You’re outside, feeling good about yourself. You’ve finally gotten your approach anxiety under control with your first few experiences and now you’re looking at a very different world. What a glorious world it is! A whole universe of women you’d never be able to meet before is now suddenly open to you. While you may be tempted to approach nearly every attractive woman you see, I have one piece of advice: hold your horses!
Debates have long been held in the community between mass approaching versus selective approaching, the so-called “shotgun versus sniper” theories. I personally tend to take an in-between route, an “assault rifle” route, if we continue those analogies. Waiting for everything to be aligned, such as you receiving an approach invitation or for conditions to be “perfect” is a way to severely limit your opportunities. On the other hand, mass spam RSD-style approaching is a good way to waste your time and get you blown out en masse, which will immunize you from any pain of rejection, but is good for little else.
So, what is my third way then? In short, I approach a lot of women, but I focus my approaches on women that I think are likely to be more interested in me from the start. It means I will do less work and receive more benefits. I run a mental checklist in my head before I approach, and if all systems are go, I do so.
Before I go into the rundown of what that checklist is, I want to say one thing: look good. Looking good and dressing well will simply mean that more and higher quality girls will be more interested in you from the beginning. You don’t need to be a male model, but you should at least be above average. I don’t think this is entirely necessary to use this approach system but it will get you the most out of it.
Now let’s go over the signs I look for before I approach:
1. Is she attractive enough?
This may seem somewhat counterintuitive since you shouldn’t be approaching unattractive women in the first place, but I always ask myself if I’m sufficiently and genuinely attracted to a girl before I do anything else. I don’t waste my time approaching “so-so” girls whom, while I would bang, I don’t want to put much effort into.
I only approach girls I have a very real and raw sexual attraction to and desire for. This helps to keep me mentally grounded and adds to the authenticity of my approaches. I have always been a direct action kind of a guy and the way in which I approach women is no different. It may not be for everyone, which is fine; this is simply how I do things.
2. What is her age in relation to your own?
It’s well-known that women tend to have a preference for older men – not much older of course but just…older. I can confirm this from my own data in my approaches. As girls get closer to my own age or older, the difficulty is raised slightly, while girls several years younger than me are usually quite receptive and I walk away with at least their phone numbers more often than not. For this reason I think that your efforts would best be spent on girls that are two to eight years younger than you are.
With a little bit of experience you can generally tell how old a girl is (usually within a few years) not just by their overall appearance, but their choices in fashion and the like. This instinct won’t always be accurate, but it often will be. Do this and you will likely be surprised at how well you can do. I am not saying to limit yourself to this group of course; I’m just saying that you will likely find the most success with them.
3. Does she look open to being approached?
This is a bit more subtle, but you should be able to hone your instincts with only a small bit of experience. And yes, I do say instincts because knowing what girls to approach is in some ways instinctual. You will have an inner voice in your head encouraging or discouraging you, one that has been honed over billions of years of evolution and designed to find a mate. This voice is rarely wrong, so listen to it!
Before I go into further detail, I want to say that, much like above, you don’t need to limit yourself to girls that fall under this category, as I have approached women that did not look like they wanted to talk without many problems. All I’m saying is that you will likely find more success with girls that display some of these signs.
Signs your girl is likely open to a chat:
– She is walking slowly.
– She is looking around at different sights as she is walking, often somewhat wistfully.
– If seated, she is looking around, again often somewhat wistfully. If she is reading or on her phone and often interrupts herself to look around, she is likely just trying to pass some time and is still open to a chat.
– She stops to look at something for a while (I like to open girls that do this just after they begin to move again).
– Her body language is open and she makes slow movements (aside from just walking).
– She is taking a lot of pictures of the scenery (might seem counterintuitive if you haven’t done it before, but I’ve had a lot of successful approaches with girls like this).
– She looks happy.
These are just a few that I commonly notice. Some of you out there might notice some other recurring signs. If so, please post your experiences in the comments. I’m all for any suggestions to improve my own game.
4. Does she give you an approach invitation?
You should know what these are by now. Even just the slightest hints of a smile or even repeated eye contact without expression are approach invitations. If you receive one, approach immediately, and approach direct. Reward her for treating you well.
By going through this checklist and being just a bit smarter in your approaches than the typical guy out there, I am confident that you will be able to increase your success rate by a dramatic amount. It’s rare the man that actually approaches women without a pretext. Rarer still is the man that approaches the right woman in the right way. Smart target selection, I believe, will help you see more success and boost yourself to that rarified status of the self-actualized man with total confidence.
Read More: Gaming In School Is Not Enough
The irony is that in today’s world, women tend to give more stress than actual relief.
Agree, but you can’t give up searching. That’s why I do not understand the MGTOW movement. I don’t think a man can be complete without feminine energy to balance him out. You just can’t have all yin and no yang without going crazy.
Yang is male energy: piercing. Yin is female energy: accepting. I agree with the pretense though.
I think a lot of those guys got burned by women and they’re just not open to changing their worldview that they may need to improve themselves
I tend strongly to the MGTOW side of things. I work on self-improvement a lot. I work out, I still don’t know how to dress, I generally try to improve my lot. Throughout the year, I’ll have a couple of women prepped and ready to go, it’s just that right now, women aren’t really important to me. I am actually far more likely to be approached, these days. Then again, I did get fairly ruinously burned by an exwife.
Just as rape can fuck up a woman’s perception of sex the rest of her life, divorce rape can fuck up a man’s perception of women for the rest of his life. Outside of that, dunno, I don’t know too many 18-21 year old guys doing the MGTOW route, hormones have a way of overriding all reason, heh.
Well MGTOW can have girlfriend but cannot engage in marriage. Woman in america are evil and cannot be trusted. I understand that normally we should be with one but know that it is possible to live without one. WOman today are simply not normal. babyboomers fuckup everything.
