The Marriage Paradigm


Meet Mark: A tall, dark haired 32 year old accountant working for a small firm in rural New York. His sharp nose and dark complexion reveal his Sicilian lineage, and an onlooker would consider him to be an attractive high status male. His day comprises of tax audits, caffeine, and making serious faces at his computer screen when his boss walks by. He is a book-smart guy, and had always succeeded in math throughout high school and college. His GPA floated around the meaty part of the bell curve, mainly due to his natural understanding and performance with numbers.  He is an accountant by trade, as was his father, and his father before that. His career choice was inevitable; as it was forced upon him at an early age. Any remnants of physically appealing physique are courtesy of his old college lacrosse days. Mark’s body is nowhere what it used to be, as he hasn’t needed to impress any other females in years. He plans on working out again, but he values his time spent at home more than time spent at the gym.

As he pokes his ahead above his computer monitor, pre-maturely dark skies and streetlights began to fill the horizon. Much to his enlightenment, 5 o’clock came early today. With a sigh of relief, he finishes his coffee, and shuts down his computer. He smiles as he packs up his stuff, as the thought of playing with his two children always fills him with a joyful warmth.

Mark swings his suit-jacket over his shoulders, and walks out the door to his sedan. He starts the car, defogs the windows, and drives through the winter weather. A small crucifix dangles from the mirror in hypnotic fashion.

A hot new intern enrolled with his firm today. She was a 21 year old blonde southern belle from Texas A&M that had just recently earned her undergrad diploma. She is strikingly gorgeous with long tanned legs and blue eyes. Mark had chatted with her at lunch time about the size of her old school and her future goals. He recollects her gazing down to his left hand and noticing a gold marriage band, and then regaining eye contact without haste. Her eyes subconsciously revealed a look of disappointment; it is a look that he has seen in many women throughout his married years.

Mark does his best to push her southern charm from his mind.

He arrives home, and puts the car in park. He is no longer moving, yet still has both hands on the wheel. He pauses, and exhales deeply before entering his suburban home. As soon as he enters, he is quickly greeted by hugs from his 4 year old son and 6 year old daughter.

“Daddy!” the kids yell.

He kneels down and smiles as he ruffles their hair. The smell of gravy and mashed potatoes fill the warm air.

“Honey you’re home!” His wife calls out to him, as she walks over to give him a kiss.

Mark had met his wife Lisa after graduation at a friend’s New Year’s party. Unbeknownst to him, she was on his university’s dance team for all four years, and they had never crossed paths.

Mark was 25, and in his physical prime. His career was on the rise, and his love life was never dull. He had been with 29 women before wedlock, and all of them were high quality.  He didn’t need to settle. But her tight body, strong family values and caring nature drove him into monogamy.

The heat of her oven mitts greets his lower back. Mark is instantly filled with joy as he hugs his wife; and gives her a little pat on the butt.

He drops his briefcase, rests his coat and scarf on the staircase and takes a seat on the couch. The Giants game has already been turned on.

“Ah hell” he yells as he stretches out and cracks his toes.

“We’re getting spanked by the Bears.”

“Daaaaa Bears,” his little boy echoes.

His wife walks over to him with a freshly cracked beer, and mentions how dumb Eli Manning looks all the time. Mark grins and nods in agreement, and notices that his wife is starting to get a little thick in the thighs and waist. He tries not to think about it. He focuses his attention back on the TV quickly to be interrupted by both children scurrying across his view. His son is pushing his red Tonka truck around the hardwood floor with both hands. And his daughter is doing her best to catch her brother, but the feet of her pajamas have very little grip, so she continuously slips on the hardwood floor.

As halftime arrives, Mark rounds up the kids, and puts them to bed to the best of his ability.

“Tell us a story first Daddy!” the kids yell in harmony. He knew this was coming, as his daily routine did not often vary.

“A story and a treat!” His little girl Anna says.

“No. It’s bed time” He says harshly. “But Daddy!” she replies, visibly upset.

“Do you remember the big girl we saw at the store the other day?”

Anna slowly nods in agreement, with her arms crossed, and tiny chin greeting her chest.

“Her daddy gave her treats all the time, so many treats that her belly got so big that she can’t even see her own feet! Do you want to look like that girl?”

“Nooooooooo!” she says facetiously

“Then no treats for you. But I promise this Sunday we will go to Dairy Queen and get a cone bigger than your head.”

“But daddy I can’t eat that much!” She says giggling

“You and your brother can share, now come upstairs and I’ll read you a story.”

Mark does what he always does, and reaches into the drawer to grab the usual, Mortimer by Robert Munsch. The story is just long enough that they fall asleep before the ending.

He slowly closes the book, tucks in the kids, and turns off the light. The hardwood creaks as Mark walks into the master bedroom, unbuttoning his dress shirt, only to be greeted by the bulge of his stomach. He looks down and smacks it with his right hand.

Mark turns his gaze onto his wife, both hands on his hips, shirt unbuttoned, and gut slightly drooping over his waistline.

He flexes each peck in harmony,

“I’m kinda in the mood tonight babe, are you?” His wife asks in curiosity. “We haven’t been intimate since your work party two weeks ago,” she added.

Mark, surprised at her comment, is exhausted, and his testosterone is nowhere what is used to be, but he agrees to go a couple rounds. He turns off the light switch and climbs in bed with his wife. They go for the usual: missionary, cowgirl, and then doggy style to finish it off. The hot intern creeps into his mind, this time he doesn’t fight the mental image. He finishes, and rolls over onto his side of the bed.

His wife rests her head on his shoulder, and grazes her fingers across his chest.

She exhales deeply and whispers goodnight. Mark lies awake. The ceiling fan and glare of the alarm clock keeps him up. He listens to the hypnotic beat of the rainfall against the roof, and watches the water roll down the window. An uneasy feeling encapsulates him as he is reminded that his tomorrow will be identical to his today. He will snack on the same stale office muffins, and have mindless chatter with his uninteresting co-workers. He will come home to a woman who hasn’t renewed her gym membership in two years, and then pretend to enjoy the same meals that were put in front of him thousands of times: shake and bake chicken, frozen crinkle cut fries, spaghetti with tomato sauce, and store bought pies.

He will see that same look in the eyes of the people in his office. It’s a sad look, and it screams help without any noise. It’s a look of helplessness, as all of his peers are confined and imprisoned by their bosses, their spouse, and their kids. They don’t like their 9-5, but the thought of quitting and starting over never even crosses their feeble minds. He shudders at their lack of autonomy, but realizes he is no different than any of them.

Mark readjusts himself in the bed and turns his back to his wife, with the covers over his shoulders. He begins to fantasize what life would have been like if he never met her.

If his only financial responsibility priority was himself, he knows that his current income could support a lavish lifestyle for a bachelor living in the city. He pictures the skyline from a rooftop condominium, while the clink of wine glasses with the new intern plays as a background noise to his fairy-tale fantasy.

He remembers having the most recent wedding day out of all of his brothers, and the unnecessary guilt that he felt from family for being the oldest, and the last to wed.

Was I pressured into this? Did I choose this life or was it chosen for me? He thought.

Thoughts of escape began to fill his mind. He imagines driving 120 km/h into the warm ocean air of Canberra on a speed-bike, and smoking cigars on rooftop patios in Panama City. Mark exhales deeply through his nose. The silhouette of his wife’s unconscious body painted the walls of his bedroom.

How will her body look in 10 years? Or 20? She will never be that firm 22 year old that he married. Will I still be physically attracted to her throughout her older years? He pondered. The thought of his wife’s mother’s body and tethered face deepened his anxiety. He wondered how much longer until his love and affection deteriorates into acceptance and appreciation.

The thought of financial and logistical freedom excited him, but he knew it would come at a heavy price. A damaged psyche to his offspring, and half of his net worth gone to a resentful ex-wife.

The reminder of his two wonderful kid’s faces put his anxiety at ease, slightly. His mental activity begins to slow, and he drifts off to sleep.

Meet Dan: A 30 year old energetic bartender; still in good shape thanks to his old football body that he had built in his early 20s. Dan’s sandy brown hair and square jaw reveal his Irish heritage, and his quick witted humour and sharp tongue convey that he was raised a salesmen. Dan works at a popular bar in Manhattan and serves drinks to some of the city’s most gorgeous women. He rents a one bedroom condo just down the street. His income covers both the necessities and some luxuries, as he doesn’t have to provide for anyone else but himself. Dan is living fast, and wild. He is completely living in the moment, with little of his paycheques arriving in his savings account. He had been in a long relationship in his twenties, but it fell through right before engagement plans.

It’s 11 o’clock, and just as Dan’s shift is over, the bar he works at starts to fill up. He rinses the last glass, collects his tip, throws on his coat and scarf, and walks out the door.

Light snowfall and Christmas lighting greets him on the way out, as he walks about two blocks down the street to his place. He has a little strut in his step, as he’s meeting a hot brunette named Bridgette in an hour for a drink. As he’s walking up the stairs to his apartment, his phone vibrates to a text that reads, “See you soon. J”

Dan opens the door, throws off  his leather jacket and cracks a beer. He knows he should be rushing, but he feels that being a little late to his date will put him in a position of power.

He opens his blinds to a beautiful view of Manhattan at night, he turns on a David Gray vinyl, and slowly begins to freshen himself up for his date. Dan cleans up well; he’s looking to make a good first impression on this girl that he met during one of his shifts last week. He goes for a formal look of black pants, white button up, metallic watch, and a spray of Lacoste cologne.

As midnight approaches, Dan works some gel into his hair and flows it back;

“I’d do me.” he says to himself in the mirror.

Dan swigs back the last of his beer and heads on out the door to the Ale House where a local band is playing.

As he arrives to the scene, he notices the band is in full force. He may be the most sober guy in the building. He locks eyes with the girl he is meeting; she is sitting at a round table at the corner of the bar, legs crossed, in a short black dress, with just a little bit of cleavage. She appears to have a little Espanola in her blood, curvy, and with a distinct dark freckle over lip.

Dan acknowledges her, smiles, and approaches the table. “Thank god I didn’t hold my breath,” she says with a grin.

“Well aren’t you a funny one,” he replies as he adjusts his cufflink.

As Dan slides into the table, they are pleasantly greeted by his old college friend Alyssa who is serving tonight.

“Rickard’s White for you Dan?” she asks.

“Always trying to plump me up, aren’t yah,” he says sheepishly.

“You know me too well,” she replies, pleased with the flirting,

Dan takes a mental note that he would totally do Alyssa.

“And for you?” she asks Bridgette. “Just a vodka cran,” she says quietly as she stuffs her purse into the corner of the booth

The bar is buzzing, but they are sitting far from the band, so they can hear each other without any trouble. Luckily Dan is seated with his back to the wall, so her attention is focused on him and only him. He picked up this little trick in college.  Dan does his usual playful banter, discusses his travels, and pokes fun at her, all while keeping his legs in touch with hers. He makes her laugh with ease, and every time she giggles, she grabs onto his forearm.

As time passes, they have reached a happy medium between buzzed and drunk; the two begin to discuss what they’re really passionate about. Bridget notes how she loves dancing and hot yoga. Dan reveals his love of adventure, and how he enjoys writing and meeting new people. As more drinks are served, they begin to feel more and more connected.

Bridget’s constant hair tosses and glow in her eyes revealed her desire for further intimacy. Dan likes where this is going, as he can already picture her sprawled out on his bed.

Bridget’s eyes become a little glossy so Dan decided to call it a night.

“I wanna show you the view from my balcony,” he says as he scribbles down his signature on the receipt.

“Only if you have me home before bedtime!” she replies jokingly.

Dan knows he has this in the bag. He quickly visualizes how it’s going to play out when they get home; he waves down an incoming cab.

