A couple of people have reached out to me on Twitter this week asking how to get over one-itis. This is an evergreen topic that deserves serious attention so I decided that I should share my own personal method with you. Be warned though, this is a dark triad approach and not one for the faint-hearted, but if you follow the steps I outline you will undoubtedly free yourself from one-itis more quickly than you would be using any other strategy.
What Is One-itis?
First off, I should define one-itis for anyone who hasn’t come across the term. In essence, one-itis refers to a (blue pill) belief in ‘the one’—that one ‘special girl’ who is perfect above all others.
One-itis can strike in a variety of ways but typically a man will experience it for a woman with whom he is in a relationship (‘she’s the one—I can’t live without her’,) or worse, for a woman that he admires who does not reciprocate his feelings (‘she is so amazing—if only I could be with her then my life would be perfect and I would be complete as a human being’).
Both of these states are extremely damaging. The first because, in putting his girl on a pedestal, the man is ironically more likely to drive her away. The second is perhaps worse—by pedestalising a woman with whom he is not yet intimate (nor likely to be) the man simultaneously makes himself less attractive to his target while wasting his life in pursuit of something that will never materialise.
One-itis is the high watermark of ‘blue pill’ thinking and behaviour and is based in the purity fantasy. Men who believe that there are ‘good girls’ (virgins) and ‘bad girls’ (whores) are prone to it: underlying any one-itis is the notion that this particular girl is different from ‘all the rest’—that her innocence and good qualities make her literally irreplaceable and therefore essential to the guy’s happiness.
Of course, we know this to be illogical—good girls and bad girls are the same girls. The Madonna / Whore complex is a fantasy—that special snowflake who you believe is perfect likely fucked the local dealer at the pool party last summer. Girls are human beings and none of us are perfect. More importantly, with 7.4 billion people on the planet there is no ‘one’ either. The truth is that there are a great many women out there with whom you could form a successful relationship with (or have great sex with)—it’s merely a question of finding them.
The First Step
As with any addictive behaviour pattern, the first step should be admitting that you have a problem. In the case of one-itis, you need to get to a point where you admit to yourself that you actually have it.
By far the best way to accomplish this, in my experience, is to force the girl to stop sitting on the fence and tell you exactly where you stand. This is often easier said than done as she probably has a vested interest in you remaining in thrall to her—she likely gets validation from it, or security if you’re together. But trust me, if you sense that something is amiss and that she isn’t feeling you in the way that you’d like then very probably you are right.
if you are obsessed with a girl you haven’t slept with yet—maybe you’re friends, colleagues, classmates, or you’ve been dating but haven’t got to that stage yet, then what you need to do is sit her down, ask her very pointedly what is going on without allowing her to prevaricate or obfuscate. Say something like ‘I’m a man, you’re a woman—it’s only natural that I’m attracted to you. How do you feel about that?’
(By the way, I’m not recommending this form of directness as a ‘pick-up’ technique—quite the contrary. The whole point about game is that a flirtatious vibe should be introduced from the start so no ambiguity can exist. Whether it leads to sex or rejection, one of the benefits of game is that eradicates long, drawn-out grey area situations where one-itis can flourish. By burning through prospects quickly at least you know where you are.)
If it’s a girl you are dating, in a relationship with, or even married to, but you sense that something is amiss, then you must also find a way to force the issue so that she has no choice but to come clean. If, for example, you’re afraid she might be cheating, then you need to confront her about it in a no-bullshit way that encourages her to be honest.
Once you’re armed with the truth (however painful) then you are in a position to move onto the next phase. And that phase, as much as it may pain the more sensitive among you, is positive anger.
The Righteous Power of Positive Anger
Now, before I get a hail of abuse in the comments, I’m not recommending that you become a basement-dwelling misanthropist, bitter about the world, about women, or about any meta group or structure. No, what I am proposing is that you should get angry about the very profound insult that the individual woman in question has directed towards you.
Because when you think about it, what deeper or more personal insult is possible than a complete repudiation of you as a sexual being?
Look, she’s played you for a fool, OK? Face it. Either she strung you along in the friendzone, not bothering to disabuse you of the hope that one day ‘something might happen’ between the two of you. Or you were actually in a relationship with her, but now she has changed her mind about you and is no longer attracted, maybe fucking someone else into the bargain.
Now of course, no-one is saying that a woman doesn’t have the right to change her mind—she does. But you also have the right to choose whether or not to take the slight like a pussy or to use it as an impetus for getting out of a rut.
Now—and this is so important that I must emphasize it very strongly—I am not for one moment recommending that you take any direct action towards your one-itis as a result of this positive anger. To do so would at best look butthurt and at worst be criminal (depending on what you did). Instead, what I am suggesting is that as quickly as possible you skip through the denial stage of the grieving process and get to positive anger, for it is in anger that you will be most empowered and motivated to move on.
Positive anger is all about feeling the energy and motivation that your rage will naturally generate, without allowing it to take you to a negative place of despair and vengeance.
Cut All Contact
Once you are angry, the next stage is to entirely remove yourself from the girl’s life. You need to ghost. Immediately. As in, right now. That means no phone calls, no emails, Facebook messages, Snapchat convos, Instagram likes or any other form of contact.
Think about it like this—if it were possible for another man to inflict an equivalent slight on you, do you think for one minute you would have anything to do with him afterwards?
Of course you wouldn’t.
Now, cutting off contact can sometimes be hard, but it will be less so in this instance because you’re angry, remember? Use that anger as a motivator and, one day at a time, resolve to yourself that you will not, under any circumstances, give your one-itis the satisfaction of having you contact her. Because the smallest indication that you’re thinking of her, even a ‘like’ on social media, will reveal you as the thirsty beta chump that you are.
Far better to disappear. Far better to have her wonder about you rather than you about her. Not that you will see the fruits of your withdrawal, because you won’t have any contact with her. But you can be confident that she will be thinking about you, and perhaps wondering if she was a little too hasty in writing off your alpha potential.
Once contact is cut then you must immediately set about putting positive steps in place to improve your life. These will differ depending on the individual but I would recommend going to the gym or running daily, approaching new girls daily, working on a business or side project daily, and speaking with make friends daily. All of these things will make you feel better and improve your medium to long-term prospects.
So there you have it—smash your denial, get angry, cut all contact and take action. I’m not saying it will be easy—it won’t—but with a bit of positive anger as your spur you will find that you will get over your one-itis cravings a lot quicker than you’d expect.
Want to find out how to attract a steady stream of beautiful girls? Check out Troy’s book The 7 Laws of Seduction and follow him on Twitter.
Read More: Why Abundance And Ruthlessness Are Needed to Get Hot Girls in 2017
303 thoughts on “How To Get Over The “Special” Girl Who Doesn’t Want To Be With You”
Ghosting……the ONLY way to communicate with women in the 21st century.
That might even give her second thoughts. Amazing how fucked up all this is.
almost every single woman I have ghosted has, despite any extenuating circumstance, even when I ghosted because I couldn’t deal with her melt downs because I was being a total fucking shit to her, every.single.one of them has tried to get back into my life at least once within the first week of ghosting and at least one more time in the next 6 months.
I’ll add that it’s not necessarily 100%. I’ve ghosted quite a few, and some just kind of disappeared from my life while others wanted to get back together.
Still, who cares? Life goes on.
They physically get attention withdrawals. I don’t have any other explanation for this behavior.
I’ve got that several times as well. Interestingly, they were the ones that rejected me. I went, “yeah, fine”. Then they tried contact after not long, but they all failed. Once I move on, I’m done.
I actually have this down to a science. It is like push and pull with negs and compliments but I am able to make them feel like the center of the universe and then like they are alone in some cosmic desert. I’ve been at this a lot time
have to try that
How do they try to get back with you if you ghost them? I guess my ghosting is mutual cause I never hear from the biddies again. Block and delete. And they rarely know where I live or work.
I rarely block, just ignore. Also, im not changing my email address every time I ghost a girl. I date a lot, it would be impractical
I don’t think I’ve ever given my email out to a biddie. I have about 10x the number of blocked numbers in my phone compared to actual numbers.
why block? Just put them in your FB rotation…
You are the smart one here and I am starting to work in that direction myself. Other problems include New York being a small city and because of my job I’m not too hard to find on line, but yes, I am going to start blocking….
It’s a tricky thing and you really have to have very little conscience for it. I have incredible amounts of natural energy. Despite spending 3 hours or more a day in the gym and working a very stressful 24/7 kind of job I am rarely slowed down. When I focus my energy on a girl, even for a night, it usually becomes a drug to them. They will chase the attention high I give them in the first week like a junky
I don’t have FB so keeping in contact there isn’t possible.
If a girl is getting blocked it’s because they are doing something disrespectful. Which is of course 99% of western women.
FB Facebook. It’s Fuck Buddy.
Nah, I don’t do that either. Gives them too much validation for their behavior.
