There will be times in life that you will be so angry or upset that you will be tempted to do some dumb shit that could ruin your life, career, or reputation forever. The world is full of toxic souls that feel a pleasure in pushing everyone’s buttons or causing trouble.
Nevertheless, no matter how angry or upset you’re about what someone did or said to you, or some misfortune in your life, some fights are not worth picking. Below I will give some tips on how to keep your cool when you are too blinded by hatred to calculate the casualties and consequences of the vendetta you are about to embark upon. Since none of the tips I give below can be considered a “one size fits all,” my best recommendation is to use a mix between them depending on the situations and problems you face in your future.
1. The 10 second rule
“Who wishes to fight must first count the cost” ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Before I decide to do anything when I get some upsetting news or provoked by someone, I do what I call the 10-second rule. Breath heavily, close your eyes, and count to 10 before doing anything. This really helps me to think more clearly about the consequences of what I will say or do next. Always try to do this before acting on your impulses and ending up doing something stupid, like punching someone in the face. It may cost your job, a lawsuit, your reputation, career and even your freedom.
2. Remove yourself from the situation until your temper has cooled down
“know yourself and you will win all battles” ― Sun Tzu
When you receive some bad news or someone provoked you in some way or another, the best way to deal with the problem without risking yourself to act on your emotional impulses is to simply back down temporarily from the situation that triggered those negative thoughts. Wait until you can think more logically about how to face the situation. Then go back and do your best to deal with the problem in a logical manner.
3. Think about the consequences and what you’ve got to lose
“There is no instance of a nation benefiting from prolonged warfare.” ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Sometimes just reflecting about the negative outcomes that an impulsive action can have upon you and your family is enough to most men to not let their emotional impulses possess them and make them do dumb shit that they will regret for the rest of their lives. Remember, before saying or doing anything stupid, always think about the repercussions your action will have in your life and to others depending upon you.
4. Use the art of rhetoric to humiliate the other person
“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War
In case the person hasn’t made physical contact with you but is trying to humiliate you in the verbal or psychological realm, I recommend you to try to humiliate him back through mocking. Sometimes the best way to deal with toxic people who constantly try to humiliate or belittle you is to use what the other person has said against them.
If you don’t have enough information about him, wait until you’ve gathered more information about him through his reputation, past doings, and so on. Or you can just make a joke out of what the other person said about you.
“To know your Enemy, you must become your Enemy.” ― Sun Tzu
The art of joking can be a powerful ally to defeat your haters. You can destroy his plans of making you lose your shit if you can make a joke out of something negative someone said about you. You will be able to make most of your haters give up on destroying your frame. And that’s not the only benefit of it: if you can joke about your flaws and your overall personality it shows to others that you are a very self aware person. In short, not only no verbal bully can affect you but you will also come off as having a strong charisma and frame to others.
5. No way out, just punch the guy in the face!
“The wise warrior avoids the battle.” ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War
There will be some cases that you will be deliberately provoked in such an offensive manner, such as when someone hits you, that if you don’t punch the guy in the face or fight back everyone will consider you a total wimp. In those cases, I do recommend you to say fuck it and just do it. I’d rather be hated by everyone and have the reputation some kind of violent primitive caveman than to have the reputation of a pussy doormat that everyone can push around.
It’s up to you to decide which fights are worth picking. However, if you do decide to act on your impulses, beware of the consequences that you might face. Remember the repercussions of your impulsive action can be worse than having the reputation of a thug. You and him may be fired, get sued, face prison time, and so on. If you did opt to act impulsively, I seriously hope it was really worth it. Also, if you see violence coming, you have the right to defend yourself.
Conclusion
“Thus the expert in battle moves the enemy, and is not moved by him.” ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War
In the end, it’s up to you to decide which fights are worth picking and which are not. In case you decide to act impulsively upon then, I hope you really thought about the short and long-term consequences. We are all adult men to know well enough that, unlike hot girls, the world won’t turn a blind eye if we screw up. We live in a world full of malice and wickedness. As much as you try to get along with everyone, there will always be some people who get a kick out of stirring up controversy and creating circles of hate. Beware some people love to get others in trouble.
