How “Constructive Ambiguity” Can Help Improve Your Game

In seduction as well as in business and politics, it is a huge mistake to show your hand too early. If you want to sleep with hot girls—and in particular if you want to keep them around afterwards—it is essential that you practice ‘constructive ambiguity’.

The clusterfuck that is Brexit is the gift that keeps giving over here in the U.K. right now. Many on the right were delighted when last June we voted to leave the European Union, regarding it as a modern-day peasants’ revolt against the bureaucracy and red tape imposed by Brussels, and a reclaiming of British sovereignty.

It is becoming increasingly difficult, though, for even the most ardent ‘leaver’ to find much to admire in the Tory governments’ handling of this complex process. I’ll spare you the details of our embarrassment on the world stage since it has been well-documented elsewhere, but suffice to say that Great Britain appears to be undecided about what it hopes to achieve, underprepared and naive at the negotiating table.

With Theresa May leading a minority government bolstered only by an alliance with the DUP, and with strong voices on the left (and right) eager to derail the whole Brexit process, we have an interesting few months ahead of us when the summer recess comes to an end.

While I am no fan of David Davis, our bumbling and allegedly alcoholic Brexit secretary, the man leading our negotiation, he did say something recently which makes a lot of sense.

You will find it difficult sometimes to read what we intend. That’s deliberate. I’m afraid in negotiations you do have constructive ambiguity from time to time.

In this Davis is absolutely right. For while he and his team have received a huge amount of criticism in the media, both in the UK and worldwide, for their handling of the whole process, it is entirely correct for him to suggest that allowing one’s opponent to have complete sight of your ‘hand’ upfront would be ridiculous.

Constructive Ambiguity

David Davis being constructively ambiguous, yesterday.

The phrase ‘constructive ambiguity’ has been attributed to Henry Kissinger, said to be a foremost exponent of the art. It is also reflected in Robert Greene’s third law of power “Conceal Your Intentions’, and also in his fourth, ‘Always Say Less Than Necessary’.

Less generously, constructive ambiguity has been called ‘fudging’—that is, being deliberately vague in one’s use of language in order to cloud a complex issue.

In the case of the British government, it is difficult to say whether constructive ambiguity is actually being used as a deliberate strategy, or whether they are simply flailing in trying to deliver the impossible: a complete divorce from the EU bloc to appease eurosceptics while retaining key benefits of membership to ensure our economy doesn’t fall off a cliff in April 2019. Presumably this will become clear in time. But on a personal level, constructive ambiguity can be a hugely valuable tool, both in game and in life.

Constructive Ambiguity With Hot Girls

A hot European girl considering Britain’s Brexit negotiating stance

In pickup, the player who is most ambiguous about his intentions is the most intriguing and will therefore enjoy the hottest women. Does this mean that you should approach indirectly and conceal your sexual nature? No, not at all. Constructive ambiguity is absolutely not incompatible with being upfront about wanting sex with her. The mindset that you should adopt is as follows:

I am a man, and therefore of course it follows that I seek to sleep with hot young women. That is a fact and I own it. Nevertheless, I have multiple sexual options and so I remain ambiguous about my intentions around commitment.

When I approach a girl I like to make it very clear that I am a sexual being, that I see this as a man-woman interaction and that I am interested in her principally as a sexual prospect. I don’t mean that I tell her this in a clumsy way, but rather that it is implied in every aspect of my presentation from my eye contact with her to my tone of voice, to my body language, use of touch and so on.

Ambiguity around being a dominant man who desires sex and is unafraid of showing it is an anathema to females and will lead you straight to the friendzone.

However, ambiguity around your intentions with that specific girl is dynamite and will get her hooked. Yes, you would bang her, that goes without question. But equally, you are able and willing to walk away since you have so many other options. This is where teasing comes into its own.

I often open with something like ‘Hey, you’re cute.’ But I will immediately override this with a takedown of some kind, something teasing and challenging. I want her to realise that at this stage I’m ‘just browsing’. Yes, she’s an attractive option, but right now that’s all she is—an option. And with plenty of others waiting in the wings I am more than happy to walk away with no deal.

Once you have slept together you should continue with the same strategy (if you want to keep her around either as a friend with benefits or a girlfriend). Don’t be too eager. Don’t respond to her texts too quickly. When you do respond, always write less than her. Don’t drop your plans on her behalf. Be unavailable sometimes. Don’t talk about your feelings. Never initiate the ‘so are we boyfriend and girlfriend?’ conversation: let her do that.

