How To Avoid Trouble When Living The Villain Lifestyle

I’m under no false illusion that readers of ROK are all upstanding law abiding citizens. I’m pretty sure a lot of us either have or had habits that have landed us in some sort of hot water with the law. Those who know what I’m talking about know this kind of trouble can be both physically and mentally taxing and takes a huge toll on finances.

I’m also aware that there are some illegal activities men can’t or won’t let go of. Whether it’s an addiction, the money, a sense of identity, or just being an adrenaline junkie, there are a plethora of reasons men all over the world regularly engage in unlawful enterprises.

I used to be in that boat quote frequently and learning to navigate this jungle has manifested itself into the strongest part of my overall game: frame. Knowing I have a solid plan to preserve my most valuable commodities (time, money, faculties, and freedom) if and when things go sideways keeps my mind relaxed and at ease in any situation I find myself in.

In part 2 I stated I’d been in more than a few legal situations and have managed to come of out of most of them virtually unscathed. In this, the final installment of my Villains series, I will share the lessons of my misadventures. Keep in mind that laws and tendencies of local law enforcement varies from state to state so you’ll have to adjust your system accordingly.

Living the outlaw lifestyle ain’t all peaches and cream. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool to strut around with a devil-may-care attitude, slay top shelf poon on the regular, wear aviator sunglasses (a personal favorite of mine), and live in a kick ass pad, but the things we need to do to maintain and preserve this quality of life is often ugly and inconvenient. But this is the price we pay.

We’re not talking about storm troopers and make believe bad guys anymore, gents. We’re now into the realm of actual safeguards so that you can live like a villain in the real world.

Get your legal house in order

Ever notice how the bad guys (real and fictional) always remain cool and collected when detained or arrested? This is because they have a solid legal plan in place which helps them maintain composure in the face of impending legal unrest. They know their predicament is temporary and that they’ll likely be home in time for dinner.

It is very difficult to maintain frame if you don’t have your legal house in order before trouble strikes. I learned this the hard way. These are the two steps I took to remedy this ailment and they’ve both proven to be very useful to myself and my closest friends.

#1 Retain a lawyer

One of the keys to slithering out of a charge is to have a good lawyer at your disposal. The ability to call and consult an attorney any time you need to is critical to maintaining your sanity and freedom. It is often the difference between guilty and not guilty outcomes, as court-appointed attorneys are usually pretty quick to advise you to plead out so they can slog through their overstuffed case loads.

Making a monthly payment to a lawyer to handle potential legal issues can get quite expensive and is only worth it if you find yourself in legal limbo on a regular basis. However, you need this to be a contingency plan, not an ongoing thing.

That said, there is much less expensive alternative to ensure you have legal counsel at all times: pay one lump sum to an attorney and have them put it in escrow until you need his services.

Outside of major felonies, $1,500 to $2,000 should be enough for a lawyer to handle most cases from start to finish. There could be additional ancillary costs but that depends on state laws, your individual circumstances, and attorney rates.

The benefits of having a lawyer on speed dial are obvious but the biggest advantage is when you are arrested. I used to work with a guy who was cop for years and he made no bones about the fact that officers will trade on your ignorance to extract information from you in order to increase their chances of securing a conviction. They take advantage of your fear and initial shock of being put in handcuffs.

Upon your first consultation, your lawyer will work with you to eliminate making missteps at the beginning of the process and school you on your rights upon detention by law enforcement. If you’re armed with that knowledge it makes their job markedly easier and greatly increases the odds of a favorable outcome. The reason cops hate when a suspect lawyers up is because they know your lawyer will advise you to exercise your legal right to remain silent, thus extinguishing their fact-finding expedition.

Do not underestimate the importance of having a lawyer at the ready at all times. Yes, you’ll have to fork over a significant amount of money but financial prudence is a part of your red pill development and trust me when I tell you this is most definitely a worth while investment.

Knowing you have legal counsel at your beck and call is essential to building a rock-solid frame.

#2 Register with a bail bondsman

Lawyers get you out of trouble, bail bondsmen get you out of jail. This is where having one you can call at a moment’s notice comes in handy. If you get pinched, a bondsman is your best friend. Getting registered with one before the shit hits the fan will prove to be an important step in preserving your freedom.

This process is much simpler than retaining a lawyer but is equally important. Simply visit a bail bonds office and submit your information. Name, address, phone number, and whatever other identifiable information they need from you.

Pro Tip #1: Memorize your bondsman’s number and keep it on a piece of paper in your glove box. Why? Because cops will confiscate your phone and you won’t see it until you’re released, rendering your lifeline useless. Asshole cops will sometimes even take your piece of paper (no accident) which makes memorizing that number all the more important.

Having a bondsman who already has your information at the ready drastically shortens the time you’re in the holding cell. The average amount of time I’ve spent in a holding cell is about 45 minutes (give or take) depending on the time of day or night. Not having to wait in line to call a bondsman on that shoddy phone after getting locked up and divulging personal information in the presence of other arrestees makes a huge difference.

There was one instance where my bondsman actually beat us to the jail. He was waiting there with the paperwork and I spent not one minute in that cell. This is the result of having my ducks in a row. When your arrest is imminent, your first call should always be to your bondsman. You can call your lawyer when you get out.

