Why Are Rappers Acting Like Women?

I wrote not too long ago about the growing levels of emasculation we’re seeing in modern hip-hop, despite it generally being credited as part of a highly masculine culture. For all of the posing and machismo we hear about, there is an inordinate amount of feminine whining and feminine styling among this culture’s male adherents.

One of the issues I mentioned in that post related to the culture’s obsession with “snagging the bad bitch”:

Snagging “the bad bitch” is another way to show one’s manhood. Again, you can’t just bang her. You gotta talk about it, rap about it, or tape it if you can. The world needs to know that you have the girl they want. Not necessarily the girl you want, but the one that they want.

This is similar in some ways to how women often choose men based in large part on their status or ability to impress her peers. This growing internalization of female attraction cues is leading to a larger number of male groupies in the world of hip-hop, men who (like women) prioritize status and peer approval over raw physical attraction.


In short, men in this culture are showing their weakness and insecurity in their obsession with “the bad bitch” or the female with status tied to her appearance or reputation. They feel too often the need to get the girl not merely because they are men and they find her attractive, but because they need to impress other men. This is exceedingly insecure, bitch-made behavior, but it is common in this culture.

The artist Ray J has recently delivered a piece of work that embodies these concerns I spoke about then. For those who don’t know, Ray J is a 32 year old rapper/R&B singer. He’s not totally irrelevant—several years ago he delivered a top 3 certified platinum hit and has managed to see a couple of other songs and albums get some recognition. He’s also had a reality show.

The thing Ray J is most known for by laymen today, however, is probably his relationship with Kim Kardashian, which yielded the infamous sex tape.


The title of Ray J’s newest musical masterpiece? “I Hit It First”.

Alright, so I’m sure I don’t need to spell it out for you—the song is about Kim Kardashian, and how he supposedly beat everyone else to her vagina.

Let’s examine some of the lyrics:

She might move on to rappers and ballplayers
But we all know I hit it first
I hop in the club and boppers show love, and I don’t even put in work
I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it first
I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it first

And if you were to come back to me
Girl I know just why you’d choose me
And if you were to come back to me
Girl, I’ll get it wet — jacuzzi
And if you were to come back to me girl
We’ll make another movie

In typical Hip-hop fashion, Ray J feels the need to tout his ability to appeal to random women upon his sighting in a club. This is meant to indicate his masculinity—he’s a player, he’s a baller, blah blah blah.

And yet, at the same time, he’s writing a song about one female.


Think about this for a second. If you’re truly the kind of man who can get attractive women interested at first glance as you claim, why are you obsessing over one girl? If you’ve got fine females in your corner on a regular basis, why would you feel the need to try and brag about having had sex with just one? How is it that she could remain on your mind a decade after you hit it?


Furthermore, why would you even suggest the notion of returning to that female when you have so many young, hot “boppers in the club” that allegedly want to get at you as soon as they spot you? Kim Kardashian was 23 when the sex tape was made. She’s 32 and knocked up now with quite a bit more mileage (Reggie Bush, Kris Humphries, Mile Austin, Kanye West and a bunch of other dudes have been there since Ray), and now you want her back?





This is a perfect illustration of the emasculating nature of modern urban/hip-hop culture, which has begun to turn men into women and women into men.

The culture assigns praise to men who get with women of a certain “status”. Men then proceed to gossip and brag about their sexual conquests in a manner reminiscent of the way a young hypergamous female enters discourse with her peer group about her sexual success with an alpha male. They even proceed to feud about these conquests in a way reminiscent of the high school cat fight (though more violent). Their insecurity and neverending pursuit of validation is reminiscent of a teenage girl, yet persists well into their own adulthood (Ray J is 32).


In essence, men become those hypergamous groupies in the urban community. They catch oneitis for certain girls who have enough status to boost them in the eyes of their peers, and proceed to try and feed off of that boost whenever they do get close to those females. Ray J’s behavior is merely symptomatic of a much larger trend—it isn’t uncommon for young men in this culture to create facebook albums, twitter messages, and or their own amateur mixtapes for the purpose of letting the world know who they fucked, when they fucked her, and why it makes them special and worthy of validation.