I always check if a girl has a sense of humor, before talking to her more. The sad part is very few have this quality.
The sad part is if you went by the writer’s criteria in many countries, you wouldn’t be approaching much at all since few western girls meet these standards.
Agreed, here in NYC area this stuff rarely happens.
Humor requires personality. Good luck finding that in most Western women.
The best girl will like being teased
Figure out what (if) she reads and you can base a great deal on that.
It will likely be bullshit YA novels, though.
I think your 2-8 year rule is a bit limited and probably a result of your anglo/western social brainwash. It is not unreasonable for a late 40’s individual to pull down in to the mid 20’s. Depends on the individual.
Rule is half your age and add 7. Works whether you are 20 or 50.
That rule is stupid. I was 32 and my GF was 22 when we started dating. When I was 29 I dated a 20 year old.
Date young, smart, fun and hot. Don’t worry about a number.
Both of those examples are damn close to the rule 32/2+7 is 23, 29/2+7 is 21.5 Your example kind of proves the rule more than anything
Exactly what I was thinking! Gundog was a little too quick on the neg trigger.
Why would any 50 year old man want to date a used up 32 y/o woman? IN fact why would anyone want to date a girl much over 25-26 unless they had an attraction to women in decline? The rule makes no sense given men’s sexual value goes up over time and women’s fall. At 26, women have crow’s feet eyes and wrinkles being covered largely by face cake makeup. When I am 50, I will still want 16 y/o tight virgin pussy.
You’re still dating around at 50+?
At that point it’s going to be difficult to game young girls without resorting to being a sugar daddy, or having large social status.
If you are only encountering 26 year old women with wrinkles, may I suggest you find women who do not party and smoke like it’s the end of the world? A healthy 26 year old woman won’t have a wrinkle to be found on her. That doesn’t start hitting till mid 30’s for a reasonably healthy woman.
Agreed. I have to say that I find women in their early to mid thirties highly attractive if they are well-maintained. With all of knowledge about skin care and maintaining youth, even a 36 year old should have VERY FEW wrinkles.
The smokers, tanning bed addicts, heavy drinkers and party whores will age much faster – but why would anyone want one of these filthy people in their bed? Give me a 32-year-old feminine woman over a 25-year-old smoking club whore any day of the week.
Exactly. My wife is in her mid 40’s and has consistently taken care of herself exactly as you prescribe. Results: She looks far more attractive than many late 20/early 30 something women. She has very few wrinkles, and the ones she has you have to look really close to see.
It’s just not that hard to do, chicks. Don’t be club whores, don’t drink like sailors, avoid smoking, maintain a svelte figure and use moisturizer. Ta da.
Yes Stacey, dating at 50+. One of your sisters in the Sisterhood read the requisite Eat, Pray, Love and discovered that despite being married 20+ years to a decent, honest, loyal and caring man that she wasn’t “haaaaaaaappy”, so she divorce rapes him and dumps him to the curb to look for greener pastures.
The delicious irony however is that ultimately she discovers that an old woman has no chance in the sexual marketplace, and ends up alone at home with cats sneering “Where have all the good men gone!?”. He ex, however, has discovered that he doesn’t need a woman in his life to make him feel whole, has expanded his horizons and taken new career risks, has gotten into prime shape at the gym and suddenly is attracting women half his age to the point that his social calendar is filled nearly daily.
Your delusions about sugar daddy and social status are woefully out of date and driven simply by accepting feminist assumptions as legitimate, sugah.
I’m a guy. Named after a basketball player in the 80s (Stacey Augmon), so I really don’t need the anti feminist shit. You’re preaching to the choir.
Regardless I have never seen an old guy get that much young ass unless they’re rich or have status…. And getting into shape and successfully taking career risks is building status… Which is actually proving my point.
Care to point out an average 50+ guy that constantly gets 20 yr olds without exercising any power he may have?
Sorry about the name confusion, it’s been a long, long time since I’ve encountered a man named Stacey, though I understand it used to be at least somewhat common a long while back. Mea culpa.
Care to point out an average 50+ guy that constantly gets 20 yr olds without exercising any power he may have?
In fact, I can’t point to *any* man of any age who gets any woman of any age, who is worth having, without exercising any power he may have. Game is power (psychology transformed into practical charisma).
Regardless I have never seen an old guy get that much young ass unless they’re rich or have status
A 70 year old, no, your observation applies. A 50-ish guy, sure. Not every 50 something, in fact not many, but some, yes. Rich, not necessarily, but you have to consider that to a 20 something chick (young 20 something) the fact that you can afford a nice drink or two and can afford a car/motorcycle pegs you as ‘rich’ on her radar.
Status, which spurs pre-selection and initial interest in women, can be anything and applies equally to young males. Spergy Millenial hipster boys have zero status and as a result generally get no pussy or get landwhale pussy at best *and they’re thankful if they get that*. Millenial men who have their shit (career, style, charisma) together get women their age. The rest seem to more and more be flocking to older men (see my post above). Our status? Shit dude, I don’t know, more like a combination of a lot of shit, not solely our place in the social hierarchy.
Agreed Ghost. I ‘m 48, wifey is 40. Everyone thinks we are much younger due to healthy lifestyle. 20 something chicks are dying for attention and chat me up anytime i feel like giving them a bit of my attention. Found out most are attracted to the way I dress. Spend an extra dollar on clothing and the girls notice.
