One Way To Defeat Your Social Anxiety

There is an all-to-common condition (affecting 20-25% of people) that is a thorn on the side of any man who wants to conquer his destiny, and achieve greatness in life as an alpha male. Social anxiety.

It is the fear of interaction with other people that brings on self-consciousness, feelings of being negatively judged and evaluated, and, as a result, leads to avoidance from all these perceived negative stimuli.

Social anxiety is essentially another term for “covert avoidance.” An example of covert avoidance is when you happen to be at a large party, and you choose to hang out on the balcony, lost in your own thoughts, rather than mingling with the main cluster of guests. You proceed with this action not out of personal preference, but because being around those people with their watchful eyes and behaviors brought you somatic discomfort.

Basically, if you have social anxiety you probably want to make yourself as inconspicuous as possible in social settings. This advantages nobody in the game of life, but it’s far more destructive for the type of people that Return of Kings is intended to draw.

It’s Far Worse For Heterosexual Men

Of course, every government sponsored anxiety “awareness” campaign would like to pretend that it’s an all-encompassing human problem. One that equally affects people of all races, sexual orientations, and genders (because remember there are a lot more than just two genders these days).

But come on, we know the red pill truths about gender and social dynamics here. Social anxiety is a far more debilitating condition for straight males than it is for gay men, or for females of whatever social justice initiative they choose to identify with.

Young man in pose

Women and gays can get a pass on some of the hypothetical problems of social anxiety, because all they have to do is wait for a more assertive and dominant straight or gay male to approach them and let a new relationship naturally run its course. It sucks, I know. But as “cisgender” heterosexuals, this is the deck of cards we were handed at birth.

By contrast, straight men are saddled with the obligation of having to navigate the incoherent social field of women’s expectations, whether it’s for prospective sexual partners or for a lucrative job interview. Because remember, you have to be an entertaining clown 24/7 in order to land a “7” or above these days, and 24-year-old HR girls hold your entire career and financial prospects in the palm of their hands.

A male interviewer will hire you based upon a more practical set of criteria, such as your qualifications, experience, and work ethic. Women on the other hand, will hire you based upon how they “feel” about you, rather than any of those important skills and productivity assessments.

An anxious or jittery man will be metaphorically presented a one-way ticket back to his mother’s basement by the flick of her pen, because he committed the crime of not getting her hamster wheel spinning properly.

The Best Way For Men To Overcomekanye west flyness

Men, or more specifically straight men, do not have the luxury of various anxieties working in their favor in any shape or form. It will obliterate your dreams, desires, employment opportunities, and success in bedding women. A social anxiety that is holding you back simply must be addressed, identified, and murdered from your whole being.

My best advice? Practice public speaking. What better way to confront your fears than to jump right off the deep end of the swimming pool with a group of people who may be suffering from the same curable condition?

Check and see if there are any Meetup.com groups in your city (New York is linked just for an example) which are geared towards public speaking. The nature of such groups can be geared towards anything from presenting business ideas, to simply reading out a pre-written essay on a specific topic. It doesn’t matter because all manner of public speaking scenarios are designed to build your confidence, and your poise, with getting up in front of a sizable crowd and being the center of attention for at least a few minutes.

Everyone in the group will be there for the same thing, and will be very non-judgmental and supportive of your efforts. Just the fact that you are already there is putting you on the right track. Also bear in mind, there might be some worthy talent there too.

Final Statements

I hope this article can be a wake-up call for any ROK readers who want to do a little soul-searching and identify a social anxiety issue of theirs which is limiting their potential in life. Particularly in regards to improving their employment, financial, or sexual prospects in the long term.

Just remember, the actions you take towards confronting your inner demons in the real world, will speak louder than any amount of uplifting words I can formulate on a keyboard.

Since you have now become (re)acquainted with some of your anxieties, let’s reiterate the opening video’s last statement. “What are you going to do about it?”

Read More: How I Beat Social Anxiety

96 thoughts on “One Way To Defeat Your Social Anxiety”

  1. Question.
    Do you believe that PUA books and websites increase social anxiety?
    Because of all the scientific findings, perspectives from this guru and that guru, from US to London to Australia, to PUA’s who make the most money or have the most fame, it’s overwhelming what is right from wrong in attracting women.
    It makes me all self conscious when I try to adhere to their system.
    “Am I doing this enough? am I doing less of that? Am I doing this at the beginning? Am I doing this at the end?”
    I wonder if guys have experienced this too?

