5 Major Signs That She’s Using You

It’s no secret to the men of ROK that women use men. Yes, this is obvious to even the newbie who’s trying to learn game. But, it does not do to simply know that women use men—it is imperative to know the signs.

When you know the signs to look for, you can avoid having women use you. And believe me, if you’ve ever had a woman use you before, it is not an enjoyable experience. Unfortunately, the mainstream media paints women as completely innocent angels that never do anything wrong.

This, of course, is one of the many lies that the media forces down our throats. That is not to say that women don’t offer many positives to a man’s life; the right woman can be a great thing. The right woman will make you feel like more of a man, she will provide you with feminine energy and help you calm down when you’re in your head, and she’ll drastically improve the quality of your life.

But, in order to find girls like this, you first need to filter through the bad ones. Here’s some tips to filter through the bad ones, and figure out which ones are using you:

1. She Never Puts Out


This is, perhaps, the most obvious sign that she’s using you—and yet, it still baffles me when I see men pursuing women who are clearly exhibiting this sign. I don’t care what her excuse is, if you’ve been seeing her for over a month, and she hasn’t put out, she’s using you.

She’s using you for validation. She’s using you to buy her lunch. She’s using you for emotional support. She’s using you, she’s using you, she’s using you, my friend.

“But what if she says that she wants to wait until marriage, Jon?” Then don’t believe a word she’s saying. Are you telling me that if Brad Pitt walked up to this girl and spat his game on her, she’d reply with: “Oh, sorry. I’m not that type of girl.”

Give me a break. She’s using you. If she kisses you, but any time you try to escalate she refuses, or if she doesn’t even kiss you, then she’s using you. This category also includes girls who only put out when you do a favor for them.

For example, there’s tons of men who get trapped into relationships where they go by a sort of tally system. For every three favors he does for her, she gives him sex. Or, even worse, some men have to take their women out to expensive dinners before she puts out. Is this the type of situation you want to be in?

Sometimes friend-zoning hot girls for the benefits is a way to counter this—if you can sense that she isn’t into you, and there’s not much sexual chemistry, proactively put HER in the friend zone so that she’ll invite you to parties and introduce you to her social circle.

In general, however, you want to avoid these women—they will drain your bank account, your emotions, and your energy; they’ll drain pretty much everything except what you want them to drain.

2. “I Just Got Out Of A Bad Relationship.”


I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard girls say this. It’s almost comical when I hear it nowadays, because I know what she’s really saying is: “I fuck a lot of guys, but don’t know if I want to fuck you.”

They’ll have elaborate stories, oh god will they have elaborate stories. “My last boyfriend was an abusive alcoholic,” or “my last boyfriend got me pregnant and forced me to have an abortion, when I just wanted to keep the baby!” or whatever else it may be.

Don’t believe it for a second. Yes, to be fair, sometimes this is a legitimate excuse—but this being a legitimate excuse occurs so rarely, that if a woman pulls this card, it’s safe to assume she isn’t interested in you.

Case in point: the other day I was spitting verbal game on a girl, and I could clearly tell that she was the type of girl who loved to string guys along. So what’d I do? Take a look at our conversation:

  • Jon: “Hey, maybe you can save my number as ‘Chipotle Guy,’ in your phone, and I’ll always take you out to Chipotle thinking that I’ll get some, but then you can just tell me that you just got out of a bad relationship!”
  • Girl: [laughing] “Oh my god yes, and then I can shoot you a winky face every now and then, but only express interest after midnight, so that you think I actually want to have sex with you!”
  • Jon: “Oh yeah, I love when girls do that—then maybe you can come over one night, because you’re lonely, cuddle with me, and then when I try to make a move tell me that you’re not ready, and just cut off my balls permanently!”
  • Girl: [cracking up] “HAHAHA oh my god, who are you?!”

Boom, I was in. Do you see the point though? Girls are extremely conscious of the little things they do to lead guys on. Don’t fall for their lame excuses, because a lot of the time they’ll be “half true,” or they’ll seem like they might be the case. This brings me to my third point.

3. She’s Extremely Vague


“Hmm, which one should I commit to?”

A lot of the time, if a girl wants to lead you on, she’ll be extremely vague and say things like:

  • I’m not sure what I’m doing tonight
  • Maybe, I’ll just have to see
  • That’d be fun! I’ll have to look at my planner

Rest assured, she is putting you on the back burner in case another, more favorable opportunity presents itself. This can be a tricky one for men to understand, because knowing when a girl is using you is more of an art than a science, but here’s how I look at it.

