The number one thing any man can do to skyrocket his success with women is to just start talking to them more. Just saying hi will put you ahead of 99% of guys. Hell, even making small talk with cashiers, waitresses, cab drivers, etc. will help your game. Most people are glued to their cellphones, genuinely terrified of basic social interaction outside of their social circle. I could count the number of times I’ve seen a “day approach” on one hand and the amount of times I’ve seen approach at night hasn’t even hit triple digits yet.
A thread titled “A glimpse of 1987 America” stirred up a lot of discussion a while back. A lot of people couldn’t believe how friendly the people were, how they weren’t terrified of one another, how they weren’t glued to their smart phones. I’m not saying that is how everything was back then, but when is the last time you’ve seen something like that during the day? What about at night? Facebook has replaced the intended function of bars/clubs. Rarely do people go there and try to meet other people or just be social with everyone around them.
I was at a bar a little while ago on a trip with some friends eating a late dinner while discussing girls and dating. They’re moderately blue pill and I was pushing them to go approach some girls, or in the very least help me approach one of the many groups of girls at the venue. Then I saw the most cringe worthy approach I’ve seen in recent times. A group of 5 guys walked past, visibly drunk, and pointed out a table of very beautiful women. I can only assume these guys were a bachelor party and what they were about to do was a dare because they were dressed like total idiots: golf visor with frosted tipped hair sticking out the top, ill-fitting cargo shorts and a faded polo. These guys screamed “beta”.
They surrounded the table of hot twentysomethings that 99% of males would be scared to talk to and start obnoxiously singing “She’s lost that lovin feelin.” I grab the popcorn and wait for the hilarity to unfold. Nothing happens. The girls sit there awkwardly looking at one another. About halfway through the song once they realize whats going on they start opening up and laughing. After they finish, all 5 of these guys sit down at the girls’ table and talk to them for at least 30 minutes.
Only then did I realize that you have to fuck up horrifically bad or even provoke her for a girl to harshly reject you. The worst rejection I’ve ever had was going up to these two very hot 19 year olds and having them just look at me without saying anything until I left a few seconds after. Most women are like most men: timid, scared, and lacking confidence. Yes, women gain more confidence in a group, under the influence of alcohol and with catty friends, but most women don’t have the balls to call someone out for being “creepy” or “awkward” they just wait until you’re gone until they do so.
I had this one girl I saw for the better half of last year, she’d have to bus for over an hour to come see me. Her bus route was through the bad part of town where all the crackheads and mentally ill reside so she always had some good stories. More than once she would tell me about some cracked out old dude sitting next to her who was saying the most bizarre shit. She once had a guy with 3 teeth propose to her and she had another guy offer her drugs. What did she do about them? She got off the bus on the next stop or just sat somewhere else, that’s it.
If I ever get that feeling of approach anxiety I know its time to just start talking because the only other guys approaching out there are crackheads, senior citizens, and homeless people. Even if you’re the most boring dude with no game you’ll be a breath of fresh air to a woman who regularly has to deal with guys who profess their undying love, offer drugs or even sing songs from old movies. What’s the worst that could happen?
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1987, the year I was born.
Have things really changed THAT much during my time on this stupid planet? Pretty unbelievable.
Good article the whole way through. One problem I notice is that even if in your logical mind you know everything that’s said here is true (and it is), the AA from your emotional mind is so strong as to overrule it a lot of times, beyond all logic and reason. This is particularly so with guys like myself who suffer from severe AA at times, despite having no real reason to suffer from it.
One trick I learned playing poker is that the emotional mind (limbic system) gives off a lot of tells in the form of body language cues, but that your rational mind (cerebral cortex) can overrule the emotional mind if trained properly- this time in the form of actively suppressing tells.
I think an article, or a series of articles, outlining very strong ways to train the cerebral cortex to overrule the AA coming from the limbic system would be a very worthy endeavor. This one touches on that somewhat, but it can go even further.
Yes, they have changed that much. I graduated around 1987, and I kind of remember this kind of social interaction, even though I was a quiet and socially awkward kid at the time. People just seemed more relaxed and open back then.
Very true. You could approach a girl, or another person you had no intent to talk to beyond a brief question and you would at least get a polite “No.”
