Women Are Like Bread

When a loaf comes out of the oven (puberty), it’s warm and delicious. You can’t help but stuff yourself. (18-24 years old)

When you leave the loaf out, it gets a little hard. You have to heat it up with a toaster first, but it still won’t taste fresh. (25-29 years old)

If you leave the bread out for too long, mold develops. You can cut away the mold, toast the bread, and still be able to eat it, but you won’t enjoy it. You’d have to be starving. (30-34 years old)

If you leave it for even longer, mold takes over and completely destroys the bread. There is no way to excise the toxic portions. You must throw it away before the mold makes you sick. (35 and up)

The lesson in this? Live next to the bakery.

Read More: The Sweet Spot

32 thoughts on “Women Are Like Bread”

  1. “When a loaf comes out of the oven (puberty), it’s warm and delicious. You can’t help but stuff yourself. (18-24 years old)”
    Puberty is 10-14 years old.
    You just outed yourself as a p-bear. Expect a call from HR.

  2. Don’t know how this works into the analogy, but you can also put jam, jelly, our peanut butter on bread so it’s not so plain. Or even better, you can put meat in it.

  3. I mean there’s also different kinds of bakeries. Some are better than others. Some are more exotic than others. Some are just plain terrible. Some are more expensive. Some are cheaper.
    Okay, this analogy is just getting annoying.

  4. Women are like bread. They’re hard to eat whole, so using a knife to separate them into easily-consumed slices is recommended.

  5. White bread, brown bread, multigrain bread, challah bread, roti, naan, French baguette, etc. Women are indeed like bread.

  6. I’m 45, my wife is 40, and she is hotter than any 20 year-old could imagine. There is life after 30’s ;).

    1. “What applies to women in the United States does not apply to women in the rest of the world.”

  7. No ephebephile, but girls are ready for relationships and baby making around as early as 9 to 12 years of age(blame the shitty diet some have here in the occident). 18 is when they start to decline. Women do not mature mentally past around 14 years of age, and from that point they age like milk. Fortunately for us, men age like a fine red. In the US aoc is 16 though. There just learning the power they hold over thirsty betas at that point though. Fuck 16 year olds though, and by that I mean not with your weiner. They are insufferable.

  8. hahahahaha it’s funny. not the article, but how stupid you are. lol idiot award. lol lol

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