15 Tough Lessons I’ve Learned From Life

After my previous article in which I shared some hard-learned ideas I’ve gained over the years, time passed and I found myself encountering more and more along the way.  As these principles would occur to me occasionally, I recorded them in my notes before they had a chance to slip away.

Below is a list of 15 more truths in particular that I’ve learned through many difficult moments in my life.

1. Be Proactive, Not Reactive

The word 'Proactive' highlighted in green with felt tip pen; Shutterstock ID 78116614

So many times I found myself being too complacent, or too “easy-going”…so much so that it wasn’t what I did that cost me;  it was what I didn’t do that created more difficulties.

Often my thinking was that I could wait for some perfect opportunity, perfect timing, or perfect people to conveniently fall into place for me to do anything from getting better women, to a better job, to a better place to live, and so, so much more.

The truth is, there’s almost never a perfect time to do something, and almost never a perfect opportunity.  Take my advice: take initiative, and make a move.  You’ll find you’re often the only one who does.

2. Thing Are Almost Never Perfect On Their Own


I was a creative boy when growing up and mechanically inclined.  I worked on many little projects over the years (cars, electronics, apartment repairs, customizing small things at home, etc) and discovered that the common factor was that in each case, improving my happiness and quality of life came from making an effort to make even small changes to things I bought, read, learned, etc.  I found I could never count on the perfect idea or perfect solution to anything I wanted to accomplish without my own hand and my personal touches.

Rather than make excuses and give up success at something you’d like to do, take a fundamental starting point and tweak it, add to it, or modify it to get a great result that makes you happy.

You don’t have to have great skills or be an expert in whatever field you are dealing with: just be creative, try different things, and you’ll find your improvisation skills will improve over time as you have a set of ideas—and confidence—to fall back on the next time.  Everyone learns through trial and error.

3. Be the the Icebreaker

Business executive discussing with her client

Over the years I’ve noticed how more often than not people will remain content to be silent until there’s one person who makes the first step to opening a conversation.  And the results are often excellent.

I grew up a very shy, quiet boy, and yet here now years later I’m outgoing and open dialogue with others.  Why?  It’s because I learned that until that first “Hello” and additional words are spoken, little happens with people. People need just a tiny indicator that you’re friendly and give them an opportunity to talk about themselves.

I am amazed at the social relationships I’ve built simply because I was willing to be the first to open dialogue and convey positive feelings to them.

4. 90% of Everything Is Just Trying (Never Fear the First Step)


As the old saying goes, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.”  So true!

I have observed so many men settling for unattractive women, living with weak, slumped-over bodies, living an average, simp life or never attempting some great idea because they simply fear taking the first step.  I recall specifically how years ago I attempted to encourage a friend to board a plane and go abroad.  Naturally, the excuses came right away.  I could read through the excuses:  it said, between the lines, “I’m too afraid.”

A worthwhile endeavor isn’t like a switch:  it isn’t a simple do or don’t…it’s a series of things or processes.  And it’s inevitable that mistakes will be made.  The most critical—and yet most amazingly simple—factor is simply trying.

5. People Are Subconsciously Talking to You


To my embarrassment I have to say that in retrospect I can see now years ago all the little clues girls sent about their interest in me; and yet I was blind to it.

People often like to think they are “sophiscated” and “complex.”  Yet in reality, human beings cannot help but express their subconscious characteristics especially in regards to how they view others.  Subtle body language, their tone and inflection when speaking, changes from normal behavior, and much more give little clues to if they’re someone you would want to be involved with or avoid as much as possible.

Pay attention…observe…and then go for it or avoid them as needed.  Sometimes it takes a keen eye and good ear, but in time you’ll see more than meets the eye, and have the advantage of knowing what to do next.

6. Never Be Afraid to Question Things


One reason we grow up in the blue-pill mentality, and suffer all of its resulting terrible consequences, is our false set of beliefs.  I’m sure almost all men with real red-pill wisdom can agree on this.

Over time I’ve come to see that what is supposed to be “fact”, or “correct”, sometimes is either mistaken, misrepresented as fact/true, or as a result of someone’s ego and unwillingness to admit error.  Additionally, it’s even worse to know that social pressure often somewhat ostracizes men who are willing to call out or simply ask questions about these “truths.”

As I’ve gotten older I’ve embraced the value of thinking deeper, asking questions, and without apology:

  • Examine the facts…does something feel “off” or questionable?
  • Does it make sense logically?  Or is there perhaps more to the story?
  • What makes this person the end-all to say something is true? (Even so-called “experts”)
  • What are the ideas based on?  Where did this come from?

Sometimes this means being the odd one out in a crowd.  Think, examine, and draw your own conclusions.  Most of all, don’t just go along with the crowd like a lemming.  Many times they’re wrong, and you’ll stay on the road to wisdom rather than being brainwashed.