Also, a beautiful girl did not have all the mass media sources telling her to act like an atrocious witch 90% of the time. She would not think you were out to rape her, nor would she be offended if you showed her you wanted to have sex with her. She would tell you she is not ready and expect you to honor that, or she might actually have lost interest due to moral reasons. Not because of the feminist dynamic we have now precluding a woman’s honesty, but because she honestly may have wanted to make sure you were not just using her. Now if you don’t keep taking her further and further to sexual climax, she thinks there is something wrong with you. There was still a stigma attached to being a whore in the eighties and nineties. Now, being a whore is almost a compliment to a girl’s so called empowerment. Thanks feminism.
Lastly, if you want to understand mind over matter, you should read up on the training regimes of the old Navy SEALs like Ray Boehm, or the work out routines of Arnold and Steve Reeves. For the mental portion, you should read Proverbs, one a day for every day of the month every day for the rest of your life (this more than the rest in this comment will train your mind over matter than anything, I don’t care if you are an atheist), and try a martial art (I recommend MMA), a sport like Cross Fit, mountaineering or triathlons; and start mastering math and science. Specifically electricity, and growing food.
Read about the founding fathers and how they disciplined themselves. Many of them knew more than three languages (Jefferson knew 6), invented things, learned at least one instrument, and were well versed in writing, arithmetic, and several sciences.
Think about it.
Agreed. Our Founding Fathers were exceptional. Like them, I try to be as much of a polymath as possible. Studying military history in general can bring you tales of heroism and daring as well. My avatar, the Duke of Marlborough, is a man I particularly admire. Actually, I think it might be worthwhile to submit an article to this site about him.
Been wanting to do Pankration for a while actually, but never had the time, and it is difficult to find. MMA is pretty much a direct descendant of it.
Um, thanks. A bit more information than I was looking for, but duly noted.
Here is a link to a great video about how to manage your AA; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My0YIsmxofs
Helped me quite a lot while I was starting daygaming and I still need to remind me those principles sometimes. AA is rooted in us, so it will never go away, but with time you can use it’s momentum to propel you in action big time!!
Great link. Once you habituate yourself, the momentum can carry on for days or weeks. Don’t forget about the elderly, the married, the ugly, and the homos. Everyone likes being engaged- you can confirm this by engaging everyone and you can calmly go about the business of making their insides tingle without worrying about the close. When you eventually approach someone whom you want to close, the only change will be getting the number at the end rather than smiling and waving goodbye forever. Sometimes I’ll actually pull out my phone mid-conversation and hold it until there’s a break in the conversation; it’s obvious what I’m about to do, but the benefit is that it tricks my mind into believing that I’ve already pulled the trigger and now all I need to do is punch in the name and digits.
For me, my refusal to objectify women was always the greatest barrier to overcoming AA. I felt like a sleaze for approaching someone just because I wanted to penetrate them, so I would never
approach (because being good was more important to me than being happy). Even if I would approach on occasion, I would never get the number because it trivialized the interaction to make it about game and sex, and I considered it a sign of disrespect to someone whom I would hope to respect (i.e. a lover, friend, wife). I never wanted to be so ends-driven when it came to relations with people, but my tune has changed. The old-ethics didn’t work, so I made my own: Exercise, Knowledge, Cleanliness, Pleasure, Freedom.
I acknowledge the disconnect between goodness, truth, and happiness. Theoretically, I realize that this is a problem, but I’m more interested in the phenomena. Now, I just want to be happy and indulge in my potential to be happy rather than restraining my impulses for some misguided belief in an exalted sense of happiness- “It is easy to choose badness even in abundance; the road is smooth, and it lies very near. But immortal gods have
placed sweat before virtue. The path to it is long and steep and rough at first. But if ever one arrives at the peak, then the going is easy, although it was hard.” (Hesiod). The problem is that it never gets easier and there is no payoff (unless you’re religious); it’s a trick to compound goodness, truth, and happiness- something to make us docile, self-restrained, and self-denying for the benefit of the philosopher so that he can ply his trade in freedom. I think Cicero (On Moral Ends) best described this disconnect and the necessity for the philosopher to force a connection. If you are knowledgeable and free, break them apart and make of them what you will.
