The motherfucking first date.
This is where it all goes down. You’ve already met the girl – whether through approaching her, online dating, or otherwise – and successfully scheduled a date.
Now it’s time to capitalize on the opportunity and make the best of it.
It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for a wife or a one night stand, the same rules apply. You want to have a good time, see if you like the girl, and then escalate the attraction if you do. And I personally think that having a good time is the most important thing here.
Don’t put pressure on yourself to have to make it happen. This will only turn you into an awkward, nervous wreck and turn the date into something obligatory rather than a good time and a chance to get laid.
So while I think just enjoying yourself is rule number one, below are five tips to facilitate a good time that also gives you the best chance of taking it to the next level.
1. Get drinks
No need to be creative on the first date – just get drinks
There’s a time and place to get creative when it comes to dates., but that’s not the first date.
Honestly I think it’s just trying too hard to invest more than a quick drink into someone you haven’t really gotten to know yet. But drinks are also low pressure for her (she can walk out at any time), the alcohol helps calm the first date nerves, and it’s always easy to find a convenient location (depending on your goal, you may want to choose somewhere close to your place). Either way, no need to overthink something so simple (this only can only lead to insecurity and doubt), just go with drinks.
2. Sit next to her
Once you’re at the bar, find some bar space or a counter where you guys can sit next to each other. This is key. It allows you to be closer to her than if you’re sitting across a table.
Being next to her will grant you the opportunity to touch her – and her the opportunity to touch you. Capitalize on this and touch her at organic points in the conversation, when you guys are laughing or when you’re telling a story, for example.
3. Lead the interaction
She wants you to take the lead… don’t be a pussy
This is crucial. At all points during the date you should be leading the way.
Pick the bar. Pick where you’re sitting. Order the drinks. Lead the conversation.
And a big one: after getting one round, make the move to another bar. This keeps things fun and prevents them from getting stale for both of you.
Taking the lead shows that you’re a confident and masculine man, and it can help make her feel “secure” in your presence. Above I listed just a few things to focus on, but you should take the lead in all aspects of the date.
4. Ask the right questions
So while the exact content of the conversation isn’t important, you can connect with her on a deeper level by asking the right questions. The key here is to avoid the boring “yes” or “no” questions, and stick to more open-ended questions. You can’t go wrong with “how’s” and “what’s” (these are better than asking “why?”).
For example, if a girl tells you she grew up on New York City, you could take two different approaches.
The boring approach: “Did you like growing up there?”
Or in the interesting approach: “What did you like about growing up there?”
The latter is open-ended, and requires an expanded response, which leaves more opportunity to dive deep and make a stronger connection. Use this technique to deal with the inevitable first few rounds of getting-to-know-each-other Q and A and the date will be off to a strong start.
5. Hold her hand
Holding her hand on the first date shows confidence and builds attraction
This last one might seem overly aggressive, or like you’re trying too hard to be her boyfriend. But I assure you that it’s pure gold.
Girls love this. It builds up that “we’re on an adventure” together vibe and escalate the physical play and sexual tension like nothing else. I suggest you use this move while changing locations.
I strongly believe that being confident and honest is all it takes to become a dating powerhouse and attract women into your life. Keep your focus on building yourself up and use these tips to help you set up a killer first date.
Read More: How To Free Yourself From The Need For Women
Good article. Non drunk first dates are my lowest rate of success due to my failure to escalate.
What’s wrong for going out for coffee, etc? My concern is that if you get the girl too drunk & you end up fucking her on the first date, then you have to worry if she’ll cry rape.
Or if you spend too much money on drinks and then she wants to leave after you funded her alcoholism
Coffee is good too. I like to do coffee on a Saturday afternoon with a broad. Drinks during the evening.
I agree. My husband and I met for coffee on our first date. We had drinks right after the coffee because we were enjoying each other’s company.
Banhammer here plz
I fucking hate it when women post here, even if they are supportive. I feel like I’m in the locker room, joking with my buddies with my junk all hanging out and in walks some damn woman who doesn’t belong there.
Too bad for you. I’m not going to get banned because I am completely supportive of the views expressed on ROK. Too bad for you. I’m sure you’re going to start ranting to get me to leave but I won’t be doing that.
I would have been banned already if all the men minded my presence.
Stop trying to start shit you bitch and go make me a sandwich.
I did not attack you first, so YOU were the one who was “starting shit” with your comments. I don’t make sandwiches for whiny manginas like you. I cook feasts for my husband, darling.
I don’t worry about that. She doesn’t know where I live and I’ll toss the burner.
It’s come to the point were coffee has become too old fashioned for millenial women. Rarely do you ask a girl “how bout we get a cup of coffee, 7 o’ clock?” It’s just too traditional/boring for them now.
