A Motorcycle Will Help You Attract More Women

Despite my other failed game endeavors, I have some techniques that have proven themselves to be perennial. Throughout time, men have acquired accessories to woo and seduce women. Anything that helps a man reach poosy paradise is considered a good buy (barring chloroform). Whether it be an article of clothing, jewelry, or even a dog, these things take on a whole new level of value to them. Sometimes, things don’t appear like they will help you with girls, but do. Other times, all you can think about is how this potential possession could help you. If you are looking for a new angle to take your game to the next level, fear not for I have the answer: a motorcycle.

Riding a bike is incredibly fun in itself. Every man who has two wheels thoroughly enjoys it and feels a part of a larger community of riders who love the open air and freedom. A road that evokes hatred from someone who commutes there daily suddenly becomes a fulfilling journey when the helmet is on and the throttle is being twisted.

But there are other perks to riding that deserve special attention: The effect it has on women.

Anyone can call this “Biker Game,” but calling it that does it the disservice of removing it as an ingrained part of your life which you carry with you forever. If you take it to 11 and tattoo your whole body, run drugs and guns, and buy yourself a clubhouse, then you may call it Biker Game. For me, and the majority of people who own a bike, that is not necessary.

If you don’t already own a motorcycle, then you need to do some searching. Mine is a Harley with 1200CC’s. Anything above 600CC’s will do, because the bike needs enough power to be able to do its magic. Instead of being overwhelmed with the wide selection of variants, stick to one brand and go from there.

For the sake of comfort for you and your passenger, as well as masculine appeal, a cruiser or touring bike is ideal with their large displacement V-twin engines. Stay away from the cuck-scooters like sport bikes and mopeds. Once you have selected which bike you like, taken the necessary riding courses and received your license, you are ready to break the levee of Snatchtown.

The Vibes

“I just looove someone who rides”

A biker cultivates an air of mystery. What comes immediately to mind when you think of “biker” is an aloof free-spirited man who traverses the country. He rides because he wants to, and likes to be in control over his machine. Without the motorcycle, the biker loses his identity, and with it—his allure.

Aside from the ultra delusional feminist who lives in her own bubble, bikers are thought of as being entirely male. That is a good thing, because an activity that is exclusive to men will carry with it the “penis monopoly” effect, where the activity/hobby by default oozes testosterone. The same effect can be seen with American football, Rock n’ Roll, and working construction. Riding a motorcycle is as masculine as fighting a bear shirtless.

It doesn’t stop there. What you wear when riding is just as important as having the bike itself. Leather jackets and denim pants work in tandem to create an aura of manliness that surrounds you both on and off the bike. Leather is mainly worn by riders for its protective properties, but the added aesthetic appeal is certainly a bonus. Not only that, but the smell of leather only further adds to your masculine presence.

Sometimes when upping the level of her attraction for you, all that’s needed is you smoothly riding up to her place, dismounting, taking your helmet off and placing it under your arm, walking up to her slowly, pulling her close with one arm while letting her get a whiff of you, and saying in a low voice “lets go for a ride.” That’s it. Tingle city.

Carry yourself as if you are imposing your will on the world around you. The earth doesn’t rotate under your bike by itself, your bike’s back wheel is what makes it spin.

Physical Stimulation

She’s definitely warmed up

What if I told you that the motorcycle itself can build attraction in your girl without you saying anything? Does it game her as you sleep? Does it tell her how cool of a guy you are when you’re not around? No, it massages her nether regions.

Think of the motorcycle as a means of foreplay. Even if she is in no sexual mood, sex will be on her mind after hopping on the back with you taking the helm. Girls love the vibration the bike causes to their clitoris and all the while this is happening, a pavlovian association in her mind is connecting you with her vibrating vagina—essentially making her biology betray her by whispering in her ear and saying, “feels good doesn’t it? You should totally breed with this guy!”

This is the reason I was suggesting before that your motorcycle be at least 600CC’s. 600 is good, but more power equals more arousal.

Logistics

As with any foray into the bedding of girls, having bad logistics can be a serious cockblock if not managed carefully. Picking up a girl in public and taking her for a ride is thrilling, but going from bike-ride to cock-ride can leave some questions.

Here’s an example: My routine when employing biker game was to go into the approach with the goal of setting up a riding date where you pick her up and take her somewhere, whether it be an ice cream stand, or whatever. I used this as the date to increase attraction, while riding on the bike biologically made her frothing to begin with in order to always keeps her in the mood. Then, I offer to take her back to my hot tub with a few drinks, and segue into the bedroom. Rinse, repeat.

At the bare minimum, you should be using the bike’s power to guarantee you sex on the second date. Both dates should include riding, with the first always ending in a kiss attempt. If you cannot go for the bang by bringing her back to your house, you should aim to do it at her place. All roads must lead to sex, or her riding privileges end.

Conclusion

Do not doubt the poon-harpooning power of the humble motorcycle. Lifting weights, learning a martial art, making money, and improving your style all give you a better hand to play in seduction. While all these are imperative for any man who reads any of these types of sites, something as simple as getting on two wheels can be easily overlooked in your arsenal.

Read More: 3 Reasons Why You should Ride A Motorcycle

495 thoughts on “A Motorcycle Will Help You Attract More Women”

    1. Only to other guys who know enough about bikes to bust you. The bishes won’t know or care.

    2. Different biker communities bust on each other– hence junior’s comment:
      “Stay away from the cuck-scooters like sport bikes and mopeds.”
      Ride what you enjoy. No rider actually gives the hindquarters of a feral rodent what others think of them.

      1. talk about dressing for the slide, not for the ride.
        Not sure which slide this guy is dressed for, but man of man something is sliding into something and he is dressed appropriately for it.

        1. Doing a web search for hello kitty bike made me a sad panda.

        2. and, to pull back to the last article and discussion on privacy, now the shadow government knows you are a flaming homo

        3. I will let them ride with that assumption, so maybe they will cast me in a cell with a bunch of defiant, thin hot women because “he’s a fag, it doesn’t matter”.
          Planning man, you always have to have a plan.

    3. Any bike will do it, really. I was just being facetious but at the very least you want the bike you’re riding to increase your T levels just by looking at it

  1. Bah! Screw bikes! Nothing beats a Lamborghini:

    Besides, you have more room to fuck her in a car than a bike.

    1. Disagree. Biker radiates “bad ass”. Lambo radiates “I may be renting this or daddy let me ride in it” most of the time.

        1. I *love* lambos. I’m saying that a properly dressed out bike with a bad ass biker on it will attract all kind of women like gnats to honey.

        2. I have too much experience almost literally swatting away female attention because of being a biker, lol. But ok, sure, lambos look really sweet and if you drive one you will get a handjob from a pretty girl.

    2. Note though the supreme confidence here. It’s not just the car – its the guy’s game that gets these chicks to get in. He assumes the sale the whole time. Very confident, even when they say he’s weird, he just keeps directing them to do what he wants. If there was any crack in his frame, these chicks would think he was a sketchy fucker and would bail.
      Bottom line, strong game wins, weak game would get you arrested for this.

      1. Exactly. It’s about how badass you are, not which vehicle you use.
        I love it when they say, “You’re so weird. I don’t even know you!”, he just opens the door and they shut up and get in. LOL!

    3. when I was taking a girl home, the whole time she was on the back, she was stroking my dick and playing with it. I nearly crashed being so close to orgasm

  2. Ok, so before I start my comment, I hope nobody takes it where they think I’m trashing bikes or biker culture in general. I would not mind buying me one later on. But here’s the thing: depending on what you do in your daily life, motorcycles aren’t very practical. You can’t carry many things like groceries or tools. You can’t carry a family around. You are vulnerable in an accident. And for some reason, there are quite a few assholes riding around motorcycles. Bikes are for the most part reserved for cruising around.
    And yet, this is a good example on how women can be materialistic and frivolous. They don’t care about everything that I listed above. Just like with BMWs and Lambos, as long as the motor can make their vajayjays purr, they will date any dick they want.

    1. In CA, since lane sharing-splitting is legal, they are an eminently practical way to commute to work. I got about 30min to an hour of my life back every day, and enjoy the commute vice endure it.

      1. If you work in, say, an office setting, it’s actually not a bad idea, considering you don’t carry much.

        1. Well… the biggest issue is the summer and the heat. You will sweat. Mesh or perforated jackets help quite a bit, but you need to commute to work early in the morning or have a place to shower and change when you get to work.

    2. Yeah. One look at Best Gore will put you off owning bikes. At least if it is an expensive sports car, I’d have more people attending my funeral, just cause.

      1. Of course, most of the accidents in Bestgore occur in Thailand, but can’t fail to miss the point.

    3. You’d be surprised how much one can carry on a bike. Backpacks are good for beer runs. If you have a full dress bike you could pretty much carry anything you would in your car too.

      1. See, I work construction. I have to carry drills, saws, levels, wrenches, etc. Unless, of course, I add one of those little pull carts in the back. But I see your point. I suppose for a quick trip, a backpack is pretty handy.

        1. If you rode a full dress bike, you could easily carry all your tools in the compartments and still have room for beer, an extra helmet and condoms haha
          Edit: well not a table saw or a long level… but quite a few at least. 😛

        2. Every tool for its purpose. It’s why we have pickup trucks and motorcycles.
          I’m not partial to the full dress bikes, with all that it seems you might as well buy a sedan, watching those folks lane split ranges from fascinating to aggravating. But full dress are great for the folks who enjoy cruising long distances and doing overnighters. I don’t like carrying passengers and prefer nothing additional on the bike.

        3. I’ve only had occasion to carry a table saw in a vehicle twice in my life, so that really doesn’t weigh in my decision to ride a bike or not, lol.

    4. And your chances of being debilitated or killed in an accident skyrocket, because a motorcycle is less stable and less conspicuous.
      Fact: The federal government estimates that per mile traveled in 2014, the number of deaths on motorcycles was over 27 times the number in cars.
      Let’s wait for the inevitable comment of “No not me I’m a perfect rider you don’t know how incredible I am (chest thump chest thump)…” It doesn’t matter how careful or good a rider you are if other vehicles don’t see you, or if your two-wheeled vehicle isn’t stable.

      1. … and there are the folks deliberately trying to kill you late at night or in the middle of nowhere. Stopped riding for many years after a couple of those incidents.

        1. I am hyper-vigilant, always on the lookout for motorcycles when driving ; when ever I am city-traffic driving, I deliberately give plenty of room to the rider in front of me; and try not to allow other vehicles to get in front of me…there are a lot of assholes on the road, driving too damn close to motorcycles.
          Where I come from; real men don’t just ride bikes, they build them, ride them, drive them straight into the living room,so the bike gets a cleansing rub-down, after hours on the road. Motorcycles live inside the house, like a member of the family.
          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e7cec114dc390a8ae43c77ca8876b3592d807994475815158b58bf15ed10f754.png

      2. I acknowledge the risk. The vast majority of accidents are young bucks drinking alcohol out speeding though. The saying is, and it’s basically true, that if you survive your first ten years riding you’re good to go from that point forward. Seems to play out in reality most of the time.
        Life is risky. A man weighs risks vs. rewards and either chooses to act or not act. I ride knowing the risks and I enjoy the benefits immensely. If I get hit and die, well, I knew that it wasn’t safe to begin with so I rolled the dice and came up snake eyes and well, bad luck on me.

        1. Well now you know one who, thus far, hasn’t been. That’s not a brag or humblebrag, I’m just saying. And yes, I attribute it to luck mostly.
          Oh well. Life is risky. If you feel it’s too risky then I applaud your choice to decide not to take that risk. Every man has to know his limitations and what he will or will not accept. Those who don’t consider the risk, deserve what they get. Those who consider the risks and take them knowing the odds, they’re cool. It’s all up to the individual. Caveat emptor.

        2. Its a personal risk/reward decision. Most motorcycle accidents are single vehicle, usually mishandling a turn. Taking the Motorcycle Safety Course helps a lot.
          But, I do enjoy it.

        3. A motorcycle training course is the absolute best investment you can make. Once you learn about counter steering and how to slide without dying, etc. life gets a lot safer statistically.