Locking one down will cost you a few hundred dollars but it’s well worth the investment. Once you register with a bonds office they will also put your money into an escrow account (again this depends on your state laws) and won’t be touched unless you’re in jail and need to be bonded out.

This is a tremendous advantage because you won’t need to make embarrassing calls to friends and family begging them to come and get you out. Everything is already paid for and taken care of so you can relax, make conversation with your fellow law breakers, and wait for the corrections officer to sing the sweet sound of your name when it’s time to get the hell out of there.

Pro Tip #2: Every single time you have to use your bondsman, tip him and tip him well. The first reason to do this is that it goes a long way in moving up his priority list which translates to quicker turnaround time and a better overall relationship with the man who gives you back your freedom.

The other reason is that coming to get your sorry ass out of jail isn’t as easy as it looks. They don’t just show up and say “I’m here for SharpShooter” and it’s off you go. It takes a lot of time, paperwork, and risk. These guys are doing a great service for you and a lot of times they have to break away from whatever they’re doing at the time at all hours of the night to get you out.

So show a little gratitude and slip him a c-note as soon as you hit the street. Like tipping the bouncers at the door or the bartender at your watering hole, this goes a long way and builds major equity. People you tip well always remember the gesture and will provide you with much better service in the future.

Now that your legal house is in order, I’ll share the two most effective preventative measures that have served me very well in many situations over the years.

Stash your cash in a safe

Here are the three biggest advantages to having a cache of cash:

1. Cash is king. It is still the one and only currency that holds the most weight. Everyone from your doctor to your lawyer to your butcher prefer (and sometimes require) to be paid in cash. Tangible money talks and having access to it opens doors quicker than a slut opens her legs.

2. Availability without fees or red tape. Banks and ATMs are notorious for nickel-and-diming you for wanting to use and spend your own money. Plus, if you want to spend or withdraw more than the daily limit the bank or ATM allows, you have to jump through hoops to get your hands on it. Banks are necessary for a lot of things but keep in mind they also have complete control of your money whether you know it or not.

3. It’s available to you and only you. No surprise charges, no worrying about identity thieves cleaning out your account(s), and no worrying about account garnishment due to back taxes or child support or any other reason to deplete your account. Safes are immune to wire transfers, phantom withdrawals, or service fees you’re unaware of. Your balance only changes when you decide it does.

For those of you who are leery of leaving your hard-earned money in the hands of lawyers, bondsmen, or banks, a safe is a great way to hang on to your liquid assets. Investments, 401Ks and the like are good ways to grow your money over time and I would strongly advise that you look into these avenues. But socking away cold hard cash for a rainy day is 24-hour banking in its truest form.

I’m not the old lady who keeps all of her money in a shoe box or in the mattress. I do have a bank account but I rarely let the balance get over triple digits because I prefer having immediate, physical access to most of my cabbage if I need it.

Driving without a license

Believe it or not, traffic violations (minor and major) have the potential to turn a man’s life upside down in the blink of an eye and this is the reason I’ve included this preventative measure in this article. Once again, I’ve experienced this first hand and I know I’m not alone. What’s more is that according to my cop friend most arrests are made during traffic stops.

The overwhelming majority of people driving around without a license are men. The inability to talk our way out of tickets, and then being punished more swiftly and severely for our traffic infractions than our female counterparts is the reason for this lopsided ratio. Some states even revoke your driving privilege if you’re behind on your child support payments, further increasing the number of men operating a vehicle illegally.

A little over 10 years ago my license was suspended for six months. Long story short, I had a number of traffic tickets I didn’t get taken care of and they came back to bite me in the ass. Luckily my lawyer was able to “gold sheet” (the process of consolidating numerous tickets into one case) my tickets so I was very lucky to get just a six month ban from driving.

Right around the time my license was suspended, police officers in my city started utilizing technology that allowed them to run license plates while both vehicles were in motion. Cops could literally drive around and run plates at their convenience without having to step foot out of their cars or call the plate number into dispatch. The information popped up on their screens and they’d act accordingly.

The loophole in this technology is that police are unable to get information on out of state plates unless they pull you over. So unless a driver was blatantly breaking traffic laws like running stop signs, stop lights, or doing 20+ mph over the speed limit, cops didn’t bother.

I still had to get around so I came up with an idea that would allow me to continue driving. What I did to stay under the radar was register my car in a neighboring state with an address I obtained by renting a UPS mailbox in that state. I went a step further and put a window cling on my back window of a local college in the state that my license was suspended to appear to be a college student from out of state.

My little trick worked like a charm and the boys in blue never gave my vehicle a second look. Sure I had to pay a little extra insurance for switching states and yes I had to pay a registration fee and taxes all over again, but it damn sure beat getting pulled over and possibly arrested (didn’t have my legal house in order back then) which would have cost more money and more time.

Obviously this isn’t a bulletproof way of never getting caught driving without a license. DUI checks and random road blocks can throw salt into your game. But as long as you don’t drive like a maniac your odds of getting pulled over are very low.

I encourage readers to add to their tried and true methods with reference to their state laws. Different perspectives yield better and broader results, and we could all use all the help we can get in our dealings with the feminized justice system designed to severely punish men for whatever reason they feel like.

I’m also not above suggestions to tweak or perfect my own techniques. Contributor or not, I learn just as much valuable information on this site as any of our readers and the truth is, we can all learn from each other.