Agreed. I’m not against a couple drinks at a upscale lounge or something similar to loosen up. But these bitches who are just trying to get mutiple free drinks out of you is bullshit.
Good, simple advice. Can confirm it is useful.
yes. I always get laughs when I tell people I don’t sit across from girls on dates, I sit next. I start touching after the first drink. Betas think drawing it out over several dates and surprising her with some sexual interest a month later is the way to go.
The problem might be that if you do it too fast it may be desperate to some. Generating mystery may help? I usually do touch on the first date but it is a dilemma that I have had recently about whether I should change that or not
Depends on if you want a LTR or ONS.
I’ve actually taken a woman out for 5 dates only to find that when she was ready to get naked for me, I’d lost interest in her. lol You drag things out too long, things can go stale.
I have the same problem. I lose interest quickly because, well, women just aren’t that interesting…
If you study them too much you start to see what’s wrong with them.
But you still slept with her, right? Didn’t let her get down to her skivvies then say, ‘nah, move right along’.
Then you don’t need game to compete with Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule.
There is a mistake I sometimes commit which may be due to my schedule. I meet women after work and or after the gym so I am usually hungry. So rather than merely making it into a drink date, it becomes a dinner date, which ends up being more expensive and with a higher risk of getting played. The problem is, eating out before drinks can be expensive, unless you eat something that leaves you a stinking odor (like tacos or kebabs). I am trying to figure out whether I should just go home and eat or simply go hungry all night. I know it may be trivial, not sure if anyone else has gone through these dilemmas and have anything interesting to say on the topic of not spending too much on dates, especially first dates
Chicken is the most odorless high protein meal I’ve come across. Take some grilled chicken beast with you to eat after the gym and pop a breath mint. you’ll be good.
listen to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5B-gm73qMcY explains exactly what you’re talking about and what to do about it
VAGINAMONY!
payment for a previously used vagina
You could just go to a cheap restaurant. That’s what I do. It can be cheaper than drinks.
Part of the problem with American women is you have to pull all the weight most of the time when it comes to conversation. I have had much more meaningful conversations with latinas who didn’t even speak English than I have with these boring domestic hoes
Read more: How to free yourself from the need for women. Oh, RoK.
I know ROK says you’re a beta chump if you take a woman to a restaurant on first date. But consider happy hour at a wine bar, and order appetizers. You don’t have to order a bottle of wine. She only gets a glass of house wine that’s offered at happy hour price. The idea isn’t to get her to drink to lower her defenses. It just gets her over the awkward feeling of being with somebody new. Never let her choose the venue. If you’re picking up the check that’s your male privilege to go anywhere you want.
It depends on the girl. I have taken girls to restaurants on first dates and its been fine. Overall though, you have to protect your finances so it is prudent not to do the dinner thing.
Dinner can get out of control. That’s why I said wine and appetizer, at happy hour which is discounted. Coffee at starbucks, that’s what she does with her girlfriends when she’s bored, or what she drinks at the office, or what she drinks when she’s stuyding for test.
Coffee bruh? Who’s talking about coffee?
Think it’s important to qualify the ‘hold her hand’ part. It’s good to pull her along to the door to get to the next place, or over to the jukebox/dart board/etc., but it needs to be dropped as soon as she’s coming or it just gets awkward and clingy. You’re having fun, not being creepy-sweet
yeah you gotta be careful. There’s no right or wrong answer here. If you move in too early you could come off as desperate/clingy. On the other hand, if you act indifferent or wait to long, she’ll move to the next. I really don’t believe in the “oh just act like you don’t care and she’ll be chasing you!” Nope. Also, if you’re doing “aggressive screening,” as Chris from Good Looking Loser calls it, its best to move fast so you can see if she wants to bang, and if not, move on to the next.
“Think it’s important to qualify the ‘hold her hand’ part.”
Indeed. I do agree that hand holding signifies a major stage , and sends a message to the female of where the interaction / relationship is heading. At the same time don’t be too Archie Andrews about it (Archie Andrews from the classic Archie comics) so start holding her hand for brief moments, then start holding her hand longer. You have to determine the rate of escalation. But indeed do not be too romantic because we all know that young hot chicks are put off by romance. Fuck….. it might even be more effective to have a pair of handcuffs with you, and observe het reaction when she sees you pull them out.
Yeah, like taking her elbow to lead her out the door or past a drunk on the street. Hold her hand crossing the street or something like that. . .It’s a take charge move that doesn’t come accross as needy.
A bar is a very bad place to take a girl. If you get her drunk, usually bars have food and you end up spending alot more than you intended. On top of that you are opening yourself up to be cock blocked to bouncers, other drunk men, drunk women, friends she might meet, old love interest, and bar tenders. Then there is the false rape card.
A coffee shop is better. You’ll be better able to gauge the girl’s legitimate interest and she can’t play the he spiked my drink card and you stop most cock blocks.