7. Rid Yourself of Toxic And Negative People—Even If They’re Family

There are those people we grow up with, become friends with, or at some point interact with who seem to have a way of causing us grief and sucking away our positive energy and resources.  Rather than being a one-time mistake, over time we see a pattern and their behavior shows us that they affect us in a way that causes conflict, stress, and often MUCH MORE in our lives.  Often they have particularly destructive words and behavior that would be unacceptable in the eyes of perfect stranger, and yet they seem to be allowed to carry on with the same nonsensical garbage time and time again.

Ultimately I learned that whether a partner, close personal friend, or even family, toxic people must be cut out of your life.  They’re a “net negative”: despite a few good points, the overall result is your life is worse off for being involved with them.  And yes, I live by my own words regarding cutting toxic family members out of your life.

Toxic people are “defective” and possess personality traits like narcissism, hate, anger, insecurity, jealousy, and so forth which means you will always be a target for their bullshit, no matter how much you try to “white knight” and contribute to help them.  You are fighting a lost cause and their number one concern is themselves, not you!  They will drain your focus, effort, and peace of mind that would otherwise be spent on your own happiness both in the present & future.

8. Do Not Waste Your Time, Effort, And Concern On Those Not Worthy Of It


I have learned that many people who appear to need our help do not truly appreciate it, will learn nothing, and will continue making the same foolish/selfish/pathetic mistakes that they always have. You are simply enabling more of the same.

People who make poor life choices—who are not victims of mere circumstance—especially those with a lack of gratitude, or who do not attempt to better themselves, do not deserve your time.  I do have personal beliefs that have me feel that I would be happy to help someone truly in need—however I no longer do so blindly.

9. Put Yourself In The Favor Of Others—You’ll Benefit


Over time I have lived in a few different cities, made new friends from former strangers, and without intending to do so, ran across something that benefited me many times:  doing small favors for others, befriending them, and in return receiving better treatment or favors that others wouldn’t get.

Now wherever I go regularly or whoever I do business with I make sure to get to know more about them, learn some of their language (if from another culture), and do small favors for them to win their preferential treatment that the average person wouldn’t receive.  I’ve been very glad I did.

10. Some People Cannot Be Reasoned With


A most difficult lesson to learn, and one I was taught when I was young due to violence in my public school.  In the old days, I was a small, quiet guy who was picked on sometimes.  Violence at school and even on the bus to and from our vocational school mid-day during high school, was somewhat severe at times.

I’ll never for the rest of my like forget watching one of my best friends getting a coat thrown over his head then beaten over the head by several guys—for no reason whatsover.  That was their idea of fun.

What became clear to me extremely well was, after being attacked and beaten many times by guys I was around was this: some men simply hate you because you exist.  No amount of talking and reasoning with them will achieve anything. They are dysfunctional pieces of garbage and understand only violence.  If you are passive you will get hurt—be ready to do what you must, and do not hesitate to deal with it harshly.

11. The Hardest Opponent You’ll Ever Face Is Yourself

Man looking at reflection in window

Despite all my experience, despite all the things I’ve learned and improved (or other people I’ve dealt with, both good and bad), it never fails that facing myself in terms of fighting my own defects and deficits is an incredible challenge.

It’s not just the actual effort that it takes to examine our own flaws then change them, but often defeating our own ego and the feelings that come with knowing we’re inadequate in certain ways.  I’ve learned it’s a continual battle to change the things about you that you don’t like and never give up…it doesn’t happen overnight.

12. Never Count On Money Not In the Hand

Winning Lottery Scratch Game Ticket

Planning in advance for funds you should have soon inevitably leads to crushed hopes and disappointment.

The problem is that in the real world, things like this happen:

  • The friend who is supposed to repay your loan turns out to be a broke loser
  • Your income tax refund turns out to be a lot less than expected
  • A buyer backs out of buying your item for sale
  • Your car needs repair out of the blue, and it costs a lot
  • Your work bonus turns out to be misleading and not worth the trouble
  • The little brother gets arrested, loses his job, and now needs you to loan him money

…and the list goes on and on.  It just doesn’t work.  Don’t plan on money you don’t already have to spend.  I have had all of the items above happen to me and I’ve finally learned my lesson.

13. Never Make A Major Life Decision Based On Opinions From the Average Person

The truth is, the average person—definitely not an ROK reader—is not well versed in recent events, has a poor understanding of reasoning, today’s values, today’s expectations for young men, and much more.  With few life experiences, few struggles in life, and with no real understanding of critical thinking or listing the pros and cons of things in question, they’ll often give you ignorant, dishonest, or misleading answers for subjects they claim to know about or should know about.

I have discovered that whether out of fear for admitting ignorance or simply a lack of social skills (and the result of telling you what they think you want to hear), people often give terrible advice or completely worthless opinions.

Take it from me, you must (as much as possible) investigate as much as possible and only take advice from trustworthy people you know that have demonstrated an understanding and hopefully life experience that give them a far more intelligent, and honest, response to your need for guidance.