A fuck buddy is a woman you only meet with to fuck. If you think that’s providing her validation, then you’re pretty damn neurotic…
Yeah, I’ve got a really low threshold of tolerance for Americunts. One and done is usually how it goes down.
Thats because women are designed to exist in a social structure, cut off her ability to gain feedback from a social encounter & she goes nuts.
What happened to the romanian chick bro ?
Plural. Still going on. I’m am guessing they will murder me soon.
Lolknee inviting trouble to his life Lol. This is so much not like you. That Balcanic pussy must be good.
It is. And the trouble is fun. I’ve been bored. I think really had been a little too easy lately. Needed something interesting.
all men are social animals. That isn’t the cause of this particular phenomenon. This one is caused by several emotions, not the least of which being women’s hypergamous nature leads them to believe that if you can just walk away from them then you are actually better than they thought and want more. Their vanity also plays a part. If you leave them and it is nothing to you it drives them insane. They are also very possessive of men, the higher the value the more the possessiveness, and if you ghost them they will automatically assume you are with someone else and then they feel they have somehow lost. There is ore, but it really has very little to do with their social structure existence. Women gain positive feedback today during their morning dump thanks to social media.
Yeah that’s actually annoying. I have one that will add me on various social media and then delete me to see if I notice. So I block her every time she does it. These girls are psychotic!
3 hours a day in the gym? Fuck are you doing there man?
if it only happens now and then I let it feed my enormous ego. If it gets annoying I will take measures to shut it down. Yeah, they are psychotic…but they are cute.
Romanian chicks… dangerous. I have one that I put on ignore.
I do a 2 hour lifting routine in the morning and an hour of interval based cardio at night M-F. On the weekend I also have a 2 hours lifting routine and the cardio but sometimes I replace the cardio with some kind of class like yoga or tabata or whatever seems to have plenty of women in there.
I am really developing a fondness. This is especially odd for a couple of reasons making it all sorts of clownshoes fucking insane.
That’s a lot man… don’t over-train… You won’t ever fully recover. I speak from sad experience.
I’ve been at it a long time and I know my boundaries. Obviously this is a program I cycle on and off because of the intensity, it isn’t sustainable year round, but I really do feel terrific.
Good comment lolknee, but i’m stating a scientific fact, women are specifically designed to exist in social structures, women gain feedback about their environment & their social status, through their ability to communicate
In short women are highly designed & optimised to communicate, men are not, men compensate by optimising for logic & spatial calculus
Men gain feedback & social status by acting directly on their environment, women indirectly act on their environment by vocalising the effects of their environment, hence their optimisation for emotions & feelings
I have no disagreement with this, it is obviously true. But women have, today in 2017, access to a glut of positive feedback that your attention to them is basically a spit in the ocean when measured by the numbers. It is their psychological attachment to you which makes them value your one word over 5000 likes on Instagram. a girl who is an 8 or better, if she puts on some decent clothing, can walk into any bar or club or restaurant or gym or fucking shoe store or beach or post office and be told how beautiful she is by a barrel of men and then post how annoying it is with a cute picture of her outfit on Instagram and have a few hundred guys tell her how hot she is — this not even mentioning the dozen or so guys she will have in a stable texting her and the 3 or 4 dudes she can call if she just wants to be piped out by someone who doesn’t care about her pretty much 24/7. Your validation doesn’t mean dick……not unless she makes it so. The reasons she makes your validation carry more weight than, say, 5000000000000 guys who will give her with almost zero effort is tied up in her vanity, her ego, her various bits of psychology which you, if you have been doing this correctly, have tied yourself into.
I have a girl who is pretty much my 4 am “sup” girl. She is a solid 7 who, when dressed well, can pass as an 8. This girl gets hit on a lot. She gets validated a lot. She has more guys trying to penetrate her than Mexicans planning on getting through the Trump wall. But I text her at 4 am and say “sup” and she is already washing her twat while she texts back some feeble coy response before agreeing to uber over and be fucked. This isn’t because she wants validation it is because she wants MY validation and the reason she wants my validation is because I have been doing this long enough and am good enough at it that when I decide to give it to her, the one hour of my attention that she will get means more to me than all the rest of the supplicating beta cunts combined.
OK I was going to say… Good that you cycle. It was after doing mine for a long time that my problems started.
Now I have much shorter less intense program but I’m actually making better gains than when I was killing myself twice a day.
Also theres no such thing as hypergamy, its a fancy term popularised by tradcon idiots like Rollo Tomassi to cover up the massive privilege & social mobility advantages women have over men
Women are advantageous & predatory
Women are simply taking advantage of the pedestalisation of pussified christians & tradcons & their inability to control them, hence their selection of the choicest men they can get their hands on
Also women select for social status, because of the large amount of white matter, making them highly sensitive to & turned on by social hierarchy, giving the impression of hypergamy, but are in fact turned on by the ability to demonstrate social cue’s, hence their need for bums & rock guitarists, as well as billionaire nerds
Women respond to social status & social cue’s only, they dont have the ability to understand or respond to hypergamy
I will concede your point about hypergamy and say that I use it in pretty much the way you describe just for ease of dialogue and jargon.
About women taking advantage of the pedestal of their twats are put on by weak men, yes…of course, but there is so much more.
As for you assentation that women only respond to social status and cue’s you are absolutely incorrect. It is a piece of a much larger puzzle my friend. You simplification of the females emotional IQ is, not to put too fine a point on it, incorrect, misleading and, while maybe something that will help a beta begin his path of understanding women, ultimately, if trusted in, lead one to absolute despair.
I cycle hard like this 3 months on and then take a month where my workouts are pretty light, much, much shorter and not 7 days a week. Everyone has different things their body responds to, of course, and my gains are such that I have no desire or need to look for alternate programs at the time. I also genuinely enjoy being in the gym and have a fairly hard to fatigue CNS.
Well what I was doing was very different to you. Lifting heavy and two hour muay thai sessions twice a week. Seems crazy now when I look back at it. I think that you can lift heavy or do muay thai but not both. This was advised to me by a MT champ but unfortunately after I had wrecked my body.
Men communicate much better than women.
Do people actually still use email for social interaction? For me, its strictly for business now.
Women were not designed they evolved. All humans, male and female, evolved into a social structure.
Hell no. I can’t even get my friends to answer text messages when we’ve already agreed to hang out. Women are way better at communication.
I am making that move now and should have made it earlier. It was just such a habit for so long. I am really slow when it comes to tech and tend to just use what I know rather than change with the times, but I am seeing how email is not for social interaction anymore …. better late than never huh?
we all wreck the body sooner or later. My current program is being overseen by an IFBB pro trainer who has me focusing more on aesthetics because of the injuries that power lifting left me. I will never put up the absurd raw numbers I used to, but I am enjoying myself, getting my rush and, frankly, look pretty fucking great. One of my favorite things to tell people who don’t work out when they point out my excess is that their sedentary lifestyle, on a slightly longer timeline, will be far more deadly than the fact that I like to go to the gym every day.
Yes because all of the great orators in history were women…
Women are better at pointless communication. If your friends don’t respond to you about prior arrangements… perhaps they are not really your friends?
I don’t know, the two I am seeing now are pretty fucking good orators. One of them orated me in such a way last night that I was pull the sheets out of my ass afterwards
they get boring!
Ah you are a post-wreck survivor… like me. I’m not sure that all of us are destined to make these mistakes but it is true that the average guy my age has far worse problems when he doesn’t lift anything heavier than a sandwich.
I am going to have surgery to physically remove that visual from my brain.
Well then… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a6702b0dcda470643733a18cfe56f603fc04bedbcd530d13974b6ef6f0d36047.jpg
As usual, the very best in **any** field are men.
But we’re not talking Cicero. This is about ordinary people’s communication, and the gender differences are enormous.
When a woman talks, she shares emotions and thoughts, while a man generally shares ideas, suggestions and facts. Women constantly use non-verbal communication; men use almost none. Men typically only talk at work, and only when necessary; women talk all goddamn day and night, lol, no matter where they are. Women organize social events; men just show up, as they’re told.
Why do you think the women’s march was so enormous? 5 million women spontaneously organized themselves, the biggest protest in human history. When was the last time 5 million **men** spontaneously communicated and organized a worldwide march? Where was the White Men’s March protesting Obama’s inauguration in 2009? Nowhere.