I’ve come to realize, the real trick in dealing with women isn’t just gaming them. Gaming women is like Sales. What is the best way to sell a pen? Find someone who wants to buy a bunch of pens and sell it at an inflated price or sell them 3 boxes when they wanted just one. What is the best way to get a woman? Find a woman who wants you, or many who want you, build a harem, and have them compete against each other for your attention. This isn’t going to be by getting her drunk. Just like getting the head of the purchasing department drunk isn’t the best strategy to selling alot of pens. Getting women drunk isn’t the best strategy. It is a good one, but not the best.
Gaming women one on one is like a realtor trying to sell a house to a client one on one. If I want to sell you a house at an inflated above market price. What is the best way to do it? I take you to an auction or a bid and get you into a bidding war. You see I get you to pay above market price by creating an artificial demand. People aren’t looking at the big picture. Most people are small minded. It is why they are so damn gulliable. They’ll happily vote for Hitler as he drives the country off the edge and they do all the dying and he does all the champagne drinking.
Women too will “pay” an inflated price for a man who ain’t even all that, so long as he is able to generate phony demand or seeming demand for himself from multiple women.
People are weird. If you push them too hard 20% give in, 80% back off and assuming you must be conning them and that is why you are pushing them so hard. So when you are able to step back from a woman, a sale, and pretend like you don’t even care it goes through, then 90% of the time they come crawling back like a dog between their legs, often even chasing you. The trick to not caring is other options. If you have just one option your desperation will show unless you are really sauve, which is just rare. You can try to fake it, but most of us aren’t good actors. We think we are, but most of the time you are lying the other person knows your full of shit.
She drinks coffee at work all day.
Good, then you save money on buying the bitch coffee or the bitch can drink what she is use to drinking. Don’t waste your money on a bitch, if anything she should be buying you shit. Women want equality, tell them to give you their credit card and run it out.
Dirty Rotten Scoundrel
Caffeine takes it in the wrong direction, no matter who is paying. I wouldn’t do it unless you’re religious about alcohol.
“Women too will “pay” an inflated price for a man who ain’t even all that, so long as he is able to generate phony demand or seeming demand for himself from multiple women.”
True, they get really pissed when they realize you “ain’t worth shit” you just exhumed value by being a good ‘actor”
the dumb ones take longer to figure it out before they jump on another cock , parasites jump on a fake host they can’t infect so it pisses them off
Yup its just like people who overpay for a house, some may delude themselves into thinking its still a good deal.
Sounds like the problem is you not the bar. I take girls to bars all the time and never have this problem. “If you” get her drunk? Then don’t get her drunk. If you spend more than you intended that’s your fault. If you are being cock-blocked, well man, either handle your shit or go to a different bar.
I have no problem with coffee shops other than the fact they are not romantic and not set up to promote sexual chemistry. I would only take a girl to a coffee shop if I was uncertain about her and really wanted to minimize the possibility of wasting time and money. I would consider the message that sends her.
you are correct here english bob. I tend to go restaurant bar though. Maybe it is because I am a little older, but I think a nice bar at a restaurant adds a measure of class as well as takes out the distractions like TV on, drunken idiots roaming about, etc. etc. Points if it is a place where they know you well enough to call you by your name…not buddy buddy. Hi Mr. Lolknee. Good to see you again.
Yeah taking her to a sports bar during Happy Hour around the corner from where you both work is probably not going to work out. I tend to go to cocktail lounges. Sophisticated and relaxed. Women love cocktails – they are a definite pantie loosener…
Agreed. I actually really like going to an oyster bar. There are loads of happy hours near me at really nice places where you can get 1 dollar oysters and 2 dollar shrimp and 2 for one drinks. Walk into one of these classier joints, much less crowded, much less noisy, order a half dozen oysters and half dozen shrimp and a martini, use body language while sitting at the bar and frame control and you seem leaps and bounds above a guy who might have spent the same amount of money or more heading to local happy hour spot.
Any appetizer that can be shared from one plate is good place to start. That’s part of what makes appetizer fun. Its not just cheaper than an entree. It narrows the distance to share food.
that is exactly correct. And the words “i’ve never tried an oyster before” are music to my eat. Now we are sharing a plate, I am introducing you to something new, it is hands on….def part of why raw bar is my favorite first date scene.
Honestly never saw the appeal of oysters. Slimy little things, I don’t understand how they could be considered edible aphrodisiacs.
I suppose different people like different things. I love the taste of oysters.
Have shucked your own and eaten them? Raw seafood when it’s fresh is awesome..
Yes everything is the man’s fault. That is how society has conditioned men to believe. If a woman does anything wrong it is the man’s fault because he should have done something different. Bob were you raised by a single mother? Rather than admit bars stink, its far easier to say some men are losers.
