What To Do If You’re Accused Of Sexual Harassment At Work

A man is beholden to the circles within which he moves. We are all obligated to obey the laws of our societies, and we are sometimes bound by additional rules of groups within society as well. Whether that be your social organization, your school, or your place of work, behavior within the law, but outside the code of these places, can get you into serious trouble.

Sexual harassment is one of those acts, and today we’ll talk about what you can do and should do if you are accused of sexual harassment at work.

Sexual harassment is defined as:

Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature when:

  • Submission to such conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or condition of an individual’s employment, or
  • Submission to or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as a basis for employment decisions affecting such individual, or
  • Such conduct has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual’s work performance or creating an intimidating, hostile, or offensive working environment.

There’s a list of some 56 different things that can be defined as sexual harassment, and we could spend the entire article talking about what is, and what is not, sexual harassment, but a working red pill definition is “anything that is unwelcome to someone based on sexuality.” The key word is “unwelcome;” in order for sexual harassment to actually be illegal, it has to either create a “hostile work environment” or result in something adverse happening to the victim, like being demoted or fired.

Neither of these conditions are cut and dried. Your employer, having received a complaint from a woman against you, might not wait for a court of law to determine that a hostile work environment exists because of your actions and may just fire you out of hand, especially if you are in a US “right to work” state (where you can be fired for any reason at any time.)

Similarly, adversity to an employee is also not always strictly defined; I just got demoted and a female co-worker promoted in our company’s reorganization into the spot I should have had, but I have no recourse, being a man, as it doesn’t fit the narrative for a man to be a victim of corporate discrimination over sex.

Now that we have as precise of a handle on what it is, let’s make a plan for dealing with an accusation of sexual harassment.

Decide if you want to keep your job

The first thing you have to decide is whether or not you want to keep your job. With many corporations being required to only say “Yes, he worked here from X to Y” because they are so scared of lawsuits, getting fired for sexual harassment may have no different effect from being laid off, because your references won’t be able to say anything differently. The upshot of this is to decide how happy you are with your job, and how acceptable the idea of changing jobs is to you then and there.

I see three situations. You can give not one single rat’s ass if you keep your job or not; you can view keeping your job as essential, or you can take it or leave it depending on the outcome of this harassment complaint. This is the first point in determining your strategy.

Were there witnesses?

Sexual harassment is often punished without proof. It is literally “he said; she said” a lot of the time. If there is no evidence (like emails or texts) or if there are no witnesses; it’s going to be a lot easier to cast doubt on if anything at all actually happened  than if someone witnessed it and is backing the complainant up, or if she’s whipping out the dick pic you texted her work phone.  Evidence and witnesses are going to be the second point in your strategy.

Did anyone hear you say this?

So far, I have yet to hear of much cyber-framing going on with people doctoring up emails and the like to turn you in. This is, incidentally, the biggest reason to lock your damn computer whenever you get up from it, it’s very easy to send an email from your account, from your computer, that will ruin your career before you can get back from taking a piss.

The main problem is going to be false witnesses. If you’re being set up for the fall, if whoever saw it go down is a friend of the complainant, she’ll say whatever the two of them cook up together and you will now have to fight them both.

Can it be explained away?

That same co-worker I mentioned above has a torture survivor’s flinch to being touched. She’s yelled at me before for tapping her on the arm when I’m trying to get her attention in a meeting on the floor because I need something, after calling her name multiple times. While I have done the safe thing and already relayed this behavior to my manager just in case she pulls anything in the future, my point in this example is that tapping someone on the shoulder is not sexual harassment and can be explained away by showing that this is behavior commonly accepted in society and that she’s neurotic.

There’s a difference for being taken to task for slapping a chick on the ass versus asking her out on a date and causing her to be offended by your temerity. What actually went down is the third point in your strategy.

The plan

Chances are, the first you’ll learn of this is at a meeting where they will haul you in and shock you with the fact that you are being investigated for sexual harassment. Harassment is one of those odd things that is illegal only if proven to cause all that stuff written at the start of the article, so it isn’t illegal before it is proven by court. However, it is also one of the only not-explicitly illegal acts that can get you immediately fired. Most big companies have some sort of “penalty volcano” with escalating punishments for repeated infractions, but sexual harassment can be a one-and-done sort of thing.

First thing you must do is shut up, do not say anything that will incriminate you. You, unfortunately, do not yet have the right to remain silent, but you do have the right to control what you say. If the HR people say “It was said you touched her intimately,” you do not say “I touched her on the shoulder,” because they will then bust you for touching her at all. Instead, just deny whatever is said; “I did not touch her intimately.” Don’t admit to anything, every sentence should be “I did not do X.”

Second thing is lawyer up with an employment lawyer. Ask to stop the meeting so that you can arrange representation. If they claim you will not need a lawyer and it can be handled internally and will not let you go get one, sit through the rest of the meeting then go get one that day anyway.

Follow your lawyer’s advice; it could well be that, by getting a lawyer, your company will back off and try to make it all go away. In that event, the lawyer may get your HR department to give you a letter stating that you are under no investigation for this alleged incident by threatening a defamation lawsuit.

Lawyering up is not going to win you any friends in HR, which is why many people are against it. However, if you got accused of sexual harassment and they’re serious about it, you don’t have any friends there anyway, and you may be money ahead by getting legal help before you get fired, as opposed to afterward. Everything from suits for defamation of character to monetary compensation for damages from being fired, as well as forcing your rehire is on the table.

Third thing is to write everything down as it happens, and as you remember it from previous events. This information is for you and your lawyer, not HR.