I’m not taking sides on any of this. Just observations.
tl;dr Women excel at communication. Some men do as well, but we mostly save it for work.
like you aren’t going to steal it
Social structures which women are designed to excel in, are completely different to meritocratic social hierarchies which men are designed to excel in
Hence the term social structure, which are dominated by emotions & herd like consensus for women
Evolution is jewish horseshit, note jews dont apply evolution to themselves, but protest when whites dont apply
Theres no such thing as evolution, men adapt, not evolve
This is demonstrated by rapid reproducing species, such as fruitflies & microbacteria, none of them display any characteristics of evolution even after hundreds of generations in the lab
In fact evolution has never been proven in a lab, using hundreds of generations of everything from fungi to microbacteria to fruit fly
Adaptibility in a lab yes, evolution in a lab no
Women are scientifically proven to communicate better then men, becuase of white matter vs gray matter
Know your science …
Not at all, once you understand women have no emotions or logic, & only respond to social cue’s it makes it alot easier to manipulate & talk to women
Ie., if she refuses to listen, raise your tone & increase your aggression to imitate an alpha mail with a higher status
Aggression is usually the deciding factor if she listens to you or not
There are a couple of other biological cue’s, but women dont use those to understand a male as superior to her, merely to bond
Women are on the whole highly biologically limited, as their role is to only reproduce, hence the need to simplify the cue’s they respond to
Again this is a flawed understanding of how women communicate
Mobile phone’s merely effect preselection, & contextual social status, this is terrible for beta’s who rely on their cash & social status
A man with the relevant social cue’s can easily bang any mobile phone addicted idiot, as demonstrated by every natural who has ever walked the earth …
Biology is completely immune to feminism & populist indoctrination, a womans vagina lives on …
Jesus, you’re like my parents.
Let me help: Use Whatsapp for Latina girls. Every girl in South and Central America lives on it.
ok dude, well you seem to have it all figured out. Good luck with that.
ugh. Dunning and Kreuger Game Manual. Sorry, I can’t today.
I am moving to WhatsApp for pretty much everything.
I’ve been at this a long time, hence the PUA in my title … by all means use what you know to be true
Im not here to argue, just point out the facts i’ve researched over the years …
lol … when it comes to women, stop thinking they respond the same as men, this is a common mistake & a major reason why men dont succeed with men
The simpler your conversation & a zero tolerance attitude with women, the quicker you get laid
Conversation is for bonding with men, escalation is for bonding with women …
Talking only when necessary sounds like an advantage not a disadvantage. LOL! women organised a million woman march? And for what benefit? White men organised Trump into office. Which is better?
OK not everyone is Cicero but trust me I communicate just fine with the average man. I don’t need to know about your “feelwings”. Don’t confuse mindless and continuous blathering about emotions, feelings and that bitch in marketing as “better”.
I know my science but your science is bullshit. Science comes with sources, just a tip since you decided to invoke the Great S Word.
OK we can stop the discussion here. Evolution has been proved so many times inside and outside of a lab it is a fact. But the fact that you think that it doesn’t exist renders everything you say meaningless. You don’t know your science.
And thus you have fallen for the feminist propaganda that elevates “feelwings” over rational thought, turning the world upside down wherein somehow women become better communicators than men when any casual glance at history immediately shows you the opposite.
Evolution is genetic adaptation.
This is why men have always controlled women, & women submitted to men
A man who can leverage a womans ability to organise a million woman march, in order to better society can literally conquer the globe, hence hitler …
The best way to leverage womens ability to communicate, is to get hordes of men to follow him, the women being herd like morons, will in turn submit to the men in the millions
Which is precisely what is happeing with the red pill & nationalists
Its pointless catering to women, as theyre a mass of pointless herd, who dont understand logic or reason, if you want to change society
Any form of adaption isnt evolution …
They are slaves to their hypergamy and it tells them that a man who rejects them is higher value. It must really suck to only be attracted to men that reject them. I honestly don’t think women can tell the difference between a guy being aloof and a guy that genuinely has zero interest in her. I don’t think it matters to them either.
Genetic adaptation is evolution because the DNA is actually being changed to adapt to our surroundings.
Its impossible to prove evolution exists in a lab, as nothing mutate’s into an entirely different creature, with a completely different biology, millions of different times …
Adapt yes, but rapid adaptation, not the slow mutates into hundreds of different species with completely different biology … ludicrous
Its impossible to prove evolution exists in a lab, as nothing mutate’s into an entirely different creature, with a completely different biology, millions of different times …
Adapt yes, but rapid adaptation, not the slow mutates into hundreds of different species with completely different biology of hundreds of years … ludicrous
You cant call someones bullshit, all science is based on the same research .. lol
Google the difference between gray matter & white matter, basic high school biology … lol
This literally happened to me last night. It’s wild how crazy it makes them if you just shrug and walk away
Hey man, I told you I can’t be bothered with your drivel. Now it’s time for you to ease away. Despite you “having pua in your name” I’m pretty sure I’ll be fine without your sage advice. Have a good day boss
Women are slaves to social status, the higher your social status, the deeper she falls in love with you …
The more social cue’s you’re able to generate, the longer she stays with you …
lol I said use what you want, not my fault you cant argue a point …
Besides, my comments arent just for you, learn to share … lol
ok bud, well while you are out teaching everyone what you have read on websites, do me a favor and leave me out of it. I don’t have the time or energy, nor the inclination, to explain to you all the ways in which you are wrong. I wish you the best champ.
Instead of bragging about how you know i’m wrong, why dont you say why i’m wrong like a sane person?
This is the 2nd time you claim to know everything i’ve said is wrong, but are too chickenshit to say why …
Look, im not one of those idiots who’s going to fly off the handle if you prove me wrong, in fact im more interested in what you think i’m saying is not correct …
is this your method of game? You find people who are rolling their eyes at you who actively tell you they don’t want to speak to you and keep at it as they get progressively more annoyed by you?
Look, if your middling intelligence and understanding of human psychology which you seem to have achieved by reading a lot of blogs is working for you, then who am I to judge. I am just saying that I am not looking for any help at the moment and you can offer your advice elsewhere.
I can also see you have mastered the “internet tough guy” routine so that is another feather in your cap….but you may be barking up the wrong tree. So, here it is, I politely told you I am not interesting in what you have to say and have then had to repeat it 3 or 4 times. Here it is now, without the veneer of being so polite: go away your fucking dipshit. You are annoying and useless and I have no more need for your nonsense.
Don’t confuse communication with social planning. They get make arrangements to meet, but damned if they can express an abstract idea!
But I do agree – my friends and I could barely organize a grilled cheese.
Stop beating around the bush. Say it SAY IT!!!!!
jesus, can’t catch a break with these insecure dudes.
lol, claiming someone’s wrong without proving how they’re wrong, is the height of stupidity …
Just got some tasty cortisone injections in my spine for my hemorrhaged disc. The irony– I didn’t even do it with heavy shit. I’ve never gotten hurt going heavy. It was the stupid fucking kettlebells.
Question: what “positive” comments would you say to a woman? I have the negs down. I dont think ive ever told a woman she’s beautiful in my life, except maybe during sex.
I just told a girl, 10 minutes ago, that I “am looking forward to seeing you tomorrow”
Why use a line. I really am looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. This same girl, when she got her hair done recently and sent me a picture, I said “wow! Looks hot.” And it did. It wasn’t a lie.
I really don’t have lines or things I say, negs or positives. I customize a program (though of course based on experience of what has worked, can’t avoid it) of teasing and complimenting which is very specific.
It is in my attention to detail, positive or negative, delivery and energy that they get their sustinence not in some pre packaged line.
Yeah I had some of those injections too. And from kettlebells. As the doctor explained to me, the nature of the KB is such that it increases exponentially the load on your spine in a way that convention weights don’t. He loved kettlebells because they kept his office filled with women needing treatment.
What you are saying has nothing to do with science.
Darn it. And I love kettlebells….
You can still do them but just raise the reps and lighten the load. And do them one handed. I used to do a strict military press with two 80 lb bells for reps but I could’t do a single rep with one 40 lber. One handed is harder because of the lack of leverage and is better for your core. And it reduces the load on your lumber spine.
Also, I mix up the regime with Convict Conditioning style exercises. A session of bridging wrecks me far more than a long kettlebell routine. And it is back healing – provided you don’t try to do the more difficult exercises too soon or frequently.
Yes. Definitely a fan of combining body weight circuits with kettle bells. I do use the standard two handed swing as a warm up though before incorporating the standard one hand snatches and cleans and Turkish get-ups etc.
What are your thoughts on deadlifting for strengthening or helping the back for recuperation?
Yeah, cat competition
I was trained to use the single handed swing by RKC trainers. I have never used the two handed swing common in most gyms and taught by most PTs. The main advantage of the single handed swing is that it is more difficult (probably why PTs teach the two handed variant) in the sense that it requires more skill to keep your form. You have to apply counter-rotational resistance to stop your upper body rotating out of form. This is extremely beneficial to your core and shoulder strength. The other benefit is that you have to use a lighter weight, since you can only use one hand at a time, and this is safer for your lumber spine.
The deadlift has never worked for me, even under some good instruction. And I don’t know anyone who hasn’t suffered an injury as a result of training this lift. I put it in the same category as motorcycles. Really cool but you will pay in the end.