Woman don’t care about “Romance” romance is an entirely male concept. For women the sexual chemistry will have to do with whether she thinks you are hot followed by what you say and how yhou say it. And if a woman can hardly hear you in a bar or bar restaurant over the loud music, loud tv or loud background noise, good luck chuck.
Who cares what message she gets, if a girl likes you she’ll be happy wherever you go.
Your comment here points to an obvious flaw with society…one that is at the core with why many of us are here in the first place. However, be careful of making the leap from arguing against the all-too-prevalent idea that women are totally blameless (a noble pursuit) and the knee jerk response that says that in every situation the man is free of responsibility.
Men need to be hard on themselves and take responsibility for ourselves. Otherwise we are just trying the same thing that feminists did to really fuck up the world.
I’m not saying men are blameless. That is why I say avoid bars, there can be bad men who ruin your day and bad women too.
You’re really running away with this. If you open up your wallet and start spending that’s down to you not “society ” and not anyone else. Pick a quiet bar if noise is a problem for you. You have options man, use em!
Bad men? Come on man you sound like a little bitch now.
You have to pick a bar that is chill and not very crowded. Mexican restaurants with bars are perfect for margaritas and tequila, and they’re not really the kind of places swarming with cockblockers. You seem to think of nightclubs when bars are mentioned. Another trick is to take a girl to a bar around 5-7 pm before people get there. If the date is a bust you still have time for plan B, and if its a success she will be drunk by 9pm which is better than trying to close at 1am.
Getting a girl drunk increases the odds of sex exponentially, I’m not sure why you think otherwise.
Why pick a bar at all? See there is the real problem, you idiots spending money on women.
What do you call a cock block a good man?
Why would I take a girl to a bar, if a girl wants drinks, I say come to my house, my drinks are cheaper.
Drunk doesn’t increase sex in a girl who wouldn’t already fuck you, and if you really think it does you are setting yourself up for false rape accusation from a girl who will say she isn’t in to you so it must be rape. And she will explain her blackout drunkness as you spiked my drink.
You talk in extremes and that way of thinking gets in the way of success. Its very unlikely that a girl of any class or SMV (7.5+) is going to come to your house for a first date. There are hundreds of places you can take a first date, but I have the most success with classy bars and restaurants and you only need for the two of you to have 4-5 drinks. Again, if she has class she wont get blackout on a first date. Only betas get fake rape accusations from my experience and that is never a worry of mine. Im attractive and women dont regret fucking me.
hernandayoleary2 has studied lots of RP theory without the life experience ?
Yea he’s paranoid. Sounds like he’s still in the anger/frustration/confusion stage of his digestion of the red pill.
There is no middle ground here. Either the girl likes you or she doesn’t. If you have to get her drunk for her to fuck what does that tell you? You are using alcohol as a crutch for your poor game. I am trying to reveal this to posters.Stop using the crutch, start using your legs. Several posters are saying no, its easier with a crutch.
If you are encountering girls who won’t sleep with you until you drink, then you need better game. You aren’t putting them in the right frame where they want to fuck you. Does a girl need to get you drunk to fuck you? Women will throw their pussy if the man is able to convince them he is the right man. You think those teen stars have to get girls drunk to fuck them? Yet women throw their panties at them. You frame of mind is wrong.
Its not about being attractive or beta it is about getting HER to be attracted to you PERIOD. And if you’ve done it, she’ll fuck you without alcohol, so admit a bar is a waste of money. Because the first guy who busted a girl who is an 8 cherry at 15, he wasn’t getting her drunk or taking her to a bar, he just fucked her.
There is alot of middle ground. You make game sound so easy and it is not. If you arent a celebrity or pro athlete it takes work. Why do you think there are hundreds of sites like this. A girl goes on a first date with a 50/50 intention of dropping her panties. Its not like she says “this guy is hot, Im fuckin him tonight.” Attractive women in the West have a serious abundance mentality. One bad joke or beta cue and she is looking through her phone for your replacememt. Even high level men have to put in work and alcohol helps immensely. Is it necessary? No. Do you want any advantage you can get? Hell yea.
I would call him no man because he wouldn’t exist to me.
You are selecting bad women with limited interest in you an abundance mentality. THen you wonder why you need to get them drunk and end up losing them? It is pretty silly. Find girls who are interested in you and don’t have such a mentality. And the celebs and pro athletes are paying for it.
Its never an advantage to fight an uphill battle against a girl with an abundance mentality. You cannot overcome it.
I’ve been a man with abundance, to the point where I was turning down girls I was literally highly attracted to (i was the man in highschool). It just took one wrong comment for me to write a girl off, one bad joke, one off color comment, one wrong look or one wrong move. There is NOTHING a girl could do to increase my interest. Me being drunk did not increase a girls chance the slightest. In fact I’d be far less likely to even notice the girl liked me.