Nice post GOJ. Stacey ought to realize the importance of taking any thought, impression, memory, lesson etc. and very carefully analyze that thought, looking for any evidence of the feminine imperative anchoring the thought. Most of current gender relation thoughts that men have are simply due to them being mouthpieces for the F.I. without knowing it. The shaming comes through their own system automatically. How many guys would feel some vague guilt for going to Cuba and having a two-week affair with a curvy 20 year old? That’s the F.I. coming straight through you, using you as a microphone. For example, Stacey mentions a ‘sugar daddy’ role as if it’s somehow derogatory. It’s the best role in the world! Assuming you’re in some Southern hemisphere country and not in the ridiculous states.
You always get a woman by exercising the power you have. The power comes in different forms. THe feminine imperative restricts males from using powers that end up leaving women disadvantaged. THe fifty year old taking his cash to the Phillipines for example. Oh! The shame! When it’s really just flat natural.
i am too……i’m 56 and i do not have any age “rules” i go after what i’m attracted to……..
Men’s peak age goes up later but it also declines. Women’s just peak and drops earlier than men.
But most women get used up earlier nowadays.
Agreed, plenty of health conscience women look good into their 40’s…
No. It’s a result of experiencing what works for me.
I’m still in my 20’s though, so when I age I may have a different opinion from new experiences.
I get hit on quite aggressively by 20 something women, many times lower 20’s women. Very aggressively, as in hand me their number unsolicited, etc. I’m married and in my mid 40’s. Not sure if it’s always been like this or not, but my gut tells me likely it used to be closer to what you’re talking about. There’s a dearth of masculinity in the Millenial generation which I think explains most of it, they seem to target older masculine men a lot more these days.
Really what choice do they have?
On the one hand they have some wuss bag skinny boy (or fat neckbeard) guy covered in tats without meaning, with a huge ugly beard, who sits around talking about how much he loves feminism and shares and cares his feelings to the world while drinking a $7.00 coffee. He likes to snuggle and has a special pair of grown up pajamas printed with special My Little Poney memes (for irony, right?) he likes to wear while drinking cocoa.
On the other hand they see a tall, hard edged muscular guy who probably hasn’t “shared a feeling” with anybody in his life that didn’t involve disappointment with not achieving consistent grouping with his newest rifle during his last trip to the range, who works on his own motorcycle and looks like he has, at some point in his life or the other, engaged in some form of combat, rolls up and says “Hey”. Sure, he’s a little older, but….well…whiny hipster guy is giving her a headache and has caused her pussy to dehydrate.
Good insight, gent.
Thanks man. And to keep it from sounding like I’m a supremely awesome sex god (I am, but I don’t want to sound like it), this happens to some of my other mates as well who are at or near my age, figure mid 30’s to early 50’s.
It would suck to belong to a generation of “guys” who lack so much masculinity that their fathers have to fuck their women on their behalf.
Well, it sort of does, but it makes the game so much easier for guys like me.
What I see around the neighborhoods every day is downright appalling.
It has to be a virtual smorgasbord for you. I won’t lie, it kind of makes me feel a bit weird to have a 23 year old walk up and gush all over me when I was just sitting there talking to some buddies. Not bad at all, mind you, it’s a great ego boost if you’re having a shitty day, but still, weird. I look at these chicks, hot little pieces of ass, and think “Man, she was a senior when my son was a freshman”. Were I not married I’d have a rotation of them going full time though, it may be a bit weird but it’s not *that* weird, heh.
What I see around the neighborhoods every day is downright appalling.
Yeah, I really don’t get it either. Ok, education and indoctrination and other shit, but these waif-boys have to be seeing the *attractive* women their age going for masculine men instead of them, right? Wouldn’t that be motivation to at least question, if not change entirely, how one approaches life? Or has questioning been bred out of the Millenials entirely?
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mccr6fQXkP1rik6e9o1_1280.jpg
I don’t see this “guy” questioning anything, even if he never sees a naked woman in his life.
You see that shit and you just wanna punch him in the throat, doncha? Well, I do anyway.
Christ, what a lost generation of losers.
I’m with you 100% on that.
I just shake my head now. Any guy who lets himself look like that and hold up that sign deserves whatever life gives him at this point.
If you ever run into a guy like this, simply ask “how does it feel to have men AND women have nothing but contempt for you?”
that, hopefully, will get the gears goin in his head.
edit: socially engineered losers. it aint entirely their fault 🙂
Yeah, I know, that’s why I mentioned education and indoctrination. Still, they’re human beings and presumably have *some* testosterone in their system, at some point you’d think that they’d notice that things are awry and that women do not like their omega-boy lifestyle.
Not worth it. Ive gotten suspended too many times breaking these faggots faces at school. The system protects them. Intimidate them at best, or at worst just downright humiliate, just dont completely blast them or youl get the guidance counselor on your head with “cyber-myber-cis-fagg-midation”
Sad but true. I’m trying to work with younger guys and give out as much advice as I can (because it is pretty sad what I see out there with this new bunch of so called men).
I saw it, today, at work. A young guy had on a winter hat that I usually see on women looking for attention (or these my little pony guys). I told a young guy working with me “If I ever saw you wearing one of those I would kick your ass….as a favor”. He laughed and said “please do…you would be doing me a favor”.
It was too funny yet pretty fucking pathetic to see it in action right in front of us. And it’s no wonder women, today in their 20s, are just left with each other…or the company of an older man.