The best way to heal the back is to avoid sitting at a desk and daily application of extremely boring exercises (given you by a good physio) to rebuild the tiny muscular spinal stabilisers in your lumber region. For strengthening you can continue with the KBs and bridging. Bridging is probably far better for creating tremendous back strength than deadlifting (which I think destroys your back).
Much for me to ponder here. I’ve been a fan of bridging ever since I committed to body weight philosophy 7 or 8 years ago. Appreciate the thoughtful and detailed reply, Bob.
Read something that will develop your mind.
oh shut your mouth you useless cunt
Did we just miss my point totally 🙂 ?
Possibly. Too apathetic to read back. If so, sorry. If not ibid
3 hours a day at the gym? You must look like shit bro.
You can sleep and eat off your over-training bro. Stop making excuses, eat more and better foods like vegetables and fruit and you’ll sleep better. Also cut down your internet time or you’re gonna be showering like there’s someone outside the washroom for the rest of your life. Born alone, die alone. Remember that.
That IFBB pro is on steroids bro. Nobody can train 7 days a week and look good especially 3 hours a day and cardio at fucking night!
You’re either lying to yourself about how you look and/or you spend too much time alone and you don’t realize you are feeling neurotic. The human organism is not at the mercy of individualism as is your personality. Unless you have an illness or are deformed, fitness is a one size fits all approach. Everyone else is on steroids or looking like shit and sucking their stomach in.
Bullshit. All men are not social animals. Lesser men are social animals. Like comparing dogs and cats. The beast alpha male is cat like whereas the goofy beta male is dog like. All men are not socially inclined and i’m living proof. The only reason I bring people together is to get what I want from them and then I bounce to my humble abode in the forest where I can be alone with my thoughts. Step out of that bubble you grew up in buddy. You sound like an eternal 16 year-old who didn’t get any female attention in High school. Real men are still looking for ways to do the same thing real men have always done and that’s conquer the next mans land. Point blank period end of story.
You can fuck right off with your presumptuous bullshit. I’ve forgotten more about training than you’ll ever know. With experience comes knowledge, the lack of which you have aptly demonstrated.
Makes them even crazier if you walk over and chat to another chick where they can see you. I have had girls leave the bar when they see that.
Once you realize women don’t exist where you’re from because they are all little girls and “girls just want to have fun”, you will be alleviated of this mind state. Step into the jungle my friend, and find out what it really means to be human.
pop quiz: where did the localism ‘boss’ originate?
You sure you don’t just live in Toronto?
Don’t know but would be interested. Do tell
I train 7 days a week 3 hours a day with cardio at night and do it natty. Last i checked I’m not nobody. If you are too weak willed or weak bodied to do it don’t take your insecurities out on me.
Plenty of guys on this site have seen me and I have nothing to prove to little chihuahuas nipping at my excellence
Advice from you on “real men” is like advice from women on men. Enjoy your cats bruh lol.
Bob don’t pay attention to the mosquitoes lol
I have no idea what you’re talking about …
I deadlift 3 times a week and it is the best workout for the spine and posture.
That’s not what my physio says but if it works for you more power to you.
I know, right?
It’s the single best way to force women into the world feminism has wrought.
actually the best way to deal with oneitus is to buy a ring and ask her to marry you. if she says yes, you know you have ‘a one’… and at least your interest is reciprocated – now you are in the drivers seat for the immediate future. you can take your time to decide and always call it off.
if she says no she will probably have pangs of regret later on which will give you the chance to pump and dump (remember revenge is best served cold). and if she really says no, well move on….
most men are simply too afraid to fail, so they simply fail by default. that’s the backbone of game – success via constant failure.
Make sure you get a receipt and find out the refund policy before you purchase.
Moissanite is a good option 🙂
I want a moissy ring when we hit our tenth wedding anniversary in a few years. Nobody will know that it isn’t a diamond and it’s much cheaper. I love to save!
Never underestimate the power of ghosting. When I do it, it has little to do with achieving a desired reaction from any particular woman. It has everything to do with teaching women how I want to be treated. Exactly like the article says, whenever a woman does something disrespectful to you, ask yourself if you would ever allow any MAN to get away with this sort of behavior. It’s about self respect, not trying to “win her over” by playing some kind of game. Women wanted equality, remember? This is just another way to give it to them. Modern men allow women to get away with murder, don’t be a beta cuck. Cut the cord and don’t look back.
“ask yourself if you would ever allow any MAN to get away with this sort of behavior”
I exercise that exact same mindset. It definitely doesn’t help with the notch count, but fuck it, I’m not playing the games anymore. And it certainly prevents getting involved with someone that’ll drag you down.
Ghosting……..the ONLY way to communicate with idiots in the 21st century. Had this little millenial special snowflake telling me how her “friend” was saying terrible things about her on MyFace. “Friend?” I said. I asked her why she was responding to the verbal assaults and she just couldn’t fathom not responding. I gave her a “no contact” lecture, but I think it fell on deaf and dumb ears. Oh well!
Soft-nexting. Bang another equally attractive girl asap. Make sure your former girl learns about it. Jealousy works wonders for the modern player. However, be prepared for the occasional stalker, and even fatal attraction from time to time. If you play the game long enough, you’ll run into one or the other situation, if not both.
Speaking of women in the 21st Century. Check out this women who dresses provocatively and then is shocked when men are provoked…
Ahh leave the stupid ones alone, and let the right women approach you. Because you are a man of character and virtue they (the quality women) will be attracted to you.
Personally, I’d copy her contact information down to an old journal entry (harder to remember that it’s there, but still available if absolutely necessary) and remove it entirely from your phone, little black book, etc. Back up your texts for legal reasons (on the off chance she tries to pull something, so you have a backup plan) and delete those, too. Then you can block her on your social media (easiest if you don’t use the stuff) and basically lose the ability to contact her.
Making it harder limits the temptation, but keeping records available in case of emergency helps cover your ass.
Yup! Ghost immediately and keep it pushin’..It’s hard as fuck when you’re all up in your feelings, but you will come out stronger than ever..I fucking promise you that.
Don’t ever give random (for sex) women access to your social media. Male friends and family only.
Ghost is right. When I was a younger knee I would always want to piss women off. I was not the victim of one-itus, but any woman who slighted me I wanted to make sure she saw her replacement(s) hanging off me. Eventually I realized that that kind of shit just keeps the dialectic in motion. Completely severing ties is the only way.
“Sorry I’ve been busy the last couple of days but my aunt died leaving me her mansion and $12 million so I’ll be busy for a while. See you later.”
After she tries to contact you a couple of times, block her.
That’s cold-blooded. I love it.
Heh!!! Nice one!
Marriage is the ultimate one-itis, if you think about it.
I know this article is directed at the wee lads for whom the era of poon is merely dawning, but lemme just say…
…nothing feels better than ghosting your former spouse who did you wrong. NOTHING. I want to bottle that feeling and spray it on myself like cologne every day.
hahaha – nice !
My marketing fantasies are kicking in. We’ll call it “Ghosting, when you want the smell of you to linger forever in her mind.” Or, “Ghosting, lingering but not present – it will drive her wild!”
Can we get Bob Smith in here with his artistic skills?
Better yet, just call it ZFG.
I read this as a derivation of a more general case about dealing with any issue in life. It seems to have two key components.
1. Recognize and acknowledge reality. Do not allow yourself believe in any fantasy.
2. Be decisive.
If this is instinctual for you, you’d likely handle the end of a one-sided relationship in pretty much the same way the article suggests. It also says a thing or two about your personality, but that is a topic for a different article.
For once, Troy, an article I can agree with.
For once? All his articles are precious gold.
I hear “The Wall” also helps.
egad! Just out of curiosity, I looked up this high school sweetheart that I broke up with at 17. She took this job at McDonalds and she was getting fat so I moved on to better territory. Those years haven’t been kind.
The only things that live in the past are dead.
Recently ended a short-term relationship with a 42 year-old attorney that I knew 15 years and time has ravaged her beyond belief since I last saw her. She also feigned every emotional “problem” (even PTSD, seriously??) under The Sun and popped Zoloft and Xanax and early on felt compelled to overshare volunteer nasty acts she had done it the past such as threesomes and “sleeping with” other girls (whatever that even means), I suppose thinking by telling me that shit it would add value to her instead of the absolute reverse. Ghosted completely now. Go ahead fellas, lay into me for even sticking it out with such slime for the two months that I did!
As a law school grad myself, I’ll be the first one to say NEVER date an attorney.
Most of the ones I know are closet or outwardly sociopaths.
No shit, bro! Sociopaths, drunken deadbeats, sexual degenerates… Cheap lesson to learn!
And that’s just the females…..
They’re total bottom-feeders who try posturing up with their expensive piece of paper. It’s comical and pathetic. I told the girl “Cupcake, no man cares about your career or your ‘credentials’. All we care about is how hot you are, how young you are, and how fat you AREN’T!”.
Cased closed (pun very much intended!).
I also changed her name in my phone from “Cupcake” to “Trash Heap” for when she tries to contact me.