Tying it all together

Before I was married I used to make it a point to let women know what a clean-cut, upstanding, law abiding citizen I was. I was quick to mention I had no criminal record, had never been arrested, and had perfect credit with my ever-present American Express card leading the beta bucks parade.

This never got me the quality pussy I wanted and sure as shit didn’t fulfill me as a man. I wanted more but I had no idea how to get it, so I took to acquiring the things I wanted illegally.

I’ve paid my debts to society but I learned a lot along the way. The most important of those lessons is that chicks really do dig the bad boy. These days when girls ask me if I’ve ever been arrested I tell ’em the truth without hesitation and when they ask for the details I give them the same explanation every time: “Long story.” And not one of them stormed out and ran into the arms of their Ivy-League, white-collared betas to live happily ever after.

Get this through your thick skulls fellas: Girls may marry boy scouts but they will always fuck the outlaws before, during, and after their nuptials. You can take that to the bank safe.

And don’t buy into the bullshit notion of the “anti-hero” either. This fantasy is nothing more than glorified white knighting. They give too many fucks about women and at the of the day their balls are as blue as the betas they sneer at. Selflessness gets you nowhere in today’s world. Period.

Remember, high SMV women are merely a side effect of this lifestyle. You’ll have very little time for them what with assembling your crew, strengthening your mind and body, acquiring both tangible and intangible property, locking down your legal swat team, and not giving a shit about anyone but yourself. Your morale and productivity will skyrocket and your sense of well-being will never be higher.

Deciding to live this lifestyle takes a tremendous amount of reflection, acceptance of hard truths, and the assumption of risk. Truly grabbing life by the balls and living on your own terms in this manner is something most of us are unable to do. But for those of us with the intestinal fortitude to take the plunge the rewards are innumerable. 

Be dangerous, take risks, and enjoy the ride gentlemen. Live life like a Villain.

Read More: More Ways You Can Live Life Like A Villain

124 thoughts on “How To Avoid Trouble When Living The Villain Lifestyle”

  1. If you keep most of your money in a safe, don’t let anyone know. The person who knows might tell another one, who might also tell another one and next thing you know, your cash (and gold or whatever) is gone.
    No safe is safe enough, there is always a way in and if there’s enough cash in it, there is enough motivation. Knowing that, I don’t mind the occasional service fee from the bank.

    1. A high end safe (Liberty high ends, for example), well, good luck getting into it without a certified safe cracking locksmith and ample tools that use dangerous gases and arcs of electricity. Put that thing down in your basement and lock it into the concrete pad with internal bolts and nobody is hauling it away, which is the only way that they’d be able to even begin to crack it in a reasonable amount of time. Plus it’s super fire proof.
      Costs a bit of money though, but if you have hard assets to store that exceed the cost of the safe by a large margin, it’s well worth the investment. Screw banks. They’re necessary for some things, but cash is still king and it’s nice being able to get to your stash when you really, really have to, without setting off alarms that the government has in place if you try to extract your assets through a bank.

      1. If you bolted it on an unrippable surface, you’re ahead of most people (many just bolted it on wood). Still, with a gun on my head I’d have to open the vault for burglars, when there’s a will there’s a way.

        1. If you don’t want other people to find something, seal it in PVC pipe and bury it. If you have to keep in it your home, read the book “Secret Rooms Secret Compartments” by Jerry Dzindzeleta.

        2. Hide the safe. And keep your mouth shut. If no one knows about it, a gun to the head to get the combo will not happen.
          ( note: Any safe can be opened quickly with a little foresight … Buy that model of safe, and take the door apart, and make a “drill here” template. )

    2. “Don’t let anyone know”
      It’s not at the top of the list, but one of most common problems these days is that people don’t know when to shut the fuck up. As a young man I was once told “Loose lips sink ships,” and it’s true. Luckily I took that wisdom to heart, but I’ve seen in other people’s lives how unguarded talk can cause a lot of problems.
      Of course, don’t take the tight-lipped thing too far…

      1. but one of most common problems these days is that people don’t know when to shut the fuck up.
        Up vote +1000

    3. As a former probate attorney, please, please, please let one trusted person know the combination or at the very least keep it some place accessible. In my short two years of practice I had to break into a number of dead client’s safes. I would say with your estate documents but those will probably be in your safe. And not in safe deposit box because you can’t get into those without a the will in the safe!

      1. I think SharpShooter intends the safe he mentions to be a “black box” with cash only. Nothing says you can’t have a safe deposit box and another safe with the will, other docs, etc.

        1. I get what he was saying and I am just trying to temper that advice with some good sense like you mention and estate planning so there isn’t a rash of men burying doubloons in the back yard. In my location, just like on here, there are a lot of single men distrustful of the government and banks with lots of cash and gold. I’ve dealt with trying to wrangle those unknown assets too many times.

        2. Put the combination in an envelope, with no other description on the note, and store that in the safe deposit box with your vital records and crap. Your heirs will probably figure out what the significance of that note is.

      1. If I can determine the model and manufacturer, it’s easy. Buy an example of that safe, determine where the bar is that locks the opening lever, and drill that spot.
        Putting that safe in a hidden room ( gotta closet you don’t need? ) might be a better idea.

  2. Ever notice how the bad guys (real and fictional) always remain cool and collected when detained or arrested?
    If the show Cops is anything to go by, I recall from back in my tv viewing days that most bad guys seemed the opposite of cool and collected when detained or arrested.