” If you have to get her drunk for her to fuck what does that tell you?”
I went back in time ti grade 12 and busted out the secret to women “Gin.”
“You are selecting bad women with limited interest in you an abundance mentality. THen you wonder why you need to get them drunk and end up losing them? ”
Unfortunately all the young hotties are like this.
Coffee shops are for day game (or my preference mid-to late afternoon game), where I meet, build attraction, then bounce to a nearby happy hour to being escalation, with closing the deal as my objective.
It’s effective, cheap, and quite fun if done right. Happy hours last a couple hours and are a great excuse to bounce afterward to you place or another venue. Of, if the girls a dud then give her your number in hopes that she doesn’t text you for anything but a quick bang.
Now closing the deal these days can be a handy, blow job, or something overtly sexual. Hell, sometimes a good makeout session is sufficient as I don’t always want to run the risk 35% chance of banging a herp hoe. But the first encounter’s goal sure ain’t to setup a date, as the conquerors mottos is Carpe Diem!
Coffee shops for interaction suck. The last thing I want to do with a female is participate in silly girl banter or pseudo intellectual deep conversation — especially about the the only things girls seem to know anything about: pop culture, reality TV shows, and what people are posting on Facebook.
“Coffee shops for interaction suck.”
Agreed.
Yes indeed, coffee shops for day game. Especially if she is low on your list.
I didn’t do bar first dates because my time too valuable, I usually wanted to start off with something more exciting or at least dinner, hope to close. But here’s the pointer: just because you’re doing dinner, doesn’t mean you can’t bounce. Take her someplace, in a district with lots of places, and announce when you get there, that this place is for appies, she can pick the next course.
Bingo! First date is more about how you as the “man” handle it rather than the venue. Only thing I’d watch is not go somewhere too loud with a band or whatever.
Don’t ask her where she wants to go just setup the time to pick her up and if she asks where say “It’s a surprise.”
If she’s a possible LTR material then I’d invest the money if a slut well they’re easy so not much need to invest time or money you’ll be into as soon as you want to be…
A bar is a bad place to take a date if the bar is a known meat market, where other guys are practicing pick up. You’re the man, its your privilege to choose the venue. Don’t be a dumb ass and take her to a place where she is going to get hit on by other guys. Arrive 10 minuets early before the date, get a small table with only 2 chairs. Check for conversation privacy, make sure the people at the next table can’t listen in for entertainment. Order the cheapest glass of house wine, and text her and say arrived early, already drinking wink emoticon. When you see her arrive at the door 10 minutes late make a gesture and stand up and wave and walk over to her smiling and give her a hug, tell her she looks nice, and lead her by the hand to the table you picked out. No assholes can cut in at that point.
“A bar is a bad place to take a date ”
agreed, don’t say anymore.
In Toronto, there are several male pickup artist at every bar and the thirst is so widespread you have to take your girl away from ANY bar. And why would I waste my time arriving all early doing xyz and abc, fuck that,no bitch worth that. If anything the bitch can go to the coffee shop and get me a coffee before I come and grab the seats.
You seem to be setting yourself up for a “he’s nice…. but… or I see him as more of just a friend. Enjoy being friendzoned because you indicate constantly women is better than you. You arrive early, order, do all these things in prep, text her, and then wait for her late ass, are overly emotionaly and hug her. all signs of extreme neediness and clinglyness, and no faster way to turn off a woman. Guest are you a straight woman? Because no one who has ever dated a woman would recommend this as advice because men and gay women know that is the fastest way to lose a girl.
Coffee date is only for a blind date. That’s just a meet and greet. Even if the woman paid for the coffee, then I’d be like ok would you ever want to go out on a date? It doesn’t even feel like a date. If a woman told me she’d like to go out for coffee, I’d probably down-grade her to friend-zone. I would wonder if something was wrong, or if she wasn’t really interested. Coffee doesn’t escalate, it de-esclates or increases psychological distance. Coffee is what she does with her girlfriends, her bestie. If you’re muslim or don’t like alcohol, then you do alternative strategies. Get her to smoke a hookah.
A woman goes for drinks primarily with her friends, not men. You are obviously a mangina. No good can come of spending money and time on women especially if it is at a bar.
Do you understand the difference between clubbing and going to a bar? They aren’t the same thing. They both serve alcohol but they’re different kinds of venues. Do you get that? What dialect of english do you use?
I would agree, taking a date to a dance club is something I would avoid. Clubbing is something I do to meet new people, not a place to take a date. Restaurants that also have a bar are an alternative to the noisy clubbing scene. Its more like one-on-one face time at a table for 2, or get a booth and sit side-by-side if you can. Do you have an ideological resistance to alcohol? Or do you object to spending $25 on two drinks and appetizer. Half that amount is consumed by you, so you’re only spending $12.50 on the woman. I’m not talking about getting a woman drunk, or spending a lot of money.