By all means ignite the flame with a direct approach if you like, but after you’ve done that use constructive ambiguity to keep her guessing, to maintain her excitement and intrigue. As it becomes clearer that the UK’s short-to-medium term prospects outside of the EU are economically bleak, so our opponents surmise that we don’t have options and can proceed to screw us royally over Brexit. You don’t have the disadvantage of the world’s media being trained on you, so maintain your mystery at all costs. Always remember, if you are an open book then she will leave the library with another.

For a compilation of all Troy’s best game writing, advice and techniques from the last four years buy his new book How To Get Hot Girls Into Bed 

Read Next: Ten Lessons About Girls I’d Teach My Teenage Self 

34 thoughts on “How “Constructive Ambiguity” Can Help Improve Your Game”

  1. Stop it! I can’t stand it when a broad makes me try to figure out what is going on in her mind! I’ve already suffered enough with her crap! Someone get me a safe space, a kitten and a coloring book to deal with how women treat me! ( oh and you stop by McDees to get me a Big Mac with all the necessities?)

  2. The sexual market value and perveiced value are crucial components. If a guy who is roughly on the same level (looks, personality, social status and money) or slighty lower, then the anti-needy behavior towards high-value women is important. If a girl is a 6 and a guy is a 7 or 8, then he mostly has to be nice and normal, both in the pick-up and dating/relationship process. The difference could be contextual though, as there are more petite girls in some countries and cities, and more unattractive girls in other locations.
    Two strategies: frame, or real abundance. A guy with frame has to refrain from doing the needy mistakes. A guy with several options will almost automatically come of as more aloof.

    1. When your SMV is perceived as higher by her, you can honestly make a ton of noon mistakes and still get her thirsty. I can attest that when a woman thought I was hotter than her I could do everything “wrong” and she would get more and more hungry for the cock. When a girl perceived her SMV as higher than mine, all the aloof bullshit and generally anything I did or didn’t do still wouldn’t work. Some girls literally have that many options to where YOU are literally wasting your time by caring about whether you’re doing things right. Just stop being concerned and keep spinning your plates and never ever fall for a girl with an SMV higher than yours.

      1. Yes, a lot of wisdom in there. Totally agree. If your are not on her list then behavior simply does not matter.
        SMV is also linked to the general rules of one night stands. A guy can get an 8 if he is or is perceived as a 7 or 8, but only with lower standards the same night.
        The exceptions would be some locations like Japan where girls can be super-tight and cute, yet let themselves be banged the same night due to lack of sexual restrictions.

        1. Honestly it is in a man’s best interest to just keep increasing his SMV. SMV is the biggest aspect of game. If you have two men gaming a woman with the same amount of pickup experience and thought processes, the one with the perceived higher SMV will always win. I think even a man with zero pickup experience can get hotter girls simply by just talking to women IF his SMV is perceived as higher.

        2. Jess MG, you my friend have solved the “reality of game.”
          Game itself is an SMV. Just showing her that you are not shy to approach increases SMV.
          The latest technique I have noticed is bragging. I hate it but we’re dealing with women. If a guy brags, I can’t stand him. It shows insecurity. But with women, it’s like letting a little areola show.

        3. True but I was referring to the hypergamous nature of women and their own view of their SMV. If you think about it, a man with a perceived low SMV will be met with hostility on the same approach a man with perceived high SMV would be welcomed.
          It’s the equivalent of some fat chick wanting your nuts. Yeah you get a bit of an ego boost but part of you is thinking “does this bitch really think she has a chance?”