Discretion is one of the simplest ways for women to separate the masculine chaff from the actual wheat. Truly confident, high-value men understand the expediency of maintaining a degree of privacy and exclusivity in their relationships, and don’t feel the need to completely undo that understanding in a bid to attention-whore like a bitch.


I am not saying that there are no decent masculine examples that can be drawn from modern hip-hop, but I am saying that one needs to be careful and increasingly more selective in turning to the genre as their source for these things. Despite its reputation, the culture is filled with men who behave as though they are the opposite of the confident players they claim to be, acting instead like insecure, thirsty attention whores. There’s no room for that kind of thing in the heart or mind of the man concerned with self-improvement.

Read Next: How Hip-Hop Was Neutered

89 thoughts on “Why Are Rappers Acting Like Women?”

    1. Exactly. But it distorts young minds, especially young white minds, so it remains a metastasizing cancer that needs to be excised. I understand this not only by observation … but experience: embarrassingly, I used to be a whigger.
      In a sane society, this “art form” would have NEVER gained traction to begin with. The pedestalization of moral lepers is yet another ongoing signal of decline, and a mind weapon whose primary target is the cultural destruction of white youth.

      1. There’s something about white nationalists posting on an article written by a black man, on an article about black musicians, trying to portray this as a problem because white kids are getting the wrong picture, that boggles my mind.

        1. The wrong picture? Have you read any rap lyrics? White people are not immune to African dysfunction. I am evidence of the truth.
          PS The author is a mulatto.

        2. A mulatto? What year are you living in bro? Is Andrew Jackson still president?
          Face it. You’re a boring white nationalist. That’s fine. But it sucks for the rest of us to see you twist an interesting discussion to fit your narrow ideological agenda.
          If you took your head out of your pristine white ass you’d be able to observe that hip hop culture has done far and away more harm to the black community than it has to your beloved race of low melanin peoples.

        3. Lolololololol Come at me bro!!
          Admittedly, I don’t read the
          author’s posts. Not because he’s a mulatto, but because he’s a liberal
          who often cites HuffPo. The title of his latest entry completed me to
          salt the discussion, however, with a dash of hate truth.

    1. Kanye West is arguably the biggest blue pill-simp in the hip hop community; indeed, hebis extraordinarily talented, however, he’s a simp nonetheless…

  1. The hip-hop culture is also the one the world has come to identify with reckless overconsumption (bling-bling). So I suppose it should come as no surprise that they are trying to validate their worth in any manner possible. But like feminism, it is given the free pass of being politically correct through the same justification.

  2. Say what you want, Ray J is the only winner in this situation. I wonder how Kayne’s kid is going to feel 10 years from now listening to some guy talking about fucking their mom before their dad got to. Especially if the kid’s a boy.

  3. In answer to the title of your post (yes, I didn’t bother reading beyond that): because a high percentage of black men are fags. Fags, as in poofs, or homos, or queers, or whatever term makes you feel less buttfucked.

      1. Looking at their propensity to get aids, the fuck each other a lot out of prison as well.

  4. The answer is that there has always been an inherent contradiction about rap and this is the logical outcome. “Men” focused on status and violently opposing being disrespected are not strong and independent—they are utterly dependent on the feedback and validation of those around them. Like women.
    Besides, these people are just playing characters, they aren’t “all that” and the mask slips sometimes. It has to be boring standing around like a bitch posing how tough they are. Like a gritty, urban WWF.

  5. Just few days ago, I stumbled upon the “I hit it first” song by Ray J on Youtube. I mean, it’s just ridiculous how these guys are putting this chick on the tallest pedestal ever.

    1. I hardly see how kim is worth the pedestal too! Shes fucked errbody – kanye could do better

      1. I guess at this point,it doesn’t matter,she’s literally a trophy anyway,so who gets to rock the Larry O’brien/Heisman/Stanley Cup next…

    2. Hip Hop went from: “Bitches Ain’t Shit”, “I’d rather give you my bitch”, “It ain’t no fun if the homies can’t have none” to “How to love” & “I hit it first”. This modern shit can’t even be called hip hop it’s some commercialized feminist garbage.