Read More: 4 Steps to Forgiving Yourself
Great list Howard. It’s an unfortunate reality of the modern world that the guy with power over us (maybe a boss, or a guy you need to process some paperwork) can act like he is untouchable despite being a complete wimp. Even the most beta males can be in such positions. When that happens their insecurities take over and they treat better men with disrespect for no particular reason. Laws and societal norms protect them from getting their asses kicked. It’s the only time I wish I had nothing to lose because very few actions would be as satisfying as beating the shit out of such people.
Yeah this really touches upon the mental torture of “false alpha” or “undeserved alpha” in management hierarchies. This is the position many modern women also aspire to because it re-frames them in ways they are not naturally able to achieve. They’re protected by a social structure beyond your control and so you may be humiliated in the annoying confines of an undeserved power imbalance (subtly or blatantly, it’s happening). This is why dudes sometimes go postal or drop out of society altogether.
Agreed. Many of the articles like this I have read made me lose respect for the site.
This one is practical, solid, advice I would give to my own sons having been in scraps all over the world. Mostly verbal. When you realize that you’re NOT less of a man for not fighting, the mockery doesn’t even hurt.
Why should you have your life destroyed for the enjoyment of people you have not met, will now likely never meet, and could care less if you life or die?
A friend of mine in Greece told me how his father in law was demanding he spend the money he saved over a decade for a house frivolously over a big fat Greek wedding.
Then he could save for a house.
I told him: “Make that father in law your enemy. Because he isn’t worth being your friend. He’s an idiot. And he can enjoy the thought of his daughter giving you a BJ later that night for holding frame.”
Something like that.
@OceanSon
Exactly what I was thinking. Females in power can rarely handle the power and resort to petty schoolyard bullshit and bringing other females (HR) on board to try and crush you. All my problems with work administrator have been females.
@Ocean. Yes, my senior manager is a cucked man who impregnated a single mom and then married her. He is now stuck, and she’s a controlling bitch, so he takes it out on us.
As an alpha I can’t let betas get away with laughing at me when I calmly explain the facts of any subject they’ve brought up (wage gap, gamer-gate, pizzagate, trump, etc). I haven’t resorted to violence in these situations, instead I put them in the corner and get in their face and slam them with fact after fact till they’re subdued into silence and their fucking smirk has been wiped off their face.
I did used to be polite about it, now I refuse to be cordial. Fuck those fucking pussy cunts. I genuinely want to see them wiped off the face of this earth. Sure, this will happen naturally due to them being unfuckable, but in the meantime I want them to know they are stupid, that they don’t know shit, and that they make pussies dry up.
So far not one single beta that I’ve ripped into has come back with any facts or retorts, instead they’ve just ducked their heads when they walk past me while I openly smirk at them. There is nothing more powerful than facts. Don’t be embarrassed to correct the record, the future is on our side.
Ben Shapiro???
Wonderful and practical list for dealing with all the beta and omega douchebags out there that one encounters with startling regularity.
Unfortunately such lists are a necessary to have in one’s mind given the laws today.
A lot of these types do need the thrashing they never got as children or young adults to learn manners, proper deportment, and integrity, but given the laws today not worth the loss of both funds and liberty.
@Jared
Thank you. I agree 100% with you. This is the cost of Modern Civilization. In a complex civilization like ours weak betas, annoying nerds and SJWs can easily end up as bosses and thus ending up using their position of power to humiliate manly men and any other people they envy or hate. They know, that the law and their position of power protects them and they love to abuse this new found power. I find this a very unfortunate reality of living in a modern society. Deep down those physically weak men know, that if it wasn’t for modern civilization and laws created by human languages and cultures protecting them. They wouldn’t stand a chance of ending up as bosses and or getting away from insulting others. Mother Nature would take care of any in balance between. It would be survival of the fittest.
My best advise for any red-pilled men is to quickly find ways to create a passive income or be self-employed. Not only you will avoid having to worry about not losing your edge or frame with your boss. But you also be saving yourself from slaving away your entire life for a company ruled by some weak SJW beta nerd obsessed with Star Wars, that is insecure and gets the kicks out of humiliating real alpha men, who were supposed to be his boss; if we were still living by mother nature’s laws.