Well at least you used it like and had enough sense to treat it like a disposable hand puppet!
It knew its calling in life, its place on the totem pole, its sole purpose!
42 was all you needed to know …….. way too old!
Yes. I vomited
42 yo female is ok, I suppose, when you’re 90 and your Depends undergarments needs changing.
The colloquial “sleeping with” is of course banging so she means adventures in lesbianland. I know more than I want to about that shit because in college some dyke kept bitching about people not wanting to know the logistics of lesbianism.
Because not knowing is any loss??
According to her everyone should know lesbians rub muffs -among other things.
Apparently raised in a catholic private school and lesbianism was her method of rebelling against authority. These deviants are cliche, aren’t they?
I always tell women “You’re like a walking clichè with a pulse.”, since the majority indeed are. Copycat whatever they see their perceived alpha females doing in hopes of replicating their social and sexial successes. Pitiful.
I had a writer friend of mine that attended one of the wealthiest all girls schools in the UK. She told me those things are nothing but giant girl on girl sex fests at night.
When she volunteered that shit to me a switch went off in my head that killed anything and everything I could have possibly had for her. I seriously hatefucked her every time from then onward.
Pretty solid advice, especially the cut all contact part.
A few years ago I was dating a 27-year old virgin who to my blue pill eyes was the perfect woman. Long story short I found out that she had been taking advantage of me financially, and instead of instantly nexting her I held out hope that she would come around.
Bad mistake, as a couple of weeks later I was treated to her wedding photos courtesy of a few of our mutual friends. If I had immediately cut contact as this article suggests, I would have saved myself lots of wasted time and some pretty dark thoughts.
So yeah, for the younger guys, it doesn’t matter how fucking hot she is. There’s always someone hotter.
A 27 year old virgin, huh? That’s where you fucked up. Same old too good to be true deal. But we all learn. Don’t give a shit what the few Monday morning quarterbacks on here say.
Well I fucked up in multiple places, but that part was actually true, heh, which is a big reason that I gave in to one-itis.
Shit happens. Keep moving on.
How can I get over these korean chics? They are way too cute.
But these girls are even cuter!
BTW, I have also met AMP girls that were almost as cute…
here’s another one to blow your minds, all you asiangirl fetish guys !
(and turn the sound off)
Easy. Date an American anime nerd that does nothing but try to act like a stereotypical Japanese anime girl all the time. I watched this video and cringed for about as long as I could take it…15 seconds.
except for one thing : when you fuck her, she doesn’t sound like a 5yo child crying.
About the only redeeming factor. Truly, Anime freaks are some of the most annoying people in the world.
i don’t know, but i wanna taste.. i mean try some
1:16 dog collar spotted !
another one who will fit the “being fucked like a dog” fantasy
The only oneitis exists in old cultures where a woman is trained since birth to cater to your specific needs. Short of that, there is no such thing. Especially in this J conditioned feminist dipshit wasteland.
Imagine how much better lives we would have if the J’s hadn’t sabotaged our cultures.
Those damn Japanese people….
Jewbacca and his hairy hordes.
How do you come up with these pictures?
Curse you Genji and your Murasaki!
so bad, so good….
Here’s one for the guys….. banged a woman last year. Been friends for long time. Finally got the bang…. not that I was waiting for years or anything…. just it had been years since we kissed. Anyhoo she pulls out the pack or rubbers beside the bed….12 pack….. there’s two left….I didn’t look at the sell by date….. kinda put me off going back for a second bang..
Good article btw……
That made me chuckle!
But if you saw your mate take a bottle of vodka from a container meant to hold 12 bottles you might just start asking questions!
Wanting me to wear a condom would have been enough for me to shout ‘next’.
Better than the girl that says “you don’t have to wear a condom”…. that usually means you definitely have to wear one
Way too many accounts of women “forgetting” to stay on BC (or worse) to trust going in unprotected.
Not a problem, I like babies.
This woman I’ve had an on-again, off-again thing with for several years, acted like a total cunt to me way back in October. I haven’t communicated with her since. She calls my phone a few times every week, begging and pleading in voice mails for me to speak to her again, and she emails me a couple of times each week as well. Hahahahaha. No fucking way, bitch.
If you let a woman get away with acting like a cunt even one time, she’ll never respect you. So even if it takes never communicating with her again, that’s the way you have to play it. Christ, how many millions of hot women are there in the world. One is no different than any other…they know it, and after you turn your back on them, they DAMN well know it.
Sage words from Uncle Bob. I believe in one strike and you’re done myself.
These days, I don’t even care if a woman is hot. If she is tolerable enough to spend more than 30 mins with, I will hang out with her again. The majority of modern women are plain insufferable, it’s rare to find laid back females who don’t feel like they have to keep up the feminist facade by having to fill up every fucking minute of their day running around doing bullshit, then complain about “how crazy their schedule is.” Bitch, that shit is a choice. All these chicks that have a million things on their plate are miserable inside, bet on it.
They’re all masochists, man…
Even if you got absolutely nothing on you, went poor broke, lost job, lost everything and weak as fuck, crying in public and being exposed as totally weak and vulnerable but if your girl is still with you, yeah then that is special.
^ (probably when hell freezes over though)
No such thing as “special girl”?
They are all same… therefore don’t need any “onetitis” or whatever that is.
Great article, and indeed a very important topic/lesson that every last man should learn and learn well. One-itis is a motherfuckin curse, people…And yet, like many illnesses, it can lead to amazing new beginnings. I mean, did you ever consider how many of us ended up swallowing the pill and breaking free of our beta lives because of it? I’m certainly one of them. My bout with the disease didn’t lead me directly to RP…But certainly, when I later found my way to this philosophy, it made me immediately able to recognize the basic surface-level truths, and that encouraged me to keep thinking about the harder, more difficult to admit aspects.
So to loosely quote Homer Simpson, here’s to one-itis: the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems.
As my father says “Women: can’t live with ’em, can’t shoot ’em”.
Arab Son: “Father, I am so happy, I am marrying the perfect girl”
Arab Father: “My son, you should have married a goat. A goat is better”.
Son: “But father, how can a goat be better than a wife”?
Father: “Hallah, hallah my son….after you f*ck a goat, you can kill it and eat it!!!”
I don’t know why you guys pretend there aren’t intelligent women– albeit very few– they are worth putting more effort into.
Now of course you’ll find no intelligence among girls that seek attention or that frequent bars– emotionally intelligent women are a premium, and most of them completely ignore our culture and get married young.
These women, if emotionally undamaged, are in my opinion the only ones worth marrying, and are worth seeking once you’re over sleeping around. Unfortunately most men seem to get oneitis for the dumbest, sluttiest women; leaving a bad name to monogamy.
I don’t recall anyone around here ever saying that there are no intelligent women.
But I will say they aren’t all that much fun.
Well, all the girls the authors have banged– or better said, that they talk about having banged– are bar sluts. The behavior they thus experience from these women is poor and they make all sorts of assumptions about the rest.
Women that have self respect won’t be on their cellphones, fuck every guy they see, or act like children. They are undoubtedly just like any other woman; but they learn to behave in public, have manners, and are sophisticated. More importantly they translate their intelligence into relationships; which very few women can do.
I can’t fuck intelligence, you knob
But what if her IQ has a zero in it? Makes a nice hole lol.
Go out and get 5 numbers! It’s the best cure cause you are thinking good thoughts about your new girl, not bad thought about your old one. Also keep yourself busy!
If you always have other girls on the side line, to keep your mind off your primary girl! It’s the only cure I find and it stops you from acting needy.
By saying this, if a girl isn’t acting a little needy, she has other men on the side!
I find fucking someone else straight away cures this in a day or two.
If I like a girl then I hit on her after about 5 minutes (basically just make her know I’m interested and see whether she reciprocates). If she rejects me then I’m cut up for about 5 minutes too and so what?
Ithink “one-itis” is only suffered by guys who lacked the courage to be upfront about their attraction from the beginning and dragged a courting process out for months or even years. The real advice to avoid this ought to be not to wait so long.
In the last 10 years my ‘courting process’ usually lasts under 3hrs. If I haven’t banged her by then, I move on. Why waste my time?
Months or years…… WTF!
I am presently victim to one-itis. First time in over ten years. I was fucking two other woman behind her back without a care in the world but, she just left me and all the sudden she has become the most important thing in the world. You only appreciate that shit when it goes and funny enough one-itis usually strikes after it’s all over, assuming she leaves you. It can be a deep dark hole to climb out of. Don’t fall in.
sorry man. this can strike anyone at any time.
Fear of loss is always greater than desire for gain. I know how you feel
No man. I wish you all the best and don’t mean to insult you, but scroll up a bit and watch the short video on BPD that some other guy pasted in his comment.
In fact, fuckit, I pasted the link down below for you. You may not have BPD specifically but what you’re talking about is not quite one-itis either. It’s something very different. Still dangerous and destructive, and still a real bitch to go through and get rid of, but get rid of it you can.