“12c Water street!”

Bridget is now resting her head on his chest, as the two speed through the chilly Manhattan night. The street lights wrapped with Christmas ornaments and reefs brings a genuine smile to his lips, as it reminded him of being a child in the backseat of his parent’s car; without a care in the world. Dan could see the cab driver nodding in acceptance as the two pulled up to his place. The two scurried upstairs. They couldn’t resist the sexual tension, within seconds Bridget’s panties were dropped.

They went at it three times that night; and had spurts of passion near the end. He never banged a Hispanic girl. She had been unusually hard to orgasm, he thought, but he powered through.

After the sex, they both rolled over on his bed with a euphoric yawn. Bridget inched closer to him and tried to cuddle; it felt forced. Dan could not see a future with this girl, as she gave it up way too easy. He kind of wanted her to leave.

As his buzz began to wear off, and the thrill of the chase subsided, he began to ponder if he will ever find the right one. As Bridget’s breathing became heavier, she had now entered a deep sleep.

As Dan lay, he felt a bit of shame cast over him. He gazed up at his ceiling and thought, will I ever have a family? Who will I pass my knowledge and wisdom down onto? My parents are expecting grandchildren. He did not want to disappoint them, he thought that society expected him to have kids. He wondered if being a parent offered a sense of fulfillment in life that being a seasoned bachelor could not.

He knew that refraining from marriage and kids gave him freedom and luxuries that wouldn’t otherwise be readily available; and being able to fly to Atlantic City with his buddies on demand pleased him, but the thought of dying alone scared him. The fact that he is entering his 30’s scared him. And the fact that he is scheduled to attend his best friend’s wedding in August scared him even more.

He knew kids were expensive, but he wondered if being a father would make his life feel complete. He pondered whether the dopamine rush of reward from being with a new girl would always trump the oxytocin high of being with a loved one.

As the voices in his head began to seize, Dan turned his back to Bridgette and drifted off to sleep.

Read More: Marriage Is Just Plain Tedious

247 thoughts on “The Marriage Paradigm”

  1. Tldr, nw
    Thats never will.
    And wondering if having kids or doing some other shit will leave you feeling fullfilled is for women and faggots. Its sitcom primetime 30something faggot horseshit.

    1. Actually, the desire to pass on your genetic legacy and have a family is almost as ingrained in men as it is in women. The problem as usual, is that feminism has ruined much of it and there are no far more incentives for bachelorhood than fatherhood.

  2. “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”
    Friedrich Nietzsche

  3. Meet Senor Martillo. Senor is 39, married 12 years with two boys aged 6 and 10. He is a freelance product design engineer and works about half time for a variety of clients all over the bay area.
    Senor never makes quite as much money as he’d like, but occasional house flipping has let him climb the ladder pretty well, and he now has a million dollar pad in Marin County. Senor’s wife also works about half time, and they make about 100k between them.
    Senor isn’t as lean and mean as he was in his 20’s but at 6’2 and 205 lbs, he’s doing OK. Plus fuck it…nobody his age is as fit as they were. His freelance schedule allows Senor to surf at least 30 days a year, ride his mountain bike at least 100 days a year, and mix in a bit of windsurfing, snowboarding, and motocross. The last few years have seen surf and riding trips to Baja, Hawaii, Oregon, BC, Idaho, and Nicaragua. He doesn’t spend a single moment or a thin dime wasting his time in a gym. Senor can think of few things gayer or less pleasant than watching a bunch of dudes strut around in front of a mirror, smelling the hideous mix of their sweat, hairspray, and shitty cologne.
    Senor’s family life is about as good as it gets, his wife is 20 lbs lighter than when they met in the 90’s and works out at least 5 days a week. He still nails her a couple times a week, and after he gets her a bit drunk, she’ll still slob the knob and even occasionally take it backdoor.
    Senor’s kids are straight up alphas in training, the elder a record-holding swimmer, junior olympic water polo player, and utility infielder for his AA minor championship winning little league team. The younger is more rebellious, of course, but at 6 years old has a yellow belt in Kenpo karate, surfs, and rides motorcycles with Senor. They are both no strangers to a hard days work on Senor’s building projects, nor the smack of his hand on their asses if they are disrespectful.
    Senor goes to bed every night thanking the universe for how fucking awesome it is, and is even more grateful that he doesn’t have to wring his hands about being a beta bitch, or what color pill to take, or blaming women and jews for whatever is wrong in the world.

      1. Pool party. Senora was a friend of the family…extended in-laws or some shit like that. Senor was quite lucky that day…though dont get me wrong, I miss those single days. I went down for the count at 24 years old, when the game was just starting to become apparent. I’m quite sure 24-30 would have been a real fuck fest.
        But hey…having ones cake and eating it too is rare enough. I wont go bitching that I wanted cookies too.

        1. How do you have a million dollar house with a combined house hold income of 100K? Otherwise, cool life;)

        2. Its because of his side business flipping houses. Its been very profitable since the bubble burst. Obviously also since he is naturally alpha, he got married before game but never sold out. He somehow always knew what to do naturally. Its a wonder why his majesty is even gracing us with his presence. An honor indeed. What could such a man want with the mannosphere? You might ask? Purely entertainment.

    1. …don’t break your back trying to suck yourself off. Your senora decides for better-deal your ass, you’ll be couch-surfing like so many others here have.

      1. Ha! Don’t count on it. California has no-fault divorce and she’s always made about half our income. I’d probably get fucked over with the kids, but she’ll only get half the money.
        Furthermore…that aint gonna happen, because we talk about it freely without remorse or embarrassment. We’ve been together for 17 years now. We can both look around and see the wreckage of fucked up marriages, and how it ends up for everyone involved. It’s not pretty, even for the women who divorce rape their ex’s. The guys get skinned on the financial side, but they almost always get a second lease on their single life, traveling, and drinking, and fucking and living it up. The women go downhill fast…bank account or not, they are bitter and lonely because a “happy home” is what they were taught to want.
        Old joke: Know why divorce is so expensive? Cuz its worth it.

        1. Nice one Senor! way to go mate. Marriage and kids can work if you stay strong, are clear and honest about what you want and still love each other, and that last one is the key man

        2. Well put. Mine went tits up at 17 years, and yeah, I rolled through the next few years pretty hard. I say run with it then, cheers.

        1. Technically it’s the CIA and the Jews, they’re the ones who created feminism lolz.

      1. Nope….pretension is pretending to be something you’re not. I’m telling it like it is.
        Is it arrogant? Bragging? Sure…but this shit is anonymous so it shouldn’t bother you or anyone else. My point beyond stroking my own ego was that there is a third way besides being feminism’s doormat and being a callow, self indulgent, perma-bachelor.

        1. It’s not bragging at all. You’ve outlined a great example of the fact that there are many ways to win the game of life but the one thing they have in common in your own happiness. I applaud your success despite not being able to envision myself in your shoes, family wise.

        2. i removed my comment immediately after posting it. i still agree with it, but thought that it was a bit trollish to leave it up.
          of course you’re right. there’s no reason why i should be bothered by anons.

        3. Hey shithead. You know what love is? It’s when you can’t do any better. You settled. You married a fat girl. You hit your kids.
          Then your stupid ass is here bragging about what a loser you are. No one here has any respect for what you’ve done, and no one here looks up to you. $100k is poverty level in CA, and a $1M house in CA is shit.
          You sold out, you come and read articles on this site because you know you did. And you want to live vicariously through us while you also lash out and call us callow and self-indulgent because you’re green with envy and have to fuck an old pussy. Crawl back under your flipped house retard.

        4. Nothing wrong with stroking your own ego. You’re the only one who will do it with sincerity.

        5. I liked the part about being active enough with hobbies to not need to go to the gym. Only reason I have a gym membership is because since Im paying for it there is a good motivation to go. Plus they have an awesome Sauna and jacuzzi until I put them in my own house.
          As far as they rest of that long-winded bullshit?
          Having kids is for gay mangina faggots lol.
          Doing a public power-brag about them is even gayer.

        6. It’s not really bragging, more like gloating if it makes sense. There’s luck involved, and Martillo obviously got lucky with having a loyal, supportive wife.
          How hot is she though? That’s the real question lol.

        7. LOL you’re a dumbass. The ol Senor sounds like he is in a much better position in life than most, by far. & if fhit hit the shan for him, he has a family to fall back on when the chips are down, unlike most of the bitter fucks on here.

    2. The thing is, the mindset of of having kids and fucking your way up to the grave is not going to do anything for civilisation. I’ve been noting that over the years the family man lifestyle has been successfully crushed by leftist and feminists, additionally there’s a growing trend were the rich and successful under reproduce (TFR under 2.1) whilst the drop out/dumb-as-fuck reproduces more than their hard working counterparts. Someone coined the term Idiocracy, there’s even a film about it.
      A famous quote from the film:
      Doctor: Why come you got no tattoo?
      Whilst the film is a comedy, the concept behind it is real.If only the lazy reproduce, the burden on the state will capsize the nation.

      1. Idiocracy is my single favorite film of all time. Absolutely fucking classic.

    3. Congratulations on your achievement, Senor. I actually meant that. But one point I take issue with, is your comment on gyms. You can build your body any way you want, but you don’t hear us ripping on Surfing.

        1. Possibly, but some of us can’t surf on the regular. Anyway, for every man his own poison.

    4. Everything you described sounds alpha. Except for the fact that you had to come on here and post to look for validation. Everyone has different lives and not always the same opportunities. I wish you the very best in your family endeavors. But please leave this site for those who still have work to do. We can’t all live in your paradise padre. Have a pleasant evening senor.

      1. how do you know it’s not all just a bunch of BS? that would more likely explain why he is here seeking validation.

      2. If you’re a successful dude with your shit handled, commenting in the ROK comments section is kinda like giving business and money advice to a bunch of project crackheads when you’re a self made multimillionaire. They’ll just stare blankly at you and go, “No WAY man, you jus a busta that done got lucky cuz you was born WHITE. EVERY white person a gotdamn multimilloneer. Now shut the fuck up and get back to yo busta ass life robbin us blind, punk, fo I get up and snatch that ass.”
        To be honest, I’m surprised at how cool most of the comments responses were here. Usually when I stop by and see a legitimately cool dude providing valuable life advice in the comments section, he’s rapidly deluged by whiny bitch men telling him he obviously doesn’t understand how evil women are and he must be some kind of super rich super good looking male super model who drives a Ferrari to work from his mansion in Malibu to have any success with them.

        1. If his life sounds like your ideal set up then perhaps you should be working towards that dream. There’s no easy route to anywhere in life as a man. Married or single that’s up to you. Nobody cares which way you go. Just know that a man needs no validation for the decisions he made in life. Because in the end you’re the one who lives with the consequences of those choices. Decide what is valuable to you and achieve that through effort. Good day to you…

    5. Remember me? I’m the client who’s job you fucked up back in March. Quit ignoring my emails asshole. You owe me $13000 for the job you never fucking delivered on. I don’t care about your mortgage payments you weasel. Cut the bullshit. This your last chance to pay before you’ll be hearing from my lawyer. You have my email since you’re too chickenshit to pick up the phone. Punk bitch.

        1. He’s trolling. He’s never heard of me and I’ve never heard of him. I didn’t even have any clients in March, I was finishing up a spec house. And when I do have clients for a design job, they pay after, 30 days net invoice. I’ve never been paid before a job starts, primarily because at least in CA it’s illegal. 10% down payment max, at least in the construction industry.
          Oh and I got your email, I will keep you in mind when the next project comes up. I’m thinking of looking outside California though, it’s too damn expensive here, it feels like another bubble waiting to pop. No land available, all the fixers are impossibly priced or total pieces of shit, and the governments are all hostile to developers. Low income housing hysteria, environmental regulations thick enough to choke a horse, on and on and on.
          Nevada and Oregon are looking more likely. Maybe Idaho.