Variations on a theme

How much you want to keep the job is a factor in how brash you want to be. On one extreme, there’s the “Oh, yeah? You can’t fire me, I quit!” and, provided you get those words out of your mouth before they actually fire you, you technically resigned before getting sacked.

You could take the approach of the line in the sand; if they cross it and insult your dignity, you’re out. I’ve gone to a meeting with a resignation letter before; I didn’t use it, but it was there.

However, if you really want to keep your job, your best bet is to get out of the initial accusation meeting as soon as you can, without saying anything that can incriminate you, and get an employment lawyer immediately.

If there is a witness, or if you are uncertain that there is a witness or not, be doubly careful. Confirm things that are part of your job, only. “Did you meet with her?” deserves an answer. “Did you arrange the meeting?” is leading, and only deserves a “I met with her” response.

I would save the explaining away for later. You can always back off, but sex harassment is serious business, and an accusation of it, even for something innocuous, is something for you to go straight to the carpet with them on. It is not for you to say to them “a reasonable person would not consider a tap on the shoulder to be sexual harassment;” that line is your lawyer’s.

Conclusion

Say as little as possible, get out of there, lawyer up. The best outcome is that your employer backs off, and a letter is put in your file that anything you even remotely could construe as retaliation against you in the future would result in litigation against the company and they then leave you alone for the rest of your career. Companies never do what is right; they do what is easiest. You want to make it so that the easiest thing for them to do is leave you alone.

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Read More: How Human Resources Departments Are Ruining STEM Jobs For Men

141 thoughts on “What To Do If You’re Accused Of Sexual Harassment At Work”

  1. Do not forget the first rule of dealing with the SJW attack mob: accept that you’re probably going to lose your job.
    And the second key is like it: never, under any circumstances, do you apologize.
    It is a very real possibility that nothing you do will help you keep your job. You will fight it, you will bring forth witnesses, and you might go to court, but if the climate of your company is against you you could still lose. Accepting that possibility early makes everything else a bit easier.
    In addition, if there is no case they might ask you to apologize. If you do, it will be seen as a confession of guilt, and they might fire you for that. Remember Matt Taylor.
    If this happens to you, seriously consider whether this company is worth fighting for. Fight for your honor, but start looking for someplace else.

      1. Milo is a product of Social Justice. 50 years ago we would be interned in a mental institution.

        1. 50 years ago, we wouldn’t have to have these concerns and could go fucking on with our lives.

    1. Amen to this. Always keep frame and never, ever, apologise. I have never apologised for anything and have stated unequivocally I would sooner commit seppuku before even entertaining the thought of being a snivelling, pathetic little wretch.

  2. I harassed a girl at work alright. She was pretty pissed at me afterwards and I kinda caved in. Nevertheless, I wasn’t afraid of losing the job, because they needed me too much. I wonder if I had acted differently otherwise. Putting on a mask to please some pussy-sucking sycophants … ugh.

    1. This. Youre only at risk if youre not much of an asset to the company anyway.
      Its only sexual harassment if the guy’s smv is too low in the first place.

      1. It’s only sexual harassment if the complaint filer has something to gain by filing the complaint.

        1. I did not mean it in that way. I meant that nobody has this kind of godlike brilliance. It’s a bit like L in Death Note. That kind of intellect just ain’t real.

        2. House was inspired by the Sherlock Holmes books. They almost stole the names too. Holmes – House, Watson – Wilson. Imagine a verbal argument between House and Holmes. Now that’s something that nobody can do.

        3. I never watched House because with Sherlock it is set in a time I can’t relate with, so his brilliance and its effect on his surrounding peoples and situations is more entertaining and slightly more believable. House was just annoying to me.

        4. I loved House. I am always kinda put off by shows that play in the past, I dunno why. I just get annoyed when there are no smartphones and computers around!~

        5. I can accept Miller and even RDJ as a modern Sherlock but Benedict Cumberbatch doesn’t seem “human” in his portrayal.
          To borrow a quote, Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes seems like Star Trek’s Commander Data pretending to be Holmes on the holodeck.

        6. I miss that series. But some of those female doctors really got on my nerves. Especially in the later seasons. That small asian and the character played by Amber Tamblyn were simply intolerable.

        7. Hahaha we are so opposite its just comical. Well, I guess we cant learn much from those who are the same as we are right?

  3. Understand that women often abandon historical context for previous actions. What I mean by this, is that you could have a humorous, sexual conversation with a female employee that was welcome at the time. She will be smiling and yucking it up. Encouraging you to engage in boorish behavior.
    But six months from now when she decides she hates you or it works to her advantage in employment, she will report you and perceive events outside of the historical context and her welcomeness to the particular interaction, instead focusing on the bare facts, “he told me he liked doggystyle.” “He told me I had a great ass.” Anything you say or do, regardless of how it is perceived at the time, is subject to be reinterpreted into whatever evil context that suits the purposes of the accuser. Many of these accusers, I believe don’t consider it a form of lying (misrepresentation) because you did say it after all. It’s the same way with being under oath and saying, “I don’t remember” or “I don’t know”, when the person actually does. It’s still lying, but this is beyond the grasp of many such female accusers.

    1. This is a very important point in two ways: the first, a woman will go along with whatever is happening in a group, and then later (hours, days, weeks) decide it was sexual harassment. Even if she was talking or acting 10 times worse than you, she will hamster it up as part of the harassment — she felt she *had* to act like that or else she would suffer consequences, etc.
      The other point is this: the fickle nature of women. A woman who is into you will invite and encourage you to engage in a variety of sexually-charged behaviors at work to feed the drama vampire nails in her head. But a day, a week, a year later and things can change… maybe you’re SMV changes, maybe hers does. Maybe she perceives some advantage in taking you down. Maybe her hamster just wakes up on the wrong side of the cage, whatever.
      Next thing you know, each little thing you did is being pulled out and reframed in the worst possible light to paint you as a complete and total creepy perv. The fact that she was into it at the time no longer matters, and if you even suggest “she liked it” as a defense, you’re pouring cement into your own coffin.