If she says that she’s interested in hanging out with you, but then flakes more than 1/3 of the time, she isn’t interested in you at all. This is what makes the rule of 1/3 so key, however, because there will be those few times that she does in fact decide to come see you…but then, refer to point one.

On the times that she does come to see you, does sex happen? If you escalated, and she rejected you, then she’s not interested. She’s using you, and it’s time for you to ditch her. The best way to deal with flakes, in my opinion, is to actually be completely indifferent.

A lot of guys take a more “boundary-setting” approach, which definitely has its merits—in a relationship, if a girl tries to flake on you, it’s definitely best to call her out on her bullshit and tell her to make a decision so that she doesn’t waste your time.

But, if it’s a girl that you just met, you shouldn’t even care—why would you care if some random girl hooks up with you or not? You just met her. Remember: the key to maintaining this indifference is abundance. Who cares if this girl you just met isn’t into you? You should have zero emotional investment in her, period.

4. She Wants To Keep Your Relationship Secret


There’s many different levels that women can use you at, but there are two primary ones which they use you at. Generally girls either use you before sex happens, for validation, or during a relationship, for emotional needs. This point is regarding the latter.

Sometimes, when a girl initiates the relationship (which she always should), she’ll say that she wants to keep it a secret. This is fine, at first—sometimes women don’t know what will come of your relationship, so they don’t want to announce it and make it an official thing.

But, if they continue to do this for a long period of time (think months), then you can bet she’s using you. If you’re a player, and are spinning multiple plates, as Rollo says, this doesn’t really matter, but you should still recognize that she’s using you.

When women want to keep a relationship secret for a long period of time, it’s almost always because she’s using you to cheat. Whether it’s on her boyfriend, or her husband, if she doesn’t want word of your little relationship getting out there…she’s cheating, guaranteed.

Again, depending on what you want out of a relationship, this can either be a good thing or a bad thing—it can mean that she’s giving you sex with no strings attached, but you better be careful lest her partner(s) find out.

5. She Wants You To Listen, But Doesn’t Listen To You


To be completely fair, women typically do most of the talking in a relationship. That being said, any functional, emotionally healthy relationship entails communication from both the man and the woman.

When only the woman does the talking, and the second that you try to express your feelings she cuts you off, this is a telltale sign that she’s using you for emotional validation. Why else would she talk all day and vent to you, but the second that you want to say something, she interrupts you or can’t listen for more than 10 seconds?

I’ve personally been in a multitude of short term relationships with women, and let me tell you this: if the girl is into you, she’ll actually be asking YOU questions. She’ll be curious about who you are. She’ll be asking you things like:

  • So what do you like to do for fun?
  • So just how many girls HAVE you been with?
  • Are you looking for a relationship?
  • What do you want to do with your life? (mainly if you’re an undergraduate)

If she isn’t at least asking you a couple of these questions, you can rest assured, she’s not into you. The reason why is this: women want to know who a man is. They want to know what he’s afraid of, they want to know how he acts under pressure, they want to know who he is. They want to know you.

This is one of the reasons why congruence is so important in game; when you’re congruent, women feel like they actually know who you are, because you’re the real deal. Regardless, when a woman talks at you and never lets you get a word in or never asks you how you feel, she’s using you.

Read More: 6 Warning Signs A Girl Isn’t Worth A Relationship

174 thoughts on “5 Major Signs That She’s Using You”

  1. Know what? I am okay with that. In today’s dating culture you are also forced to use women for what they have. And as I prefer discussing things and watching sports with my male friends and can cook reasonably better than the average women in her 20s to 30s using them for having sex seems fair game to me.
    Article is good tho. Basic knowledge.

  2. “They want to know what he’s afraid of, they want to know how he acts under pressure, they want to know who he is. They want to know you.”
    What does that have to do with ‘who I am’? Who am I indeed?

        1. Yep. Before he played the swan song for the Star Trek franchise.
          Of course, it’s not entirely Bakula’s fault. Berman and Braga were godawful writers.

        2. I’m not sure, I saw this video but it was too big to upload for this site. My tech-savvy bro in Florida helped me by finding the right program to make this video small enough to convert to a GIF for ROK’s viewing pleasure! He even took the time to make this before he finished packing and drove 7 hours to Pennsicola to avoid the hurricane. Funnier still was that when he arrived at the motel he booked a room at it turned out to be a dive, two cop cars, a group of bikers and a couple of “missing teeth” trailer trash women, so he kept on driving lol!

        3. Ds9 was the best of the lot despite the affirmative action captain and underlying “poor wittle Magic oppressed natives” undertones. I was even more impressed with Siskos performance after I saw how battleship crazy he was in that captains documentary with shatner.