      1. Funny…what job was that again? Since I only do spec developments, and haven’t touched a custom job since 2007?
        Good troll though, I haven’t seen that one before.

    6. Congrats on winning powerball. Selling marriage is like selling snake oil, correlation does not imply causation. Can you really prove it was your ‘red-pillness’ or was it just that you found the mystical NAWALT?

      1. I cannot speak for Senor, but I can attest that in my case finding and implementing red pill took a pure blue pill marriage and life track and allowed me to turn it into a red pill marriage and life course. For me it was absolutely explicit red pill awareness. Without it I would be divorced, bankrupt, alcoholic or possibly just plain dead.
        The fact is that Yes All Women Are Like That. This is the entire point of evo-bio and GAME. Use exactly the fact that they are all like that to your advantage, just apply it within the context of marriage. By using the red pill to pull the levers of her natural wants needs and desires one can in fact have it all. The man and the woman can be happier, much happier once the red pill is administered. Roll over to MMSL and watch all the blue pillers turning their relationships around. Is it all successful, hell no, but there is most certainly hope and more than just two options.
        It’s hard work, it requires constant game, but its possible, its real, its useful, its fun

      2. I’ve several marriages under my belt. Doesn’t work out in the end because I’m not the sort to keep it in my pants and the Missuses inevitably find out and can’t deal. Until that point, you’d better believe I rule the roost with an iron fist. And after, it still ends on good terms. All my exes want another go at it. All past ‘wrongs’ are forgiven.
        When I see these men sobbing because their marriages fell apart, what I see across the board are weak, in-love simps who tried to live the Disney dream and had their hearts crushed when their Princess gobbled down cock from an alpha. Or they bitch because they can’t see their children. If my ex wants to run off with my kids, I’m cool with it. There are plenty more women in the world who’ll be happy to take my johnston and spawn me more.
        It’s the 21st century. Marriage isn’t likely to work out past a certain number of years, and when it ends, it’s either going to be because you were too busy fucking other women to be a good husband, or because she was too in love with her boyfriend she left you for because you were a loyal, boring little bitch. I guarantee you Senor M. gets some cut up on the side, although he won’t mention it publicly. His wife suspects it but doesn’t say anything because she doesn’t want to rock the boat – she knows she won’t get a man like him again if she leaves.
        That’s REAL red pill. Not the ‘red pill’ most of the fairies here talk about, where they want to red pill their dating lives until they meet Miss Right, then get butthurt they can’t blue pill it in marriage. Sorry boys, the red pill isn’t just for what happens before you meet your dream girl, and then Disney takes over from there. And ragequitting life to go retreat into your MGTOW turtle shell doesn’t solve anything either, because sooner or later if you try to fight it, you’re going to pull a Mark Minter despite yourself, and if you weren’t ready for it, guess who gets to be the bitch in THAT relationship?

        1. Why do guys on here feel the need to constantly remind people that you have taken the “red pill”? Do you all think that you play the main character in our world? It seems a bit dramatic, and the emphasis you put on it makes it seem like you’re paranoid of what people think of you. Why care if others don’t meet your standards of masculinity?

    7. “Senor can think of few things gayer or less pleasant than watching a
      bunch of dudes strut around in front of a mirror, smelling the hideous
      mix of their sweat, hairspray, and shitty cologne.”
      Personally I go there to work out but whatever works for you.

    8. I suppose mediocrity and monotony have their selling points. And there must also be some excitement in playing Russian Roulette with divorce rape.
      I’d like to respect this guys…achievements (if I can call them that), but this just seems like a desperate grab for validation from a guy who has too much time on his hands for how busy he claims to be.
      Try harder.

    9. ” or blaming women and jews for whatever is wrong in the world.”
      Please, do us all a favor and swallow some razors.

      1. IT’S GU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew you would show up here to spoil the fun. No gay insults today? Just swallowing razors?

    10. I’ll give the girls a pass. They’ve been marching in the streets lately, protesting against Israel (in London and other cities) by the thousands.
      Gentlemen, WE HAVE HOPE! 🙂 lolz.

    11. Not directed toward you Senor necessarily but in the real world (I live in California too), these “picture perfect” scenarios can rapidly unravel when:
      1. A paternity test indicates one or none of the kids are yours and you still gotta pay for them. A good portion of the “child support” is for the new boyfriend’s Jack Daniels fund and red bottom Louis Vuittons.
      2. Wife gets the house in the divorce, moves her boyfriend in and you get to visit that “million dollar pad” and your kids with their new Daddy whenever she feels like it (often ignoring court ordered visitation with no consequences to her of course) and you continue making house payments unless you own it outright. She’ll also continuously tell the kids what a bastard you are for breaking up the happy family.
      So count your blessings, and I hope your house of cards is for real and doesn’t come crashing down.

    12. Amen, hilarious on here how the east coast guys seem to think being a bartender or club promoter is like the top of the food chain for single guys. Comparing a gym to surfing shows that some have shit between their ears. Monterey Bay here, but you nailed it. Sonoma, Marin, Santa Cruz and nearby have to be some of the best areas in the US…at least for us water types.

    13. I like doing houses almost as much as doing strange. You got a contractor you use, or are you flying solo? I’m seasoned, in the area, and always looking to expand…

  4. Fantastic idea! Let’s take two stories that were made up on the spot by the author and use them as “proof” to justify a life that is centered around banging shallow, attention-seeking sluts.
    Strive for something higher than that. Maybe not a family(unless you are really meant for that role)…..but at least find your purpose in life and find out how you can improve humanity. If you aren’t living your purpose then you’re guaranteed to go to bed every night feeling empty.

    1. you can definitely have it all, you just need a mid 6 figure income… sort that one out and you’re in the best of all worlds…

      1. Correction, *also* pump the iron and pump the spouse otherwise the mid 6 figures won’t be much of a consolation prize.

    2. Are you retarded? The author illustrated the fact that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

    3. I don’t see that at all. I see 2 very equally portrayed sides of the coin, in terms of marriage vs single life. I think the message was more “make your choice.”

  5. This was a great article. I strongly recommend paradigm #2 in the article. Let me share a few thoughts with my brothers here as to why:
    There is no such thing as a happy marriage. I’ve been married twice (no kids thank God) for a combined total of 5 years. Those five years felt like 5 minutes… underwater.
    Every married man who is sober is miserable to one degree or another. A “successful” marriage is one where the man convinces himself he is not as unhappy as he knows he is.
    A long term marriage devolves to the point where you begin to savor the suffering. It lets you know that you are alive. Just like a patient with gangrene eating his leg also knows that he is alive…
    A woman is like a vampire. She will suck the joy out of your life and leave you a shriveled husk of a man. But she must; that’s how she survives. Getting married is like agreeing to live in a vampire’s coffin for all eternity.

    1. to a certain extent i am inclined to agree, because an LTR involves her placing all kinds of financial and emotional demands on you, as well as sucking up a ton of your time with trivial crap like family dinners and sunday afternoon with her parents etc.
      there are only so many hours in the week…. and only so much time for enjoyment on the weekend… how can you find time for the gun range, surfing, hiking, (add masculine pursuit here), if you have family commitments to meet also…. how can you find time to work the 18 hour days, and all weekend to build an empire….
      the counter to her demands, is not to be like a 9-5er…. rushing off to the office in the morning with barely a sniff of coffee… and then come home passive in the evening, stepping into her domain where she’s very much ‘in charge’… she’s got weekend activities and commitments lined up for you, long before you have time to object or counter with other plans, you rely on evening meals at home and become like a zoo animal…
      on the other hand if you work a different kind of job or build your own business, so that you have genuine space and privacy and commitments away from the home, then you can be your own man….. allowing you to put just the right amount of effort back into the family, rather than having her suck you dry.
      the worst thing about an LTR is the loss of agency, so for example, you want to have a beer with friends and you find yourself wondering why you are starting to excuse yourself to the wife….. you have someone to answer to and that is not healthy.

      1. Good points. I just don’t want to see any of you guys lose it all in he blink of an eye. I’m from LA, and with no kids, must have lost through attorneys close to $300K. Please please don’t adopt that fatal flaw “it will never happen to me”. It’s simply NOT worth it on any level. I have nothing to gain by telling you all this. I don’t care how alpha or beta or whatever you think you may be you are not immune. They tried to destroy me personally and professionally. Just say no for Gods sake.

      2. Ray, you bring up valid points, and as a divorcee, who remarried (as you read in my other post), you MUST establish some Alpha rules–and yes, it’s not like being single. I hit the gym and work out with a core group of other men, usually younger, every other day (and played Rugby in the past, and Aussie Rules, etc), I do not go to all the events she wishes, and I create weekend adventures (and time on leave) for our family, or just with the kids, going camping etc.
        For me, I found that being a disappointment now and then in the “scheduled events” area, is HEALTHY and keeps her on notice (as she has pointed out) that I cannot always be counted on to go to so-and-so’s birthday party. So over the years, she beta’d down and started prefacing things with “I mean, if you want to go, if not, I can take the kids”, etc. So I pick and choose, just as she does on some things (she never likes to go camping, so that’s my father time with the kids…when we go as a family, we HOTEL it somewhere).
        EVERY MAN who marries MUST set clear boundaries, but just as women in marriages, you cannot be so rigid as to have nothing to offer. So, for example, I changed diapers on all my kids, and occasionally wash dishes and all that (as in, we have music on, kids finishing up and we are having great family time), and I have gone to the school field trips, etc. There is NOTHING unmanly about doing fatherly things like that to be present in your kids’ lives, and to ease the burden of a great wife who cooks every night (literally), stays in shape and does all the doc/dentist appts, etc.

        1. Scotty,
          Totally agree with your post. Also, I’d say it’s very helpful to have a job that’s a bit unpredictable. That way she gets used to you not being “reliable” for certain events and she comes to expect that you will or won’t go to things based on YOUR schedule.
          IMHO, it’s very helpful for men to travel, at least occasionally, for work. It helps get a little “dread game” going, and, it shows the woman that your schedule is YOURS, not hers. It also keeps them aware that you, without them, do just fine.

        2. yep, my buddy from my last job, and I would travel quite a bit, and we both noted (as I departed for a new assignment) how, on our last trip, it was the best way to leave it. We stayed up, drank coffee, and smoked cigs into the late nite, just BSing about our mutual experiences…in a cool motel down in the swamps (it had a Thoreau aspect to it all). I recall saying that THAT was basically “it” for me. Just having time away from the wives, with my buddy, one last time, just to talk shit with the ONE guy I trust imminently.

      3. “and then come home passive in the evening, stepping into her domain where she’s very much ‘in charge’… she’s got weekend activities and commitments lined up for you, ”
        If you let this happen to you, you really shouldn’t be married because you’re not leading the house. My wife and I wake up on Saturday and the first thing she asks me is “what are we doing today”. Now, sometimes, of course, we/she have other commitments, but 95% of the weekends of the year it’s up to me to make the plans. This weekend we rode our bikes twice, took our boat out, watched 2 movies together, went out to dinner, and did a few chores around the house. Had sex 3 times. We’ve been together for over 10 years, so, it’s not like this is “new”.
        Men need to take initiative. Sure, you can go hang with your family/girlfriends, but I’m not coming. And while your gone, I’m going to do things that I know you’d rather be doing than sitting around gossiping.
        Also, I think another “secret” to my success (so far, anyway) with my wife is to move her far away from family (1000 miles, in our case). It keeps the endless dinners/birthdays/holidays to a minimum. I couldn’t stand having to spend every holiday with my family, let alone hers.