      1. <<hp.. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!il659r:….,…..

    2. This happened to a few guys I used to work with involving the same girl, and the company still didn’t fire her, even once they caught onto her bullshit (probably because she threatened to sue). She was flirty, wore tight skirts and low cut blouses, and had sexually charged conversations with her male coworkers. Then she would flip a switch and claim harassment. The guys were often blindsided, because just a couple of days earlier, she was making sexual jokes and flirting with them.
      Luckily for the men, our company had multiple locations. Not a single one was fired or had sexual harassment put into their file. They were just removed from that location and placed in another. I’m pretty certain she still works there, but she has a reputation, and most of the men avoid her at all costs.

    3. This happened to me. I had a conversation about hunting rifles, not about hunting, or guts, or meat, or blood, just about hunting rifles. It was with an Army vet too.
      A lady in the room asks us to stop because she’s triggered. So I said sure. And we stopped.
      Several months later she writes up this complaint that I was talking about violence in the workplace and refused to stop. She even got the Army fag to sign it.
      Old hag.

      1. Hopefully the stupid old bag gets colorectal cancer and rots from the inside for your entertainment.

    4. Moral of the story is never make ‘friends’ with them-do your work and if you do get accused of ‘sexual harassment’ one fantastic defence is to smile and say ‘Surely you jest-you, my dear, are very unattractive and I would not lower myself to engaging with you on that level let alone any other; evidently you must think me attractive for having to confect such an outlandish accusation.’

        1. Well, the former is feasible, the latter not so because they can turn on you when it suits them or their hive mind compels it.

        2. I work in the latter. By practically male I mean you feel absolutely no urge to speak to them in anything other than a professional manner.

        3. Why do you think I like finance?
          Good tip for finding a male dominated environment: the type of chick that makes a false accusation are allergic to two things. Physical labor, and math. Either one of those things are ones that you can’t really bullshit around doing.
          Note: finance is full of bullshit……but it still doesn’t have women because in spite of that you still need to be good at doing complex mathematical analysis and your methods need to be sound. Hence few women.

  4. Men, do not think it is a good idea to sue your company because in most cases it is not. You may be an outstanding employee for years but the day you go to the EEOC then as far as your company is concerned, you’re finished. If you have a good case you might be able to keep your job for that four month period they agreed before the EEOC to climb off you, but when that four month grace period is up it is open season on you. I did it because I set myself up financially before taking early retirement, then I complained to the EEOC that my female supervisor was sexually harassing me against the company’s own policies.

      1. That’s when the fun began! I was the only male in my department and survived 16 years of their games, double standards and attempts at sexual harassment charges. They also resented my pretty young Thai wife who started a successful jewelry business that I help manage. The heat was on me for the last 2 years so I made copies of their sexually explicit cartoons they had on the bulletin board. Since my female supervisor was leading the charge against me, I told the EEOC that I didn’t like being alone with her in her office “because she batted her eyes flirtatiously with me, would laugh at one of her jokes as an excuse to touch my left upper bicep with her right hand as we were sitting and facing each other (ALWAYS SAY WHERE AND WHICH SIDE YOU WERE TOUCHED!) and touched my left knee with her right hand.” Remember this gem too: “It was enough to make the hair on the back of my neck tingle.” These are key words to the company attorney who will then question her. Did this actually happen to me in her office? Well let’s see, how did that “suppressed memory” excuse go again? Yes, yes, it’s all coming back to me now, that bitch is guilty!
        The last I heard after agreeing to retire in lieu of termination was that she was given a “lateral promotion” to a company satellite miles out of her way under unfavorable work conditions here most of them quit after 3 months.

        1. Sage advice my friend. I would only add that the man should come out swinging if he is ever falsely accused.
          ***
          Hire an attorney so nasty that even you don’t like to be in the room with him, then get out of his way and enjoy the splendid carnage he will make of the liar’s life.

        2. Yes! We also know that the HR girls love gossip and every time she walks in they give each other snickering grins and are quiet around her because she’s the latest company joke with egg on her face!

        1. She gets paid to sell anti-aging cosmetics on tv to old ladies now. But talking about will get you in trouble at work with a female who didn’t get promoted last year.

        2. She’s just mad her ass doesn’t look as soft and firm as it did in that famed Rolling Stone shoot and now she’s being displaced by younger startlets.
          Lucky for me, the only place I’ve worked with women is in the military, and it was flightline work, so they weren’t that many.

        3. We should, assuming they do show some intellect in the first place. But I just don’t see it with modern actresses, or women, for that matter. Or maybe showing intellect is modern doublespeak for showing booty. After all, one thing I learned from Christina Aguilera is, apparently, the sluttier a woman dresses, the more mature she is. Still can’t comprehend it. Then again, I’m just an ignorant tradesman with no sociology degree in my hands, so what do I know?