Yep…that sign should just read:
“I gave my balls away to a woman passing by, just now”
It’s fucking pathetic to see
GOJ,
You’re knocking it out of the park all over the place. Very good stuff. I like your call-out of ‘irony’. Thread jacking a bit here; I no longer allow people to exercise irony. If you wear pajamas then you’re a fag. No irony card can be played. Irony is such an entrenched gimmick in our culture that people simply act out how they really are and can always call ‘irony’ while making their points, expressing themselves without the accountability. It’s having your cake and eating it too, I no longer allow it, at least in my appraisal of them. I recently saw an old acquaintance on FB who I never got along with. I vaguely remembered how he was always the guy suspecting other guys of being gay. Early 20’s bs, no big deal. But I saw a photo of him recently out of the blue. Photos rather. Restaurant party The photo showed him (ironically) mugging for the camera with his buds doing the ironic touchy, fake funny kissing ‘We’re so far from being fags that we can play like we’re fags on camera just to be funny, because we’re so clearly not fags’ He had his fingers on his buddies nipple with an over the top tonguey near kiss. It’s ‘We’re not fags so we can act like fags to be funny’ frat guy stuff. Well, guess what? You’re a fag…You grab a guy’s nipple then you’re a fag. “But I was being ironic” Sorry, no. Faggot. Now his behavior makes sense. If you grab your buddy’s nipple then you’re a fag. No humor, no irony. Irony is for fags.
Education and indoctrination.
Isn’t that the truth? I get to meet and work with young men from all across western Canada, and it really is interesting to see the different levels of indoctrination. It gives me hope, however, when some of these guys show up straight out of university with their feminist approved worldview, start experiencing real life, and then begin questioning why the two aren’t the same. Young men are capable of thinking (which is why our education system discourages it so).
no shit……i’m 56, short (5’9″), balding, and have a respectable beer belly………..i’ve found all you need is a pair of balls, and eye contact, eye contact, eye contact………..holy shit
hehehe. Trust me, not unusual at all. Especially if you are in shape.
The 2-8 year rule is fairly accurate in my opinion, given that the age ranges specified by some of the (I hate to phrase it this way) higher quality* women on dating sites are usually exactly this range.
The reason for this is these types of women generally do want their partner to have more masculine energy than themselves, which is typically a combination of his greater experience (ie. he has to be older) in contexts which are still relevant to her life (ie. he isn’t so much older that she feels she has a superior knowledge of her world). In short, she doesn’t want to feel like she is ‘dating down’ in any respect.
I see this all the time as men approach women in my bar.
That said, if a man greater than 8 years her senior appears to maintain relevance to her world, she very well may adjust the upper age limit for him.
*describing ‘quality’ by standards consistent with those stipulated by most articles on this site.
I should have qualified better. I travel regularly to Latin America where the age difference is almost non existent. I am 49 and regularly date 20 somethings.
Great article. I’ve learned, through experience, to keep sort of the same mental checklist before approaching. Many of times, if I’m extremely attracted to a girl, I’ll just walk over to her and open her with: “hey…how’s it going?” to screen whether or not she’s friendly.
Hmmmm……
Some tidbits that I picked up:
If you want to truly break your boundaries approach some women on the street. What to look for? Look for a woman who took the time to make herself look amazing. If she looks amazing, she will appreciate the introduction to you. If you are extremely new to street game go talk to the hottest girl you see and spark a conversation. The shock to your system and her’s will shock the fear right out of you and her andd be disarming enough to get a genuine response. Go in as soon as you feel it. Command it. If she shoots you down, so what? You just talked to the hottest chick you saw in a while. Take that energy, know that you should have no fear, and use whatever fear that is left to energize you just enough so that every approach you do that day is fresh.
They aren’t necessarily any happy people. A bit of the new way of thinking is you have to know something special before you approach. Can that noise. You own the joy. You own the emotions. It can be intimidating because some of you don’t get that just yet. She may react a certain way. She can be mad, recently dumped, fired, recently engaged, about to take a test, etc. Be joyful, you are gonna get laid by the hottest piece of ass you can find. And it was all you! Limit the women you approach to the girls you’d love to bang, learn from your failures, know every no will lead to a yes, build on the girls you approach as the fewer you approach the more you will sulk if you fail, and build on yourself.
Hey, the Game is to be sold, not told! Just joking… But that is the best genuine advice I have heard concerning the Game in a long time. But it works outside of just approaching women. When we really learn to embrace our Reality ( the Reality that we create for ourselves), all people, not just women will be drawn to us. However, creating that Reality can be very difficult. There will always be circumstances, people, or situations that attempt on a daily basis to knock us off of our center. We have to become the masters of our emotions. We must be the Rock!
“Judging women based only on her looks?! That is oppressing women with PATRIARCHAL BEAUTY STANDARDS!!!! How dare you do that TO US?!!!”
-Socially retarded feminist.
you don’t fuck her ‘good personness’
In light of the recent barrage of brainwashing, why take the risk of
cold approaching a women on the street? Looks can be deceiving, and the
chances of running into a rabid leftist and fueling the fire of the
“street harassment” meme don’t seem worth the trouble anymore. Not to
mention if she’s not feeling it for whatever reason some chivalrous ogre
will jump right in and strongarm you in a lame attempt to get her
number himself. Nope, better just to let women open you, or stick to
meeting women who have qualified themselves as interested in meeting men
through dating websites, events, friends, or groups.
Or a better idea: game a chick starting off with her thoughts on street harassment. Sit back and watch the magic unfold.
Don’t let rules corner you into accepting sub standard dating partners. While you are sitting back for women to qualify you, other men are adding to her carousel run through.
I wouldn’t say sit there and do nothing. Obviously open the women who show interest. As a black man, I just cant open up any white woman on the street. Well, I could, but more often than not, I’ll be wasting my time with women who have no interest in black men.
What’s been working for me is to establish eye contact and see if she responds with a obvious green light signal. Then I know it’s worth my time to approach and at least give it a shot. I know I’m not wasting my time.
I disagree with your assessment only because it is settling. I’ve worked in sales and as such, know, sometimes several no’s can lead to a yes. While waiting for the girl to bat her eyes and indicate to you silently, say hi, you are missing out on several other, potentially better suited for you women, because you want to be safe.