  3. Women are parasitic creatures by nature. They are using everyone in their life, including their girl “friends”. The opposite of using someone is having a genuine interest in someone along with genuine empathy for that person’s feelings. Females don’t have relationships with anyone just because they like them. There is always something she is getting from the interaction (money, good sex, validation, food, transportation, emotional support, attention) and I’ve met very few that feel obligated to reciprocate what is given to them. It shouldn’t bother a man if he is being used by a woman, as long as he is getting what he wants from her and knows not to fully trust and depend on her.
    In slut culture if you havent had sex with a girl after 2 “dates” or whatever they’re called now, you’re in the friendzone. The friendzone in slut culture is a hard place to find yourself but I guess it happens to some guys. I don’t know the feeling. Make a move, if she rejects you even once move on.

    1. Guess that is up for debate now. You can still be rock solid if you have sex by date 3 so I can’t agree with that limit. It’s about assessing the real quality of the date. If in each encounter you got as far as you can go, and yet you both still want more, yet things were forced to end, you’ve still got another date. It’s mainly about a mutual decision to proceed and not one person just wanting sex while the other is bored.

  4. If she flakes 1/3 of the time? No if she flakes once. When a girl is interested in you she won’t risk ruining things with you by flaking.

    1. Bingo! If she flakes once, put her ass in the road because if she got away with it one time she’s only going to get worse.

        1. Nobody’s perfect. Poontang has tendency to make most any man get cross eyed from time to time.

    2. Agreed. A woman with high interest NEVER flakes and even if she can’t make it at some point, she will always counteroffer.

      1. If your goal is to get laid what difference does high vs moderate interest have? Other than the fact it will be slightly easier with a girl with high interest..(on the other hand she my do a more throughal vetting process if she thinks your bf material.

        1. It is a HUGE difference whether for getting laid or whatever you want. A woman with high interest from the get-go will make things easier for you. Now, that doesn’t mean she will drop the panties at the drop of a hat necessarily, but she will make herself more accessible and open to you. Which can translate to a virtually effortless and seamless relationship, whatever that it is. A woman with less interest will make you work harder and longer, and who wants that?

        2. Indeed. If its hard its not worth it. I stop talking to women when they start making it hard. That means that all they want is your attention and nothing else.

        3. You nailed it right on the head buddy. Most guys fail to understand that the initial encounter is so critical. She has to find you attractive (physically) in some way first and foremost. After that, its all up to you.

    3. Are you saying that when you are interested in a girl, you would ignore other priorities such as an important deadline or dinner with your parents? I’m sure that even when a girl is very interested in you, she would still need to pay attention to other aspects of her life…

      1. You’re being defensive and not thinking clearly. Obviously nobody said anything of the like. Everyone is talking about flaking.

  5. Funny but once I got into my 30s I would drop them if she didn’t put out on the first date. This led to me receiving many ackward phone calls usually a week later ..”I had a really good time. Wondered why you haven’t called.. etc..”

    1. Women can’t stand rejection. It’s worse for them than it is for us. Their entire being revolves around men lusting after them. Any woman a 5 or above thinks she’s a 10 + 1.

      1. Hell, most of the 3s and 4s are acting up on the US West Coast these days. The force of denial, dissonance and “media poisoning” is strong with the California girls.

    2. IMO, nothing wrong with a woman who waits until date 2 or 3, but they usually start telegraphing sexual interest right off the bat so that’s all I’m looking for in stage 1. Perhaps I’m a bit hang-loose with it, but I avoid the full-court press on date 1. We can’t help being sexual, but we consolidate power by not being overtly horny.
      Besides, in every first-night or one-night stand I’ve ever had, I’m often left thinking “This was too damn easy, and not special, she’s banging everybody…wonder how many miles of dick she’s had if we laid it end to end to end?” I need a little resistance and integrity so I can engage my own energies and Game *through* it and sense she actually has a qualifying round and doesn’t serve it up like McDonald’s; otherwise she’s mostly looking like some kind of desperate hooker with impulse control issues.

      1. I understand that. However as I got older, I really didn’t have time for the “3 date rule” and, as the article pertains, women who might not be sexually attracted to you might have other motivations. Sure they enjoy your company and consuming your resources (mainly your time) and if you put up with that you give them the validation they seek. All you get out of those types of arrangements is false hope and blue balls.