    1. “If the show Cops is anything to go by, I recall from back in my tv viewing days that most bad guys seemed the opposite of cool and collected when detained or arrested”
      My observation too. I suspect that it is a socio economic thing – the cops crews are going into low end trashy neighborhoods inhabited by uncooth morons.
      The bad guys that remain cool and calm are more upper end guys who get busted for insider trading and such.

  3. Do you guys really need to do all of this to reach….. extra pussy?
    Will ROK stop someday putting pussy on a pedestal?

    1. “Do you guys really need to do all of this to reach….. extra pussy?”
      Imho this piece is not about pussy, but rather it is about how men can shield themselves from the neo-sovietized system now over taking the system

      1. This is what I thought until I reached the conclusion section, which is about extra pussy, not about America becoming the USSA.

        1. women are the acid test for what you are doing…. if you are doing it right, the women appear to come along for the ride….

        2. “. if you are doing it right, the women appear to come along for the ride”
          Fuckin a you got that right. They go along for the ride because it’s fun for them, but they do not give two shits about any man.

  4. On one hand giving advise on how to be on the dodgy side of the law may seem not what ROK is about. But as I think about it, the more of a fucking unconstitutional police state the USSA becomes, the more decent men are labeled as ‘criminals’ by a system hell bent on imprisoning and financially fleecing them for no reason, I suspect more men who, under a normal society would not be in trouble with the Law, will need the advise in this article. So I give this piece a thumbs up.

    1. the most important thing missing here, is the state of mind… whatever you do… from Navy Seals going into battle, Criminals, to stock Traders, Musicians etc… it’s all in the attitude…. you have to be prepared to fail, be prepared to take a hit, not just with contingencies, but with a state of mind…. then when the hit comes it’s already expected and it’s part of the deal….
      The biggest mistake is not a lack of contingencies, lawyers, back up cash etc…. although that helps, it’s the panic state of mind when things go wrong that ruins a person, because they assumed automatic success…
      how will you feel when you lose… think into that, steel your mind against it, prepare for it mentally…. it’s even the same in a relationship…. when the day comes that I am bored or her, she’s moody, grumpy, cheating etc….. how will I feel, how will I react, how will I behave and respond.
      This is why troops spend so much time training under pressure, because all the shooting and strategy skills in the world are useless if the marine panics at the first sound of enemy gunfire.

    2. Laws are written by mortals and by fools. If you can get away with breaking them and not hurt anybody undeserving in the process (including the animals and property of anybody undeserving), then by all means do so. We’ve seen recently how the police have failed us and many of us have dealt firsthand with the courts failing us. Now it’s time for some serious Dark Triad vigilantism to manifest. The moment is long overdue. “CAN YOU DIG IIIIIIIIT?”

  5. so the author is advocating being a faker. I do not understand the premise of this article. Lets pretend we are outlaws by hiring an attorney on retainer and stacking 1 ounce Swiss Pamp Gold bars in our home? When I fought my ex wife for custody of our child. I went to an attorney near my home; paid him $3000 and left. He took care of everything else; retainer was not necessary. Outlaws and Villains break the law, period; so if you do not break the law you are not a villain.

    1. IN totalitarian states like ours, everyone breaks laws. It’s a necessary prerequisite for the state to excercise complete and unrestricted autonomy wrt whom and when to send someone to Gitmo for a date with Cheney.

  6. When it comes to money of any kind, never tell anybody anything. Safes should be well hidden in the floor or in a solid brick/solid wall. Never let anybody know how much money you make or any financial details. “I’m a consultant for a multinational corporation”. Bland, legitimate, conversation stopping to the point nobody asks anymore questions. This goes for legitimate businessmen as well as outlaws. Why do you think the old school Rich Brits used to dress down? So nobody comes leeching and asking for money. In public, you can be pro-tax, pro-“pay your fair share”, pro-anything…right up until the point the check clears and you accumulate more riches. The end game is to have enough money where you don’t answer to anybody. In a world full of HR nightmares, backstabbing coworkers, jealous neighbors, “fair-share” wealth haters, keeping quiet and bland is the best way to go about your business. Legitimate and Outlaws: Avoid Flash…it attracts attention. Dress nice, but not ridiculous, until you make FU money.
    A wise man once told me, “People can forgive many things, except success.”

    1. So right. One thing I still don’t get get is how friends go quiet when you tell them the successes in your life. So I took the cue and stay mum about my achievements. But then they accuse you of not treating them as friends.
      The more you achieve in life, the more alone you become. The last thing I need to work on now is the agreeing with all the popular opinions to keep the peace. I’ve never been one to do that. Speaking your mind makes you a lot of enemies, but everyone respects you. But I will fix that last chink in my armor.

      1. I haven’t achieved much, frankly, but I can add to your line of thought anyway. In addition to not wanting to hear about success, many people don’t want to know how happy you are with your decisions. I’m single and post-40 and I think the anger that married, ball-zapped drones have for me will be getting worse each time I return home from overseas. I’m happier each time with my decision to live this way because I’ve learned to just compliment them on their families and kind of grumble a bit about how much it sucks to live abroad. Keeps people off of you.

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        2. Yes I’m sure everyone is jealous of you and your lack of accomplishments. Keep telling yourself that.