Your body and mind will pick up, unconsciously, several different ways the lady could be saying, hit on me. It is easier for a novice to avoid focusing on that because 1) they don’t know all the signs and 2) deciding if the signs are powerful enough to make the approach safe slows momentum. Slowing momentum seems small but your presence and immediate desire are enough to let her know you want her. The words said are less important than what your body says.
your second point is valid and it goes back to what I was saying about picking up on a “green light.” Many different ways to skin the cat.
I just approached on the street today successfully (usually not my favorite place to do so).
Don’t let the SJW memes get to you. Maybe in the minds of delusional SJW’s “street harassment” is a thing, but not in the minds of normal attractive women who you should be wanting to interact with anyway.
Look and dress good and don’t act weird and it’s all fine. I have never had an experience like you’re describing.
Would you still recommend day-game for ugly guys or would you say night-game brings better results due to dim light, alcohol, noise, etc.?
A good question. Not sure I can answer that since it’s something outside of my realm of experience, but Tom Torero isn’t exactly the best looking guy out there and he seems to have some decent results.
Ultimately you should do what works best for you, and work on being better looking (as everyone should).
depends on the kind of ugly.
If it’s like Trujillo ugly, leverage it into a gangsta look. If it’s like Buscemi Ugly, work the rocker angle (rockstars are universally ugly) If it’s like hideous scarring, wear a half mask or something like that to make it romantic and work the most interesting man alive thing (keep coming up with outrageous stories for how you got scarred, usually with a punchline) That’s day game (my specialty) If it’s like John Candy Ugly? You need to work on your shape first before you can get anything but fat girls with massive problems.
Do not take this the wrong way……
Be a Fucking Ogre!!
If you are ugly in the physical sense, add social dynamic, and physical strength and learn to leverage your communication skills and physical dominance. Your best asset will be to build your testosterone level. Play sports. Pursue your own goals. Make it so at least 20 percent of your day could be hummed to the Trojan Man theme song and assert your manly traits.
You can get away with ignoring social niceties the more manly you can become.
Your categories of “ugly” are brilliant, thank you. Although, I personally don’t mind chubby guys at all, especially if they’re the physically strong chubby types. Those guys always remind me of Shrek. And I love Shrek.
Dude its impossible for ugly guys to land higher than a 7 without extreme wealth or juice. Its either extreme wealth( + 100 million), extreme juice( status, fame)+ facial attractiveness+game+well off or really like 5%physical looks witht the steroid body and model face and above 6ft2. Theres a niche for hot crazy girls who like men with big penises, but the girls are too high maintenance and frankly not relationship quality. Also, you can always try and make those cute faced chubby chicks slim and bank on that investement, but its hard bro. Hope I helped
Again how ugly? If your naturally good looking but have acne girls will consider ugly like 5 or below physical level. I know ive been both ugly and handsome, and trust me the jump is really tremendous in the quality and quantity. Im talking 2+ points without game,juice or money. Now add those 3 and your a machine waiting to chop em down.
Tom and Krauser work really hard and have mastered their craft and still cant go more than 2+ points above their looks ( im talking frequently). Its really hard if your ugly and much easier if your handsome, handsome guys whove never been ugly should not give out game advice its just too easy when you put minimal effort. Even then, Krauser has admitted he makes himself look more attractive and looks matter A LOT.
Sorry, have to disagree with you on this one. 98% of guys out there do not do serious day-game and will rarely approach an 8+ girl “out of the blue”…doing many, random approaches will eventually lead even a 6 guy (in terms of looks) to land a girl a point or two higher than him. If it fails in shithole USA there is always SEA (southeast Asia) or EE (Eastern Europe) to practice the “exotic foreigner” game. As a guy who had to deal with acne in his youth I still refuse to settle for chubby girls and try to present my “best face” and smile forward. Sure, I get rejected more than the “tall, dark, handsome” droids but to say that one cannot do better than a 7 without extreme wealth or juice is pure BS.
Look I shoot ( photos not that shooting haha) models as a part time hustle at an agency in my town, so maybe when I say 8 I mean an unicorn in your mind. In my experience what most “ugly” guys ( a 6 is not an ugly guy, a 5 is an average guy and a 6 is a slightly above average guy) consider an 8 is just a slim girl with big tits and a butterface. From your pic, if thats your real pic, you dont seem that ugly and have a good physique. Yes also lets say 25% of hot girls are down for not so appealing guys, but the majority are not. Thats where your “mass approaching” comes in. And still, brother, the “hit girls” you will land will be of the crazy variety for the most part. And yes me too I had sufered from acne too, and you cant deny the big jump you get when you fix that problem. Also “tall dark and handsome droids”, dont hate on the hustle, too many guys here hate on handsome guys using good looking game ( focusing more on looks than conversation). “Droids” are the ugly ass fuck betas who think they will land a quality 8+ girl without offering anything except “game” ( which is nothing more than artificial charisma really). They wont, and if they will its probably gonna be some crazy ass college ho ( gotta love these types!). On another point, lol at people thinking its easy to get laid in EE just cause your a Westerner. You guys are out of your fucking mind if you think there is a hookup culture as rampant as in the US with hot girls just waiting for your “game” and nothing else to offer ( looks, height, money, status, big dick, good skills in bed, culture, adaptability, fashion and good dress style). Best of regards and tell me what you think of this. If you dissagree, just state why and we can continue this discussion. You seem like a cool guy, maybe looking for a girlfriend, just know that you always have to bring something to the table.
Im too extreme in my word choice. My bad, impossible was a hyperbole that wasnt needed.
SJW’s are almost uniformly hags. If you stick to the cute, friendly ones, the have seldom even HEARD the word ‘patriarchy’
I just approached on the street today successfully (usually not my favorite place to do so).
Don’t let the SJW memes get to you. Maybe in the minds of delusional SJW’s “street harassment” is a thing, but not in the minds of normal attractive women who you should be wanting to interact with anyway.