From the women I’ve wanted to fuck, I’ve gotten nothing but scorn for feigned goodness. In my heart I was bad, nasty really, but I tried so hard to be good because I thought that it would be some sort of a cure for my humanity and open some treasure boxes of happiness. In the end, all I got was pity. If we are driven by ends, then we must decidedly pursue those ends; we must become bad if we are to achieve our goodness. Become the man that you are if you want the woman that you deserve rather than trying to be the man that deserves any woman.
Early, I made a choice to pursue the good. I studied religion, art, philosophy, psychology, war, politics, evolution, and culture. I studied the big things, and I gradually withdrew from the small things all around me- the point is that over time goodness alienates one from the world. The irony is that the more distant one becomes from humanity, then the less of a reason there is for being good,
except for increasingly selfish reasons. Self-serving goodness (making oneself the center of the world) is corrosive to the ideal, so we end where we began- by ourselves, wondering what is good and whether it is worth pursuing. The answer is to waffle: allow goodness to be limited by your power, but do not allow your power to be limited by goodness.
What is good now?
Exercise: become bigger, stronger, more agile, more impressive; become hard, and become hard to beat.
Knowledge: read books- lots of books, play with ideas through thought experiment, judge theories by the phenomena, judge yourself and others by a consistent standard; relentlessly pursue beauty and truth, but withhold them from others for your own benefit.
Cleanliness: fresh air, fresh ideas; do whatever it takes to get out of California/America, hike to escape the noise, climb mountains by yourself, experience something new and accept the fear. And for god’s sake, wash your damn sheets.
Pleasure: indulge in sensuality, take when someone wants to give, encourage the self-destructiveness of others to make yourself liked and superior; good music, great sex, fantastic sights, exotic/healthy foods. No drugs, that crap’s for other people, not you; as long as you have access to sensuality, they will harm your ability to take pleasure in these things. No porn, it’ll fuck up the chemicals in your brain, make you uninterested in sex, and give you a limp dick or a dried-up, barren wasteland of a poos. Never play with the clitoris; apply pressure and friction to it at various points, but always as an aside to some vaginal stimulation- the point is that to focus on massaging the clitoris for stimulation is masturbatory and weak, while inserting and thrusting is the physical manifestation of one’s desire to assert their will and take pleasure.
Freedom: confirm your freedom through resolute action and a carefree attitude towards the inanities bombarding you; embrace
the inevitability of change and construct your own beacons. Assert yourself outside of your comfort zone, pick up new skills and hobbies and put in the work to master them, think objectively about your triumphs and failures- do not get trapped in the cycle of rationalization and braggadocio. Clothing is restrictive, take the opportunity at night to be nude for some stretch of time; sleep that way, whimsically examine and feel your naked body and your freedom will become palpable.
The way I got over AA doing day game is practicing by just giving girls compliments. Nothing over the top, just something about her appearance, the way she was walking, the way her hair is styled, etc. If she responds positively you keep the interaction going. The revelation for me was learning that what you say is far less important than eye contact, vocal tone and a smile. It doesn’t even really matter if you exchange names until you go for her number.
Great to see that clip from 1987, reminded me of Dazed and Confused. It’s funny that even when these guys are acting goofy, they’re polite and you can tell they can be adults at the same time. Can’t imagine this happening today, they’d get kicked out of 7-11, someone would threaten to beat their ass for filming them, etc. Even though that time has passed in America, you can still be carefree and social in the same way. You’ll just set yourself apart even more from the social media introverts.
“Can’t imagine this happening today, they’d get kicked out of 7-11, someone would threaten to beat their ass for filming them, etc.”
Agreed. Back in ’87 not everyone went around with a camcorder, and the videos remained just a home movie for the person who made it. There was no way of making the video available globally and instantaneously like it is possible now. Youtube has become a part of, or an extension of the TV entertainment networks, and today’s home made video clips can potentially go viral world wide in matter of days, surpassing even the biggest of TV media companies.