    1. I think the most common rule is forgotten: stop giving a fuck. Treat them like suggestions. Worrying about “every little thing” is rather feminine, but they can cover up that worry with makeup and hose. (if you know what I mean).
      Once I was in a shit mood and worrying about stuff and being a wallflower and my friend gave me that advice and I ended up in a ONS with a 7. I ALMOST (almost – to this day… argh!) got two at once.

    2. It can coz sometimes I feel the same, but the benifets you learn outweigh the negatives. As long as you implement some things even if you forget a lot it’s better than nothing. I tend to stick to what Roosh an Roissy say listening to too much advice from different people can overwhelm you.

    3. DoktorJeep is right – stop giving a fuck. Really learn to not care whether you attract women or not. Don’t make getting a woman a goal at all when you go out etc. The PUA stuff is still chasing women, and they know that.
      When women sense that you’re really not that bothered about them or getting sex from them, they will come to you.

      1. Thank you.
        Because up to 2012 (before ROK) I was employing game from the 90s and early 2000s:
        Approaching, being myself (which is confident, fun and funny) but also straightforward.
        It was until I started getting into the manosphere and game that I started believing this was reality. It made me very incongruent with myself. I was very confused.

        1. For some reason they make it look like dealing with women is really difficult. I have never found this to be the case.

  2. Kudos on the public speaking thing.
    While in the armed forces I took a night course in public speaking for a few college credits and that class changed my life. I highly recommend it.

  3. I wonder why this has not come up before, really. It’s the singlest most important point, everyhing has it’s source here. If you have a confident , easy going and happy vipe, you don’t need much game or anything else to attract women.

  4. Good article. I used to be very shy. Here’s a few extra tips for getting over it. 1) Find some funny one liners that can be used in many situations, as well some interesting lesser known quotes and sayings. Use them at appropriate times in conversation. 2) Talk to strangers regularly every where you go, grocery check out, bus stop, wherever.

  5. Public speaking will definitely put you on the right path….or becoming a corrections officer. Ever since I have been a CO, talking to women has been a breeze. Afterall, if I can boss around a man whom is twice my size and is convicted of murder, I can converse with ANYONE and not have a hint of anxiety.

  6. Start to live a healthier lifestyle aswell, you’ll feel better an look better which will make you more confident. I used to be fat an it affected my confidence talking to women an going out etc. Now I’ve lost quite a bit of weight an put on some muscle I feel less self conscious.

  7. Great suggestion! Everyone I talk to about the one required public speaking class said that it was the hardest and most annoying class they took. Public speaking is incredible.
    Here’s another random suggestion: go to bars that don’t have televisions. My favorite bar in America is The El Bar in Philadelphia. There’s one old ass tv up in the corner of the room completely out of sight. There’s no volume on it and it’s playing something completely random like dragonball z, no sports. Guess what the effect is? People talking to each other.

    1. Shyness is a synonym for fear. Kids are afraid, and theyre told “youre just shy” and that becomes part of their fable. Theyre bad at math. They like this. They like that. It gets built up in the story of you, and its debilitating.

  8. Gotta pump yourself up. Look in the mirror and cut a fucking promo like superstar billy graham. Like Ric Flair, the JET flyyyin limousine ridin just fly SONUVAGUN! WOOOOOOOOoooo!!

    1. Anytime I have to go to some stupid networking event I repeat to myself, “be charming and magnanimous…” on the way there.

  9. Public speaking is a great way to overcome social anxiety. There is a Toastmasters group in just about every area of the country. I don’t care for some of their teachings like “start every speech with a joke” but there are good parts to their method as well.
    If public speaking is not for you sign up for some amateur classes at the local comedy club. It really doesn’t take that much to be semi-funny on stage during an open mic night. If you get a small following you might even be able to make a few hundred bucks with local bookings and will probably also get some nerdy 5’s or 6’s in your groupie following.

    1. Yup, couldn’t find a better word than conditioning. After a while it becomes muscle memory. I find that mental rehearsal helps too… If you have to over-think it, you do it BEFORE the event, not DURING.

    2. It’s all about confidence. The more confident you are… the more you don’t give a fuck… the more it shows. Conditioning builds confidence… but conditioning is just the path. Confidence is the endgame.

  10. I was very shy in my teens and most of my 20’s, fuck knows why. To overcome your social/approach anxiety just get out there and say “Hello” to people.