Again I mean no offense, only positive outcomes; but what you’re describing is not one-itis and I think it could become a bigger problem for you in the long run unless you really dig down deep and figure it out.
That is a strange comment. Focusing on the best parts of your relationship with an ex girlfriend when they suddenly disappear is a common reflex. Characterizing it as BPD is just about the weirdest thing I’ve read on here. Maybe you have this problem and you are projecting it on others but, anyway about it you are reading wayyy too much into things.
“Focusing on the best parts of your relationship with an ex girlfriend when they suddenly disappear is a common reflex.”
No shit, bro. As a younger Alyosha, I remember a few ladies that left me pining away in a deep dark hole. One especially…I cheated on her for years, disrespected her, sold her way short, and then when she finally left I was crushed inside. And there were others too, though not as notable or heavy.
Perhaps it’s not BPD precisely that you’re sitting on but the description of your actions, which you provided, is telling in and of itself:. You fucked other broads behind this girl’s back and now you’re crushed bc she split on you. That’s not one-itis. One-itis is where you’re like, omg she’s the only woman for me, I can’t be happy or complete without her, if I can’t have her I don’t want anyone else else, etc. What you’re describing is very different; it’s reckless behavior (unless you wanted her to leave, or were fully willing to accept that contingency), followed by an overly deep sadness after being abandoned….Maybe that’s not BPD exactly, but the pattern is close. Then for some reason you come to ROK of all places to moan about it and have a lil pity party for yourself. Fuck that. This is called tough love, brother. I said it before up above: if you’re going to bang other broads, you need to go into that fully prepared for the possibility that your main one might not like it very much, and might leave you as a result. This preparation, in whatever form it may take, is part of your duty as a Man. IMO, the number one lesson of the manosphere is “Actions have consequences and a man needs to understand and be prepared for them when he’s out there doing the hard work in life”.
Again I’m only here to help others, I’m not one of these trolls that just come to tell about the Jews or something. In your words I heard echoes of my younger, less secure self, and I don’t want you to wallow in self-pity or worse, backslide in your personal climb to the top of your own mountain. So don’t be so defensive; in fact, be very very open to all ideas (especially criticisms) that don’t match your own take on things at this point in time. That’s the only way to learn and grow, after all.
If any of this is an unfair characterization of a total stranger, let it roll off your back bc I mean no harm, only advice and guidance. However, I DO apologize for rambling here, I’ve had a little too much brain juice this morning.
God damn some ppl are so strange. So the mission you’ve sold yourself for being here is to “help others”, so you suggest they have BPD, accuse them of whining on a thread where sharing an expericne and some advice on the relevant topic is perfectly in boundaries and then tell them how to run their relationships they no nothing about. LOL. Seriously man, just fuck off. Go get a degree in psychology and practicing this self aggrandizing pseudo science on someone else. Smfh.
Yeah man. And I’ll be right here again the next time you bring a little sob story about your poor broken heart to ROK, which I imagine wouldn’t have taken long since I noticed you did in fact get a few “oh wow man, I’m really sorry” comments, along with the others telling you to go bang some other broads and you’ll be fine in a week. Your comment was in no way shape or form relevant to the piece, only to its title, which would be fine if this was a grief counseling site….Except it ain’t, so go snivel somewhere else.
Look who’s so emotional 😂 Jesus Christ man. It was just a comment. One of a hundred I’ve made here. Just relax and stop reading so much into things.
so you were cheating on your girlfriend,and she left you…and were supposed to feel like youre a victim of some sort? lol
So women are trolling this site now, huh? I’m never monongmaous. That has nothing to do with feelings. Grow up.
for starters…im not a woman,im a man.
you were deceiving a woman into thinking you were faithful to her,while you were screwing around with others. real men are not deceptive,they are real and straight forward.
also,you wanna talk about real mean and real patriarchy? look up what happens to anybody(man or woman) who commits adultery under Christian canon law,or Mosaic law. these societies were created and ruled by MEN,and adultery was not allowed.
Every cloud has a silver lining. Getting over one-itis requires quite a bit of emotional control for a blue-pill fellow.
My own close shave helped me attain great emotional control, which being augmented with to moving to a country house allowed for my meditation upon various things like physiognomy, arithmistory, a few business ideas, and (most importantly) who I am on a fundamental level. Retrospectively whenever I over-thought the game I fucked up like the cerebral dork that I am, but when I was just letting things roll I was pretty okay.
Planning on getting back in the game come this spring, when my projects will be hitting a plateau.
Very sensible article. Totally had this problem when I was young and naive. Got over them by eventually fucking a younger, hotter, archetype of them in my 30’s. Figure the ultimate way to get full redemption in your 40’s and 50’s, is to hook up with that woman’s daughter – and give her hard enough of a fuck that her mom will notice it in her walk and be forever envious.
Honestly, if you suffer from this sort of shit then you probably don’t get out much. The best cure would be to go on a holiday to some country known for easy but hot girls (like Thailand) and get some attention from more girls. Maybe you’ll meet one worth keeping too. Thinking one local girl is the world suggests a serious lack of life experience, see. But if you don’t have the money to afford such a holiday then get a fucken job – that might be why she rejected you to begin with. There’s no excuses.
Don’t fall for the needy trap, as it is nothing but self-emasculation and you will inevitably end up in a state of self-doubt and loathing. Challenge them on any smell of BS. If they are trouble then go No Contact. No BS, then No problems. There is never a shortage of women.
For the younger men out there, be aware that something like 20% of the young women have some degree of Borderline PD. These are pure predators without any empathy for you or anyone else. You must learn the signs of what you are dealing with. Trust me, it’ll save you a lot of trouble and possibly your destruction. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dXabMP5liQ
BPD is the worst thing there is. Enough women have it that it is a severe hazard. Know your enemy.
Before you search for the perfect woman, have a read of a funny book, by Erle Cox titled The missing Angel ….
See it @ http://manybooks.net/titles/coxeother08missing_angel.html
& have a laugh ….
Saw this today. When the one-itis is so strong that only Kratom can overpower it:
I suggest repeatedly reading the following in addition
And the next time… remember, Screen‐Screen‐Screen
Women will never love YOU unconditionally, only their children (if that). Suck it up and know it and go seduce. Repeat: Women will never love YOU.
Notch count matters. I am sorry to say this, as you guys face a nearly saturated market of high‐notch women in your age group – hence the overseas focus. But any brave souls that venture into LTR must not commit to a high‐notch woman.
Connected to the above, the only possible hope is if you are First and Best. At most Second or Third – but always BEST. If she has had better than you in the past, she’s just biding time… don’t buy an LTR.
I don’t care how much you lift, how buff you are, how much game you have – if the bitch is high‐notch and has a higher SMV guy hitting on her hard, you’re toast. Still if you value her, you gotta do all that to have a chance of keeping her. It’s up to you how much that is worth it to maintain vs. your life mission (and a woman is NOT your mission, correct?).
Women are like Oil Wells. Enjoy the pussy gusher while it’s hot – but know the well will dry out some day.
Spin plates forever – even if you’re married god forbid
In general –
1. Reach your maximum SUSTAINABLE SMV… don’t kid yourself if you slip, and we all slip in relationships unless you get mental toughness integrated into every waking hour
2. Choose only women that are 1-2 SMV points under you and keep that edge
Lemme see, I’m a 3, so under your theory I’d have to limit myself to 1s and 2s. NO WAY! I only shag 9s and 10s.
I implore you to expand!
We need it bro
Another oldie but goodie for your ebook collection
Book of Pook
Nah, I’m banging dedicated Catholics all the time, and Buddhists …… all the same, just cheaper than Protestants.
There is no more Catholicism today.
There was a time when Catholicism wasn’t pushing a liberal agenda worldwide? I find that hard to believe.
…of course, the protestants are doing the same crap, they just don’t have the same news coverage (which is a shame as the Lutherans et al need to be taken to task for furthering refugeehad).
“Women will never love YOU unconditionally, only their children (if that). Suck it up and know it and go seduce. Repeat: Women will never love YOU.”…………This is an absolute truth. It took me a lifetime to understand this. I will amend it to include daughters and mothers. The only two women in my life that love me unconditionaly are my mother and my daughter. I treasure them both.
I don’t know about mothers, but daughters will be women too. See what happens when you’re out of money… You are nothing but a utility to women – hard truth.
I don’t know how old you are mate but I think I’ve found the key to this.
What do the most insanely attractive women do? They are the ones who trigger two instincts in us at the same time: the sex instinct and the provider-protector instinct. All the sex kittens of Hollywood do this. Think Marilyn Monroe. Their insane sexual power comes from their ability to trigger both instincts strongly.
Turn this around: trigger their sexual instinct by being strong and powerful (self-improvement) and trigger their need-for-daddy’s-protection instinct. The two together are as powerful to them as the Marilyn Monroe effect is to us. In summary: be the ‘alpha provider-protector’.