  5. Rule #1: Don’t shit where you eat. A legitimate SHC should never factor into the equation.
    Now false complaints, that’s different…

    1. Funny, but that’s an accurate description of how most women look, except for the occasional Skrillex cut.

  6. There is a lot of bad advice in here. I have lots of experience doing human resources over the years and have even had to conduct several sexual harassment investigations (most were awkward co-workers not getting a clue and making multiple requests for dates, etc.)
    If you are accused of sexual harassment, you do not need a lawyer unless you are some sort of executive or you are being subjected to blatant libel/slander.
    At the meeting where you are given notice ask for everything in writing. Also, if you work closely with the person accusing you ask to be assigned a different work location, work from home, or request paid leave while the investigation is ongoing. Don’t make any statements about facts and circumstances at this meeting.
    Once you get out of the meeting immediately pdf any emails or other evidence you might have on your work computer. There is no telling if/when IT may lock you out
    While the investigation is ongoing (in my experience usually about 2-3 days) do NOT make any attempts to contact anyone who is a witness or the accuser. Keep your mouth shut and stay away from the office if possible. If you have to communicate with anyone do it via email if at all possible.
    When HR comes for your side of the story present it cool and collectively. If you actually did it you should probably think about owning up to it, offer your resignation, and ask for a confidentiality agreement. Even if you are a crafty liar or there isn’t a ton of evidence either way, just being accused has effectively poisoned the well. Your employment is basically done even if you could slip out of it.
    If you didn’t do it or the accusation is BS then make your case the best you can given evidence, facts, etc. If it is a false accusation remind your employer that they have an obligation to follow up with appropriate disciplinary action if the evidence shows it was completely fabricated.
    Either way, especially as a man, you are pretty screwed if you are accused of sexual harassment. Even if you are completely vindicated you are still going to be known as a harasser. Unless you have a big stake in your employment at that company you should think about leaving either way. Companies tend to want these problems to go away too. You can use that to your advantage in trying to negotiate an exit package. Most are happy to cut you a check for a few months of severance and a confidentiality agreement to not have to both with ongoing drama between two co-workers. It sucks that this is reality but at least you get the consolation prize of a few paid months off between jobs.

    1. You leave, the accuser stays?
      You don’t need a lawyer? Said no lawyer ever.
      Your advice is a template for getting screwed over by fat HR cunts.

      1. Yes reality is if you are a man and accused you have to go. That is reality. It is nasty and wrong. But it is reality. You just have to manage your exit accordingly.
        You can get a lawyer if you like. You can also throw good money after bad. Unless you are an exec or have some special interest in employment you really don’t need one.
        And, yes, it is a template for getting screwed over by HR because 99% of the time that is what is going to happen to you as a man.

        1. It’s not just men. Any woman standing up to HR cunts also gets the boot. I could write a book. I truly regret not talking to an attorney.

        2. You can talk with an attorney if you like. Most will at least give you a consult on their dime. But in most administrative sexual harassment cases it is just throwing good money down the drain. If you are being subjected to libel/slander through the vehicle of a sexual harassment accusation that is one thing, but absent this or another special circumstance all the attorney is going to do is charge you a hefty hourly rate.

  7. In regards to this workplace subject. In Britain the government is about to put through legislation which will require all companies to publish their pay stats for men and women. We obviously know the pay gap is absolute bullshit and due to choices but now companies will have an incentive to actively promote women over men for less time work in order to make their stats look better…. I mention this to anyone thinking about coming to work in Britain in the future.

    1. And you Brits thought the Brexit was the key back to the lost freedom you once had. How naive. Yeah I know off topic but since the Brexit your madmen in charge have got a penchant for tightening the screws it seems.

  8. There needs to be national monitoring and statistics of workplace complaints (and legal complaints) by sex. Feminism and the feminist society we live in is currently allowed to proceed as though an a complaint, an allegation (of whatever nature, lodged by a woman against a man) reflects systematic harassment, a patriarchal power-structure. That should be increasingly difficult to sustain particularly as women increasingly occupy positions of power and influence in companies. The fact is women complain routinely and by nature, and the fact that feminism sublimates this towards political goals and through the distorting lens of imagined patriarchy, is disguising the fact that female complaints, nagging, and generalised confabulation is a form of aggression in its own right, very often with hugely destructive affects for those (both men and women) on the receiving end. Companies (and wider social institutions) should log complaints by sex and nature, but without the assumption incidence reflects substance. At present police treat complaints almost as though they were crimes, and this is a reflection of the victim culture, which is also a complainant culture, that we currently live in. That culture is now clearly a structure of power, and of redirection of resources in its own right and careful analysis needs to be done as to how it works, and how the systems in place encourage what has slowly become a form of systemic abuse of victim privilege.
    Nothing is going to change until serial complainers lose credibility with each complaint they make, until the social dynamics of complaint and the aggressive nature of this activity are themselves included in HR harassment policies.

    1. About 17% of sexual harassment charges are filed by males. About 50% of all SH charges are found to have no reasonable cause. The cost of one case is a minimum of 3,000, but I know an EEO officer that says can be 130,000. Settlements and awards can also run in the hundreds of thousands, people found innocent are often paid thousands to leave their job.
      https://www.eeoc.gov/eeoc/statistics/enforcement/index.cfm
      Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (ADA) Charges
      Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) Charges
      Color-Based Charges
      Equal Pay Act Charges
      Genetic Information Non-Discrimination Act (GINA) Charges
      Harassment Charges
      All Charges Alleging Harassment
      Charges Alleging Sexual Harassment
      Charges Alleging Harassment other than Sexual Harassment
      Charges Alleging Race and Harassment
      National Origin-Based Charges
      Pregnancy Discrimination Charges
      Race-Based Charges
      Religion-Based Charges
      Retaliation-Based Charges
      Sex-Based Charges
      Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 Charges
      Litigation Statistics

      1. good work. Stuff like this could be very useful. It’s good to know how much money this stuff costs. I’m sure those settlements must costs companies hundreds of millions all told

        1. The amount of money individual companies, and the overall nation pays- to pretend that women are equal to men is vast, vast, vast.