      1. another good way is to be a volunteer for a politician’s election campaign. and the cartwheel and dancing a jig cant hurt as icebreakers

    1. ^ That is truly the only way to become used to conversing with human beings is to get out there and mingle. If you’re an Introvert then it’s understandable that “mingling” isn’t really your thing, but at the same time, if you’re into women, there is nothing better nor more liberating then walking up to a group of women at a bar and striking up a conversation.
      Just grab your nuts, suck it up, and attempt to infiltrate a circle of hotties to see how far you can get. It doesn’t have to be a successful attempt… hell, you can crash and burn. It’s the effort that truly matters… you will get better with enough practice.
      Also, have fun… if you enjoy trolling then walking up to women might be right up your alley. Walk up and start some shit, have some balls and talk politics. When they realize you could care less about what’s underneath their clothes and more about conversing in general, or challenging someone elses viewpoint (albeit in a polite and adult manner), then they will be hotter than a fresh ****ed duck for you.
      At the end of the day… it’s all about confidence. I’m repeating what most on here already know so pardon moi if you’re already astute at this game.

      1. “Just grab your nuts, suck it up, and attempt to infiltrate a circle of hotties to see how far you can get. It doesn’t have to be a successful attempt…”
        And if you get shot down, who gives a shit.

    2. 100% true BUT too often people are given advice to go to bars/clubs. These are the absolute worst places to go if you have anxiety, because you’ll wind up going there, not talking to anyone (or worse, talking to people and getting absolutely crushed by the animalistic bar culture) and getting even worse.
      The best places to go are places where you can feel comfortable with the crowd. It depends what you’re into really. Just avoid bars/clubs until you’ve reached the level where you’re comfortable with it.
      Nowadays it makes me laugh that I was ever afraid of the club scene. The whole thing is so amazingly shallow and based on appearances that nowadays I can go to a club and work the system and get people’s attention easy. But you need practice to get to that level.

      1. I disagree. They are the best places to get over social anxiety, equivalent to jumping into the deep end. It’s how you approach it. If you go there as a character study and observe just how many people are almost over-confident in their happy states despite not all of them being attractive. Then observe how much they give a fuck that you think they’re unattractive. Then ask yourself how much they truly give a fuck whether you’re attractive. When you get to that point you’re pretty much primed to interact.

        1. > They are the best places to get over social anxiety, equivalent to jumping into the deep end.
          That’s a great analogy. If you don’t know how to swim and you jump in the deep end, you drown. Unless you have a lifeguard (mentor) to come in and keep you afloat.

        2. Yeah, it’s better than sitting by the side of the pool your whole life. I’d prefer to drown than not try at all.

    3. I agree, having a customer service job has helped me tremendously in just talking to random people and carrying a conversation.

    4. Same here. I was probably the most awkward kid to ever walk the earth. After a while the social anxiety became so unbearable that I decided to do something about it. The idea of missing out on life was so damn painful. I learned that most of breaking out of social anxiety is you actually doing something and not waiting around for other people to complete or fix you
      I started out really small. Making eye contact, saying hi, smile. I tried to proactively make contact with the majority of people I met and it felt pretty satisfying most of the time. People usually are not the monsters we make them out to be and they are not so concerned with you as you might think. I read a review on feelgoodreviews.com about a good social anxiety program an decided to try it out as well. It really helped with setting social goals like going to meetup.com events, and understanding what the difference between social anxiety and regular anxiety (which everybody feels from time to time) is. I know it’s sounds hokey but it changed my life.
      Eventually the good feeling of the small successes kinda snowballed and I’m now pretty much comfortable making small talk with just about anyone. Not a big deal for many but considering that I was a social hermit for years (there were times I would not leave the house for weeks and just order food every night) I would go so far as to say it changed my life.
      If somebody has a really bad case of social anxiety…just remember to start out small. Eventually the small successes become addictive and it will probably snowball from there. I agree with using meetup.com. It’s scary as f**k but you’ll feel so much better if you push through it. Chances are that you actually enjoy it and feel good about yourself.
      Hope this helps anyone. Spending most of your evenings alone in your room is a sh*tty way to spend your life, unless off course it’s by choice.

  11. Intelligence breeds confidence and confidence makes you a formidable speaker to be publicly reckoned with.
    I used to fear the mic when i was younger because i didn’t have enough of the first and none of the second.
    Nowadays, i take the podium with dozens in attendance during the course of my grassroots extracurricular political activism.
    Applause is a given, and standing O’s are not uncommon.