  6. Bragging about tapping KK is not something to admire. It’s not like he really accomplished anything except become her bitch. His name will always be associated with her from now on. And in celebrity land that’s not good because his work no matter how good or bad will always take a back seat to her. His status is tied to a her and that is the lowest of low as far as being a male is concerned.

  7. hip hop is made by douche bags for douche bags….
    kayne west and his second hand celebrity whore being case in point.
    it’s an egoist’s music, and all egoists are ultimately terribly insecure.
    the hip hop craze is over anyway, you know when you hear rich white kids calling each other nigga, that the fashion is about to turn.

  8. I was thinking the same thing as HH Holmes. Who gives a FUCK.
    Some dude fucked some slut? Uh okay.
    How did you manage to write an entire article about such a meaningless subject? LOL

    1. I’m gonna stick it right hur cause iPhone won’t show me the comment box.
      10-4 Rambo! Looking to mainstream media for trends and advice? Die. This superficial author may be trying to pose a counter argument or whatever, and in all reality he is doing just that: Posing.. Same with the commenting sheep; sickening to read.
      Real men would do well to heed this advice: Look deeply into project MK Ultra and all it’s facets, to glimpse a dark reality of who actually owns the media and ultimately the mass mind, then woman. Go. Venture on and find my old friend, EsotericKitten, if you dare. It is time for some newcomers to dig through the catacombs and break into the dark night of the soul…

      1. Posing: posturing: pretending.
        Addendum: the “reality” of those I speak is not merely categorically ‘dark’, (I find that to be a rather ubiquitous word) but deceptively self serving to extremes few would believe. Search on and see. Now you have been shown a door to reality.

  9. Lets have equality:where broke worthless retarded men can date Hollywood starlets..why do feminists never talk about that ?
    I dont get these famous rappers. They can have any women in the world then settle for a total useless slut like KD. If she was super super super extra beautiful I would understand it, but all she has is tons of makeup, monthly teeth whitening and an ass made in Silicon Valley.

    1. They can have any women in the world then settle for a total useless slut like KD.

      Her ass is perfectly shaped for eating cereal out of.

  10. Ray-J has been irrelevant for a few years now. The tape was suppose to catapult him to Super Stardom but it didn’t. Kim Kakes was able to utilize it and build a 100+ million empire and Ray-J hasn’t even seen a fraction of that success. Last time I saw Ray-J he was playing piano for Flod Mayweather and getting into fights with other rappers. Basically he is washed up looking for a hit so now he’s gotta resort to something he did 10 years ago.
    In terms of the article its spot on. Sadly my favorite rapper Nas did it with Kelis (she raped him for 50K a month for child support) and Hov did it with Beyonce (although Beyonce is far from a slore like Kim K). It’s a ego thing. I never understood why these rappers were so gass’d with Kimmy Kakes. She is just the “2013 Marylin Monroe” 

    1. well let me tell ya kanye is just tryna live up to jay z they respect each other neither one of them like each other and use each other in anyway he met kim k wifed her up and got her pregnant in less than a year this was by no means an accident jay z just had a baby with what those might consider a bad bitch so kanye wanted to impregnate his own bad bitch all to live up to his idol/rival jay z but what many don’t know jay z envies kanye musically and lyrically which is why he held him back from making his own record on rocafella but dash let him shine and jay z saw how successful kanye could be and exploited him and beyonce was an industry ho to just like rhianna but it wasn’t as publisized back then in fact she cheatedon jay z with sean paul and it almost ruined their relationship but because of the money shes a good girl it works they get paid just for being a couple the same with kanye and kim the industry full of hos and bitch niggas especially in hip hop you notice all these hip hop moguls from new york do niggas dirty jay z diddy 50 cent but nobody wanna diss new york cause of the stranglehod they have on the industry jay z time has paassed in hip hop bu he continues to buy his own publicity and over stay his wlcome if jay z didn’t have his money he’d have been fallin off and he’ll be rappin till he 60 and niggas will still play his shit i’m drunk and rambling but so what fuck new york fuck hip hop and fuck this bitch ass generation who support these cok=cksuckers cause they just like em

  11. I’ll have to side with Ray J on that one. If I landed a hot girl like that and my opponents would talk shit and act big, I would remind them how I rocked her back in her prime years right before they did… that’s the biggest insult to a man who has kids with her.