        2. It would be interesting to see a cost-benefit analysis. We are always told about the economic benefits of “equality” but litigation / fear of litigation, compensation, harassment suits, and all the enormous re-structuring that goes with it together with the loss of productivity a climate of fear can produce must be a real burden.

        3. This is why I think Trump is red pill. He knows how much it costs to pretend women are equal, and how much it costs to force everyone to pretend.

      2. …and if you plan to sue your employer over any of the above I hope you have an experienced attorney because without proof (you can forget about your fellow employees being a witness for you, they will side with the company to keep their jobs) then the company attorney may easily get your case dismissed on its entirety. To the company it is simply the cost of doing business.

      3. These categories, and EEOC existence, is all to benefit non-white, non-male, non-Christian, non-Conservative classes.

        1. My workplace actually has a Caucasian/male diversity representative. This is not an EEO function, but better than nothing. Whites males are a minority where I work.

        2. I’ve wondered if something like that would ever happen. I always speculated it never would because it would be “racist”. That’s interesting.

  9. I would add another angle here, on top of the suggestions made in this well-written article. If it’s a false claim, I say confront the accuser directly. And use this two-tiered plan. Tell her you’ve gone up against tougher liars than her, and if she doesn’t drop the claim and tell the boss the whole truth about it – namely, that she made the whole thing up – you’ll drag the entire affair directly into the light of day and into a court of law. And after your lawyers are done sifting through the countless made-up stories and accusations of a similar vein, that she has undoubtedly made in the past, and after they interview all the women who obviously hate her and are eager to see her fall on her face, because they know exactly what a liar she really is, she’ll wish she hadn’t made up the false accusation. But that probably won’t stop her. However, it lays the groundwork for the next phase.
    If she continues, and you get fired, sue the lying cunt and sue the company that relied on the veracity of her bullshit complaint. A good lawyer will be able to dig up tons of dirt on the lying slag – no problem. He’ll also probably be able to dig up numerous examples of heavy-handed discrimination and wrongful terminations of a similar vein, by the company in question. Which gives you a great shot in court, not to mention a good chance at a serious payday…
    Women have a tendency to fold up like accordions in the face of such head-on tactics. I always start a new relationship off by telling the woman that I have no rules, except one. If she ever brings trouble to my door, I will teach her the waking, screaming definition of the word. That does the trick. Then, down the road a ways, I’ll throw in a couple of stories about Mob connections, to reinforce the concept. Even if you don’t have such connections, you can use this two-pronged tactic to effectively hamstring any woman on the spot, which will prevent them from pulling their usual cunt stunts.
    It just takes balls and brains. Women are little children, in the end. So treat them as such. Lay out the rules. They need boundaries or they will test you – and possibly, destroy you. Make it clear that you will rain holy terror down on their asses if they ever try to bring trouble to your door. Checkmate. They want their daddies. They want a man who won’t take shit. So give it to them. It will make them cream in their panties over your undeniable, alpha-male dominance…

  10. How work should be done: Show up at work, do your work well, talk to as little people as possible and then only about work, and go home. If your office has a door utilize it to its fullest potential. Coworkers are not your friends. They can take 7.5 hours out of my life every day, but I’ll be damned if they are going to make me care about it or them.

    1. 100% right. I don’t even work in the same town as I live- that’s another rule.
      Granted, I work with 100’s of gals-mgr here; ..some very nice but you just don’t and if your messing with the help your asking for it.

      1. Oh yeah, that’s a great point. Nothing is worse than small towns. It amazes me that people actually go out for drinks, etc. after work with coworkers. What type of masochist extends his day like that? The work bell rings and I immediately head home to the wife and dogs (and then usually take the dogs on a nice long walk without the wife).

        1. Agree.–I don’t want to know these people. I work 8 hours and that’s more than a hell of enough….If I have to go to a holiday party its about the meal and the free drinks- and I keep it short as well as go stag. I don’t let anyone know anything about me. No missteps….
          . When I first started in my career some bitch tried to get me fired for incorrect attire as I chose not to wear a tie and only dress shirts a few times. One gal other senior manager said I left early- it was about 5 minutes to 5 in the afternoon. ….Hateful or drinking to much koolaid women will get you canned over nothing if they have their way. When they say they are in to help- watch out. they are coming like a rouge police force. Been there and seen it. No, sometimes you can’t just quit – sometimes you fight to the death to keep your work…the alternative is moving hundreds of miles. that don’t work.

        2. I’ve actually been asked why I don’t add coworkers on Facebook. I ask myself why I have Facebook to begin with

        3. Company “bonding” after work is like some obligatory ritual, sometimes you do it to cover your back. I don’t think anybody enjoys it.

        4. then you make up excuses like your sick grandma so your not hanging out with these folks…. you may as well gets some honorable lies out of it. Now, they wouldn’t fire you over a sick grandma? If you have to .. throw in a crippled child. Do what it takes but make your self scarce. LIke woman, familarty breeds contempt

        5. Not to mention you have to compete for the same women with said coworkers. Must be lots of awkward Mondays at work.

        6. Ha, until you start work at the Swedish Bikini Team’s home office, avoid work scooch like the plague. It’s not like it is hard to get laid in the modern age.

        7. That’s why I never got shows like Friends or How I Met Your Mother. Why fuck the same women as your friends, especially when you live in a big city? In high school, when you’re still green, it’s one thing, but when you’re an adult, it’s no excuse. Even in small towns, there’s no excuse to bang the same women over and over again.