    1. Also, once you realize that most people know even less than you, the pressure lessens. I have bullshitted my way through many presentations without problem.

    2. Signing up to assist with a local grassroots political effort you support is also a great way to kill social anxiety. Public speaking, petition circulation, literature drops, rallies, knock and talks, and other activist type stuff will help you quickly overcome any anxiety. Plus a grassroots movement will never turn away a new face. You will be greeted with a smile and can engage to whatever degree you feel is right for you.

      1. Exactly. Meeting with like minded people over topics we all agreed upon took away a lot of the anxiety that comes whenever you speak to a group or organization that you are unfamiliar with or may not necessarily subscribe to the ideals you intend to represent in your oration.
        Attending these groups and listening to the speakers, and evolving your manner of speaking to reach people on an intellectual level helps to overcome anxiety exponentially.
        It worked for me, it can work for anyone.

        1. If you live in a small to mid size town you should also consider seeking some type of public office. Usually they are begging people to fill roles within local governments. It might only be chairman of the tree committee, but any role as a public servant is going to help you overcome social anxiety. Plus you will get a chance to network with people in your community. And, as an additional bonus, sometimes even the most mundane positions come with a small stipend as a matter of law. I served as the clerk for an obscure town committee once and got $50 a meeting. It doesn’t sound like a lot until you multiply it by 24 meetings a year. That was $1200 for doing something that took 2-3 hours a month. Not bad.

        2. That’s true. I’ve flirted with the idea of running for public office. I still am, actually.
          What stops me is the cynic in me. I don’t believe anything i do will make a dent in the hardened fecal exterior of capitol hill.
          Even if i did make a dent, i’d be assassinated before i could make enough of a dent to inspire people to do the same.
          History is full of “little coincidences”

        3. I would encourage you to run at some kind of local level. Outside of big cities where the machine runs everything, you really can make some difference and improve the quality of life for the residents of your community.
          The issue I worked on over the last year was to turn maintenance of our public parks over to a private contractor and to earmark a small % of property tax to pay for it. It was controversial just in that some people thought we were selling the parks off and a few people didn’t like the very small tax increase proposed to offset the increase in cost. But, we got it to passed by a nice margin and now I can report that almost a year later the trash is regularly collected, the presence of a part time security guard has encouraged parents to let their kids use the park more, and there is even regular programming during the summer months. And for those who complained about the small tax increase, we are starting to see an increase in the valuation of houses that are a reasonable walking distance from a park (which is probably 80% of the houses in town). People will easily make up the tax increase when they sell their house.

  12. My job pretty much forced me to destroy any social anxiety I had. Only issue I have is an over-preparation obsession: I hate it when I get questions I don’t instantly have the answer to.

    1. Well it’s a good thing you happened to cross my path today, because after many years of deep meditation it was revealed to me that there is a universal answer that can be given to any question you don’t know the answer to:
      “I don’t know.”
      Really, it works every fucking time. It’s universality is truly amazing. Learn it well and you will never be stuck for an answer again.
      For the coup de grâce you can add:
      “But I know how to find out.”

      1. lol, I know, I know. I’ve been given this advice this many times, and I do use this answer, but I still hate using it. This damn pride of mine I can’t quite get rid of…I’ll keep working on it, tho

  13. “Social anxiety” is a survival instinct, We’re not designed to be chatty cathy’s, saying the wrong thing could put you in a very bad position in ancient times, what we think of as a “pathological thing” is actually just someone who is in-tune with their primal instincts
    There are different types of game…
    Pick the one that suits your true character, as it will be the path of least resistance, and your strength
    You don’t need to talk much to appear like a powerful character, so long as the content of what you are saying is intelligent, than you will be assumed as such

  14. I feel like social anxiety is so prevalent in the US because western culture isn’t really social to begin with. Kids here grow up secluding themselves playing video games, whereas kids in other countries are constantly interacting with grown people. I’ve seen 10 year old kids in Ramallah with better selling skills than most adults.

  15. the author’s quite right. If confidence is so important for men, and young men in particular, why is the focus of self-esteem etc typically on young women, who for the most part are more rather than less attractive to the degree they are shy? Why because women are supposed to be reaching for the stars, and male heterosexuality is the problem, so the more shy, socially anxious men out there, or rather not out there, but retreating to their mothers’ basements the better as far as mainstream society is concerned. These things can be learned or taught to some extent, but ideally fathers should be teaching their sons the basics.