    1. And what’s the point of insulting him in that way? Certainly not to foster a sense of brotherhood.

      1. Yeah,and that song to me is more of a shot at Western Kenya …but why,right?

  12. Really?
    common. Kim K is now a fat cunt with a face, and Ray J, well, he screwed up when he didn’t contract the exclusive rights to KK’s performance in the sex tape and all future work.
    He should have pimped her out by putting her under contract and getting a percentage of anything she did in the future as a result of any fame that resulted from being associated with him?
    What’s 15% of KK worth these day? A lot more than a Ray J release.
    Now, that’s how you get the Bad Bitch — Real!

  13. Is having Kim K on your arm supposed to be some status symbol that I’m not aware of?
    It seems like a lot of male celebrities think that only a woman who is also a celebrity is good enough for them.
    Kanye could have his pick of women, and he goes with KK? Really?

    1. It’s kind of like a hipster status symbol: vintage (used) clothing on clearance with holes, tears, must, mold, stains, and other goodness. Very nice.

  14. You forgot to mention how all these rapper dudes are starting to wear those skinny jeans, like my 10 year old daughter. It’s ridiculous and makes them look like a puss.

  15. Rap music has always seemed like an inversion of the Marvin Gaye school of whiny black maleness. Rather than a plaintive song on “why did you leave me just because I ain’t got no job;” they flip it to “you left me, who ain’t got no job, because YOU da bitch, acting white and all.”
    This loser is just trying to grab a last morsel of commercial success.

  16. Man, every time this writer puts forth an offering it has serious thought in it and a caveat for other sectors of men. While he uses the black community as his back drop, there are subsequent warnings and/or awareness that can be used for different groups. This is not an essay so much about hip-hop as it represents the marginalization of the masculinity of a group that, here to fore, had been notorious for high masculinity.
    And this author points out that now they seem to be caricatures, almost clowns of the previous versions.
    To indirectly bash the theme because of Kardashian and her exploits, or what you may or may not think about hip hop, or black men, just shows the reader cannot see the deeper theme this author has provided us.
    His first article about how the black community was a precursor to what is happening in many lower-middle income and middle class white groups gave me the insight to understand how Hugo Chavez and the Bolivarian Socialist Revolution had a connection with the spike in murders in Venezuela.
    I did a little research and found out that women are the biggest beneficiary of the Socialist largesse that Chavez spread around with increased oil revenue. So the young men are now marginalized and women get what they need from the government, so the boys turn to this violence thing as a form of status competition. And the murder rate has spiked from 5200 a year to 20,000 particularly in the last five years. And the revenue to women has also spiked in that time with the spike in the price of oil giving more money to the Venezuelan government. There is a larger warning here for us.
    And like it or not that has direct relationship here, as more and more government support directly or indirectly to women marginalizes more and more men.
    You just got fucked today. The Senate is passing an immigration bill that allows 11 million workers to now compete directly against you and opens the doors to many more, lower paid, high tech workers to come in and squeeze the domestic versions. Both of the groups will have to toe the line, get exploited, just to keep on that visa path. So American men just got “insourced” by foreign men.
    And mark my word, there is a continued assault on tech by women. This Ariana Richards episode, that whole “Lean In” bullshit, the whole celebration around the Yahoo CEO, are just the opening rounds.
    But they don’t want those actual “tech” jobs, they want the management jobs. And then they use the cheap immigrant men for the actual “tech” work, men they hold a gun to their head with the visa status, that they can trade in and out for other tech immigrants on a moments notice, with no rights.
    I been there. I worked in groups that in 1995, everyone was American and by 2000, most were Indian. Then by 2005, almost all were Indian. The big American tech companies strike these deals with these Indian consulting companies and shoot these guys in and out for about 65% of the price of a domestic worker. And they get exploited. When there was some late night deadline, those bosses have no issues squeezing those Indians, forcing them into nights and weekends.
    And those bosses will increasingly become female. So those women get real slaves and they no longer need you. There is their answer to you opting out, you thinking that us not playing will crash the system. It won’t. You are not necessary.
    No, you were the one that they “opted out”, you’re out, they’re in. Those women get paid, you don’t. The thing they couldn’t do, the tech, the math, the hard shit that men did, well, they just got a cheaper version that mouths off less, and never steps out of line, and knows where that bread is buttered.
    A lot of what Game appears to be, being a bad boy, being masculine, showing pre-selection, things other than what “inner game” prescribes, are often modeled in life on bad boy hip hop culture, at least in attitude. I am sure a lot of what these guys that this author mentioned do, they do because it works for them.
    What this author shows in this post is, one more time, a warning, that false and affected masculinity, has a jeopardy.
    We are looking at a complete flip flop of sexual roles, where women become prime earners, where men are marginalized financially, and men become toys or status symbols, like bitch’s bitches. Women don’t need you any more, and they get bitch’s bitches, with muscles and a big dick, jewelry, a purse and tight pants.
    And once again this author has the prescience to see that connection and point that out.