        1. that requires constant planning during the week… i work hard, some weekends i just want to chill… women don’t get chilling… they need constant activities and entertainment….
          if you dominate then she’s got a stick up your ass to entertain her… if you don’t she’s got a stick up your ass with ‘activities’…
          moving away from family is fine for 5 minutes, until she builds a surrogate one of friends and baby mommas…. many of whom can be quite challenging to connect with.

        2. Ray,
          The thing you have to keep in mind is that those are activities are what I wanted to do this weekend. Not to “entertain her”, but because I felt like going out on the boat and going for a bike ride. If I felt like chilling, that’s what she would have done.
          Surrogate family is nothing like real family, IMHO. My wife has some friends in the area; but knows that there’s no way I’m going to give up more than a few hours every couple of months to see her friends. So she has to choose wisely. If we lived near family, there’s no way I’d be able to have as much free time with her.

        3. I think you need to find a woman who loves to chill. My woman hated activities with other people. She just wanted to chill with me.

        4. Women’s friends suck. Any invitation to hang with them always got a big fat “NO” from me. I made this clear early and it was never a problem later on.

        5. Agree with the “her domain” bullshit. E.g. if you treat your home, the one you paid for most of as “her domain” yes you are a bitch and you are happily relinquishing your frame. Do you guys not read this “game” stuff at all.
          Everywhere you go, it’s your frame, everything you do, its your frame. This constant pussy whining about how a girl will put your balls in a jar if you commit, or how the jews control everything so its pointless, it makes me sick and sad for you guys.
          Running the home is no different than running the office. There are

        6. ” This weekend we rode our bikes twice, took our boat out, watched 2
          movies together, went out to dinner, and did a few chores around the
          house. Had sex 3 times.”
          THATS your definition of “leading the house” bro?
          LOL. What a gay mangina.
          Tell your wife to fuck off, that you are gonna sit around on your ass playing moving games and jacking off because you are sick of looking at her used up pussy all the time.
          If she is still around by evening time..
          Then you know you are an Alpha and “leading the house”.

        7. Would love to do exactly what you described but I live under her roof and don’t pay any rent.

      4. I think the key with LTRs is laying down the rules early. Never make excuses. You’re going out with your friends? Well damn it you going out with your friends. Point is, you don’t have to answer to your woman. You do what you do and she can either stay on the train or get off at the next stop.

      1. My man, Hollywood and real life are two different things. I certainly don’t want to stand in your way in learning about life based on the imagination of a screenwriter.

        1. Umm, the original was Swedish and much more in line with demonstrating women’s leech-like vampiric qualities without the cheap veneer of Hollywood’s sensationalism machine. Granted, it was fantasy but the parallels were just too eery to pass up – hence my reason for linking to it in relation to your comment which I did not find misplaced at all given the context discussed here. Sometimes allegorical imagery can strike you much harder than even common day experience and serve as the catalyst needed for the light bulb to finally go of in your head. But to each their own I guess.

        2. I can see where you were coming from somewhat. All you had to was explain why you left the link. I guess not all of us are as intellectually blessed as you before the “light bulbs” finally go off in our heads.
          Just having some fun with you. Look forward to your future postings.

    2. Never get married and keep switching women when they act up. Once you’re too old to have a 20-year-old girlfriend, settle for a 30-year-old one. Lather, rinse, repeat.
      This is pretty much standard advice here; one thing I disagree with though is the idea that you should always have women on rotation so that you can instantly switch. It’s way too much hassle to do that, in my opinion. Plus, it kind of becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy in that women are more likely to act up if they know you’re cheating on them. You should however always act as if you ARE on the brink of cheating on them. That gets them horny.

      1. I agree. And it is fun. But remember, when it’s time to move on with one of them you simply can’t turn the switch off… They’ll start coming to your work, texting and calling incessantly and making your life a living hell. And yes, it’s kind of fun at first but then it can easily go overboard and you have to start thinking about restraining orders and things like that. Again, you don’t needs that shit.

        1. this is the problem ….. casual relationships are a woman’s way of worming into your world…. and in an LTR she’s already occupied your territory….
          it doesn’t work any other way, because your focus is on work, fun, relaxation, whereas her focus is more aligned around home, family and friends….
          thus she’s going to have you all wrapped up in tape, before you even blink…. keeping her at arms length simply results in her hassling the shit out of you, or wandering off to graze elsewhere….

      2. Best way to keep women on rotation (IMHO) is to maintain “friendships” with a number of women you know are attracted to you. If things start going wrong with your LTR, you can instantly start something up with one of your “satellites”. Has worked for me and is no hassle at all.

    3. 100% agreed.
      Married men with kids are always sick with flu, gastro or some other debilitating ailment because of their kids.
      They are also always tired from waking up in the middle of the night and looking after the kids cause its ‘my turn’.
      Weekends are fucked because cupcake has lunch at her mother’s house and there are always kiddies parties to attend.
      This leaves very little time and energy for masculine pursuits.

      1. You don’t need to be married to be sick with the flu, gastro, or some other debilitating ailment, all you have to do is eat the standard american diet and follow the advice of the health care industry.
        This is the age of equality man!

      2. Doesn’t make sense that you would get flu from your kids. More likely the other way round since you have a fully developed immune system and they do not.

      3. Bull fucking shit. You’re spouting something you don’t know shit about.
        This married man is healthy, fit, and happy.
        Your first sentence is lacking a qualifier: “married blue pill men with kids”.
        I set my weekend schedule. She goes along with me or does her own thing.
        AGain, why so many men give up their masculine frame when they get married is a mystery to me, as it only leads to misery and ultimately falied marriages and broken homes.

        1. Why so defensive?
          If one day your wife decides to stop having sex with you, what are you going to do about it?
          If one day she declares her unhaaaapines and asks for a divorce, what are you going to do about it?
          If one day she takes your kids away from you and publicly declares you an abusive husband, what are you going to do about it?
          Masculine frame ain’t gonna do shit in these situations.

        2. I wasn’t the OP, but I’m in his situation so I’d like to give my answers:
          “If one day your wife decides to stop having sex with you, what are you going to do about it?”
          Try to fix it. If that doesn’t work, start to slowly step out on her, which will likely fix it. If that still doesn’t work, divorce her.
          “If one day she declares her unhaaaapines and asks for a divorce, what are you going to do about it?”
          Nothing, let her leave. I have a pre-nup and I recommend that everyone else who’s considering marriage get one too. Not perfect, but, if my wife left tomorrow, I’d be richer a year later than I am today (without the cost of having her around). If she somehow managed to get an alimony award, I’d make sure we spent every dime litigating it, then I’d skip the country to avoid payment. And she knows it. Again, you have to REMOVE THE POSSIBILITY of cash/prizes.
          “If one day she takes your kids away from you and publicly declares you an abusive husband, what are you going to do about it?”
          Nothing you can do here. Don’t have kids. That’s the only safety net you have to prevent this kind of abuse. It’s very difficult to maintain the “go to hell” and “I’m better/richer without you” that you need to keep women attracted when there are kids around. You can’t protect against crazy CS payments, and while you can skip the country, do you really want to deny your children? It’s a no win situation which is why, I suggest that you don’t play. See my posts on male birth control if you want an undetectable way to make sure you won’t be stuck in this situation.

        3. Thanks for your responses, since you are a married man, I’d like to ask if there are there ANY benefits for a man to get married?

        4. Probably going to get myself banned for saying this. 🙂
          Yes, there are advantages. One is, of course, combining 2 incomes into one household. Makes both you and your wife richer and gets you closer to retirement if you can do it long term.
          The other is companionship. Think of it this way, if you marry right, your wife will be your best friend you you just happen to f((k on the regular. I enjoy being around my wife, both for sex and to enjoy our hobbies together. Just be careful with your frame; as soon as you start to slip shit will start to hit the fan, and you need to get yourself back into your “deal with wife” mode.
          I’m happily married; knowing what I do now, I’d do it again. My wife is a diamond in the rough though, out of most couples I know, I’m one of the few that’s really happily married. Perhaps the only one (racking my brain trying to think of another).
          For the love of everything holy, GET A PRENUP if you’re going to get married. Good luck maintaining frame when cupcake knows she can call the cops and have half of every thing anytime she feels like it!

        5. I agree overtaxed. When it gets to this point where we all need to step back and have to consider all these disastrous consequences it begs the question: is this sh!t even worth it?!?!

        6. I respect
          Your marriage. But when a woman divorces, she will clean out all joint accounts. Companionship will disappear quicker than a fart in the wind. Prenups don’t really mean much these days. Sad to say.

        7. Never leave any serious amount of cash in a joint account, always move it to a “more difficult to access” place, both for your protection and to keep yourself from spending it (protect it from yourself).
          Prenups aren’t the greatest, but, they are better than nothing. It’s the “appearance of strength” more than actual strength that’s important. If cupcake knows she can take you to the cleaner, it’s very hard to be the “alpha” in the house. If she thinks it’s going to be very hard to get the money and you make it known that you’ll spend every last penny you have making sure she gets nothing, it’ll make her think about it a lot harder. A prenup is like armor, it’s not all the helpful in a serious fight, but it sure does make you look more imposing.

        8. Good point. It’s reassuring that you’ve put a good of thought into this. I wish I had.

        9. Again, you’re wrong. Masculine frame in a familial setting comes with responsibilities. Wife decides to stop having sex, that’s a symptom of massive problems. You work at allowing her to address it, and if she does, she does. If she does not, there is a far greater problem than just not getting laid.
          A frivorce is always possible, I suppose. People can change, and if the wife is a Churchian, secular or one of those Protestant sects that changes spouses like wallpaper, that’s also an issue, but the fact is that you can be hit by a garbage truck every time you step on the sidewalk. Does that stop you? No. Personally, I’m not so afraid of something that I’ll forego it rather than risk trying and failing to keep it.

      4. Yeah, no. It doesn’t work like that. Marriage and kids, when trained and shaped to our wills as patriarch, are a reflection of our Will to some degree. We all must react to some situations, and our choices are limited there, but as patriarchs, we shape our marriages because we are the head of the family. A man who is a servant to his wife and children is not taking headship.
        I don’t do kids parties. But I have lived through it when my kids were toddlers. They were consumed with joy, and I was too, through them. They are my legacy and creation. I suspect that you see children as something else, which is fine, as you’re not a father right now. You can’t empathize. But in all truth, you’re wrong. It’s not supposed to be like that, and if it is, that’s the man’s fault for accepting it. Personal accountability is a bitch.

        1. ‘You’re not a father right now. You can’t empathize.’
          I get this a lot from family men, perhaps you are right, but I would argue the same of you. How do you know what true freedom is like when you are married with kids?
          ‘but as patriarchs, we shape our marriages because we are the head of the family.’
          The fact of the matter is that you can’t exercise your powers as a patriarch under the current cultural/legal conditions. If your wife acts up and starts disrespecting your ‘will’ what you going to do about it?

    4. brother, that’s just so not true for every man. I’ve been divorced (to a cunt that tried to damage me financially and professionally as well), and I purposely CHOSE to remarry after careful selection. My wife and I even kid (now ten years after being together) that our lovely little angels are such a pain and so much, loving, work that whomever files for divorce HAS TO TAKE the kids, lol.
      Maybe it’s because my wife is S. American, but there ARE good women, who see marriage as a contract, not a Richard Gere/Diane Lane romance and realize that having a family is what GOD intended for us. Btw, it helps that we are mutually religious and GOD fearing.

      1. Scotty,
        I’m happy for your situation. I really am. And I’ll absolutely take your word for the fact that you found someone different. My only concern is that a lot of guys reading this may get a false hope that they can do the same (not impossible) mind you but the statistical changes of succeeding are realistically akin to not only finding a needle in a haystack but a microbacterium in a haystack. Nonetheless, I’m happy for what you have though.