      2. Yeah, I realize most women over age 22 in the west have a triple digit notch count, but I need to at least have the image in my head that I’m participating in something other than a massive gang bang. This is fundamentally why I can’t do tinder. I guess I should appreciate their honesty, but something about a girl who is just saying “I’ll decide to have sexual relations with a complete stranger in a split second by moving my finger 2 inches to the right” is disgusting to me.

  6. The only woman who will be loyal and caring for a man, is a GOD fearing woman, this is the product of modernism, they are leading individuals to live a life of hedonism, nihilism and vanity.

  7. ” Or, even worse, some men have to take their women out to expensive dinners before she puts out. Is this the type of situation you want to be in?”
    Expensive dinners, at the end of they day, if demanded for sex, is just P4P. You may as well drop the pretense and just get a hooker, they’ll be better in bed, probably less diseases (condoms) and you won’t have to sit through a 3 hour dinner watching 100 dollar bottles of wine disappear until suddenly she says “I’m too drunk to have sex”. Dinner at a decent place, OK, that’s reasonable. But if you want to go to Capital Grille or Ruth Chris on my dime, you better be putting out, on the regular, with no “exchange” at all.
    The only “genuine” way to fuck a woman is to pick her up at a club, don’t buy her a single drink, take her home and kill it. Almost any other interaction, a “date” a “present”, etc. All borders on prostitution without the advantages of ACTUALLY using a prostitute.

    1. And of course, once she’s eaten a hearty, expensive meal, she’ll be too wiped out to put out.

    2. Paying a hooker for sex is more worth it if that’s the only thing you want but paying for a normal girl shouldn’t be just about sex. When paying for a date it’s more about the excitement of the experience and the trill of the chase.
      Eventually you’ll get tired of seeking sex just for the sake of having sex, trust me on this!

  8. When the pozzed modern whore farts out of her gullet even a whiff of this hideous smell should be grounds for immediate dismissal and on to the next.
    If you are concerned about efficiency then even just a peanut of this shit should have you leaving her in the dust. In the fucking Sahara desert where she belongs.
    To change female behavior it is required of men to first actually have a sense of dignity towards himself and second to dissolve any possible rewards for her behavior.
    Your attention is a massive reward for her.

    1. How can toenail fungus get that outta hand? Are you walking thru the Amazon barefoot?

        1. The water? Theres an evil creature in that river- it crawls into your penis, camps out there…evil!

        2. I meant the forest. I did not walk through the river (although I went fishing for Piranhas). But I swam in a pond in the rainforest. It was amazing, I tell ya. The surface was heated up by the sun and the bottom was cold. When I swam, the water swirled and the layers mixed, leading to incredible dynamic patterns of hot and cold all over my body. Never felt anything quite like it.

      1. Hm. Don’t know what to respond to this. Frankly, I can’t even be bothered to respond to it, although I actually watched the entire video.

      2. Ill never understand why people listen to homosexuals who weigh in on the dynamic between straight men and women- would you listen to me if I told you how gays should live their lives? Please put on a shirt, please stop dying your chin hair purple- it doesnt really add to your argument.

      3. Good. He’s sorting out where he exists on the sliding scale of life (epic man-boobs and all).
        If you want to save nearly 7 minutes of your day, this is his message in a nutshell:
        “I’m dismayed and frequently puzzled by all the myriad ways in which I no longer belong in the realm of men.”

      4. It’s like someone took a garden-variety fat female feminist, removed her head, and reattached it upside down.

      5. The men who take the nurture over nature POV through life are ironically influenced by their naturally low T levels to be susceptible to the nurture mindset in the first place. Look at them bitch tits.

      6. Why does this comment have so few upvotes? Its great.
        In any case, its hilarious that this guy doesn’t see the irony in him shooting this video while he looks so ridiculous.

      7. HAHAHAHAHA, a limp wristed bitch with man-boobs, a nose ring, and no internal drive… thinks his opinion matters!!!

  9. Good piece.
    I should point out that even though it’s not politically correct to say so, a girl who just came out of a relationship is actually quicker to get physical, not slower. If the relationship was abusive then she’s actually starved for something real, and even if the relationship was fully functional then the least she’s accustomed to having regular sex. So if she’s telling you “it’s too soon”, then she’s telling you no. Like the other example, it’s never too soon for Brad Pitt.

    1. Everyone uses others and there’s really nothing wrong with that. The extent and degrees of them using you can be controlled or avoided by any man who knows the fucking score.

  10. Number 1 is completely misleading if you’re dating a conservative woman. My wife never let me touch her or be in the same house as her until we were married. In fact if you date someone from a conservative culture who does put out, then that’s a red flag.