    1. You just hit it out of the park . Outstanding. This is happening right now in my circumstances

    2. Solid post. So, do you ride the wave or try to block it? Methinks a surfboard and some surfing practice are in order.

      1. As someone mentioned on this site, Sen Al Franken said it’s easier to wear slippers than to carpet the whole world. A surfboard is a kind of waveriding slipper that always fits…

      2. There were these two American tourists lost in Venice in the maze of streets and canals. One was pouring over the map.
        The second said “Man, I could stay lost here all day”
        The one reading the map said, “Dude, we may not have choice”.
        So to “surf” or not might not be within your power to choose.
        That is the whole point of Roosh’s posts. This game is being stacked against you, so unfuckingstack it by figuring out a way out.

    3. Hugo Chavez led the emancipation of latin america from the complete servitude of u.s. foreign/economic policy interests, so I’m not gonna hate on the guy. I am a unapologetic leftist/socialist/occupy liberal till I fuckin die. However, that being said, its too bad about some of the unintended consequences of breaking away from u.s. political hegemony is the rise of bitches. Didn’t really see that coming. Oh well, what can ya do?

      1. Pure BS, he didn’t lead sh*t. He was ignored by Brazil when he came after them on sugar cane biofuels, he was ignored by Chile when he suggested they should give back land they conquered to Bolivia so they could have access to the sea, Argentina and Uruguay wouldn’t take his currency and he had to barter with them with oil for goods, his little project in Nicaragua to have them challenge Costa Rica for lake Nicaragua supremacy starting a mini cold war between the two nations, providing safe haven for FARC terrorist groups almost starting a war with Colombia. CAFTA, and the free trade area of the americas was expanded under his term in office. You guys can fool some of the people some of the time but you are automatically full of SH*T on Chavez free trade is spreading to Peru Chavez had very little effect on S. America and it was all negative or entertaining.

  17. This is a well known phenomena of ghetto culture. When men are raised by women, the current ghetto American culture is the result. No mystery here. It was created by the welfare state. It will take generations to remedy, but only after the state collapses.

  18. New hook for the remix:
    Dubs, dubs, dubs
    Rah, rah, rah
    I rode them used tires
    before they became retreads
    Ya sittin’ on my used retreads, playa
    Rah, rah, rah
    Dubs, dubs, dubs
    Now, all we need is a phat beat. Pay me.

  19. Yeah this is unfortunate, because hip-hop’s “take me or leave me, you’re replaceable” attitude is a good model for men.

  20. That’s why I live and die by Eminem’s words: I do know one thing though, bitches they come they go, Saturday through Sunday Monday, Monday through Sunday yo!

  21. Pretty much if you feel the need to brag about being a player, then that means you’re not. It’s one of those things that becomes apparent shortly after speaking with others (men and women).

  22. Here are some real hip-hop names: People Under the Stairs, De La Soul, Slum Village, Pharcyde, Nas, Mos Def, Method Man…
    As with all music genres, the real artists are the ones you don’t see/hear on commercial tv/radio.
    Would you judge the entire rock genre by the abomination that is Nickelback?

  23. Kanye, one of the most powerful men in the world of entertainment, looked like a puppy dog lost in love for KK.
    So much for masculinity and taking the lead; when the big guns of the western world bend over backwards like that, you can tell the future is going to involve even more SIMPing as the west circles the drain.