For the young adults, out there, reading our commentary. My best advice for you is: Open your own business, start writing books, sell stuff, become a story teller, become a comedian or a musician and so on. But please do your best to find alternatives, that will allow to live a life without having a boss humiliating you. Seriously being a nine-to-fiver is a terrible way to live life, especially if you have to put up with having a shitty boss who takes on you his insecurities.
Its not gonna be an easy journey trying to create a passive income and most will probably fail trying. But hey, the benefits, in case you succeed, are so great!
Maybe without realizing it, you just described what it is like for a man to work for female supervision.
I like the use of quotes from Sun Tzu’s Art of War.
And let the anger cool down when the shit hits the fan. Perhaps no one will know you are/were angry. After all…
“All warfare is based on deception.” Sun Tzu’s Art of War.
Very good article.
I do have problems keeping cool sometimes; it’s a weak spot nurtured by my many criticisms of a lazy, self-involved modern society. Aurelius said it best — we have to be careful we don’t become like the enemy when we fight them.
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I don’t abide the “power of victimization” culture we see growing, and don’t support any of those people (I offend them), so now I have this axe to grind (by default). It’s like we’ve forgotten the hard times and want to live in a world free of consequences; people are walking around with blinders on. A lack of aggression or suppression of occasional justified violence (verbal or otherwise) is actually a form of modern male humiliation and feminist control. Women love to fantasize that they live in a world where the natural violence of man has been brought to heel under various legal restraints, because it makes us look like we have submitted to female sensibilities. All of that is ripe for a take-down, just on principal alone.
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Nature doesn’t give a shit about any of this conjecture…I try to remind the women in my life: “If you hang around any man worth his salt long enough, EVENTUALLY you’ll see him restraining his violence.” It’s a direct warning to snarky, self-satisfied weak-minded women, and a way to remind them that we are vastly different and always will be. They’ve been conditioned to harp on that sentiment and see it as a bad sign (in all men who have not bowed to daddy government and the MSM’s social engineering), but their concerns are BS because they live in an alternate dimension. Ignore them. In reality, it does indicate that the natural limits instilled into men remain timeless; you cannot stop it. We’ll decide when we want to start or stop it in the spirit of don’t tread on me / live free or die.
Number 2 is my favorite taking a step back and formulating a plan of attack or letting it go are important decisions that cannot be made without cooling it off and talking it over with friends and family.
One catch with the mockery/rhetoric strategy–it doesn’t work on females of any kind. You’ll just get accused of mansplaining, being [something “bad”] -ist, having a small dick, or get some other irrelevant crap thrown at you.
*either [something “bad”] -ist or [“minority”/cancerous policy] -phobic
The witch hunting will begin with females. The cabal will form with the HR twat leading the charge. Tears will be shed, pearls will be clutched and you will be expected to apologize. NEVER apologize.
What will supporters of the police state say when their beloved police come to arrest them for racist hate speech, to confiscate their guns, and to force them to board trains headed to the concentration camps?
And they will be first before the rest of us. I doubt that any realize that the same thing would happen to themselves as their enemies.
MOLON LABE!
DEUS VULT!
If you’re not willing to stand rather than be shipped to a death camp, then I would say “may your chains rest lightly on you, and may history forget you were ever our countryman”.
You’d be no better than a (((tribesman))) who let himself believe “Arbecht Macht Frei” which was a lie. Why (((they))) didn’t resist is something I’ll never understand.
I’m from a long line a rebels. They rebelled against King George, then against King Abe. IOW, I’m a heritage American who believes in my posterity and am willing to do what is necessary to maintain it.
No trains or cattlecars for Mike here. I would hope many of you share similar convictions. If not, you have to go back.
Lift weights & be cunning
My rules:
-Build value, comfort and pride: when you have got things going for you, you’ll be less upset by bottom dwellers trying to get a rise out of you. If you get upset easily, consider that it may reflect insecurities that are based on real shortcomings in your achievements and character. Do you think that a brain surgeon would start throwing hands if some shithead on the street said something mean?
Treat everyone with respect unless it’s impossible and most importantly of all avoid places that will contain the worst people who’ll try to get the worst out of you. For young men this mostly refers to nightlife; clubs, bars and alcohol filled musical events etc.
If you attend such events, try to do it from a position of power as an organizer, youth or congregational worker etc. which will give you immunity and authority.