        3. I’m not telling myself anything. I just know misery when I see it and it’s about 90% of the people I meet when I head back home. I’ve learned not to even mention the fact that I LIKE my life. Are you defending a nation that is about 90% unhealthy with a 60% DIVORCE rate and about a 95% unhappily married rate? Simply not being a fat man who has to work for 45 years straight to dish money over to a fat slob makes me happy. I’ll call it an accomplishment. So enjoy your donut, I guess.

        4. Well thank you. I’m actually a bit more accomplished than I’ve led on, now that I got called out like that. I prefer the humble route as it keeps the pressure on myself. What you said is closer to my point though. I am simply healthy and happy unlike 90% of the people who are chasing the typical life with typical accomplishments.

    2. It’s great advice now and it might be REALLY great advice in 15 or 20 years (or 10) when a lot of the imminent problems with our economy come around. Home invasions might be a lot more common. When expected pensions are drastically cut etc. If this all happens and it seems inevitable, you don’t want to be the guy who had always been so open about your anti-bank, gold-centric savings ideas. Somewhere along the way, a friend of a friend will have heard about you in your town. Even your best friends don’t need to know that you’ve stacked paper somewhere.

    3. A wise man once told me, “People can forgive many things, except success.”
      what you do mean? i kinda get it but not all the way.

      1. I think it means you can mistreat people and they will forgive you.
        If you are more successful than someone else, on the other hand, there is nothing you can do to pacify their jealousy of you.

    1. Given the increasing trends in criminalizing even basic masculinity these days, this article may well serve a valuable “how to” some day.

  7. Reminds me of this classic song, which has a lot of the rules that are essential to life:

      1. In a nutshell
        Rule 1: Never let nobody know, how much dough you hold
        2: don’t let them know your next move
        3: don’t trust nobody even your mom
        4: don’t get high on your own supply
        5: don’t sell crack in your neighborhood
        6: don’t give credit
        7: don’t trust family: Money and blood don’t mix like two dicks and no bitch
        8: don’t keep drugs on you
        9: stop snitchin
        10: Don’t sell on consignment

  8. Putting on my “lawyer” hat for a moment, the #1 thing you can do to help yourself if you get arrested is this:
    1. STFU.
    That’s it. Call your lawyer and wait for the cavalry to arrive. While you’re waiting, breathe through your goddamn nose. The biggest way people get into trouble is by trying to “explain” shit.
    Mistral

    1. Indeed. My son and daughter have both had to sit through the ACLU videos on search and seizure, as well as the video of the lawyer professor telling his class “never speak to cops”.
      Cultural cues however, from the telly to the movies to stories in the paper, all encourage spilling your guts fully in order to “explain” yourself. Whether intentional or not, it’s created a culture of people who cannot shut their damned mouths about anything, especially things no sane person would have let others know about just a few decades earlier. A Confession Culture, almost akin to the ChiComs now that I think about it.

    2. You can’t just STFU. You have to specifically state that you will not talk to them any further without your attorney present. At least in theory they have to stop asking you questions. If you just say nothing, they can keep grilling you.

      1. Only once I believe, and even that I’m dubious about, never seemed to be a requirement here in Ohio that I’m aware of (I open carry and have went run-silent-run-deep with no issues). Though it just dawned on me that you may be talking about in the actual interrogation room and not on the street. In courts the “I assert my 5th Amendment rights” after every question (a recent horror to our legal nightmare) was added a year or two ago.
        My go to lines:
        “Am I being detained, or am I free to go”
        “I’m sorry officer, I do not consent to searches without a warrant.”

        1. Yeah, I was. It’s apparent that I am very rusty on my criminal law. I think you are correct that prior to arrest, the cops can get away with just about anything. I’m going to ask my public defender friends about this.

        2. Actually, you don’t have to answer questions at all, generally. There are some states where you have to provide ID if they ask for it (this is the “Hi’ibel” case out of Nevada (IIRC)).
          Either two things are going on:
          1. You are under arrest. In this case, the 5th Am applies.
          2. You are not under arrest. In this case, the “It’s a free country, and I have the freedom NOT to speak” applies.
          Mistral

        3. I wasn’t quite certain of the context he was speaking about, to be honest. I know that on the street they can’t compel you to say jack shit.

        4. You can pretty much, other than producing ID in “stop and identify” states. Otherwise, you are under no obligation to talk. See: Florida v. Royer 460 U.S. 491 (1983), which states, in part, that while the cops can go up to anyone and ask questions, “The person approached, however, need not answer any question put to him; indeed, he may decline to listen to the questions at all and may go on his way. He may not be detained even momentarily without reasonable, objective grounds for doing so; and his refusal to listen or answer does not, without more, furnish those grounds.”
          http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=US&vol=460&invol=491
          Ask if you are being detained or if you are free to go, and if you are free to go, then go. If you are not free to go, say, “With respect, officer, I politely decline to answer any questions.” If he persists, keeps asking if you are free to go.
          Mistral

        5. Oh yes, quite aware of that. I open carry a sidearm rather regularly (so much for blending in with the crowd to avoid detection!) and am well versed in how to not speak to cops.
          The legal eagle OC’ers drive me nuts, the ones that feel they need to cite case law for officers on the street. Once you engage a cop they basically can fish any kind of “probable cause” out of you, given a bit of time. Silence is always the best policy, with “am I being detained or am I free to go” thrown in for seasoning.