        1. I don’t know if it’s a false hope. I think that when you run a marriage the ‘red-pill way’, it’s a lot better. More sex, more fun, and a happy household.
          Run a marriage the blue pill way, and you end up with a bitch wife who won’t put out. Not because she doesn’t like sex, but because she is not attracted to an effiminate man. So many men make the mistake of thinking that they have to cut off their balls when the get married.
          Set the frame.
          You control your life and make sure when you decide to get married that your woman understands this implicitly.
          Take the lead, make the decisions, hold frame.
          Marriage takes a combination of alpha and beta traits. But if you don’t take the lead and run the household, you will fail.
          I’m married to an attorney. She thrives outside the office in wife/mother role IF I keep frame and remain the dominant person in the household. On the other hand, when she’s in charge (I’m out of town on business for example or sick), it’s a fucking out of control circus with no happy participants.
          Even though she is powerful in her sphere (the courtroom), at home she’s still a woman. And her biological imperatives outweigh all the intellectual bullshit that floats in her brain.
          At the end of the day, we’re still animals. Sentient yes, but our animal spirits rule us, and its the people who don’t acknowledge that who are the most miserable.

        2. The easiest advice (although probably not the most accurate) to guys looking to run “marriage game” is watch Mad Men. Then ask yourself, in a situation, “What would Don Draper do”. I’m not one for elevating people as role models, and, I realize that he’s just an actor, but, he’s a great example of how an alpha male acts in the house. It doesn’t mean that you need to cheat on your wife (although, you should always feel like you COULD if you wanted to), or that she has to stay home and tend to the house/kids. What it does mean is that you come home and take no shit from the woman. You tell her where you are going and when, and, if she wants to go somewhere else, so goes by herself. Don D doesn’t fucking walk around Homegoods carrying his wife’s purse. And, while she may bitch about it at the time, your wife/girlfriend doesn’t want you to do that either.

        3. Rational Logic,
          It sounds like you have a good situation with things. Everyone is different however. I simply cannot imagine busting a$$ all day long dealing with life and death scenarios then having to deal with an unsympathetic housewife throwing shit tests my way and having to maintain “game” and “frame”. It’s too exhausting and when I look at the spreadsheet it’s simply not worth the effort in my case. It is unavoidable I take my work home with me in my mind, I appear preoccupied and to my spouse it comes off as “emotionally unavailable” or some crock of shit like that. Unfortunately it’s not something I am able to deal with. More power to those who can.

        4. Overtaxed, dude, we think exactly alike. I was going to post that earlier…now, not EVERYTING in this day and age can be done like the Double D, but in general, he is the model. I grew up (GEN X) in the 70s/80s, so my father, uncles and all them, grew up in the 40s, and 50s (all were adults before the Beatles landed in NYC in ’64, the important turning point for the 60s). Everyone wore a hat, and suits all the time (we are from the Deep South though), and the way my grandfather acted was basically DD all the way. I think the generational differences have really become apparent to me, as I hit my mid-40s, and I don’t say that as a hit on Gen-Y (Millennials, etc). It’s just that, they were raised by the pussies that came a few years behind me, who’s parents were later 60s’/70s dropouts.

      2. Scotty, I wish you the best. I too am a God fearing person but would not marry even if Jesus himself ordered me to do it. I would respectfully refuse.

      3. Boom. What he said. Dalrock pointed out recently that true Christian marriage requires taking responsibility for headship of the family, and in so doing, if one follows the biblical guide for headship and isn’t made VERY uncomfortable at first, one isn’t paying attention. It’s no joke, but it works.
        I too, married a S. American. Our marriage is a matter of fulfilling roles and obligations, but then again, I’m old enough to know the difference between my marriage and my relationship with the Mrs. The two are not one.

  6. I was thinking about this yesterday evening. I’m married and feel like the guy in the first story but without children. Marriage is lonely, but what is the alternative? You can only party so long. I waited until I was 29 and was the last of my friends to “give in”. By being lonely I mean that I seldom see my friends. Most of my guy friends are married and choose to spend all their time with their wives; some I haven’t even seen since their wedding day. I’m the one that has to initiate things with my friends. They are perfectly content in their 9-5 jobs and Stepford wives.
    It sucks balls to put it lightly. Now as a married guy I only hang out with couples and all four of us have to get along or we never hang out EVER AGAIN. It’s like an interview/date every time. I have to be on my best behavior i.e, a false version of myself (no joking–might offend someone, can’t drink around these people, etc). So honestly, what is the alternative? I hate my life but don’t think it’d be much better as a single guy.
    The worst part of this is my married friends will never admit to having these thoughts.

    1. I feel you dude…my solution which obviously wont work for everyone: just bust out anyway when on a foursome. Get everyone drunk. Tell outrageous jokes. Flirt with the other wife then high five the husband. The ones that suck you’ll never see again. The diamonds in the rough will become fast friends, and fuck everyone else.

    2. I used to laughingly joke at the thought of actually retreating into the Great White North and taking on the existence of a real honest to God wood hermit. Fishing, hunting, preparing firewood, and only coming down to “civilization” for much needed supplies that could not otherwise be kindly provided by mother nature herself. Call it the calling of the great Manitou or what have you, but it did seem for a long time like a far-fetched, anachronistic, and rather absurd pipe dream fit only for a reality long gone from this world and soon to be discarded in ” favour” of the standard life script as ordained by civil society to which most men eventually end up surrendering. Now, having read your account and many like it, I am no longer so sure. It would appear the fear of loneliness is one of the last great control mechanisms designed to keep men in check. I hear the call of the wild and it beckons me. The log cabin. The lake. The dark forest. The snowy mountaintops in the distance. The time has come for this rogue to go all out Sasquatch on civilization. Rough, rugged, wild and free. Just as it should be.

    3. They never admit to it because married men are huge pussies. No offense to you personally, but it’s true.

      1. Oh I know. I know. We were with this other couple the other night and I couldnt believe how much of a pussy the husband was.

    4. Dude, here’s my advice. Fuck other people. I know this goes counter to most of the theory on here, but, in my opinion, living your life for other men is as bad as living it for women. Do whatever the fuck you want. You want to hang with the wife; do that. You want to go out and get drunk alone? Do that.
      It’s very hard to have friends as you get older. I’m a bit older than you (well, sounds like it from the age you gave), and I have very few friends of either gender. Doesn’t mean that I don’t have interests/hobbies. Just means that you do them alone or that you do them with you wife. I love boating, biking, travel, just hanging at the beach, woodworking, electronics, and lot of other things. Look at those hobbies; see a trend? All of my hobbies can be done ALONE. Or can be done with just me and the wife. And, 99% of the time, that’s what we do. I rode ~4000 miles last year on my bike. You know how many people, other than my wife, I rode with? 0. Not a single time have I tried to get into a group (there are lots of them in my area, I just don’t want the time/scheduling commitment), or reach out to my network to find other people who bike. I ride alone or with my wife, that’s it.
      I think that more men need to realize, and become comfortable with the fact that we/you are ALONE in the world. If you look to other people, men or women, to make you “whole” you will never be happy. Be a man, live the life of a loner and become an interesting and well rounded person though your experiences. Women are the sex with huge circles of friends (and the endless time that takes to maintain). Men, in my opinion, should have a few close friends (which, in my definition, is someone you talk to somewhat regularly and perhaps hang out with occasionally; someone who knows the real you and you would feel comfortable asking for advice) and a “soft network” of guys you could go out for a drink with, but who you wouldn’t care if you didn’t talk to for an extended period of time.

      1. You have good points. Too bad we can’t private message on here because I’d like to ask your opinion on some of the things you mentioned.

      2. My father told me something, of the very few things he left with me, when I was a teen…It was partially revealing of his own situation, and partially foretelling what I should expect as a man later. Although he had played some “adult men’s sports” when I was very young (handball, golf, a few times), my Dad was a loner, and said, “Scotty, you will find when you are grown man, most men don’t want to be friends”. I realize how true that is, when I hit about 30. It’s not bad, it’s just that eventually, it’s just out there. I was in the military, never was in frat, etc, and although I am largely extroverted, I basically preferred to be alone, or doing some things with my brother, or now, being with my kids. I don’t need guy friends really..other than the gym…I have (as Fight Club notes) “Single Serving” friends…that I keep in orbit for limited time/use. I enjoy my time alone.

    5. You like cars or bikes? Buy an older cool one then join a local car / bike club. I took my civilian gal to my first social Porsche event (so she could see it was all older gear-head guys and no hot babes — thus no jealousy BS), now I do them alone or use the weekend excursions as cover-stories for my other pursuits — like going to Tijuana to bang young chicas, for example.
      Pursue a hobby like fishing or shooting that you can do alone or invite other married guy friends to. You have to carve out a masculine niche of some sort that excludes your significant other.
      Share seasons tickets (2 seats) w/ a male friend or relative for a sport your wife doesn’t like and has no interest in. If you don’t have the dough, get a 5-10 game package then. Consider going to the strippers afterwards just for shits and giggles — but don’t let the stripper leave her scent on you!
      Develop an interest in something a little more exotic that requires travel. For example, my cousin and I are NOT big F1 racing fans, but love the party atmosphere in Montreal, Canada each June for the event, so we are planning on making it an annual thing now. Just tell the wife or civie you love car racing and want to make it your new hobby. Make sure you come back with a sexy little Ferrari T-shirt and a big boner for her and she’ll likely be just fine w/ it — especially if you lavish her w/ attention for a few days.
      Just a few ideas to help you out, gent, but I found that using cars and sports are great angles to play on in order to gain some independence / freedom / breathing space and forge some decent male friendships. In contrast, anything to do w/ Las Vegas, gambling, excessive drinking / smoking should NOT be used for this purpose as the women will always be on high alert. Men have God-given analytical and planning abilities far superior to women, so let’s take advantage of that in terms of escaping the roost and living some life away from the ball and chain.

  7. Details on the NYC story were awful.
    Bartender who lives in a 1BR in Manhattan with a balcony (in an office building)?

  8. Meet Rick, pushing 50, 5’11”, 150. Grey hair. 5 kids, married close to 20 yrs. Youngest kid is 3 years old. Rick is an indepent security and technology consultant operating internationally, lives in a penthouse overlooking one of the nicest looking and most expensive cities in the world with suprisingly little crime. He makes about as much money as anyone would ever need. Lots of brainpower required, but physical condition just as important, so Rick is in about the same shape as he was when a varsity star in high school.
    Rick’s wife looks kind of like Paula Abdul in that Outkast video, only better, she takes care of the kids and home, yet manages to exercise every day, never failing to remind Rick that regular, varied and frequent marital relations are essential for good health, well-being and clarity of mind (ie, she’s at least as horny as Rick). The last four kids were all born at home – Rick’s profession gave him the scheduling capacity to be there to catch his sons and cut their umbilical cords. She nursed all of them at length, yet doesn’t need to wear a bra if she didn’t want to. She prefers to prepare the food, all home made good stuff, never boring.
    Even though Rick works long hours, a lot of it is from his home offices, with some travel thrown in. They make sure to go out several times a month and take a vacation together (alone) a few times a year.
    Every night Rick goes to bed and thanks God that he did it his way, has his wife and family along with enough skills and wealth never to worry about being anyone’s slave, whilst having the freedom to educate his kids to be the same.

    1. I’m seeing a pattern here: freelancing is the key. The key to having a schedule and an income that allows a man to lead a man’s life.

      1. I have to agree with you, Senor. I’d add that being a freelancer is an automatic filter against women looking for a “stable” beta 9to5er. A woman has to be rather calm to commit to a guy who potentially lives from contract to contract – that’s a lot of respect right there, which keeps getting reinforced every new contract (or even better, extension).

