and then went into a fetal position.
What was odd was she was perfectly fine in front of our male friends, even hugging male friends – but as soon as it came to intimacy time, she’d break down.
That’s hott!
Before women started running the system we used to hang rapists.
Yeah, but false rape accusations existed too sadly.
How about a compromise? Public whippings.
Only if a prison sentence goes with it.
Practical Tip: A lot of women who have been sexually assaulted get into BDSM, ex post facto, as subs–and before anyone freaks out, I don’t WRITE the news, I just REPORT it. Does that mean every sub has been raped? No; women trend submissive anyway, but it’s something to be aware of.
À bientôt,
Mistral
Once a girl gets raped she instantly becomes a whore. You should have dumped her straight away.
Don’t forget to do what is right for you. Marrying and signing up to support and care for a quadraplegic may feel like a noble thing to do at the time, but aren’t you just going to resent the fuck out of her in 20 years? If a girl is damaged goods, dude – you have to decide whether sacrificing your future happiness for this person is something you really want to do.
You’ve raised an excellent point.
It’s very tempting as a man for a number of reasons (including honestly unselfish ones) to rescue and/or try to bring normalcy and health to a broken or damaged woman’s life again, but in many cases the consequences are just more heartbreak.
Any man considering doing so should read some of the stories out there about men who have tried to do so and have suffered greatly for it. It will really open your eyes; plenty of red-pill truths are there to be seen.
One of the few times I’ll recommend something written by a woman, but get Dr. Laura’s “10 Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives” and read the White Knight chapter. The rest of the book you can toss.
At its core, rape is an act of power, not sex.
Any guy can pay for play, but by raping a person, one can fill an inner void through the temporal power given by the act.
One problem not mentioned is that a raped person has the sexuality of another person forcefully implanted in their self.
I appreciate the article you wrote. It’s very unfortunate, and I’m sure it pained you greatly to be next to someone but couldn’t do more for her.
Some parallels to less tragic events, as well.
For example, men who have married women with past sexual abuse (unbeknownst to the man, in most cases) mistreat their husband/partner and use sex like a toy or a means of punishing them for crimes of the past.
In those cases it almost always seems months or years go by with him struggling to just to get “pity sex”, baffled by why his efforts to treat her better don’t seem to work. If anything, her behavior can be bizarre, like a hot-and-cold game, or reacting in strange ways to things he says or does….or for no apparent reason at all! Like struggling to put together a puzzle that someone’s thrown away the instructions for.
Unfortunately, unless a woman actually is willing to confront the issue (this assumes she actually cares about her partner and not just her own problems) there’s basically no practical reason to stay. Cut your losses and move on.
Any man I know is decent and does not want to see a woman suffer emotional & phsychological damage, but honestly it’s a bit selfish on woman’s part to make their genuinely concerned, loving mate pay for something someone else did, whatever the cause.
You can fight an uphill battle to just try to get things back to almost having a normal relationship & sexual intimacy, or realize you’re better off starting over with someone generally happy and without major issues.
Sad, but that’s life. Just being realistic.
Women are selfish and self-absorbed??? Stop the presses!!!
Society teaches “Don’t get raped””
That’s good advice. Society teaches “don’t leave you car running or it will get stolen”. Society teaches “Don’t walk down MLK Dr. in the middle of the night”. If I was to have my car stolen and ass beat at 2am on MLK Dr. would ‘society’ care? Would anyone “Take back the night” with me? Would they blame me –The Victim—for my victimization? You’re good damn right they would and they’d be right to do so. Well guess what, cunts, “don’t get raped”. I have no sympathy for some chick who drinks 12 Yager Bombs and wakes up in the shitter with a half dozen used condoms in her fuck-holes. No, I will not be “Taking back the night” with you. And while the perpetrator deserves to be brought to justice for his crimes, your victimization, like the guy who got his ass kicked on MLK Dr., would not have happened if you were not so god damn stupid.
How do you know that hunting the guy down won’t make you feel better? I understand it might not be an option if you simply have no idea who did it, but it seems like the entire village getting out the torches and pitchforks is a great way to discourage future rape.
Problem with that is the aftermath.
A guy I knew from my secondary school is in prison now because he took revenge on someone who raped his girlfriend and carved the rapist up with a knife.
He was never particularly violent as far I remember. Was pretty normal tbh, but it would appear that someone raping his love ones turned him psychotic enough to enact premeditated violence without a thought for how it would impact his future, and his partners.
The best approach is always to go for cold vengeance that takes away their freedoms with the law.
If that doesn’t work, well…
I’m not entirely sure I myself would be able to remain stable after that double whammy, so I can’t really say much with conviction about what to do after the law fails.
My ex had been raped at some festival when she was 16 and on top of it all, lost her virginity to it after holding sex off from her boyfriend at the time.
let’s just say that she took the first route. She was a really sweet girl, whom I ended up finding out, fucked basically all of her old roommate’s friends.
After over 18 months of trying to fix her and her crazy emotional discharges, going from super sexual to withholding intimacy “I’m not as sexual as u!”, we ended up breaking up. Just a few weeks before, she had finally “confessed” the whole thing to her family, which had known nothing about and started going to a psychologist.
So yes, I agree. Bail. But easier said then done, when we’re talking about a hot blonde.
All heart, this guy.
Easier after your experience, I would say. There are plenty of other hot blondes and Life is the best teacher.
The feminist redefinition of rape and all their bellyaching and false accusation fraud has me completely indifferent to the real thing. Just can’t bring myself to care anymore.
If I saw it going down I might call the cops but I sure as fuck wouldn’t get involved. I guess the whole “women are strong and independent” mantra is a complete success. I’m a true believer I guess.