        4. Yep, and the sad fact is that almost all female riders take one. Only a fraction of male riders do. Which accounts for all the idiot male motorcyclists I see riding down the road with poor lane position, using their body weight to tilt the bike around turns at low speeds, etc.

        5. I’ll tell you what, check out your local state’s DMV. Many of them offer top of the shelf instructional courses, for like $25 to $50 and they include the bikes that you can beat up. The quality rivals and even exceeds the more costly courses you’ll find at Harley dealerships. Little known secret, and Harley dealerships are not wanting you to know that so that you’ll shell out 300 beans to them. Check the rating on your state’s courses.

        6. Yep. I take risks in other ways, like buying a one-way plane ticket to another continent and just seeing what I find for four months. Or refusing to get health insurance in my twenties, which was a little stupid but saved me close to fifteen grand at the time. So yeah, we pick our risks based on our strengths and weaknesses.

        7. I hadn’t ridden in a couple of decades, but kept my license current. I did the MSF’s course– with beater bikes etc prior to even test riding a bike. Probably the best thing I did before getting back into riding. Back in college I had just hopped on a friend’s bike and just rode, no formal training.
          I’m thinking along the lines of a class at a track like CA Superbike and really working on cornering better, etc.

        8. Is that a movie from the 1970’s that scares the shit out of everybody who watches it to the point that you feel that if you walk outside the building you will be run over by fifteen cars at the same time?

        9. Ah, boutique special skills classes, yeah, those *would* be a hoot. I’d like to take the automobile classes that do that too.

        10. Exactly. Skills you don’t really need but would be handy/fun to develop and make you better – auto or bike.

        11. After I saw that flick I had an intense and consuming desire to invent the teleporter right there in the building I saw the movie in so that I wouldn’t have to drive home.

        12. My godfather was killed in a motorcycle accident. I loved to drive with him as a kid…he was a great driver but that doesn’t matter when the other traffic participants seal your fate.
          It’s just like with football and handball on the one side and weightlifitng on the other side…at first glance weightlifting may sound more dangerous but football and handball players are WAY more prone to injuries due to contact with other athletes.

        13. I found those movies to be quite fun. It also introduced me to Best Gore, where I realized that being so much as touched by something will turn you into spaghetti.

        14. My training course turns my accident into a couple of busted ribs and a slide instead of what it would have been if I didn’t know how to properly fall off a motorcycle which would have been assured death or at least serious, serous injury.

        15. unless, of course, you are @boothe who no doubt will pop in for this article at some point…who just got a ZX-10R which he will hopefully be very safe on. There simply is no way to teach someone to ride that thing outside of years and years of experience and balls made of far more brass than the kneeman has.

        16. Funny story. I had an uncle who in the 70’s crashed his bike, broke his leg and never drove again. IN the early 2000’s he died of cancer. Anyway, when I got my first bike my mother, doing what mothers are wont to do, tried to talk me out of it. She said “You know what happened to Uncle Knee right” I said “yes, he crashed his bike broke his leg and died of cancer 40 years later”
          Oh mothers.

        17. Lol! Perfect answer.
          The DMV people I remember giving me shit for some reason.
          “Oh, here to get your organ donation certification I see”
          “Blow me” (not really) Heh.

        18. risk : death or severe injury
          reward : more women
          mmmh let me think a bit…
          (no i joke. I ride a motorcycle too, but for practical reasons)

        19. I had a dik at Sears try to not sell me a battery for my banged up Honda 360, telling me I was going to be a stain on the road….
          I said – but you’ll lose a sale!

        20. Reward:
          More women
          Hotter women
          The state of zen that comes over you as you cruise down a long deserted country road in summertime
          Camaraderie with other masculine men
          Social events and gatherings tailored towards masculinity instead of female based “let’s go shopping!/let’s consume material items!”
          Cross country events and shows (Sturgis, Daytona, etc) where you meet the best people you’ll ever meet in your life.

        21. For me the reward is riding, I enjoy the experience– I wouldn’t have a motorcycle just to attract women. Something about it just seems to clear my head, keep me sane. I commute, and I’ll ride on the weekends or just take it out at night if the mood arises.
          Like GoJ, I acknowledge the risk and try to be careful over 100..

        22. annlying from DMV people. I give my a pass. She also asked me why I don’t get a scooter and I told her “because I have no intention of delivering Chinese food”
          Poor woman has been through so much.

        23. indeed, more camaraderie,
          i’m always surprised how riders say hello to other riders while driving (at least in france, but i suppose it’s the same in the us), it’s like a clan, cool to me.
          and indeed, women sees one in a different (mostly positive) light when they know/see with the bike. Plus if you have a jacket (which makes shoulders broader) it’s a bonus !

        24. Do you guys do that little “wave down to the ground” thing when you pass other bikers over there? Everybody here does it, across the nation. You see a biker, you wave downward, sometimes with a peace sign, or not, your choice.

        25. I don’t drive an old car, but I did own a Vette at one time, and I notice that they all did the finger-shoot thing at other Vette drives in passing. Everybody wants to belong to an exclusive little club don’t they, heh?

        26. I’ve heard that if you make it to 1000 miles safely, you’re likely to make it to 10k. Pretty much every idiot asshole biker I’ve known was in an accident by mile 200 because, well, they’re idiotic assholes.
          I do think, though, that anyone under the age of 28 with a crotch rocket is trouble. Five will get you ten they’re the kind of kids who can’t be trusted with a nerf gun.

        27. It’s not the dying that concerned me when riding, it’s the debilitating injuries that often come from a mistake by someone else in a car.

        28. Yeah, crotch rockets are really scary. I’ve watched a young buck do a wheely going into an off ramp (intentionally) that was on a somewhat steep incline, then get to the light pop the wheel down and sit just like he’d pulled up there all normal like.
          It’s that spirit and utter sense of invulnerability that got men into space though, so I don’t denigrate it. I just give them a wide berth.

        29. You can´t find the perfect biker with no scars. Worked in a hospital every weekend we had that retard biker with a lot of broken bones. one friend was a biker club, he is dead now, those guy in the club attend at least like 5 funerals in a year.

        30. If it’s similar to flying, there’s a bucket. A lot of accidents early on due to inexperience, which declines, then in later years an increase- mostly due to complacency. They stop doing the things or following the habits that had been preventing accidents.

        31. so youre saying we need to start an attractive low financing campaign to libs?

        32. Knew two guys in the Army that were competitive riders before they joined. One had his spine severed by someone hitting him from behind at ~25 mph while they were texting. Last time I talked to him he said he wished he were dead. Don’t know what happened to him.
          The other nearly died in Afghanistan from being shot. Made a full recovery, and then died a few years later from running into a tree on his bike. And those guys were better riders than basically anyone on the road.
          http://www.egcitizen.com/obituaries/charles-plumbridge/article_dbcb3a3e-b1e0-5caa-8c96-64eed543380d.html

        33. yes it’s more like the peace signe or something like if you mimic a gun with the hand. Or sometimes, just nodding the head towards the other rider.

        34. If you ride your bike into a tree, you were not one of the better riders on the road. I cannot foresee a circumstance that does not involve “driver error” that accounts for hitting a tree on a motorcycle.
          Like noted, life is dangerous. Your day to die is already cast from the dice of fate, and not one thing you can do will hasten its arrival nor stop it from happening.

        35. Cool, same thing here then. Weird how that seems to be an international standard, heh.

        36. I knew him pretty well and talked to a few people about his death. I’m sure it was rider error due to his over-confidence.
          “Fate” is largely decided by the decisions made- not some ubiquitous force.

        37. Oh, I can say pretty confidently that driver error was in play. Not trying to be a dick, don’t want to come off like that, but trees generally don’t grow or pop up in the middle of roads.
          Nah, I stick to Scottish Fatalism. It’s a fine philosophy that has served me well and keeps life interesting and fun. End of the day it’s as good as any other life credo out there, heh.

        38. He made a poor decision by riding to his bike’s max capacity on a difficult roadway to maneuver. Resulting in a poor result. I don’t believe for one second there is a universal force rolling die on our outcomes.

        39. Dude, the purpose of a life credo isn’t to scientifically prove all data points, that’s way too spergy. It is instead to inspire, or demotivate (depending on your personality type) you. Whether I actually think that three witches are sitting around that know your date of death or not is irrelevant. It’s in the way it lets you approach life. Scottish Fatalism has given me a bold, fearless approach to life that has, thus far, allowed me to experience amazing things over the years that others with their calculating risk measuring sticks and personal actuary tables all avoid. Their loss.

        40. I stick to the Groucho Marx philosophy to high risk activities.
          “I could go on talking to you kids forever, but it’s time to play ‘You Bet Your Life’ ”
          The time for talking, i.e. preparation and learning, is prior to engaging in the activity, the more preparation prior- the more the risk is mitigated. Which is why we both agree that a course like the Motorcycle Safety Foundation is a good idea.
          That’s also why I’m considering a ~$2,500 course of instruction and practice prior to purchasing and riding a ~140hp motorcycle on the street. A man has got to know his limitations and a course on a controlled race track is definitely a much better place to find the limits.

        41. Nothing all wrong with taking courses to help you with something. I’m just not fond of approaching life’s challenges with a “Well, as long as I don’t get hurt” mentality.

        42. I have a buddy that rides all the time. He said it’s not IF you have a crash, it’s WHEN and HOW BADLY. He’s been in 3 accidents, none of which (I think) have been his fault. But he doesn’t have kids he has to take care of.

        43. Agreed. It’s that military ORM thing. I want to ride- the mission is to ride and I will do so. So the answer I’m looking for is how to best make that happen, the answer isn’t I just won’t do it. I can’t eliminate risk, I’ll manage it.
          Fate may have a time and a place in line for me to exit the world, but I’ll do what I can to ensure I’m not jumping the line to an earlier point.

        44. Yeah, I hear guys say that all the time, usually people who don’t ride. I’m knocking on wood here, but I’m in my late 40’s and have been riding since I was about 10 and so far, except for my own self induced stupid spills out in dirt fields when I was a teen on a dirt bike, I haven’t had any crash yet. Again, knock on wood, throw salt over shoulder, pick a 4 leaf clover for luck.

        45. Better some road rash than a broken spine and smashed in head.

        46. Reminds me of Steve McQueen (biking legend). Smoked like a haystack but got cancer from asbestos poisoning.

        47. Now thats a bike! Very, very nice. Much more class than the pocket rockets some people like to ride.

        48. There is a correlation about increased accidents for guys just coming back from deployment. They take risks unnecssarily.

        49. I don’t know about other places, but where I live they’re the number one source for idiots likely to kill themselves going too fast on a winding road.
          All we need is to get them to leverage what life insurance their middle-class parents are paying for against their loans…

        50. As much as I despise dickhead drivers (car or bike), I found those riding Harley bikes as chill dudes; every time I moved a little to let bikes past I always got a thank you nod! Can’t say the same for hairdryer aficionados

        51. Watch videos of bike crashes, and the majority of accidents are caused by people pulling out without looking, and they’re overwhelmingly female drivers,…which ironically does suggest ‘motorbikes attract women’.

        52. Friend of friend misjudged a round-about intersection, locked up front wheel, sent him and the bike 12-15′ flipping in the air a few weeks ago. Funny part is he’s mostly OK except he hit his head so hard he cracked his skull and got concussion. Nope, no helmet. Derp.

        53. I strongly concur. My riding course taught everything including the worst case scenarios, basically how to have full control and comfort with your machine. We did figure 8’s in a 10×10 box to learn clutch control stone cold. Make your mistakes during the course, not the road

        54. Steve McQueen, Pernell Roberts, James Coburn, James Garner, Keenan Wynn, Lee Marvin all rode in the Barstow to Vegas races. A tough guy event for sure.

        55. Young men, 18-24; I think they’re full of Testosterone and Invincible Spirit…Fool-hardy and Reckless…Just Add Alcohol. The trauma brutalizes the family and friends of these Vibrant Almost Men; We’re all just one or two bad choices away from giving someone else the gift of life.