      2. Bingo.
        Part of the “Beta slave life trip” is all about being a workaday wage slave. Beta-ness and working stiffery go hand in hand. Once upon a time men owned their means of production, but the changeover from black slavery to everybody slavery in 1865 and the dawn of the industrial (complex) age requires slaves of a sort. The oligarchs put their money to work on this.

    1. You leave out a third possibility – be the pair-bonded Alpha male and female wolves, reproducing so that these qualities won’t die out, keeping the hyenas at bay.
      You know, the laughing hyenas who deride hetero masculinity and femininity and riducule family and values, whilst getting fatter and meaner off the government titty (or off of some repressed homo beta who gets a good pegging once a month for his efforts).

      1. but human traits are less genetic and more social… thus this ideal of two lone wolfs is going to result in agony as you watch your kids get ‘socialized’ by the system…. unless you want to become a Hamish and live in the woods…

        1. Ray, that assumes one lives somewhere that there is no alternative to what the “system” has to offer – private schooling in a less-screwed up country results in happiness not agony, seeing your kids get the home attitudes reinforced, and the kids have like-minded peer group, for example.
          Man owns his life, for better or worse, without a plan it is russian roulette or worse.

      2. I prefer the idea of being the alpha lion with a gang of lionesses bringing me dinner….

        1. Cool, just move to one of the Islamic paradises like Saudi, become a Moslem, and marry four if you like.
          Beware of PMS times (or to the power of) 4, convieniently synchronised so all your lioness wives get it simultaneously every month (true biological fact that women synchronise periods when living together).
          My wife actually occasionally suggests I get a few concubines for when she’s not “up for it”, but she keeps me so satisfied I don’t even have to consider that option (she’s that rare one who is not “up for it” about once in 7 years, but she’ll still make sure I get drained if I need to).

        2. englishbob, it was a good joke, but in real life it can be very not funny.
          My wife and I notice that if some random fat broad (or any broad who weighs more than her which is easy because she is 50KGs) hangs out at our house and happens to be on the rag, my wife will have “a visit from Rosemary” even if it’s more than a week before her due-date with “the curse”, thereby fucking up our well-laid plans for regularly planned sexual mayhem.
          Our solution is for me to make sure that the “raggedy Anns” stay away until they get better.
          YMMV 😉

    2. The lonely wolf.
      The greatest test for a man is how he can live with himself alone.

    When you are dead, you don’t get to take anyone or anything with you… depending on your faith, you either pass into nonexistence, or go to heaven or hell.
    But no one goes with you. They all have their own lives to live, and deaths.

    1. Don’t forget reincarnation. Why do you think Hindus and Buddhist see your final passing into nirvana as the ultimate goal and measure of success in life. Because if you fail to liberate yourself from this world (i.e. manage to escape from the endless cycle of death and rebirth) you are condemned to repeat this existence in all of its suffering potentially for eternity. Even if you don’t believe it you have to admit it’s quite a neat concept and a fresh change from the cosmology more proper to the Abrahamic religions.
      Moral of the story? If you are here right now it means you failed badly in some past life. Better hop to it if you want to break the circle for good.
      As for the PUAs? They will return all right. Probably as earth worms if not outright protozoa. See where enslavement to the flesh gets you?

      1. Heres a thought.
        No reincarnation at all.
        No Heaven, no Hell.
        No space aliens. No Buddha, No John Lennon.
        Just you. For as long as your little movie lasts.

        1. Disagree. I don’t have the answers but I know there is far more to this world than what our eyes can see.

        2. Works for me Mr. Power.
          If I’m wrong and I wake up with 40 virgins and a stiffy in a magical opium den I’ll scream laughter across the cosmos.
          There is certainly beauty in the world… and I’d take this shitty absurd life over no life… but I’m not betting on Jesus showing up and all being like “YOLO Broski wild ride eh dawg? Let’s head back to my place and grab a few barewskis with Santa and Dr. Seuss yeeeeeeaaaaaaahh”.

        3. I’m with you man I know.
          The grass is always greener but everyone has their bullshit insecurities, griefs, and fears.
          Some people are just more committed to hiding it than others.
          IMO the only solution is humour. The Joker is hands down the best villain ever.

        4. Lmao. Oh and hey dawg Hendrix is supposed to drop by too.
          There’s just too many strange things for me to honestly believe its lights out and that’s it. To each his own.

        5. Immortality already exists in the universe, we are stardust. Sure we’re all unique snowflakes and whatever, but the more you read, the more you realize that everything has already been thought of, than you realize people on similar journeys as yourself have come and gone, and you see you are part of a “spirit” of course temporarily, Your ego “identity” has not been transcended yet, identify with the stars, they live 1 billion years, and also there are new planets in the universe somewhere starting all the time, with other intelligent life, our physical body burns out, but the emotional conscious creative energy doesn’t belong to us, its the universe’s and it is immortal and infinite. To suggest that “i” die. What is the “i” ? Stardust. or the “tao”it can never die its an infinite loop. Anyways i was conflicted with existential angst and fear of death and the futility of it and all, it ruined my motivation but i became enlightened in my quest and now i’m at peace with my mediocrity and the nature of existence. Life is a fart in the wind. I recommend the world as will and representation by Schopenhauer for anyone who wants to become enlightened. It is a volume on your spirit, or the “will” that is your driving desire for aesthetics and life in genera;. Though, we must live with a continually dis-satisfied will, so don’t go in with the attitude that life is conclusive and that some answer will leave you calm. Ultimately the angst is part of the mental transaction for the gud energy. Also interestingly if it becomes a neurotic habit to contemplate the end, i recommend paradoxical intention therapy , some genial stuff on self-mind-control techniques. Master your mind, Master the universe, As the universe itself is an idea in your head! You are the center of the universe, your own mind for this reason.

        6. I should also point out that Nirvana (or Brahman for the Hindus) is often mistaken for a vast dark eternal nothingness. That is an erroneous interpretation as it actually refers to a sort of generalised egoless universal consciousness from which the phenomenal world (what we take to be the real material world around us) is actually “projected”, much like a complete environment in a holodeck simulation. The problem is that we have no tangible point of reference when operating from our carnal existence (i.e. state of bondage to the phenomenal world by way of our bodies, sense organs, and neuro-chemical substrate for generating brain-based acts of consciousness) from which to describe, much less imagine, what it really “feels like” to become Brahman again. The only tangible point of access to this realm while still in bondage (alive) is by way of certain specific carefully controlled meditative practices. And, as long as one has not taken a personal peek at Brahman oneself, one would be perfectly excused for accusing said practitioners of cheap charlatanism designed to fleece the profoundly gullible in search for “enlightenment”. But once the state of Brahman has, in fact, been glimpsed, even if only slightly, it becomes very difficult, if not outright impossible, to become an entrenched nihilist as far as what we erroneously call the “afterlife” is concerned.
          It should be pointed out, however, that even the personally confirmed existence of Brahman does not dispel one from this life and from one’s responsibilities and consequences while egologically enmeshed with it. Live your life to the best of your abilities and do not squander your probable one chance at this existence in the here and now. But rest assured that there also does exist something inconceivably deeper and more unfathomable than this here sorry material state of affairs. And it goes way beyond the childish notions of a bearded man up there in the clouds, a hooved goat-legged fellow down in the belly of the earth, or a harem filled with 40 eagerly awaiting virgins in a desert oasis paradise of gardens, flowing fountains, and succulent fig trees. Sheesh, how profoundly unimaginative can you get? Though I guess the unwashed masses really do need something they can concretely relate to in order to keep the fear of the grim reaper at bay.
          Ponder these point at your leisure while contemplating the night sky. No drugs though. They are part of the phenomenal world and only serve to keep you in bondage. Transcendence is only attained in a state of uttermost purity of body and soul.

    2. Having family is no guarantee that they’ll be at your death bed. It’s sad but true.

  10. Roosh PLEASE stop / erase the pornographic photos, mostly gay that are being posted in the comments section. I check this site in public sometimes (coffee shop now) and don’t want any trouble!!!

  11. I’m in my late 50s and married. All I can talk about is experience. Most of the married guys in my demographic have constant unhappy looks on their faces (including me). Their wives never shut up and are constantly interrupting and talking over them. There is one outlier, but I think that is mainly because he doesn’t hear well. The only single guy always looks happy and energetic. Take from all this what you will.

    1. Ha I work with a hearing impaired dude and he is the happiest motherfucker I know. Nothing gets him down, he just ignores anything he doesn’t like the sound of and pawns it off on his hearing. Cracks me up big time.

    2. I’m in my late 30’s and married. And, I agree, most of the people in my demographic that are married have a “dead look” in their eyes. But, IMHO, most of that is because they had children, their wives got fat, and they have no “escape route” anymore. If you don’t have kids and have a good pre-nup, you always have the “fuck it” option. Your wife will know that, which makes you more attractive to her. I’m very happily married. However, what I have is marriage 1.0 with no children, nothing like most men have today (and most women think that they want). My life is much more “Mad Men” than this bullshit that my generation seems to think is marriage today.
      And, in case you wondered, people are always asking my wife “what’s your secret” for how she stays so young looking and why her husband is always in a good mood. The secret is that we don’t play feminist bullshit in my house. I lead, she follows, and we have a wonderful time together. Of course, she also finds me much more attractive because of this (it’s what she, and 99% of women out there really want, to follow a man they trust and love). Her friends, of course, are unbearable harpies that have run all over their husbands and never have sex. And they wonder why they are unhappy.. Stupid women.

      1. I agree – there are guys that have happy marriages. Unfortunately, the ‘sphere was not even a twinkle in anyone’s eye when I got married 20+ years ago. I only learned about the ‘sphere a couple of years ago. Before that I was the perfect white-knight beta. Who knows how it would have turned out had the ‘sphere existed back then. The people are right who say you need game in your marriage more than you need it in your single life.

  12. Chaos or become placed in the prison we as humans created for ourselves.
    Either way you look there is no good option. I am starting to understand why God said not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. No, I am not a religious man but I do feel like the Bible was more of a tool than a actual account of events. It was layer in subtle language.
    Bottom line is dammed if you do dammed if you don’t. Ignorance is seems is bliss as Cypher from The Matrix said. When I seen that movie again after all the hype from the special effects, I wonder why he would want to go back to the Blue pill world. But now, if I am being honest I kind of now see why he wanted to.
    It makes me think in the end did Neo make the right choice for HIM, or for other people’s future chaos.

    1. “I am starting to understand why God said not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge….Bottom line is dammed if you do dammed if you don’t.”
      -This is the best comment I’ve read in months on RoK.
      Great comment. So much wisdom.
      We humans are indeed paying the price for Adam, as we are his progeny. And it’s the brutal truth: the more you learn about life, the more you wish you didn’t know what it was all about – a fleeting illusion of love, laughter, happiness, sorrow, pain, pleasure, suffering and hope. And we’re just tools, subject to bpth determinism and freewill, in that illusion.

  13. As a married Red Piller (to a Hispanic, South American born woman), I feel bad for the brothers I know, trapped in awful marriages to (mostly) white American women. We have three wonderful little ones, my wife is a full time teacher (which means easy hours, summers off), a Republican, and great mother to our children, daughter to her parents, and wife and life partner to me. She cooks, I do “manly things” best I can around the house, we both hit the gym, and have both done our share of changing diapers and all that. Overall, though, we have assigned gender specific duties (I never cook, she never puts gas in the tank, or fixes the grout, or takes care of the lawn, except for flowers). We know what God designed us for, and we live it. We are raising our children to be Godly people, which means, no “Disney” crap, no demonic American commercialism (best we can prevent), no gay stuff, etc.
    We both were previously divorced, many years ago, but met in our 30s, and rebuilt the families we always wanted, and now we have it. I hope for all of you, that in whatever way, you find it. There ARE good women out there, but too few it seems. Our (American) culture has RUINED white women (black women are so far gone it’s not even worth mentioning), so all I can advise you is, find you a foreign woman (even a black African, or Arab, etc). They still respect men and respect that God made the two sexes different for a reason.