    1. I think it’s because like he said being anxious means you have to wait for other people to follow; …that’s not a good thing for anyone, not just men.
      And personally i think the duty to lead should be equally divided between all demographics so it’s fairer and more natural. But hey, let’s burn me at stake for daring to suggest that the “hamster brains” could potentially be human too..

      1. “the duty to lead should be equally divided between all demographics so it’s fairer and more natural”
        well that was the theory many of us bought into. Except women don’t lead in that sense for the most part – at least not with regard to approaching / asking out. That never happened and to be honest I don’t remember it being about anything other than feminists wanting to change people’s opinions about female agency. Feminists didn’t want people to think of women as passive or acted upon but active and acting upon. So everybody’s opinions had to change to that the world learned to regard women as agents acting in the world, but the behaviour that didn’t really changed. And with it men realised they were being short-changed. It would be fairer if it did happen but it doesn’t by and large, and it doesn’t happen because its not ‘natural’ – there are dynamics involved that feminism wants to hide, or exploit while pretending they don’t exist. Its not about women not being human, its about men and women having quite different strengths and weaknesses and for the most part “never the twain do meet” …except in theory

        1. Fair enough. Honestly, I think there’s still a lot to go with teaching girls it’s okay to be sexual agents… Sites like this saying that all women are too brash bold and selfish don’t really help, plus the idea that we kinda still need chivalry… It’s tragically slow progress.

        2. I think you may have wandered into the wrong place. The point I was making that female ‘sexual agency’ turned out to be nothing of the sort – a mis-sold product that in its ‘expression’ has developed as either unconstrained narcissism or worse the an inauthentic aping of men.

        3. Whereas the point I was making is that I don’t think it’s been properly implemented yet, because people are too set in their ways, and don’t understand the benefits true equality could have bought.
          Hence the kinda narcissism (which btw is all a flimsy front, I know, I’ve been there, it’s insecure and confused and unhappy) and the “inauthentic” aping of men…what makes you feel it’s inauthentic?

        4. equality in the real world just means two things are being compared in order that one party benefits at the expense of the other. Its a manipulation. Narcissism is a new form of power based on refusing reciprocal desire. As for the aping of men, it is inauthentic insofar as it involves women seeking power as they believe men wield it.

        5. what if you take down the equality and just say treat people the same, and see how it goes?
          yeah, i knowww…are you talking about teasing here or something? i know.
          eh okay. i kinda think that’s better though, at least their taking some of the work off, right?

        6. treating people the same is the default, the problem is the claim that one should treat people the same because that claim is employed to get special treatment i.e. its the same.
          “yeah, i knowww…are you talking about teasing here or something? i know.”
          if that’s a reference to narcissism you’re being very coy about feminism’s a-bomb

        7. Pardon? It’s clearly being implemented incorrectly if it’s used for relative advantage, as opposed to equalising advantage… Getting v. Theoretical here… In dating, the problem is a lot of people still valorise traditional gender roles, I.e not being equal.
          Honestly lost… What do you mean but narcissism?

        8. “In dating, the problem is a lot of people still valorise traditional gender roles, I.e not being equal”
          its amazing how feminists have managed to persuade so many that the elimination of gender roles has to do with equality as opposed to the advantage that accrues to the administrators of gender ‘communism’. ‘Equality’ is always applied for the benefit of particular groups, typically elites. Equality hides behind and manipulates universal ideals for particular ends.
          As for narcissism if you don’t know what I mean then I’d prefer not to discuss it. Thank you for the conversation

        9. Okay well not being the same then?
          And coming back down to earth, women are told to be passive in dating, men are told to be aggressors. But this isn’t fair to anyone, is it? But everyone clings to this model, and why is this? if one side wanted to stay elite, why would both sides try and stay the same? i think it’s because people are scared of change.
          okay then 🙂

        10. Was that picture really warranted? Sorry if you disagree, but I think change can be an improvement, even if it’s scary.

        11. change doesn’t have a content. Change is all there is. So anyone hawking it is an idea worth pursuing in and for itself is probably selling something other than what they’re claiming. That picture, by an artist I admire, was my desktop background for the best part of a year because at the time I considered myself to be a transhumanist – you know, exponential change, the singularity and all that. Frankly if you can be shocked by that, then you might want to re-evalute your position on ‘change’ – because it’s going to go further than that, but it will be done incrementally for the most part. I remain a futurist of sorts but I also have a healthy scepticism about those trying to shape the future while claiming it is for everybody’s interests.