        56. I had motorcycle for 1 year and I could not drive it on crowded streets . Being surrounded by metal cars freaked me the fuck out. Felt nekkid Don’t know how you guys ride in traffic or on the highway…

        57. My dad and his brothers used to share a glorified pit bike that had been redneck-repaired to oblivion, but that ended when his cousin managed to get hit by the only car on the road that evening. Drunk driver ran the stop sign and took him out.
          Looking at the road (which hasn’t changed – country things survive), I can see both how it happened and how it could have been avoided. Poor kid took what should have been a minimal risk (keeping straight past an intersection where the sides were supposed to yield), but because he wasn’t one-fault tolerant he lost his life.
          Each ride should carry a fear of death, just enough to keep you aware at all times. Frankly, each drive should be the same way.

        58. My family have a law practice – motor bike street accidents and insurance claims for medicals are what they call bread and butter work – they churn through them and there’s always plenty more.

        59. You just ride and learn. It’s not really that scary at all.

        60. I agree with everything you’ve said. Riding these days, you need as much edge as you can get. However, there’s no legislating for the twat who decides to drive and text at the same time. A mate of mine, a rider of some 40+ years experience, got broadsided by an inattentive woman who thought sending a text more important than watching the road. It cost him his left leg.

        61. Yeah, here I am, better late than never. Had a busy weekend and can’t believe I missed this. Actually it’s a ZX-14 and yes I’m very safe on it. Get hurt or get dead and you don’t get to ride. I’m in the buck seventy+ club now Knee man (would’ve topped it out but ran out of road, lol!). Nothing like it in this world…

        62. ZX-14 sorry! I imagine with that beast running out of road has to be your #1 issue. Do you have a race track near you. There is one not to far from me that you can go and pay to his a pro track for a bit.

        63. Yeah, the bike is part of my life. Whether commuting, out corner carving or just cruising, there is absolutely nothing like it in this world for me. Real stand up Jet-skiing comes close, but it’s still not quite there. Sure there are risks, but if you have the right attitude and stay on high alert around other drivers you’ll stand a lot better chance of surviving. Let’s face, no one makes it out of here alive. As far as the chick factor goes, I have to laugh when some cute little 20 something smiles and waves or winks at me at the light. If I pulled my full face helmet off she’d probably freak that she’s flirting with an old guy. After all if you’re riding a super sport and are very fit you must be a young buck right?

        64. Yes I do. I understand they open up the KC motor speedway for track days sometimes. I think their longest straightaway is a mile and a half, but still not enough to hit 200 and come out of the curve alive. I will need better leathers though. We’ll see…

        65. I frequently heard the 80% rule back in the day: 80% of the accidents in a rider’s first six months were the rider’s fault. After six months 80% of the accidents were another driver’s fault. I’m sure it’s anecdotal, but in my experience it has appeared to be accurate.

        66. That’s a lot like thru hiking long trails like the Appalachian Trail, other than the hot women part, though that is changing.
          I cleaned up a lot of guys as a medic who did a tour overseas, got hammered, and wrecked outside the base after. Sad to see someone die like that after surviving a year getting shot at.
          Good that you promote safety. I always do in my activities, shooting, hiking, playing videogames, and such.

        67. 1-800-blue-pills
          0% interest loans on 1000cc++ crotch rockets, just bring in your “I’m with Her” pin!
          $1000 cash back IF you voted for Bernie!

      3. I raced dirtbikes when I was younger. You just have to know how to ride. You either have it or you don’t.
        Go hide in a hole if you like, you won’t live a second longer.

        1. I think muscle cars are way superior. Now, I understand bikers are hard core pro-bike and more power to them. I’m glad the culture is there and appreciate most of those guys.
          Still, that won’t stop me from trolling them in good fun. I love passing the old “bikers” hauling their bikes on a trailer to go to a rally states away. Ride hard, bro. Ride hard. . .

      4. Have to agree with JJB here… Cycles are dangerous. Doesn’t matter’s who’s fault it is but you wreck on a bike you’re likely injured. Good friend of mine got royally effed up after hitting a deer on his BMW cycle… I get the allure though. But I’m a risk averse person aka big pussy when it comes to bikes..

      5. I’ve been riding over 40 years and have the following input:
        There are two kinds of bikers: Those that have been in an accident, and those that will be in an accident. That being said the majority of crashes are:
        1. By people who have been riding less than a year
        2. Those on a borrowed bike
        3. Usually younger men
        Always ride defensively, like everyone is out to get you
        and especially watch for those either making a left in front of you or pulling out of a side street or driveway. Also, when you stop at a traffic light leave your bike in gear and have a planned escape route.

        1. I’ve been riding and racing dirt bikes, and then road bikes, since I was 13, still got all my parts. ON the street, I always proceed with thinking, “I am invisible, and they’re TRYING to get me”. Has worked so far for 40 yrs.

      1. I drove my bike 45 miles Easter dinner on long island with a box of cookies from a bakery in a white plastic bag. No issues.

        1. there is a situation where making it up a hill will be a hell of a lot easier than making it down one.

    5. I too don’t like to be an arsehole in traffic. I like the part when a group of bikers overtake you on both side when driving on the highway and trying to avoid one you nearly hit the other. Near heart attack.

        1. Too many cameras here in the UK so they’ll have evidence on you no matter what!

      1. just watch out if you are a biker….it may come that “now you can’t leave”

    6. You can actually carry a lot when you rig for a cross country trip, there are some very roomy “trunks” you can buy that you can stuff half of Kansas into, these days. That being said, riding is mostly for cruising locally and not for running the family around to soccer games. Everything in its place.

    7. Vast majority of bikers have permanent injuries due to biking accidents. Best one is the guy I know who had to be in a full body cast for a year. Runner up is the woman legless above one knee from a wreck. No thanks.

    8. Everyone who rides recognizes the risks. Some heed them, some don’t. In terms of cost, a great used bike will set you back under $10,000. Yes, women are materialistic and frivolous, but that’s part of the game my friend. Might as well get your share of the pussy pie while you can.

    9. I don’t own a motorcycle, but I can say from experience that most young women also love riding in terrifyingly fast cars. 8 cyl. + turbo + E85 will scare the shit out of them, then they see you in control of it all and suddenly her little tingle-feedback hamster wheel starts spooling faster than your car.

    10. One of my friends had a motorbike for a very practical reason: he worked as a pizza delivery driver in a congested city. Try doing that job in a car and the food will be stone cold before you’re even halfway there. Not to mention the fact that the place he worked had no dedicated parking spots; on-street parking in the area was limited to 10 minutes (no return within 2 hours) and the place was crawling with traffic wardens. With a bike, he could squeeze through an alleyway (which was far too narrow to drive a car through) to get to some spaces round the back (these ‘spaces’ being designed as the place where all the shops’ large commercial bins were kept; he’d leave his bike in the narrow gaps between bins).
      And yes, he had a major accident. To all the commentators below who think they’ll never be in an accident because they don’t ride recklessly: he was a very sensible rider. Never rode over the speed limit, obeyed all the laws of the road (lane sharing is legal in the UK). But just because you’re the perfect rider doesn’t stop other road users from behaving like morons. One evening on his way home from work, he was riding along minding his own business, doing maybe 20 or 30mph. Going the other way there was a traffic jam. One impatient driver decided to skip the jam by overtaking. This was on a single carriageway, mind you, so ‘overtaking’ meant ‘driving on the wrong side of the road’. For good measure, this driver decided that minimising the amount of time he spent driving on the wrong side of the road (i.e. accelerating like a bat out of hell) would be a good idea. The next thing my friend remembers is waking up in an ambulance.
      This happened a decade ago and he still walks with a limp and can’t use his left hand for anything more strenuous than using cutlery. Luckily, in the UK we have the NHS. If he’d been in the US, the medical bills would have bankrupted him – the criminally impatient driver was, of course, an uninsured indigent; suing the driver to cover the medical bills would be like drawing blood from a stone.

  3. Bikes are fine where your in the country or a rural area, once you go into the urban areas then its a very dangerous place. When my brother moved to Florida, he traded his Suzuki for a jet ski, cause there’s a lot of old people living there and its easy for them not to see you.

    1. Miami is the worst city in America for driving fatalities because of 1) retirees and 2) foreign tourists who’ve just rented cars and don’t know the rules. Dave Barry called them “Alamos”. As in, “There goes another Alamo changing four lanes without a signal.”

      1. I haven’t ridden through Miami actually, good to know. The worst place I’ve found is St. Louis MO which I now take pains to avoid driving through, with Atlanta, GA a close second.

        1. Have you ever driven in the Northern Virginia/Washington DC area? Hands down the worst driving I have ever seen.

        2. DC sucks. I’ve not taken a bike there but a car and yes, the whole area is freaking insane.
          But St. Louis is even worse.

    2. I would never drive a motorcycle here in germany. Population density is four times higher than in the United States, the german demographics show that most germans are old fucks, you hear about accidents by grandpas all day long on german radio and then there are the millions of refugees who are now getting unleashed on the german streets. Maybe 10 years ago it was fine…or 40 years ago when there were car-free weekends in germany which exceeds my millennial imagination…those german babyboomers were really blessed human beings..no wonder they are the biggest cucks because of the absence of adversity.

  4. “it massages her nether regions.”
    I read once the vibrations from the organs played in church could give a woman an orgasm. No wonder why the old ladies sat in the front rows 😉

    1. *reads post*
      *thinks of grandma who goes to church*
      *remembers the face she made at the crescendo “CHRIST HAS DIED, CHRIST HAS RISEN” piece*
      *vomits*

      1. Me too man. I seen an older fella on a scooter the other day initiate the Wave to me with a shit eating grin, I grinned and waved back of course. It’s all good on 2 wheels.

  5. I’m not saying that I necessarily disagree with the post but you better make sure you have a solid core game before you decide to accessorize with bikes, cars, expensive phones etc. Nothing spells failure faster than looking like a chump trying to compensate.

      1. Normally, I’d say those things are vastly overpowered. But that one may need every one of the ~160 ponies…

  6. Bikes are too dangerous to be worth it. Too many cars and bad roads with potholes. If you wanna get her excited with something dangerous, opt for rock climbing or sailing. Still get the dangerous factor, but the risk is much lower.

    1. Yeah, I can see the waterfall starting between my girl’s legs when I talk about going sailing. (I sailed a lot when I was in high school.) Most women want to see their man in charge.

    2. The quality of chicks varies by what you do. I can tell you for a stone cold fact that a nice bike and proper attire and attitude can and will routinely get you fitness model quality women, whereas rock climbing will usually garner you that little HB6 who is skinny and wears nerd glasses sometimes. Heh.
      That being said, there’s some ugly broads too that like bikers. Be safe out there.

      1. Fair enough. I’ve just never seen smoking hot chicks with bikers in my area, it’s usually some old hag riding with an old dude on a Harley. Whereas the sailing and climbing chicks I’ve seen are of much higher quality.

        1. The older guys, yeah, no question. As a 40 something, I can tell you for a fact, pretty 20 something girls cannot stay away from you.
          “Will you take me on a ride…” is the most used phrase I hear every riding season.

  7. This article was not written by me, but it sure could have been.
    Fan freaking tastic, sir!

    What if I told you that the motorcycle itself can build attraction in
    your girl without you saying anything? Does it game her as you sleep?
    Does it tell her how cool of a guy you are when you’re not around? No,
    it massages her nether regions.

    QFT. I’ve approached my bike during some biker events, and found 20 something year old women posing on or near it (it’s a highly ornamental, very unique looking bike). I’ve even found numbers with names on them, on the bike or in my helmet before (I hand it upside down on the handlebars).
    Shit is like female Viagra and don’t let anybody tell you differently.

  8. Played that silly crap , lucky my girlfriend and I survived. Will never put my ass on another motorcycle again, at least on the road.

    1. The opinions here seem to collect around either love ’em or hate ’em, and nothing in between.
      I’m with you, put me firmly in the no camp. And it’s not for lack of trying, but I promise I’ll never try again. I have a lot of good instinct and the ability to fundamentally size up how to handle machines, but it apparently doesn’t cover motorcycles.
      Then there’s my buddy, with the coordination and agility to get out of the seat and do a one handed handstand while pulling a wheelie. My pulse jumps up a notch just thinking about it.