14. Location Matters


This is a fairly recent lesson I had to live through.  With regards to people changing locations (typically for a new job) I have seen the following written, when a person asked for serious advice about moving out of state to unknown parts:

It’s not where you are that matters.  It’s who you are and how you make the most of it.

This is a LIE!

Where you live and your environment matters a tremendous amount.  A good city with opportunities and better quality of people can help your quality of life.  A negative, depressing city or area will result in limited, if any, opportunities to enjoy life, pursue your goals, pursue women, and so much more.

Visit the area, spend time there, and make 100% sure you’re feeling it.  Never allow yourself to be pressured into making a quick decision or taking advice from those without your best interest in mind.

15. Be Open Minded And Willing To Try New Things

Where I grew up there was no “culture” per se, aside from the typical small-town mentality.  This meant a lack of exposure to many things in the world, and for some reason there still exists the illogical aversion to new ideas, foods, lifestyles, thought processes, and more.

I formerly refused to eat certain foods and certainly had never been involved with women outside of my race.  I most certainly never could have imagined I’d speak another language.  After traveling to South America for the first time, I found myself in situations where it would it would have been to awkward to refuse trying new things…and the rest is history.  I quickly realized that most of my refusal had been irrational.

After this some of the most rewarding experiences came from the “I’ll give it a try” attitude.

In Conclusion

I’ve shared with you a number of principles that I have lived through, experienced, and came to see as being fundamental to a man’s wisdom…and when observed, can improve his quality of life greatly.  Also I hope you can avoid some of the same mistakes I’ve made.

I truly believe that the hardest lessons in life are often the most valuable and prove themselves true time and time again, giving us the motivation and wisdom to grow as men.

Read More: 27 Masculine Quotes From Game Of Thrones

158 thoughts on “15 Tough Lessons I’ve Learned From Life”

  1. #13. Times 100. And remember “average,” in the pure mathematical sense, describes people at the absolute midpoint. Half of all people are somewhere between slightly below average to fucking retarded. In a general sense though, we tend to use “average” as a synonym for the fat part of the bell curve. In my experience, because of this, many people think they are “average” when they are morons. Even worse, people tend to inflate their opinions of their own capabilities based on characteristics that have no real relevance – like attaining a useless piece of paper from a degree mill. Where I live, most of these people are as liberal as you can get, and view themselves as superior to everyone else when there is nothing to distinguish them at all. If I had a penny for every time I’ve listened to one of these types spout off on something that is just flat wrong, I would have retired ten years ago.
    And this brings up an important point – be careful about taking advice from average people, but do not discount their experiences entirely. That is the mistake that democrats are making in this election. You do not have to align your life’s choices to the advice of average people, but you should remember that there are far more of them than there are of you, and if you piss them off, they have the power to crush you if they wake up to it.

    1. when you think of how fucking stupid the average person is stop and realize that he is brighter than 49% of the population.

      1. Howard Stern said something akin to that a decade ago.
        Paraphrase: “Look, I’m not a terribly smart guy, I’m about average really. And every day I look around and think ‘How fucking stupid can people be’. I can’t imagine being an actual smart person, that must be a living hell” or something to that effect.

        1. You know I never got into Howard. Nothing personal, just in his heyday I wasn’t near a radio when he was on and afterwards once he got big he didn’t seem as entertaining, but those early years do seem pretty funny.

        2. He was on a local station for a while that I happened to listen to while driving to work, this was about 10-19 years ago, give or take (late 90’s through early 2000’s). I wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to him, but if he was on I’d listen. Sometimes funny, sometimes really, really stupid.

        3. Makes sense. Around that same time I remember the guys who came in from the burbs always talking about his morning commute show. But I commuted by the subway. Sure, there was a radio receiver in my sony sport (the yellow one with the top clip) but I was mostly listening to cassettes. Auto reverse. FTW

        4. Id say he was in his prime in the 90s, listened to him on the way to high school. Check out Norm MacDonald’s first appearance, its on youtube (hes in character as bob dole for half an hr- priceless)

        5. I can say truthfully that while I was on the receiving end of many a mix tape I never made one. That said, I did give out tapes of my bands demo at such an alarming rate that the cost of blanks was getting significant.

        6. ha! I didn’t play at castle heights. That was more for the metal guys. But I knew people who did and cursed their souls every time I had to come to queens to see them. Nice memory. Pretty hilarious.

        7. shitty (but cool) bands, over the hill horny women, and underage drinking. ILOVED that place

        8. yes, that describes the place to a Tee. Bleached out hair bimbos in denim skirts while dudes were thrashing on that little stage. I had a blues band that played Chicago Blues, Terra Blues, spiral lounge and places like that and I also had a new wave kind of punk band that played continental and CB’s and Limelight.

        9. Yeah I don’t think places like that exist any more…places where a 19 year old with 20 bucks could pay a door fee, get smokes from the machine, get drunk and get a bj in the bathroom and still have enough to take the train home

        10. It is in many ways. I test out above 96-98% of Americans for intelligence. I imagine most of the guys on here are in the top quintile as well. When you move two standard deviations to the right, in most areas of life that is a gigantic, exponential difference.