        12. I wasn’t shocked, merely confused because I didn’t know the context. I’m glad you like that art.
          I think change can have a context, currently, we socialise heavily based on perceived gender. If we change to socialise according to individuals more, that must be better, surely?

        13. You’re
          partaking of the great lie of our age that men and women can and should be
          interchangeable. The movements pushing that lie have always at their core been collectivist in their approach
          stressing first ‘class conflict’ and latterly ‘gender conflict’. The idea that this is any way about the individual is a lie. There is no point of contact in our opinions

        14. disagree. it’s not fair to judge people first on their bodies and then on what they can do and what they say. you’re right there’s no point of contact, but i don’t see why.
          surely pushing a lie that we’re **super different** to divide and conquor the people would be more efficient than trying to get people to act like individuals would? i mean, you believe in innate sex-difference, and where has it got you? some manipulated sex? is it worth it, being defined by your sex?

        15. “it’s not fair to judge people first on their bodies and then on what they can do and what they say”
          there isn’t a heterosexual man on the planet – notwithstanding his politics – who won’t judge women on their bodies in the first instance – the operative word being “first”. Subsequent judgements may well be influenced by other factors, culture, perception of talent etc. but ultimately men will always judge women in terms of how they present sexually – at least with regard to young women of mating age. You could just accept that as reality, but instead you seem to accept the feminist imperative that the world must be changed to make it ‘fair’. As with Lenin a century ago the question becomes ‘what must be done?’
          Feminism muddies the waters by pretending the issue can be addressed through cultural intervention which at best is a half-truth and at worst a lie, but the hard-nosed revolutionaries understand biology for what it is, and the powerless of culture – as in words / discourse / representations etc – on their own account to change anything but the surface. Such idealogues set no limit to what interventions may be used to ‘make things fair’ (as they of course define it). But there is only one way you can bend reality to meet utopian ideals – and that is through grand utopian social-engineering projects that ultimately always end in torturing and murdering the people you claim to be liberating.
          “surely pushing a lie that we’re **super different** to divide and conquor the people would be more efficient than trying to get people to act like individuals would?”
          Sex differences exist. They can be played up or played down….or as in the case of ‘gender neutral’ revolutionaries can attempt to eliminate them for the sake of ‘tikkun’ and vainglorious attempts to evolve humanity in their preferred image
          Re. being defined by ones sex, perhaps it is more a question of asking what are the consequences to ones humanity of revolting against our biological definition?

        16. Same goes for everyone. but i guess, we should aim higher than that, or we should at least aim for that judgement not to rule the others (this person is attractive, this will rule my interaction with them, or, this means they are a good/bad person.) That value shift is what “must be done”, it’s not exactly hard, merely logical and fair.
          I don’t really know why you’re talking like the only time people interact is in dating, in that it’s fine to judge someone at least partially on how attractive they are, obviously, for everyone.
          Again, the issue is addressed by thinking critically about what values we want, and then identifying whether our media shares those values. It’s okay if it doesn’t, but it’s about being aware about it. Biology remains biology, but you’d be surprised how much isn’t… (see: differences between cultures and sex-roles/attraction.)
          Again, thinking. Not murdering. Can you grasp this concept yet?
          I think sex differences should be played down, to the point where we assume nothing about someone based on their sex. Like, nothing. I don’t think that’s impossible or needs excessive effort…just thinking differently.
          What is the consequences of revolting against biology? Firstly, biology never tried to define us, it simply was and is. What we do with it, is up to us. The consequences of minimising the role of biology in our social interactions is to make us a more human and individualistic/equal society, I think this would make people happier and more peaceful.

        17. who is ‘we’? – the point I have made is that your innocuous and universal ‘fairness’ works to disguise selfish particularist interests. My point about “what must be done” is that it is always totalitarian in its purpose – social engineering today is more subtle than in Lenin’s day but it requires manipulating any and every variable potentially both cultural and if necessary biological in order to achieve utopia. Calling that fairness is Orwellian, so I hope for your sake you are merely well-meaning and deceived
          As for values, values are meant to clash freely, yet ever the totalitarian you are clearly aiming for ‘consensus value’s that everyone can (as in will have to) agree upon. Unless they grow organically within a culture consensus values tend to result from ideological indoctrination. That is what we have with ‘equality’ which particularly in the realm of gender is a front for destroying the old order for the benefit of new economic and gender elites
          “the issue is addressed by thinking critically” – “critical” is the language of the frankfurt school and post-structuralists, typically it seeks to destroy what it criticises
          “I think sex differences should be played down” – the culture is in the process of abolishing sex differences, but it can’t present it that way, so it will use phrases less-threatening to the people
          “The consequences of minimising the role of biology in our social interactions is to make us a more human and individualistic/equal society”
          How can something that seeks to minimise what makes us human make us more human? Revolting against who one is will not make one more individual and it certainly won’t make us happier as people individually or as planned ‘collectively’