        6. The thing you have to watch if you open carry is not coming within 500 feet (or whatever distance in any applicable ordinance) of a school or a church or some other “gun free zone”. That’s how they get you. You know that, of course, but other readers may not.

        7. Other more complex exceptions notwithstanding, it typically depends which right you (affirmatively, as you stated) invoke while “in custody”: the right to silence, or the right to an attorney’s presence during questioning.
          If the former, the officers can “try again later” after a period of time away from the accused. If the latter, the detainee’s request must be “scrupulously honored,” and no further interrogation concerning the crime at issue (but not for a different offense) can continue.
          I tell clients, and encourage all of you, to heed this advice: You only have to tell law enforcement officers three things: 1) My name is _____, 2) I live at _____, and 3) I want a lawyer.

        8. Aren’t you taking/using the fifth amendment either way? If you take the fifth to investors and you are not under arrest, is that a misstatement?

        9. I’m guessing you mean “investigators” not “investors” unless you are running some sort of Ponzi scheme. 😉
          That said, my recollection, from whenever the last time I was studying for a bar exam was, is that the protections of the 5th Amendment attach once one is detained, i.e. taken into custody and no longer being free to leave. Prior to that, you can simply decline to answer questions or talk at all, other than complying with any relevant “Stop and Identify” statute.
          To Joe Citizen, I don’t think it makes any difference, as a practical matter, really. Not talking is not talking. As my father (also a lawyer) liked to day, “There aren’t any deaf and dumb people in prison.”
          Mistral

        10. Right. Fortunately I also have a CHL which nullifies a lot of those things regarding “school zone” concerns in Ohio at least. I can drive up on my motorcycle to my daughter’s high school, Blackhawk clearly on my hip, daughter hops on and I drive off. CHL’s give me that ability where, without one, I’d be eating concrete as a SWAT team arrived.

      2. Actually, you can simply STFU, although speaking only to tell the police that you’re not going to answer any questions is also acceptable. My point was that “explaining shit”, gets you into trouble.

    3. More people get skrewed by talking to cops. We have been programmed to believe that Mr. Policeman is our friend and only here to help us. WRONG!! When a cop says “innocent people don’t need a lawyer”, you succinct reply should be, “I’m pretty sure my lawyer isn’t going to say that”.

    4. You have the right to remain silent…what might be added is that NOTHING you tell the police will help you in any way.

  9. $1500-$2000? Hahahha, what world does the author live on? A DUI will cost you at least $8000. If somebody sues you, it will cost $10,000 just to settle it. Hell, a decent estate plan is $2500.

  10. I fired off my 6th arrest this year, not a statistic to be proud of but it is what it is. After bonding out of jail and realizing my mugshot was already online (less than a day!) I weny home and grabbed my phone. A few messages about the rest but one, from a girl I was gaming made me sit down and laugh. It basically said, I saw your mugshot and I thought it was hot. Do you need any company? I called her and said ya, lets grab a drink. We met up, she k kissed me on the cheek when she saw me and about 5 hours later we were in a hotel bangin away. I avoided jail (ahain) but got tagged with a heavy fine and probation. I check fb the next day and she’s posted how much she loves her boyfriend and how happy they are together with a pic of them at dinner. I never knew she had a bf, she was the pretty girl type, solid 7/8. Such is life though!

    1. Everyone commits three felonies a day in this silly country … hundreds of thousands of pages of regulations.
      If you are going to be made an outlaw by any cop who’s having a bad day, you might as well enjoy the perks of outlawry.

  11. Fellow “Original Ganster” GhostOfJefferson mentioned, in a reply to me, a “why you shouldn’t talk to cops” video. I don’t know if this is the particular vid that he meant, but it is instructive and I feel deserves its own post for greater visibility.
    Knowledge is Power,
    Mistral
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wXkI4t7nuc

    1. That’s the one. He talks fast, but every word he says is absolutely spot on correct.

  12. Lost your driver’s licence for DUI? There are a couple of states that will still give you one(Wisconsin being one of them). Hate your states insane fees? You can register your vehicle in South Dakota without ever setting foot in it (though they generally want you to get a SD licence at some point). SD is where a large number of motorhome owners register their vehicles. I’ve been thinking its probably best to have your vehicle in the name of someone else or a llc(new mexico llcs requirements are pretty darn minimal, I made one once for $75 and 3 pages of info), just so the cops cant even harass you about being out of state (sorry officer just borrowed the car). This also helps because you can make your car not directly identifiable to you, which is a good idea in general. If this all sounds expensive..its not, I end up paying less in total than I would in my home state normally. Anything that puts you in the unusual 1% hassle group, cops, courts will tend to avoid you. I once got out of a 110 mph speeding ticket because I said to the court I had requested the court location be the county seat(as is my right). Rather than transfer the case they dismissed it.

    1. If you are pulled over while driving an LLC owned car, the police will update that car’s vehicle records, and put your name on it as a known operator of that vehicle.
      Nice trick, but it only works well once.


  13. #2 Register with a bail bondsman”
    This is great advice. I didn’t know you could do this.
    I used to write my credit card number on my thigh with permanent marker ( the last 4 numbers inverted) in case I found myself in jail when I know that my asshole friends and I would be out drinking heavily.

    1. I haven’t thought of registering with a bail bondsman before. This sounds like it might be a practical move. You never know when some crackhead or hillbilly is looking for a fight. This usually ends with both parties going to jail. I would want to be out ASAP.