Look and dress good and don’t act weird and it’s all fine. I have never had an experience like you’re describing.
There’s some truth to this. You don’t know which women are open to meeting a man on the street. It’s a pure numbers game. Targeting women who make it know they want to meet men sounds more feasible. It increases your chances with every approach.
Don’t think about approaching her. Just approach. If you start thinking about it, disaster scenarios will start coming to you. It’s like your brain wants you to fail. Approach quickly and your brain won’t have the time to generate disaster scenarios.
That’s the biggest problem with thinking. Your brain is a problem solver. You can’t solve a problem without knowing the variables so your brain will invent them to keep you and it safe. Your brain doesn’t want you to fail. It wants you safe and safety is always dealing with what you have already dealt with before.
Nice job of reiterating this fact Sleepy Nazgul.
Best advice for beginners: if she catches your attention for more than 3 seconds or you glance at her a second time, immediately think about how you’re going to approach her within the next 10 seconds, and then approach. Unless it’s a girl who already knows who you are (i.e. you’re at school), or you’re with your parents, the shame of rejection will only be fleeting (and will lessen with every rejection). However, I stress that every time you approach, you’re already better than 80% of men who are too afraid to approach. If you become good with smooth cold-approaches, which you will with enough practise, you’re better than 95+% of men. So approach knowing that you’re better than the majority of men, even if you spaghetti everywhere, and have fun with it.
Nope doesn’t work, you have to approach within the first second, because then she doesn’t have the chance to form an opinion of you before you speak.
It absolutely does work for beginners. For seasoned players, they go into the mode you imply: they have all their game as 2nd nature. Sure, ideally, men approach as quickly as possible, but it is far better for beginners to take a couple of extra seconds to compose themselves and get in the mood than to open with a shitty line like,” can I buy you a drink?” Those extra few seconds can give them the time to overcome their natural, beta type of thinking, and then open with a good/acceptable line.
You don’t have a clear conception of the anxiety and pressure your take will place on beginners, causing them unnecessary mistakes simply because of the pressure your method places on them.
Firstly, beginners will always make mistakes. I know I did when I was a beginner. Better they get it out the way. Second, approach anxiety only between seeing the person and before approaching. If you don’t have timebetween seeing and approaching no time for approach anxiety.
Finally, anything that comes across as canned is going to run the girl off. It’d be far better to seem spontaneous, speak with many breaks and pauses while thinking than to seem like you are thinking of approaching. The later is called “being creepy”. Much like hover hand, you are often more screwed trying to do something, thinking about it then doing it and failing than actually doing it and getting rejected.
Have you ever been approached by a girl? Any type of canned or unnatural set of behaviour, just comes across as GROSSLY unnatural. Its not that women are “better” than men at sensing this. It is that someone who is seeing an unnatural behaviour is better at sensing this than someone who is DOING the unnatural behaviour.
In otherwords, its far more easy for me to see when a girl is coming at me and intends to approach me, has approach anxiety and is taking time to think and behaving unnatural aka creepy, than it is for tha girl to know I am seeing all this.
It is far better a beginner fail 20 times thinking on his feet and come across natural on time 21, than to come across unnatural 21 times.
I am arguing it is better to fall of your bike 10 times and scrape your knee than it is to have training wheels until you are 16.
“Firstly, beginners will always make mistakes.” – Never disputed; does not harm my case.
“Second, approach anxiety…” – I said “anxiety”, not the more specific ‘approach anxiety’. You need to read more carefully.
“Finally, anything that comes across as canned is going to run the girl off.” – I called for an acceptable/good line. I’m not sure how your narrowed this down to ‘canned’. Do you not agree that ‘can I buy you a drink?’ is a shitty line? It would be better if the beginner took that extra second to think about an environmental opener and go from there. This will still seem spontaneous. Hell, even PUAs like Roosh have rehearsed openers that are anything but spontaneous, yet are delivered to feel differently. Again, this is why I said the beginner needs to be sure he’s in the mood, because if he fucks up the opener or he isn’t in the mood, he’s done.
“It’d be far better to seem spontaneous, speak with many breaks and pauses while thinking than to seem like you are thinking of approaching.” – Not with the opener. It needs to be delivered with confidence, articulation and clarity. If you don’t know what the fuck is going to come out of your mouth because you haven’t got the natural PUA mindset, then you are going to fuck up and have to think about it afterwards anyway when she tells you she has a bf. Beginners should absolutely take an extra 5 seconds to get their shit right for the opener.
“Much like hover hand, you are often more screwed trying to do something, thinking about it then doing it and failing than actually doing it and getting rejected.” – This is nothing like the hover-hand. This is thinking and calming yourself before an approach. You’re not staring at the fucking girl. You most likely glanced at her and she didn’t even notice. You assume that she caught you glancing, which is a scenario that is very rare, unless you turn your whole body and head to glance at people (which is retarded).
“its far more easy for me to see when a girl is coming at me and intends to approach me, has approach anxiety and is taking time to think and behaving unnatural aka creepy, than it is for tha girl to know I am seeing all this.” – You’re exaggerating what the guy is doing. A glance isn’t necessarily going to indicate anything, especially if the woman doesn’t catch it. Again, you assume the beginner is gawking at her like a fuckwit. He could be walking back to the table with his mates. He could be behind a pillar out of sight after the glance.
“It is far better a beginner fail 20 times thinking on his feet and come across natural on time 21, than to come across unnatural 21 times.” – You already have to think on your feet with the rest of it. Again, because you don’t understand the sentiment of what I wrote, it’s all about getting in the mood and starting on the right foot. If he starts with a natural opener that isn’t awkward, he’s off to a great start and it will help with his confidence, too. He MUST be in the right mood when he approaches, and waiting that 5 seconds is the best technique to help this until he naturally internalises the mood to be in.