If someone is gesturing violently, pretend not to know their language and show a little vulnerability such as walking away confused. Your brain won’t interpret that as a territorial loss but you’ll feel that you simply fooled your threat.
Remember that the human life and body is vulnerable; take pride in your athletic achievements but don’t expect life to be a Steven Seagal movie where you can bully people with impunity because your lifestyle revolves around MMA and steroids.
Gutter dominance is for men who never evolved beyond the grade school level where the most aggressive kid is the leader. As you evolve as an adult, you should view yourself less as a sack of meat (physicality dominance) and start seeing your body as a tool for your mind’s ends.
Remember the real battle of life is the mundane daily grind of keeping yourself together and supporting yourself and others. It’s not as sexy telling everyone to get effed while doing a flying roudhouse kick across the room but it’s much more real. A kid sniffing jenkem on the streets of a third world country and selling his body to wealthy tourists to afford a meal is more of a warrior than some UFC fighter will ever be.
When shit hits the hand be prepared to pull out your weapon and eliminate the threat.
True, but don’t unless you must.
Don’t try to fight an old man, he’ll just shoot you.
Sun Tzu was ahead of his time. Love that guy and the other thinkers of ancient China. I wonder what he would think of modern China?
Sun Tzu would think…”Too many fluckin Chinee now” also “at least I can eat at City Wok Resturant” He would definitely be a fan of South Park.
A king must never provoke a fight, but must always be ready for one.
I would like more articles on this subject. In this society, where the laws don’t allow to react directly, we have to keep our cool in many, many, many situations, even in front of disgusting or dangerous behaviours. I like the idea of keeping it cool, but I want to know how you act with intelligence in the storm. I think there is also a physical base, like a balance between our nervous and hormones system. Some people are naturally cool in stressfull situations. I noticed that when I get on a large amount of meat diet, and CUTTING all sources of carbs I feel way more grounded, I don’t think it is the only ingredient, but I think it helps. Please dig into this subject.
When will Toronto’s economy collapse? I HATE MANY OF THE LIBERAL WOMEN IN TORONTO!
“Punch the other guy in the face”, “Humiliate the other person”. Exactly what I would expect from a website for violent, racist mysoginistic website
If I hated women, I wouldn’t be having sex with them all the time.
But I do dislike and avoid white women (that’s less than 15% of all women).
White women are worthless!
White women rejected him for 20+ yrs in the UK. Now he bangs, flat-faced, flat-chested, flat-assed, slant-eyed, piss-stained gooks. And they put out only because he pays them.
Dodds is probably having a better life/getting laid more in his 60s than 70% of men in the west in their 20s and 30s
@ Top Ram men… dont knock it till you try it chap, been shagging far east girls for the past 20 years and could never drill a westerner now, in fact I find it great fun being indifferent to them whenever I have to deal with them. You have no idea what you’re missing!
Married from age 22 to 52 in then, banged one of my sons classmates while being divorced. Never had any problems bedding white women, just didn’t feel the risk of child maintenance and false accusations was worth the squeeze. Now I bang gooks, one I married and others on the side I pay.
If you ever managed to bang a woman of any race, you’d have realized apart from the one-night stand club sluts, they are all looking to be paid.
In one way or another.
Tom Ramn,
There are three sorts of posters who slam me, 1) white female posters, 2) Incels (aka PUAs) that have never had sex with a woman more than once or twice (she’s gone when she understands you won’t pay), 3) Racist white knights that feel the need to defend the income of white women from those of us who spend our money in other countries.
Which one are you?
Take a hike, rabbi
I don’t think you read the article correctly. Fight only as a last resort, and not to get yourself into trouble with the law. Walking away is best most times not worth the hassle.
Kuroy,
I think you should increase the amount of SOY you consume you are not getting enough. You sound like a ponzed out sissy boy.
Kuroy: “its ok to punch (anyone not a deluded, degenerate chanting Marxist acolyte)”
This person is almost certainly female. If it’s male then is sure as fuck ain’t White.
You have to go back.
*misogynistic
Kuroy
Time is more valuable than money. Stop wasting yours.
Better being known as a caveman then a pushover makes sense.