  24. I love the redpilldarknenlightenmentmanosphere, but you guys need to stop acting like only compete to get something that is wanted by others.
    Markets have known this forever. Men have monkey brains too.

  25. Ike Turner: say what you want about him, but you can be sure he would not have put up with Kim K’s shit.

  26. I agree and disagree at the same time. On one hand you’re right there is some major pedelization going on in hip hop today, and I think it has more to do with appealing to female interests. The other day my girl says “Drake really does make his songs for women.” This is something I’ve noticed for a while and so has the rest of the music community, also being one of the big reasons Drake gets a lot of hate.
    Plus, there are TONS of great rock songs about the girl who got away, and rock stars were–still are in some circles–THE great slayers of pussy. Perhaps hip hop is approaching a tipping point into something close to “Indie” rockers–softer spoken, less aggressive and virile.

  27. yeah dude i agree with you on the topic of self delusional pussification in hip hop culture. men walk around like they are badasses all comparing their women to see who is awesomer. its fag shit man. they base their status not on accomplishments, but on the bitches they fuck. their measurement of success is based on if women accept them. we can all see this. and we all see how this is a way to make yourself an easy target for gold diggers.
    this particular case? meh. its all about money. this fat broad is famous and shit, and his career aint really going nowhere, so he is pullin some controversy shock value shit to get his name on tmz. but he has to save face with the ladies so he talks about how awesome he would treat her and what not.
    yeah the guys a bitch. and so are a lot of the homos they try to pass off as role models these days. but this particular stunt was a cheap cash grab, nothing more.

  28. I think Ray J made that song for a much simpler reason… to regain relevance.
    And his feature in this article is proof that his strategy was at least marginally successful.

  29. The biggest consumers of hip hop music (as in actually pays for the CD/Itunes/etc) are women. Which could explain the shift towards creating the rappers we see now. Most rappers reinvent themselves for that purpose alone.
    And lets be honest here: The “bad bitch” is the equivalent of whatever woman you would feel good bringing around your friends. Which is a determining factor for almost any LTR. That is not hip hop specific. Only hip hop has this as the main focus. But like I have said before; the entertainment types all fuck within their entertainment circle. Look at all the types of men (that we know of) who smashed kim k. 2 pro nfl players, a pro nba player, an r&b singer, now a producer/rapper. A very diverse high quality whore resume.

  30. “Truly confident, high-value men understand the expediency of maintaining
    a degree of privacy and exclusivity in their relationships, and don’t
    feel the need to completely undo that understanding in a bid to
    attention-whore like a bitch.” – Best statement ever…

  31. You act like this is something new. “You claim to be a player but I fucked your wife”-Tupac. Old school gangsta territorialism, I fucked her, you got my sloppy seconds. Only difference is Ray J seems to put the girl, and a very particular girl at that, front and center.
    But before you suggest he take a “classy, no names” approach, remember Ray J saying that bitches line up for him would make him like any other rapper. He’s smart to exploit his single claim to fame. Kim can get in the news just by gaining 5lbs. By dropping her name he reminds the world of that claim and gets to piggyback off her near constant media presence for 5 more minutes. It’s not about longing, it’s about trolling.

  32. since when is ray j the typecast for hip hop? that fool is baby soft rnb! ar-ab is keeping it 100. Your just assuming these new pop hop guys represent hip hop. pull your g string up and listen to proper rap, stop calling drake and co hip hop and you’ll be fine

  33. Couldnt think of a bigger waste of time and non issue. Rap is gay. Nothing more beta and childish than the world of hip hop. Petty man boy pseudo alphas saying nothing new or intelligent. Dont even get me started on the latent down low gay world in hip hop. Angry fatherless man Children from single mothers doing nothing but putting everyone else down to boost status in world of empty materialism. Am I missing something?

  34. Ray J is taller thank Skanktrashian? How is that possible? He is as tall as a lawn jockey.

  35. If anything, the one man who should make a song about “hitting it first” is the lad who actually deflowered Kim Kardashian, yet he doesn’t out of self respect and chivalry.

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