        18. I think the point you are missing is that there’s no such thing as a neutral society. It’s always designed for an end. If its not my plan, it’s someone else’s. We are already indoctrinated, hence why girls find it impossible to imagine making the first move. That’s not organic, it’s taught, same as everything is.
          I disagree. I can be critical of an essay I’m writing, it’s called editing? It destroys fallacies, innaccuracies, redundancies… What would leaving them in do? What are the risks? You’re making a lot of slippery slope fallacies here.
          Biology is not what makes us human. Our adaptability and socialisation are what makes us human. If we limit our biologically ordained social roles we introduce more flexibility into the system, I.e more individual.

        19. “we are all already indoctrinated” – you’re falling prey to false consciousness ideology, which itself serves to create false consciousness as it justifies abandoning the ideal of objectivity
          Critique doesn’t destroy fallacies it simply destroys. That is its purpose.
          Biology is very much what makes each of us human and your utopia will require plenty of sacrifices of the same
          I’m going to leave the conversation here thanks

        20. I don’t think it requires abandoning objectivity, I think that’s a
          No, the purpose is to destroy aspects/flaws, see, the process of editing. If it destroys other stuff, it’s not good criticism.
          Er, no it won’t. I just don’t want to be spoken to like i’m just a pair of boobs, and i’m sure you don’t want to be spoken to like having a penis defines what you have to do in every social interaction.
          Okays 🙂

        21. but hey, let’s be passive-aggressive about it to prove that women have the leadership qualities of military generals.

  16. I don’t think I’m terribly shy, but I do feel anxious about not having enough to talk about or not being in tune with everyone else. Everyone else seem so shallow and I don’t watch films or follow television shows like they do. I’m also on the introverted and serious side, so it’s hard to play the clown.
    Any suggestions?

    1. Yes. Dont squeeze your brain trying to figure out something to talk about. Let it flow. Meaning, do not try to think about what you will say next, what they will say next, then what you will say next. In other words, do not try to create a script, because there’s no way you can anticipate it anyway. Learn to relax your brain and let associations flow, do not try to control every single part of a conversation. A conversation has a life on it’s own, let it live it, good or bad. Whats the point in a conversation anyway, if it’s all scripted, and both know what the other will say..anyway, I realized this, and it works out great for me. And another thing, do not be afraid of awkward silences. It’s better to keep the silence that to say something foolish because you couldn’t come up with anything.

  17. What to do if you have a speech impediment which is so debilitating that public speaking, or any kind of prolonged speaking for that matter, is out of the question? That’s a very difficult hand to play, as you might understand, but unfortunately it’s my rotten luck to have my voice completely messed up by Cerebral Palsy.

    1. Do it anyway. People that dont let their restrictions limit them are the strongest ones, yes it will be more challenging but remember the things that are the most challenging and feel heavy to do are the things that will be most rewarding. There is no shortcuts and the soon you realize sheer will is the only thing that matters in the end and not your limitations the better.

      1. Thanks for your reply! You’re right that I shouldn’t let my physical problems put any undue constraints on my actions. But I often feel I’m lacking in courage and strength. Well, I guess there’s nothing to lose in reinventing myself one small step at a time.

        1. Very understandable that it is a difficult thing to deal with.
          If you feel lacking in strength and courage then make those qualities your virtues in life. Look at your burdens as very heavy weights that you can lift and make you stronger instead of them crushing down on you, btw i say that without diminishing the difficulties you go through in your life in any way.
          Best wishes to you.