People can still adapt to the opposition’s tactics without stopping to their level so to soeak so I personally don’t practice number four as name calling and playing the political game gets exhausting and a bit wimpy. But that’s just me.
If you could add to this list, it would be conflict prevention which is achieved by being better prepared then you opponent.
It has to do with being smarter, more charismatic, and tougher then who you are potentially dealing with.
Overall if you are putting in more work up front beforehand (which is basically self improvement) then you might not even care what someone does. And if they do make big deals about xyz then so what? You’ll be too busy getting stuff done and getting better at your job or whatever else you like to do.
Great article! There is a lot of benefit for the more red-blooded among us in using cool-down techniques to save career or face when the situation calls for it.
What are some tips you use or recommend for improving argument & rhetoric skills? While this is an area I strive to constantly improve in, I find it much more apt to learn how to respond with an air of “cocky indifference” in lieu of humiliation. This essentially implies expressions in which you remain unfazed by the opponent and refuse to break frame at even their most vehement provocations. Resorting to insult is an admission of weakness/defeat while deflection, on the other hand, is truly an art to behold when executed well. However, since it is highly context-specific, only sheer practice and a solid understanding/application of rhetoric will help one refine those skills.
Either Socrates or Cicero (origin disputed) once said: “When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.”
This is difficult -you cannot reason with them. They do not seek accord.
Therefore refuting their “arguments, or mocking them after they -> insult/degrade/humiliate/oppress/scream racial-gender nonsensical epithets -> they play victim -> then insult you with nothing racism/sexism-> you refute, debate -> they play victim, shape-shift to another topic -> you respond/defend argue -> they play victim, insult, etc…
lock you up in circular “arguments”….
Only way to win is to not play.
however, you are correct in improving rhetoric skills, and not breaking frame…Study, practice. Only glad I’m not stuck in a Human Resources controlled cubicle…
http://www.europeanamericansunited.org/school1/Fiction/kipling/awakened.htm
Hopefully Trump will organize this, for total push back; or slow boiling trip to the gulags…
A good place to start is with studying basic logic. People do it on their own yet it does help if you take a 100/200 level course provided its the right one which can be online or at a community college. If you want to go another route for roughly the same cost, online LSAT courses or equivalent are the way to go and are a bit more demanding then the lecture style route if you want to really understand how logic works.
The cheapest route of course is to by some books yourself. A lot of guys like to study by writing a summary of each chapter or section then moving on. Its the slower of the options but it provides you the ability to retain the most information although you will need to practice paying attention to everything and not reading only the parts that are entertaining. In other words, its more difficult for the whole logical process to click in you head as you wont have someone who knows more about it to teach or critique your findings etc.
From there you’ll have to move into philosophy which is a combination of politics, ethics, and self improvement (depending on who you study). There is also learning about the differences between types of speech such as debate v. rhetoric v. rationality. You might move into how nations are built and what governments look like but the important thing is that if can get this stuff down pat it helps you order things about you and your environment better to see what needs improving and where to allocate good effort etc.
Basically what you would be doing is weaponizing speech with a political flavor since you know it’s ins and outs and provided you have been improving yourself in other areas of life you will be having too much fun either maintaining, fixing, or problem solving to give a dam what other people think about you (mainly because you would be better at knowing what your opposition is trying to pull and the vast majority of the time a bit trivial and unimportant for getting stuff done).
In times of ever increasing aggression from all the guys that can’t get laid or make it in the major cities of Europe, looking unremarkable, driving an unremarkable car and avoiding places where frustrated guys and manhating feminists congregate (nightlife, drinking venues, public transport, shopping streets where muslim incels will run amok etc. ) is the key to a good shot at a long life and a solid career.
last time arrested was after a local construction guy ran me over in his truck.
broke my bike in half – I was taken to the hospital.
Called cops after -“do you have my bike?”
cops: “yes its here; come and get it”
Big bull dyke cop cuffs me when I walked in. they didn’t have my bike, local guy had pressed charges against me…..
they are always lying – and not on your side…
keep your cool, there is no fighting anymore. if you do run away.
actually for now, always run away…
you will lose on the street and/or in court…
I am a veteran of many a bar fight, etc…cops usually didn’t care so much – now its arrests and lawsuits…
just like the antifa can commit felonious premeditated assault – and charges dismissed.