(There is another, even more powerful combination but it needs careful handling: Kratom and Cambodian property investments.)
You can get unconditional love from a woman if you hit alpha provider status and you get a daddy dynamic going.
I call BS on this one. There will always be someone with a higher alpha provider status than you that she will ditch you for.
Potentially true of course but if you are 2 sigmas up then 3 sigma guys are like unicorns.
“Far better to disappear. Far better to have her wonder about you rather than you about her.”
Seems to me we’re really talking about two different situations here. The first is where a young guy loves a girl and she has absolutely no interest in him. Thankfully these are rare.
The bigger problem is the second scenario, that involves the so-called friend zone, where she likes him for his company, cries on his shoulder, etc, but will never make her bed his. That’s always for some other guy. This is where young, vulnerable guys are really in danger of one-itis. THAT is where anger is useful, as she’s essentially using him. She gets all the emotional best-friendish benefits that comes from a boyfriend or husband, but he gets none of the romantic/sexual benefit. She shows him just enough affection to give him false hope.That’s when it’s time to get pissed off, when the kid realizes he’s getting shorted in an uneven trade. You cut off all contact in either scenario, but its the latter where anger is appropriate to be used a a tool to get over her.
This is true and cannot be emphasised enough. A man only has himself to blame if he gets angry with a oneitis who has done nothing more than be polite and friendly in social interactions where there are other people around and never accepted gifts etc. There was a time when mothers would counsel women not to lead a guy on but those days have passed it seems.
“There was a time when mothers would counsel women not to lead a guy on but those days have passed it seems.”
True. On the flipside, as many of todays men were raised by single mothers, they end up getting set up for failure (regarding relationships) as mom projects on to her son how she wished men would have treated her. She instills in her son to be “nice” to woman and he ends up a doormat.
Young men who who were raised without much contact with their father, or a father figure (eg. grandfather, uncle, etc..), need to get away from their mothers ASAP.
This seems like the typical strategy and it works, at least for me.
just have a question to the author : you seem to link oneitis to purity myth, pretending that guys are drawn to the hypothetic purity of the girl. But it there such a thing like a oneitis based on the hyper whorish side of a girl ? i mean, pedestaling a girl who is an uberwhore for the sake of her sexual devious mindset ?
Hard to idolize something that comes a dime a dozen don’tcha think?
i dunno. the more i age, the more i value girls with a strong inner whore, with a strong sexual appetite and a will to experiment all crazy things instead of a pure virgin who will, after popping 1 or 2 children, put me in a sexual starvation until the end of my life. Hence my question, can a whorish version of oneitis exist ?
What you idolize is a behavior, not a person. I stand by my previous statement.
Good suggestions Troy.
The more chicks a guy experiences the more the symptom of one-itis diasappears entirely. Reason: when one realizes the true nature of women, it’s a cure-all for this affliction. He learns there is no such thing as “love” in the Shakespeare sense, only agendas. It’s an ugly harsh reality no doubt, but damn, it certainly gets rid of one-itis.
you’re right, the more one fuck many girls, the more one see through their bullshit, see the same patterns of behaviour, see the real value of women and cope more easily with their shit.
the oneitis is just a symptom of one’s inexperience with the female psyche
Even Shakespeare himself wrote scornfully and wittily of one-itis and romantic love.
“Even Shakespeare himself wrote scornfully and wittily of one-itis and romantic love”
True, but he also incoporated a lo5 of shit about love that pussified men.
A Maya Angelou quote here? Did I miss the irony?
Glad you caught that, gent.
No matter how pretty she is, or how special you might think she is…. just remember, she is a massive pain in the ass to someone out there who is sick of dealing with her shit.
“.. just remember, she is a massive pain in the ass to someone out there who is sick of dealing with her shit.”
Exactly. Years ago every time I would see a guy with a nice piece of ass I would start to get slightly envious and try to analyze what this guy did to get her. Then after I was able to get hot chicks in my life, womens’ lustre wore off very quickly. Today I no longer am envious of any dude when he is with a hot skank (or an ugly one for that matter as they all have same agenda) and I will even think of him as an idiot if he is married to said hot skank.
One thing about social media – as much as it has done a lot to fuck up the world today, at the very least this technology has shown women’s true nature. It’s not a pleasant sight but we need to accept it as fact.
Even Esther Vilar said this in her book “Manipulated Man”:
“…Hence, if one man meets another with an especially attractive wife, instead of being depressed he should consider how much money the woman is
liable to be costing her husband.”
“Manipulated Man” is one of the best red-pill books out there, about the true nature of women. A must read.
My experience has been that very beautiful women (8 and above) tend to be horrible people. The world lets them get away with it. Men put them on pedestals so they learn that they don’t need to be kind.
Ain’t that the truth.
“I’m not recommending that you become a basement-dwelling misanthropist, bitter about the world, about women, or about any meta group or structure” You just described my brother
The best remedy is when you see that the ONE, that special girl with whom you are in love, and you thought that you would not even want to fuck any other girl but her from now on, and you expected her to feel the same way towards you, is fucking another guy.
Then you realise that she never felt that way towards you, that most things happened only in your head.
And then you will feel as if a heavy boulder was lifted from your shoulder, you will feel free, and you will go out to conquer the world and all the hot ladies out there…
And while conquering the world, if you meet a hot woman who thinks YOU are the ONE for her, you are her one-itis, then you may consider an LTR with her, without you thinking that she is the ONE…
Or maybe she did feel that way about you, but the feeling didn’t last.
It’s a possible.
Maybe she did, but there is always a time-frame in which you can reach your goals with a woman. If you missed that time frame, then it is over for you, you had your chance and fucked it up, there is no way to bring it back. You have to accept and move on. The catch-22 is that you are not aware of the exact time-frame, you only realise after if you were still in it or not.
Happened with me last autumn, actually. Now I am happy to be over that one-itis of mine, and I am hunting happily.
True. In my case the girl that I had oneitis with back in college did seem interested in me for awhile. Calling me up, asking me out on dates, etc. However at the time my game was pretty shitty and I never knew how to escalate things sexually with her. It was after that I realized the flakiness started and I was left on the curb with constant stand ups, ignored calls, til eventually complete communication shut off from her.
We have to learn from our experiences.
We have to see the signs as they come and pounce on time.
For example, with that girl I happened to feel that the path is open for me, but I was too anxious to pounce. No problem, I said to myself, the path is open, I will pounce next time.
But next time I was more anxious, because I hated myself for not pouncing earlier, and I was worried that maybe this time I will be too anxious to pounce again, and promptly that happened.
And it escalated into a downward spiral, without a happy ending. If I acted the first time, no matter how anxious I felt, I would have been a happier man ever since.
So, we always have to act when the opportunity presents itself, because the next time can be on the twelfth of never. That tomorrow never comes.
My problem too at the time was blindness to the realities that are women. I had in my head that she was this special snowflake all pure and white. When I knew in the back of my head that she was blew and fucking her way through a ton of dudes, some of which I knew. That blindness and near level obsessiveness kept me from seeing any IOI I was getting from other girls at the time now that I’ve had time to look back at it logically with a clear head.
Do not beat yourself up about the past, remember your old self fondly, chuckle over the stupid mistakes you did, but learn from them.
I do not know how old are you, but I suppose college was a long time ago, no? Well, I was in college like 20 years ago, and my last one-itis blunder was just this past year. 🙂 In college, hah, I never would have dared even to talk to a girl, or to approach her within a 100 meters, so you did not do everything that bad that time, compared to me 🙂
Even close friends and family are not to be trusted as far as this is concerned. A friend of mine had to suffer the indignity of an ex turning up at the bar that he drank at with his own sister! As if there aren’t other bars in town (!) A clear attempt to stir shit up again on the ex’s part. He was embarrassed but tried to politely distance himself as far as he was concerned it was over. Why do women do this? His own sister-no doubt disneyfied on some ‘let’s get them back together’ nonense. I don’t think she meant harm but still how stupid of her. So believe me when I say that it’s not just yourself that will sabotage your attempts to get over a oneitis. No doubt it would be spun as let’s just be friends again (translated: nobody else will have me now I have hit the wall, can I take advantage of you again?) but that is of course nonsense as nobody in their right mind wishes to be in same room as an ex unless they HAVE to be (children’s wedding, dealing with shared offspring and so on).
Don’t let your sexual conquests meet your family and friends, then you won’t have this sort of problem.
I remarried 7 years ago, none of my family (including my 4 previous children) have met my new wife and only 2 of my friends (who never met my former wife). Best to keep different relationships separate IMHO.
Good advice for sexual conquests I admit, but most guys oneitis’ will at some point meet them. It is inevitable when a couple are seeing each other. Limiting interactions and keeping relationship as private as possible is the way so nobody with a blue-pilled ‘Friends’ tv show view of life can interfere. Red-pilled families stay the hell out of getting involved in others relationships, of course, so telling female family members to butt out in a firm but kind manner and focus on their own relationships as regards this is best.