        11. Well, my IQ is 182. Didn’t believe it the first time, so I had it tested again.
          First time I scored 90; second time, 92. I think the fish oil helped me pick up the extra 2 points.

        12. I first saw Norm at a Yuk Yuk’s (comedy club, do they have them is the US?) in Hamilton, ON, late 80s. The emcee introduced him saying that “this young guy is great, we’re gonna lose him to the States pretty soon.
          I had tears in my eyes as McDonald told sack jokes, as in, “guys think ’cause they’re not homos, they can do homo things, like get changed in front of their buddies, next thing you know you see your bud’s wrinkly sack in front of your face. Fuck he was good.
          Sure enough, next I saw him was on Letterman. Great bit on there too.

        13. At first I was sad and lonely. Then I realized that I improved myself to the level I am at and that I deserved to rule. That was the day I truly gave two shits what anyone thought of me.
          If you are intelligent, dumb people will try to use your empathy against you while telling you you are a ‘bad person’ at the same time. They literally (hitler) have no other avenues to beat you.

      2. Don’t remember when or where I read it..
        Keep in mind how stupid the average person is, then remember the other half is even more stupid.
        Listen to the average dumb fuck take their opinion on board, but DO NOT make decisions based on average advice. Surround yourself with much better than average people, like on ROK…

      1. No, but loads of people got rich by understanding how average people think and playing on that knowledge to make them fork over cash cf. the entire self help industry.

        1. Indeed. Sometimes I think I am totally in the wrong line of work.
          Heck, look at the “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” series… the Rich Dad doesn’t even exist and people lop up this stuff like it is candy.

        2. The real genius is in not just having the idea but in taking the gambles that make it real. Whoever wrote those books is now one rich mf’er. Sure I have thought these things I could do 100 times but I have never placed my current financial health on the line to roll the dice.

        3. True, packaging is everything. I did read one of the books in the series (I never bought any of them) and from what I gathered it was generic advice on starting one’s own business as being the key to becoming rich but nothing concrete.
          The narrative style however was very engrossing. It was hard to put the book down until I got to the end even then I felt inspired to “do something.”
          Maybe people are more interested in hope than help.

        4. “The narrative style however was very engrossing. It was hard to put the book down until I got to the end even then I felt inspired to “do something.” ”
          Exactly my reaction to that book too. It gave me false hopes although for some reason it did shape my thinking about wealth differently, and is a reason why I don’t bash banks or debts (good debt) like most people here do. The one thing the book doesn’t ever touch is how important who knows you matters in business deals. It’s easy to say that “if” you control an asset with nothing down and the asset produces positive cash flows you’re good but it’s another one to actually go to a bank and ask for $1m with nothing down.

        5. I’m not sure.
          “Rich Dad” may have existed.
          Before Rich Dad Poor Dad became a bestseller, Robert Kiyosaki was invited on Oprah and she (or more likely “her people”) supposedly did a background check to make sure the story was legit before having him come on the show.
          Robert Kiyosaki also as a podcast and one of the later episodes supposedly has “Rich Dad”‘s son “Mike” from the book as a guest.
          But even if he did exist, I’m sure a lot of liberties have been taken and that it’s more like “loosely based on a true story”.

        6. Kiyosaki has given many different versions of who the “Rich Dad” could be. I vaguely recall that he was supposed to be a guy who owned a lot of property in Hawaii but property records couldn’t substantiate that. Then he posited that he could be a “composite” of various positive influences in his life.
          That’s all and good and all, except his books are marketed as “non-fiction.”

        7. No one ever seems to mention the actual core ideas he’s putting across in the book (the first one): a/ if you want money listen to people who have it/make it, not those who don’t. b/understand deeply the true difference between assets and liabilities. c/own your own business or income producing real estate. d/have multiple streams of income.
          I have found all of those to be true and vital principles of wealth generation. And they hold true for the richest people I know personally. One makes over 20 million a year in income, and is worth over $500 million. Started on his dining room table with nothing but a good idea.
          As for me, I retired at 36. For a couple of years at least.

        8. That goes back to my original point.
          No one gets rich by listening to financial advice that comes from average people.

        9. It’s very true that you have to associate with like minded people but the problem is that millionaires don’t necessarily want to associate with wannabe millionaires. In fact they even seem to detest that.

        10. I have not found that to be the case, for mentoring anyway. Socializing, yeah. Forget it. But the majority of very successful men over 50 love to give back, predicated on two things: 1. they like you 2. you have some sense and will follow their advice. You have to find some connection or relationship to get on their radar. Cold calling likely will not work.

    2. Technically, you’re describing the median. “Average” would be the mean, which is usually not a very insightful number. What is the average income of these three people: 24K, 33k, and 6 million dollars a year? Median, just like the line in highway, divides any group into two halves, above and below that line. Usually a much more revealing statistic.