I graduated from college in 1990. Let me tell you my opinions of the differences. The big difference is that the big enablers of attention-whoring and narcissism (smart phones, Facebook, etc.) were not present. So, chicks could only flake and attention-whore within restricted boundaries. The potential was always there, but it was circumscribed by the lack of enablers. Also, popular culture (movies, TV, etc) had not reached the level of today in the portrayal of men as simps, betas, and worthless clingers to girl-power entitlement. The emasculation of men had only started. Lara Croft, Tomb Raider would not have existed in the late 1980s. So, yeah, things have gotten worse.
Absolutely.
Some other things, too. American society itself was a lot more relaxed, compared with now. The imperial burdens that the US has taken on around the world have had a psychologically draining and corrosive effect on the mentality of the people here. And the misery skyrocketed after 9/11 in ways that are difficult to describe. America has always been a society driven by fear (fear of the slaves, of the Indians, etc) but now it has approached the level of social paralysis. All this effects how people relate to each other, and how the women here act. Chicks here are walking bags of fear and neuroses: fear of rape, of not being given their “fair share” in the work place, of whatever. It was always present, but it’s just gotten so much worse.
The only sensible long term solution is to associate with foreign women. John Rambo, a spirited ROK commentator, is right after all.
Married a South Asian. I am happier for it. I strongly advise AGAINST Caribbean girls, Western European, and Japanese unless you want to live there.
My wife is college educated, speaks several languages, and makes her won damn money. While I am back in school, she is making the bread yo.
I’m cool with it, because she pays for everything, and does not give me half the flak for it that my bitch of a Caribbean ex-mother of my son gave me for sitting on her fat lazy arse all day never cooking or cleaning. While I worked on ship for sometimes 18 hour days. Least she could have done was kept using my car to bring me friggin lunch.
Feminism kill women who are here (USA). If you marry foreign, go friggin live with her family overseas. It will be different, but it will also be rewarding!
Plus, it is not unfair that a woman who marries you, though she may love your family, does not want to spend all of her remaining years living in your country alone.
Also, my wife is very traditional, except she shuns the idea that she should be a housewife; what I mean is she likes working. You have to find a woman who cherry picks the hard stuff as favorable from both the past version of marriage, and the current work climate to get ahead. If she does not have that, spit her out and find a woman who does.
The States may be becoming a police state; but it still has good bones. We just have to trim the feminazi fat if we wish to survive. Marrying foreign to assist our sons in being able to get a quality wife in the future is doing your duty to corral the feminist BS here!
>>Also, popular culture (movies, TV, etc) had not reached the level of
today in the portrayal of men as simps, betas, and worthless clingers to
girl-power entitlement. The emasculation of men had only started.<<
Yes, but this makes it sooooo much easier for me to get laid these days.
It does make sex easy. The thing is what have we lost because of it?
Fear of Indians? fear for what? what did we ever do to you, that made you scared. Thats racism dude
fear is not racism. get it together, dude.
95+% of the time, the worst that’s going to happen is she says “no.” I’ve told my guy friends this all the time. There have even been a few times where I’ve kind of shoved them into the conversation and then walked off…only to see them still talking 15-20 minutes later.
I’d rather know for sure than know, “what if.”
That’s why i’m a believer in the saying “easier to get forgiveness than permission”.
The cynic in me thinks the worst thing that would happen is if she says “yes”.
I prefer colorful excuses meant to represent “no”. They make me laugh.
Social media and smart phones and all related technologies, including future social media technologies have and will continue to make major impact for good or or bad, mostly bad from where I see things. Canadian communication theorist Marshall McLuhan stated this in his writings he published back in the 1960’s.
Communication is more than just words, it’s eye contact, it is facial expressions and I suspect a few other factors at the meta level. Human interaction is more than just the verbal communique. The trouble is that even though you can be talking with someone via smartphones there is something lost in the process, something that gets filtered in the virtual world.
I recently saw a very cool documentary Through The Wormhole Sixth Sense which argued that all humans are connected to each other. I’m not sure if I agree with everything, but there was some food for thought : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHZXnIhGOSg
I left Orlando in 2010 and remember it being kinda like that, or at least at the gas stations around UCF where most of the customers are college kids. People are generally pretty friendly and laid back. I used to get girls to flash the attendants so they’d sell us alcohol after 2 LMAO. It’s a shithole everywhere else, though.