    1. Conservative women are just better at hiding their inner slut, and they will take those activities with them to the grave. What’s worse is a conservative woman who’s divorced with kids and acts like she is a virgin. Pedestalizing herself to the point of the self fulfilling prophecy of living alone with cats and getting whatever validation she can from her orbiters on memebook.

      1. Don’t disagree with your points, however, being a “conservative” women adds a delay effect to “bad behavior.” It’s like if you are a natural born bank robber, which women essentially are as it comes to men, and you take a massive bong hit before you decide go on a robbing spree. You might not go through with it or end up doing it half-assed. There is value to “conservative” women if one is looking for something more stable.

        1. This is an unproductive mindset. Conservative women are ones who realize their worth as mothers and homemakers. Doubting them even after one has ascertained their character and upbringing reeks of effeminate indecision and pettiness.

        2. I dunno man, my experience has been different with them. The last conservative I dated was far from stable, calling her batshit crazy would have been a kindness. I’ve been with conservatives, atheists, femtards, and even a few muslim variety. While they all spoke different languages (metaphorically) they were all still just women at the core.
          Maybe there is a delay or maybe it’s a very short one, I would like to think there is. However, I’ve witnessed the “good girl” conservative types taking it up the ass so they wouldn’t deflower their pussy, or even to more extremes, deflower it anyway then get reconstructive hymen surgery for their wedding day so they could still play off the virgin story to their simp groom. Maybe I have just gotten bitter, however I have yet to find that unicorn who hasn’t completely abused her mind, body and soul heh. Hell the 18 yr olds now have higher notch counts than post wall sluts, conservative or not, unfortunately.

        3. No, your POV is accurate. Ther are no “unicorns.” It’s a myth we men dream of in our naive youth’s and then grow out of. That is why sites like ROK are so important. They help
          men transition to the terms of reality. However, to my point, a morally confused, i.e. conservarive women is a safer bet for the sheer reason she so often deludes herself which allows for an instinctual delay to the inevitable. It’s not a solution. It’s a longer fuse to her truth pill.

        4. Oh I see what you are saying now and I concur. I’ve got a thick skull at times, thanks for clarifying.

    2. It is a means to up her value. You have to buy the cow before you can taste the milk so to speak.
      Who would want to do that, if he has options?
      If the *good* men pass on that offer you would be surprised how all these “conversative” women lower their standards every passing year.
      15-20: Vergin bride
      20-25: At least 1 month relationship b4 sex
      25-28: 3 dates no sooner
      29-33: fucks on first date
      34+: has given up finding a decent man, buys cats and a lifelong supply of batteries for her 20 vibrators.
      40+: Should a decent man break into her house, she will consider using knock-out drops and lock him in the basement. Misery (stephen king book n movie here you come.

    3. Never understood you “conservative” guys. No offense but what on earth are you doing with a chick apart from touching her for such a long period of time? Watching Sex and the city?
      I’d rather have a girl you has a three digit notch count than a so called conservative freezer

      1. I was was observing her character, personality, and family while discussing housing, marriage, children, the like. Took me about 100 days to complete the arrangements.
        Dunno what sane men are doing around harlots. They are dead ends and I could see that even without dating them.

      2. I suppose they can go to safe, church-approved activities like conferences and jello potlucks. Also, group dating to PG-rated films is acceptable. (Occasionally they’ll let a PG-13 slip by, if it’s otherwise upbuilding.)
        Dating Advice from Prophets and Apostles
        What do the General Authorities have to say about dating?
        “The requirements of the Church are the highway to love and to happiness, with guardrails securely in place, with guideposts plainly marked, and with help along the way.
        “How unfortunate to resent counsel and restraint. How fortunate are you who follow the standards of the Church, even if just from sheer obedience or habit. You will find a rapture and a joy fulfilled.”
        — President Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “You’re in the Driver’s Seat,” New Era, June 2004, 6.

      3. I’m in a dilemma. As an atheist I want none of that after marriage nonsense but at the same time I want a girl with a low notch count. Getting them as young as legally possible at the location you are is the solution.

    4. Are you a time traveler from the 1800’s? In modern society chastity is extremely difficult given how readily available porn is and natural curiosity. Hell, even Disney gave up on portraying teens and young adults as asexual

      1. No, but I didn’t marry a western woman either. That being said girls are so impressionable that I bet you could turn any girl with a sliver of traditional sense and a pleasant character into a decent wife by being direct and letting her know what kind of mate you’re looking for after a few meetings.
        Game is valid and essential, but beyond the core principles (know what you want, don’t be attached to any one girl who isn’t yours already, and have goals you are working towards), the techniques and tricks people discuss about how to attract women are meaningless when it comes to finding a suitable woman for marriage.