      1. Yes, you’re correct. I suppose that the real point here is that most people are idiots. Of course, the way this play out depends on how the individual numbers are distributed. So the question is, which line is lower, the median or the average? When we’re talking about intelligence, I don’t know that either measure would be helpful.

  2. #6. Young men don’t realize how little they think critically. It’s not enough to just say “that’s bullshit” about something, you have to go one step further and be able to explain yourself. I started questioning many things late in life (late to me, like age 26+), and you have to start with your core beliefs. I was raised as a Christian, my church was evangelical, but my parents were pretty lax and never discussed Christianity much at home, so my friends and church were the biggest influences on me, they were full blown Churchianity types (search the term at Vox Day’s blog). Anyway, I’ve spent many years mulling over this religion, and I had the evangelism beaten out of me at a Christian college where there was an emotional altar call at every chapel (3x a week). Anyway, fast-forward to today and now I’m reading a book on Hell. The book is going over the merits of traditionalist hell and annihilationist hell (one is eternal conscious torment, the other is complete destruction of body and soul, or non-existence with no hope of resurrection). I was raised fully brainwashed in the traditionalist view, but this book, by Edward Fudge (Fire That Consumes) has changed my mind to the annihilationist viewpoint. For some of you, this is like discussing the particulars of different breeds of imaginary unicorns, but for me, whose core beliefs were steeped in all of this, it has been groundbreaking. It has helped open my eyes to the revelation that my pastor, my friends, and other very smart people I knew growing up were, well, they weren’t as learned as I thought, or never brought this up, or didn’t think about it.
    I also play drums, and I blindly followed what my teachers taught me in 4th grade about how to hold the sticks. Decades later I learn that I was never finding the sweet-spot on the stick where it has the most rebound. I also was never taught how to use the bass-drum pedal properly. It’s amazing how the internet can overturn your preconceptions.

    1. A priest taught me that you make your own living hell if you don’t make virtuous choices.
      That was 30 yrs ago. I haven’t yet found a better way to describe it.

    2. “Annihilationist hell” sounds like heaven. Apparently if your remains are disposed of in the Ganges river, you are lucky enough to not be reincarnated.
      Sounds like your incompetent drum teacher owes you your money back

    1. Challenge accepted

        1. I don’t know, I was just seeing if it could actually be overemphasized since you said it can’t.

        1. Cause Truman was too much of a *pussy wimp* to let MacArthur go in there [shouts]
          Thornton Melon: and blow out those Commie bastards!

        2. that movie was one of the greatest. I email the clip where he schools the business professor on construction to people at least once a month to people

        3. “What’s a widget?”… “It’s a fictional product, it doesn’t matter”… “It doesn’t matter?… TELL THAT TO THE BANK!”

  3. Disagree with #10. It’s an unreasonable phase boys go through to become men, otherwise they are prone to becoming raging losers in relationships.
    Although there are better ways to channel it in modern times.

    1. Try using facts and logic to explain a political position to someone with whom you disagree.

  4. Anyone know how I can sign up for Deus Vult? I really want to but never seem to get prompted to do it.

      1. I am not sure what you consider the holy land…for me that is 57th street to 96th street and it doesn’t need liberating, it is doing just splendidly.
        Also, I am not sure that full plate over chain mail is really the way to go for urban combat but there are others here who can speak to warfare and weaponry better than I.

        1. I would jumble it and say suit and tie is appropriate any time….Crusades, Urban Combat, Renaissance Festivals and Suit and Tie events…

        2. plus, the narrow visor reduces your peripheral vision. I have no problem with this because when I lose one sense I make up for it with other senses. Like if I lose my sense of sight I compensate with a heightened sense of humor. But not everyone can do this.

        3. A little off-topic, but since you’re a New Yorker and I’m curious… Which kind of gym do you go to? Here in Europe, I use Holmes Place, for its good quality/ price ratio, and they are everywhere, from Berlin to Lisbon.
          If I were to need a gym in your city, which one(s) would you recommend, and which kind of “human fauna” (fatties? hotties?)and equipment (swimming pool, fighting sports areas, etc.) should I expect? Price is not an issue for me…

        4. This is actually something I just revisited. I have had a passport membership to Equinox for years. THis gave me access to all of the cities clubs (20 or so) including their pools and rooftop sprint tracks. The gym is filled with all the latest equipment, is sparkling clean, trainers will re-rack your weights when it is slow and offer tips or spots. The locker room is posh and spotless. All in all I think Equinox is a just fantastic place to be. You will also be surrounded by stone cold hotties who are there for cardio or the classes. The cost was 240/month
          That said, I just left Equinox last month and joined an old fashioned barbell club. No women. Shit amenities. Old equipment. It is a legit old school barbell joint. Price 70/month. I plan to go back to equinox after my winter bulk next spring but I want to be focused and serious and inspired and when I walk in this place and I see people deadlifting over 500 and squatting over 300 and just big fucking strong dudes I feel the need to push myself.
          There are loads of different types of gyms in the city (and millions if you count all the faggy crossfit boot camp shit) but if money is no object then I would say your only choice is Equinox for the super luxe, hot chicks, state of the art equipment, excellent trainers etc etc etc or old fashioned barbell club. If you tell me what part of the city you will be in I can point you towards one.
          All the other gyms like NYSC and Crunch and blah blah blah are all just cheaper versions of equinox so if money isn’t an object go with the real thing. All the mini fagfit gyms are just knock offs of real barbell clubs so if that is your thing go there.

