Travel

How To Bang A Finnish Girl In Helsinki

26 Comments

1. Stay in an apartment or hotel in the Kamppi area of Helsinki. This is the part of town with all the bars, clubs, and restaurants. It also has the train station. I stayed in City Koti apartments.

2. Starting on Tuesday night, go to Millionaire Klub, known locally as Milliklubi. It is right across the street from the train station. The address is Brunnsgatan 12.

3. Drink alcohol. The locals drink copiously so you should too.

4. Approach girls and run nice guy game that I taught in Don’t Bang Denmark. Don’t be arrogant or overly opinionated. Don’t stereotype or generalize. Don’t talk about feminism or gender neutrality. Thankfully, Finnish girls are much more likely to let you slide for “being American” than a Danish girl would, but nodding game is still important. Ask questions about her culture instead of making strong statements. A good act to play is that of a confused tourist who is really curious about Finnish culture.

5. At the end of the night, invite the chick you’ve been talking to back to your crib. Have sex with her.

That’s it. I went to a few clubs but when it comes to getting laid with the least amount of effort, Milliklub was the best. It’s not even worth mentioning the other clubs. If you are failing in Milliklub (don’t see how you would unless you’re not putting in the effort), then go to Lady Moon bar right next door.

Here are some photos from the club:

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26 thoughts on “How To Bang A Finnish Girl In Helsinki”

  2. I’ve actually never been to Milliklubi even though I live and work in the city. Perhaps I need to check it out sometime.

  4. I recommend CrystalShowclub – its a striptease club downtown – but not sleazy like some of the other well known places. Open untill 4am everynight – at 6euros a beer its a bargain place. Check out the site here http://www.crystalshowclub.com – but understand its only a striptease club – the best one in Helsinki – but still only strip tease.

    2. do they bother you, coming all of them to you and asking you to pay for a private dance?!

    1. thats what you finnsh girls like ,you like assholes .its fun right …hauskaa ,but if he is good and serious ,,se on tylsäää

  7. your experience doesnt need to be bloged,if it worked for you easly ,it
    doesnt mean that it will work for others ,everyone is individual ,it
    might work for you cos you are “American Tourist” with the american
    english accent and all that girls will be like ohh my god ….you know
    why …cos finnish girls are folloing just wind ,they are empty ,the
    finnish culture has desapeared behinf the Mac culture ,Macdonalds and
    Macbook too…what is left is the heavy drinking..im foreigner and i
    live in helsinki ,i go to clubs,but i never pick a girl from there,im
    kind of persone that is serious and know what to do ,girls in finland
    are empty headed and empty soul ,and boast and full of shit…so you
    dont need to post your shit hear and dont think that you score,….and
    the most important thing is dont sell dreams to people …..

    3. I agree with you. Finnish women are, generally speaking, passive empty shells. 9 years of living in Finland might not give me 100% credit according to locals. But I do not intend to spend my life in digging out the “hidden gems” of this society. They became meat for Starbucks and McDonalds.

  8. Finnish girls: super easy, but why bother? Not worth the “effort”.
    Majority are ugly and obese, nontheless clueless of this fact so they don’t even try to act nice (like normal ugly/obese girls in other countries) to make up for the lack of appearance. Most of them aren’t very good in bed either, as they just lay down flat like a dead fish to be humped.
    To be fair, it’s not entirely their fault, as Finnish men are extremely bad at p*ssy-game and act like little poodles around any girl who is willing pay even a slight attention to them, doing all her biddings. With all these poodles around, no wonder they have a heightened sense of attractiveness. In Finland, even a dwarf would soon think she’s a Cinderella (i.e. a perfect place for ugly foreign girls who feel they can’t compete in their own countries).

    1. The problem with Finnish guys isn’t so much about that. The problem is, they are really and truly unerotic folks. They do not have any sense of how to act with a woman in a sexual situation – and I’m not laying any blame on them. It’s the really and truly unerotic Finnish culture to blame, if anything.
      The Finnish women do not have any more erotic conduct either. Although the hard agrarian days are long since gone, the culture and the way of thinking passes via our grandparents, and even parents.
      If you consider the Northern Europe in the past… That place was a shit hole. Nothing grew in the soil, farm animals got sick because of the though weather. And you had to survive through long icy winters and ridiculously brief growing season. There was no much room for an elaborate or seductive dressing or courting culture to emerge, since you actually had to think how you and your family could survive.
      Finnish women, and men, are pragmatic, even utilitaritan; A tops five minte long intercourse after sauna bath. Everyone gets something, and the total amount of good is decent.

    3. You loser must be sure a deeply rejected one. I apologize to the finns on behalf of this idiot. Other foreigners, like me, had great experiences and found the finnish people one of the most educated, caring, shy but curios and interesting people I have met. In one word: GENUINE. Which is hard to find on this planet. Actually next to the Icelandic people and maybe a few other nordics, Finns are the most genuine people I have ever met. And regarding the subject: For sure my second wife will be Finnish, if I ever get divorced.

  13. I’ve been to both Norway, and Sweden, and wished I had been able to make it to Finland. I would have stayed, but I was active Navy.

  14. Nah, I like Iceland more, and that based on the hottie at the front desk of Keflavik Airport that I tried to hit on.

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