    1. A villain is presumed to have actually caused trouble. As such, your comment is a bit of a non-sequitur.

  14. Good advice. I still can’t believe people who think cops are there to help them when its been proven time and time again that all they exist to do is “serve and protect” the ruling class while collecting revenue for the fucking state. I was riding around with a friend the other day when I noticed some doughnut munching bitch was trailing us. I told him to turn into a neighborhood to get him off our back and he looked at me and said “why? were not breaking any laws, were fine”. I said “We both know cops have ticket quotas they have to fill so why would even give him the chance to pull you over”. Of course he ignored my advice and sure as shit the fucking pig lights us up and tickets my friend for a license plate cover obscuring the plate (thats after being told he couldn’t search the car). For some reason whenever I tell people not to talk to cops because they’re assholes no one believes me. I always get told that not all cops are like that to which I ask if good cops exist why don’t they arrest or at least speak out against the bad ones. As Eric Garner was gasping for his fucking life in an unecessary choke hold all the pigs around did nothing and let some power tripping asshole kill him. Then if that wasn’t enough they arrested the guy who filmed it. Because they don’t want to cross their blue line bullshit code innocent people die every fucking day. If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about how much the police care about protecting you then all I can say is have fun getting shot up in a botched drug raid or ticketed out the ass for bullshit. As far as I’m concerned they all deserve the fate of those two pigs shot up in NYC. Fuck em.

    1. you are spouting an agenda here. Eric Garner should have laid down. I used to ride a crotch rocket. I zip @ 140 mph on highways. When the cops stopped me they just gave me warnings and told me to be careful. Stop INCITING Mr. Al Sharpton Jr. those 2 cops that were killed were neither white nor law breakers.

      1. You went 140mph on the highways and got let off with a verbal warning?
        Where were you driving, Wyoming? South Dakota? Montana? Those are the only places I’ve seen where hitting three digits will cause a cop to look at you and wag his finger and then move on.

        1. Bush Tollway – Plano, Texas. they check my drivers license .. and the cop shrieked “born 1973 !!, aren’t you too old to do this?!” I said “I love having the speed of Ferrari for less than $4000.” He said ” I do not blame you, I love those things too.” really cool cop..they are humans, not Robocops with castrated emotions.

        2. Freakin’ outstanding for you then. I never get such luck. If my car has a slight imbalance in tire pressure that causes me to drive 1.5 mph over the limit, there’s officer Friendly with the ticket already written. I envy you your luck.
          Back in 2012 I was riding with a pack of bikers in Wyoming. We were all traveling around 95 mph, give or take (speed limit on that road was 85mph) The lead bike took off from the group and hit, I believe he said, around 112 mph. He was pulled over and the cop basically said “Hey, dude, be careful, lots of pronghorn out here and they’ll appear out of nowhere” then let him go. I love the traditional “Old West” states like you can’t imagine.

        3. I had to hug the fuel tank. the air drag is so immense that you cannot even see the instrument panel or the road. I installed a HUD in my helmet with shift points, RPM, and speed. 2004 Triumph 675.

        4. Wyoming, West Texas, and Dirt car racing are still the Wild West my friend; the rule of law is determined by the communities.

        5. Yep. That’s why I’m moving out there once my daughter graduates high school (2.5 years). Wyoming, a small ranch or at least a nice plot of hunting land, and living off of my investments.

        6. It’s ok, but too Blue State for my tastes. Plus there’s something about a state where I did not spot one teenager texting or on an iPhone that really, really appeals to me. heh

        7. If whetever you were doing was not sufficiently threatening to someone to necessitate them doing a lot mor than give you a “verbal warning”, why the f do you think they are harassing you in the first place?
          Correct answer: To check whether you look like someone it is fashionable and relatively safe to harass. IOW, completely discretionary “justice.” Whatever the state wants, the state gets. Unconstrained.

        8. Yes, Plano isn’t too bad. Try it in Garland though and they’ll probably shoot at you. I’m in Arlington and APD is getting worse but I got off with a warning from the cop who admitted he too was a rider and to just be careful.

        9. Gotta love Texas, almost as fun as Wyoming. If you drive under 80 mph on those gravel Farm and Market roads, pickup trucks pass you at 90 and the driver will flip you off for impeding traffic.

      2. Did you watch the video? His only charge was selling untaxed cigarettes. They could have tazed him or something other than choking him out. He didn’t even resist. And why is this a race thing? It pisses me off when people who don’t hurt anybody get killed for bullshit, which is why I could give a shit less about michael brown or skittles boy martin and al sharpton can fuck off and die with the rest of the race baiting assholes in this country. On a side note I ride a bike too and I’m glad you live in a place where the cops don’t give a shit just don’t ever stop for them in the city because they’ll fucking arrest you for that shit

    2. Agree with you 110% on pigs not giving a fuck about the public and the Police and Prison State we live in.
      Freedom my fucking ass. I’m here for money, nothing more.

