Everything Is Just A Hobby


I turn my shoulders and walk out of the room. Out of the building.

A feeling of freedom creeps over my body. I smile, looking ahead to my next venture.

This was the final day of my previous job. A job I enjoyed – until I realized I must try something new. So I left

Too often people paralyze themselves by assuming they will work their job forever. Or remain with the same girl forever. Don’t make this mistake.

Your job, girls, lifting weights, reading, writing, playing sports, traveling – are all the same. All hobbies. The moment you become overly invested in anything – you lose. You risk an emotional downfall when it comes to an end, expectedly or not.

Furermore, becoming overly invested in any one area generally kills your performance across the board. Imagine that girl that you lost it for. All you could think about was her, whether you were with her or not. First of all, your mind is absent when you’re at the gym or at work. Your productivity goes down, and so do your lifts. And it doesn’t end there. The fact that you put her on a pedestal causes the relationship to go stale. She gets sick of your intense affection and leaves. The house crumbles.

The same phenomena occurs when you get lost in your job. Picture the attorney on a big case that neglects his diet, exercise, sleep, even his family. Maybe he wins the case, but his life goes down the drain. He gets fat, depressed, divorced, and loses his kids to his wife. All because he put too much importance in one area.

When you make the shift and view everything on an even playing field, something changes. A natural balance emerges. You can enjoy spending time with your girl(s) but also look forward to hitting the weights, reading a good book, or hanging out with your buddies. Everything has its place. Nothing should be neglected, nothing should be placed on a pedestal.

One way to make the shift is to view everything as a hobby. It keeps things fun, light, and playful. You stop taking yourself so seriously. And as a result, your performance and enjoyment in every area is raised. If you don’t get the girl, whatever – go work on your business, or enjoy that book.

No single area can make you. Or break you.

Read More: You Were Born To Follow

24 thoughts on “Everything Is Just A Hobby”

  1. Very good, I agree with this mindset, for almost everything. But there are a few exceptions, mostly your body and mins integrity, and your kids (if any).
    I mean, this works great for first world problems. Now lets say you get gang-raped, in a prison, everyday, for years. When you leave the place, will you smile, looking ahead to your next venture?

    1. My Grandfather was a prisoner of war when he was 16. He was held under clear sky on a fenced field among several other boys for a year – snow, rain, hail, burning sun, abuse from the guards, sleeping in holes they shoveled with their bare hands – and he survived.
      He told me that when he realized everything was over, it was the biggest relief of his life. I don’t know if he smiled back then, but he looked ahead for his next venture. He became an architect and built the house I grew up in.

  2. What about the professional sports player, don’t they devote their lives to winning championships? Sure they aren’t like the lawyer in the article neglecting everything else in their lives, in fact professional sports players have to eat healthy, work out, and be well balanced as well. But they do devote their life to that one goal really.
    Are they overly invested? Not really, they’ll come a time for them to retire, but for those years, that is their goal, and with that will come disappointment and let downs if they don’t win, but is that necessarily a bad thing?

    1. Then look at this guy, he won several marathons, last year they found out he was on doping and he got kicked out and humiliated (only because he took it too seriously and crumbled instead of taking it with a “not giving a fuck” attitude that would have prolly saved his career). He has cried for days in front of the cameras interviewing him only to catch human desperation and the effects of what happens when you invest too much and lose something. After all it was only some fag marathon. He explains how all he did for years was sleeping 12hours a day, eating 4 hours and training the rest. Neglecting friends and spending little time with his woman (also an olympic athlete). He couldn’t even drink a fucking beer.

    2. Star athletes are an interesting case. Their talents peak well before the average man hits his professional stride. Even if you have championships and accolades under your belt, sports are a prime example of “what have you done for me lately.” It would be stupid for someone to waste their physical talents when they have them, but I think most star athletes, having dedicated several decades to their sport, must feel a great emptiness once their time in the spotlight has passed. The smart ones will have hobbies, interests and maybe a media/coaching career lined up to fill out the 30-40+ years after retirement. Most of them (NFL/NBA at least) end up bankrupt within several years of retiring. With no or crap degrees from college, they may be limited to signing autographs at conventions. Never winning a championship would suck, but being a loser at life is worse.

  3. Deluge of MGTOWs and TradCons commenting on how this sort of thinking destroys society and we would have never built civilization up this way in …. 3…..2…..1

  4. Some good commentaries here. One could even argue the Life itself is a hobby, as was stated previously here that no one gets out live. And the source of a lot of human male anxieties on Earth is simply comparison of our financial / resource success with other men. It’s superficial but we all do and will always do so. But the fact remains that every man no matter how rich or poor has the exact same net worth upon death; which is a rockem-sockem $ 0.00. Very centering in the final analysis. I’m not suggesting to live like a bum and not work, but at least not get to caught up in the dick measuring contest that men usually get into that calibrate how much tangibles each of us have.