        8. HIMYM’s answer to that question was that the one girl, the “town bicycle” of the group, was easy, well-heeled and couldn’t get pregnant.
          When the sole philanderer of the group hooked up with the “town bicycle” of the group, the show pointed out that they were “Lannisters” as they were actually related.
          IIRC, the “town bicycle” chick ended up a spinster living with a huge brood of “surrogate children” dogs.
          I’m not sure what it was trying to say with that.

        9. The only response I have to your comment is, we should raise the age of consent to 30. There are too many adults who shouldn’t have sex.

        10. Everyone in HIMYM looked “north” of 30 to me.
          I can’t say that I saw enough of it to know for sure if they actually were though.

        11. I saw parts of it through the years. They did look young at first. But later on they did seem to age a bit. Especially Robin. I guess in a way it does fit real life, as just living in a big city by itself will make you age. However, combine that with drinking at pubs all the time and riding the carousel, and people start looking like zombies, only instead of guzzling brains, they guzzle mojitos and Frappucinos.

        12. I was once asked by HR why i don’t have a facebook account and
          I deflected the question and was told “that’s suspicous.”

        13. I loathe that shit. Literally loathe it. And if women come along, which they will if they’re co-workers, they’re allowed to get as raunchy and “you’d fire a guy for doing the same thing” as they want while you as a man have to sit there and put on a fake smile and keep your trap shut (if you know what’s good for you).
          The last job I had where women ruled the roost, they had basically mandatory “let’s be friends!” events. The women would routinely make highly sexual comments to me and about me that would have gotten me fired immediately if I’d done the same thing. It was revolting on so many levels. I mean fine if I could have returned fire. “Hey Ghost, why don’t you dance on the table and take off your shirt!” (seriously, I was asked this as the other girls hooted and hollered, and mind you, I never, ever encouraged this kind of conversation). If I could have responded something like “Well not until you give me a lapdance” then fine, but no, if I’d said one cross word, out the door I would have been. Fucking double standards piss me the hell off.

        14. Oh, they think they’ll rule the world. In the meantime, they’re bankrupting the civilization to the point, we’ll be trading their bodies for gold after the fall. Look at the Middle East, you can see our future from here.

        15. When I was a corporate elitist, I had a rule: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER get drunk at a corporate event. Never curse, ALWAYS respect the queen bee…she has a poisonous stinger.

        16. I would seriously reconsider your swedish statement. Sweden is the heart of hardcore feminism, all feminist ideals are being put in place in Sweden, ALL of feminist ideas, even the obvious misandrist ones. Look at the town in the UK where men talking to women is sexual assault. I would run from Sweden anywhere else. The world is going nuts.

    2. That’s how I operate nowadays. And I don’t even consider myself an unfriendly person. In fact, I would like to think I’m easygoing. I just reserve that for my off work time.

    3. This!
      Also try to limit your conversations with female employees to the bare minimum.
      1. Hello!
      2. Goodbye
      3. How are you? (Optional!)
      This obviously excludes work-related matters, that you need to talk about.

    4. Precisely my sentiments. Compartmentalise and don’t shit where you eat. I am very reticent to ever talk about myself and do what I must and leave.

    5. Wish I could upvote this more. Co-workers will smile in your face then stab you in the back in a heartbeat if they think it will benefit them personally, or even just for fun because you know, like, drama is fun and stuff.
      I’ve never had such peace of mind as when I started working full time from home. My only co-worker interactions are over instant messaging and restricted entirely to work related topics.

      1. Mind if I ask, in the most non-personal and vaguest terms, what you do from home? Always looking to branch out…

    6. Problem, Working hard, doing quality work, and making the corporation money does not get many people promoted. It’s the social part that does.
      No matter how good one’s work is, no matter how many millions one makes the corporation there is always some flaw, some minor mistake, some character trait that they can point out and hold against you at review time. This is so they can promote the people in the social circle and not those outside of it.
      My favorite performance review was about 15 years ago now. I was told, in different words, that I gave a 110% but it didn’t seem like I wanted to so it was a negative on my review. This was so the guy who spent his time being social, the guy who’s mistakes I fixed, could be promoted.
      Now if that just means avoiding talking to women then that’s easily possible in some places, like where I’ve generally worked because there aren’t many of them.

  11. my rule is lie and have them bitches come get you if they want a piece. People get fired for all sorts of reasons. I have seen hundreds come and go…. .you need to know who your dealing with and figure out if they are honorable. I have never met an HR person I ever trusted and never likely will.

    1. HR is the small intestine of the workplace and I treat them with the maximum contempt they deserve.

  12. I had a male colleague at work many years ago, with whom I was friendly, but completely platonic. I was very, very, married and he was aware of this. Most of our conversations surrounded subjects like literature and friendly debates about politics. The latter isn’t terribly PC in today’s climate, but it was a different time. He became increasingly aggressive in trying to get me to go out with him, and with that he attempted increasingly sexually charged conversations, of which I refused to participate. Management noticed, and asked if I wanted them to intervene, but I refused their help, assuming that as adults we could and should handle this without getting the teacher involved, so to speak. Then one day when we were working alone he touched me extremely innapropriately. At that point I had no choice to report it. Maybe some women like drama, but I can assure you I was mortified while describing the incident. Management called him in for a meeting and he admitted it, telling them he thought there was “something between us”. Everyone was left shaking their heads and he was fired, which I tried to prevent because I felt somewhat sorry for him and his delusions. He struck me as a pretty lonely dude, not a creep. I wanted him punished so that the unwanted behavior would stop, but losing a job, in a depressed economy, seemed really extreme for an unsolicited grab. I certainly didn’t invite the behavior, but I regret not letting management intervene before it got to that point. Mistakes were made all around I suppose.