Inviting a woman to your home for first date and telling her to bring sandwiches is for true alphas. If you’re a celebrity / athlete who gets on TV for example, but then alphas don’t need game. Congrats if that’s you, but I doubt it.
I see what your getting at but you have to consider the type of bar, crowd, and day of the week.
There’s something really fishy about you; are you a chick, a social retard or both?
Why not just bring a few bags of peanuts, or prepare some sandwiches in a bag? It is a great way of keeping the cost at an ultimate low, and the girl will think you have real integrity and “your own style”
Never underestimate the power of the picnic.
Now, the only way I’m doing coffee shops these days is if I’m packing a flask of Irish whiskey and offering to upgrade up her bland cup of Joe to fiery Irish coffee. Of course, she’ll have to bounce with you to your place for that dallop of cream on top.
Actually you CAN spike coffee, most of your standard “date-rape drugs” are not reliant upon alcohol to work. Your date might be less likely to come up with that excuse in a coffee situation though. And women can drug men for lewd purposes also, not that I would know anything about this firsthand.
Spot on with #5 DJ. Girls eat that hand holding shit up…especially on the first date.
Understand the false rape concerns but alcohol is a timeless social lubricant, and there are next day texting counter strategies layed out on sites like this to deal with that.
I’m a great fan of first dates being as un-date like as possible for most of the reasons stated in this article, and will often line up several in a row to keep my vibe and investment even more casual.
In my experience there’s nothing worse than being stuck with a bitch over a meal you paid for on a so called ‘date’. A minimal investment is just prudent strategy in such flaky and shallow times. And the bottom line these days is that most western women just don’t fuckin’ deserve a lavish date.
I learned this to my extreme dismay. I went all out on this girl (who worked on me for a year while I was with someone else, telling me how handsome I was, how she’d love to date me, etc.) who was, in my view, a 10. I planned the date to end all date (and essentially that’s what it did). Took her to an art gallery first (which she loved), took her to an amazing restaurant, and halfway through dinner she said she wanted to go home!
My jaw dropped so hard it split the hard wood table. I could not believe what I was hearing. She said she was tired because she went out drinking the night before. And then she added insult to injury by saying I was only mad because I couldn’t get my own way and besides she didn’t ask me to spend all this money on her.
She was pure Dark Triad.
This changed my whole view on women and so now, no woman gets that treatment. This was a second date btw.
Totally sucks! I would have probably acted the same way; getting mad. Now what guys like us should do is:
1. Be totally cool about it. No matter how pissed off you are, count to 10. Maintain control.
2. Lie your ass off and tell her you completely understand.
3. Politely ask if you both can at least finish your meal.
4. Order the most expensive item on the menu, bottle of wine, rich desert. Don’t worry, she’ll be paying for it.
5. Excuse yourself and go to the toilet/make phone call to cab company and give her name to be picked up at said restaurant.
6. Sneak out to your car, hopefully she left her purse there. Go through it and take drivers license, credit cards, cash, jewelry, keys etc..
7. Leave her purse with the maitre d’. “It was that scumbag who stole all your valuables, not me!”
8. Leave her with the check/tab and no way to pay it.
9. Drive as fast as you can to her place and squirt super glue in the door locks of apt./auto.
10. Find organizations/support groups for people who have some really funky sexual disease. Ask for more information to be mailed to you and give her name and address. Preferably a work address.
11. ??? Help me out here guys. What next???
I remember reading an article here on ROK not too long ago which advised against passive aggressive behavior. What do you guys think? Take it like a man/pussy? or Fight Back!?!
Brilliant.
I did briefly consider “going to the bathroom” and not coming back.
But the main thing is lessons learned. I never again went all out on a bitch. And now its coffee or drinks max.
You’ve put way too much thought into this for it to come off as a casual comment.
The scary thing is it IS a casual comment. Shit pops into my head. I put about as much thought into that comment as I do when I look at the menu at the local diner.
All good points, simple to execute, and effective (as field-tested by me numerous times in the past).
1) Show her your american express black card –> “once you go black you never go back”
JOB DONE.
The worst thing when dating is when you’re in public and the woman starts bitching and all people around you can see that she’s giving you some preach. I’ve had that happening to me once, when I was like 23 and didn’t know better. And the next time that ever happens in my life, I stand up and walk away! Also dated a girl that had more interest in her phone than me. Next time a woman I’m dating starts texting, I’m out!
Take her on a hike. If you play it right you will have her topless on the mountain top in no time. I took my, now wife, on a hike for our first date – it worked out great!
I like offering an arm while walking as opposed to holding hands. Doesn’t seem as intimate, but she is actually closer to you.