        5. It’s especially appropriate at funerals and weddings (but I repeat myself).

        6. Thank you! That gives me an idea of what’s available.
          I am still gathering information, so it is too soon to say where I’ll be living, the only thing almost certain is the period (2017, first six months, possibly beyond that too). We are trying an expansion, my associates are deeply interested too, so, things are still cloudy…

        7. Very cool. Well keep me posted. If you get to town I will show you around. Make sure you miss the standard tourist pitfalls and get right into the good stuff.

    1. You can actually toggle the pop-ups that appear on different websites. To do so, go to the homepage (that’s where the primary script is usually located) and simultaneously hit ALT + F4. This allows you to turn on/off these pop-up subscription notices.

      1. I have been using that line for things for years….nice try unabashed….nice try

        1. What model you have. The older models have a shortcut toggle motion you can use buy slamming it on asphalt. The newest models have changed this; just drop it in the toilet.

    2. I signed up just to stop getting those effing pop-ups, yet I still keep getting said pop-ups. WTF?

    1. So…voting for Hillary, are you?
      He may be a blowhard, but she’s an absolute mafiosa murdering bitch. How can any sane person support her?

      1. hold your horses there GoJ…..Mafioso folks may occasionally use unscrupulous methods but also have a code of honor and rules they follow.

        1. Well ok, that’s true. I stand corrected.
          Henceforth I shall refer to her as a bitter, angry, murdering, slimeball, criminal cunt.

      2. No fish are dogs.
        No dogs can fly.
        Therefore, all fish can fly.
        You should be smart enough to know that just because a person is vehemently anti-Trump doesn’t mean that person is pro-Hillary. It’s called affirmative conclusion from negative premise.
        Fact is, I’m not voting for president. Can’t bring myself to do it for any of them.

        1. You should be smart enough to know that just because a person is vehemently anti-Trump doesn’t mean that person is pro-Hillary.

          Except this is how our elections play out. Third party candidates act as spoilers more than anything else.
          Not voting for Trump, or staying home, is helping Monica Lewinsky’s ex-boyfriend’s wife.

        2. Actually I was just attempting to draw out an answer from you since you’ve evaded this question for a few weeks now. And now I know. Thanks.

    2. Sure, he’s a narcissist. But that doesn’t bother me much. I’m much more concerned with someone that wants to blame my kind (white men) for every problem in the world, start WW3 by provoking/attacking Russia, promote radical feminism and mass immigration for all of the western world etc.
      Like it or not, that narcissist at least pretends to be on our side. If he actually is, that remains to be seen (assuming he’s elected).

  5. Implementing numbers 7 and 13 drastically improved my quality of life, and they both connect with one another. Toxic people will not only drag you down, but they’ll also impose their beliefs on you through what they package as “friendly advice” when it is anything but that. Their hope is for you to cave in to their wishes and fail, which keeps you coming back to them, and then the cycle rinses and repeats itself.
    I never felt so low as when I dated a toxic woman, who introduced me to her toxic friends, but through her actions also unveiled the toxic friends surrounding me. When I finally wised up and dropped that bitch, I removed about ten other people from my life, including two who I considered to be good friends, but who revealed their true character throughout that one year. The first couple of months were tough as I felt kind of lost, but after a while, I finally recognized the giant weight that had been lifted and felt free for the first time in a long time. Nowadays, I can spot a toxic cocksucker from a mile away and cut them off before they even try to latch on. It is a valuable skill to have because it saves you time and energy and helps you maintain your sanity.

    1. I’m going to go with the #7 and #14 combo.
      Yes, get rid of the toxicity. After starting college, I would somewhat regularly return to the old neighborhood and hang out with high school-era friends. None of them were really college material, but that’s okay, I figured the same approach they used to get through high school would help them find a path in their adult lives. I fully expected to see some of them go for vocational training, get into heavy construction, open up a garage and fix cars, that sort of thing.
      Well, that didn’t happen. Not a one of them. Their part-time fast food jobs became full-time fast food jobs. Then the drinking. Then the drugs. And the stupid risk taking – doing stupid shit out of boredom, not the good kind of risk taking. Then one day someone called me up from jail asking for help. I believe I had an organic chemistry mid-term the next day. I hung up, and not only never talked to any of those people ever again, but never went back to that town again, either.

      1. I totally understand. It was hard enough for me to go to college, and I earned it. No sympathy for those who CHOOSE a pathetic life.