Opposite with straight white guys – presently…
Wait, and watch
Badman.
I want the rest of the story. Arrested for what? On what charges if the guy ran you over? What happened in the end? Charges dropped?
Yes, policing now has nothing to do with public safety. It is about harassing and violating the rights of regular citizens.
For him not apologizing profusely after running me over with a truck. there were allegations. I plead the fifth…
Imagine a cop in the 50s: “you ran this guy over? And you want to press charges? hahahahaha”
Stellar article. I love when examples such are given and lined up with the teaching of Sun Tzu. Might I suggest a series of weekly articles covering the 48 Laws of Power giving examples that line up with powerful and smart individuals in the modern day. Could be spread over about 10 weeks.
Also, this article must be linked to “How to Survive a Modern Day Witch-Hunt”, RoK, May 22, 2014. This article finally clued me in to how I was getting screwed over and how I was contributing to my own demise by allowing myself to get sucked into the agenda.
A friend of mine who used to be a LEO an now teaches self-defense at a few gyms has a saying “once you get into a fight, even if legally and morally justified, you have still lost”. What he is referencing it that even if you “win” the fight most likely are going to sustain an injury (even a moderate blow to head can leave one with concussion type symptoms for weeks). Also even if say the police respond and find you acted in self defense there is nothing stopping a criminal charge coming later after police review video or the other party files a private complaint. Then there is also the fun civil liability. Unless the lawsuit against you has absolutely no merit you are still going to be out legal bills and potential legal liability because the system loves a victim.
Unless you have no other choice leave the area, maintain your cool, and seek assistance (but don’t expect the police to largely care). The only exception I would make is defending my house. Property can be replaced. Facing a mugger throw your wallet in one direction and run in the other.
Had a friend about a decade ago stand his ground, legally, in a bar fight. He largely won but ended up with a broken nose, a trip to the ER, and was later arrested. A few court dates later, a big ER bill in the mail, and he also got sued in small claims court. I saw the video tape from the surveillance camera at the trial and it looked like he could have walked away instead of taking a swing. In the end it cost him about seven vacation days, a messed up nose for a month, and years of the civil action languishing in small claims court waiting for resolution.
Unless you have no other recourse, just walk away.
What I would add to that is that the context and psychology is quite different in street attacks and bar fights. Bar fights tend to involve some amount of mutual agreement about getting violent although more often than not one party has pushed so far that the victim feels that he can no longer let it go and feel like shit about not standing up for himself; in essence he feels defeated in a primitive evolutionary sense which is, as I said, a reason why bars should be avoided once you have a solid social circle. It was harder in the 90’s with no internet but more doable now. Having to constantly associate with people who are too dumb to entertain themselves without drink will slowly drag you closer to their level.
If you find yourself in a bar and someone goes out of their way to be a prick, having a phone handy would be useful. Disappear into the bathroom or whatever for a moment and call some of your friends (if you have any), preferably jacked intimidating looking friends and have them come into the same joint without establishing any visible connection between you and them. Just have them keep an eye on things.
Once the bully tries to establish dominance again, have your friends join you from the sidelines and say something that’s not too provocative but that will set them straight like “We expect everyone to get along here” perhaps accompanied by resting a hand on the bully’s shoulder.
Depending on the joint the bully may feel confident in the bar environment because the staff are low lives too (and his friends or former lays if female) or the bully is associated with the owner, which is why the staff might take his side. The friend trick will humble them.
Girls almost never go into bars without their friends (or boyfriends or orbiters) having their back. The reasons are different for them but the same principle works. If you’re going to have a night out, ensure that your friends will be available if your mere presence as a self-improving man will make someone mad enough to push your buttons.
If it’s with a woman just leave. You save yourself (potentially) a white knight cop encounter and deny her the emotional volatility she craves.win win.
NEXT!
Good practical real world advice. Simple and full on full of common sense. Good s*** man!
Reminds me of an incident that happened a couple of decades ago here in Montreal, when a Black man pushed a White woman in front of an oncoming Metro (as the subway trains are called here). He was very angry and upset about something, he wasn’t mentally ill as far as could be told and he immediately regretted what he had done, but it was a little late for that.