    1. You’re posting my boy! Dude is 77 and still bad ass as fuck. He is getting older looking though.

      1. My neighbor is in his 70’s and still races flat track and motocross. Very cool old guy, he’s like adopted family. Hundreds of trophies in his garage and house, 95% of them 1st place, some are 1st nationals. “I like to win, what’s the point if you don’t win” he says. Has about a dozen race bikes, a couple harleys and even an old moped he uses for supply runs in the pit. He’d give you the shirt off his back but he also takes zero shit from anyone, zero. I’ll be doing good if I only have half his health and ambition at that age haha.
        I know another guy in his 80s that still flies aerobatics. He’s retired navy pilot and also takes zero shit but would give you his shirt if needed.
        The country needs more men like this to teach the young ones not to be pussies.

        1. Amen to that. I get if a guy has tried and doesn’t like it. Or if he’s getting older and doing a risk v. reward calculation. Or if he had a relative die on a bike. But guys who are young bucks doing the “Oh, not safe” thing are a new phenomenon to me. When I was late teens through mid 20’s I was invulnerable, immortal and could, if I focused hard enough, find a reason rappel down Mt. Everest that would have sounded legit. This new “life is scary” focus on safety, out of young bucks, is kind of sad in its own right.
          That being said, the younger end of the Millenials are finding their balls again and defying their Hipster cousins.

    1. Funny, today I found a photo album while I was clearing my grandmas house who passed away a few months ago containing field post from my greatgreatgrandfather from July 1th 1916 and pictures of my greatgreatgrandmother and her sister.
      Men looked like men.
      Women looked like women and knew their place.
      The days that will probably never come back….

      1. I helped clean out a flat when an old woman passed away in Germany once. They were chucking old photos and letters and asked if I could keep some.
        Apparently her father was in an air squadron in WWI and had a lot of old photos of his crew and the planes. Took them back to my uncle who is a pilot and he was estatic. They are hanging on his walls today.

  9. Speaking of bikes, I just remembered this:

    R.I.P Chris Cornell. I had no idea this song was from him until just now.

    1. I’m of mixed opinion on those. I mean sure, ok, you’re riding. But it just seems a bit off. If you enjoy it though, that’s what matters.

      1. … but you’ll still give the rider shit if they pull up at your local bar. Right? Harley riders always love telling me that some day I’ll grow up and buy a real bike.. (current one’s a little naked 750). Good folks.

        1. Giving and taking shit is SOP for biker culture. Thin skins need not apply.

        2. Yep, when you’ve got the only Japanese bike at a bar with ~150 Harley’s parked outside, and it’s bright yellow to boot, you know you’re going to hear about it. I wasn’t kidding about them being good folks. You know how it goes, after the initial ball busting they’re telling you about their racing days on Yamahas, or the first little Honda CB whatever they had…

        3. Almost all real bikers started on rice burners. Harley didn’t (doesn’t still?) make dirt bikes for kids, but Kawasaki, Suzuki and Honda sure do.
          I have a Suzuki Boulevard that looks just like a Harley and is functionally the same the only difference being that mine starts all the time and hoses don’t bust randomly while riding through Nebraska. But otherwise, same kind of deal.

        4. Lived in South Dakota and saw the Sturgis rallies more times than I could count. On the road to/from, being on a rice-burner is a good way to get laughed at by all the Harley-jockies.
          On the other hand, stopping under a bridge in the middle of nowhere to avoid rain and ending up with about 40 new best friends in their leathers and Harleys doing the same and ending up having an inpromptu party is something no car driver will ever understand.

        5. Amen to that.
          I never mock a rice rocket rider. Most of us started there.

      2. Haha. I don’t actually own one, but I do actually want to find a used one. Bikes are cool and all, I grew up watching On Any Sunday, but I’m just not a motorcycle dude. You have to know yourself. I guarantee you that I would pull more tail on a Can-Am than if you gave me the baddest chopper in the land. I’m a nerd, not a tough as nails biker.
        Also, let’s face it, Harley’s will attract a certain type of danger seeking woman. However, every woman is willing to ride a glorified scooter.

        1. Danger seeking women….heh heh heh. Great sex from the danger seekers.

  10. Years earlier I was riding and approaching an intersection where I had right of way. There was a car waiting there to cross my lane. I knew that I should be cautious and maintain the same slow speed I was going until I was through the intersection. However, I was young and restless and felt like “getting on it”. As I was accelerating faster, AND approaching the intersection, sure enough, the car pulls right out in front of me. Crash. I was lucky to walk, actually limp away from it. Was the wreck my fault, of course not. However, had I been a more seasoned driver, it never would have happened in the first place. Through the years, I have experienced more what could have been wrecks but were avoided due to my extremely defensive driving.

    1. Yep, you really have to be on your toes when riding. Especially these days when everyone is finger banging their phones behind the wheel.

      1. Several decades ago my buddy was sitting on his motorcycle waiting behind a van to leave a parking lot. Driver (young girl), changes her mind about exiting and decides to back up. He sees the backup lights, starts backpedaling and honking his little Honda horn. She doesn’t hear it over the radio she has blasting, still hits him. Minor damage.
        He bought and installed air-horns, you could hear those from 1/4 mile away no problem.

        1. I’ve always wondered why they put such wimpy shit assed horns on bikes. Hell I can barely hear my own horn at highway speed… meeeeep. I was getting pushed out of my lane quite a bit on the interstate, my horn was ineffective, so I opted for some loud pipes. They definitely hear me now, I’d still like a train horn though.

        2. I got a Hyundai and my only issue with the car is how pathetic the horn is. I’ve been meaning to put an air horn with a semi-truck sound in but haven’t gotten around to it yet. Like you said– with all the distracted drivers now, the stock horn doesn’t cut it.

        3. Good. Then they are serving their purpose. You notice him. That’s the whole point.
          Drivers are legally blind and they are also commissioned to assassinate you, if you’re on a bike. Loud annoying pipes that make you wince cure the blindness and cancel the commission. Their annoyance is a small price to pay for us not getting smashed by some doofus texting at the wheel.

        4. what would you say if someone comes to your house and starts making loud fucking irritating noises just because he thinks he’s not “safe” without making that noise?

        5. You ride a bike for a year and then get back to me about being polite. Drivers are the rudest, blindest, most dangerous things on the road and they routinely smash into bikes because they’re texting or looking at the radio, or eating a Big Mac while driving, or getting a blowjob from little Sally or any other assorted reason. Fuck them if they don’t like the noise, I don’t like being run over.

        6. The number of drivers ‘heads down’ in the cars really struck me when I went back to riding. I don’t remember folks having their heads that far up their asses back in the day. Radios on real loud? Yeah, but they were looking out the windows at least.

        7. Right? In the age of “Muh iPhone” you can’t find drivers who aren’t smashing into other cars at least five times a day, let alone motorcycles. Don’t like the noise? Tough shit. You at least heard me and paid attention, even if it did make you shake your fist in rage at the audacity of somebody who doesn’t want to be run over.

        8. I’ll take a Loud tuned exhaust anytime – It’s music to my ears! Not like that clown music bumping next to me at the stop light with the trunk lid rattling.

        9. Not just the phone, but now a lot of cars have those LCD control displays that people are paging through menus to do shit they used to be able to do by feel, plus the new cool features. From the radio to the heater/AC to GPS NAV, blu-tooth phone….

        10. i live in a large city. when i’m at home or walking in the street i don’t posses any danger to those scared bikers. most bikers don’t have excessively loud bikes. but those who do, intentionally irritate thousands of people around them for no reason whatsoever. it’s called being a narcissistic asshole who’s treating other people like shit.

        11. So basically it’s all about you and your convenience being more important than me and my life.
          If you look at safety and wreck stats, there’s a reason for this, and it’s not imaginary. I’ll say it again because third time is a charm; If you hear it and get agitated enough about it, that means that you noticed, which means that you’re likely to look around when you’re driving, which keeps bikers safer. I don’t give a sandy cunt fuck in the forest what you “feel” about it. If you notice, that means that I live. That your poor little constitution can’t take the scary loud noise means jack shit.

        12. I recently installed a set of air horns on my nephew’s Hyundai – took only 30min. The sound is so obnoxious – but effective!

        13. Mind sending me a link to the model/brand?
          You hit the ‘panic’ button on this Hyundai and it sounds like a wristwatch alarm, in a drawer, in another room, with the battery dying.

        14. i don’t know if you actually read my post, but i was talking about a large city and thousands of people who walk or sit at home and don’t posses any danger to you.
          also, if you believe that it’s not safe to ride a bike without irritating thousands of people around you, then maybe you should choose a different way of transportation. most bikers keep their noise levels reasonable and don’t modify their pipes. i’m not talking about them.
          the loud noises i hear from bikes here are not “scary”, they’re just fucking annoying. it’s like mix of loud farting and a dental drill.

        15. I really don’t care about the location. I ride my bike in cities, in suburban areas and in rural areas. It is not possible to take off and reinstall pipes on the fly while riding.
          Look pal, I don’t know you and I don’t want to know you. You don’t like loud pipes, well whoopidy-fucking-do, now we all know, thanks for offering your opinion, and you’re free to return back to your pastel shirt wearing, baby carriage pushing as momma leads lifestyle. My pipes stay.

        16. Like others have said, ride a quiet bike for a month, and see how your opinion may change, if you are still alive.
          I actually prefer quiet pipes. I hated putting louder ones on my bike because I loved the stealth capability of doing 150mph and nobody being the wiser. However after being ran off the road, literally too many times to count, I now prefer the louder pipes. They notice me now, and don’t swerve into my lane right on top of me anymore which was the entire goal. They know I’m there, I could give a flying fuck if it irritates them.

        17. Yes, I see this everywhere now…. everyone finger banging their phones instead of looking out the window. I followed a guy in a pickup last night doing this shit and swerving between 3 lanes of traffic. asshats.

        18. That’s one thing, but it’s quite another to suggest that we shouldn’t have loud pipes as a safety feature. Guys can abuse anything and be assholes.

        19. Right. On the open road I actually prefer motorsickles around me to have loud pipes. For the reasons you say.

        20. look i didn’t hear your particular bike, and it’s quite possible that it stays on reasonable noise levels – so don’t take it too personally.
          but the way you describe it, sounds like it’s all about YOU. as long as you can ride your toy “safely”, other people can go fuck themselves in tens of thousands. sounds to me more like a millennial narcissist position – sorry.
          i also read on this subject some time ago and got impression that the whole “loud pipes save life” thing is just a myth anyway. you can google “loud pipes save life myth”. this opinion comes from many responsible bikers who believe that loud pipes only hurt the biker community as they turn the people – and the law – against them. once again, i don’t know if it applies to you personally.

        21. i understand that bikers have legitimate concerns. it’s just they can’t solve those concerns at expense of thousands of people who don’t posses any harm to them anyway. i didn’t do anything bad to any biker. so they shouldn’t affect my well being either.

        22. there are bikes that sound nice even while loud – like a good techno track. i’m talking about those that sound like a sequence of loud farts mixed with a dental drill.

        23. yeah sure. why did they only ban smoking in public places? had to force non-smokers to wear gas masks. problem solved.

        24. Loud exhaust does not provide any safety, due to physics.
          The folks in front of you don’t really hear it. Those who can hear it don’t need to, and you’re just being an showboating asshat.

        25. If my life is at stake it is in fact all about me. Your comfort means shit.

        26. i’m sorry but your position is incorrect.
          obviously, your safety is important. that is, until it requires to infringe on other people’s freedoms and well-being.
          bike is just another adult toy, a hobby. and i’m not saying it in a negative way – it’s good to have toys and hobbies. i have mine. but you can’t fuck other people in the ass just to engage in your hobby “safely”. nobody forced you to get a bike.
          other people shouldn’t suffer because of your (or mine) hobby choices. and if you don’t give a fuck about other people, they’ll pay you back with the same.
          if you’re a cop on a bike – yeah sure make as much noise as you need. you perform a public service. but in your case you only indulge your personal desires.
          you have all the safety in the world you need. it was YOUR choice to ride a bike. so find a way to deal with it without bothering other people – especially those who didn’t do anything bad to you.

  11. I would love to have a bike but people are such bad dangerous drivers it is too risky. A nice Triumph would be great cruiser.