“I am arguing it is better to fall of your bike 10 times and scrape your knee than it is to have training wheels until you are 16. – Why the fuck do you have to fall off your bike 10 times in the first place? Take an extra (at most) 10 seconds to get in the mood and think of an appropriate line. Again, because it litters your response: THIS DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU’RE STARING THE GIRL DOWN; YOU HAVE MERELY NOTICED HER. That way, you can get the best push-off on the first attempt.
Hernan is right. You do not need a line. Jump in and say hi. Any reaction you get will let you know what you need to about the woman. Lines are personality based and have nothing to do with the words themselves, but the attitude conveyed by the speaker. Most of your communication is non verbal anyway. New guys tend to beat themselves up over their ‘failures’. Taking the focus from the line and back to the person is a friendly reminder that a sexual approach is just two people talking in a way to assess each other and decide if their bodies deserve to meet.
You are losing sight of forest for the tree. Basically, gaming is being trained at doing improv for women to get sex. You don’t become better at improv by thinking, you just do it.
“You don’t have a clear conception of the anxiety and pressure your take will place on beginners, causing them unnecessary mistakes simply because of the pressure your method places on them.”
This is approach anxiety, you just said it in a long winded way.
If you don’t know what is going to come out your mouth you are in the right direction to it being natural. Lies, girls notice, because approaching someone is obvious. Any time a girl approached me, I usually saw it from a mile away unless I had my head down buried in my phone or something. Just like you can see the guy trying to sell you some new scam on the subway from a mile away, you can see a guy//girl trying to approach you in a similar manner.
It is far better in the long run for men to say shit that comes natural to them and they try to improve after mistakes have been made because you learn from mistakes. Otherwise, you must become essentially a highly trained actor who becomes an expert at saying one thing while meaning another.
Again, you are totally off, you have about a 2 second gap where the girl will look at you before making up her mind if she wants to fuck you or not. If you open before then you have at least a shot, even if you “aren’t her type”. anything else, substantially increases the difficulty of you getting anywhere because she already made up her mind not to fuck you.
I can’t count on both hands the amount of women I lost just by waiting 5-10 extra seconds. This is especially true if you are peakcocking. Because if you are doing it right, ie. wearing a big hat, and you catch her steering at you right away then you can open and it would seem totally natural. This is because women will never perceive you as being creepy if you talk to them after they were caught looking
You don’t get it, even if you had the best lines in the world and waited 10 seconds, you’;lll still lose the girl, she has already made up her mind.
If you want to fuck a girl, its not usually your mood, it is hers. This is where you go wrong. To fuck the girl, you have to get her in the mood to fuck. Most men under 35 are always down for a fuck.
“Basically, gaming is being trained at doing improv for women to get sex. You don’t become better at improv by thinking, you just do it.” – But your improv must be correct in its approach. This is where the couple of seconds of thinking comes into play. It will help beginners get into the right mood to improv, and it will also help them avoid saying something stupid or that is bad-game.
“This is approach anxiety, you just said it in a long winded way.” – Wrong. That isn’t wholly approach anxiety. That can be anxiety that comes after the initial approach when you don’t know what the fuck to say because you’re nervous as shit. Hence, since this anxiety comes after the approach, you are wrong in your assertion.
“If you don’t know what is going to come out your mouth you are in the right direction to it being natural.” – As I said earlier, this may work for PUAs when they have internalised the correct mindset, but this doesn’t work for beginners for the approach. They don’t have the natural mindset at the ready. They need things as easy as possible for them.
“Any time a girl approached me, I usually saw it from a mile away” – I’ve already given two common examples where this won’t be the case. Read those instead of repeating falsities. Again, a glance is rarely noticed.
“It is far better in the long run for men to say shit that comes natural to them and they try to improve after mistakes have been made because you learn from mistakes.” – Bullshit. If you’re not in the right mood, then you can’t game. You won’t make any progress if you’re out of control like that. Take the extra second to get in the mood.
“Otherwise, you must become essentially a highly trained actor who becomes an expert at saying one thing while meaning another.” – This is a recurring problem with your posts. Again, I say take an extra 5 seconds to settle yourself and get in the mood, not that you must have the next 45 mins of conversation rehearsed. Please read carefully.
“Again, you are totally off, you have about a 2 second gap where the girl will look at you before making up her mind if she wants to fuck you or not.” – You haven’t a fucking clue what you’re on about. Why the fuck would you even have to game if women wanted to fuck you after 2 seconds, you stupid shit. If I read another stupid comment like this, I’m ignoring anything else you write.
“You don’t get it, even if you had the best lines in the world and waited 10 seconds, you’;lll still lose the girl, she has already made up her mind.” – You can’t fucking read. It’s not about the best line. It’s about being in the right mood, and therefore thinking of a line that doesn’t completely bomb. Unless you address this point of mine (I’ve made it about 6 times now), I won’t read another thing you write.
“To fuck the girl, you have to get her in the mood to fuck.” – You said about two paragraphs ago that women decide whether they’ll fuck you within two seconds. File for mental bankruptcy, you colossal fuckwit. I’m done with you.
“Hernan is right.” – You’re not off to a good start.
“You do not need a line.” – You need something non-retarded to say, and the smoother it is, the better. But sure, you don’t need a line, yet this wasn’t the point of my post.
“Taking the focus from the line…” – You haven’t understood either, but you’re not a repeat offender. Yes, the line isn’t all that important, OUTSIDE of not fucking it up entirely. More to my point, being in the correct mood is essential, which is primarily why I advocate taking those extra seconds.