    2. To put people at ease, tell them (via a notepad or ipad or some other digital medium on your person) that your voice box is damaged and that you can’t really vocalize. More or less a mute. Me thinks you will get lots of sympathy, understanding and may create intrigue with the weaker gender. You wouldn’t be lying, just framing it differently. Too many chicks will think that cerebral palsy = retarded, because they don’t know shit.
      I once suffered a hockey injury by taking a puck in the mouth, but we all went out after the game anyways — my mouth was swollen and I had a chipped tooth, making it difficult to talk, so I didn’t. Just lots of winking and hand gesturing to the women and before long I was garnering the most attention. In fact, they started calling me “Cave Man” because I was grunting mostly, and as I played that up, they loved it! I even wrote on some paper, “Please, no making out, my lips = too swollen” and a few chicks went wild… true story.

      1. Thanks! That “Cave Man” story put a smile on my face. You’re absolutely right about people thinking I’m not entirely compos mentis. In fact, that’s what annoys me most about my disability. The purely physical problems are a relatively minor inconvenience, by comparison. I hope your hockey injury hasn’t caused any permanent damage.

        1. No, I’ve experienced many minor injuries from hockey — they just added character.
          Being honest with chicks and thinking they’ll appreciate it or respond like we would is a fatal mistake most men make. In your case, you need to frame yourself better to appeal to the female mind, which must always include some mystery and high status. Keep your verbal conversation to a minimum, but communicate in some fashion that your issues were caused by something “exotic” or “dangerous”, such as via hand-to-hand combat with an Islamic assailant, or from a ski accident in France, or from white water rafting the Grand canyon. When in doubt, ask yourself what James Bond would do / say — it also helps to dress like him! Best of luck with your slightly tweaked persona.

  18. Don’t use “cisgender” even in quotes. It’s not a real word and we shall not fucking dignify it as such.

  19. I work in real estate now and it’s helped me a lot with my social anxiety more so than actually retailing at a comic shop did (I guess though that makes sense.)

  20. I honestly dont like talking to most people, or making small talk with strangers.
    I don’t hate people, I just find it strange people need to run their mouths 24/7.
    Obviously this is a big handicap when gaming. You have to run your mouth to get girls, they instantly start asking ‘why are you so quiet’? Theyre like dogs wanting a playful toy to entertain them.
    Any guy who’s naturally extraverted has an advantage with girls, because, quite frankly any guy who runs his mouth with confidence gets laid. Women can’t shut up they need constant chatter

  21. Why do you use the term ‘cis gendered’ in your article? It’s only every freaks and social justice warriors that use such ridiculous terms. I’m hoping it was just irony or sarcasm. There’s two genders, straight men and straight women anyone that identifies as anything else is malformed, mentally and/or biologically.
    Acknowlinging their ridiculous terms even in irony just gives more credence/exposure to the garbage cultural Marxists create.

  22. I suffered from social anxiety for a long time. I tried for help and was laughed at for being defective. I recall asking a men’s group at a church to help and telling them my problems. They laughed at me and said depression wasn’t real. That’s why I am not a church goer anymore. I got tired of always being blamed as a man and watching them help minorities and single mom’s while doing jack shit for me while taking my tithe money.

  23. I’ve said it before SOCIAL CURRENCY IS PRICELESS. What is the chief currency of the wage slave? Right, it’s their direct deposit or their paycheck that they rarely see or enjoy. The work week may fly by with a few ‘spoken’ grunts, ‘mmm-hmm’s’, ‘ok boss’s’. And months or years go by with non fraternizing rules and the crippling inhibition to let loose the crack game to bang the hot co worker in the assembly line next to you over the break room table for a mid afternoon quickie.
    Still the programming of usually a ‘shut up’ word stupid (challenged) mother or a ‘shut up’ family culture holds its grip. It is a culture that strives to please the never satisfied greater community bitch culture. SPEAK UP as a man but not a mangina. Your ‘social currency’ is king. The dollar can crash but your sociosphere lives on and YOU are its Allan Greenspan, its ‘jew bankster’ if you will, churning out social currency and monopolizing the sphere where you rule.
    Sing the song of the mangina and you get scraps’ is the mantra unknowingly pushed by the beta peaceniks. IT IS WAR with the bitch force. Real men are identified and nipped at the but while their fathers are shackled. BREAK OUT.
    BREAK OUT of the bitch matrix young men. Kick your hyper slug mom into her place if you have to but make that declaration of independence from the bitch system and its zombies THE SOONER THE BETTER.

  24. The advice in this article may be helpful for those whose social anxiety is mild or moderate, but for those who have a much more severe problem, it helps to start small.What has helped me is just saying hello to people like Simon Towers suggested. I make a quota of at least ten people a day.

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