I agree with you Gundog. Hand holding in general kind of creeps me out. Politely offering an arm achieves the same or better results and seperates you from the hordes of unwashed, uncouth morons she usually is sucking on for drinks.
Offering the arm for her to follow has been a godsend for me. It establishes you as a leader, yet doesn’t quite give the creep effect if she is still hesitant about you.
When you go for the venue change, simply stand, make a suggestion for this other exciting place she should check out, and throw our your elbow for her to hook onto. If she doesn’t let go the entire way there, it’s all on you to not fuck it up from there.
Remember location, location, location. I use the same neighborhood bar every time and have a mutual understanding with the bartender to always bag his “assist” in exchange for a few extra bucks. The assist usually entails 1) slightly strong pours meaning more lubricant then might be anticipated, 2) a shot “on the house” on cue (I pay him later), 3) some interesting conversation involving a third person that isn’t awkward. If things are going well after an hour, it is a bounce to my place just down the street.
I would say after conducting a non-scientific estimate, my first dates are 20-25% more successful then before adopting the new first date method.
lol… sounds like a pro.
”And a big one: after getting one round, make the move to another bar.”
Is this really a thing?
Absolutely! Changing venues keeps the date fun and exciting. Plus, if she really does see something happening, a venue change often feels like an adventure to her, which equals gina tingles!
What kind of amateur pleb wrote this article? It’s all about calling her m’lady and turning her on by rubbing your scruff all over her face.
Spot on, Fedorus! And don’t forget to regale her with tales of how you always win the puzzles contests at Mensa gatherings! She will beg you to take her roughly from behind while spanking her ass and pulling her hair after she hears that!
Eyo Jefe,
I get it, the importance of treating the 1st date. That’s what all the gym, clothes, self-confidence & image are all about. Play the game well on the 1st date and you are granted instant access to the pussy. Simple as that ! Play the game well along the relationship and she’ll always give in. Slip up once and you are fucked. But ain’t really bad news. A woman is as valuable as her offerings: she gives great sex, Bj, cooks and follows commands? GOOD, if not…NEXT.
Appreciaton !
This article is spot on. Previous articles about this subject were too aggressive for timid guys looking for advice. I’ve always been a fan of going to places that you can hop around in. Take Punch Bowl for instance. You can start the date by bowling. Any sort of friendly competition will warm her up easier than Q&A off the bat. From there, you can hop over to the bar for a drink and the Q&A round. Usually trendy places like Punch Bowl are close to other bars so this allows you to make the voyage to at least one most spot. This whole first date should take 2-4 hours depending on how long you milk it, and it allows a girl enough time and activity to warm up to a complete stranger to the point that sealing a first kiss is easy.
One thing your site is lacking is advice on woman who do not drink. (Or… Women who do not drink outside private events calling for celebration such as holidays.)
If she doesn’t drink or falls into a category that the bar is not her place of comfort, inviting her to the bar will almost always void the chance of continuing the interaction, whether the end game is sex or a relationship.
There should be a second article written on sealing a first date with a woman who does not drink and shows nilch interest in meeting at a bar. Since, you know, the first two steps of this article will fail.
The chances of sealing the deal on a first date with a woman who doesn’t drink are pretty low. I’ve only known one or two girls who didn’t drink, and they also didn’t sleep around.
You would have to substitute the bar for a coffee shop. Many are open late so you can run the same game there.
Ice cream shop then? Hookah lounge?
Move to another bar? This only works if you’re in a party district with several bars in close proximity that you can walk to. If you’re at a more low key place that requires you to drive to another bar, this is very bad advice. If you were building attraction, it all goes out the window on that car drive to another bar. She has time to think at that point, and once she starts (over)thinking, you’re done. Plus she has time to check her text messages from girlfriends, ex boyfriends, beta orbiters, etc.
***To specify, I’m mainly talking about when you drive separately. Even if you did pick her up, though, she still has time to look at her cell phone on the ride to a new location. Just one text from an ex can sabotage your entire night.
Most PUA articles are written from a city boy perspective. Just adapt and adjust, as you make note of.
I agree, if the bar is more then 5 min walk don’t change venues unless maybe you try and kiss her on the walk, sometimes this works because they’re not all self conscious of kissing in the bar.
But yes changing venues gives them a chance to check their phone and things can go down hill once shes shes texts from her friends or other dudes she’s fucking.
If I can add two honorable mentions:
1. Going in like you don’t care if you get laid or not, is very effective as well. It radiates abundance, and women love this from men.
2. Be charming to her-and every female you encounter on the date [waitress, uber driver, etc] and make sure she sees it. Women often times assess the value of their man based off what other women think.
Women care about what other women think because that is a giveaway to the status of that man.
Perfect additions. Not caring is paramount. And if you want maximum social proof, go someplace where you already know everybody OR where you have an outstanding skill that shines. I go to karaoke because I actually have a trained voice, by the second hour I’m there, on a busy night, I no longer have to buy my own drinks and women are openly coming up and hitting on me in not so subtle ways. That impresses the living shit out of girls.