Whatever gripe you may or may not have with Hernan is not my concern. I only take what I relate to with anyone and what I don’t, I don’t. People usually have just enough sides to always have an area I can learn from.
I do agree about getting into the right mood, but much of what you suggest in regards to getting the right line before you approach suggests the person using the line will have the social savvy to continue.
Getting the right line also displaces the true potential in each interaction. Truth 1) Body Language supersedes words used. Truth 2) Getting the line right, suggests they are accountable for knowing social dynamic when the reason they have been dateless is because they typically knew nothing of the sort. Truth 3) Their biggest issue in getting dates will never be about the woman or line but with who they are and what they are bringing with them when they communicate to women. And Truth 4) Learning to step back from performance suggests you wish to know the person beyond what you first saw. That last truth is my biggest argument to the delayed line because you are starting off with a stereotype based on what you saw. What you are seeing isn’t the person but the image they are portraying. This is the most damaging place to start with because along with anxiety, new guys typically aren’t used to going for what they want in this area, correctly dealing with rejection, or removing stereotypes about what they are seeing.
I suggested something that is quite powerful and works in a far more genuine way, in my experience, because a man must learn the tools in his tool box. The gift of gab isn’t naturally in every man’s toolbox so more than a Hi, will shoot many men in the foot. Get that initial shock for both parties started at onset and boom, leveled playing field.
So socially newbie says, “I’ve come here quite often and can’t believe they are doing this!?” High level line given for free, use at your own discretion. This line gets him a 5 minute conversation and a number. What will he take away? This line rocks and I should use it more often! What about the next 20 women? He has a successful line and continues, it worked once, let me say that again. Out of 20 he gets 10 numbers. High odds so it must work right? Now he has 11 numbers. But no contact backs. What is going on? But they were laughing with him and everything? Why no call back? You say he needs to learn something new. I say, he messed up from stage one. He made the interaction into a performance and thought because the audience cheered he was golden. Now he has to do double work because the poor guy never got what the problem was.
In an attempt to craft a line you’ve showcased your game level. You do have a formula and due to experience you have learned how to do improvisation. A new person doesn’t have this on onset. In fact, a new person usually has a basic fight deciding why is this so hard. So I ask you this: why add an extra step to confuse when one step allows a stronger base to build from?
Getting approached by mexicans to get fucked in the ass in the prison yard doesnt count hernan…still a pretty boy like you must get all kinds of attention. Dont go gay for pay just yet man, the welfare is coming…say hi to your “white” peasants broski.
If she’s attractive enough… that’s it for me. I mean that’s reasonably rare these days so I’m not going to give a fuck about her age. I also can’t be bothered figuring out if she’s looking wistful or whatever. I’m just no good at trying to intuit all those signals on if she’s open to being approached. I figure if I’m the type of guy she likes, she will be.
All good points. I think beginners will benefit from a lot of approaches to refine their technique and get a feel for what kind of women they really want. If you’re getting a lot of rejections though, reflect on what you’re doing and make adjustments (I kept a journal for my first 100 approaches: what did I do well? what did I want to happen? what can I improve?) Out of all the points I think this is the most important: “I only approach girls I have a very real and raw sexual attraction to and desire for.” This raw desire brings out our best game in ways we don’t consciously control.
I always keep a journal of all my approaches and write down what I did right versus what I did wrong. It works. After about 50 approaches I am now getting numbers left and right, so I’ve got attraction nailed. The next plateau is to work on getting girls to invest more as well as text game to convert more of those into dates and ultimately lays.
I’ve recommended this method to someone as well. Wise words. And even wiser words not stated: the process of building attraction isn’t about you as a person but what the other person responded to.
Any protips based on that data?
Not bad, but scratch those rules. Approach any woman, and I mean any woman when you are in that mode. Obviously don’t approach unless you are attracted, being the only caveat, nobody wants to land the chick that is so fat she has two other, smaller fact chicks in orbit, you probably don’t want either of the other two, but hey if that’s your thing.
I have seen guys get discouraged after being shot down once or twice by what I consider fairly average girls. Nice guys really, they wind up settling for a rather plain girl only two watch the fat/crazy grenade explode when they get married. I know, I was one of them.
The biggest single secret to game is not to ego invest in any woman that you approach. You can’t let her opinion matter to your ego, even as you seek useful information from the encounter. Approach the hot woman. The big secret here is that a lot of times, the truly hot women scare off guys, so it actually makes more sense to head right for her. She is actually less likely to refuse the attention than the sixes and the sevens. Don’t hesitate, and don’t ego invest. There is no reason to do either.
The big secret here is that a lot of times, the truly hot women scare
off guys, so it actually makes more sense to head right for her. She is
actually less likely to refuse the attention than the sixes and the
sevens. Don’t hesitate, and don’t ego invest. There is no reason to do
either.
Amen to that man. It still amazes me that so many men are scared shitless at talking to a 19 year old Bo Derek and settle for Nancy Nobody who is a solid HB 6.5 instead. The more you approach the interstellar looking women the sooner you realize exactly how lonely many of them are (outside of their little cadre of friends).
I think this is bad advice for a beginner. The only thing that should be going through your head when you’re starting game is: is she bangable? Any other questions is only going to cause you to over think and create approach anxiety. You need to get as much experience as you can when you’re just starting out.
The article assumes you’ve already got approach anxiety under control and can now pick up on some subtleties. If you’re still dealing with approach anxiety you need to get that under control first.
Good article. Well written !
Gave me some ammo when approaching those 8+
Overall good, but I am 44 and only approach women in their 20s. Preferably mid and late 20s…but due to the lack of talent in my city, I got to approach what I’m attracted to. I’m simply not attracted to many women 36 – 42. Fuck that.
It does help that I am young looking though.
black dudes have no approach anxiety
Attention Whoring at its finest. But she does have “flow”.