    1. There is a black strip on the very top of the RoK website. Place the cursor over ‘About’ and click on it. In the new page, there will be a section, whose subtitle is also ‘About’. It reads as: “Women and homosexuals are strongly discouraged from commenting here.”

      1. I am a woman, and plenty of women comment on this site, but I don’t know what you’re referring to????? I haven’t read or commented on this article??? Different person maybe?

  13. “. . . especially if you are in a US “right to work” state (where you can be fired for any reason at any time.)”
    Um, I think you mean “employment at will”, not “right to work”, in this use.

    1. Thanks for pointing that out, I was thinking the same thing.
      If labor unions weren’t simply marxist thugs (ie: if they actually gave a damn about their rank and file) then perhaps being in one might actually offer a benefit against sexual harassment allegations.

    2. Always thought that was mildly insane “either one of us could terminate the business relationship at any time”, well no shit, slaverys been abolished.

  14. Women don’t belong in the workplace. Period. They’ve done nothing but play games, screw off, use their bullshit as a way to avoid responsibility and, most importantly – suppress wages and cost too much to look after.
    If possible, find a business having an under quota amount of employees, i.e. no broads and jabberring brownies. Might take a small cut, but you’ll get a lot done faster and less bullshit from the higher ups fucking off on the golf course prattling about their “team solutions in the cloud”.

    1. A workplace devoid of “Affirmative Action” hires and H-1B visa vampires?
      I’m starting to believe that the only place where such a “utopia” exists is in an Ayn Rand novel 🙁

    2. I can attest to this. When I was employed, the ugly and fat women spent their days spreading rumors, starting drama and barely getting any work done. Old women whom nobody wanted were just as miserable and ridiculous. I’m so glad that my husband took me out of that world.
      Women belong in the home.

  15. A lot of reference-checkers will simply ask, “Would you make the same decision to hire him if you had it to do over?” Answering this yes-or-no question tells the reference-checker a lot, without exposing the reference-giver to much liability, because they’re not explicitly accusing you of anything.

  16. Reason I got into the energy sector. My boss unofficially doesn’t hire women because they can’t pull 10hr days, they can’t lift 50+ lbs on command, and more importantly, they are walking liabilities. Having to work next to a female lowers my test by -10. I don’t know how cube slaves do it without Kratom or just blowing their brains out.

    1. If only more hiring managers were like that.
      I did a stint at UPS years back. Lifting 50+ lbs on demand was a requirement to be hired but yet none of the women who were hired could do it.

    2. I don’t lift, although I plan to soon once I get moved (so I guess I do lift boxes and such), but I had to toss two steel frames of below-the-hook-lifting-devices, we call them end effectors, last week. Some 150 pounds each, scrap bin about chest high. About as much as I wanted to lift, but I got them up and over in one shot and made some satisfying booms dropping them into the bin. Between the old people, the medical conditions, and the women, very few people in my group can even lift 50 lbs.

    3. The key phrase there was “I don’t know how they do it without Kratom.” I think you just answered your own question.

  17. Use the 8 rules for dealing with bureaucracy: http://rulethewasteland.com/?p=419
    1. Know the risks / costs.
    2. Know your endgame (have a specific goal).
    3. Record and document EVERYTHING.
    4. Know their rules better than them.
    5. Use their own rules, words, and limitations against them.
    6. Read EVERYTHING.
    7. Don’t give them any free passes
    8. Isolate the individual actors from the power structure

    1. Use email as a CYA, NEVER write anything that you don’t want exposed, because no matter what, it will be.

  18. In my bad old days, while working in the military as an electronics technician, I always turned an eye towards my gunny who absolutely refused to work around females. If a new join showed up that just happened to have two X chromosomes, he would immediately have her reassigned to a support position outside of his authority (safety office, admin, supply). At the time, I though he was just a sexist chauvinist.
    Now, I get it. I fucking get it.

  19. One of the best things you can do, though not guranteed, is to get yourself to be the best you can be physically, mentally, and how you dress. Be that alpha. Then practically anything you do to her will be welcomed and appreciated. You could do no wrong.

  20. With many corporations being required to only say “Yes, he worked here
    from X to Y” because they are so scared of lawsuits, getting fired for
    sexual harassment may have no different effect from being laid off,
    because your references won’t be able to say anything differently.

    It can’t be taken for granted that “. . . corporations. . . are so scared of lawsuits” and “. . . your references won’t be able to say anything differently. . . “. Who is witness to what your reference does or does not say to whomever is asking them?
    If a reference slanders a candidate, that candidate will just end up getting notice from a prospective employer they did not get the job. In many cases, the response will be in the form of a generic, do not reply email. No prospective employer is going to call the candidate and say, “Yeah we called your last company and they told us what horrible person/employee you were so you’re not hired good luck on your job search.”
    Another aspect of this that can’t be taken for granted is unofficial inquiries into your character by prospective employers. Unless you change industries (and even then), people within any given industry know and network with other people across different organizations within that industry. For the sake of example, candle sellers. Joe from “ABC Candles” knows Bill from “Candles R’ Us” because five years ago they were friends who both worked at “Candles A Million”. Joe calls Bill about prospective candidate Don, former employee of “Candles R’ Us” who’s applying for a job at “ABC Candles”. Bill says, “You know I heard he got into trouble for sexually harassing someone”. Don will never know. Likewise say Bill throws Don under the bus because Bill is a flaming, morally bankrupt liberal who hated Don’s guts because he found out Don was a conservative and so he defames Don’s character. Whatever Bill tells Joe will never reach Don’s ears.
    If anyone has a success story with being defamed at work and getting justice out of the system I’d love to hear how. In my experience we live in times where companies are bold in their unjust persecution of employees regardless of what’s actually true. White, conservative males basically have no rights in the workplace.