    5. This. I did not sleep with my husband for months when we were dating.
      He was not used to that because the other women he dated had sex within three dates. Women with strong morals do not sleep with men quickly.

  11. Forgive my British ignorance, but was does “put out” mean? If we put ourselves out, it means we inconvenience ourselves or, in some regions (e.g. Northern Ireland), it means to be offended (he was really put out by that comment).

      1. Seriously? I have heard it used in American films and still not realised… I feel a bit stupid now.

        1. No need to go mental over it; just calmly stand in the queue, the lorry will show up shortly

    1. That’d be “off putting” or “put off” in the US for offense. Then it’s to put “someone” out when it’s the inconvenience, and “she doesn’t put out” for sex.

    2. Put out American/Canadian= sex with
      Put out English = I’m quite upset
      No idea what the Irish think. I’m American and 2 gens separated from the U.K.
      How the terms came to be so differing I honestly don’t know. My grandparents on both sides came from the U.K. directly after WW2 and I still have no idea.

  12. Five Major Signs That You’re Using Her
    1) She pays for your entire existence in return for sex
    2) You fuck her friends and she doesn’t care
    3) You don’t come home for days at a time, and when you do, dinner is on the table
    4) You respond to her texts by writing “I’m getting a blowjob right now, fuck off”
    5) She never gives you shit tests because she knows your SMV is so high it would be suicidal

    1. “4) You respond to her texts by writing “I’m getting a blowjob right now, fuck off”
      I am going to use this one, next time on a girl. Cant wait to see the reaction.

      1. Replace the “fuck off” with hurry up and get over here, my balls aren’t going to gargle themselves.

    2. I thought this was satire…but I remembered how fallen and decrepate this world and women are.

  13. No 1. Is such a lie. I only ever had one relationship, my husband. But personally i think it is a good sign to wait, it shows loyalty and a standard. if she gives out on date two or three its kinda desperate and a woman that does this have had time to sleep with lots of men. No.2 can both be true og false. 3,4 and 5 are great points.

    1. Waiting might have been ok in ancient times, but we aren’t in ancient times. Sexual chemistry is important. If you don’t have that, the relationship is in trouble

      1. Well said ! I don’t understand why Pussies get defensive when Men generalize them BUT expect that Men shouldn’t get defensive when Pussies do the same !!!

    2. Agreed. For myself if I find a girl is willing to “put out” after a pathetic month, then I know for sure I’ll be going to a place… well traveled.

  14. “I Just Got Out Of A Bad Relationship.” …oh really? Pointless and deceptive.
    When was the last time you ever heard someone say: “Hey! I just got out of a GREAT relationship!

    1. Well i kind of got out of a GREAT relationship last night.
      Just met her in bar, took her back to hers for some awesome sex and made sure to leave asap before she woke up.
      damn i miss her!

  15. All women use men for resources (money), status climbing and protection and all men use women for fertility (their looks). She is using you. No doubt. There’s nothing wrong with that provided you are using her to get the things you want. Enjoy the exploitation between the genders. It’s a fun game.

    1. Many of them do, but you can still find a few that are not users, mercenaries, and gold diggers and still will give away the store without much investment. As long as you are able to decode their agenda quickly, you will get what you want with limited losses.

      1. Sounds like you are looking for something “real” and searching for someone “genuine.” I feel bad for you. There is absolutely no agenda to decode. It has been decoded. See my above statement. The one thing I left out is that maybe she is looking for a psychically fit (attractive male) but, that is what I meant by “protection.” I assume you are young yet, if not a good starter book to read is the New York Times best rated book of the decade The Moral Animal. I know your instinct is to reproach and to clarify your position but, I strongly recommend changing your frame. Good luck.

        1. Nope, I am not exactly a spring chicken and was married for a number of years. What I am saying is that I have met women that will give you what you want and you don’t have to “break the bank” to get it. If you have not been able to do so, that’s another story. I recall one that even apologized for how “easy” she was, and all it took was a trip to the movies, not bad eh? And that’s just one example. If they REALLY like you, and you recognize what you must do, you pretty much relax and enjoy the show.

      1. I am at a point where I steadfastly refuse to kiss women on the mouth. I know what they do with that hole

        1. I’ll tell you this. If I do go down on her there is no way I’m wearing a condom. Not unless she had some plastic wrap. I don’t even want to hear it.