        4. I’ve outdone guys better looking, taller and apparently richer than me on some nights. I don’t always have it, but some days in my life, I’ve been bullet proof. I’d say what you’re preaching is a rule 80% of the time, and by far, the best thing you can do is improve your overall SMV by the usual standards. Interesting hobbies, interesting job, interesting social circle and social life, making good money, having a good body, good haricut, interesting and nice cloths and vehicle. Hell, a boat doesn’t hurt.
          But it would be crazy to think that the way you interact with women and other men isn’t part of your SMV. Confidence, cockiness and humor are all part of your SMV, along with social standing, wealth, power, etc… and on and on and on. It truly is quite possible for a poorer, uglier man to out play his apparent better.
          So while you’re increasing your SMV by hitting the gym, building your own personal business, traveling to interesting locations, picking up a new hobby, why not also increase it by improving area’s where you lack socially? Bad story teller, work on it. Not humorous, learn at least how to deliver a few good punch lines. You can truly improve your humor, I’ve done it personally. It started off by learning a lot of one liners you could pepper into a various different conversations and they’d sound funny no matter what you were talking about. After a while of using them, my brain started to understand naturally what’s funny and now it comes up with it’s own one liners.
          There’s still more. I’ve known guys who make good money, work out and are in shape, are pretty funny when around the guys, but whom are totally shy with the ladies. While you’re correct that if two guys chat up a women, she’ll be inclined to go with the guy with higher SMV, no matter what those guys say, there’s two things you have to remember. First, you’ve got to be approaching to begin with. Some girls will approach you just because you have a wad of cash, but many will still wait for you to approach, no matter how hot you are. Starting and leading the interaction, without blowing yourself out of the water is your job. Many decently high SMV guys are too afraid to even open a lot of women, and if they do, they say something stupid that kills the attraction. Seen it first hand. Without the confidence to approach a lot of ladies, you’re not getting anywhere, ladies don’t approach and they won’t lead.
          Second, what you say, how you look at her, how you touch her, these are all parts of your SMV. Seriously big parts. If you’re rich you can still run a girl off by acting “creepy.” If you’re good looking, you can still be decimated by a guy with better verbal game. Maybe this is because women know men with great verbal game are some of the most powerful men around. Your words can be total panty wetters.
          I’ll close by suggesting that my own success with women has had more to do with how I perceived their and my SMV than it did with how they perceive it. It seems you are suggesting the opposite is true in your experience, and I could see why that would be at least partially true. It does seem unlikely a women would want to indulge in a man she perceived as lower SMV than herself, no matter what he says or does. But that again ignores the fact that what he says and does is part of the SMV. I know I’m repeating myself, that’s because this is crucial.
          No, I think your own perception is far more important in your interactions with others than theirs is. Both are, but to you and the outcomes you want, yours is. My reasoning comes from simply examining my younger days. Basically, I had all kinds of women I wasn’t interested in crawling all over themselves to date me. And non of the women I wanted to date, wanted to date me. Thus, I wasn’t doing to much dating as I didn’t want to lower my standards. And most of it came from acting normal and even cocky around the girls I didn’t like, but acting like a shy idiot around the girls I did. So it very much goes both ways.

        5. Of course. Theirs 2 SMV’s involved to create the comparison. All you can do is raise yours. And despite being clearly higher than her, her perspective is what matters. If you’re a 10, she can easily say she’s an 11 and want something better. I’ve had girls tell me in my wealthy friends face “I’m just with him for now.”
          Male hypergamy is simply getting younger girls. We both play the same game. Woman have been hypergamous ever since. I believe the difference now is there is no female shame about it.

        6. Data104e

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        7. Well not exactly. Male hypergamy is getting a woman who is hotter than he is. In many cases they are younger but not necessarily. Anyway nothing with bedding girls hotter than you I just wouldn’t go around promoting them to the top harem spot because looks isn’t merit. The one who treats you the best gets the top spot even if she isn’t the hottest because she had submitted to your male authority the most. Besides since SMV is about perception it is entirely possible to be older than a woman and still have a higher SMV. But my point was that simply approaching doesn’t equal higher SMV.
          Anyway a lot of what in this article assumes the girl sees you as having a higher SMV than she. If she always sees you as lower SMV none of what the article says will really help much.

        8. Since it’s all perception as you said, i disagree, she does not have to be hotter than you… low self esteem can lower your SMV while hers is still lower to the general publics eye interpretation of beauty.
          Both perceptions must be considered.
          And I stand by the action of approach as an smv. Think of it as a “who does he think he is?” When it comes to smv, even the loudness of your voice when saying hello to your friend, the way you tap your friend on the shoulder, the waiter/owner knowing your name, etc… IS smv. Now if she PERCEIVES it as more smv, then it works. This is subconscious. You can be direct to the conscious and brag instead.
          It’s all perception. Sometimes, you can get the girl afterwards when it registers in her brain, weeks later. You can change her perception over time. But who has time for that?

        9. I noticed that too. I was with a girl tonight and started talking about my company’s achievements. Her eyes got wide and double blinked when I talked about it. Men see right through bragging but women fall for it everytime.