Too many men let their female family members interfere in their relationships-this should be nipped in the bud as soon as the ‘why aren’t you seeing that nice girl again?’ shit arises.
Good advice except for running daily! That will fuck up your heart, knees and back!
agreed. Running is almost never good. There is a reason I got myself jacked….it’s so I don’t have to run.
I assume then that you use your horse to run down fleeing townsfolk?
that would be my job, lolknee uses a Porsche.
I am fine with townsfolk fleeing. Too many cunts here anyway.
Funny, but I am going to the doc tomorrow about my knee. I know what they will tell me, but just want the prescription for the anti-inflammatories.
Brisk walk then. Soothes the mind, body and soul.
Unless you have no feet.
Then it’s an irritation.
Nothing like a brisk walk.
Oneitis is no joke, especially for teenagers and younger men.
There have been, sadly, guys who have killed themselves because the objects of their affection weren’t reciprocating the same.
A guy kills himself because he is sick, not because of a girl.
Or because he is not mature enough to handle a relationship. Looking back, I don’t see the point of having any kind of “exclusive” relationship with any girl in high school, or in one’s early 20s.
Few people at that age are prepared for the emotional extremes that go with a relationship.
It is my experience of dating from 18 years onwards that taught me how to handle women once I got into my 30s.
There’s certainly nothing wrong with gaming women at age 18 or pursuing them for casual hookups. I’m just advocating that early adulthood (up to age 25 or so) is not the right time for a serious exclusive relationship of any kind.
My grandparents got married before 25 and did fine. I had two serious relationships before 25 and survived. I didn’t start gaming until my thirties.
I reject your reasoning. It is precisely spending that much time with one woman at an early age that taught me so much about how to handle women.
There are exceptions to every rule.
Maybe, but the rule is that you need to make hay while the sun shines. Your early adulthood is the time to really learn about what bitches women are. You won’t learn this without dating, both seriously and casually. When you are young you can recover from mistakes. When you get older, the cost of picking the wrong woman can be catastrophic.
That’s true. A couple of generations ago those nice men, the beta type, would realistically expect to marry a young virgin. They would then take seriously their vow to protect her and provide for her and she would be happy raising children. It was good for society.
Feminism has screwed up that deal. It hurts women and children the most but it really has been terrible for those beta men. The only ones who win are alpha players which is why so many here study the art of seduction.
I thnk it’s part of the reason why the first big pushback agaisnt feminism came via gamergate from the geeks. For years feminism has been infecting every industry and institution. Even apparently masculing things like the armed forces, police and profesisonal sports, all had to bow down to feminism. Yet the comptuer geeks and gamers absolutely refused. Those 17 year old loners who were relentlessly mocked by girls who went partying and who then retreated into a world of computers and maths weren’t going to take kindly a decade later to that same girl deciding actually she wants to be able to work in the tech industry without doing the maths and all games my be re-written to include her understanding of feminism.
I think cultural historians will note with interest that it was the least masculine of men (physically speaking, of course science, amths and technology are very masculine things) who really pushed back agaainst feminism.
Funny in that those women claim video games give young men a poor opinion of women.
Nope. They formed their opinion about women based on the women in their lives- mothers, mothers friends, friends’ mothers, aunts etc.
My solution has been to sleep with as many as her friends as you can.
It gets you over the one-itis, and it gets under her skin.
1) Immediately sever all contact — personal and electronic.
2) Immediately throw away or send back any of her personal items in your possession.
3) Call up any and all single buddies, apologize for being a pussy, and have a glorious night on the town.
4) Fuck something — anything — as soon as possible, even if you have to pay for it. The hotter the better. If it’s her friend, even better.
5) Reward yourself with something she disdained (an expensive cigar, tickets to Metallica, a trip to Thailand, new paint job for your classic car, etc).
6) Embrace your newfound freedom and the joys of sleeping alone, eating what you want and saying what’s on your mind.
And then don’t ever do it again.
I spent 3 years chasing after one girl in college. I wish I would’ve had something like this to read back then. It would’ve spared me a ton of grief and misery.
Absence makes the heart grow fainter.
Yeah one-itis turns you into a wreck. When I look back at myself now, I see weak minded fool. Got to the anger stage and used it to join a gym. 8 months of blasting the gym and I’m in better shape than I have ever been 👍
Add her on your social media. Live an awesome looking, fun life. Somewhere down the road, invite her for a drink near your place.
No. Live your life, forget her, realize that there are plenty of women in the world, you’re not going to mesh with every one of them– they may be quite nice and even admirable in some respects, but just not a good fit for you.
I mean, it really shouldn’t matter to you how her life goes or her opinion of yours. If it does, you’re letting yourself dwell in the past vice live into the future. Just my .02.
Nice article. I literally did all this.
Damn…where the f*ck was this article 20 years ago?
I’m wrapping up getting over a past girl right now. I wouldn’t call it a “one-itis,” as she had major red flags, but she was the first girl that I could talk to about western degeneracy, race, red pill, etc.
It’s really just getting over an oxytocin addiction, nothing more. I would have never married her or cohabitated. I just miss the femininity and the companionship.
We’ll both have the same outcome-a life of pump-and-dump, except hers will lower her value, while mine will be the same nihilistic pleasure.
Yeah it sucks because you can’t hardly have contact after a fusion in all respects. The antidotes to bitterness are in my mind
1. Lots of light loose hookups indeed
2. Avoid diving into work, instead maintain and hit ‘play’ more
3. Avoid negative people, music, and media
4. For me I started a Meetup Mens froup.. outside regular circles was real cool and was like college buddies thrown together all over again
The special in the end was not so special after all.
“Girls are human beings and none of us are perfect.”
Yeah, yeah, obviously that’s true, but it’s also not really what I am looking for now is it? I don’t need her to be immortal, shit gold, and grant wishes. I just want her to be as honest and honorable as I am. Just simply good. But that seems like asking too much these days. The only example of a good woman that I can think of is fictional: Elizabeth Masters from the tv series Masters of Sex. That’s a woman I’d fight for. All the women I meet aren’t worth pulling a hair for.
This is a bit of a tangent because I am not talking about a particular oneitis girl, but rather the frustration of how shit women are in general and a sort of psychological oneitis in that the standards that I think of as good are apparently sky high when compared to real women who are apparently garbage. It’s not exactly Mad Maxx here in Australia, but I wouldn’t do more than have a laugh or a moan with any of the people I meet. I certainly haven’t met anyone I can entrust to create children with and then to combine together for some 20 years to nurture, love, protect, and guide them.
I mean, it’s a good article. Lots of guys have this oneitis problem and more often than not it’s just with some dumb cunt who happens to be pretty. But I wanted to comment anyway. Cheers.
Ghost immediately. Then, 1 month, 3 months, 6 months down the line, SHE will be contacting YOU.
Yeah but don’t get all beta wishinhopin… you should have better by then and she’s so rearview mirror
I think you misread my post. I’m saying, ghost her, then sit and watch as she comes back. Then, if you are still single, or whatever, bang and bounce.
These are the Exact Steps one should also take when dealing with a Sociopathic Female. Interesting.
just kick em off the pedestal
Go fuck another girl.
Gotta get fucking, that’s the key.
Or maybe, take a vow of celibacy. That is also a good idea.
Every day I take her head out of the freezer and give the bitch a piece of my mind.
I am a hardcore feminist, and I approve this message (does that mean you should change it? Lol).
I will argue that the women with this “come and chase me” mentality are the natural result to the sexist media -after all, it is not us women who rule Hollywood, people, except to play roles that dont even portray is in a real light-. But it is very, very harmful to not be straightforward with what we want or desire, and I think this happens more in heterosexual relations than with other sexual minorities.
So…it is not ideal that a woman “pretends” not to be interested in a man and it is also not ideal that tons of men only find this invigorating to continue a tiring pursuit.
The “friendzone”, that is on YOU. If you feel like you are putting emotional labor into a relationship and are not getting the same…address the issue with said person. Maybe she is on the same page (yay!), maybe she is not (woman, bye). Either way, dont start a friendship that brings a lot of perks if later you will remove yourself from that relation because it was not a friendship what you wanted all along.
Trust me, there are still women out there who find it enticing and attractice to have a man that says: I wanna take you out on a date to get to know you and see where this might lead (idk, you’ll know what to say). Besides, do you really want to be with someone that doesnt make communication easy -because relationships are already difficult as it is-?
Anyway, good luck in all future romantic endeavors. This might be the only healthy and clean article on this site :p Bye!
Just remember always that women, no matter how you think they make you feel, it’s only in your head. You are making yourself feel this way, not her. It’s a thought pattern in YOUR head. Nothing more. And another tip: Just think of any woman as blood, shit and lymph sustained by an electric field.