    2. Tesla posited that when we understand vibrations, we will understand the universe. People definitely have individual vibes or frequencies, kind of the wavelength their thoughts are operating on.
      Once you tune into it and become sensitive to it, you have an immediate and almost always accurate take on what kind of person they are. I don’t see this as silly or ‘new age’ but simply a level of scientific reality we are not very aware of.
      When Marconi said he could send sound waves through the air using invisible, unknown ‘waves’ they literally had him locked up.

    3. Exactly. Once you see it and learn the tell-tale signs, you can go the other direction immediately.
      You’re not going to gain anything from toxic people, only be drained. Why stay and suffer? They also won’t accept your input or better themselves. It’s a waste of time.

    1. Because the phone help her get infinite attention from men while filtering the betas. She doesn’t have to meet up to get attention.
      Iphones are the new diamonds.

  6. Good Stuff.
    Thank you.
    Numbers 1 and 4 can’t be overstated enough. It’s only now, in mid-life I fully understand their importance.

  7. #10 could be those types are infuriated by weakness. Talking oneself out of a confrontation can be regarded as weak and only enrage them further. It’s that smell of fear thing I think. They pick on quiet ones because while there are quiet badasses, there are silent types who aren’t. They are proverbially poking the silent guy with a stick to see what he is made of. Hence your last sentence of dealing with it harshly is the only one that works in stopping the bullshit. Someone pokes you with a stick, knock them the fuck out, bet they don’t poke anymore.

      1. Yep, there is wisdom in choosing ones battles, but that doesn’t mean being a doormat.

    1. A dog barks because it’s scared. Good fighters are humble because they are not scared. People who talk too much are the weak and scared ones. Frauds and fuckboys talk too much.
      Talking is barking.

    2. I remember going places when I was younger, minding my own business, and yet I was given the “stink eye” by some guy clearly looking to causes problems with a complete stranger. There is no rationale behind that.
      That’s not counting the multiple times when I was a small guy having to deal with being the target of violence and having no idea what to do.
      And talking never worked either. Raising boys without a knowledge of how to defend themselves or understanding their enemy is a guaranteed way to ensure they get their ass beat, and likely multiple times. It’s horrible. That’s not parenting.

      1. I know what you mean. I still get the stink eye on occasion, although much less frequent now but it still happens. Was at a bar the other night with my neighbor, we’re at our own table sharing war stories generally having a pleasant time. He goes to the pisser and I notice a guy and his wife giving me the stink eye from the bar on other side of the room. I ended up giving them a “I’m crazier than you are” look back, the wife broke first then the dude finally looked away. They left a few minutes later. Some people are just fucking weird.

        1. That’s interesting, and unfortunate at the same time. But I know from personal experience that it can happen just that way.
          I will never forget how years ago (when I was smaller, and a passive guy, unlike now) I was in Colombus, GA, either in a restaraunt or something and some guy with his friends gave me that look, to me a complete stranger, as if he was ready to start something just because I was there. And other similar experiences, too.
          I could kind of see behind his eyes a slightly anti-social, insecure, dysfunctional personality because that’s the type who just hops at the chance to harass/start trouble with a potential victim.

      2. Bullying didn’t exist back when boys carried .22 rifles to school to get in some early morning rabbit hunting around the same age the training wheels came off their bycicles

  8. Most important things I’ve learned:
    1) Come OUT of your comfort zone. I was always risk averse and seeking for stability in life, but living too deep in the comfort zone will only harm your development. You will end up living in your own protected world and lose touch with the real world.
    2) Don’t fight things you can’t change. The system is how it is. People are how they are and politicians will always place their own agenda above that of the common people. History will always repeat itself, because human nature doesn’t change. Do you really want to dedicate your life to changing things in the world? The world won’t be some hippie utopia. It never was and never will be.

    1. Your first point is called enlightenment and transcendence. It is a sage’s life goal to become centered within himself and indifferent to others and all worldly concerns.
      Even using ROK protocol by recording his booty call with an insane western Tinder slut this “lucky” Chad is still on trial
      Your second point is good though.

  9. “The truth is, there’s almost never a perfect time to do something, and almost never a perfect opportunity. Take my advice: take initiative, and make a move. You’ll find you’re often the only one who does.”
    The perfect moment is when you realize for yourself there’s no perfect moment.

    1. Great point. I posted a comment over at the Reddit.com TheRedPill along those lines. Women are often the worst, despite things beyond your control and extremely harsh I once got shit from a “good” woman for things I went through.
      Lesson learned!

      1. Everyone loves a winner and hates a loser but bitches are the ultimate fair weather “friends”.

    2. Worse than that they will smell the blood in the water and instinctively attack you/kick you when you are down. Homo sapiens are predators by nature

  10. 10. You can’t discuss with these guys, it is senseless. You have to break their jaws.

    1. Yeah, or at the very least dont back down when they attempt to intimidate you or your friends.
      Those who had an easier life simply do not understand the harsh reality that this is – sometimes it’s you or them.