Besides if men and women are equal/the same, then technically the rapist is only raping himself and since a sexual act performed on one’s self is masturbation, and masturbation is legal, then technically no crime has been committed.. Right Jezebelcunts?
Well, that settles it: You’re insane.
Well, that settles it. You’re a fucking Troll. Back to Jezebel with you.
Huh. I’m surprised and impressed by this article. I thought you guys were rape apologists.
Nobody gives a shit about your opinion, either way. This site doesn’t exist for you.
Moral of the story: Don’t play the role of “Captain save-a-ho”.
Raped bitches are damage, bitches that falsely claim rape are damaged.
Jesus, what’s left now? Go galt?
There is some truth and wisdom to that.
Dude. Be cool. You may be right but that is not the right way to express it. I certainly don’t believe that a girl’s being forcibly raped makes here into a ho. That being said, I have no patience or mercy for anyone who falsely claims to have been raped.
There was a really big opinion saying that there is to be expected a lack of interest in intimacy or sex. I keep to myself but that doesn’t mean that I don’t what to have sex. I expect to have a working family whenever it is that I find someone.
Can we have more humanizing articles like this, and less “how to tell if her labia/tits/butt cheeks/thighs are weird” BS?
Don’t like them, don’t read them, Troll.
Real rape should be a capital offense like it still was at the turn of the 20th century.
In my book, taking advantage of an incapacitated or desperate woman counts as rape or at the very least puts you on very shaky moral (as well as legal) ground. Like those American solders who had sex with German women in the aftermath of WWII. They were being gang raped by Soviet soldiers and many committed suicide (or at least tried to) to avoid such a fate, but American G.I.s found them so destitute (they were half-starved and hadn’t washed in days) that they could sexually entice them with a morsel of food, a piece of chocolate or even a bar of soap. This is forced prostitution, which should count as rape. It was a war crime after all, even if the higher ups turned a blind eye to it.
I would personally support such a law, with two caveats.
One. While women were always the way they were and false rape accusations did occur, they didn’t reach epidemic proportions like they do now. Back then society didn’t enable those sociopathic behaviors on the part of women to the extent that it does now. So how to proceed in an era where half of all rape accusations are legally groundless?
Two. The law punishes people who commit crimes as well as people who falsely accuse others of having committed crimes. It’s one thing if it was an honest mistake, like say if a real rape victim mistook you for her attacker and then was proven wrong, but it would still leave some bad feelings and would require an apology from her. But what punishment should be meted out to women who knowingly and willfully falsely accuse men of raping them? It’s a fair question, as you’re falsely accusing a person of committing a felony. You’re submitting false testimony (perjury) and obstructing justice. Not to mention defamation. So what should be the penalty?
Answer those caveats to my satisfaction and I’ll be first in line to support such a law.
The punishment should fit the crime.She should serve a rapist’s sentence for the false accusation.
This is important.
The key part of this article is at the end. I think he is right, you are going to have to accept that she may decide that she is done with the relationship. It’s not her fault or your fault, any more than if she had been hit by a car and died or if someone poured acid over every inch of her skin and she lived. I’m being specific in my examples to make a point, not to shock. At both those points a sexual relationship is over and it is not because either of you did anything wrong or couldn’t have loved each other.
I say give her the option to decide to move on, and at the same time recognize that you also may have to decide to downgrade the relationship to that of a friend and go get another girlfriend while regarding this girl as a good friend you care for.
Of course, if she wants to keep the relationship and you do as well, then that’s something for the two of you to decide, just sayin you have to give each other a break.
I’m as red pill as anyone at ROK, but this story made my eyes water up pretty badly. Rape is so horrible, and such a violation of a woman’s mind and spirit. I hate modern feminists for trivializing it the way they have.
“In regards to the rapist, don’t worry about hunting the guy down yourself. This does nothing but indulge your ego. It will not make anyone feel better.”
Really? That’s a pussy remark, Reinhardt. It’s that kind of remark that makes these assholes think they can get away with it. You rely on the police? If the cops catch him, fine. And they better hold him. But fact is, they’re busy chasing fake rapes and horseshit domestic charges from ungrateful housewives, they got no time for a real rape. Where we came from you got a beating for being impolite to our sisters or Moms. If that’s my daughter or family member or one of my close crew, until the cops have the bad guy, I’m going looking for him. In addition to the cops, a real bad guy OUGHT to have to worry about a husband or brother, a father, or uncle turning up outside his door one day.
Then you better be very smart and very good. Otherwise, you are the one going to prison.
What a joke this site is. You are all crazy. lmao. losers.
“In regards to the rapist, don’t worry about hunting the guy down
yourself. This does nothing but indulge your ego. It will not make
anyone feel better. Just see to it that the authorities punish him.”
That’s very important.
My heart sincerely goes out to you. You handled it fairly, judiciously, and like a man.
Plus one to what Sauron said. In addition, blunt honesty compels me to say it’s for the best for you that it did end. She’ll never be completely whole again and you would spend a frustrating life trying to heal what will never be completely healed. I’m really not trying to be a dick, just speaking truth. There is also the STD. Hopefully, it was the curable kind. If not, there would always be that, too.
NOTHING GOOD EVER COMES TO GIRLS GETTING JOBS,
the muslims were right all along to keep women at home and not allowing them to roam outside like dogs out of leash.
The house is the only place where women are supposed to be!
Rape is the consequence of having women freely available for rapists outside
Terrible shit. Why do stuff like that happen. These bastards who rape are so evil. So evil.
There’s no way I’d carry that baggage. While it’s not her fault she got raped, it’s definitely not mine, either.
I can’t imagine most women would stick around, if their man got raped, or even just beaten up, because they would lose all respect for him.
Real rape IS terrible. But I wouldn’t say it’s any more terrible than being mugged/beaten, being in a car accident or even going bankrupt.