    1. You’re an exception to the rule.
      And the rule is: Marriage brings agony to men.
      Let’s not make the exception to the rule, to be the rule to be followed.
      But with all due respect, congratulations on having a happy marriage.

      1. Thanks and yes. Case in point, very good and old friend, same business as me, a few years back, moved (with his wife) to our metro area. There was the possibility that he and I could at least have some occasional bromance, Alpha time, going shooting, or playing pool, hitting the gym for an hour of working out and bullshitting about life, work, etc. This buddy, whom I love as a brother, was such a little bitch that unless we were getting together with the kids (as couples/families) it was like he could NOT get the fuck away from his wife (who happened to be Israeli…and ugly). My wife even kidded about it, and basically called it out for what it was…he LIKED being with his wife 24/7. She was the replacement of any male friendship he ever had. I saw him downtown during work hours a few times (and holy shit, she was there a couple of the times), and then after three years, they moved on. He was, what many men on here see, and feel. And I get it and I want to change that for men, and part of it is who you are internally, and part of it is whom you choose to marry.

      2. Another rule, friend: “Life is terminal” (ie, it always ends in death, no exceptions).
        Why not make the best of it, don’t let anyone abuse you and don’t abuse anyone.
        Make good choices, knowing you only have limited time and many times not much chance for a “do over”. Then own the results of your own choices.
        Marriage generally only brings agony to grown men who either married for ulterior motives or refused to engage with reality (and instead ate the shit that TPTB [the powers that be] force-conditioned the sheeple into conforming to).
        Being a Man in the traditional sense of the word (strong, smart, thoughtful, analytical, responsible leader) without compromise will allow one to attract, keep and satisfy a Woman in the traditional sense (nurturing, supportive, caring, sensitive, comforting and damn intuitive).
        It’s all about achieving and maintaining appropriate gender-roles and not the distorted, sick, fake materialistic parody foisted upon us by ugly homosexual/feminazi/eugenic societal planners.
        “Game” simulates this, the real mastery is a Man and Woman not acting but being their true selves. Through game, the uninitiated can begin to see the light. By not succumbing and removing oneself and perhaps one’s progeny from the equation, one can propagate the proper model and hopefully one day, turn this all around to where it should be.
        Don’t be a victim, hiding alone to avoid the butthurt, be a Man and hunt for and conquer your own good life and destiny.

        1. “Why not make the best of it, don’t let anyone abuse you and don’t abuse anyone.”
          – This happens if anyone WON’T abuse you. You can control yourself, not others.
          “Make good choices, knowing you only have limited time and many times not much chance for a “do over”. Then own the results of your own choices.:
          – Do men face the wall like as women do? NO!
          As long as a man keeps his resources, and himself intact, he CAN get a woman, even if he is ‘old.’ Stop spewing doomsday female jargon, i.e.
          ‘man up and marry.’
          “Marriage generally only brings agony to grown men who either married for ulterior motives or refused to engage with reality (and instead ate the shit that TPTB [the powers that be] force-conditioned the sheeple into conforming to).”
          – lol! Say that to the innocent divorced men worldwide, and see what you’ll get. Stop blaming men, you sound like a feminazi now.

          “Game” simulates this, the real mastery is a Man and Woman not acting but being their true selves. Through game, the uninitiated can begin to see the light. ”
          – This is the only thing agreeable in your entire comment. But again, Game works, but it doesn’t work all the time or on everyone in a failproof way.
          “By not succumbing and removing oneself and perhaps one’s progeny from the equation, one can propagate the proper model and hopefully one day, turn this all around to where it should be.”
          – Hats up to surrogacy! Men can now fuck around, but have children by renting a womb, if they ever choose to procreate. No more hassles of tolerating a woman, just for the sake of progeny.
          “Don’t be a victim, hiding alone to avoid the butthurt, be a Man and hunt for and conquer your own good life and destiny.”
          – No one’s being a victim. The idea is to stop men from becoming one. Men need not to ‘man up’ simply for the sake of marriage, which usually serves women in the end. Men are the custodians of commitment, and it is upto them to decide whether they deem it necessary to give it to a woman or not. Enough of the man up jargon – ‘be a Man’.

    2. i bet you still have to sit around on the weekend when her boring friends and their gray husbands come over and nod and make polite conversation… i bet you still have to do all the tedious, ceremonious Christmas dinners, and watch little jimmy play his first awful violin solo (not to mention the 50 kids that come before and after him).

      1. Ray, absolutely there is some of that. It seems it is ALWAYS someone in her (extended) families birthday, but she knows I set aside my Powerlifting time (and in the past Rugby), and we have established understandings that I will not always be there for every stupid “celebration” her family chooses to party over (and the rest I enjoy!). And yep, the kids can be a pain, but I signed up for it and enjoy it (I have older children as well). Much of what you write is true, but I find a lot of that, with the proper wife, to be Alpha male challenging as it has been for centuries. (like pushing back on Liberal school administrators, cunt neighbors, staying in shape, teaching your sons ball, staying on top of what your daughters wear out in public…that’s just being a proper man/father, etc).

  14. I don’t know what can be done about it but this faggot spam porn needs to go.I’m not going to recommend people to this site if guys are getting it in the ass and shit enough already.

  15. Great article and an honest look at the trade offs a guy makes if he has something going for him when he gets married. I’m Mark down a T, including the profession (I’m a tax accountant), even down to the interns and twenty something staff and senior accounts that show interest on occasion. Wife had a tight body that hasn’t quite recovered from having our son. But she dotes on both of us, wants our son to grow up to be a man and not some feminized bitch, and even if her looks aren’t what they were she is still the same funny witty person that I married in our twenties who laughs at my inappropriate jokes and makes some of her own. Sex is on demand, She encourages me to go out with my friends and doesn’t lock me down or guilt trip me. She still looks at me with that wide eyed smile the same way when we were dating in our twenties. She looks to me to make decisions and lead. I supervise some fellow betas at work and while I don’t bring up game explicitly I try to work with them to make them better leaders and men. I’m friends with several Dans. I occasionally wish to trade places with them and at times I get the feeling is mutual. I’m in the right place for me; I tell the Dans they should do what they are doing until it doesn’t work for them anymore. I’m happy, but let’s see if that’s the case in another ten years.

    1. Just don’t take it for granted. There’s a lot of people in way worse situations than that.

  16. Look at the Hugh Hefner Paradigm:-
    “Hefner married Northwestern University student Mildred Williams (born 1926) in 1949. They had two children, Christie Hefner (born 1952) and David (born 1955).
    Before the wedding, Mildred confessed that she had had an affair while
    he was away in the Army. Hefner called the admission “the most devastating
    moment of my life.”
    A 2006 E! True Hollywood Story profile of Hefner revealed that Mildred allowed him to sleep with other women, out of guilt for her infidelity and in the hopes that it would preserve their marriage. It didn’t; they were divorced in 1959.
    Hefner remade himself as a bon viveur and man about town, a lifestyle he promoted in his magazine and two TV shows he hosted, Playboy’s Penthouse (1959–1960) and Playboy After Dark (1969–1970). He admitted to being “‘involved’ with maybe eleven out of twelve months’ worth of Playmates” during some of these years.”
    “Hefner then began to move an ever-changing coterie of young women into the mansion,”:
    In the end, he’s still single and banging chicks all along.
    Commitments are an illusion, and a lottery. You can take it, or choose not take it.
    Either way, you’re damned. The question remains: better to be damned for choosing a commitment, or better to be damned for not choosing one?

    1. Sorry, BS.
      Hef the latent fag got cuckolded by some BBCs, his wife even got knocked up by one (and had the kid). So he decides to get revenge by mainstreaming porn culture so he can help (along with gay, feminazi and eugenics pushers) make all the rest of the boys potentially “just as happy as him”.
      Try looking at some reruns of that Playboy Mansion show, when that toothless degenerate 80-year old fag lays a slobbery kiss on one of the 23 year old silicon sin sisters, look carefully, maybe even frame by frame, at the look of revulsion on the skag’s face. There’s not enough money in the world to sweeten that.
      Reality check.

  17. I would take marks life over dan’s any day. He has a decent wife who loves and cares about him. The grass always seems greener but I can bet a lot of players just want what mark already has!

  18. ‘the thought of dying alone scared him’. Have a look at the ratios of men to women in nursing/retirement homes.

  19. Fantastic writing!
    But….if you want kids, it does help the kid’s growth if mom and dad are married, for better or worse. And, it’s tough, very tough, but if you consistently game an LTR, it’s possible to keep it together.
    Second, I find it difficult to believe a bartender makes THAT kind of scratch. That, and, there’s nothing respectable about a dude being a bartender past his twenties, arguably past 25. Ain’t no chick gonna go for a bartender that old. By that time, a guy should have locked down more impressive income, be it entrepreneurial or not.

  20. Marriage fucks up the sex.
    I’ve known a lot of couples who couldn’t get their hands off each other in public, fucking in public places, boasting about their lives etc.
    3 years into the marriage (some even within 6 months) – the man’s already bored fucking his wife, and hates even sex now!
    “Why to bring home a cow, when you get the milk for free” is one of the truest analogies in life. Sex with a woman before marriage is a pleasure, but after marriage usually becomes a bore and a chore.

    1. Men don’t get bored fucking the women they marry. One of 2 things happens:
      1) She gets fat
      2) She becomes such a bitch, or it’s such a hassle to have sex, they just give up.
      I’ve been nailing the same woman for over a decade, it’s not “old” or “boring”. Sure, some sex is better than others, but that’s the case if you bang a different random every night or the same woman for the next 50 years. It’s not boredom, it’s lack of desire to listen to the BS that most married woman wrap around sex. It’s also, IMHO, low testosterone in many cases (caused by endless nagging, but still, low testosterone).

      1. yep. The real answer here is “why does she do those two things?”.
        The reason those things happen is that the men in those relationships lose their masculine leadership and frame.
        Improve yourself, display high value, take the lead, and watch your frigid wife either transform in the sexy HB you married, or don’t and get ready for the divorce rape.

      2. Familiarity breeds contempt. Plus the feeling of being caged in a relationship with a woman just to get sex. Once a player, always a player.
        That’s what I understood from those men. Nothing to do with testosterone, they could still fuck around with other women (which they long to do so).

  21. excelent article – our author is creative and objective- i found myself contemplating both situations.

  22. How about hypnotherapy? Every time your wife turns off the light you suddenly become 20 years older… making you grateful for what you have?

  23. Very thought provoking, well written story. Talk of the ‘grass is always greener’ syndrome! My story is a bit the reverse of the player who has fun during his youth and then longs to settle down. After some 21 years with my wife (including dating as youngsters and married time) we separated last year. Since then I’m adapting, but I have to say I’m enjoying the added freedom I have and the potential it brings.

    1. If I might ask, what caused the separation? One would think that after 21 years, most people would be able to resolve any problems that they might encounter.

      1. Good question. The best way I can explain it is that we slowly let the passion die out over the years, unfortunately. Then I ended up straying with another woman who although a freak in the sack turned out to be some borderline psychotic who caused all sorts of trouble…think of something akin to Fatal Attraction, although not that extreme. Yeah, there’s a lesson there somewhere. Pick your women wisely, even if you think it’s just for some ‘fun’. I can laugh about it now at least, but I take full stock and responsibility for my poor choices. You live and learn.
        Anyway, me and the wife talked it out calmly, realized that our relationship as an intimate couple was over, and sorted things out very amicably. I can’t really complain much about her. She’s a good woman all in all, a great mother to our kid, grounded and responsible. And we remain on very good terms, which is best for everyone especially for our son. Life goes on. You just have to adapt.