    1. Don´t cut traffic almost all accident in bike is because the biker was in a blind spot or the biker was the asshole

      1. It is often because biker does a bike move that a car can’t do and surprises car driver by doing something he didn’t think was possible.

        1. you are right cars do not expect a bike there, people drive using the brain in automatic, the brain is trained to detect other cars and people walking in front of you, a sudden small bike appearing from a blind spot surprise the driver.

  12. if you want to attract Latinas here is the three things you will need
    1) Latina’s
    2) A Yamaha R1
    3)Profit

        1. My brain must not be functioning, I’m not catching the joke/reference.
          BTW, I did a semi-hidden reference below, I’m curious who will pick up on it first, heh.

    1. This is why I carry a syringe of adrenaline with me wherever I go. I meet a girl and toss her down and poke her like uma Thurman in pulp fiction and then am like…so, wanna go for a drink. Works every time.

  13. I don’t know why this one seems kind of cheesy to me. It makes me think of that scene in Hall Pass. lol

  14. I keep meaning to get a bike just because, chicks be damned. One of these days.
    Along similar lines to the article, though, I will tell you that the best pussy-attraction accessory is a pilot’s license. Even if you just have a private and fly nothing but 172s, something about the fact of you controlling an airplane causes legs to automatically open.

    1. Absolutely.
      No man has ever said “Hey baby girl, I’m flying 150 miles north of here to Put In Bay to grab a cheese burger, wanna come with” and not had a blowjob in the cockpit on the way.

    2. Pilots license is good. A few years back when my cousins and I had a boat for a season, that did wonders too. “lets go out on my boat” is about as much of a aphrodisiac as possible.

  15. While I loved….I mean LOVED….my Yamaha R1 I will never get another one. If I ever got another bike I would get a very clean Triumph Boneville…something I can wear a nice suit on and cruise around the city. That said, I think I would rather get a classic car now. Last summer I was contemplating a Karman Ghia which was in really good condition and had a DB-5 look to it, but didn’t pull the trigger.

      1. I actually have a barn. I will send you a picture in a few weeks on memorial day when I go there.

  16. I had an 80 ci Harley with a P-pad for the passenger. I can verify everything in this piece except I rarely had to go on a second ride. I banged several on the ride. I took many of them to a secluded place I went often that had a lot of mystique.
    I was young and rode with older bikers. At first I was clean cut (I grew my hair out for a while) and those older bikers loved me. It was a perfect storm for killing it with all the younger girls that came around. I use to go to parties and pull girls right out of the crowd, even away from their “boyfriends” on some occasions. Yea, other guys thought I was a massive dick.
    My bike had studs on the tank separator, the saddlebags and a few other places. Girls for some reason loved to count the studs. I had girls tell me they were getting wet while we were riding and had several tell their friends they had to go for a ride with me.
    Those were some fun times.

      1. I’ve always wanted to he to a motorcycle but am unsure as to get a cruiser or a crotch rocket. In terms of vag tingles, which one provide more?

        1. Sorry for the late reply, but there are a few things to consider:
          Cruisers (like Harley’s and Indians) have that deep rumble and for me are more comfortable to ride and go at your own pace. Plus, the attire you would normally wear for cruisers adds to the tingle production. Leather doesn’t look natural on a sport bike.
          On the other hand, sport bikes (like Kawasaki and Suzuki) are built for speed. You can definitely give her tingles by going 150mph, but I don’t find those bikes awfully comfortable when I’m going for a nice calm ride or going a little distance. Though, an added bonus with sport bikes is that you can take them to the track. If racing like MotoGP guys appeals to you, then by all means get a sport bike. I’ve raced a friend’s bike around a track and it is exhilerating. You can definitely go for that racer vibe with girls if you so choose. But, I don’t hit the track often enough to want a sport bike of my own.
          In the end, it’s just what bike reaches out to you the most when you picture yourself on it. If you see yourself donning the leather, jeans, sunglasses and boots like Arnold in Terminator 2, then get a cruiser. If you see yourself kicking your heartrate up to 1000bpm zipping around corners with your knee to the ground, then get a sport bike.

  17. While I’ve always been a classic car freak, I gotta admit – there is something So Insanely Cool about a motorcycle… Maybe someday I’ll pop my cherry.

      1. You can ride basically the same motorcycle with a Suzuki these days, ya’ know. They make cruisers that are, to the untrained eye, indistinguishable from most Harley bikes on the road.

        1. Yeah, but nobody really cares. Unless you’re thinking about pledging to an actual MC that requires them.

        2. But you will catch crap cuz, well, that’s what happens. Especially if you’re like my buddy who took all the Suzuki badging off his.

        3. I rarely if ever catch crap. My goto line when I see them sizing up the bike and they blurt out “Hey, what is that?!” is “It’s a Suzuki Boulevard, which is just like your Harley, except that it starts every time”.

        4. Did you leave the badging on? The immediate blasts he gets are questions about if he’s embarrassed about it, ashamed of it, pretending it’s an HD…. you can picture it.

        5. Sure I did, left everything on. I spruced it up with about a bajillion hand made (by me) things that define it as a “cowboy bike”, which includes saddle colored saddle bags, tank cover, engine guard wraps, grips, a set of steer horns just above the headlamp, and tail bag. All hand carved with art that I drew. Professional biker magazine photographers take pictures of it and it shows up in local biker rags now and again, and was also featured in some biker rags when I went to Sturgis last.

        6. Dad just bought one… beauty bike, women can’t tell the difference anyway and the ride is still the same

        7. I mean really, who cares what brand bike it is? Don’t be like women with their handbags. The fact that you ride and are respectable to other riders is cool in my book. Some of the bikes like Triumph Bonneville aren’t bad looking bikes at all.

        8. He should not give a flying fuck what others say. Own it and say so what? He is not there to get others’ approval.

        9. Dude– it’s good natured ribbing, talking shit. If they didn’t hassle him it would be more troubling and surprising. Just like the author’s dis to sport bikes in the article. Riders in different communities bust each other’s balls. HD riders bust balls of folks, and it is funny when it happens. Taking the badging off is kind of like a straight line to a comedian– it’s just an opening to talk smack.

        10. Ok. If they’re just kidding around and then they go have a round of beers and shoot the shit, then it’s cool.

        11. See rognin’s comment above “Lol cuck scooters coming from a brunch bring fag.”
          It’s part and parcel with being a rider. If I showed up at GoJ’s bike haunts on my bright yellow kawaski, I’m sure he’d have plenty of one-liners about how did I get a hold of Bumblebee’s offspring, the yellow suits me cuz’ only a scrawny chicken rides a UJM… etc. etc. Then he’d point out his bike and I’d be suitably impressed about an ‘old man’s’ bike…

    1. Do it. I always get extremely giddy (and probs higher T levels) when I pick a girl up from her school, and I see the the little schlub guy she’s talking to get cut off while she spins around and hops on back and I feel up her bare legs before revving my pipes in his face.

  18. Bikes are pussy magnets, there is no doubt about it. But they aren’t for everybody.
    Back in the day I had a Honda (don’t laugh) 360, I think it was. Loved the hell out of that bike. One day I was on the freeway, cruising in the right lane, and a U-Haul cut right over and nearly killed me. I remember the back end of the truck passing about six inches from my front tire as the U-Haul drifted over. Driver didn’t see me.
    Then, a couple months later, an old lady ran a red light and turned left, directly in front of me, from the left-turn lane. I had the green light, going straight at her. Didn’t matter, she didn’t see me either. I laid the bike down. Slid on the pavement and came to a stop directly under her car (she stopped, of course, when I was about to hit her dead-on). Got some road burn, and a bruised ego, but that was about it. Sold the bike the next day. Never got another one.
    Bikes are really cool, and far be it for me to rain on anybody’s parade…but you can’t control how other people drive. You’re a sitting duck on a bike. No air bags, no fenders, no steel-and-glass encasing around you. It’s tempting to think that you are in control out there at all times, and you can avoid anything that’s coming. But sometimes you can’t. I have four dead friends that prove that adage – all killed on motorcycles, including two in the past two years alone. But I get it if you feel like you just have to do it…we all gotta die, might as well go out doing what you love. But just be careful, if you decide to get a bike. (And get lots of insurance, too – vehicular, medical and life.)

    1. +100 on the insurance. Two men killed in my neighborhood on motorcycles with no life insurance, both had kids. Financial impact on top of the death was devastating to the families. Losing the husband/dad was bad enough.

        1. No, the kids are significantly impacted though. I personally believe that my kids are my responsibility. Ensuring they are provided for in the event I die seems prudent to me.
          ETA: if you’re concerned that mom isn’t going to spend the money on the kids, make the beneficiary a trust managed by someone who you know will ensure the money is spent to maintain the household and take care of the kids. That is- make the trustee your brother/father etc.

    2. Bob I’ve had a lot of close calls…a LOT. I attribute almost all of my survival of those instances to my riding course and sobriety while riding. I haven’t been in a crash, but if I ever did, I might hang up the boots. In fact, 2 weeks ago I had a flat rear tire and nearly lost it going 30mph. The handlebars were going nuts and I was shocked I didn’t fly off. Gave me a scare, but was just another cold reminder of the risks involved. Heh, and you know after reading comment after comment saying “I know dude(s) who died” is not lowering my cortisol levels any bit

      1. I know guys who are just so into it (like you) that they can’t imagine stopping. And I get that totally. Another buddy of mine got in a wreck and busted his fibula (while incurring other major damage), had a steel rod inserted after surgery, and it took, god, probably a solid year for him to recover where he could ride again. He uses a cane and has a limp, but by god, he’s back up on that steel horse. Hopefully, my man, if you ever have even a really close call like I did, you’ll reassess the situation. In the meantime, I will keep my fingers crossed for you, and for all other riders…a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do!

    3. Ladies don’t have to have the Full Visual Impact of Macho Leather Moto-Man; the ability to share a cool story about your free-wheeling days and being a sensible enough to quit taking crazy risks with your life; that is an appealing combination for many sensible women.

      1. If the percentages aren’t in my favor, I don’t take the risk unless there is no other option…death comes for us all, eventually…I’m not going to taunt it. To each their own.

      1. He patiently sat there, waiting, in traffic, and then made a perfect turn to line himself up and drive down that long straightaway — no weaving, so swerving, nothing — for like 2 or 3 blocks. The only thing that stopped him was that barrier or he would have kept going and going. I don’t have much experience with PCP, but nothing about that video suggests he was out of his mind drunk or high to me.

        1. From what little experience I have, that’s an aspect of PCP. If you’re smoking pot, you’re likely to be lethargic and silly. If you’re drunk, giggly or belligerent. But there’s really no predicting what someone on PCP will do. They see hallucinations, they don’t feel pain, and they don’t always know where or when they are. It’s scary as hell to be around someone like that.

  19. Bikes are awesome to ride but I wouldn’t buy one just to pick up chicks. And to be honest, its only a certain kind of chick that would want you just because you have a bike.

      1. speaking of bad boy chasers one of my all time ideal looking women is celebrating her birthday today…Bond girl and all around French hottie Bérénice Marlohe turns 37 and is a fuck ton hotter than most 22 year olds and in her prime might be in my personal top 5 as she posses not just raw and objective hottie quality everything but also happens to fall into every single one of the kneeman’s particular tastes.

        1. that would be her. She captures every single one of the female traits I look for.

        2. Acts like an aloof bitch, knows she’s hotter than shit, wants a guy to see through her bullshit and force her to orgasm…

        3. I’m not denying that she is hot as all fuck, but I personally wouldn’t put her in my top 5 or even top 10…but that is purely personal preference.

        4. I’d put her on my WDB list (Would Definitely Bang). Honestly I only have two lists. WDB and WDNB.

        5. Can’t a man crack a Marilyn Monroe joke these days? Heh.

        6. oh yeah, no doubt. For me personal preference takes way. Her body type, her hair and her eyes as well as her jaw line and some other key attributes are specific things that I like. She would never be in a top 10 of someone who prefers big tits, blonde hair or other types qualities that she simply doesn’t posses.