  15. The Villan articles simply suggest practical ways to “play the game.” See, most people don’t understand the rules of the game of life until they’re knee deep in shit and forced to learn them the hard way.
    While I’m surprised to hear that Sharpshooter is married, it doesn’t detract from the value of what he’s said. A simple mistake such as leaving 4k in savings account while having child support in arrearage, was something I did, and they did an asset search and snagged that shit up, DESPITE being a 120% paymebnt plan to pay it down. I was planning on using that $$ for 2 dental implants I need, and still do. Lesson learned.
    It’s not wise to keep $$ in a savings account at all, but if you need to in a bank, use a checking account at at credit union. There’s also ways to set up safer accounts where the credit union makes a sworn statement, backing it with their assets, should seizure of any type occur.
    Upon owning a business, be sure to determine which state has the greatest anonymity of ownership. That can be the difference between loosing it all and maintaining a thriving life. And the home safe storage option is always. I’ve also Common Law copyrighted my name. Turned my name into a trademark/tradename a recaptured ownership of my strawman name after severing myself from surityship of it’s debt. Some with legal backgrounds here have said it’s bullshit, but they weren’t there when I used it on 5 separate occasions to ward of the law. Including a judge himself, the bailiff, and 10 cops who filed in behind me in the courtroom in disbelief of what I had presented them.
    Learn the loopholes gets, and learn them young, because despite seeing daily people living the American Lie of a dream, McMansion, Beamer, cheating wife, average kids, and 400k in debt. I live peacefully with my 25k of debt, soon to be paid off, and less of a slave to the system and the women commanding it to exist.

    1. Solid advice. Especially advising against keeping money in a savings account. It’s a little known secret that the best place to keep you savings is in a credit union.
      P.S. I’ve been divorced for 7 years and will likely never marry again if I remain stateside.

    2. I keep cash in a pickle jar buried in the backyard. Drives the goons wild when they can’t find the money. My dad gave me a few thousand by certified check after he sold his condo and I went to the bank and asked for it in cash. The bank acted like I was trying to rob them. I ended up yelling in the bank, “give me my fucking cash and give it to me now you bastards! Why are you refusing to give me my money!” Basically, I had to create a scene to get my money. I really hate banks.

  16. Huh? No lawyer worth a damn is going to take some chickenshit retainer for some chickenshit yet to be identified criminal case. I can’t imagine needing a lawyer for any criminal matter that would only cost $2,000. Here’s a better idea, don’t break the fucking law like an adolescent little bitch trying to be a drugstore gangster or attract little titty methamphetamine enthusiasts.

    1. This nation has tens of thousands of pages of law a the federal level, and at least the same amount in every state. You are guilty, right now, of breaking one of those laws. I don’t know which one, you don’t know which one, but a half way decent cop or lawyer could easily track down the appropriate statute that you didn’t know you were violating and poof, you get to experience the Criminal Just-Us System first hand.
      200 pages of new law added to the federal register each day. Each fucking day.
      Good luck with that whole “don’t break the fucking law like an adolescent little bitch” thing, dude.

      1. Any law that can be solved with a $2,000 strip mall lawyer and a bailbondsman is a run of the mill small time criminal infraction that anyone over the age of 16 can avoid . This is pissing in the alley, vandalism, speeding, not picking up dogshit kind of stuff. It is not “villain” stuff, whatever that is. None of the laws I’m may be inadvertently breaking can be solved with $2,000 lawyer.

        1. Not true. A retainer is just to get the ball rolling, so your lawyer will look into the charges and start the process of getting you out of jail. They don’t work for free,and trying to arrange payment for them while you are sitting in jail is a recipe for failure. Anyone who owns any kind of business should have a lawyer on retainer. $2500 is a pretty standard retainer rate unless you need really specialized help.

  17. “Selflessness gets you nowhere in today’s world. Period”
    Depends with who and why.
    If it’s with a true brother, it gets you farther than anything.
    Aside from that, great article, thanks.

  18. An article on how to be a poser? The last time I looked when people end up in jail for a serious crime they didn’t commit it turns the person was a low-level criminal who people don’t like anyway or was outright framed by the actual criminal. In other words, if you play with fire you’ll get burnt. The smart criminal knows of the Clean Hands Doctrine and acts ever so normal that no one could possible believe this great guy could do something so heinous. But some woman like outright criminals? Well they’d probably have good poser detectors and if they into criminals they’re not worth it anyway.

  19. I think for most people, having your money in a safe is not practical. I have a bank account at a large bank and keep a bank card on me.
    For my purposes, it is more practical than cash, and cash is readily accessible at any establishment that takes debit cards. Then again, I live in a densely populated city where there is money being exchanged everywhere.

  20. Don’t forget to enclose your stacks of cash within your safe in LEAD, because all larger bills contain a thin metallic strip that acts as a RFID. As such, cops / criminals can access technology (looks kinda like a speed gun) that can detect how much cash is within your home by simply pushing a button. True story. Pro Tip: wrap your money in aluminum foil and stash it in a lead-lined safe that’s hidden and firmly secured to the floor. Or, if no safe, stash your money in lead-lined bags meant for transporting rolls of film through x-rays.

  21. Good stories always have good villains. Who cares about Luke Skywalker, when we could be Darth Vader (before Lucas ruined him with the Prequals)? What’s Lord of the Rings without Sauron? Or House of Cards without Underwood?

  22. That sounds like pretty piss poor advice, especially in a police state like the USA. Unarmed people are getting gunned down left and right for not licking the cops’ boots fast enough. If you’re really doing something wrong the risks are even higher. This isn’t the 1950s anymore. The police carry automatic weapons and drive tanks. Don’t fuck around. There are plenty of other ways to impress skanks.

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