        10. Google is paying 97$ per hour! work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!
          On tuesday I got a Smart new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobs456CashHomeShare/GetPay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!ap166l..,……

      2. Some girls literally have that many options to where YOU are literally wasting your time by caring about whether you’re doing things right. Just stop being concerned and keep spinning your plates and never ever fall for a girl with an SMV higher than yours.
        So true!
        I’m talking to this chick right now where the texting is pretty back and forth at times, so sometimes I won’t respond to her shit right away or she won’t respond to mine.
        I really don’t care either way because I always assume they have something else better they could be doing, and I won’t know because I’m not on the other side of that phone.
        I just really don’t care…..

        1. My own personal approach is that if anyone appears to not take my time seriously, I simply terminate the interaction. I’m positive that prevents me from getting laid on occasion, however my time is too useful to be wasted on whimsical people.

        2. The time you spend being s clown for a woman who couldn’t give a shit about you is best doing other things. Or other girls. I would rather spend time playing less games and being less of a clown. Once you realize your SMV determines most of your lays you stop chasing. Do some girls drop off? Of fuck yeah. It isn’t going to make the girls you stopped chasing much more into you like some believe. If a girl perceives your SMV as lower than hers it is very hard to reverse that notion. Most times you just move on to a girl who perceives you as the prize.
          This is why I am a fan of the yes girl approach. Yes girls see your SMV as higher. The other girls need convincing. And to be honest once you find enough yes girls the others won’t be on your mind even if they are hotter. It gets old trying to get a girl who just isn’t all that interested to fall for you. It just is emotionally draining and you also have to consider that meanwhile she is trying to do the same for some guy who she perceives as having a higher SMV than she. I always assume when a girl starts to ignore me that she has found some other cock she wants to devote her attention to. Then I simply move on. It is simply a revolving door my brothers. I have had girls go from wanting my nuts and wanting to see me every day to ignoring my texts and becoming suddenly busy. When that happens I knew I did something that lowered my own SMV or i was giving her something to take her time until a higher SMV man came along and she no longer had use for me. It happens. We just have to be OK with it. Personally once it happens to me I don’t even try to DHV or any of that bullshit. I just plumb move on and forget she exists because her fickle nature is enough for me to give up on caring.

        3. Not even close. The time I spend on here is almost exclusively at work when I have to be at a desk.

  3. Is it ambiguity, or indifference? On the one hand, there’s “I’m totally into her, but I’m not willing to let her know, because then she’ll have power over me…” On the other, “fuck it, she’s a great looking chic, good in the sack, fun to be with, etc. but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna care if she wants this to continue or not…”
    After your early 20’s, after you’ve been forced to play their game…it becomes a man’s game, IF we’re talking about a man, rather than a little boy who’s just older than 25. Women don’t become the woman they will be until their mid-30’s, anyway. I think it’s just smart to have a “take it or leave it” attitude, unless you’re looking for a mother for your children, which is the ONLY reason to get married in your 20’s, like I did.

    1. I’d suggest marrying a women in her early 20’s when you are in your thirties and established, and know how to discern the good from the bad.

  4. My private thoughts are valuable and they lose a lot of their value when I share them.
    With my current GF I oftentimes will smirk, look into the distance and say a little, “Hmm’” as if I just thought of something interesting. When she inevitably asks me what I am thinking of I tell her that its, “guy stuff,” or something else vague. It definitely gets her thirsty.
    And, as always, you are the most attractive when you aren’t trying to be.

  5. I have employed Napoleon’s “We shall see” line a few times (copied out of the 48 Laws of Power) to great success. No matter how hard I am pressed for a hint as to which direction we’ll go, I just repeat the line: “We shall see.”
    What surprised me about this approach is that it drives women crazy. If you hint that you’ve made a decision but aren’t ready to reveal it, it drives them nuts. Hold that frame, and you start to gain a bit of extra power in the relationship for a while.

  6. Great article as usual Troy.
    However, don’t worry about our politicians. The European politicians aren’t any better, we just know less about them.

  7. i’m cool with keeping it vauge.
    You can express alot without saying anything at all.
    You say a lot by the things you don’t say.

  8. Yeah spinning plates and trying to build a pipeline or alpha 2.0 scenario changes everything. There is one girl who friend zoned me whom i still try to reignite… but it means nothing really compared to the yes girls that are dtf. Its just a side bet for a rainy day.

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