Ghost-I never took you for a crooner. What type of music do you usually sing at karaoke?
Holding hands is considered aggressive? Not knocking the article, but I’d never genuinely thought it to be seen as such.
Changing venue doesn’t have to mean going to a new location. I go to a place, for example, that has both a bar and restaurant in its main level, with the upper level having another bar, karaoke, and pool tables. We start in the main level bar lounge. Order drinks, if that goes well, we order food. If she doesn’t drink we just get food. If that goes well I take her upstairs to play pool.
If they aren’t very good at pool I of course don’t try too hard so as to keep them interested in the game, once in awhile I’ll run a couple trick shots just to get some balls out of the way, but never enough to discourage them from playing anymore. Then I’ll back off again so she has a chance to catch up.
The pool playing generally leads to back and forth teasing, and some light touching like playful ass grabbery and kissing. I don’t view any of that as aggressive but more of a natural order of progression. If both you and her are into each other all of this should progress naturally. But yes as a man you need to take lead of course. You cannot be afraid to initiate a little play. It’ll be obvious if she is cold to it or reciprocal.
Holding hands is considered “sensual behavior” and therefore forbidden at my college. IDK if you can actually get expelled for it, but I do know people who have gotten expelled for kissing.
The sexual tension there must be intense.
I always pick a joint with a pool table. It’s fun for both parties, and there is always an opportunity for touching and teasing. In the majority of my pool dates, we never even finished the game, as we were too eager to get back to my place for “Netflix”.
Are you paying for this food? LOL
Some tweaks: #3 – I would not do this in most cases. Better to select the right venue and learn to be a professional entertainer who keeps the conversation flowing at every lull or awkward moment when a less experienced beta would drop the ball. Also, you should have a sense after one or two drinks whether this is porn on the first date at your place or not … and if the latter, better to keep the date brief to maintain the upper hand. There are exceptions such as dating out of town where you may not know the right places but use Yelp for this and it’s hard to go terribly wrong.
#5 – I would generally avoid this in tinsletowns (read: Whore cities) and with very hot women 8-10s. Romantic women in rural areas may appreciate a handhold but in cities, 20 somethings are often incorrigible sluts who are committophobes, who don’t want to be seen ‘locked down’ with anyone and are not looking for romance from you. Most have been stalked or dealt with very clingy beta guys. A firm arm around the waist and even slightly inside their pants waist is the better way to go here as it confers alpha dominance and sexual experience.
improvisation is the heart of field work however, and there is no one set of techniques that are right for every situation. In the end there is no substitute for dating many women and learning who you are attracted to and what demographics of women respond best to you.
Numbers 1, 2 and 5 are banned at the school I’m going to this year, anyone have any tips for dating at a super-conservative Christian college?
Take it off campus. Sure, approach for the date while between classes, but the actual date should take place in local bars and venues around the college.
We actually are forbidden from going to bars too, or any restaurant that “has a bar or tavern-like atmosphere”. We used to not be allowed to go to any place that serves alcohol (including the Red Lobster steps away from campus, which is where I think I would take a “serious date” if I were a guy), but they’ve loosened up a bit in recent years, so who knows, school-sanctioned hand-holding could be next.
You also technically are not supposed to drink or have physical contact with the opposite sex off-campus either, but of course then it is a matter of whether you can avoid getting caught. Interesting tidbit from a school Facebook group: “Overseen: Public safety catching a guy and girl behind [girl’s dorm, the one I’ll be in actually] in a car alone… Car chase in pursuit…literally.” Comments: “Maybe they were just talking after a date before she got out and went inside like normal couples would do? If they had a car I would hope they would at least take it off campus to do anything else if they were doing that…”
“If they have a car why are they still on campus if they’re gonna do something stupid? Lol”
So I gather off-campus shenanigans do occur.
Pray that you meet a traditional Christian woman and keep yourself for marriage while developing your masculinity and studying hard.
If you don’t believe that sex should only be within marriage, you shouldn’t be at that college.
Develop insane levels of Game by being masculine, aloof and unavailable.
Better than asking questions even is making educated guesses(cold reading). Rather than “What was high school like?” ” I bet you were a big nerd in school but came out of your shell in college(good to throw some teasing in there).” And remember sometimes even by insisting you end up having her prove you right or you end up calling her bluff. I remember once calling one of my brothers facebook friends a bunny boiler, after much protestation on her part and white knighting by my brother I stood my ground and she admitted she had once gone to the wedding of an ex uninvited(yikes! Double bunny boiler). If you are dead right about a couple of things, you can actually see the gina tingles. If they ask you how you knew of course never tell- a magician never reveals his tricks.
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