        7. by the way, forgetting the debate between women types which is fun but never ending, look at this very straight forward and factual line from the MM wiki…..talk about telling
          Those (Monroe’s) measurements were 5 ft. 5.5 inches tall; 35 inch bust; 22 inch waist (approximately 2-3 inches less than the average American woman in the 1950s and 12 inches less than average today); and 35 inch hips, with a bra size of 36D

        8. Yeah, I love how modern fatties try the sneer of “Monroe was one of us!”
          Um no, Orca, she was a size 2 and I’ve seen her dress in the Smithsonian and can confirm it. You could fit four of her in your clothes, lady.
          EDIT: Name changed so as to not offend caviar producers.

        9. Monroe wasn’t much better looking than an average chick back in her day. She became a “sex symbol” because she was slutty as fuck. She’s only “hot” in comparison to modern chicks because she was relatively thin.

        10. but not just that (though you are right and that’s hilarious though I am not a fan of the besmirching of the noble beluga which gives its ovaries for my favorite vacation snack) but how they say that we waist was 2 inches smaller than the average woman of her time and 12 inches smaller than the average woman of today…12 inches!!!!!!!

        11. As a platinum fake blonde, I agree. But the red head 19 year old Monroe? Would bang with righteous fury until neither she nor I could walk, ever again.

        12. yup…and here too especially she simply isn’t my type. I am not kicking Marilyn out of bed (unless she is dead from an overdose or there is a Kennedy assassin outside or something) but I would take Jane Birkin over her 100 times out of 100.

    1. Bad boy chasers, what Bob Smith said. And they come in all shapes and sizes, so you get your pick.

    2. The first girl I picked up was about to finish high school and looked great. All others were hot too. When you’re on a bike, and if you make an effort to look, you’ll notice that every girl stops to look at you. And I do mean EVERY girl. No matter what she’s doing, she’ll turn to get a good look at ya. Those are ALL looks of desire. I didn’t wire girls’ brains, but whoever did definitely rode a motorcycle

      1. When you’re on a bike, and if you make an effort to look, you’ll notice that every girl stops to look at you. And I do mean EVERY girl.

        I ride a sport bike and I’m early 30’s. The amount of looks I get from 18-21 year old girls is astonishing compared to how invisible I am otherwise.

  20. I love my life too much to take this risk.
    You can be the best driver, one day an idiot will not look before he drives aaaaand R.I.P.
    Also in Terms of Logistics a car is way better of course. car fucks.. etc.. you know

    1. I love my life too much to not to take the risk. Heh.
      Scottish Fatalism FTW!

      1. Get your ass raped by a truck. You can write on your gravestone how cool you were.

  21. I had a Honda 750 gas-powered-vibrator when I was in college, and it worked. Gave a girl a ride to her apartment to get her spare car key. Stopped by my place first to drop off something – bedded her very easily right then and there. Took a friend of my sister’s riding in the hills and she was all over me. I didn’t even have good game. Or any game. A V-twin would have been better, but anything that vibrates between her legs is good enough to warm her up.

  22. I had a bike until I had kids, got rid of it mostly because I didn’t want to keep my bike outside in the elements anymore.
    My bike got me instant attraction from girls. Every girlfriend I had loved to ride with me on it, and they always wanted to hop in the sack afterwards. Partially from the stimulation, but also from the thrills due to acceleration. I wouldnt buy one just to get girls, but if you happen to ride its a plus.

  23. Lol cuck scooters coming from a brub brub fag.
    Get yestercentury technology for tomorrow’s price. Go ahead, buy the thing and look like an imbecile.

  24. Depending on where you live, it may be complicated to get a license. Here in Quebec, you have to go through a process that lasts over a year, including 11 months of probation where you are not allowed to ride alone (I mean here going on the road without another biker who has his permit since at least two years.)
    I have decided to give it a try in 2014, age 43. I got my license in July of 2016.
    I should have tried that way before!

    1. how do you not ride a cycle alone? is there a govt bureaucrat with a clipboard sitting in your sidecar for the 11 months?

      1. Sorry, I guess I wasn’t clear enough, I corrected my text. By “alone”, I mean going on the road without another biker (or a group) who has his permit since at least two years,

  25. Biker game works until an 85-year-old dingbat makes a left turn in front of you. Then it’s on to mangled game, or vegetable game, assuming there are such things.

    1. Then you can practice game on the ICU nurses. “Hey, I think my bedpan needs to be changed, babe …” *wink*

    2. Man up, sissy boy. Good riders avoid these pitfalls. You don’t know what you are talking about.

      1. I’ll remind you of that comment when you’re a quadriplegic and your severed two-inch chode is shriveling on the asphalt.

    3. M/C is a natural progression for anyone who spent tons of hours as a kid riding a bicycle. I rode bicycles through traffic and on any road. I bunny hopped curbes when I had to get out of someone’s way. Rode in the side grass when asshole cars were passing. I see too many morons on expensive bicycles riding 2 feet or more into the pavement like they think they have the right or like they think insurance will fix them. Don’t they know how to bunny hop to the side and m/x it in the grass and rocks? Obviously they have bare minimum skills and likely can’t even ride a wheelie or ride with no hands. I always rode with no hands holding a big gulp and chili dog while I rode.
      Motorcycles aren’t for everyone and neither are bicycles. But any seasoned bicyclist can stay on top of a M/C and likely has a better awareness and reflexes.
      A middle aged guy who gets a highway M/C and takes a course in riding is a late learner and some things must be learned early in life. A BMX or freestyler learns to land on their feet. Avoid high speeds if you’re an older M/C rider with a beer gut. It’s hard for a man with pear shaped torseau to jettison themselves away from a tumbling bike on the highway and get their legs out from under the frame. But crashing is part of BMX riding and controlled crashing must be squarely learned with M/C riding too.
      If you did anything remotely near to this as a kid:
      https://i.ytimg.com/vi/K9XCKP9KN7A/maxresdefault.jpg
      then competent motorcycle riding would come very naturally. That guy could easily learn to control a M/C with the same skill and control in any situation.
      OOH LA LA WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
      https://ourshirtsrock.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/evaskyway24.png?w=480&h=478
      What a tiny micro sized ass. You could thread that ass through a needle. Regular bike riding chicks pack some of the tightest ass-packages in the world:
      https://ep1.pinkbike.org/p4pb9171627/p4pb9171627.jpg
      Dang-a-wang that’s a tight ass package she’s packing. And there’s only one way in the world that an older scrot can approach a girl like that. With HANDLEBAR GAME!!
      http://www.fatbmx.com/uploads4/2010Q2/wk22/leigh44nouriehandstand.jpg

  26. 10,000 people per day are turning 65 in USA.
    That’s a shitload of going blind ,pill popping, stroked out seizures driving Buicks.. FVK motorcycles..If gramps don’t get ya the texting bimbo will..

    1. I want to go peacefully in my sleep like Grandpa; not screaming like his passengers did before he drove them over the cliff.

  27. Great Article! Whether you would own a bike or not, this was a great addition to an already well-rounded supply of articles on this site. Maybe we can sprinkle in a few car articles in the near future?…

    1. That’s one’s awesome. Looks like one I would’ve spied in a hobby shop window at age 10 and saved my allowance for six months to buy. “Dad, I want Grand Dragon Lion!”

  28. Bikes are sweet. Wish I had one. Really can’t afford it right now and need to get license. Only thing is other drivers, now all starting at phones while driving, and with population increasingly crowding the streets, really opening them up is hard to find smooth open roads to safely do that without joining a track or something.
    I can imagine getting a few new bangs a year with bike game alone. I see some pretty doofy lookin guys with bang-worthy tail in tote. Some guys I grew up around would race at Mid-Ohio Sports Car Course. Crazy as hell, would stand up piked wheelies at 100mph and front tire wouldn’t hit the ground till 150mph+. Lot’s of illegal street dragging too we used to go watch. Bikes vs bikes, bikes vs cars…some bikes with wheelie bars. some people died back then. My cousin’s husband ran gas on a Busa until he got into 6’s at Milan Drag Way in Michigan… said “Promised myself once I hit 6’s I was selling it.” And he did. I’ve seen dudes on 600s own guys that can’t ride Liter+ bikes. Totally worth getting professional training by a track pro if possible.
    Then again, a hog can’t be beat, take your pick.

    1. The best times to ride when it’s warm is during weekdays between 10 and 4 when most people are working and after 7 when people get home from work. Not many people on the road then

  29. Simply not practical nor worth the risk. I understand the thrill of it though. If I needed to “acquire” something to help me get laid, I’d probably go for a dog.

      1. I don’t get the reference as I haven’t seen the film, but I’m going to deduce that what you said isn’t a favorable comparison. Also another reason why I don’t need a motorcycle is because I already have an inanimate object that increases my sex appeal, it’s called a guitar.

  30. If you live in an area without winter, first of all, I’m jealous. Second of all, you can easily own a bike and use it year round, and it’ll save you money, because you won’t be dumping $$ into fixing things like radiators and hoses. Every car I’ve ever owned has cost me in the long run. Every motorcycle I’ve ever owned I bought used and sold for more than I bought it for, and I never put a dime of work into (besides oil changes).
    I love bikes.
    The only thing that scares me is left-turners.

    1. I honestly don’t know anyone who owns one of these:
      http://flightability.bizland.com/ramphosduel.jpg
      Sometimes I’ll be in line somewhere waiting and I’ll show the ‘flying boat’ pic to the next girl in line if she’s decent. Except if she’s some fat Indian woman buying hemerrhoid cream, then I’ll hop to the next checkout lane and so on until I wedge next to a hottie. Then I show the phone to her as I lean in and say in a low whisper “pretty cool huh?”
      I used to talk too loud during approach-p/u. Whisper works best around crowds. I know the stats on the Ramphos ultralight ‘flying boat’ so I tell her in a whisper near her ear but not right in it like smooching (not yet), I whisper: “that’s a 2 cylinder 50hp Rotax engine. It has the bigger 21 square meter wings for higher rate of climb which I prefer.”
      I could go on with ‘stats’ but I just flip the phone to her and say “put in your # and I’ll send you more pics” or “what’s your # so I can send you flirtatious text messages”.
      I really don’t own such a ‘flying boat’ so I could never actually take a girl out on one. But the picture seems to turn most girls noses near. I like taking a girl on a hike, walk or bike ride. Stuff that doesn’t cost anything. Trim girls don’t need to be eating all the time anyway.
      Just the pic of the ‘flying boat’ alone is too hard for many people to believe and the girl always steps in close to get a better look see. They always say “cool” and I hand the phone halfway to them while doing my thumb on the ‘zoom-in’ feature while I tell her to ‘zoom-in’ here. Our thumbs are bumping while we’re both trying to zoom in the pic. Heh . . we’re literally doing ‘thumbzies’ in the store within seconds of just meeting. I’m telling you It’s a great picture to show!!

    2. It also depends greatly on the girl and the airplane. Just a couple months ago myself and three buddies were taking four warbirds to an airshow for display. We were going to show up, beat the field up a little, display the planes for a few hours, pick up some complementary fuel and leave. We had a couple empty seats so I called a little smoke show I’d taken for a ride a while back. She was there in 30 minutes with another that looked just like her. The funny thing is when she asked what we were doing I just said “you don’t need to know, just get your ass over here before I give the seat to someone else”. We did a couple fly-by’s in diamond formation and as we were landing she said over the ICS, “look they’re all waiving, we’re rock stars”. I said that I was the rock star she was just a groupie. We hung out for several hours, saddled up and left. We formed up over the field and beat the field up on the way out. When we got back she said she’d do anything to repay me. I looked over at her and said “does that mean you’re paying for the room”. She said hell yea. Some girls love airplanes some don’t. Same way with bikes. It just so happens I don’t care for girls that don’t like either.

      1. I was thinking about your story while I was mowing the lawn today. The first “official” time I took my wife-to-be out around 10 years ago was in an airplane. She foolishly agreed to go along on my flight review, which was of a sneaky multi-purpose, 1) to get my hi-po endorsement, 2) flight review, 3) impress the socks off her (her dad was a pilot too). She was fine until the steep turns, held it for a bit, then threw up all over the back seat of the 172. We spent the last few minutes of our first date cleaning up her puke in the back seat of the airplane together, how romantic. Hell ten years and two kids later we are still together, airplanes make memories. 😉
        I’ve never flown a warbird, just drooled at lots of them at various airshows, I do fly a jungle jet these days though. Curious what kind of bird you were flying? The Reading ww2 airshow is coming up soon, got to get the fires going…lol.