        1. Thanks for sharing that. I’ve noticed that the freakier the woman, the higher the propensity towards mental health issues.
          I think women don’t realize that it’s important to keep the passion alive. I’m not sure if this is the same situation you are referring to but women seem to project that waning sex drive/passion they experience in their 40s due to a drop in hormones to their husbands —“if my sex drive is going, his must be also”.

  24. It is unrealistic that a bartender could own a condo in Manhattan. In the financial district no less. If the author is unfamiliar with that reality, what other realities of single and/or married life is he unclear on?

    1. Actually he said “rented”. That said he probably couldn’t afford that either but I don’t think that detail is important to the point the author is making.

  25. Fast forward ten years
    Mark’s 16 year old daughter is the proud mother of Da’Markus. His son loves it up the ass. And he pays his 190# ex-wife 60% of his income between alimony, child support. Every night Mark looks at that drawer containing his Block and wishes that he had the courage to eat it.

      1. Or:
        Fast forward 18 years and Mark’s 24 year old daughter just married some cool, well-grounded alpha (who happens to be quite wealthy), his son has just ‘exited’ the disruptive-tech startup he founded with 130 million big ones, and attends the wedding with his trophy wife and 4 kids before they go on an around-the-world tour for the next year.
        And when asked about it, Mark’s kids will answer – we got all of this because of how our parents acted to each other and us while we were growing up.
        Then Mark and his wife of several decades can get some quality time of their own now that their nest is empty.

  26. “Dan could not see a future with this girl, as she gave it up way too easy. He kind of wanted her to leave.”
    I hate that feeling. I’ve actually put women in a taxi at 3 in the morning because I wanted to sleep by myself.

    1. Me too. I hate that feeling too.
      Post coital ‘cuddles’ can sometimes be the most draining thing in bed.
      In the wild or the animal kingdom, most male species also withdraw immediately after orgasm, and don’t stick around the female. Sometimes that could mean death, as the female would then devour them, as in the case of the black widow spider.
      It’s perfectly natural to feel the need for distance after sex with a woman.

  27. Agent P is on a similar track to the Senor. He is 45 and married with two kids.
    Yes he did fall into a Blue pill marriage life vortex but before his life force was winked out he caught site of the red pill and re-engineered his life to something infinitely more workable. He too owns and runs his own business as he has since about the time he got married. He has a wife and two kids. Wife was brought onto the red pill paradigm about 6 months ago and it has been very favourable experience for the entire family. Agent P calls shit as he sees it and doesn’t cow-tow to people in any context. The kids are respectful and obedient and widely praised by other parents of all ages and stripes as being some of the most polite children they have met in ages.
    Mrs. Agent P is a stay at home but will be going back to work shortly. As part of the red pill experience she has come to realize that in any kind of frivorce action that she and the kids would lose more than anybody. Even before the red pill she understood that if it blew up I’d have a girlfriend 10 years my junior in a matter of weeks while she would have to trade up to a man ten years her sr. if she was lucky. she now weighs less then our marriage day and sexy time is better then any time in the 14 years relationship(11 years marriage). Agent and Mrs P talk openly about other peoples disaster marriages in the making and how feminism has corrupted our society and ruined the education system. She actively works to maintain sexiness and a traditional patriarchal home for all involved. She is not afraid to prod agent P into working harder to be a better man, as she knows agent P will do to her.
    Agent P walks home for lunch and bangs his wife stupid on days of the week that have a vowel in their name. He then enjoys a salad and goes back to work. When agent P arrives home a nice dinner is ready as Mrs P is a trained chef so the food is almost always top notch, better than a restaurant and also prepared according to the family Paleo diet plan.
    Agent P takes regular trips abroad to race on big fat yachts with very rich owners who delight in winning pickle dishes in exotic locales. For this Agent P is showered with free flights, lots of swag, lots of booze and the pleasure of sailing in very pleasant places with nice people throughout the year. In his absence his business partners do a fine job of keeping the business on track. Agent P is blessed as he acquired this skill early in life and has been through well over 30 world championships around the world and has even won a few of them. For good measure he got to join two pro teams for a few years and do some events he never thought he would be able to accomplish when younger, thus fulfilling pretty much his absolute boyhood sports start fantasy. Likewise while he was with those teams his earnings were double that of a normal year, which is already north of $100K in a regular year.
    Agent P reads and researches constantly to understand where culture and society is going and delights in using that knowledge to prepare himself and his family for how the world is changing. Agent P can frequently be found building interesting new systems for boats, gardens or aircraft to keep himself entertained and enjoys sharing these activities with his children and the few close red pill friends he has. If he is not doing that, he is lifting, cycling or possibly building an art installation to stimulate his mind and his spirit.
    Agent P used to have a very helpless and cynical version of the world that was lonely and kind of sad. He re-tooled his life to value agency, friendship, awareness and honesty. He has taken the power of team building and applied it to his family and life to overcome challenges and make it a fulfilling if challenging experience.
    Sure, you can assume everyone is out to fuck you but if you do your life may well become shallow and meaningless and may end up a very lonely place. Can he be hurt by others? Sure he can but this is a risk he can accept in light of the rewards he can reap in all aspects of his life. There is a third paradigm.

  28. This was a well-balanced article, and it’s interesting to see how shit got stirred up.
    The least surprising response that I see comes from the myopia of being a 20-something male reader here. No one can imagine compromising in life, trading off the things you want for the things you need, and that’s a childlike view of reality. This is exacerbated by a willful ignorance of changing values that come with time. Hormones and hard-wired behavior explain 99% of our behaviors, and the only constant with those two inputs is that they are never, ever static in nature, so it’s the height of immature hubris to believe that your values at 25 will reflect your values at 40. Haven’t we all seen those too-old men and women at public venues, interacting with the 20-somethings, making us all feel slightly ashamed for them and their ridiculous immature ways? There’s something unnerving about witnessing unnatural behavior, and nothing screams Display of Low Value than some aged troll who is too self-involved to see that they don’t belong. THAT is the myopia I was talking about. Arrested development. The thing is, it really is development. As men, we WILL experience changes in our goals and desires. The most interesting part of this article to me was in how our fictional men dealt with uncertainty. One accepted, one delayed dealing with it. Enough said.

  29. This is actually a fantastic story showcasing the ups and downs of both sides of the coin. Both men are Alpha – make no mistake. Some might say that Mark is beta because he’s a corporate drone, did what was expected of him, and quietly lives the complacent suburban life. A lot of people in the manosphere make this mistake. Marriage and settling down is not beta. He has a sweet, traditional wife who obviously accepts him as the man, head of he house hold, and providing father. Has the game ready for him, fetches him a beer, and makes home cooked meals every night for him while he relaxes. They have two wonderful kids, and he obviously has some sharp looks and gets eyes from hot young fresh-out-of-college blonds as he is obviously high value.
    Sadly, both men are unfulfilled and this goes to show that in life you are never 100% content. You will always want more – you will always be chasing happiness until the end of your days.

    1. Also, I think you were going for *Marriage Paradox ? More of a fitting title I’d say.

  30. “As Dan slides into the table, they are pleasantly greeted by his old college friend Alyssa who is serving tonight.
    “Rickard’s White for you Dan?” she asks.
    “Always trying to plump me up, aren’t yah,” he says sheepishly.
    “You know me too well,” she replies, pleased with the flirting”
    This is flirting??? lol. Blue pill stuff.

  31. Make no mistake: Marriage in American is a very, very, very bad idea for a man.
    No wife, no family, no kids. That is a small price to pay in order to secure your freedom from the feminist state, which would like to put you in jail, embargo your earnings, and trap you in a marriage of servitude to an angry, fat, entitled bitch.
    Yes, it is sad that an intelligent man that values his freedom from oppression must give up on the idea of marriage and family. But, every generation has its cross to bear. Personally, I’d much rather be single with occasional small regrets about not having a family that to have had to fight my way up the Italian peninsula during WW II.

  32. What is the point of the first picture, which appears to be a streetwalker soliciting a potential client? Doesn’t seem to tie into the article at all.

  33. I would like to have seen one more character introduced, in addition to Mark and Dan. “Meet Bert. A 30-something bachelor of average looks and means who rarely gets attention from the ladies and rarely has sex.”
    There are a lot more Berts out there than Dan’s. There are few 30 year old bartenders who can afford an upscale apartment in Manhattan and have a steady stream of hot young women to bed.

  34. I think the message here is no matter what path you choose, you’ll be
    missing out on something else. Each person in these 2 situations longs
    for what the other has, not realizing it’s 2 sides the same coin. There
    are pros and cons to each lifestyle, you just have to decide what’s
    important to you at this time of your life. That can also change as you
    get older-priorities always keep shifting, your interests change, etc

  35. Interesting contrats. What “they” dont teach you (they meaning “those with the power to do so”) is not only how to be a man…alpha male, game, etc. but also what to expect with marriage and children. Both take a lot of but unrelated committments.
    In this case, the grass is always greener. Both of these guys should never “ponder” or “wonder” but to simply compare themselves to 10 or 5 years ago and set future goals.

  36. The meaty park of the bell curve is the average part, it’s the massive part which is for the masses. Not sure if that is what you meant.

  37. Mark was with 29 women by age 25? That’s a high notch count. Would be more relatable to readers here if the number was in the 1-5 range.

    1. Barely. The author of this has been with 42 and is 20 years young. I’d hope to god everyone commenting has been with at least 10 or more.

      1. And of course, it’s utterly probably that many of the mastaplayas such as yourself would tend to have low to zero tolerance of some tasty somewhat young doll who has sampled the schlong-smorgasbord to a similar extent?
        Just curious.

  38. Ain’t that the fucking truth! This is something that all men should think about – long and hard. The grass really is ALWAYS greener on the other side.
    This site attracts a lot of young men – men in their 20ies or early 30ies. This story may not mean that much to you – but as you grow older you will start to gain a better understanding of this. The will to just “fuck bitches” turns into a will to actually procreate. You will start to feel that you want to leave a legacy behind. Our only shot at immortality as humans is our children.
    Now you might say “go to a sperm bank”. Call me old school (please do, I take it as a compliment) but I think that children should be raised by a mother and a father.
    I’m not saying get married or don’t get married. I’m just spilling some old-man philosophy here.

    1. idk dude. I am 41 and my desire to procreate is far less now than it was 10 years ago. Too much red pill perhaps.

  39. I’ll never understand. No matter what the article some guys gotta try to keyboard warrior beat up someone not alpha enough to suit their fancy. We’re so savaged by feminism and all the other left wing PC crap that is eating our society alive that some feel the need to try and cannibalize others they deem unworthy. You don’t even know who is ripping on you. Could be some skinny 32 year old dweeb with a low notch count. The whole notch count thing is another matter. I’ve known since I was a very young man how guys lie. So it’s tough enough out there. Men are not needed, we are an endangered species. Unless or until the whole shebang collapses and then the Genghis Khans among us will finally have the opportunity to restore a little needed balance to this wretched world. In the meantime I enjoyed the article. The best way is to enjoy the Dan lifestyle as long as you can. When you become Mark, nail that blond southern cutie. You’re spoken for but if you play it right you can have the occasional diversion. Is that alpha enough?

  40. I’ll take my chances and live a life on the outskirts of the Andes, with a nice Latina villager babe as I herd the cattle back. No bills no hassle of the daily modern society. And incase shit hits the fan, I’ll at least be far from the chaos of it all..

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