I treat talking to women similar to police. Talk to them only if you really have because you want to fuck them and not get fucked.
*golf clap*
“If I ever get that feeling of approach anxiety I know its time to just
start talking because the only other guys approaching out there are
crackheads, senior citizens, and homeless people.”
Makes you wonder who is insane…the guy that approaches everyone or the guy who is anxious to approach anybody.
It’s true. Honestly, even though roosh has said in the future you’ll need steroids and to be a perfect man to even be able to approach, i think it’s the opposite. in ten years if you get 4 hard ons a day, you should be golden to start approaching. ten years ago, i looked the same as now. tall, long hair, muscular. i was always confident, but moreso now than i was then, and more wise with age. still, then it was harder because guys approached more or you needed better social status, or whatever.
people were friendlier, but it was harder to get laid, and not just because i had less confidence or was less aware of PUA tricks. i still had success, but not nearly the way i do now. women seemed more wary.
nowadays it is far easier to get laid, but but far harder to find a woman worth dating. it is so bad, in fact, i do not even date american women anymore. not worth it. like you describe, most women are so unused to be approached, or approached without class, that when you do so with class, it’s fucking easy. on any given day i approach 3 – ten times just to stay sharp. most of the time i dont even push it to see the girl or get a number, i just let things fall where they may, and usually i can find a way to nudge it where i want it without much effort. honestly, its sad how easy it has become.
true true. we talk about cell phones and egos through the ceiling and all that. and that shit sucks. thats why we talk about it.
but women are putty in the hands of a man. they have no solid opinions, they have no original ideas, they have no conviction. they go with the flow.
so if modern bullshit is your excuse to not even smile at a broad and talk to them then you arent anything but a bitch. you like to pretend and reminisce but truth is you would do shit if it was 1979.
I graduated from high school in 1987. Yes, things have changed that much.
First, the 1990s were the nail in the coffin for masculinity. The TV and film media (just before the Internet) went full-bore with End Stage Feminism. It was the era of the sensitive male. It was era of Clinton and the NOW harpies, running everything, passing all kinds of legislation, controlling the schools, creating sensitivity workshops, cracking down hard on employers if anything remotely offensive (as unilaterally and subjectively defined by women) occurred, and college campuses became constant Red-Alert anti-male indoctrination camps.
That’s why the Lewinski scandal was such a monstrously huge deal — Clinton had been the champion of feminism, who helped push through the Violence Against Women Act (which meant that any woman could get any man arrested on the spot by pointing her finger at him), and all sorts of other initiatives pushed though the schools and the courts, but he turned out to be an Old School horndog who was getting blown under his desk by the 22 year-old interns. (Awkward!)
Second, the 1990s was the era when the Baby Boomers’ children entered college, and thus adulthood. They were basically re-heated leftover Boomer Communists looking for something — anything — they could latch onto to get all protest-y about. They desperately wanted to re-live their Boomer parents’ glory days , and so they tried to synthesize the Boomer-era college experiences. The result was a big fat nothing. Simon and Garfunkel may have been able to launch a reunion tour, and there was a pathetic Woodstock thing, but that’s about it as far as it went for the hope of seeing the 1960s Version 2.0. But that demographic shift did help push conventional masculinity out of bounds even further.
In contrast, the people you see on that video from 1987 were Gen-Xers. We were much less hyper-politicized, as a generation.
Its like, I go up flash my stacks like bitch I’m buying what you want? and most bitches are like who the fucks this nigger. Blow me the fuck off. I’m like, the fuck I care, see them honeys over there, I be fucking them tonight you wait. Then I be talking to them honeys and one of the bitches will come up and dog me, like I’m a beta and shit. So I’m like, yo bitch, you had ur turn. Get her to fuck off and shit. And the honeys like who the fucks this bro and I be fucking her within twenty minutes. Haha. Playa.
I’ve been much more audacious lately, which is good and has visibly made me more attractive to women. But not too long ago I was drinking with some friends and I swept up a friend’s wife in way too intimate of a hug while we were joking and chatting. She was visibly aroused afterwards, but that was still a dick move and I feel bad.
Pretty on point. Plus, even with mean rejection you build a thicker skin and learn to just brush it off.