        1. I’ve been to the museum there. Isn’t that where they’re rebuilding that P-61 Black Widow? They have some cool stuff there.
          We were flying SNJ’s
          I’ve taken a lot of people up doing aerobatics in Decathlons. Putting them in the back I’ve gotten two people sick and several near sick. It usually happens after we’re done and just doing sight-seeing. I started putting them in the front. The problem there is if they don’t know anything about flying, you have to lean over them to start it up then sit back and strap in. I’ve had a lot more luck putting them in the front of an Extra 300 even though you tend to do a lot more violent aerobatics. It doesn’t seem how hard you fly either. I’ve done totally soft aerobatics with only a couple maneuvers and gotten them sick.
          I remember reading Chris Kile’s book, Taya got sick on their first date.
          Your story reminded me of this.

          The dudes flying were a couple dicks here, she was obviously getting sick before they floated everyone.

  31. Boy does this article ever ring true. My first really good fuck came after I gave the girl a ride on my mountain bike. It was a pedal bike but she held me good around the waist as I pedaled off from a party (college town) to find some beer at midnight. I was cracking jokes at the party but my real game was shit back then. We were low on booze so I said “I’m gonna ‘wahoo’ some beer”. A nearby frat house had some 90% empty kegs in their alley and I knew how to remove the liquid gold with a piece of hose and milk jug. So this girl says “I wanna come along”. She hopped on my bike seat as I stood and pedalled.
    We never returned to the party. I was in great shape so I pedalled like a gorilla up a hill and she squeezed tight on my chest as I breated and pedalled. I must have pheromone-fucked her brain with my sweat scent because we were actually fucking on a park bench 5 min later and I still didn’t know her name. I was quite young and she lied about her age. She was 10 yrs older but said she was only 2 yrs older. But boy was she a whore. She kissed wonderfully at first. I’d never had such royal whore service before.
    Before that fuck, my game was so lame. On a ‘date’ with my old gf previously, I would sit in her apartment and talk more and more bullshit with her. Then hours later she’d say “eeh . . wanna come under the covers with me. It’s cold”. I’d then do this lame ass hugging and kissing like what you see in some stupid movie. And then the finale was some missionary bullshit and more snuggling. I don’t want to make anyone here vomit picturing my sappy scene, sorry but I had things to learn. I was so hesitant to just rape her, spank her and bend her every which way like a pretzel and blast her every hole. Yes my fucking style was lame. Sickeningly lame.
    And so the ‘bike ride’ did indeed deliver to me my first real bam-boom ho fuck.
    This article is truly amazing. I never really considered it, but now that I think about it, it was the two wheeler that kicked me into gear with working a girl like a rag doll. The girl on my mountain bike turned into such putty on that ride and I could sense it. On the park bench two seconds into kissing, I fingered her. I still believed at the time that you had to further suck her twat so her tight jeans were off in seconds and yes I licked. It wasn’t rank, fairly clean but I said “ptooey, she’s getting fucked” and again within seconds the dick was in. Just a few “I’ll show you” strokes, no blast but I said “let’s go to my place, the park ranger will bust us”. At home, it was full service ho, frontwards, backwards and a good 4-5 times or more that night.
    Then shortly thereafter I had a 250cc Yamaha M/C. A girl at a club saw me sitting on it and I said “let’s ride”. Again she turned to butter. I had my way with her and again she was like a bendable ‘Gumbi’ girl sex figurine. I don’t know what made me clam up so much with my early first fucks. “eeh . . wanna come under the covers?” Shit that’s embarrasing.
    I should get on my mountain bike and brush up on my wheelies and shit.

    1. I’m happy for you, but TMI bro. It sounds like you had her at “I wanna come along” anyway.

      1. Yes it was a 2 stroke 250 which means it had roughly twice the power for the cc compared to 4 stroke. They go fast, over 100 mph with 6 spd trans but handle like shit above 80, so they’re good for around campus or town but deadly on highway. I forget the mobster movie where the thug does a street chase with one of those light 2strokes and crashes. He then picks up the bike and throws it at the windshield of the car chasing him. Totally manly.
        I had a Yamaha RD 250 which are also like the old cafe racing bikes. They’re light and were a dime a dozen back in the day. Kawasaki also had a 2stroke KH 750 which had some crazy power, think 1500(4stroke) power.

        Tell me with a fixed up shiny old garage bike in front of a club with a leather jacket and cigarette behind your ear that you wouldn’t get some looks. I set the points and just sprayed tire shine on the bike, seat, fenders, chrome and was just sitting at a nearby club and a petite girl walked by with few words and hopped right on. The motor buzzes your handgrips and seat especially. Listen to that 2stroke “zzzzzz”. (similar to the bike I had)

        And here’s the clencher. They were largely discontinued in the US but are still like common volkswagens in India and other third world countries that are agulf in rampant r-selection and copulation. Put two and two together. IT’S THE CROTCHBUZZ SEAT effect of downsized putt putt bikes jamming the streets of Bombay and Myanmar that not only loosten bowels, which I’ve experienced, but also have the females crapping out offspring right and left. Pound for pound those little beater bikes with their tooth-filling jarring UHF 2stroke hum is like no other 4 stroke. A 250-400cc revving at that magical 8-10k frequency will pound the snot and the smeg out of any female that sits with her tail bone against the tail light. It’s 100x better than sitting on a rumbling washing machine. LOOK at all the brown people riding those things. Antique bikes too. Their mothers likely honeymooned right after hopping onto the back of one of those seats in their early to mid teens.

        That college chick was no match for that buzzing seat on my old RD250. They’re incredibly easy to work on too if you have a stash of old parts.
        “zzzzzzzz”

  32. In the beginning, I wasn’t going to read this article. After all, I don’t ride a bike. But, after reading this, for some strange reason, I want to ride one now.
    I’m 52. No longer give a fuck if I die (in a good way). And I don’t care if women love me or ignore me.
    I just want to ride a bike for the fun of it. And the freedom.
    Thanks for the article Liam O’Connor.

    1. I think you are in the US, is that right? What state do you live in? And I’ve a vague sense that you’ve never been married?

    2. I ride for 30 and never had a fall.
      Just don’t do anything stupid and you will be fine.

    3. “I’m 52.”
      I’m 56 now, bought my third bike at 51 after 30 years without Motorcycles. It was glorious, fell off more than once, but it all came to a tragic end when my bike was stolen, BASSARDS.
      My wife thinks that marked the end of my ‘Mid Life Crisis’ as she put it. But I’m plotting to buy another..

      1. Good for you. Don’t let them stop you.
        I’m searching the world-wide-web now for a bike and an instructor.

    4. Be sure and take a rider safety course and drill counter steering into your head, before you ever climb on one. Once you start to ride practice counter steering every ride. One of my sons and a friend of mine both wrecked their bikes early on because they didn’t understand counter steering. Both described their panic to me as they tried to steer their bikes around a curve like they were driving a car. The harder they fought the more the bike headed off the road until they finally locked ’em up and slid out. Remember this simple rule with the handlebars: To go right, push right. To go left, push left. Counter steering is what causes the bike to lean and the harder you push the steeper the incline of the lean (up to the point that you break traction and slide). When I head out on the road, I have a very simple approach to riding. The highway is a battlefield. Everyone else is trying to kill me. I have no weapons nor armor, only my wits and my reflexes. This approach has kept me alive and relatively unscathed on street bikes since 1978. I could die on my bike tomorrow. I know that. I would die happy.

    5. Hey Ed. Same age here and I never owned a bike. After a lot of peer pressure from a friend I took the course and reluctantly bought one September 2016. I am here to tell you that I absolutely love this thing. I own a Porsche that I drive like a madman. I also have supercharged a jet ski which I ride hard. The bike, a 2017 Triumph Street Twin, I drive like a granny lol. I do not go on highways, and I avoid the big multilane roads. I just take back roads and ride around the beach here in Florida. I take it easy. I look out for all the texting idiots out there. I am dating lots of 19-23 yr olds and most of them love going for rides. Two were too afraid. No mishaps yet. Just take it slow and easy. Get a Shoei. You will love it.

      1. Really encouraging. Thanks-a-million. For the two who are afraid of the bike, take them on the jet ski.
        I lived in FL. Six months in Bonita Springs, six months in Miami Beach. Where-a-bouts are you, if I may ask?

  33. I’ve had motorcycles since I was 15. Gotta a whole lotta pussy.
    Can’t wait to get on my Harley Dyna Low Rider this summer wearing the ROK T-shirt I just ordered.
    I also have a KTM 500 EXC for off-road fun.

  34. I’ve wanted to learn to ride but have never been able to manage that foot-shifting thing. And I’m fine with manual shift in cars, so I get the principle but somehow it never clicked (when a friend w/a bike tried to teach me years ago.)
    I’m also leering of the whole balancing thing. I’d be tempted, had I the resources, to get a trike. This one has a nice bitch seat on it.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4f13dabd471dfd7295dc5922905e82063b0a38d6be619f8470308a804c4b29b2.jpg

  35. No thanks, considered getting a motorcycle a while back… If you want to be safe and enjoy the adrenaline rush, get a convertible sports car…

      1. Wtf are you talking about? To each his own, I love my life..the money I make and the girls I bang. Why give all that up for a crotch rocket? Do you like the vibrations on your clit?

    1. Safe safe safe safe.
      That’s masculinity right there.

  36. For the record, chicks don’t dig motorcycles. So if that is your primary reason for getting one, don’t do it. Do the rest of us a favor, and don’t become a statistic when you crash for the nanny states of the world to hold over our heads.
    Also the hierarchy of motorcycles is as follows. Any kind of bike, standard naked, sport, supersport,adventure, touring, supermoto, scramblers, dual sports, cruisers. Underneath those are any chinesium bikes and at the very bottom of the pile is Harley Davidson.

    1. So much BS in one paragraph. You probably are afraid to ride. Girls like bikes and Harley’s most of all.
      Man up, sissy.

      1. This coming from someone who thinks Harley’s are “beasts”. Please go back to sipping your unicorn frapp at Starbucks in all your overpriced Harley branded gear.

  37. On the other hand, dressing in colorful tight racing clothes riding a sports bike with your butt up will definitely make you look GAY. It doesn’t matter how fast you ride.

  38. This new GAY millennial generation is afraid to drive and don’t own cars. It takes balls to ride a 200 kg beast like a Harley. Women can smell that.
    Try to seduce a woman with public transportation.

    1. Try to seduce a woman with public transportation.

      That there’s funny I don’t care who you are LOL

  39. Lol. Sport bike = Cuck scooter?
    Funniest shit I’ve heard all day. Going fast in a straight-line, cornering slow, and thinking that’s exhilarating is for fat-bellied, brow-beaten mid-life crisis-ers with something to prove to their shrill wives, who’ve been mudsharking with the drug dealer they “knew” in college.
    (Disclaimer: guys who are in real biker gangs don’t fall in this category. e.g. you’ve killed or witnessed someone be killed)

  40. Cant decide if I should buy a Cafe Racer, a Harley Iron 883 (and later swap the motor) or get a Dual Purpose bike…..
    Ill decide eventually.

    1. Swap motors? Victory Cycles came with a decent US made Polaris motor. Polaris engine co then discontinued Victory and is reviving Indian cycles. Polaris makes aircraft engines that are extremely reliable. It’s about time. The Indian lineup looks sweet
      https://im.rediff.com/getahead/2014/dec/05bikes-indian-scout.jpg
      https://s1.cdn.autoevolution.com/images/news/gallery/2015-indian-roadmaster-shows-up-photos-video-and-price-available-photo-galleryvideo_16.jpg

  41. I live in the Greater Milwaukee area, so bikes have always fascinated me. My pops had a 1998 metallic blue Ultra Classic that looked sick as hell. Being that HD is headquartered in Milwaukee, it added extra meaning.
    But over the years HD has had some pretty shady business practices for being an “American Legend” like hiring HB-1 workers instead of employing Americans to build their bikes. The novelty aspect has kind of wore off and to be honest, they are not nearly as big around here as they were from basically the 80s to early 2000s.
    If I were to take the plunge and get a bike, I’d probably go with a sport bike. I’ve always been fascinated by the speed and competition aspect of those bikes. But as many guys have said here, bikes are a death trap.
    Growing up, I got my kicks to riding ATV’s. My dad bought us matching Honda Foreman 500 ATVs, I loved that machine. Nothing like pounding the gravel at 45+ MPH. Had a lot of fun during the fall and winter months too tooling around.