  11. Just want to add what a great point this is:
    7. Rid Yourself of Toxic And Negative People—Even If They’re Family
    I’ve never been as … at peace … as after I told my mother that I never want to see her again.

      1. It isn’t. The only hard thing about it is shame and guilt. I hardly ever used to think of my mom after I moved out of home. I felt guilty about it, but it’s what it is. Deep inside, I just don’t care about her.

        1. She is female and one of the 2 people responsible for him being subjected to life. What more do you need?

        2. That’s good because indifference probably causes her more pain than hating her. Any attention, even negative, is preferable to a clunge than ignoring her.

    1. Been there, done that.
      Many people have a blind loyalty to their mother.
      I am not one of those people. I have always recognized her for the evil harpy that she is.

      1. Interesting comment. Do you think the blind loyalty is natural or due to social issues such as the prevalence of absent fathers in many kids lives?

        1. In my case it would absolutely be social issues. It’s a thing with certain Southern European Catholic ethnic types.

    2. I’ll second #7. The one positive about my Mom suddenly dying was it allowed me to purge my so called “family”.
      Peeling the fucking parasites off of yourself is one of the best “self help” remedies in existence.

        1. I called my mom yesterday while my father was at work. I swear I heard a mans voice in the background. When I asked her what that noise was she acted like her phone was losing reception. I asked her about three times, same shit and no answer. I then ask if that was a mans voice I heard and she’s says no but the way she said it and her tone I just knew she had to be lying. She then tells me it was the crinkling of a chip bag. I’ve been struggling with the so called madonna mom complex lately, I’ve been noticing stuff about her and been coming to the conclusion that she is no different than any other women. Not sure why I’ve typed this on here but fuck dude I’m going through some serious cognitive dissonance right now. My brain is scrambling like it never has. I almost wish I had concrete evidence because this being almost sure she’s cheating but having no real proof is driving me nuts. Not sure if my mom really is cheating on my dad or if I’m just projecting all this on to her. I don’t know, maybe I just can’t accept the truth.

        2. Heh. I wish I could empathize, but never having had a father, I frankly was kinda glad whenever my mother had anything like a boyfriend. But yeah. Your mother is a whore. Not yours in particular. They all are. As you say, why should they be any different from other women? Mother is just a word. It’s still a woman. Don’t know if this is helpful. I guess not.
          As for not being sure if you are right about this … maybe all you need to do is accept the fact that you may be. And then it loses a bit of the importance.
          I had a similar cognitive dissonance recently. I have been on these sites for about two years now. But curiously, there was a barrier that was holding me back from facing truth head on. It was the language barrier. I was reading and writing these things in English. But I live in Germany. My parents are Czech. When I speak a different language, it’s almost as if I’m a different person sometimes. Different indoctrination, word-value associations etc. So then I happened to read some German forum posts … and in that moment, the truth kicked in. And I think for the first time, I truly felt the pain of the red pill and having been lied to.

        3. To be honest I have always been red pill in a lot of ways. When I found this website all it did was confirm things I knew. It was nice to know I wasn’t the only one who realized these things. But I guess I’m still a beta boy when it comes to viewing my mom. Lately it has been sinking in. I have always built up in my head that she and my parents relationship is different but lying to myself that way is as blue pill as it gets and you are right, whether she is or isn’t I need to accept that the possibility is there just like any other female on this planet. It’s just one more “truth” turned out to be bullshit, this one was of my own doing though. I’ve seen the way you reference your mom, I guess that’s why I thought it was appropriate to share this.
          I think I now know what that pain is.

        4. I don’t know where I read this, but it was basically the idea that we grow up thinking in black and white terms. One example of this is the mother-vs-whore archetype. I think the article said that as a part of growing up, we have to learn to reconcile both archetypes into a whole. So … she’s both a whore and a mother. We don’t have to choose one over the other and thus miss out on a half a part of what life is.

    3. Yeah you have to finally accept some truths about those who are negatively influencing your life. Then you can begin to cut ties and not feel a false sense of obligation or guilt. And most importantly, be at peace in your life!

  12. “I have learned that many people who appear to need our help do not truly appreciate it, will learn nothing, and will continue making the same foolish/selfish/pathetic mistakes that they always have. You are simply enabling more of the same.”
    I recalled how once i thought how cynical of an elder when he told me not to go out of my way to assist someone complaining about a problem because they’ll resent you for thinking you’re superior to them even after accepting your help. A whole new take on kindness for weakness.

  13. Hey i just wanna thank ROK and the community for explaining so many things and answering so many questions . When a i firs got into the manosphere i just liked to read a few articles here and there but was still in denial and often didnt apply was i was reading in real life becaus I still wasnt sure . I’ve been through severe depression , anxiety and suicidal thoughts. (keep in mind that if you’re going through any of these stages no woman is going to help you , even they genuinely wanted to ,they’d end up making things worse for , whether its your mom or your therapist , forget about it). Anyways i feel a lot better now but I still have a lot of work to do.I,m 17 and trying to open my business , and create a phone app.

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