  21. [quote]We are all obligated to obey the laws of our societies[/quote]
    It’s more convenient to obey the laws of our society.

  22. I had to spend a day on this sensitivity training bullshit…it didn’t work…I didn’t need training to know that playing with women in the office was playing with fire. It just comes with the territory, where there are women, there’s trouble. I learned that lesson in 7th grade.

  23. My sister was part of this with fellow female coworkers at a Fortune 500 company. A Negro sales employee tried to ‘muh dick’ them multiple times, touching, accidentally rubbing and x rated innuendo on a weekly basis and was all documented, TNB or Total Negro Behavior ……in other words. Ultimately he was fired, but got a 6 figure settlement due to his skin color.

  24. >US “right to work”
    Why does not a single motherfucker in the country understand what this law means? The Public Edjewcation system is insidious.
    Right to Work is an Anti-Union law that proposes that no employer be forced to pay into a Union as a term of employment.
    “At Will Employment” is the doctrine held by every state minus Montana that states that employment without contract is bound by no protections or terms. Workers can be released at any time for any reason without notice; and workers can end their employment at any time for any reason without notice.

  25. In Michigan, it’s all about sex anyway for the betas and the feminists. They hire you not based upon your actual work credentials, but based upon whether or not they want to have sex with you or not. There are so many women in the position of supervisor and hiring manager, it’s pitiful. And the worst part is that most of them are feminists. If they want to have sex with you, they will hire you. If they don’t, they won’t. And it is also the same if you want to keep your job. I f the women want to have sex with you, you will be safe. But if you don’t make them horny, then they will see to it that you will get fired. So that’s why I will lawyer up BEFORE my first day on a new job.

  26. The featured comment comes from the perspective of HR. HR is never your friend. They are the company’s friend. In my experience as someone falsely accused, not a HR apparatchik, instinctively following a very similar path to the one in the article worked out very well for me.
    Now in most of his advice, HR Boy is actually fairly accurate, except for the assumption that you are automatically screwed. The key is to fight aggressively and put the company and accuser on the defensive. The way you do this is with a lawyer.
    However, if you navigate the process without having a lawyer at least advise you, you deserve what you get. That doesn’t mean the lawyer has to represent you physically in meetings, etc, but they damn sure better be consulted before each step you take and actively kept in the loop at all times. Even better if your lawyer is a woman, since they know how women are.
    One addition: check with your attorney to make sure it is legal in your state, and if it is, secretly record every meeting and other interaction whenever possible. Cell phone recording is ok, but a tiny dictation recorder with removable tapes are better. You can find the recorders at Office Depot for between $30-$50. Additional tapes are very cheap.
    I wish you as much success as I had in my false accusation.

  27. John1 wrote:
    “There is a lot of bad advice in here. I have lots of experience doing human resources over the years and have even had to conduct several sexual harassment investigations (most were awkward co-workers not getting a clue and making multiple requests for dates, etc.)
    If you are accused of sexual harassment, you do not need a lawyer unless you are some sort of executive or you are being subjected to blatant libel/slander.
    At the meeting where you are given notice ask for everything in writing. Also, if you work closely with the person accusing you ask to be assigned a different work location, work from home, or request paid leave while the investigation is ongoing. Don’t make any statements about facts and circumstances at this meeting.
    Once you get out of the meeting immediately pdf any emails or other evidence you might have on your work computer. There is no telling if/when IT may lock you out
    While the investigation is ongoing (in my experience usually about 2-3 days) do NOT make any attempts to contact anyone who is a witness or the accuser. Keep your mouth shut and stay away from the office if possible. If you have to communicate with anyone do it via email if at all possible.
    When HR comes for your side of the story present it cool and collectively. If you actually did it you should probably think about owning up to it, offer your resignation, and ask for a confidentiality agreement. Even if you are a crafty liar or there isn’t a ton of evidence either way, just being accused has effectively poisoned the well. Your employment is basically done even if you could slip out of it.
    If you didn’t do it or the accusation is BS then make your case the best you can given evidence, facts, etc. If it is a false accusation remind your employer that they have an obligation to follow up with appropriate disciplinary action if the evidence shows it was completely fabricated.
    Either way, especially as a man, you are pretty screwed if you are accused of sexual harassment. Even if you are completely vindicated you are still going to be known as a harasser. Unless you have a big stake in your employment at that company you should think about leaving either way. Companies tend to want these problems to go away too. You can use that to your advantage in trying to negotiate an exit package. Most are happy to cut you a check for a few months of severance and a confidentiality agreement to not have to both with ongoing drama between two co-workers. It sucks that this is reality but at least you get the consolation prize of a few paid months off between jobs.”
    I sadly agree BUT before quiting, there’s one more thing. You should press charge and/or ask for severe retaliations from your employer against the accuser.
    Your reputation may be ruined, but you have to ruin/discourage this type of behaviours.
    Because, the only way to make this type of behaviours slow down, is to make it as costy as it is rewarding for the false accuser. (The reward is at least a narcissistic reward: empowerement, and sometimes money or position)
    So, it worth the ‘risk’, because most men are clumsy mute, desoriented and just resign even if they ‘win’.
    But if it turns ‘costy’ or them, it would be another story… Women HATE facing conséquences of their actions.
    iI they see that every ‘bad behaviour’ will have a consequence, they’ll think twice…

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