        2. Doesn’t seem like something pleasant to me. But hey, you do you, brother!

        3. Pleasant? Shit man, if I wanted pleasant I’d get me a wife and a couple of kids and a house with some land.

  16. Women only use men as much as men allow them to.
    If you don’t want women to use you, don’t allow them to.
    Majority of women will try to find that angle to use you. That’s who they are and they always been like that since day one. You on the other hand are constantly trying to get into her pants.
    You can call that a “fair value” exchange.
    Basically a form of prostitution if you really think about it.
    Instead of money, you are basically spending time with her and gaming her in hopes you are trying to score her pussy and she is trying to get much out of you as much as possible in return whether that be free dinner, purses, emotional validation, etc. ..

    1. Correct. As you get older and spot the trends and wise up, Yep, the onus is on the man to allow how their interactions unfold. You need to be a little bit cynical and not get carried away with her beauty & charms to allow yourself to be manipulated. Some men don’t have to learn the hard way, they were born self assured and are the ones who do the manipulating. The beauty of having options, is you don’t have to put up with bs, and when the women sense it they are the ones more eager to please.

    1. Beware any tattoos that need to be explained with “Well it was originally supposed to be … “

  17. A huge time-saver learning from game is that escalation will tell you how interested she is. Kino and escalate as soon as you can. Her reaction will tell you everything you need to know.
    This learning saved me TONS of time (and money). Ironically, when a girl responded poorly to escalation and I nexted her a material % of the time the nexting turned things around and got her tingling for me. Helps a ton with outcome-independent attitude too.
    The escalation principle works great in sales. I always push aggressively for the close. Sometimes to a level where there’s uncomfortable tension in the meeting. The prospect either buys or I stop wasting time — win/win either way. I’ve found they usually buy, and they respect me more for pushing them and not screwing around.
    My favorite sales maxim: “The worst sin in sales is not losing a sale — it’s taking a long time to lose a sale.”
    Game corollary: “The worst sin in Game is not not banging a girl — it’s taking a long time to not bang a girl.”

  18. Jon Anthony — you’re a fuckin beauty lmao. I shat myself reading this… reminded me of my earlier days learning game. Keep up the good work bro

  19. Advice from Return of Kings: Try to find a girl who is a virgin or as close as possible but if she doesn’t sleep with you within a month she is using you.
    Can someone square this circle for me?

    1. The reality of multiple authors writing articles offering a wide array of opinions seems to have eluded you.

    2. It also greatly depends on what situation you’re looking for: for example LTR/marriage vs. just dating or FWB.
      Therefore it’s not really a contradiction.

  20. To me number one is the most important. You need to learn to make a woman so hot shes the one leading you to the bedroom. Begging for 30 minutes is not foreplay.

  21. Come in her mouth and throw her out. Then when she comes back and says she’s learned the error of her ways…dump another in her yap and throw her out again.
    Messing around with that flaking nonsense. Bullshit.

    1. Q:what’s the difference between jelly and jam??
      A:You don’t jelly your dick down a girls throat.

  22. I definitely use my man! For all of the snuggles and smoochies! As long as I have my snugglefluff, I will be happy forever!

  23. if you’ve ever had a woman use you before, it is not an enjoyable experience. 
    Bullshit, plenty of broads showed up at my pad back in the day and used me for sex – it was just fine.

  24. “Remember: the key to maintaining this indifference is abundance. ”
    Easier said than done though, I rarely find a girl truly attractive. I have a specific type of girl I like.

    1. I find it harder to be attracted to most women given the rate of obesity and lack of femininity here in the USA, so you’re not alone.
      Being with beautiful women has pros and cons. The con is that your frame of reference goes up, and really changes your expectations. Hence it’s much harder to be attracted to the same old frumpy, lazy women.

      1. Beautiful women usually are high maintenance as well. Besides, if you don’t mind the legion of stooges trying to yank her out of your hands, then you are in a good place.

  25. The most common case of women using guys is when they only call you to do shit for them.. Otherwise you only hear from them or hear from them for emotional validation after they got fucked over by the guy they were dating, or to be ex husband….. Help me with the engine on my boat, Help me with my car problems, help me paint my room, help me lift heavy shit..Tell her she should hire a mechanic or a handy man if she does not want to put out or strings you along just to keep her handy man (you) around…Women are master manipulators when it comes to keeping a man on the hook… If you help out a woman once is nice and can be a good ice breaker, learn to recognize this user early and do not waste time, money or resources helping her.

  26. Fantastic article. These are some real truths obviously from a man with real experience.
    Just FYI, I used to browse the marriage forums just out of curiousity, and many of the same topics presented here were present in situations with men who’s wives weren’t behaving appropriately. So don’t think you’re necessarily safe getting married, either.
    Thanks for the article.