  5. My problem is I am terrible at balance. Im not a man of moderation. Everything I do must be done to the nth degree or I won’t even take it on. Personality flaw I guess. It does help with accomplishing goals but man do I get worn out from it.

  6. But… what if you invest too much in making everything your hobby? What if you become obsessed with ensuring everything stays in hobby-status?
    There are definitely some things you should be prioritizing. Work is definitely not one of them. Respect is, though. With enough respect you can move mountains just by raising your eyebrow (exaggeration, I know). That’s something worth becoming obsessed about.
    Like I was obsessed with learning how to fuck like a champion when I was 21. So I got a nympho girlfriend. 3 months later I was too intense for her in bed. Now I got that card up my sleeve anytime I want it. No matter who I pick up I know I can fuck them till they’re numb. As mastercard would say, priceless.

  7. There is nothing manlier than working towards a goal of some kind, whether it be to best bodybuilder, best attorney or best CEO. A true alpha male can find a way to be the best with all focus while at the same time maintaining his body and his women. This industrious attitude is what great empires are built on.
    What a shit, buddist-like article. Read a biography on Kingdom Brunel or MLK and tell me they are not manly.

  8. Great writeup. Very zen. Helps to keep things in perspective. I think men in particular are prone to take everything extremely seriously, so this mindset helps to balance it. It allows you to own and enjoy your hobbies and interests instead of them owning you.

  9. This resounds with “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” speak, which I staunchly stand by in terms of women, careers, and even loot. There’s too much out there to be overly invested in just one particular thing. For example: my last few careers have been air traffic control, dental hygiene, paramedic, and firefighter.

  10. One of the best posts on ROK. Achieve this mentality above all else and your life will get much, much easier.

  11. This is a good article, but the debate it provokes is where its real value lies. Let’s look at MKdelta’s response — (my emphases, not his.)
    MKdelta: “There is nothing MANLIER than working towards a goal of some kind, whether it be to best bodybuilder, best attorney or best CEO.”
    Suppose, my dear MKdelta, one doesn’t give a flying fuck about being ‘manly’? Suppose you just want to have fun and get laid a lot? There are many successful players who are hardly ‘manly’ at all by YOUR definition of the term. In fact you would have nothing but contempt for many of these characters — but they’re getting laid and enjoying their lives and don’t give a flying fuck what people like you think.
    MKDelta: “This industrious attitude is what great empires are built on.”
    So if you want to be an industrious empire-building kind of guy, go ahead, drive yourself nuts, we applaud you *clap.* Bully for you and all that. It’s not for everyone. Me, I’ll have another gin-and-tonic, thanks.
    MKDelta: “What a shit, buddist-like article. Read a biography on Kingdom Brunel or MLK and tell me they are not manly.”
    Brunel and MLK are certainly manly. In fact they’re ragingly manly, and great role models for those who are thus inclined. But that whole way of thinking & living is only an option; there are many alternatives, and each way of life has its defenders and detractors. You’ll never please everyone so you might as well try to please yourself first (but if you are so constituted that your greatest pleasure IS pleasing others, or earning the approval of certain others, then by all means continue on that path. It’s a perfectly normal sort of human makeup — one among many dozens of others normal sorts.)
    A great saying is “Lead, follow, or get out of the way.” Be a Brunel or a MLK, or follow such men and be a contributing and valued member of their great enterprises — or don’t! Get out of their way if it’s not your bag, and do whatever you want. There. Solved. Not so difficult, is it?
    As for the buddhist angle — buddhism is one of those all-encompassing religions with a niche for absolutely every personality type and lifestyle imaginable. First of all, there are many subtypes of buddhism; second, there is no single authoritative scripture of the religion. Buddhist sacred writings number in the MILLIONS of pages, meaning justification can be found for practically anything in human life. The manly hard-charging goal-directed empire-building engineer politician is as welcome in buddhism as the flipped-out, feckless, unemployed, vegan freak. In buddhism, there are infinitely many ways of progressing toward Nirvana; if your current guru disapproves of you, just find another one who is more in line with your tastes. (It’s really a silly religion — but all religions are fundamentally silly. And don’t correct me on my estimation of buddhism, it is irrelevant to the thread, and I won’t bother to reply because I couldn’t give two shits whether I’m right or wrong about such a trivial subject.)
    Finally, I just want to say that these comments of mine, including my recent responses in http://www.returnofkings.com/12375/the-easiest-way-to-overcome-a-depression , are directed exclusively at men, young and otherwise, who do not have children or other dependents. Just in case there is any doubt!