  42. Mine is a Harley with 1200CC’s.

    If only Harley weren’t such an anti-American company these days. Looking back, Reagan should’ve let the ingrates at HD succumb to “free trade”.

  43. You can get some of the benefits of this without the dangers of actually riding a bike by dressing like one and learning about bikes, then talking to women. Tell them it is in the shop for a week or something. Won’t always work, but it’s something to think about.

  44. As people have been saying, motorcycles are dangerous, but that’s part of the fun if you’re inclined that way. Accidents often seem to happen as a result of other road users. A friend of mine got hit on his new Harley by a poorly sighted old lady coming out of a junction. And don’t forget the added bonus of being able to kill off bad girlfriends by bumping them off pillion style while at top end, and then crying to the police it was a terrible accident and what a great girl she was…blah blah blah.

  45. You get a motorbike because you like them/it’s your passion, not to impress some dumb broad

  46. You get a motorbike because you like them/it’s your passion, not to impress some dumb broad. That’s just a bonus

  47. You shouldn’t try to talk someone into riding, and you should not let yourself be talked into riding. You should only ride, if it is not possible to talk you out of it.

  48. I do not have enough fingers for all the deaths and accidents of biker friends. Better off getting a sexy muscle car.

  49. You’re a cuck if you ride a sport bike? Really? I must be super cuck then because I ride a super sport: a Kawasaki ZX-14 to be exact. This is a machine that will outperform most supercars, so if that makes me a cuck, I’m guilty as charged, LOL! What’s odd though is I seem to get a lot of play from women at stop lights, on the highway, riding across parking lots, cruising through neighborhoods…winks, smiles, waves. And it amazes me the number of younger women that still want to climb on and go for a ride even when they see that I’m an “old guy.” Even my insurance agent’s 28 y.o. secretary batted her eyelashes at me and said “I’ve never been on a motorcycle…” So I’m not sure how that sport bike makes me a cuck, but okay, if you say so…
    I guess my dual sport probably makes me cuck too. Last summer we had a pool party for the daughter of one of my wife’s friends. I had a pool and patio packed with teenage girls and their mamas. One of the neighbor girls requested I get out my KLR-650 and take her for a ride around the back pasture. That turned into about half the afternoon as each one of them in turn wanted to take a ride and at least half their mamas too! I don’t even know how many hugs and bubbling thank you’s I got! Dâmn, cucked again I guess…
    I’ve been riding crotch rockets since 1979 when I bought a 1975 Yamaha RD-350 (that’s a two stroke oil burner for you young ‘uns). You had to be a real rider to handle bikes of that vintage. They didn’t have the frame geometry, suspension, tires and tractable engines of modern bikes. When that two stroke engine came into its power band it was like you hit the nitrous. You either really learned to ride those bikes or you ended up crippled or dead right quick. I was stationed in Florida and didn’t have any shortage of attractive, scantily clad young women more than willing to climb on the back of that beast. A good friend and fellow Airman had an H2 750 triple Kawasaki. It was stupid fast, but handled like a school bus. There was a reason they called that bike the Widowmaker. It was absolutely terrifying through the twisties to be sure. But he never had any problem filling the “bitch seat.” Hmmm. To each his own I guess, but before you go hatin’ on sport bikes, maybe you ought to consider this a “second opinion” from an old school rider. 😉

    1. Ah the RD-350. Did it have that gold, DG head on it? I use to ride a RZ-350, a little more refined but still a handful when it was on the pipe. I also had some time on a KZ-1000 and a CBX, I raced an 87 CR-500R in the old man class. I had a dual-sport bike for a while. I loved the smoke belching two strokes. I still ride today but my son’s and I all ride CRF-450X’s. I stay off the tracks and stick to the trails, it’s a deal I made with myself when I decided to keep riding passed 40.
      I had the same experience you did with some girl I brought to a party wanting me to give all her friends a ride on my Harley. I would up banging one on an extended dance version of a ride I took her on. What a little slut, on the ride back she was saying “what about (so-and-so), I’d kill you if you did this to me). It happened a lot, girls lining up at parties to go for a ride. All the guys who showed up in their Nissan Sentra’s thought we were assholes and arrogant but they were just jealous.
      There’s something disappointing reading the replies here. Here’s the way I see things. If something isn’t for you–fine. However, I see a lot of guys here implying that because it’s not for them, other people are dumb for doing it. Any man who calls himself a man shouldn’t be quoting statistics informing the rest of us how dangerous something is. A true red piller will be informed enough on his own to make the decision. It’s like I said earlier, riding isn’t for everyone, you either have it or you don’t. If you don’t, part of being a red pill man is simply saying “it’s not for me, I don’t pack the gear to do it” and either live with that or start packing the gear. Don’t ever justify not being able to do something by saying other people are taking undue risk. I would expect that from a woman, not another man. By admitting to yourself you simply don’t pack the gear to do something, you’re forced to either embrace your inadequacies or do something about them. There’s nothing wrong with with saying something isn’t for you and living with that.
      I’m reminded of a good friend of mine who was a tactical jet fighter squadron commander who recently retired. He had been a demonstration pilot as a young guy doing the airshow circuit before the military went to dedicated demonstration pilots for all their airshows. I watched a couple videos of his performances, the guy was the ace of the base for those shows. I asked him if he missed it. He simply said “yes but that’s a young mans game” and left it at that. I thought that was about the most red pill thing he could have said. I’ve run into the same type of thing myself. I’ve had very high handicap pilots remark about something I do while out flying by myself, either tearing up the pattern or something I’ve put one of my son’s through while teaching them. I think to my self “shit dude, I have more time either inverted or in formation than you have total time–shut the fuck up” and then just say back to them “it’s all in what you’re tuned up to doing”.

      1. No, Aeronaut, I would have loved to have put that totally cool gold head on that bike and a set of chambers, but money prevented mods like that at the time. I did put the best tires on it for that day and time, Fox shocks and progressive rate springs in the forks. I’ve always been a canyon carver and I could smoke just about everyone in the twisties. I had a good friend who had more motocross and enduro trophies than he had shelves for. He graduated to street bikes and told me if I passed him I was riding beyond my limits. I had to try. I managed to get around him one day, hung a hard left on fresh asphalt and ended up on my a$$! He was right…he was that good. He walked right past my bleeding carcass and checked the bike for damage. He “Said you’ll heal. We’ll have to fix the bike.” Talk about compassionate, lol. I’ve learned a thing or two about cornering since then I assure you. And also about always wearing protective gear, ahem.
        Yeah, you’re right about all these Negative Nellies. They sound just like my dad: “Bikes are too dangerous.” “Look at the statistics.” “I have all these friends that are dead or crippled.” It’s not like I don’t know all of this, I just choose to take the risk. Some people skydive, some free climb rocks, some mixed gas dive and these are also dangerous. If you don’t like bikes and don’t want to ride great. Don’t. But don’t tell me not ride. I understand that “young man’s game” thing all too well. I figure this super sport will be my last crotch rocket. My reflexes are still good and probably will be for about five more years. After that I’ll be looking for a So-Cal slinky with modern suspension and S&S power. Probably a production chopper like an Iron Horse would suit me for stop light to stop light and turning heads. I simply will not own a Harley because they’re like a$$holes; everybody has one. But hey if hog’s are your thing more power to ya’, they’re just not for me. But as lolknee pointed out, I’ll have this bike for a season and then move on to the next motorcycling chapter in my life. Heck, who knows, I may still be riding in my eighties.

        1. My father was a firefighter. He use to tell me countless stories about picking up bodies with a square nose shovel after bike accidents. He was someone who knew risk vs reward when it came to living your life. When I got my first street bike he simply said be careful. He worried about me the same way I worry about my son’s. He did the same thing I did which is try to give them the tools to survive. Not long before he died he told me how many times he saw my brothers and I in the victims he was called to help. As I get older, I think that took guts once we got old enough to just let us live our lives with his encouragement.

    2. It’s because the word “Kawasaki” are hard to pronounce. Damn japs!
      And because old fatty, bearded, smelly pigs are soooo badass when they listen to metal and ride their hogs mannnn!!

      1. Yeah, old fat smelly pigs living out some teenage fantasy about being a one percenter. I used to ride my Yamaha RD-350 to a Harley machine shop / body shop and shoot a little air brush and design tattoos for them back in the late 70’s. These were real bikers, hard cats, practically all of them convicted felons and some even three time losers. They gave me quite a bit of sh!t about my bike, but respected me for standing my ground on hardware and riding style (and also evading “payin’ paper” on a routine basis, lol!). They also gave me a first hand education on what real “bad boys” and “alpha males” act like and how they treat women. It wasn’t pretty. Those guys were the real deal and some were very dangerous men. Suffice it to say I didn’t smart off to them! I did artwork and they paid me and when they razzed me about my bike I took it good naturedly. Mostly what I see on “Hawgs” now are a bunch of middle aged fat guys riding $25K+ factory iron with loud pipes out playing biker on the weekend. They haven’t a clue about the real biker lifestyle and based on what I’ve seen wouldn’t have the balls to live it.

  50. Have had a motorcycle license for almost 40 years. Have wife and sons now and can’t indulge….but it’s a pussy magnet
    Have had girls walk up at red lights and hope on back. Have had more than one fast food girlie, who when I asked when the store closed, told me when their shift ended instead.
    These types tend to be bold, and are willing to do anything. They don’t just lay there!
    But, takes your riding seriously. Motorcycling is a while other animal, and not as safe as cars

  51. “Stay away from the cuck-scooters like sport bikes and mopeds.”
    And what exactly is “cuck” about a machine that can near 200 mph? If you think women aren’t attracted to sportbikes or their riders, you are sorely mistaken.

    1. Cuck scooters are Vespas and other similar types of vehicles. In that regard I agree to avoid mopeds and cuck scooters. But, you’re right – sport bikes are the shit. Much better scene around that than the fat, old raggedy pig females that hang around fatty chopper riders.

  52. Unfortunately in America at least, the picture of the chick on the Harley chopper is a paid promotion with no basis in reality.
    Most cycle sluts into Harleys are old and fat, just like the “retired Santa Claus” looking guys who ride them. I wish it were not so, but it unfortunately is.

    1. Never gets old…”Nice hog! and the bike isn’t bad either.”

    2. Then maybe look beyond cycle sluts that only in choppers. Maybe sports bikes are a much better arena.

      1. Oh yeah, that’s usually an improvement. But there’s also a surplus of um, ghetto fatties, on the backs of those too.

  53. Motorcycles are a great way to thin the herd and make everything a little better for all the other guys. I love motorcycle fail videos too!

  54. Like everything else it’s all relative. If women find you attractive for sure a motorcycle will certainly help. If they don’t it’s not going to help much. I’ve been back riding for a couple years now and you know how many chicks I’ve met because of it? Exactly zero. They wouldn’t be into me whether I was riding a motorcycle or riding a bicycle. I’m a short skinny broke-ass bald guy that has the sex appeal of a boiled frog’s ass. And before you start with the “just lift bro” or the “you just gotta be confident bro” bullshit you can’t fight genetics.
    I ride because I enjoy it. It’s a great release from the bullshit of everyday life. And yes it’s dangerous especially here in South Florida but you can’t live life scared. You could fall down the stairs or slip in the shower or get hit by lightning or walk into a bank robbery tomorrow but you don’t stop going about your life.

  55. You ride bikes, earn money, and do other materialistic things to impress American women.
    However, foreign women are different. They mainly care about who you are as a person.
    If an American guy tries to attract a foreign woman with money, etc., he may be rejected.

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