      1. From the land of holy cows. We even get our frogs arranged married if we want rains.
        But the present trend of feminism and female-rowdiness and decreasing arranged-marriage is alarming in my country, especially in the cities and towns. And it is actually women who are going out of norm to “fall-in-love” rather than arranged marriage. I am 27 and my generation would most probably be the last where we would get womanly-women. Poor Generation Z Indians they are gonna get their balls sack crushed my feminist pliers.

  27. 1) She’s a woman
    2) She’s a 1st world woman
    3) She’s a 1st world woman and you’re also in the 1st world.

  28. Amazing article, I just met a f*** women that when the first thing she said were ” I just broke the 12 years relationship with my boyfriend and I’m not looking for other relationship” while she at the same time was accepting to go out with another guys. Fuck** bitch.
    Then she was spitting her shit all the time but when I wanted to tell her my stuff she didn’t want to. Great article.

      1. That was what I did. Once we were going out, I set the day and the time. When the time came, she keeps me waiting half hour even when I told her explicitly to get on time. Then when she arrived I already wasn’t there, so she texted me and told me “rude”. I took advantage of that to tell her she was rude for keeping me waiting even when we weren’t a couple and more blablabla so I flushed her in a exceptional way so at the end she hadn’t anything to say o respond. The “friendship” only lasted one month, fortunately. Yea, she didn’t want me enough but only to serve as an orbiter and as emotional tampon while she finds another one that fits her needs. Fucking bitch.

        1. LOL. Yep, you summed it up perfectly. But next time if something like that happens don’t even bother to reply. Silence is venom when you want to get your point across.

  29. Points 1 and 2 aren’t valid signs that a girl is using you.
    The rest make sense, but not putting out?
    Some girls do have self respect and actually don’t want/like to feel like a sleeze by sleeping on the first date.
    If you’re a girl looking for something long term you normally just want to make sure the guy just isn’t just wanting your pants and just leave as well. Because a lot of men (not all) are like that.
    And if people get out of bad relationships they feel emotionally dry/dead, it wouldn’t matter who came up to them and tried to “spit game” there is no “if brad pitt came up to them” because that’s a faulty LOW probability argument that anyone would want that crusty has-been in the first place.
    Reading the comments below is so sad. Most of your ideologies about women are wrong. Not all of them are bad and the same. Not all of them just want men to lust after them and use them. Or even have you buy them stuff.
    In my relationship, I tell my fiancé I don’t want gifts, valentines day, or christmas stuff. I don’t want a wedding it’s a waste of money/stupid, and I think big expensive rings are BS. I don’t let him buy me things, give me money, and when we go out I pay for my portion. I only want his love and respect, and in return I give him the same. We both take care of each other, both cook, both work, both clean. I don’t control his life and he doesn’t control mine. There are no games (beyond video games), no snooping, or irrational nagging. And we are both genuine/affectionate to one another. In our relationship we are equals, and we are a team. And also, I am an American girl who isn’t vain/self absorbed, or an overly medicated person. (because I also read the article on how american girls are Papa Johns- maybe most of them but NOT all)
    And have you guys ever thought to yourself the type of women you attract is because of the energies you yourself give off? Like attracts like, just saying.

  30. I’m currently dating the dude I friendzoned. Best boyfriend/sex I’ve ever had. Started hanging out with him after a particularly short-lived, bad relationship as friends. Broke up with asshole in June, started dating friend in October. Sometimes women aren’t ready for a relationship. And sometimes if women friend zone you, they might eventually date you.

    1. Sooooooo……..you are saying guys should put their life on hold while you are screwing around on the off chance that you will lose interest in the other guy so he can take you back? Makes sense.
      Selfish bitch

        1. But you still expect the good guy you friend zoned to put his life on hold for you while you figure things out. And he puts up with it. You are dating a beta.

        2. “You are dating a beta” hahahahahahaha – I get wet just looking at him and we’ve been together for over a year. I spent nine years with a beta (age 14 to 23), I can differentiate between the two. I value my boyfriend, I think my boyfriend can do better than me, which is why I don’t stop trying to win him over. When you date a beta, you don’t care what you look like, how much you weigh, or bother to keep your attitude in check. I am the complete opposite with my current boyfriend, the one that I “friendzoned.”

        3. He also didn’t put his life on hold, he continued dating other women. I also didn’t ask him to put his life on hold. But when you like someone, no one else can really compare, can they? Connections are rare these days.

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