    1. “Suppose, my dear MKdelta, one doesn’t give a flying fuck about being
      ‘manly’? Suppose you just want to have fun and get laid a lot?”
      If you’re putting women at the expense of your dreams and careers, you have a major problem. I deal with many people like you on a daily basis. You’re the same kind of guy that is content living in a studio apartment in a shit area of town because you have a working toilet and a mini fridge and don’t need any more luxuries in life. You’re the kind of guy that smokes weed every day and compares work to prostitution.
      You may not want to hear this: but there are people out there that devote a good chunk of their lives to their dreams while still getting tons of pussy. Pussy however, is not the singular focus in their lives.
      A man gotta do more in this world than eat sleep and fuck like some chimp.
      As for lead, follow and get out of the way: its called alpha, beta and omega. Yes, applies to work. Your view on ambition is the PUA equivalent of a 25 year old, 300 pound gamer not willing to compromise his piggish lifestyle to get women.

  12. Like it or not, people who have achieved greatness – whether it be in science, in business, in sports, or most other things – usually put their entire lives, their entire being into what they are doing. Yes, they usually wind up sacrificing other things in the process, and yes, it is a gamble. But when you’re intensely passionate about something, there’s no other way.
    There’s just some things that are understood to be like this by nature. Becoming a doctor, for instance, is one. You have to spend years rotating between grueling shifts and using whatever spare time you have just to regenerate for your next set of shifts. Your friends and family rarely see you. Most other professional degrees (PhD, etc.) are also like this.

  13. I concur. Until you start valuing yourself for who you are, rather than what you do, or what you own, you’ll never be happy. Essentially, anything we ever do, we only do because we want to. Interestingly enough, this means that the most “selfless” people, are usually the most selfish, and are probably products of dopamine addiction. Donating to charities is almost like the SWPL equivalent of a junkie doing heroin…
    Everyone has their vices, everyone enjoys different things. Do what you want, ’cause that’s what everyone else is doing..

  14. 1. Mark Flowers is a true dedicated Christian but a non denominational and non church going Christian,
    a praying man upon his knees and he gives all credit to his survival to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as his savoir and protector of him and his loved ones. Mark has to continually break all curses in Jesus Christ’s name, sent by witch craft and the Satanic agenda.
    2. Mark Flowers is a fighter, a man that will never bow to any evil corruption, to DEATH.
    3. Mark Flowers has had the fatherhood of his children stolen by the masons / system / The Australian Government.
    4. Mark Flowers is a survivor of more than a decade of intense murderous Freemasonry Gang Stalking {a term he coined} and raised in the Federal Magistrates Court Parramatter Sydney Australia in 2009 & 2010 whilst defending his rights to father his children.
    5. Mark Flowers has had so many attempts on his life in the process of Freemasonry gangstalking that they are too numerous to list, most have been whilst driving in road traffic accident setups by gangstalkers . But all manner of threats have come against Mark Flowers, One time a sour mason wielding a hammer at Mark’s head got a lesson in respect and kicked off Mark’s property. The police always fail to follow such death threats against Mark Flowers.
    6. Mark Flowers has self-represented in some 60 appearances in the Federal Magistrates Court, the District Court and the Supreme Court in Australia and all with nil formal education, in fact Mark left school at 14 years and first job was in a lumber yard.
    7. Mark Flowers is a Father first, and a former children’s safety film producer, but the dogs of gangstalking were released on him for doing so. Mark has been fighting ever since and will never give in, as the eternity in spirit and fear of God through Christ Jesus motivates him to be fearless against evil.
    If I fall in this good fight it will be into the arms of my saviour Jesus Christ.
    Brother Mark

  15. I agree with you to a certain extent on one hand, but on the other hand you can still develop deep and lasting relationships or fulfilling careers that you stick to in life and focus on whatever you’re doing at the time. I don’t think about work when I’m with my girlfriend, and I don’t think of my girlfriend when I’m at work. But I think looking at everything as a hobby puts things in the right perspective in that there’s having a connection and being needy and overly attached.

  16. WTF is this site coming to… it’s like the male version of Cosmo…..
    The next article is going to be about stopping your balls getting sweaty and what to do when you have a bad (pubic?) hair day…. mark my words…..

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